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What Steve learned very early on about Eddie, was that Eddie liked to touch.
All kinds of touching; a quick squeeze of hand, a hand on the wrist to lead the way, a hair ruffle, a quick side hug, a full bear hug, a hand on the shoulder, or the neck or back or-
Eddie liked to touch.
Steve liked to be touched.
He especially liked to be touched by Eddie.
Of course he didn't say it out loud, he didn't even really get the 'why' of it yet. He just knew that whenever Eddie would touch him, even the most simple touch, he'd instinctively lean on to it and feel a bang of loss after it was gone.
Steve had always enjoyed being affectionate with the people he cared about, and loved when people were affectionate towards him - something maybe to do with the fact, that the last time his parents as much as shook his hand was when he was 15, when they let Steve know that he was a man now and would have to learn to take care of himself. (It was an excuse, of course, they just wanted to get away from Hawkins without feeling too guilty about leaving their son behind.)
He remembers that his mom used to give the warmest, most amazing hugs when he was younger, or maybe that's just the way he wants to remember them now, the hugs were always so rare, even then, only for special occasions (never just because, never for love).
He doesn't remember his dad's hugs.
With Nancy, it seemed like he had everything he ever needed, ever wanted.
Nancy liked to kiss, she liked to have sex, she liked to cuddle afterwards, she liked to hold hands, she liked when he would wrap his arms tight around her from behind and kiss whatever skin he could reach.
Well, at least he'd thought that she liked those things.
It just so happens that maybe she hadn't even really liked him, in the end.
Bullshit.
With Eddie though…
With Eddie, it was like he just gave and gave and gave and Steve didn't even need to ask for anything. Like if he just felt like it, he would do it, if Eddie felt like giving him a hug from out of nowhere, he would do it, if he just felt like giving Steve's hand a squeeze as a thanks, he'd do it. Like it was easy for him. Like he wasn't giving Steve whiplash every. single. time.
And that unwavering attention and care wasn't something Steve had ever really experienced.
So safe to say, Steve was kinda obsessed - okay, maybe a lot obsessed.
__
After everything with Vecna was done and buried (literally, they burned and buried everything they could - they were not taking any chances), Eddie had become a permanent figure in Steve's life.
It was kinda inevitable, seeing as the kids were so attached to him and his dragon dungeon game club - especially Dustin, the traitor - and Robin had also formed a weird bond with him, on some kind of a nerd-loner-outsider-kindred spirit way, that Steve apparently wouldn't get, being the ex-King Mister Popular that he was (Robin's words, not his).
So anyway, Eddie was part of The Group now or whatever the kids called it.
And Steve honestly didn't mind too much, Eddie was okay enough, every now and then.
Or most of the time.
Or maybe all of the time, whatever.
Okay, so maybe he kinda liked Eddie, maybe he liked having a male friend his age to hang around with, maybe he liked that Eddie was a little weird and dramatic and funny and touchy and pretty-
Anyway.
Eddie also seemed to genuinely like Steve, he liked to hangout with Steve and just do nothing and everything together and that was... nice, it was really nice.
__
The first time that they hung out together, just the two of them was not long after the third? fourth? end of the world thingy had been stopped (Eleven stopped it, really, with a little help from the rest of them), when Robin had promised to go see some sci fi space film with Eddie but had then had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances (Vicky had asked her to get milkshakes with her and she couldn't say no because she wasn't sure if it was a date or not, so she couldn't risk accidentally rejecting her and scaring her away forev- it was a date) and so Steve had generously offered to accompany Eddie.
Well, Robin forced him and Eddie bribed him with weed but whatever, details.
So Eddie and Steve went to see the movie together, just the two of them.
And surprisingly it wasn't the worst dat- day Steve’d had. Considering that he had no idea what was going on most of the time and he couldn't keep track of all the different words and terms that they were using, seriously he's pretty sure that most of them weren't English (Did aliens have their own languages?)
But.
But, throughout the whole movie Eddie had stayed pressed to him, shoulder to shoulder and happily kept explaining the plot and words and characters and everything to Steve with his face so close to the side of Steve's face that he could feel Eddie's curls touching his cheek.
And during scenes that he thought were good or exciting, Eddie would grab Steve's arm or wrist on the armrest and turn his head to throw him a delighted smile.
Steve's heart had beaten a little faster whenever he'd done that, for whatever reason.
And when the movie ended and they'd had to move, Steve had been kinda (a lot) disappointed that he had to get up and detach himself from Eddie's side.
Outside the theater when they'd gone back to their cars with Eddie still rambling about his favorite scenes and whatnot with Steve listening and nodding and asking questions about the things he hadn't quite understood (‘But how could they breathe, if there isn't any air in space? Or did they have like special alien lungs that they used to breathe space dust or something? Or maybe they didn't have lungs at all?’)
Eddie had stopped and turned to give him this awed? amused? fond? look before stepping forward and giving Steve a tight hug and softly speaking with his mouth basically touching Steves ear, “You’re so dumb.”
Then he’d pulled away with the biggest smile on his face and thanked him for joining him (‘Even if you didn't understand shit’) before taking the last steps to his car and saying with a shit-eating grin, "We shall make a fine nerd of you, oh King Steve.”
Before bending his waist to give him a dramatic bow and ducking inside his car and driving away with that stupid (pretty) grin still stuck on his face, leaving Steve standing there with his mouth open and brain still trying to figure out how to say ‘I’m not dumb!’
He hadn't even been able to say bye, he'd just lifted his hand in something of a wave.
And after, if he stood there for a while just staring at where Eddie had disappeared around the corner, with a baffled smile on his face, well that was nobody's business but his own (and the lady’s who accidently pumped in to him with her strollers and gave her a weird look when he didn't even spare her a glance, but anyway).
__
After that Eddie was just kinda always there.
And by 'there' he meant with Steve. And Eddie being with Steve meant touching, a lot of it. All the time.
Steve had never been so wholly satisfied but also so fucking confused.
Because the thing was, that with Eddie everything was just different.
The times they hung around together were sometimes weirdly charged, like they were both in on some secret that only they knew.
The times when Eddie would compliment Steve, didn't feel like when Robin or Dustin would compliment him, with Eddie it felt... compelling, good, so good and it would always leave Steve with a hot face and the inability to say anything smart back.
And when Eddie would touch him, well that kinda felt better than anything.
So, Steve was confused.
And Robin honestly was no help, because whenever Steve would talk - complain - to her about Eddie and the way he made Steve feel, Robin would just give him this look and tell him to figure it out.
Like the whole reason he was even talking to Robin about it wasn’t so he could figure it the fuck out.
Robin’s look was also starting to seriously piss him off, because what the fuck did it mean.
She’d just raise her eyebrows and have this look in her eyes like she was pleading for Steve to not be stupid.
It kinda reminded Steve of the look she’d given him in the Starcourt bathroom when he'd said 'But Tammy Thompson’s a girl'-
Oh, shit
Eddie Munson was a fucking boy, wasn’t he?
And thank god, he hadn't said that aloud, because, what the fuck?
But also, yes, because Steve definitely knew what that meant.
It meant that Eddie Munson was a boy.
And Steve had a huge fucking crush on him.
A boy.
Shit.
Shitshitshitshitshit.
__
So, Steve had a problem.
An enormous Eddie-shaped problem.
And okay, it wasn't like Steve had been completely obvious to the way he felt about the other boy. He was aware that he thought Eddie was attractive (so fucking pretty, oh, my god) and he knew that maybe sometimes they were kinda flirty with each other and Steve maybe, kinda liked that.
But, Steve just hadn't thought that he was like that.
Not that there was anything wrong with being like that!
With being gay.
He might as well start trying to use the actual word, seeing as maybe he was ga-
But no, Steve really didn't think he was because seriously, boobies!
What other explanation was there, though?
Because now that Steve had figured it out, now that he could really think about it, fuck, he really wanted to kiss Eddie. His brain was honestly kinda short circuiting just thinking about it.
And that wasn't something he'd think about if he didn't like boys!
But maybe he could like both, maybe he could like both boobies and Eddie Munson. Surely that's a thing, right? He’s like 80% sure that he'd heard Robin talking about something like that.
Both.
Yeah, that felt right.
__
So, now that Steve had all this kinda figured out, he just had to decide what to do about it.
The thought of going to Robin for advice was tempting but he doesn’t think that he could deal with Robin's face when he told her that he had a crush on Eddie ‘the freak’ Munson.
She probably knew already, but still.
Did Eddie even like boys? What if he didn’t even like Steve and this was all just an elaborate prank and any minute now Eddie would jump from around the corner and laugh about how he’d made Steve ‘the ladies man’ gay (well, almost gay anyway, half-gay? gay for Eddie? Goddammit he really needed Robin's expertise with this).
But no, that wouldn't happen, Eddie wasn't like that, he wasn't cruel. If Steve did tell him about his feelings and they weren’t reciprocated, Eddie would most likely be super kind about it and still stay friends with him after.
Fuck, that would still be kinda awful and so embarassing.
But as luck would have it, Steve didn't really have to suffer for too long with the maybes and what-ifs.
__
“Are you ready to get your tiny, bland mind blown by the greatest musical talent of our age?”
came the shout from Steve's door as it was opened with maybe a little too much force.
Steve flinched a little from where he'd been leaning on the kitchen counter fixedly staring at the pasta cooking, before shouting back, “Hey, fuck you, my mind isn’t tiny and bland! It's a totally awesome mind!”
There was a cackle in the hallway leading to the kitchen before Eddie rounded the corner with a smirk on his face.
“Sure it is, Mr. ‘Tears for Fears and Journey are my favorite bands.’”
“Hey, they are completely respectable bands to like, you're just weird and picky,” Steve says with a scoff and a half smile that he hid by turning back to his pasta.
He’d kinda forgotten that Eddie was supposed to come over today, or not really forgotten, he’d just been distracted - it was only a couple of days after his holyshitIhaveacrushonEddie realisation and honestly, that had kinda been the only thing on his mind.
They were supposed to listen to some vinyls on Steve's parents record player that Eddie had found while snooping (‘I was not snooping, just admiring your dad’s wooden desk, have I not told you that I have a special interest in wood.’)
Eddie had insisted that they needed to use the player, seeing as it was an actual quality player and would probably make the music sound way better than anything he'd ever owned.
This had then also led to them driving to a record store and buying even more records, all the while Eddie educated Steve on what he had declared as real music. Then they'd gone out to eat and stole food from each other's plates. That was a good day.
“Whatever you say, princess,” Eddie says with his hands held up in a placating manner and a smile still on his face, “Are you cooking?”
Eddie approaches him from behind and leans over his shoulder to look at what Steve was making, momentarily resting his chin on Steve's shoulder, before pulling away to lean his elbows on the counter with his chin in his hands and looking at Steve from under his lashes.
Fuckity fucking fuck.
“Yes, I’m cooking, what does it look like!” Steve replies while lifting his hands to indicate the sauce bubbling in the pan and pasta boiling in the pot.
“Whoa, no need to bite my head off, Stevie,” Eddie shoots back with his eyebrows lifted and eyes big, “You okay? You seem a little... on edge, have you been sleeping?” Eddie continues and lifts his hand to lay it on Steve's arm that's been stirring the sauce.
And there Eddie was being a great fucking friend and being concerned for him while Steve was being a snappy asshole, just because he couldn’t deal with a little touch and Eddie looking like a fucking dream.
“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m sorry, it's just,” Steve raises the arm not being held by Eddie, and rubs his face, “sorry I don’t know, just… a little out of it, I guess.” Eddie’s still looking at him with sharp and worried eyes, like he's trying to find the answer on his face.
“Honestly, I promise I’m fine,” Steve adds with a small smile, when it looks like Eddie is about to keep asking. “How about we just eat this frankly delicious meal that I’ve made for us out of the goodness of my heart and then you can preach about your devil’s music and shout at me about my music taste, okay?”
Eddie looks at him for a moment in silence before opening his mouth, “I can't believe you just called it devil’s music, you peasant,” he drags out, breaking the tension and finally detaching his hand from Steve's arm to hold it against his heart in mock offense, “But yeah that sound good, and honestly that smells very good and I am fucking starving.” Eddie says and at last turns his piercing eyes from Steve to give the food a longing look.
Steve just rolls his eyes in response, glad that Eddie knows when to not push the matter.
“It’s just pasta.”
So they eat, and it is pretty good, if he can say so himself. Or as Eddie puts it ‘Like my taste buds are having an orgy’.
He's so stupid.
God, Steve likes him.
After they're done with the food, they put the dishes in the sink, Eddie promising to wash them later seeing as Steve made dinner, and move to the living room, where Steve drops on the couch while Eddie sets up the record player and pulls out the vinyls they'd bought.
“Okay, so obviously we have to start with some Black Sabbath, right Ozzy-boy?” Eddie smirks, giving him a teasing look from the floor.
“Sorry, still don't know what you mean by that,” Steve replies with a shake of a head - he totally does, he just likes the look that Eddie gets when his idols go without the respect he thinks they deserve.
And there it is, the look, with his eyebrows up in offense and eyes full of disapproval.
“Can’t fucking believe the nerve of you sometimes, princess,” Eddie mutters and turns his head back to the player.
Steve can see the smile he's trying to fight back.
Once Eddie’s got the record playing he jumps from the floor and comes to sit on the couch on the opposite end with their feet meeting in the middle.
“Here we go, now this first one is kind of a popular one but it’s not my favorite, I mean obviously it’s fucking great, but the guitars aren’t as strong in this one, and I mean, you gotta have some guitar, you know-,” Eddie rambles on while looking at Steve like he surely agrees and Steve doesn’t really know what he’s talking about, but he’s happy to agree with anything Eddie says just to keep that pleased smile on his face.
Eddie has the best smile.
Steve is gone.
It continues like that for some time, with Eddie explaining everything and anything and Steve just nodding along and asking some questions and giving opinions -occasionally saying stupid shit just to see Eddie’s reaction. (‘No, Steve, that wasn't violin, there isn't violin in Black Sabbath!-’ ‘What do you mean this sounds like fucking ABBA?’)
When Eddie gets up to change the record while talking about some song he'd been trying to learn to play on his guitar, Steve shifts a little closer to the middle of the couch, just a little, because, well just because, shut up.
“-and it took me forever to get the chord change right, ‘cause it’s just so fast and these fingers are good but not that good,” Eddie’s saying and brings his fingers to Steve's face to wiggle them with a grin on his lips.
God.
“Uh huh,” Steve says out loud and hopes that his face isn't as red as it feels - it probably is, if the widening of Eddie's grin is anything to go by.
Eddie flops back on the couch, decidedly closer than he’d been before. He even puts one of his hands on Steve's ankle that's resting on the seat, like that's just absolutely normal behavior and not making Steve's heart beat at a rate that is very much not normal.
Then he even has the audacity to just keep talking like there is nothing out of the ordinary happening (there kinda isn't, Eddie is always like this, it's just Steve who is feeling so very much out of the ordinary).
Steve is just sitting there staring into nothing and trying to will his brain to not make this a big deal, when Eddie seems to take notice that he’s not paying attention.
“Hello? Earth to Steve? You still listening?” Eddie questions and waves his other hand in front of Steve's face, “All good? You feeling ‘out of it’ again?” Eddie’s looking a little concerned again.
And what Steve means to respond is ‘Oh yeah, I’m good, sorry, just spaced out for a bit’ or maybe ‘Oh hey, you do remember that I'm still here!’
But what comes out instead is:
“I have a crush on you.”
WHAT
..
“What?”
“Shit- wait- I meant- I mean, I meant that I want to crush you- Oh god, no that didn’t save it, that made it worse- um- shitfuck-” Steve had his face in his hands and he was honestly contemplating just running out and drowning himself in the pool-
“Steve.”
“Mhm.”
“Steve.”
“Yup.”
He heard Eddie sigh, he didn’t know if it was a good sigh or a bad sigh.
“Steve, will you please look at me?”
“Uh no, I don't think I will,” Steve responds with his face still buried in his hands.
Steve felt Eddie’s hand leave his ankle, and had a second to absolutely fucking hate himself, before he felt two hands grabbing his, gently pulling them away from his face.
"Stevie, please look at me,” Eddie pleads and he doesnt sound disgusted or angry, he sounds… hopeful?
And that gets Steve to finally lift his gaze from his lap to Eddie, to find him-
Smiling.
He’s smiling.
“Hey,” Eddie says when their eyes meet.
“Hi,” Steve says back, with his bottom lip caught between his teeth and face screwed up in anxiety.
“You have a crush on me?” Eddie's smile is widening.
“Oh, my God,” Steve despairs and is ready to yank his hands from Eddie's hold just to hide his burning face.
“Baby, you have a crush on me?” Eddie is positively grinning now. He tightens his hands around Steve’s hands like he knows what Steve’s thinking.
The fucker.
“I’m gonna go drown myself in the pool,” Steve states simply.
“Nah, I don't think you should do that.”
“And why is that?”
Eddie moves one hand from Steve's hands to his face, cupping his jaw,
“Because then I couldn’t do this,” and kisses him.
Steve's brain is silent and full of so much noise all at the same time.
Because one part is like ‘Oh, my God, Eddie is kissing me, I’m kissing Eddie, his lips are soft, his hand is on my fucking neck-
And the other part is just a calm, familiar… Eddie.
“Or, I guess I kind of could have done this then too, if I had to give you mouth-to-mouth, you know, obviously that would have been way less fun, but-,” Eddie - the fucking smartass - says and pulls away just a little.
“Shutupshutupshutup,” Steve pulls him right back in.
–
Epilogue
“And I mean, it literally took me years to come to terms with the fact that I like girls, and even longer to even consider the possibility of making the moves on a girl, and then there comes you, having a sexuality crisis and figuring it out - without me, might I add! - and then fucking confessing to your very first boy crush, all within a damn week!”
Steve watches bemusedly as Robin’s rant comes to an end and raises his eyebrows, “Yeah, I know, Rob, I was there. And also this is the fourth time that we’re having this conversation, can you please give it up already.”
Robin shakes her head with wide eyes and hands gesturing around her aimlessly “No, I will not ‘give it up’, Steven-"
“Don't call me Steven.”
“-I will never give this up, because you, good sir, are obviously not human-”
‘Not human’ Steve mouths in confusion.
“-you’re clearly some kind of a extraterrestrial being who feels no shame, no trepidation, no butterflies, who doesn't even understand the concept of not going after whoever you’re attracted to-”
“Uhm, sorry, do you guys have Breakfast Club?”
Robin's eyes widen in panic before she quickly turns from where she’d been leaning against the counter with her back towards the door, to give the woman who just walked in, her best customer service smile before rounding the counter to help her find the movie, not without looking over her shoulder to mouth ‘this isn't over’. Steve leaves her to it with a shake of a head.
They’re supposed to be working, but for most of the day Robin’s had a very different idea and has instead decided to be a fucking menace. Again.
Safe to say, when Steve had finally told Robin about Eddie and him, a little over three weeks ago (almost a month!), Robin had, as expected, been very smug but also very infuriated, because apparently it was a great offense against Robin, for Steve to have a queer awakening and get a boyfriend, all without her knowledge. (‘I was supposed to be your friendly neighbourhood lesbian and help you lead your way to greatness!’)
She’d been happy for him, of course, and proud of him, which she'd shown Steve in her own way. And Steve had been very glad that he could talk to her about everything, she had been a big help.
So far Robin is the only one who knows about Steve and Eddie, and well, maybe Max, but Max somehow knows everything, so that doesn't really count. They haven't told the rest of the kids yet, not because they want to keep it a secret - honestly, they are not very subtle - but because they just haven't really figured out how to tell them yet, and well it's not like there's a deadline.
Dustin will maybe be a bit pissed that they didn't tell him sooner, but frankly Dustin could probably figure it out by himself if he just gave up on the idea that Robin was the perfect person for Steve (she is, but in a totally Platonic way).
“God, sometimes I forget that we are actually working and not just hanging out, you know?” Robin says from where she's returning to her prior position of leaning against the counter, finally done with the customer.
“Tell me about it,” Steve agrees from where he's slouching behind the computer, where he'd been pretending to look busy.
Robin gazes at him intently before opening her mouth to speak.
“No! No, Robin we are not continuing this conversation, let's talk about anything else, c’mon,” Steve retorts and points a stern finger in Robin's direction.
Robins rolls her eyes before relenting, “Okay, fine, jesus, someone’s cranky, how does Eddie deal with you all the time?”
Steve gives her an unimpressed look and she just smiles sweetly back before her smile turns a little devious.
“So, what are you doing after work?”
She is insatiable.
“You know what I’m doing after work, Rob.”
“Yeah, but I wanna hear you say it.”
Steve's eyes literally almost roll out of his head due to the colossal eye roll he gives her, but he can also feel a smile wanting to break out, he sighs out, “I’m seeing Eddie.”
“Ooh, ” Robin echoes with her eyes big and a smile even bigger.
“Shut up, you’re literally seeing Vickie after work, you hypocrite.”
“Big word.”
“I hate you.”
He really doesn't.
–
He does see Eddie after work (does a little bit more than just see him, if you know what I mean).
Which leads to where they are right now, on Steve's bed, a little sweaty, a lot content.
Eddie is lying directly on top of Steve, with his head on the pillow next to Steve’s, his hand is on Steve's waist, the other up in Steve's hair where he is gently scratching his scalp. Every now and then he'll move his head to kiss Steve's shoulder or neck or jaw.
Steve has both of his arms around Eddie's back and legs tangled with his. He is completely and perfectly enveloped.
And it’s, God, it’s just so fucking good, the weight of Eddie surrounding him from all around, his hands on him, his breath on the side of his face, it’s just… everything. Everything Steve could ever want.
And Eddie is happy to give it, he’s happy to lie on top of Steve for hours just because Steve wants him to. He doesn't mind that Steve gets clingy sometimes, he understands, he likes it even (really likes it). And wasn’t that just an astonishing concept for Steve to learn. That someone could just unapologetically enjoy him, just as he was.
Eddie rises just a little and Steve automatically tightens his arms around him, letting out a little noise in retaliation (it was a whine, a stupid whiny whine). Chuckling, Eddie lifts his head to give Steve an amused look, “I’m not going anywhere, you’re hip is just fucking stabbing me.”
“You better not.”
Eddie just keeps staring at him with fond, sharp eyes.
“What?” Steve finally lets out when it looks like Eddie won't say anything.
“You do know that I'm not going anywhere, not just right now but like in general?” Eddie says with a smile. “And that you don't have to feel like you need to enjoy this to the fullest while you still have it, like I could disappear tomorrow.”
..
Oof.
Steve just opens and closes his mouth for a while trying to find something to say to that.
Eddie keeps looking at him with a smile but it's tinted with a little sadness now.
“Yeah- I mean- um- of course I know that, “ Steve stutters out, very much not convincingly.
“Oh, yeah? Do you know? You don't sound very sure, baby,” Eddie replies and his smile has turned a little teasing. He moves his hand from Steve's hair to his face, cupping his cheek, with his thumb moving back and forth over his cheek.
Steve is finding it a little hard to think, “I’m so sure.”
“Well, good,” Eddie says, satisfied, before leaning down to press their lips together.
It’s a sweet kiss, gentle, full of things left unsaid.
“And anyway, it’s not like you could even leave if you tried, “ Steve pulls away to state, tightening his arms around Eddie as an explanation, “You’re trapped.”
Eddie's grinning, “Oh yeah, and you think I couldn't fight my way out, big boy?”
“Uh, definitely not, I’m stronger than you.”
“Hm, I don't know about that.”
“I so am, you’re welcome to try and wrestle your way out.”
Eddie seems to consider it for a second before shaking his head, “Nah, I’m good,” then he lays his head down on the pillow and settles back down atop of Steve.
Steve's smile is so big, it's making his cheeks ache. “Fine, then.”
Eddie is not going anywhere and Steve doesn't really know what he's done to deserve him, but he's not gonna question it. He's gonna hold on to this with everything he has, for as long as he can. And he hopes it’s a very long-
“On second thought, can we wrestle anyway, ‘cause honestly, that sounds kinda hot-”
“Oh, it is fucking on, Munson!”