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The problem with insults is that they only work if the person being insulted is hurt by them.
Heartless, for Félix, is more of a personality descriptor than an insult. He tries not to be cruel about it, he truly does, but he does not mind...detaching himself from most other people.
Romance is just another form of care forever locked from his grasp. There are many forms of care and regard and attraction; they are not all synonymous, but romance encapsulates all three into one convenient word that everyone is capable of understanding.
He's always found himself relating to robot and artificial intelligence characters in fiction, not that he reads science fiction as often. He's always preferred the classics.
Why take "robot" as an insult? He may as well attempt to claim that label.
He is, according to his research, not alone in his dehumanization. There are other people like him -- aromantic, as they call it -- and they are also called robotic or non-human for their rejection of moments.
He has never been one to find solace in camaraderie.
But. Well. There is one concept that intrigues him.
Voidpunk. Punk is a movement for fools, in his opinion; resistance is high effort for low returns.
Well, he benefits from the systems in place at the moment. He's well aware of that, and why resistance may be important to some people.
He likes being his perfect mother's son. He is his mother's pride and joy, and he will always embrace that. She loves him unconditionally. She is one of the few people Félix has ever felt that the word love could possibly apply to.
But this framework of looking at life is fascinating. It is not about casting aside the labels put upon them, but embracing these labels instead. It is rather passive for something that brands itself punk.
"So what if I am inhuman?" this philosophy challenges. "I am. What are you going to do about it?"
What will they do about it indeed.
Félix is not a believer in the idea of resistance. It is just another case of the sunk cost fallacy in action; another idea that if the resistance keeps working one day the tide will flow in their favor.
But this "voidpunk" is not a conventional form of resistance. It is resistance through embracing, and that is hardly a form of resistance at all.
It is novel in its differences. Félix is greatly intrigued by the possibilities.
Hmm. The reclamation is meant to steal power from those who would label them as inhuman.
Embracing it means -- well, he supposes it means that he is the one determining what he is. And inhuman is not an insult -- it does not have to be.
It does not have to hold power over him, so he will not let it. He refuses to let it, as a matter of fact.
Ah. So that is where the resistance comes from. It is a personal resistance, not a societal one. It is a change in individual mindset, not in the minds of others.
Félix finds that he much prefers this style of resistance. It suits him much more, he believes; it is a simple act of changing how he thinks and not much else. He does not have to change anything about who he is. He is just the same person he has always been, and he will not change to suit others.
Is inflexibility a form of resistance?
He does not wish to change his aesthetic to suit this philosophy; he has always been a proper English son and will remain such. Nor is he interested in designing the thing he would be were he not human. It is not as though he could visualize that in the first place, though. It is enough to know this philosophy is in his mind, that his response to being called a robot will be "so what?"
He has no problem with being a robot. He is well and truly at peace with his lack of feeling; he does not care for the company of others (in a romantic sense), though he could learn to tolerate having a wife for the sake of family. He would never love this person.
He does not cry often when books or movies or video games are sad. The trolley problem has always had an obvious solution to him. He is pragmatic at his core.
None of those traits are bad. In his honest opinion, they make him better. But they are also what makes people see him as somewhat less than human.
As though any of these traits are inherently bad. As though being overly emotional is good.
Félix is not lacking in sympathy or empathy. He is perfectly capable of putting himself in someone else's shoes. He just does not do so by default, like so many others. He is capable of doing it, but it does not come easily.
He is not literally a robot. His heart beats and when he cuts himself he bleeds and feels pain. He is not made of metal and wire and circuitry.
He is not literally a void. He exists, after all. That is the opposite of being a void.
But nonetheless -- this philosophy has given him much to think about. Much to find. Much to discover about himself.
He may not be literally inhuman, but it is a useful enough framework to use. To turn the insults hurled into something better. Something more. Something that can be well and truly reclaimed.
Félix has never believed in resistance before. But now he believes he truly understands the point of it all. Resistance is not just in the loud, large gestures. It is also in the personal things, the changing of mindsets, the shifting of thought patterns that were once established.
He thinks this resistance is much more useful. He is capable of fighting his thoughts. An entire society is much more difficult to take down, after all.
