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gardenGnostic [GG] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]
GG: hey dave!!
TG: like im one of those pathetic assholes who go around whipping out monogrammed handkerchiefs and weeping in public
TG: boohoo my heart is breaking and im a melodramatic douche
GG: what???
TG: shitfuckballs
TG: i was talking to john ignore that
TG: seriously jade ignore it
TG: its like ass oclock in wherever your mad scientist shindig is
TG: the fuck are you doing online opening ninja pesterchum windows
GG: well hello to you too mister grumpypants!
GG: here i go to the trouble of taking an afternoon nap so ill be awake at ass oclock to say hi to you
GG: (dont worry the presentation i missed was stupid and boring)
TG: all physics presentations are boring
GG: and you have the nerve to be ungrateful!
GG: hmph!
GG: also my presentations are never boring
TG: k true your presentations lean more toward
TG: wowza smoking hot babe come on baby lean forward please please boobs oh please yessssss
GG: hey if youve got it youve got it! ;)
TG: and/or holy shit shes going to destroy the fabric of reality as we know it
TG: we must band together in a cowardly cabal and stop her
TG: for the sake of the world men
TG: the sake of the world
GG: nyah!
GG: id totally fix anything i broke
GG: we fixed sburb didnt we?
GG: dark matter is way simpler than that! :)
TG: says you
GG: says me! :D anyway whats up with you?
GG: lawyers still arguing over the sbahj game licensing deal?
TG: theyre fucking vultures all of them i swear
TG: circling around like sharks in the air rabies dripping from their devil beaks
TG: waiting for me to roll over show my belly admit i give a shit how the product turns out
TG: and im holding out for storyline approval because of reasons
TG: not just for shits and giggles
GG: well you are holding out for reasons :)
TG: lies and also slander
TG: i deny everything
GG: lol!!! i have faith in you!
GG: unless someone gets rose to advise the game company theres no way they can stonewall better than you
GG: and they will just have to live with making a game that sucks on purpose :)
TG: no
TG: making a game that fails on purpose
TG: sucks implies its playing by the rules even if it makes people want to shove their fists through the screen
TG: i acknowledge no rules get your terminology right
GG: phlbbbbbbbbbbt!!!
GG: like you do any better with scientific vocabulary mister coolguy
GG: change of subject!
GG: have you written any sick jams since ive been gone?
TG: you know me babe i spin sick beats like im an assembly line and theyre model t fords
TG: want me to send you some files
GG: sure!
GG: but................
GG: first let me send one to you
TG: making music instead of science harley
TG: what will the hall monitors say
TG: bad girl no nobel prize for you here comes the rolled up newspaper
GG: lalala i am ignoooooooooring you!
GG: and its not like anyone notices im wearing headphones during the stupid presentations
GG: my hairs a pretty good cover
TG: i bet your physics nerds dont even think you have normal ears under that mane
GG: they do!
GG: well at least they do until they realize becs ears arent a headband :(
GG: then they tend to avoid talking to me about anything that isnt technical
TG: weird
TG: id expect better from a field known for being completely shithive maggots and turning reality upside down for kicks
TG: if our neighbors dont blink and your advisors dont blink why should people who believe six impossible things before breakfast as a professional requirement
GG: i am sure it will get better!
GG: berkeley got better pretty fast and this is my first professional conference after all
GG: maybe i should have picked something smaller than the deutsche physikalische gesellschafts spring meeting
TG: gesundheit
GG: lol!
GG: but seriously its not that bad
GG: the gift of gab helps with understanding all the german and i am learning tons of interesting things!
GG: like the science behind sylladexes and how fetch moduses interact with them
GG: i think i could maybe design you a new modus that incorporates more musical elements than just rhyme
GG: so you wouldnt have those goofs sometimes when you forget to swap moduses before a freestyle competition
TG: lies blatant lies i never goof anything
TG: also if this involves me singing in public i have two words
TG: fuck
TG: and also
TG: no
TG: forget that and send me your music already
TG: im bored i could use something new to remix
GG: ..........
GG: ok!
GG: i hope you like it!!!
gardenGnostic [GG] sent turntechGodhead [TG] file "its a secret.mp3"
TG: got it
TG: k hang on while i open it and immerse my ears in the audio stylings of the worlds most eclectic bass player
TG: ...
TG: harley
TG: jade
TG: what
GG: thats not a no, right?
TG: no thats not a "no" thats a "what"
TG: which im now going to repeat
TG: what
TG: you just proposed to me in song complete with autotune desecration and a background of woofs for a beat
TG: i think i deserve some explanation
GG: i got tired of waiting for you to ask me!
GG: first i thought, oh who even cares if we get married that seems so silly after everything weve been through
GG: then i thought, but that would make marriage ironic so i bet daves working on some super secret awesome proposal
GG: then i started wondering why i was even wondering because its not like i ever dreamed about getting married as a kid
GG: getting furry ears maybe but not getting married
TG: only you harley
GG: :)
GG: and in the end i decided that yes i do want to marry you dave strider
GG: partly because i love you and i want to have a ring and a piece of paper telling the world how cool i think you are
GG: but mostly because of taxes
GG: we could save over a thousand dollars a year if we got married!!
TG: jegus woman thats cold
TG: were talking antarctica here the penguins are frolicking
TG: got polar bears waiting to move in they say alaskas too warm now gotta keep close to jade harley
GG: just kidding!!!!
GG: other way around!
GG: taxes are a side benefit :)
GG: really i just want something that makes us legally each others family
GG: kind of like john and i dug up birth certificates and stuff and figured out my grandpa and his nanna were brother and sister so were legally cousins
GG: and hes my next of kin and im his
GG: or like you and rose got that gene test done so youre officially brother and sister
GG: i want that for us too
GG: only not as siblings, durr
TG: damn right youre not my sister
TG: theres only room for one rose lalonde in this world and im not even sure about that some days
TG: theres a suspicious creaking at the corners of reality
TG: universe stretching at its seams trying to hold in the sheer weight of her pretentiousness
GG: not her swag?
TG: obviously not im the one with reality warping swag
TG: get your facts straight what kind of scientist are you missing the evidence in front of your face
GG: and under my hands
GG: and my tongue ;)
TG: that too
GG: sooooooooooo........
GG: what do you say????
TG: hang on back in a sec
TG: wait no 92 seconds
TG: just hang on
GG: ..............
GG: ........................
GG: ..................
GG: its funny how i never realized how long a minute and a half could be until now
GG: .................
GG: daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave
GG: it has been ninety-three seconds now!
turntechGodhead [TG] sent gardenGnostic [GG] file "answer.jpg"
TG: there you go
TG: and no it wasnt 93 seconds
TG: time is my bitch thats not a thing that ever stopped being true
TG: you started counting in the wrong place or something
GG: dave!!!!!!!!!!!
GG: you are such a fuckass!
GG: this comic is terrible, verging on incomprehensible! even for you!!
GG: but yeah ok you can wear the dress if you really want
GG: im sure youll be pretty as a picture :)
TG: and youll be dashing in your suit and sweep me off my feet
TG: carry me to the car and drive away into the sunset
TG: egbert will weep for joy
TG: buckets of tears
GG: like its a nic cage movie!
TG: the whole church will flood guests swimming frantically for the refuge of the balconies
TG: quick someone open the doors
TG: let loose the tsunami on the unsuspecting parking lot
TG: how can so much water come from one man
TG: flagrant violation of the law of conservation of matter call the physics police
TG: oh wait thats harley and she just left on her honeymoon with that hunk of delicious manmeat
TG: were screwed
GG: lol!!!
TG: even rose might shed a single crystal tear for the sake of appearances
GG: shell be smiling on the inside :)
GG: i just wish we could invite all the others too
GG: i bet karkat would love weddings
TG: gog no what a hideous thought
GG: kanaya would help with the clothes, jane and roxy could cater, terezi could fight john over being best man and making embarrassing toasts...........
GG: :(
TG: yeah well thats life
TG: hands you a triple layer cake with one hand
TG: kicks you in the nuts with the other
TG: splat cake all over the ground better sue for assault
GG: ...that doesnt even make sense
GG: you cant kick someone with your hand!
TG: dont confuse me with your science logic
TG: true irony is beyond such petty considerations
TG: besides a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds
TG: max planck
GG: i am fairly sure max planck never said that but ok!
TG: well run into them in the dream bubbles sooner or later and pass on the good news
TG: kidbro will be cool with it
TG: kidgramps too
GG: i know :)
GG: i wish i could talk to you all night but like you said its ass oclock here in dusseldorf
GG: i need my beauty sleep
TG: sleep sure but not for beauty
TG: youre a sight for sore eyes even running on fumes and hungover with literal rats nesting in your crazy hair
TG: true facts yo
GG: same to you assface <3
TG: you remember what i was saying to john when your ninja window popped up and stole my words
TG: i am the melodramatic douche
TG: it is me
TG: i miss you like fuck jade
GG: me too
GG: i miss your stupid face and your shitty swords all over our apartment and the way the takeout grows mold in the fridge and neither of us can keep a diurnal schedule to save our lives
GG: i miss you like fuck
GG: and i miss fucking you
GG: jegus i miss that
GG: when i get home i swear im going to jump you in the airport and well sneak into a handicapped bathroom and ill kiss you hello all over
GG: and i mean ALL OVER
GG: teeth and tongue and wet and hot and LONG
GG: until well have to catch a taxi home because youre too fucked out to drive
GG: :D
TG: promises promises
TG: and who says i wont just make you drive
TG: or teleport even
TG: i know you cant do transcontinental anymore but airport to apartment is in your range
GG: :O
GG: what kind of knight wouldnt return his ladys favor!
TG: the kind who knows anticipation makes everything ten times hotter
TG: durr harley durr
GG: ok fair point!
TG: much as id love to continue this conversation
TG: cybersex being so much better than no sex that there is literally no comparison
TG: im going to be strong and say goodbye because its ass oclock in mad scientist country
TG: as has been pointed out repeatedly
TG: and you need to be fresh to knock the physics imps dead tomorrow
GG: ................
GG: wah :(
TG: i know i know it hurts being deprived of my massive swag
GG: and other massive things ;)
TG: but its time to say goodnight moon goodnight room
TG: goodnight jade harley
TG: yes ill marry you
TG: well live happily ever after and even death will be too pansy ass to part us
GG: fairy tale ending for the win!!!
GG: (ironically of course)
TG: ...
TG: tell you a secret jade
TG: just this once
TG: fuck irony
TG: i meant every word
GG: i love you too dave
GG: <3<3<3
TG: you are such a derp
TG: come home soon
TG: <3
gardenGnostic [GG] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG]