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Chapter Text

It was early morning, and Kaeya’s mind kept thinking of those words that Diluc, who had once been his brother and best friend, had said.
Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor.

It was another day in which Kaeya had woken up before the sun. The streets were peaceful and quiet. Yet, Kaeya’s mind was not. The words of his former brother echoed in his mind.
He wandered, not knowing where he was going, simply pondering aimlessly.

His mind racing back to that rainy night. To the day that Diluc had left him.
How many months had it been? Kaeya thought helplessly. Had it been months, or perhaps years? He didn’t know, everything was a blur. From the day everything fell apart. The day that he was alone. Yet, it was rare that he would get the chance to simply think. There would always be something to do, being a Cavalry Captain was no easy feat, of course.
He was living, no - surviving in a world that had told him he did not belong. A world that had thrown him away. Like Khaenri'ah. Kaeya vowed never to seek comfort again. Not from family, never from the world that had told him he did not belong. Fool me twice, shame on me.

But oh how much he missed the old life, where it was him following Diluc. Watching as his brother perfectly carried out fath- Crepus’s dreams. Kaeya always being there to support him, Diluc always watching over him. That happiness, it had made Kaeya a fool. It had made him think that this world did care for him.

The sound of fluttering wings racing away brought Kaeya out of his thoughts.
Then, he heard a cry, “Hey! You scared all my pigeons away!”
Kaeya’s looked rather stunned and saw a boy who was glaring at him.
Kaeya sighed, it was only Timmie, a loaf of bread in his hand. People in town had always talked about him. Now moreso, for Timmie had picked up a new hobby of feeding the birds. Despite his antics, and extremely bad location to open up a bird restaurant, a lot of the town pitied him.

“They’ll be back,” Kaeya replied.
“But what if they don’t come back,” the boy cried, “just like my father!”
Whispers that floated swirled told Kaeya all he needed to know. A cruel fate. A fate that Timmie did not need to know.
Kaeya hummed absentmindedly, “That’ll make the two of us then.” Kaeya’s eye widened, why had he said that. Thankfully, Timmie hadn’t heard him.

Kaeya coughed, then mustered a smile, “Of course the pigeons will be back, everyone loves Mondstadt’s favorite Cavalry Captain. That’s me, of course.” He paused for dramatic effect, then added, “They were probably so amazed to meet me that they ran off to get their friends.”

Timmie had been staring off into the distance, perhaps he did not hear him. Yet Timmie soon replied, “The pigeons aren’t here for you, they’re my friends.”

Perhaps, in another life, had the world been a tad crueler, Kaeya would have been like Timmie. He shuddered. In both lives alone, simply in different ways. Had fath- Master Crepus not been so kind, perhaps Kaeya would have been yelling at travelers for scaring his friends. Yet, maybe not pigeons. He chuckled to himself, maybe Abyss Mages. He had always been fond of the Cyro ones, even as a kid. That would be a sight to behold. A boy giving Abyss Mages some sandwiches and yelling at people for ruining their picnic. Realization sank in. Khaenri'ah. He let out a sad sigh. Some trains of thoughts aren’t meant to make it past the station.

The bell rang loudly signaling the time in Mondstadt and thankfully ending Kaeya’s thoughts. “Ah, well I must be off then, Mondstadt’s favorite Calvary Captain has work to do.”

Kaeya walked off, and looked back at Timmie. The pigeons were slowly, cautiously flying back.

As Kaeya marched into the Knights of Favonius Headquarters, he was greeted by busy knights and a bustling environment.

There, he saw Jean.
Jean, who had been talking to Grand Master Varka, quickly turned around and waved.
Kaeya smiled, a real smile, and waved back. Like a ray of sun in a storm, Jean had always been there for them- for Kaeya and Diluc.

Yet, as he watched her go back to her conversation with Varka, Kaeya recalled. Jean had just recently become Master of the Knights after Eroch had turned out to be a traitor.

Eroch was mainly the reason why Kaeya had to work so hard to prove him amongst the knights. As soon as Kaeya became Cavalry Captain, Eroch had been very upset, saying it wasn’t fair and that Kaeya had only become a knight because of Diluc and Crepus. Jean of course had stood up for Kaeya yet the damage had been done as the other knights had believed Eroch. Many of the knights had refused to even look at the new blue-haired cavalry captain.

Being Diluc’s “replacement” was not something that Kaeya wanted to be. Yet here he was, another thing that he did not want to do thrown at him. When Diluc had left, everything had fallen apart. And Kaeya, well Kaeya had to be there to fix up the mess. He had to fix up this mess. Even if all he did was want to curl up into a ball and cry. And Kaeya could not be mediocre. No way. Yet, there was no way for him to be better than Diluc, was there? Yet he had to do it. Because everyone already thought he was incapable, thought that the only reason he got his job was because his brother had advocated for him before he left (if only they knew). Eroch had added to this.

Deep down Kaeya did not care what the others thought of him. Yet a small voice that he had tried so hard to stub out spoke, we should take care of things until Diluc comes back! Because even after everything that happened, Kaeya could not afford to disappoint his (former) big brother. How ridiculous Kaeya thought. How pathetic he mused to no one but himself.

So, Kaeya had to spend twice as much time training. Spend twice as long perfecting. Spend twice as long pretending.

Eroch had later turned out to be a traitor. How funny Kaeya had thought. With Eroch gone, and Kaeya’s dedication and hard work still glistening through the rubble, Kaeya had finally been accepted within the knights. But at what cost? They had all sacrificed so much.

Coming back to the present, he walked past Jean and Varka, with a kind greeting and bow of his head. There was a lot of paperwork to do today. He wondered if Timmie was still there yelling at people for disturbing the pigeons. He chuckled to himself, what a strange kid.

Chapter Text

The last few days had been busy, as always. Constantly proving himself amongst the knights, showing that he, Kaeya, was just as worthy of the title as anyone else. Just as worthy as Diluc had been. Kaeya had spent the last few days clearing camp after camp. As captain of the cavalry, Kaeya did his job, and did it well. Kaeya had even spent his own free time on clearing any extra camps and finishing up all the paperwork, some that were meant for the other knights. Yet, it wasn’t enough. 

As Kaeya walked quietly and alone amongst the rising sun, a conversation he had overheard  amongst the knights played in his head. 

“Did you know that Captain DIluc could wipe out an entire camp - Mitachurl and all- in just a minute!” 

“Wow, really? He truly is amazing. Can’t wait for him to come back. We could really use the help!” 

“Oh, hi Captain Kaeya! Didn’t notice you there.” 

No one ever did. For Kaeya had spent every second since he came to Mondstadt being in Diluc’s shadow. Had anyone even known his name, other than being Diluc’s adopted brother? 

Of course, Diluc was, no is, amazing. He was everything Kaeya had dreamt to be. Diluc made his father proud, achieved greatness and perhaps was one of the most capable people in Mondstadt (other than Jean, of course). He had gotten his Vision at a very young age and achieved so much. It was like Kaeya was sitting amongst the skies, getting to watch a star shine right in front of him. 

If someone had told little Kaeya that Diluc made the sun rise, little Kaeya would have surely believed them. Then little Kaeya would have run up to Diluc and asked him about it. Diluc being Diluc would have surely  found some way to make his little brother happy. Kaeya laughed to himself. Hoping the others (those setting up the shops) that were also awake amongst the rising sun didn’t see Kaeya as crazy. 

Speaking of crazy, it had been a few days since Kaeya’s first encounter with the boy who had chosen an unfortunate location for a bird restaurant. Curiously, Kaeya returned to the bridge and the pigeons had too. Kaeya took each step as lightly as he could, hoping not to scare off the pigeons, and saw Timmie once again. 

“See, I told you the pigeons would come back to meet me,” Kaeya laughed walking closer. 

The pigeons flew away in a flock of feathered wings. If Kaeya was hurt, he did not show. 

Timmie had sighed, “The pigeons aren’t here for you, they’re here or they were, for me because -” 

“Yes, yes, they’re your friends,” Kaeya cutted in. 

Timmie stared at Kaeya and went back to throwing the last piece of bread onto a now empty bridge. Timmie sighed, “My mom says that as long as you love the world, animals will not be afraid of you and they will be your friends.” 

Kaeya, ready to reply, quickly paused. How could Kaeya love a world that he does not belong in. A world that did not love him in return. A world that had tried so hard to get rid of him. A world that had abandoned him. A world that had called him, no deemed him, a traitor. 

“I’d rather have the world fear me,” Kaeya said with a snort. 

“Why? So it can’t hurt you anymore?” Timmie retorted. 

Kaeya looked at Timmie in shock, he spluttered, “No, it’s just that- ” 

“Well to me,” Timmie continued, “You sound insecure and …” Timmie begun to list different adjectives on his fingers. Kaeya stood there in a mix of disbelief and shock. 

Timmie looked back at Kaeya (who was now silent and in shock), then Timmie continued, “It just doesn’t make sense to me why someone would want others to be afraid of them. Unless they are just trying to hide their own insecurities or maybe they’re just a scaredy-cat. Or maybe they are just weak and powerless and don’t want anyone to know. Or…” 

Ouch. Even Diluc hadn't roasted him this badly.

Chapter Text

The next day, Kaeya went to visit the pigeons, the early morning sun shining around. There the pigeons had sat, waiting for Timmie. Kaeya quietly went near them, not too close, and brought out the fresh bread and threw pieces of it. The pigeons turned towards him, most flying away. 

All of the pigeons ignored the bread. Ouch. 

“Go figures,” Kaeya muttered, trying to hide the twinge of hurt in his voice. He threw the loaf into the river.

Even the pigeons (pigeons for crying out loud) thought he did not belong. He stared at the ignored piece of bread. What other sign did he need? That the world does not love him, that this world would neer be the home of a traitor. 

Perhaps, he just wanted validation, just a sign. Just something. Anything at all. Anything to tell him that he belonged, that he was loved. That he was cared for. That the world liked Kaeya for just being Kaeya. Just something that told him that there was someone on his side. Now, he sat there alone. He just wanted a little tiny slice of validation.

 Yet the fact that pigeons (Pigeons!!) had ignored him. That hurt a lot. He let out a sad sigh, and made his way towards the Knights of Favonius Headquarters. There was still a lot of work to do. 

Walking into the office, he saw Jean busy at work. A small smile graced his face, he still had Jean. But would she still be there once she learned the truth? Or would she be like Diluc, and leave him broken and hurt? Both she and DIluc had swore their loyalty to Mondstadt.

Of course, he would never tell her. She had been thrown into a field of responsibilities after the truth of Eroch had been discovered. Going from Captain to Master, Jean was now having to deal with so much, and Kaeya would never, could never add to it. Jean didn’t deserve the added stress.

She had been there.

Ever since they were children.

She had been there. 

When Kaeya had just arrived.

When Kaeya had celebrated his birthday (with his first real party).

When Kaeya first joined the knights.

When Kaeya saw life flutter before him, bruised and hurt by the person he had once called brother. She had healed him, questioned him despite already knowing the answer. She had respected Kaeya’s wishes of not letting the world know what Diluc did, what Diluc had done. How could Kaeya ever ask for more, add another secret, add another burden to her already stressful life? How could Kaeya ever burden Jean with the sorrows that surrounded him and his past? 

And so, Kaeya waved with a smile, and Jean waved back. Just by one look, even though she did not show it, Kaeya knew that Jean was very stressed. 

Kaeya felt a strong grasp on his shoulder, and turned, hiding the shock from his face just in time. 

“Hello, my boy!” Varka cheered. 

“Hello Grand Master Varka,” Kaeya replied, trying to hide the shudder in his voice.

Grand Master Varka, Kaeya had always looked up to him. Varka had a very interesting approach to leading the knights, to even life. Organized chaos. Rather than living a planned life, Varka was like the wind, free and going wherever needed. Yet, Kaeya never let down his guard around him. For even a simple breeze could one day turn into a tornado. A simple slip up could lead to Kaeya’s demise. Kaeya definitely did not want to be on Varka’s bad side (if he did have one).  Best not to take any chances. Best not to trust anyone, at least Diluc had taught him that much. 

“Excellent work on the camps there, keep up the good work. Master Crepus and Diluc are so proud of you, I can tell. I am too!” 

“Thank you Grand Master Varka,” Kaeya stuttered.  If only he knew. 

Varka smiled a toothy grin, his gold tooth shining, and patted Kaeya on the back. Then, like the wind, Varka was off, onto another adventure, another expedition, who knew. 

Kaeya made his ways towards the office and began his work. 

“Paperwork, how lovely,” he whispered to himself with a grimace. 

Slowly flipping through paper and paper the morning had turned into the afternoon. Kaeya despised paperwork for it gave his mind time to wander. 

What had his father been thinking as he dragged Kaeya to the new land. He’d relive the days of happiness, when it was him, Master Crepus and Diluc. When the days were filled with joy and hope. He’d relive that horrible day when everything came crashing down. 

Loud knocking brought Kaya's mind back to the present. The door opened with a crash, a frantic knight running in.

“Sir Kaeya,” the knight yelled, and added a salute. 

Before Kaeya could reply, the knight continued, “We need your help, some mages are-”

Kaeya leaped, readying his weapon before the knight could finish, “Where?” Kaeya would never be late ever again. Never again. 

Kaeya raced off as the knight led him. It was exhilarating, plus really nice to be finally freed of paperwork. As they reached the site, Kaeya quickly saw what was happening. Some of the mages had huddled around a citizen and were surrounded by Hilichurls. Kaeya’s mind quickly began to click. 

In a voice so clear, Kaeya declared, distract the Hilichurls, I’ll go for the mages. 

As Kaeya lept to higher ground, he saw sight of the Abyss Mages and charged, not caring to check what element they were. 

As though it was a dance, Kaeya fought the mages in perfect steps. Each strike going where it was meant to. Dodging each of the attacks perfectly (and even getting some of the Hilichurls hit by the mage’s attack). Had it not been such a dire situation, it would have been an amazing show to watch. 

With a final strike the Abyss Mage disappeared and Kaeya let out a sigh. He turned around to surprisingly see the adoration of the knights shining in their eyes, and heard them cheer. A couple of the knights patted him on the back and put their arms around his shoulders. 

“That was amazing Sir Kaeya!” 

“Let’s celebrate with a drink,” one of the knights cheered.
“Ah, I don’t-” 

“Great job Kaeya,” another knight cheered as Kaeya walked alongside them. 

As the sun set, Kaeya’s busy day had once again come to an end. The knights had gone out for drinks, but Kaeya did not,for it reminded him too much of what he had lost. So, Kaeya instead had gone on a walk. Deciding to take a detour to the bridge, he looked towards the water. The piece of bread still floating there, untouched. Even the ducks did not want it. Double ouch. He thought bitterly, Why had he ever thought things would change? How was it possible to be surrounded by people but feel so alone?

No, he told himself, things were now different.

They had to be. 

Chapter Text

Time had continued to tick, and Kaeya was no longer the “new” Calvary Captain, he was the Cavalry Captain. The houses had turned into the homes of his colleagues.

Slowly, he approached the bridge, it had been a little while since Kaeya had last spoken to Timmie and his pigeons. When he arrived, the pigeons had stared at him for a few seconds and flew away in a flock of feathers. Yet, this time, a few had stayed. 

Timmie glared at him. Kaeya forced a laugh, “Guess most of the pigeons are too shy to meet their beloved protector and saviors of Mondstadt.” 

“Actually,” Timmie replied, “I think that pigeons are dragons in another form.” 

“You think dragons are pigeons?” Kaeya said with disbelief. “Kid, I hate to tell you this, but dragons are powerful creatures, pigeons are just…” 

“Yeah, but what about dragons that are hurt and turn into pigeons to get revenge?” Timmie argued. 

Kaeya looked at Timmie with even more disbelief, “You think dragons get hurt and turn into pigeons ?”

Kaeya looked at Timmie who was nodding quickly.

Kaeya continued, “Wouldn’t it be easier to get revenge by, I don’t know, turning into a stronger dragon ?” 

Timmie looked up at Kaeya, and then threw another piece of bread.

“Pain doesn’t always make everyone stronger,” Timmie murmured. 

It made me stronger, Kaeya proudly and oh so desperately thought. Yet did it really? 

The same pain that had fanned Diluc’s flames, had melted Kaeya’s ice. Made him weak. Vulnerable. He shuddered, thinking about the pain from that day. 

“Sir Kaeya, do you think the pigeons will hurt me? Even though I’ve been nice to them?” 

Kaeya looked into the distance, pointedly ignoring the pigeons. Kaeya had been nothing but nice to his brother (well, maybe he had pulled a few mean pranks as a kid) yet Diluc hadn’t hesitated to hurt him. I hadn’t done anything wrong, Kaeya bitterly thought. 

Kaeya noticed Timmie starting at him and laughed, “I don’t think your dragon-pigeons will hurt you.” 

“Oh, right!” Timmie exclaimed, “My mom packed me lunch but there’s too much and I don’t want her to feel bad if I don’t eat it since she worked so hard cooking it. I can’t feed it to the pigeons, so here!  You can have the rest.” Timmie handed Kaeya an unopened box of hashbrowns. 

Kaeya looked at the box, wrapped nicely in a dark green cloth. Kaeya didn’t know what to reply, so he simply stood there, and whispered, “Thank you.” 

Kaeya stood next to Timmie as Timmie threw the bread that the pigeons chased after, no - fought over. And by fight, Kaeya meant fight. Like instead of showing off the Knights of Favonius to ward off any potential Fatui threats, they should just show the pigeons. Kaeya chuckled to himself, imagine that, pigeons. Instead of  perfecting the knights, Varka should just recruit a bunch of pigeons and put breadcrumbs in the Fatui’s pockets. 

Absentmindedly, Kaeya had kicked a crumb, tried to make it look like he didn’t care, yet he tracked the crumb like a hawk and watched as all the remaining pigeons ignored it. Still didn’t hurt any less. 

As Kaeya returned to his house, he didn’t look around. It was a barren place. Just a wooden table that was uneven, with a single creaky chair. The house was void of anything. Quite the contrast from his old home that was filled with the memories of Diluc, Crepus and the maids chasing after the brothers as they caused mayhem. He knew he couldn’t stay there after what had happened. Jean had let him stay with her for a while, but he couldn’t burden her, not after how much she had already helped him. Yet, with his promotion to Calvary Captain, he had enough to live in this small estate. There was no need for him to do much, for he didn’t know how much longer he’d be welcomed here. 

The only thing within his house that held any color, any brightness was the Vision left by Diluc. Even though it had scarred him, he still kept it in a spot where he could always check on it. Check to make sure Diluc was doing alright. He knew that this care was useless, that Diluc didn’t even care about him anymore. Yet, Kaeya still kept the vision, just to make sure he was okay. 

Today, however, when Kaeya entered the room, he wasn't met with a phoenix red glow. Instead, he was met with dull gray Kaeya raced towards it, his heart stopping. He scooped up the once burning vision in his hand, and for the first time, there was no warmth. 

“Oh no,” he whispered, tears beginning to form. He looked closer at the once bright vision and saw  that it was clinging on to a simple speckle of red. 

“Oh Archons,” Kaeya whispered. Part of Kaeya knew that a sinner, a traitor, was in no place to make demands of the world, still, he begged. 

“Please,” he whispered, “Please Diluc, be okay.” 

It was as though time had stopped, if not for a minute, then for a mere second. The dull vision in Kaeya’s hand. A second felt like an eternity and Kaeya’s mind flashed back to a place he did not know, and a place that was all he knew. Khaenri'ah.

Kaeya had been born hundreds of years after the fall of Khaenri'ah. He didn't know what it had once been. However, Kaeya did know what it had become. A barren land without an Archon.

But, what was Kaeya? A boy who had simply grown within the caves. A sinner who hadn’t committed any sins. A boy who had a destiny before he could even dare utter his own name? 

And so, Kaeya prayed to anyone that was listening. Kaeya begged the world to hear his prayers. 

And, it did. Perhaps the Archons heard his prayers, and as time passed Kaeya saw the red slowly return to the vision he clutched in his palms. Kaeya gasped in joy, wiping away the tears. 

“Thank you,” he whispered over and over, again and again as life returned to the vision. He continued whispering his thanks to the Archons, to the world, until he slowly fell asleep.

Chapter Text

Kaeya woke up the next day with the bright red vision warming his palms. Strings of sunlight slowly cracked through the window. “Thank you Barbatos,” Kaeya whispered once again. 

Maybe the Archons hadn’t heard Kaeya’s prayers, perhaps they were just protecting one of their own, yet to Kaeya it did not matter. His brother was safe. Diluc was alive. 

As Kaeya left, he walked with joy in his step. Perhaps the world really was changing. 

Kaeya’s day with the knights went well, exceedingly well. The knights were looking at him, smiling at him. The knights that once refused to look at him, the knights that once ignored him. They were walking with him. Had this been just a sliver of what Diluc’s life had been like? Kaeya was in awe. 

“Great job out there Kaeya,” said a knight. 

“That was amazing! I wish I could do that!” cheered an adventurer. 

“Kaeya.”  Kaeya looked around to see Jean and Varka approaching him. 

“That was remarkable,” Varka commented. 

“Kaeya, that was truly amazing,” Jean smiled. 

Kaeya smiled, a real smile, perhaps the world really had changed. 

Kaeya approached the familiar bridge once again, and met a familiar face once again. Taking each step carefully he walked with a sense of peace. This time, though Kaeya may not have noticed, a few more pigeons stayed. 

“Why do you just stand here for hours feeding pigeons?” Kaeya asked. 

“As long as I bring them food, they’ll never leave me.” Timmie replied, not looking away from the pigeons. 

Kaeya was pretty sure that’s not how friendships worked.

Timmie noticed the confused look. “The birds, they bring me happiness. Without them, I would be alone.” 

“Don’t you have any other friends?” Kaeya questioned. Timmie looked like he was about to reply, until Kaeya quickly added, “I mean like human friends.” Not ones that can turn into Sweet Madames. 

Timmie stood in silence. Minutes later, Timmie murmurs, “The birds are friends with me because I have a use to them. They need me to give them food, so they are my friends.” 

Kaeya knew that was definitely not how friendships worked. Right? 

Timmie continued, “I’m not a good fighter, I’m not a good adventurer and I can’t sing. I don’t know how to write poems. So why? Why would anyone in Mondstadt want to be friends with me?” 

Had Kaeya not felt so bad for the kid, he would have praised him for being honest. Then Timmie said ever so quietly, “Maybe if I was more useful, he wouldn’t have abandoned me.” 

They stood there in silence. 

Kaeya’s mind wandered back to those fateful days he so desperately wanted to forget. Kaeya’s brother had abandoned him. How many months has it been? Has it been a year? Had it been years? The day he left him. The day they left him. Alone and broken. Had Kaeya been stronger, better or faster, perhaps life would have turned out differently. Perhaps his family would have still been whole. 

“Why?” Timmie suddenly asked, bringing Kaeya back from his thoughts. 

Kaeya had a puzzled look, “Why what?” 

“Why are you always here?” 

Kaeya replied, for perhaps one of the first times in his life, a truth from his childhood. “You remind me of myself. I once had a father, he left me. Then, I had a brother who was my best friend. He hasn’t come back for a while. He left me too. Yet, maybe if life had been a little more different, maybe my only “friends'' would be Abyss Mages. I don’t want you to end up alone, with no friends.” I don’t want you to end up like me, Kaeya did not say.  Timmie looked like he was about to argue (the pigeons are my friends! ). 

They stood there in silence. Then, Kaeya’s eyes widened as though he had just realized something. For he did. Fath- Master Crepus.  

Kaeya cleared his voice, “All of us. Every single one of us are here because someone took a chance. Our friends, our families. They took a chance.”

Yet, he did not say anything. Neither of them did. Quietness passed.

Then, Timmie spoke, “Well, actually I know you said friends that aren’t human don’t count, but I have an imaginary ruin guard friend who can take revenge on everyone that hurt the pigeons!” 

Wonderful , Kaeya thought sarcastically. 

“But, I guess it does get lonely,” Timmie murmured.

“Hey, you may not have any friends in Mondstadt,” Kaeya paused, “But you now do have a brother. ” Then, he ruffled Timmie’s hair. To Kaeya’s surprise, Timmie laughed. 

Helping a kid in need and saving Mondstadt from a potential Fatui Harbinger. What a way to (not) kill two birds with one stone. 

Chapter Text

Time turns, twists and transforms just as the world does. Kaeya, who had once been so alone, now had others depending on him. Counting on him. Was the loneliness still there? Yes, it lingered like the icicles of winter. Perhaps forgotten amongst the storm, but still there and growing stronger with every teardrop.

Kaeya had somehow ended up becoming the older brother of Mondstadt. For now it was not only Timmie, but also a young adventurer named Bennett who’d refused to let the world bring him down and a powerful fighter with a heart of gold named Klee. 

Kaeya who had once been missing (and still is - though now he does not admit is) his older brother, was now an older brother himself. 

Yet, today was a different day. Kaeya stood, quietly observing. He stood leaning on the bridge with his armed crossed. The wind raced around a chaotic organization that only one person could control: Varka. 

It was sudden, yet no one could ever control the wind. Varka had decided to go on a journey, taking with him the cavalry and the best of the best. Varka did not take with him a certain blue-haired knight. Truthfully, Kaeya was a little hurt. Without cavalry, what would Kaeya be the captain of? Also, wasn’t Kaeya a pretty good knight? With time, Kaeya had brought together the knights, fixed what had been broken and repaired it into something manageable (if not better).  Though Kaeya did not think much about the red-haired brother anymore, Kaeya still wondered, would Diluc have been chosen to go? 

Jean raced after Varka who was now yelling extravagantly with joy towards the citizens. 

“Grand Master Varka, is there anything else that we must-” 

“Now, now Jean, there is nothing else to worry about. Everything will fall into place.” 

“But Grand Master Varka-” 

“Acting Grand Master Jean, I know you will do a fine job leading Mondstadt in my absence.” 

Then, Grand Master Varka turned towards Kaeya and gestured for him to come forwards, “You, my boy!” Kaeya walked over solemnly, both upset that he wasn’t chosen (once again, Kaeya thought he was a pretty capable knight, he’d worked way too hard to prove himself), but also mad at himself for being a little happy. What? Varka was already scary at his best, Kaeya never wanted to meet him at his worst. Varka got off his horse and patted Kaeya on his back. Kaeya nearly fell but caught himself. 

“Kaeya,” he boomed with a smile. 

“Yes, Grand Master Varka Sir!” Kaeya replied with a salute. Inwardly Kaeya shuddered, why had he added that sir at the end, was that too much? And was the salute too much? 

Though Varka was a nice guy, he caused way too much stress for Kaeya. Though Varka seemed so carefree, Kaeya knew those eyes. Of course Varka had some suspicions. Yet, he did not do much more than ask the mere question to a young Kaeya (that Diluc had immediately saved him from). 

“My boy, take care of Mond when I’m gone, eh? Your mind is something incredible and I know we will be in good hands with you and Jean.” 

“I will! Thank you, Grand Master Varka,” Kaeya announced. 

“Oh, and take care of the kiddos for me,” Varka smiled, ruffling Kaeya’s hair.

“Yes, sir!” Kaeya yelled, as Varka got back onto the horse and began to trot away. Kaeya blinked away any tears that dared to fall. 

Varka trotted his way towards Jean who was now looking over the papers once again. 

“Jean,” he spoke.

“Yes, Grand Master Varka,” she replied.

“We all believe in you,” he chuckled, “Make us proud.” 

“I will Grand Master Varka,” she replied, a small smile on her face. 

“Oh and one last thing, Kaeya, Jean, when Diluc comes back tell him I say hi!” 

If he ever returns Kaeya mused. 

“ Oh and Jean, give him a good ol’ punch from me,” Varka continued, “I still can’t believe he left without telling me,” 

“Well then, I’m off,” Varka yelled as the citizens cheered.  

Varka left singing a song out of tune as the knights on horses followed. 

Kaeya sighed. Even when Diluc was off doing who knows in who knows where, everything still revolved around Diluc. It all started and ended with Diluc. 

Chapter Text

 It had been a few months since Varka had left, which meant it had been a few years since Diluc had left. Time turns, twists, transforms but never ends. Time had slowly but surely passed. The houses had turned into the homes of his friends . Days had turned into memories that he had with his friends and fellow knights.

Of course, some things never changed. Timmie still stood, at the unconventional spot, with his bird restaurant, still feeding the pigeons every day. Yelling at those that scared the birds away. Some things never changed. For each time Kaeya dared to throw (or even kick) a piece of bread the pigeons would ignore it. Kaeya still bore the reminder that perhaps this world would never love him enough. That no matter what he did, he was still a traitor to this world. 

Some things never changed, as despite how surrounded Kaeya was by the love of others, by his friends, the icicle of loneliness still grew. 

Yet, there are changes that some do not notice. For Kaeya did not notice that all of the pigeons would remain seated as Kaeya walked by. 

Timmie too changed as well. Though he still yelled at those that scared his pigeons away, he was no longer alone. He had his older brother, Kaeya, and some new friends that were not pigeons (or a ruin guard, thankfully). 

Klee had begun to love the pigeons and saw their potential. Potential of destruction. 

Potential of a pigeon army to wage war against the fish of Mondstadt.

Of course, under Timmie’s watchful eye, no pigeon was harmed. But one couldn’t say the same about Bennett who would run to the cathedral every now and then. 

Kaeya had been eating lunch, when he noticed Grace walking towards him. After a few talks with Timmie (and finally telling Timmie not to give him his lunch), Kaeya had soon learned that Grace had adopted Timmie and took care of him. Timmie would often worry about being a burden to those around him. Kaeya would have told Timmie that he wasn’t a burden, yet that wasn’t the exact truth. Timmie did indeed block the pathways which was a burden. Kaeya did not lie to Timmie, so instead he explained to Timmie that he was never a burden to Grace, nor to him. 

“Afternoon Sir Kaeya,” 

“Hello Grace, have the “Knights of the Pigeons” attacked the fountain again,” he said with a laugh. 

“No, it’s just that, I wanted to thank you.” 

“For creating an army of pigeons? Why thank you, comes with the job. Can’t be a Cavalry Captain without the cavalry.”

Grace smiled, “No, but what you’ve done for Timmie and the kids, it really means a lot, not just to me but for them as well. I was afraid for Timmie. I don’t know what he would have done without you.” 

“Ah, I don’t know. I didn’t do much. I think he’d still be yelling at people for scaring the pigeons.” Kaeya did not like getting sentimental. 

She laughed, then put a hand on his shoulder, “But really, thank you.” 

Grace left and Kaeya sighed. He truly hadn’t done much, Simply just saw himself as a child once again. He took a chance on someone, just as someone had taken a chance on him. 

“Master Crepus would have been proud,” Kaeya looked up to see Adelinde smiling at him. There were slight wrinkles since the last time he had seen her oh so long ago. He smiled in return, no joke, no witty comment on his tongue, instead, he replied with his voice wavering, “ I hope.” Oh, how he so dearly hoped. 

Maybe, just as his former brother had said, Kaeya had no right to call Mondstadt home, yet here he was. He had picked up the shambles of the ruins, his heart and the captainless knights and turned into a Cavalry Captain, a brother and a friend. Creating homes for those around him from the remains of his heart. So maybe, he couldn’t call Mondstadt his home, but as he looked around, he had created a place to call his own .

 Kaeya Alberich had gotten to a point at which his past no longer haunted him, scars no longer burned like the sun, but rather like a candle, dim. 

Or atleast, 

That was, until he returned. 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

It had been raining when he met him again for the first time. A figure that raced through the night, scarlet hair and a face hidden by a mask. 

The figure attacked monsters, defending the streets with ease and precision. 

Of course. Of course Kaeya would recognize his brother no matter what. Of course. 

Kaeya stood there silently as shock and sentiment appeared on his face. Emotions flooded him, yet Kaeya stood there still and frozen. 

Just as he had all those years ago.

“Luc, please! I don’t want to fight.” Kaeya had yelled all those years ago, his voice barely audible through the storm and Diluc’s anger. 

Kaeya did not want to fight, but Diluc did. And then, the phoenix came. Blazing towards him. Kaeya had stood there still and frozen, and accepting of his fate. Then, the Vision had come, frozen and shielding and Kaeya had survived. 

Kaeya was brought back to the present as he watched the figure fight. The figure had been too busy to notice Kaeya, and that was for the best. For the figure brought with it a cruel reminder. Unlike Kaeya Ragnvindr, Kaeya Alberich was living on borrowed time. 

For that figure brought with him a cruel reminder, and a warning, for if that figure decided, Kaeya could lose what he had fought so hard to get in seconds. 

Kaeya’s heart raced in patterned sadness. 

Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor.

Diluc POV 

With the town bustling and murmuring about a new hero, Diluc returned home without much attention. He was a droplet of water in a river; a firework in the sun. 

Returning to Dawn Winery brought a sweet sense of comfort yet a sickly reminder of what had happened. Paths turned, but bridges, bridges, they burned. And so, when Diluc saw his little brother again for the first time, he watched from afar. It was rather sunny that day. 

Guilt, bits of anger (mostly towards himself) and a flood of relief bubbled and swirled. He thanked the Archons that Kaeya was okay. If only he knew. He had heard that Kaeya was captain of the knights now, and even though Diluc despised the knights he once led, there was still a sense of pride. That is, or was, his little brother. His little brother had fixed what he had broken. Mended what he had missed. 

He saw as Kaeya led the knights through a camp, quickly they had defeated the camp, Kaeya leading the way. An easy smile on his face, a glimmer in his eyes. Kaeya had clearly done well without him. Diluc sighed, and turned around. Angel’s Share would need to open soon. 

Diluc walked across the bridge, lost in thought. “Hey! You scared all my pigeons away!” Yelled a boy, tears seemingly about to form in his eyes. Diluc simply glared at the boy and continued to walk. 

Angel’s Share was filled tonight, with talks of victory, with laughter and with cheer. It seemed to be a good day to celebrate. 

Diluc sighed, glaring as a few more knights walked in. They should have been busy working, yet here they were.

 Diluc's gaze quickly skimmed for hints of blue hair amongst the crowd walking in. Yet, there was none. As nightfall spread, it was time for Diluc to disappear and for the new hero of Mondstadt to appear. 

“Charles.” Diluc spoke, not needing to say anymore. Handing things off to Charles, Diluc slipped away from the tavern, unnoticed. 

Kaeya POV

Of course, he hadn’t noticed a certain blue-haired Calvary Captain watching his every move. With the knights celebrating, Kaeya knew that the city was at ease. This was not always a good thing.

The Treasure Hoarders had slowly begun their operations as the city rested. Though, like the curiosity that drove the moth to the lantern, Kaeya was too curious to see how his former brother would react. Of course, birds of a feather flock together, and so, Kaeya knew Diluc would be arriving soon. Kaeya, perched and hidden on the roof, watched, two Visions in tow. As if right on cue, Diluc arrived with a dash of energy. The hero quickly raced towards the Treasure Hoarders, and stopped them with ease. Diluc was a former Cavalry Captain after all. Kaeya smiled softly. Tonight, the city was safe, thanks to the hero. Thanks to his brother. Kaeya slipped away, the moonlight on his side. 

Diluc POV

“I’m back,” Diluc grumbled to Charles, who was now closing up the tavern. Cleaning a final glass, he replied, “Welcome back, Master Diluc. A package arrived, noted for you.” 

Diluc looked at the package, which was wrapped rather horribly. He looked at the package and brought it towards  his office and ripped away the parchment paper. There it lay, a bright red glimmer of hope, and a lava flow of memories. Diluc grasped his Vision in his gloved palms. Guess he wouldn’t be needing the Delusion anymore. 

“Charles, do you know who we can thank for the package?” Diluc asked (perhaps already knowing the answer) as he walked down the stairs. 

“Haven’t got a clue,” Charles replied, “I looked away for a second and as soon as I looked back, there it was.” 

“Thank you, Charles,” Diluc said. Thank you Kaeya , he reminisced to the wind.

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

Time continues to walk and tick. Days turn into nights. Sunsets turn into sunrises.  Yet, the two brothers stood, the furthest they had ever been. Not a single piece of wood was placed to fix the burning bridge. Not a droplet of water spared. Just distance that had lasted for more than a few days. 

When Kaeya had seen Diluc again for the first time, his world had stopped. Yet now, he walked past Diluc, no eye contact, no smile, simply as though he wasn’t there. Yet, Kaeya’s mind raced with fear. If Diluc told them then Kaeya would- no, when Diluc told them. 

Kaeya walked as the sun was rising once again. 

“Good morning, Sir Kaeya,” cheered a knight on patrol. 

“Good morning,” Kaeya replied with a smile. 

As he walked towards the shop, Kaeya was greeted with a smile. Kaeya picked up the first and freshly baked bread and waved as he walked away. Perhaps Kaeya’s world was still frozen, yet this world that he was in now, wasn’t. And this world was filled with hungry pigeons and a little brother who was in need of pigeon food. Kaeya walked towards the bridge and stood there waiting for Timmie. Kaeya noticed as a few of the pigeons scattered away with a flap of wings. He slowly picked at a piece of the bread and tossed it aside. To his surprise, a pigeon glared at it.

Walked towards it...

Then… 

Turned around.

Had Kaeya not paid for the bread, he would have tossed it into the river. Kaeya sighed. This world was definitely interesting, interestingly mean. How could pigeons be so cruel? 

“Thank you Brother Kaeya!” Timmie called, running towards him. The pigeons excitedly flapped their wings and welcomed Timmie’s arrival. The few that had flown away, now quickly returned. 

“Not a problem,” Kaeya replied, handing Timmie the freshly baked bread. It was at times like this, when the sun dared to peak at dawn, promising another day, that Kaeya would grow sentimental. Oh, how he missed the days when he and his older brother would try to wake up before the sun. No, he wasn’t thinking about him anymore. Diluc was simply a remnant of his past. Nothing more, nothing less. A voice brought him out of his thoughts, “Catch!” 

Kaeya grabbed the bread mere seconds before it could hit the ground.

“Thanks,” he replied, biting the bread,

“That’s not for you, it’s for the pigeons!” Timmie remarked. 

Kaeya glared at the pigeons, “I think they have more than enough to eat.” 

“You glare like him,” Timmie replied nonchalantly. 

“Who?” Kaeya asked. Was someone being mean to Timime? 

“The grumpy guy, with red hair. Klee talks about him too.” 

“Oh, Diluc.” Kaeya replied solemnly. There weren’t many grumpy redheads. 

Suddenly, all of the pigeons flew away in a flutter. Kaeya looked up, shocked. He saw talons clutched on a lamppost. Kaeya turned his head in confusion. The thing, the creature, as if on cue, mimicked him, albeit turning its entire head 90 degrees.

Kaeya looked back disturbed and shuddered.

“Hey! That thing scared away my pigeons!” Timmie cried. 

Kaeya patted Timmie’s head, “Don’t worry, I think it’s only here to visit Mondstadt's greatest Cavalry Captain. I have fans from all over Teyvat, you know?” 

Kaeya then raised his gloved hand and waved at the scary bird. The bird looked at him and cooed in something Kaeya thought was close to recognition or some sort of affection. Kaeya's heart skipped a beat and he looked at the bird. Realization dawned on him. 

The Mondstadt Pigeon Lover Association (now having a proper name) sat together pondering for a solution to their new guest. 

“Let’s send the pigeons after it!” Klee yelled. 

“No! The pigeons are afraid of it. Besides, it's probably just lonely, and maybe it will be gone soon.” Timmie replied. 

It was morning when Kaeya walked by the bridge again. Timmie was standing there, as always, throwing food, as always. However, unlike always, there was no pigeon to be found. 

“Ah, so it seems our little friend is still here,” Kaeya replied, gesturing to the weird hawk thing. 

“Yes, and it scared away all the pigeons. I knew they would leave me,” Timmie replied, voice wavering ever so slightly.
“Hey, don’t say that! They’ll be back.”

“No, they won’t as long as it is here.” Timmie . 

The weird falcon thing fluttered its wings, unaware (or aware) that it was being talked about. 

“I feel bad for it,” Timmie continued, “I don’t think it knows that it’s scaring my friends away,” Timmie sniffled. 

 Though Kaeya did not admit it, he had a pretty good idea what that bird was. Or specifically, who it belongs to. 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

The visitor (or perhaps a meticulously placed spy from Diluc) had arrived and it still had not left. So, Kaeya had to come to a conclusion that he was avoiding: the weird bird thing was not in fact, here for a visit. It had now been there for almost a week. Definitely overstayed its welcome. 

Kaeya knew how to fix this problem, but it meant talking to a certain redhead that he had been avoiding for days on end. He looked at the weird eagle once again and sighed. The weird eagle thing looked right back. Kaeya shuddered, the morning sun now beginning to shine. Actually, no, he would wait until this evening, then check again. He really really did not want to talk to Diluc. As he left, he silently prayed that the weird falcon would suddenly decide to pick up a new hobby (other than bird, or perhaps Kaeya watching). Kaeya looked at the weird bird as he walked away. 

Kaeya’s heart stung, Diluc really really hated him. Diluc did not trust him at all. Why else would he have sent a spy. Why did every single good thing that happened to Kaeya come to an end? Perhaps that was the price to pay for a sinner. For a traitor. 

Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor. 

Kaeya shook his head, it was too early to be thinking like this. Kaeya prayed that there would not be too much paperwork today. 

The Mondstadt Pigeon Lover Association sat pondering. 

“Maybe I can stand next to it, it’ll sense my luck and fly away?” Bennett laughed.

Klee stared at the bird, “Maybe we can tell it to go after the fish instead?” 

“Maybe we can find a new home for the pigeons?” Timmie murmured.

“But what if the bird comes looking for them?” Bennett asked 

“Hmm.” 

This was a tricky problem. 

Kaeya walked towards the bridge, the evening sun shining as the afternoon turned into the evening. He prayed that the weird falcon had found a new hobby, he was really hoping that he wouldn’t have to talk to the former Cavalry Captain that he had once called brother. Yet, his hopes were crushed as he saw the weird bird sitting there. It stared at him and cooed. Kaeya shuddered, yet as he looked and saw Timmie throwing the bread to an empty street, his soul was crushed. He watched as he saw remnants of tears. He had to do this, for him, for his little brother. The brother that he had now. 

So, he walked up to Timmie, and patted his head. “Hey Timmie. I think I know how to fix this.” 

They made their way to Angel’s Share. Kaeya’s entire mind felt weak, the world around him dizzy as he took more steps towards the tavern. He hadn’t stepped foot in this building for a while. Would refuse to. How long had it been since he had last stepped foot in here? He moved his hands towards the door begging, no praying, that it would be locked, or atleast Charles would be there. Then he could leave a message and then leave. Yet, the word does not listen to the prayers of a sinner. 

Luckily for Timmie, and unluckily for Kaeya, Diluc was there. 

Kaeya’s heart raced. Memories came racing back. 

The redhead, too busy cleaning the glass to look up, spoke, “We’re not open yet, please come back in 20 minutes.” 

Kaeya’s throat was dry, he could hear his heart thundering in his ears. Kaeya heard his brother’’s voice again for the first time. How many years? The last time Kaeya had heard Diluc’s voice, it had been filled with rage, with venom. 

Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor. 

He felt dizzy. This time, the voice did not know who the speaker was, and it was void of any emotion. Kaeya knew that this would not be the case for too long.  Yet Kaeya did not stir, for his world was once again frozen.

Timmie tugged on Kaeya’s sleeve. Kaeya’s mind awoke again and he blinked. He was at Angel’s Share, looking at the person he had once called brother. Kaeya blinked. Kaeya would imagine so many times what he would say to Diluc once he returned. He had daydreamed of what would happen, what he would have said. Over and over his mind would ponder, as he missed Diluc. In some worlds, Diluc would hug him, Diluc would accept Kaeya’s apology and would talk about how he had missed him so much. They would call each other brothers again and all would be well. In other worlds, Diluc would attack him at first sight, not caring. In this world, the real world (not the imaginary ones that he would spend hours in) Kaeya paused.  Ah, he had no clue on how to speak to Diluc. Timmie, however, did. 

“Mister, your friend is scaring away my friends.” 

Diluc looked away from the glass, first at Timmie, then at his former brother. His eyes widened and Diluc nearly dropped the glass. Then, Diluc glared at them (specifically Kaeya) and any hint of confusion (of guilt) was hidden by the anger in his eyes. 

Timmie quickly hid begin Kaeya, grabbing his hand. If only Timmie knew that Kaeya was even more afraid of the wine tycoon. 

Kaeya looked at the one he had once called brother, then Kaeya looked down at the brother her had now, the ice around his mind shattered. 

Kaeya mustered up his mask and grinned. 

“Ah, like my brother here was saying,” Kaeya started, drawing out the word brother and noticed that Diluc grasped the glass a little tighter. Kaeya’s eye sparkled, a teasing smile on his face. Oh, was Diluc jealous? Did Diluc still care? Kaeya watched as Diluc tried not to show any sign of emotion. A moment passed. 

“So, as my little brother was saying,” he paused, he was enjoying this, “you need to keep your vulture on a leash.” He heard Timmie snicker. 

Diluc’s eyes lit with recognition, oh so that’s what this is about. Quickly his eyes hardened, then, he simply looked towards the table suddenly entranced by a stain in the wood. 

“Not a vulture,” Diluc replied, voice monotone.

“Oh, right, right. Luc, please keep an eye on your overgrown chicken.” The old nickname slipped out of Kaeya’s mouth without much thought. Kaeya realized in shock .He shouldn’t have said that. The mask stayed on and Kaeya chuckled. He was okay. Even if he wasn’t he could pretend to be. Hearing Kaeya quietly chuckle seemed to have enraged the redhead. Can’t someone pretend to be happy in peace Kaeya thought to himself. 

“Not,” Diluc seethed, slamming the cup onto the table a little (or a lot) louder than necessary. He continued, his voice growing angrier, “an overgrown chicken.” Kaeya’s eye widened in fear for a mere second, then it glazed over. 

“Ah, of course, apologies Diluc, can you please put your seagull in a-” 

Diluc slammed his fist on the counter, the glass now falling down, and a flicker of a flame. Diluc scowled, clearly annoyed, “Leave. This tavern is for customers only.” 

Timmie let out a startled gasp and Kaeya had quickly stepped forward with a protective arm in front of his little brother. For a split second, Kaeya had flinched and fear gnawed around him. The scars that were healing now burned.He hoped Diluc hadn’t noticed.  He hid it quickly as soon as he saw the fear in Timmie’s eye. 

Kaeya looked at Timmie, then at his former brother. Quickly changing the mood he fixed his facade that had almost broke. He loudly quipped, “Well, it looks like we’re not welcomed here. Let’s take our business elsewhere, Timmie. Perhaps the Cat’s Tail will lend us a hand, or a paw .” 

Diluc, who had seemingly ignored him, continued, “Oh, and Sir Kaeya , it is Master Diluc now.” Less venom than before (still there though) but the words tore straight through Kaeya’s heart. A tear almost formed as Kaeya’s smile faltered for a mere second. 

Kaeya’s cape swished as he quickly turned around and ushered the boy out of the tavern. A few customers walking in as the evening began. 

The blue haired captain turned for a second and waved a hand in farewell, “Have a lovely evening, Master Diluc. ” 

The door closed with a quiet slam.

… 

Kaeya and Timmie walked silently away from the tavern. 

“Ah, sorry about that, Timmie. I forgot how much Master Diluc-” Kaeya strained, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. Trying to stop any tears from falling. 

“No need to say sorry,” Timmie mumbled, “It’s not your fault.” 

Kaeya let out a sad sigh, not knowing if he could speak something without tears falling. If only they knew how much Kaeya deserved it. How it was Kaeya's fault. Kaeya’s hope had been crushed years ago. But why did it still hurt so much? Why did it hurt so much, thinking about what could have been? The way Diluc had looked at him, the way that the flames had scared him. He shuddered at the pain of memeories that had gnawed at him moments ago. Kaeya pouted, maybe he should have kept Diluc’s Vision and sold it. 

They walked in silence for a little while.

“Um, Sir Kaeya?” Timmie asked quietly as they walked.
“Yes?” Kaeya replied, trying to hide the pain out of his voice. 

“We’re not actually going to send a cat after the bird, right?” 

A smile appeared as Kaeya excessively mused, “I don’t know. Diona could use some target practice.” 

Kaeya continued walking and didn’t notice that Timmie had stood there with a horrified expression on his face. 

Kaeya looked around and laughed loudly.

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

Diluc’s day had been like many of his other days ever since he had returned to Mondstadt. Though he did not admit it, his days were, well, lonely. 

Father had been gone, and Diluc knew that. But, he hadn’t expected it. Jean, who was too busy with her work, didn’t even talk to him outside of polite conversation (that seemed rather forced). Jean was definitely stressed, Diluc sighed. If only the knights weren’t so incapable.  

Then, his mind began to wander. He hadn’t expected how lonely Mondstadt would have been without his brother by his side. No, not his brother. The traitor who had disguised himself as a brother. Diluc had no family in Mondstadt. Not anymore. Since that day, the day when Diluc had raised a sword against the person he had sworn to protect, promised to his father to protect, the one that was once his twin. 

The one that had lied about everything. Yet, Diluc knew, and ignored, a voice that spoke like a melancholic melody in his heart:

The only one lying here is you, Diluc. You’re lying to yourself. 

DIluc nearly shattered the glass as he thought about it. No, no, no. Kaeya was the liar.

But what did he lie about? 

Everything. 

What exactly?

Nothing. 

Other than a few pranks when they were kids, what exactly had Kaeya done wrong? Other than being born to a destiny he could not control. A fate he did not write.

No, Kaeya lied about everything. Kaeya wasn’t a good person. He was simply a traitor, waiting for the best time to strike. He was manipulating everyone. If only they could see that too. Mondstadt were fools, just as he and his father had been. 

How much of their childhood was a lie?

How many smiles were fake? 

Sometimes, fake smiles are done, not viciously, but simply to hide the pain. 

How much pain was Kaeya in. No, Kaeya was a traitor. It was all fake. Like a baobab seed that would infect its roots into the soil. Drain water away from the roses. Destroy the world. One that would tear Teyvat apart. 

How many tears were hidden? 

The door of Angel’s Share chimed, and Diluc, too busy (and perhaps trying to blink away his own tears), did not look up from the glass. Instead, he replied, “We’re not open yet, please come back in 20 minutes.” 

He waited, expecting to hear the door chime again, this time the guest leaving, but he did not. Before curiosity, and another sterner reminder, could take place, he heard a small voice.

“Mister, your friend is scaring away my friends.” 

Diluc looked away from the glass and his eyes met the glare of a small boy, who was clutching an all too familiar hand, his eyes widened as he stared at the Cavalry Captain, the one he once called brother.  Guilt that he had not expected coursed through him. 

The glass nearly fell from his hand as he quickly tried to hide the shock to scare away the guilt. This wasn’t his brother. It never was his brother. It was a traitor who had worn masks and manipulated their- no his father’s kindness. 

As his eyes met Kaeya’s Diluc swore he saw a hint of fear, and maybe a glimmer of hope and maybe some guilt? A second later it was gone. Diluc blinked, why would a traitor feel guilt. Nope, he had imagined it. The melancholic melody was trying to weaken him, just as Kaeya had done for years. Kaeya was a master manipulator after all. 

Then, a grin appeared on Kaeya’s face and Diluc knew that there was no guilt in the Cavalry Captain’s eye. 

Or is it a mask to hide the pain? I know that look, it’s when Kaeya used to pretend. When Kaeya used to pretend to be okay. 

His mind raced back to a time that had been much better. 

They were children again. The world at their palms, the sky made of dreams, the clouds made of hopes. 

Little Kaeya was chasing after him, a branch in his hand as they ran. 

Diluc looked behind him, little Kaeya could not run very fast. So, Diluc slowed down. 

As they were running (or Diluc speed-walking, he would proudly note), Kaeya fell onto the grass, the branch snapping in half. 

Diluc quickly raced back to his little brother.

“Kae, Kae, are you okay?” 

Kaeya looked at him, tears beginning to form and sniffled. 

“Luc, I broke the sword,” he cried, picking up the branch that was now split into two. 

“Kae, it’s okay, don’t cry,” he had whispered, attempting to wipe away the other’s tears. 

“But,” Kaeya had stuttered, “You won’t want to play with me anymore, then I will be alone.” 

“No,” Diluc had cried, “why would you say something like that?” 

“Everyone else…” 

“What do you mean?” Diluc had asked, trying to hide the anger out of his voice. 

Kaeya’s looked in shock. Then, Kaeya quickly stopped crying, wiping away his tears, “Oh, it’s nothing!” 

As always, as soon as Kaeya let something slip, he would put on a mask. A facade of laughter.

As always, Kaeya would smile, his toothy smile and change the topic. 

As always Kaeya would hide the pain.  

“Let’s race back home! I bet I will win again!” Kaeya laughed while getting up. 

They started running back home, and Diluc let Kaeya win, as always . 

Diluc whisked away his thoughts. Kaeya was just being a fake, a liar. It was all part of his manipulative scheme to make himself seem innocent. Kaeya was an evil manipulator. It was a part of evil scheming Kaeya’s schemes. Yes, that was right. If only Diluc had caught him earlier. 

His eyes glared, partly to stop the thoughts, mainly because of anger. How dare he? How dare the manipulator, the traitor show up at his tavern. How dare the monster step into his father’s tavern, his father’s legacy. After all he had done. After all who had done? 

Kaeya’s annoying voice that he refused to admit that he missed dearly began to speak. “Ah, like my brother here was saying.” 

He hadn’t heard that voice for years.

Wait. What? Brother?? Though unintentionally, Diluc clutched the glass in his hand. The glass close to breaking. Diluc’s eyes hardened. He didn’t care. 

“So, as my little brother was saying… you need to keep your vulture on a leash.” 

What? Diluc looked at his brother in confusion, what vulture? He heard his former brother’s new brother laugh. 

Wait, then he realized, his eyes lit with recognition. Perhaps the only one he could truly call family. The bird that he had found, the one that had joined him. The one that had stayed loyal to him. The bird that was definitely not a vulture. He felt anger rising, offended on behalf of his friend. It was funny, how the traitor would dare call his loyal companion a vulture. Or was he looking for a reason to be mad? No, Diluc would not be angry. His eyes hardened.  

He sighed inwardly, and looked at a stain on the wood. “Not a vulture,” he simply stated. Being emotionless was better than being angry. 

Of course, Kaeya knew how to make him angry.

“Oh, right, right. Luc, please keep an eye on your overgrown chicken.” 

Diluc’s eyes widened. Luc. That old nickname. That old name. The memories. Diluc’s world slowly came to a pause, and a memory came tunneling back. 

It had been a few days since a boy (Diluc’s age) named ‘Kaeya’ had arrived. Father wouldn’t let Diluc meet him; Adelinde and father had discussed in full agreement. Something related to how Diluc was too energetic and rambunctious and ‘would scare the poor thing’. Whatever that meant. 

This guest had been stressing out the maids:

“It’s been a few days but he is barely eating anything.” 

“Poor boy.” 

“He won’t even speak.” 

Diluc hid behind the corridor waiting for the door to open, he watched one of the maids leave and quickly snuck into the room before the door could close. 

There in the guest room, was a bed, the table next to it filled with medicine and bandages. However, the bed was empty. There nestled on the ground, a small blanket wrapped around him sat a boy with blue hair. Diluc looked at him as the boy shivered. A frail boy, who looked too cold and too afraid. His eyes were met with a sea of blue. Little Diluc ran towards the boy, ready to shake his hand (father said to always shake the hand of new acquaintances - first impressions were important). 

The boy flinched backwards, looking at him with shock. Diluc looked at him confused. He wanted to tell the boy, that’s not how you make a good first impression, let me teach you! 

But he didn’t say that. No, for little Diluc saw the fear in his eyes, and something stirred deep within his soul. 

So instead, he crouched next to the boy, his voice merely a whisper.

“Hello, my name is Diluc. What is yours?” Of course, Diluc already knew the answer (Kaeya the maids had whispered, Kaeya his father had said). Diluc just wanted to be polite. 

“I’m kay,” the boy whispered, flinching. I’m okay , the boy had tried to say. In another world, the world where the boy came from, being anything but okay meant weakness. Being anything other than okay meant he was broken. Needing help was not right. Kaeya shivering, pained and freezing was not broken. So Kaeya had to be okay, all the time. Of course, Diluc did not know that, for before this time, they had walked different lives. 

So instead, Diluc laughed and smiled a toothy smile, a gap in his smile where a tooth was growing. “Kae? That’s a nice nickname!” 

The boy looked at him confused. Diluc realized. “Me,” he said pointing to himself, “Diluc.” 

The boy opened his mouth and tried to whisper, nothing was heard. 

Diluc faltered- his name wasn’t that difficult to say, was it? Then quickly smiled again, not to hurt the boy’s feelings, “Wait actually since you have a super cool nickname, I’ll have one too.” 

“Call me Luc!” He smiled, pointing to himself again. 

“Lu?” The boy whispered.

“Close, try again, Luc!” 

“Luc?” the boy questioned. 

Diluc cheered and leaped, “Yes, that’s right! You did it! I’m Luc!” 

The boy smiled, his first real smile, “Luc!” he cheered, proud of himself. 

“That’s right! Kae, do you want to hear about how to run a successful wine business?” 

Unbeknownst to DIluc, Kae as a matter of fact had no clue what wine was, what a business was, and how to run one.

However, the blue haired boy smiled and cheered, “Yes Luc !” 

Present Diluc’s heart dared to shatter. That nickname, those memories. Anger overwhelmed him, so did guilt. He heard Kaeya chuckle, how dare he? How dare the person he once called brother be so free, act like nothing had happened. Act like his world hadn’t come crashing down. Act like nothing had happened. 

Taking out his anger on the closest item, which was the glass he was holding, he slammed it onto the table.  “Not,” he seethed anger, daring to overtake him, “an overgrown chicken.” 

Kaeya’s looked at him with shock and had Diluc not been so angry, he would have been hurt at the fear he saw. 

“Ah, of course, apologies Diluc, can you please put your seagull in a-” 

The nickname was now gone. Diluc was hurt but did not admit it. Instead, anger bubbled and before Diluc could stop himself.

Diluc slammed his fist on the counter, the glass nearly shattering as it fell, Diluc’s vision heated and he felt warmth on his palms. Diluc hissed, “Leave. This tavern is for customers only.” 

In mere seconds, Kaeya had stood in front of Timmie, a protective arm. 

As Diluc looked at his former brother, he saw. Deep within Kaeya’s eye, there was fear.

The same fear that had been there, that night, all those years ago. Diluc looked at the now dying flame, he had sworn, after that day, that he would never use a flame against his brother, yet here he was. 

He looked at the way the blue haired captain looked at him with so much fear. His soul shattered. I’m sorry. 

Kaeya, always when something would happen instead of facing problems, changed the topic. 

Well, it looks like we’re not welcomed here. Let’s take our business elsewhere Timmie. Perhaps the Cat’s Tail will lend us a hand, or a paw .”

Don’t say it, don’t say it. 

 “Oh, and Sir Kaeya , it is Master Diluc now.” 

The way Kaeya had looked at him, the mere second of pain was all that Diluc needed to know. 

Diluc watched as his former brother’s cape swished as he ushered the boy out of the tavern. A few customers began pooling in, but Diluc paid them no mind, his eyes looking at the one he once called brother as he walked away. 

The captain turned around, “Have a lovely evening, Master Diluc .” 

Diluc huffed a breath. The look of his brother, the pain that had been there as clear as day. It was clear: any chance of absolution was gone now. Part of him wanted to chase after him, but his feet stayed planted. He watched the door close with a quiet thud.

Diluc watched them go, as his heart shattered. It had been way too much. To see his former brother again. To hear his voice again. To talk to his former brother again (though it was not much of a conversation). 

His emotions had come in like a storm, there were bottles of regret, canisters of anger, pints of sadness and barrels of guilt. Diluc wanted to yell, to call him back, but instead he stood there pathetically. He sulked, when had Kaeya gotten a new brother? 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

 Like the wind, words would fly and soar. A couple of the bar-goers had sworn that they saw a blue-haired Cavalry Captain getting yelled at moments before the bar opened by the owner. They had just caught him leaving. Or so they had said. 

Of course,  some did not believe it. Those that did not know the past of the once brothers. Why would Sir Kaeya be talking to Master Diluc? Sir Kaeya does not even drink (his fellow knights had worked very hard to convince Sir Kaeya, yet he had refused). He refused to let the memories sit and age like the wine in the cellars. 

 Others that used their sense of logic - it’s a bar after all! They probably mixed up people - could have been the bard (that Diluc was known to scold for not paying his bills). 

Wine had washed away the conversations. All of the conversations. By morning the rumors had already been forgotten by the entire town, except for a certain someone who had seen Kaeya leaving with a dejected look on his face. 

Kaeya walked into work the next day tired and on the verge of tears. Had he stayed up all night crying? Perhaps. Of course, he hoped that no one could tell.

Just as Master Diluc could not tell. For  Master Diluc could not tell that the Cavalry Captain was thought of as the universal older sibling of Mondstadt. That everyone would look at Kaeya as the older brother that would always be there. And Kaeya, well he would always do whatever he could to help. He’d never admit it though, but Kaeya would run to the ends of Teyvat to help his younger siblings. If only Kaeya knew how much his siblings (both present and former) cared for him. How much Mondstadt cared for him. 

As Kaeya sat there in the early morning, everything was normal, except for a certain Acting Grand Master who looked at him with sympathy in her eyes. 

Kaeya sat hunched over his desk, paperwork how lovely , when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up and his eyes met with Jean’s. 

“Acting Grand Master Jean,” Kaeya replied, a fake smile ready, a mask on his face. Yet, his words had betrayed him. 

Yet, there were not many things that would go unnoticed by Jean, though busy, she noticed everything.

“No need to be so formal Sir Kaeya,” she laughed, exaggerating the “sir” to make a point.

Kaeya smiled, “Apologies Jean,” 

Then her tone became serious, and sympathy glazed within her eyes. 

“Kaeya, are you okay?” Kaeya looked up at her, and he worried that for a split second Jean saw the mask crumble. The teary eyed look from their childhood. Kaeya had always tried to hide the fact that he had been crying ever since they were children. He had done a pretty good job at hiding, he mused to himself. 

“Yes, I’m okay.” He quipped, and he smiled a little too quickly, a little too softly. It was believable right?  She looked at Kaeya for another second, and the facade he carefully placed nearly crumbled. He quickly changed the subject, “Enough about that, did you hear about how I took down an entire camp in under two minutes. I think a raise would be in order” 

A grin on his face, and Jean laughed, “What would you do with all that mora?” 

Kaeya laughed and mused with exaggeration, “I could buy a new house or some books to read, maybe start a bakery.”

 “You know what, I’ll think about it. Apologies but I just remembered that I have something to do.” Jean smiled, albeit a little forced.

“No worries,” Kaeya laughed, waving a hand, “Have a great day Jean!”

“You too, Kaeya!” 

Had Jean not known him her entire life, perhaps she would have been fooled. Yet, with one look at his eyes, Jean knew. She knew what needed to be done. 

Diluc POV 

Diluc had expected many things from his return to Mondstadt. He expected to feel the guilt. He expected the awkwardness from the person he had once called brother. 

Yes, he did think that things that had happened with Kaeya yesterday had gone worse than expected. But it was Kaeya’s fault wasn’t it? Diluc didn’t go marching to his office to talk about things that did not matter. Diluc didn’t walk to the Knights of Favonius Headquarters to bother Kaeya while he was at work. Diluc sighed with a hint of jealousy, plus Kaeya had a new brother to bother now. It was for the best. 

However, in general, what he hadn’t expected was how Jean reacted. Or specifically, her lack of reaction. Actually, Jean basically acted like he didn’t exist. 

Jean was still Jean, though now the Acting Grand Master. Polite smiles and general acknowledgement. Yet, deep within that mixture of forced politeness and a ghost of a smile there was anger that even Diluc did not understand. Sure, he had left unannounced, but what else. Was Jean upset that he left, leaving her to clean up the mess that called themselves the Knights of Favonius? He scrubbed the glass, his mind in thought. If only he knew the answer had been right in front of him hours ago. 

As luck would have it, Diluc would receive his answer very soon as the door opened to reveal Jean. 

Before he could even utter, we are closed , he looked and paused. 

“Jean,” Diluc spoke stunned. 

“Diluc,” Jean spoke, her voice void of any emotion. 

“Jean, I-” 

“Has Kaeya been here?” Jean demanded, her voice unwavering. 

“Yes, he was here annoying me yesterday, but what makes you ask?” Diluc replied, confused. “Was he slacking off during work? Jean, I’m so sorry about the insolent knight that I once sadly called brother. I’ll never let him into this tavern ever again.” Diluc quickly promised. He inwardly smiled, he had an excuse to not have to talk to him anymore. 

He looked at Jean, and cleared his throat, “Jean, how, how have you been-?” Though happy to see Jean again, Diluc was puzzled. Why was she acting like this? 

Jean pinched the bridge of her nose, then let out a huff of air. Then, she stared into Diluc’s eyes, and Diluc shuddered. 

“Diluc,” Jean said sternly, “Diluc, what in the world is wrong with you?” 

Diluc stepped back shocked, nearly dropping the glass he was cleaning.  In his entire life, in his entire time knowing Jean (which was basically his entire life), he had never seen her this upset. 

Jean watched him and after he had stood there quietly, his mouth agape, unknowing what to say, she continued. A glare in her eyes. 

“You know, I really thought that maybe I was wrong. Actually, I prayed that I would be wrong.” Jean said, whilst pacing in a circle. “I tried so hard. I told myself, ‘Jean, you are probably wrong. Diluc would never do that. It’s all a big misunderstanding.’”  She hissed. 

“And you know what, I was. Master Diluc, I was wrong about you.” She stopped pacing and then stood in front of Diluc, her eyes piercing into his. “You’re even worse than I could have ever imagined.” 

Diluc looked at her, his mind shocked. “Jean, I don’t understand. What are you talking about?” 

“It’s not what I’m talking about, it’s who .” Jean replied. 

Diluc’s eyes widened in understanding. Kaeya, it all tied back to Kaeya. 

“Jean, you don’t understand-” 

“Oh, no Diluc, I understand.” Jean quickly snapped. 

“Jean, respectfully, you- you weren’t there.” 

“No, Diluc, you weren’t there.” Jean whispered venom in her tone. 

Jean spoke, her voice clear yet on the verge of breaking, “Diluc, you weren’t there as I found him all those years ago, grasping on to life. As I tried to heal him.  As I fought. As I fought to keep the person you once called brother alive. As I fought to keep my friend alive. As I saw his life flutter near the ends.” Jean exclaimed, tears forming in her eyes. She began to walk again in circles, running her hands through her hair. 

“Diluc, you weren’t there. As I begged the Archons to let him live another second, another minute, to survive that night. As I watched him stir away for a few seconds then awaking begging for you to forgive him, asking for you, wondering where his older brother went? Asking if you were okay. He was ready to sacrifice his last words for you. As I tried to heal him, not knowing if I could save him, not knowing which breath would be the last. Diluc, you weren’t there. ” 

Diluc’s eyes widened. Had Kaeya really been hurt that badly? Guilt began to bubble. It had all been a blur of red and blue tears. Why was he such a horrible person, such a horrible brother? Poor Kaeya. Why couldn’t he just communicate properly, why couldn’t he be a better person. 

Yet, guilt turned into misplaced anger. Diluc fumed, why was everyone making him the villain.  No, he deserved it. Diluc could be better than this, he could be better. But Diluc was not better. 

“Oh, so that little traitor, he told you.” Diluc hissed as his heart broke. 

“No,” Jean replied, “Oh no, he refused, to this day he would deny it all. He would protect you. But Diluc, you and I both know that I’m not stupid. Who else? Diluc. Tell me. Who else could do that?” Jean turned around, beginning to walk away.  

Diluc’s heart shattered, poor Kaeya. He didn’t deserve him. Why was he like this? What happened to his old cheerful self. Stop, Diluc told himself. Please, Diluc, stop. 

By what he said next, Diluc knew he had ruined any chance of forgiveness. 

“You don’t know the truth,” Diluc glowered, showing no emotion. 

Jean whipped around, “I don’t need to,” 

“He deserved it.” Diluc said looking into her eyes. 

No he didn't, Diluc's mind weeped. 

“Deserved it? Diluc are you listening to what you are saying right now? You are saying that your little brother. The one that we grow up with. The same one who had been by your side through every single thing, deserved what you did to him? He’s your brother. Your little brother who had been by your side for years. The same brother that would do anything for you.”  

I know, I know I’m horrible. Stop reminding me. I’m sorry, Diluc’s mind sobbed. 

However, his voice betrayed him, “You’re one to talk.” 

“Pardon?” 

“Well, you don’t exactly have a good relationship with your sister, do you Jean?” Diluc sneered. 

Jean looked taken aback, then anger glossed over her eyes. 

Jean hissed, in a voice so quiet, “That’s true. Maybe Barbara and I don’t get along. Maybe we were never best friends like you and Kaeya were.  But do you want to know something Diluc?” 

Jean paused and in a low murmur, spoke, “Barbara could join the Fatui and I would never. Never. Do what you did.” 

Diluc scoffed, “What happened to protecting Mondstadt? What happened to, ‘For Mondstadt, as always?’” He mimicked. Why. Why was Jean so noble. Why was Jean doing what Diluc should have done. 

“Diluc, what is Mondstadt without the people? Nothing. Mondstadt is the people. What are we, without the ones we know? The ones we swore to protect?”

“Jean, please! Listen to me, I did it for Mondstadt,”

“Did you really? The ones who pick up shields and listen at the first sign of war are better than the ones who attack relentlessly in ignorance. ” 

Diluc stared at her, anger slowly bubbling. She did not lose anybody. Who was she to talk? Why did she expect him to be perfect? 

Jean continued, “Diluc, look at me. Look me in the eye and tell me that you did it for Mondstadt, that you attacked your brother, who, by the looks of it, didn't even try to defend himself. Did you even listen?”

“Jean, you don’t understand what I was going through,” 

Jean sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose, “I know, I don’t understand. But he did .” Diluc’s eyes widened. A pause. A long pause. The tavern was silent as the words settled in. 

Jean, not letting him utter an excuse, continued, “By attacking him, you not only hurt your brother, you hurt your only family,”

He looked at her bewildered, “He’s not my brother. Not my family. He’s just a knight that can’t even do his own job properly! ” 

Jean looked at him, “Do you know how much he does, how much he has done? Do you know how hard he works?  How much he cares? For everyone, how much the kids look up to him? He works harder than anyone I had ever known. We are so lucky to have him here in Mondstadt” 

Why was everyone on the traitors side? Anger and guilt bubbled and fumed, and finally, the volcano blasted.

“He’s not exactly from 'here', now is he, Jean?” Diluc yelled before he could stop himself. He was a horrible, horrible person.

A loud echo reverberated in the room as Diluc felt stinging under his eye. His head turning the other way. Dandelions wisped and flew around him.

For a split second, Jean looked at Diluc’s (now bruising) face and her hand in something akin to shame but then her eyes hardened. 

She turned around, “By the way, Diluc, It’s Acting Grand Master Jean now,” she said as she left, closing the door with a soft (but angry) thud. 

Diluc spat a dandelion out his mouth and watched the door close stunned. Tears dared to fall. 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya didn’t know what it was, but there was a change lurking in the air. He didn’t know how to describe the difference around him. Funnily enough, it seemed as if dandelions were flying in the opposite direction of the wind. Like the tides were changing. It was a quiet change that lingered within the city lights, within the soft smells. Yet, it was change nonetheless. Change was not always a good thing, but it was not always a bad thing either. 

 It had been a few days since Kaeya’s unsuccessful talk with Diluc. However, it seemed that it hadn’t actually been “unsuccessful” after all - hurtful yes- but in the end the bird that had been scaring away all the pigeons had stopped perching at the lamppost.  Though Kaeya did see it fly towards Dawn Winery a couple times, so he was correct, it is Diluc’s pet. Diluc seemed to have convinced it. Maybe deep down, Diluc did care. Probably not, probably just didn’t want Kaeya going back to the tavern Kaeya’s mind hissed. 

For the most part, things were going well. Or well enough as could be when his older brother basically hated his entire existence. As he walked during the morning patrol, he tried to ignore the fact that the wild pigeons flew away from him (he recognized some of them too- traitors!). He tried to ignore the fact that he noticed it. He tried to ignore how empty he felt. 

He tried to ignore his racing mind but one can not simply do that with ease. 

In another world, in another reality, would things have been different? 

Was there a world in which Kaeya would have walked into Angel’s Share, and Diluc would have welcomed him with open arms.

Is there a world where Kaeya had stayed quiet, a world where Kaeya had not lost what chained him to Mondstadt. Was there a world where Kaeya had been better? Stronger? Happier? 

Was there a way for Kaeya to make Diluc want to be his brother again, was there a list of words he could say that could take back the actions that he did. 

Though Kaeya thought he did not deserve to, he mourned for what could have been. He mourned for the world in which he and Diluc were still brothers. A world in which Master Crepus was alive and well. A world in which he did not carry the unwanted fate of  Khaenri'ah. A world where the sun never left forever. 

So, as Kaeya fought the Abyss Mages and Hilichurls that he met on his patrol, he mourned. 

Kaeya let out a bitter laugh, he really thought that Diluc would have missed him, at least a little. 

He thanked Diluc for bringing him back to reality. Oh how naive he was, to think that things could change. Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor. 

As Kaeya walked back towards the city, a smile came to his face as he saw Timmie standing there with the bread alongside Klee and Bennett. The pigeons slowly arriving to their lunch reservation. 

They all waved to him, and Kaeya walked over, a real smile on his face. 

“Sir Kaeya,” Bennett cheered, “The pigeons are back! The bird is gone! I guess my luck really did scare it away!” 

Kaeya laughed and patted Bennett’s head, “I don’t think your luck scared away the birds,” 

“Brother Kaeya’s right, the bird belonged to Master Diluc.” Timmie replied. 

“Master Diluc?” Klee questioned, “Makes sense that the weird grown-up has a weird pet. Grumpy grown up, grumpy bird,” she hissed, then quickly smiled. “Kaeya, do you want to feed the birds with us?” 

“Ah, no thank you. I promised Bennett that I’d teach him how to fight. He’s going to be starting an adventure team soon”

“Right! I’ll see you guys later!” Bennett cheered and began to run towards the town. Kaeya waved and began to follow him. 

“Bye Timmie! Bye Klee!” 

“Bye!” They both cheered in unison. 

Klee looked at them both and yelled, “Wait! Brother Kaeya, can you teach Klee how to fight too?”

Kaeya, who had heard her, quickly turned around to reply, but instead found himself face to face with Diluc. 

Kaeya froze and looked at him with a hint of fear. His heart thundered. Was Diluc going to yell at him? In front of his siblings? 

He looked through the corner of his eye and saw Timmie look a little afraid as well. Instead, that never happened. 

“Sir Kaeya,” Diluc replied, showing no emotion.

“Ah, Master Diluc,” Kaeya replied, trying to hide any hints of confusion from his face. There was a long awkward pause.

Kaeya coughed, “Um, the pigeons are back, so thank you for that.” He said, his voice strained. 

Diluc simply nodded at him and then continued to walk. 

Kaeya stood there stunned, confused, and perhaps a small sense of hope flickered within his soul. He would have to extinguish that later. 

Diluc POV 

“Brother Kaeya?” Diluc grumbled to himself. Why were so many people referring to Kaeya as their brother? First Timmie and now these kids? 

DIluc sighed, this had to be an elaborate prank done by Kaeya. One new sibling, Diluc understood (well not really, but Kaeya was probably trying to replace him so sort of made sense), but Bennett and Klee too? Definitely a prank.

Jean’s words came echoing in his mind. Do you know how hard he works?  How much he cares? For everyone, how much the kids look up to him?

Surely not? He shook his head. Probably a prank. 

“Guess Kaeya has done well enough on his own,” he said to himself, without me , he did not say.

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV

It was another day for the Cavalry Captain, and his mind was still in shock. The day before, Diluc, Master Diluc, had greeted him. The same Master Diluc that had yelled at him days before. It was strange, how he was so desperate to cling to bits of hope. 

Yet, now as Kaeya sat, he watched the chess board and pondered his next move. On the table, a wooden chessboard and handcrafted pieces. The smell of Good Hunter lingering in the air. Bennett, Timmie and Klee all pondered as well, wondering what move Kaeya would do next as the game marched on. 

Chess, it was a game that Kaeya was rather fond of. Actually, it was a game Kaeya excelled at, the inquiry of the mind, how every move could change the tide. How a single pawn could turn the match. It was exhilarating. 

The game had started, Kaeya versus the Mondstadt Pigeon Lover Association. Or well, in reality Kaeya was teaching them how to play chess, but nonetheless they all watched as Kaeya made the next move. A pawn on the sidelines, marching up another spot. The others watched in awe. 

Yet, little did he know that there was another watching.

Diluc POV 

As Diluc had been walking to grab food, he had caught sight of the blue-haired captain once again. This time, he watched as his former brother played chess with his new siblings. 

That’s our game , Diluc thought hopelessly before extinguishing that thought. 

He heard Kaeya speak, “Even though the king is said to be the most important piece, one should never forget about the pawns.” 

Typical of a traitor to think like that Diluc hissed in his mind. 

Diluc tried to hide his glare, of course Kaeya, the manipulative captain would say something like that. Though Kaeya’s mind did help him succeed, his methods of protecting Mondstadt were not typical of knights that would fight with claymores and weapons. Even Diluc had heard the ghost of the rumors upon his return. 

“The pawns are the ones that there are a lot of, the ones in front of the other pieces, right?” Timmie asked.

“That’s correct,” Kaeya replied, “They are often used as sacrifices to help the King,” 

Yet the game continued for a while, and Diluc waited patiently in the line at Good Hunter, trying to tune out his former brother’s annoying voice.

Of course, he still kept a watch on the game. Finally, a pawn had reached towards the other side of the board, and Kaeya explained. 

“So, when the pawn gets to the other side of the board it can become anything except the king?” Bennett asked.

“Yes,” Kaeya replied, “think of it as a promotion, or a reward for the pawns that worked so hard and succeeded. Though others may disagree, I’d say that the pawns are the most important pieces of the game.” 

Diluc looked away as memories he was refusing to think about came flooding back. 

Little Kaeya sat in front of the chess board as Diluc and Master Crepus excitedly explained the game. Kaeya, now a lot more inquisitive, asked many questions.

Yet a single question seemed to linger deeper, “So, when the pawn reaches the other side of the board, it can become anything that we choose?”

“Yes,” Master Crepus smiled. Little Diluc noticed the confused look on Kaeya’s face as he held the pawn in his hand. 

“Kae, are you confused?” Kaeya looked up from the board and the pawn, and scratched his head.

“But what about what the pawn wants to become?” Kaeya asked. 

“What?” Diluc asked. 

“So, when the pawn gets to the other side, we can choose what it wants to become, and you said that the Queen is the best choice, but let’s say the pawn doesn’t want to. What if the pawn just wants to just, I don’t know, stay a pawn. Why can’t the pawn just do whatever it wants to do? Why doesn’t anyone care about the pawns and how they are sacrificed” 

Master Crepus looked at Kaeya and pondered, “Very interesting question Kaeya,” 

Diluc grumbled, “How is that an interesting question? The pawn should just do whatever helps you win.” 

Kaeya, who had noticed the cloud of melancholy above them, changed the topic but messed up, spilling a detail from his past: “Yes, that’s true! I really like this game, it's very interesting! We don't have that where I come from!” 

Master Crepus, realizing Kaeya's mistake, had laughed and quicly changed the topic, “It’s great that both of my children love this game so much!” 

And that had been all of that conversation. 

Diluc would pride himself in always letting Kaeya win whatever race, whatever game they had played. It wasn’t even a competition, actually it was much more difficult for Diluc to purposely lose a game (and make it look realistic) than it was to win when Kaeya was playing. But chess, that was another story, as he would have to do his best to win against Kaeya’s calculating mind. 

A voice brought him out of his thoughts, Sara smiled, “Master Diluc, what would you like to order?” 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

There were two things that Kaeya really hated. Like really, really hated. A close second place (though almost tied for first) was grape juice. It was the drink that his father had supposedly left him to buy. Of course, the story had been fabricated, so Kaeya could have followed his “destiny” and been placed in Mondstadt, no suspensions and fewer questions. 

Grape juice was also disgustingly awful. It reminded Kaeya of the medicine he used to eat when he had first arrived at his new home with the Ragnvindrs. Disgusting. 

He was frail, weak and there had been a tinge of fear that he wouldn’t arrive to survive to carry out his mission.  Kaeya chuckled to himself. Back then, Kaeya had been so worried about the mission, so worried he wouldn't be able to fulfill the fate he had to. 

Now, Kaeya willingly rejected it. Rejected the mission that he was raised to fulfill. As a matter of fact, now he could care less about the mission, care less about what he had to do. Because here, in Mondstadt, he had found something that brought his life meaning, or rather than something, some people. If only he had realized it sooner.

He remembered that horrible day, when Master Crepus had used the delusion. Instead of sadness he felt relief at the first second. That sickening sense of relief, like the shackles were free. His only father now was the one in Khaenri'ah, There was nothing preventing him from honoring Khaenri'ah. He was finally free.

But then, like a tsunami, the truth deep within his soul came flooding in, and Kaeya, who had been alone in the woods, had fallen with a broken sob. With Master Crepus, he had been free. He had been free the second Master Crepus had found him. 

Every single breath he had taken in Mondstadt, Kaeya had always been free. 

It had been right in front of him, The City of Freedom, Mondstadt, was where Kaeya was free. It was in the name, Kaeya couldn’t believe he hadn’t realized it sooner. 

Khaenri'ah was the shackle, not Master Crepus. Never Master Crepus who was his father.  His heart had known all along, yet the mind that had the mission imprinted before he could even utter a word was trying too hard to take over.

It had been there, on that fateful night, where Kaeya had realized that he had stopped being a traitor to Mondstadt long ago. 

For as long as he was in Mondstadt, Kaeya was free. And he would do anything, anything at all to protect that freedom. To protect the people. Kaeya chose Mondstadt out of his own free will. 

But fear lingered, deep within. Because, as long as he was here, as long as he was in Mondstadt, maybe even anywhere in Teyvat, did he really have a choice? Because no matter how much he tried to leave his past, it could return any day. 

Right, Kaeya had been pondering the things he hated. Of course, first place on Kaeya’s “Hate The Most List” was surprisingly not Diluc. Even after he had just relived the worst day of his life before breakfast had even started. Actually, Kaeya never really hated Diluc, ever. Well, actually once (or hundreds of times)  Diluc had stolen Kaeya’s toys and hid them, back then Kaeya had pretty much hated Diluc a lot. 

But even after, even after that night when Kaeya had told the truth, when Kaeya came clean of his lies, only to have his little sense of hope crushed as Diluc readied his weapon. Kaeya still didn’t hate Diluc. Couldn’t bring himself to. A small voice whispered in his head, of course, that was what you wanted. To have him hate you. To have him despise you. 

Kaeya shook his head, what had he been thinking about? Yet, before he could recall, he had finally reached the bridge.

Timmie, who had been waiting, waved, and Kaeya handed him the freshly baked bread. 

As Timmie tossed the breads, and as the birds fought for the crumbs and pieces, Kaeya looked into the distance. One day, one day Khaenri'ah would catch up. One day, Kaeya would have to return to his homeland, this time as a traitor that could not fulfill the mission to save them. Yet, being here in Mondstadt still made him a traitor, a traitor to both lands no matter what. 

“Brother Kaeya, are you okay?” Timmie asked. 

Kaeya looked at Timmie, “I’ll be fine, just thinking.” 

“Thinking about what?” Timmie asked curiously.

“Just about life.” 

“Do you like thinking about life?” Timmie inquired. 

“No. not really,” Kaeya replied. Kaeya wondered if they’d ever forgive him for betraying the homeland. He would have to eventually go back to Khaenri'ah and tell them that he had chosen Mondstadt. Out of his own free will. This was a fate that even he could not run or talk his way out of. Would they be mad? Would the people that he could barely remember still remember him? 

Timmie, who had seemed to sense Kaeya’s stress, decided to change the topic, “I went to the library yesterday, with Bennett and Klee.” 

“Oh really? Did you meet Lisa? She’s the librarian there.” 

“Yes,” Timmie replied and began to look through his bag.

“Did you get a book about pigeons? Or did you get something for the pigeons to read” Kaeya joked with a laugh.

Timmie looked at Kaeya, and brought out a giant book about pigeons. 

Kaeya stopped laughing and looked at the book, trying to hide any sense of shock,

He flipped through some pages, and then paused at a page that was marked with a dandelion.

“Kaeya, did you know that pigeons will always find their way home?” 

“Hmm?” 

“These pigeons, no matter where they go, they will always find their way home! ” 

“Oh,so they must be carrying little maps,” Kaeya laughed.  

“No, there is something in the pigeon’s mind that will tell them where to go. It’s like something that comes naturally to them. That’s why people used pigeons to send letters! The pigeons would never get lost and they’d always return home. No matter what!” 

“That’s interesting,” Kaeya said, then he whispered to himself, “But what if they don’t want to go back home.”

If Kaeya could decide, he would never step foot back into Khaenri'ah, He’d live the rest of his life, free. But, what if, he was like the pigeons; the mission engraved to his brain, the Abyss in his mind. Could he ever be free, or, like the pigeons, would he just follow what was written for him? 

Timmie, who had heard, looked at Kaeya, “Why wouldn’t anyone want to go back home?” 

Kaeya looked shocked, and quickly coughed, “Ah, I was just thinking what if the pigeons don’t want to go home. Maybe they send letters for the Fatui, I don’t think anyone would want to be there. They probably get moldy bread there.” 

Timmie stood there in thought, “I hadn’t thought about it like that,” 

Kaeya, who sensed that Timmie was perhaps feeling bad for the Fatui pigeons, quickly spoke, “Sorry, I have ruined the mood with my rambling, let’s not worry about the Fatui pigeons, what else did you learn?” 

“Maybe the pigeons can choose where their home is.” Timmie spoke, throwing another piece of bread. 

“Hmm?” Kaeya asked. 

“Maybe home isn’t the place we are born, but the place we choose .” 

Kaeya chose Mondstadt with every single essence of his soul, but Mondstadt would never accept him. It was who he was. He didn’t deserve it. He was born a traitor, and a traitor was all he would ever be, no matter what he did. No matter how much he tried to prove himself. 

His former brother had spoken the truth: 

Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor.

To confirm, or perhaps ask the world for a sign (he begged for a comforting sign)  Kaeya kicked a piece of bread, and watched as the pigeons ignored it. Luckily, Timmie hadn’t noticed. 

Kaeya looked back into the distance as tears dared to form. He coughed, hoping to swallow the lump in his throat, “Well, knowing that some pigeons have chose to live with the Fatui worries me, do you think they’re bribing them with some fancy Fatui bread?”

Timmie laughed, “Maybe these pigeons here are the ones that ran away from the Fatui!” 

Kaeya mimicked exaggerated shock, “Or what if they’re here trying to find the secrets of Mondstadt! Timmie, we’ve been tricked by the Fatui!”  

Timmie laughed, “I don’t think my friends would do that.” 

Kaeya paused and stood still. The sun slowly shined a little brighter. 

Timmie tossed the final piece of the pigeons’ breakfast, “As long as they are here, Mondstadt will be their home.” 

Kaeya looked at the morning sun with shock and a glimmering sense of hope. 

It had been a few minutes since Kaeya’s day at the knights had come to an end. After he had returned from the bridge, with a sense of hope that maybe he could call Mondstadt home, he had actually been a lot happier than usual. Now, as Kaeya walked in the town during  the evening sun, he watched as Timmie was feeding the pigeons their dinner. On the menu: bread as always. However, Kaeya definitely thought that the menu should be changed, especially if the Fatui have some fancy bread that they're bribing their messenger pigeons with. 

Kaeya looked at the bridge as the sun was setting, he watched as people tried to quickly return to their homes, while also trying to avoid Timmie’s pigeons (their eyes still looking at the boy with pity). Kaeya chuckled as he saw people walking towards the sides of the bridge, avoiding the center that was taken over by Timmie and the pigeons. 

Kaeya watched as the merchant carts slowly began to start packing up for the day.

Kaeya watched as the knights that guarded the gates shared laughs and talked about their day.

Time passed, and the evening waved calm. Now, the only person on the bridge was Timmie and his pigeons. 

Yet, out of the corner of his eye, Kaeya saw a flash of red hair, and sensed a grumpy person. 

It was none other than Master Diluc. Kaeya watched his former brother with a sense of curiosity. He seemed to be going home to Dawn Winery (or perhaps to his lair to become the Darknight Hero. Had Kaeya and Diluc still been brothers, Kaeya would have laughed and made fun of Diluc for hours and hours, if not eternity. Seriously, the Darknight Hero, - what kind of name is that. But you’re not brothers anymore, a voice hissed in his mind. 

Kaeya shook his head, things were finally starting to be a little different. Diluc, a little nicer. 

Kaeya watched as Diluc began walking onto the bridge. Before Kaeya could look away he saw Diluc still walking in the middle of the bridge. As Diluc got closer and closer to the flock of birds, he still walked in the middle of the bridge. 

Most people would try to scoot around, walking towards the edges to avoid frightening the birds.

Most people would try to tip-toe across the bridge, pity for Timmie in their eyes as they silently walked. 

But Diluc, he wasn’t like most people was he?

And Kaeya watched face aghast and growing anger as Diluc walked right through Timmie’s pigeons, scaring them all away. 

Kaeya saw red, and it wasn’t just Master Diluc’s hair. 

Kaeya watched as Diluc continued a few steps, showing no care at all for what he had just done. 

Oh, right, the thing that Kaeya hated the most (other than grape juice). The thing that was number one on Kaeya’s hate list: when someone (other than him) messes with his siblings. 

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

As the evening slowly began, Diluc began his journey back to Dawn Winery. He had spent the day preparing Angel Share’s for the evening rush that was sure to begin. Then, handing off things to Charles, he left for the day.

Usually, it was Charles at the bar during the evenings, and that of course was just as Diluc liked it. Diluc wasn’t the biggest fan of talking to others, especially the lazy knights. Rather than spoil his mood, he’d simply leave the bartending to Charles. Of course, Diluc was also the Darknight Hero, which needed no explanation. 

Diluc had actually found it rather hilarious, that no one could tell that he was the Darknight Hero. He wasn’t surprised that the inefficient knights weren’t able to figure things out either. 

It almost made him laugh more than the horrible name that he had been given by the town.

The Darknight Hero? Seriously. 

If Kaeya knew (and he wouldn’t - Diluc would never let that traitor find out) he would make fun of Diluc for hours. Had they still been brothers. Good riddance, Diluc mused to himself. He didn’t need that annoying knight pestering him. He didn’t miss his brother at all. 

Speaking of Kaeya, though still  being the traitor that he had always been, Diluc didn’t mind the few word conversations. While it was true that Diluc was not the greatest fan of talking to his former brother, he also did not mind it. Simple conversations, few words, less than sentences yet it wasn’t the worst either. 

Years ago, many many years ago, Kaeya had been shy around the others (speaking to the maids and shopkeepers in one word phrases), yet he would talk to Diluc for hours and hours. Long ago, Diluc had felt a sense of pride, a sense of joy. 

In the present, Diluc simply buried away those lingering memories. Holding onto the past was not a mistake he would make twice. 

Despite Kaeya and Diluc not talking to each other as they once did, there seemed to be a fragile balance. Indeed, a fine line that dictated hatred versus apathy. And in Kaeya’s case, he was standing in the middle, more towards apathy. Though, perhaps Diluc had accepted things would never be the way they had once been, he had also perhaps let go a little of that hatred. It was still there, yet now it was buried just like the good memories. Apathy and hatred, a fine line that Kaeya, as Diluc knows him, would cross nearly every second. Because one moment, he hated Kaeya, the next he simply did not care. 

Yet, he didn’t look at Kaeya with that hatred anymore, he didn’t feel that rage anymore. Or atleast, that rage and hate no longer consumed him. Instead, it lingered and dared to fester. 

As Diluc continued walking towards the bridge, his mind in thought, he looked ahead to see that all of the shops were slowly closing, the bridge empty save for the boy who always fed the pigeons. 

The boy, who was known as “Timmie” was Kaeya’s new sibling. New brother. Of course, Diluc and Kaeya were no longer brothers, it did not bother Diluc in the slightest that Kaeya had another sibling. Not at all. Diluc didn’t care about the Mondstadt Pigeon Lover-whatever it was that Kaeya had started alongside his other siblings. 

Right, it seems that while Diluc had been away avenging Father, Kaeya had adopted a bunch of siblings and started a bird sanctuary-pathetic. Yet, since Diluc did not care about Kaeya anymore, he did not care about the new siblings.

He did not care that they would play chess, the same as Diluc and Kaeya did long ago. Diluc did not care that it was Kaeya who taught his new siblings how to play chess, just as Diluc had taught Kaeya even longer ago. 

Diluc didn’t care that Kaeya was teaching Bennett how to yield a weapon, just as Diluc had taught Kaeya a long time ago.

Diluc didn’t care about Kaeya, thus he didn’t care about Kaeya’s new siblings. It didn’t matter to Diluc. Actually, it was probably embarrassing for Kaeya. Right, who’d want to be with the pigeon savers. 

Exactly! Diluc wasn’t lonely, and even if, in the rare case that he was lonely, he prefered it. And so, as Diluc walked alone, no one to bother him, no annoying jokes and a sense of peace he sighed. Things are better now. If in the horrible world in which he and Kaeya were still siblings, Kaeya would probably be bothering him right now, telling annoying jokes or rambling about some story. Diluc didn’t miss that. He liked the quiet. 

Lost in thought, Diluc continued to march and march. 

He didn’t care about how they’d go to the beaches to collect seashells, just as he and Kaeya had done long ago. It didn’t matter. 

He didn’t care that Klee would happily tell everyone how she had found the best seashells (that Kaeya had likely meticulously placed). 

Just as Diluc used to long ago. A memory slowly came to mind. 

Diluc, who had been chasing after his father, walked in the morning sand. 

“Father! What are we doing again, and why didn’t we wake up Kae?” Diluc had said.

Master Crepus had raised a finger to his lips “Shh, we don’t want to wake him up,” Master Crepus had whispered, then he had placed another seashell onto the ground and covered it lightly with sand. 

“It just doesn’t make sense,” Diluc had cried (though whispering now), “First we woke up early without Kae, went to the beach over there using the Waverider, picked up the shells, came back and now we are putting them here,” 

“It makes perfect sense,” Master Crepus had spoken. 

Diluc threw one of the shells to the ground exasperated, “Okay, if you say so.” 

Father had been right, Diluc had thought, after he saw his little brother racing so excitedly finding all of the best shells by chance. A smile on his face.

In the end, it had made perfect sense. 

Diluc shook his head, trying to get rid of the memory. Why would anyone want to collect seashells even? Diluc could do that on his own (though he had no reason to). 

Exactly, he didn’t care. He didn’t care about the stories the town talked about, he didn’t care how Jean’s words had been the exact truth. 

Kaeya was just a traitor, trying to do whatever it is a traitor does. 

A flutter of feathers and (fearful) cooing brought Diluc out of his thoughts. He didn’t realize how far he had walked while he was pondering. He watched as all of the pigeons flew away racing in a flock of wings. 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya, who had once been at ease gazing upon the bridge was now racing, seeing red as he raced towards both his present and former siblings. 

Kaeya had seen the sadness on Timmie’s face as he watched the pigeons fly away, and it was at that second that the tinge of sadness turned into anger. Diluc always ruined every single good thing Kaeya had in his new life. 

Deep down, Kaeya knew. Kaeya knew that Diluc had done this on purpose. That Diluc just wanted to see Kaeya suffer (even when he wasn’t around), and perhaps knowing that Diluc would go so far was just painful. 

The fact that Diluc had decided to likely first send the bird (no doubt in Kaeya’s mind after the actions he had seen today) and the fact that Diluc would taunt Timmie for no reason other than the fact that he was Kaeya’s little brother.

Kaeya, you ruin everything don’t you? Then later make everyone pay the price, a voice whispered in his mind. 

Kaeya didn’t care how the person who had once been his family looked at him with the most horrible glare of disgust. 

Kaeya didn’t care. Infact, he welcomed it. To atone for his sins. To atone for being in a world that was not meant for him. 

Kaeya chose freedom (and the city of freedom) and this was the price, and he would gladly pay it with every single essence of his soul. Diluc could hurt him again and again, and Kaeya would never stop him. 

But hurt Kaeya’s siblings? 

That was the one thing Kaeya would never stand for. 

Kaeya walked faster and faster, his steps pattering as he tried to get to the bridge as quickly as he could. 

And so, he walked as fast as he could without breaking into a run, still as graceful as the Cavalry Captain he was known as. 

He heard the faint voices of his sad little brother and perhaps a mumble of an apology from the former (if it even was an apology and not just Diluc being Diluc). 

Of course, knowing Diluc, it was likely not an apology but rather trying to blame Timmie. 

Any fear that Kaeya had of his former brother, every single droplet of fear disappeared as anger slowly turned and mixed with bravery. Yet of course, as Cavalry Captain, Kaeya adorned his mask. 

“Master Diluc,” Kaeya yelled, his voice showing no emotion. 

Diluc, who had the audacity to go back to walking, didn't look back. Kaeya began walking after him. 

“Master Diluc!” Kaeya yelled again, as he heard a faint “Brother Kaeya!” chasing after him. 

Diluc finally turned around, a quick second of shock, as he looked at Kaeya. 

Kaeya’s mind noticed that quick second of shock, and a sense of pride trickled through him. Diluc had chosen the wrong person to bully. Diluc had messed with Timmie and didn’t expect any repercussions; the oh so “uncrowned king of Mondstadt” could never be told he was wrong. But here Kaeya was. 

He later then looked down towards Timmie who was running towards them as fast as he could (carrying whatever was remaining from the loaf of bread). 

“Ah, apologies Sir Kaeya, I hadn’t heard you.” 

Kaeya looked into the eyes of the one he had once called brother. Some fear had trickled as he remembered. The one that had hurt him, the one that had been his family, and then he looked at Timmie. This was for him. So, Kaeya spoke.  

“Master Diluc! You scared away all of my brother’s pigeons!” 

Timmie, who had now caught up with the former siblings, quickly spoke, “They’ll be back.” 

Kaeya looked at Timmie, who seemed to have a sense of fear in his eyes. Diluc had really scared poor Timmie. 

Diluc just glared.

Kaeya cleared his throat and spoke again, “Master Diluc, you scared away my brother’s pigeons.” 

Diluc let out an annoyed huff, “They’ll be back, just like your ‘brother’ said.” 

This time Kaeya was the one to glare and then he let out a scoff or perhaps a laugh of unbelief. Who knew Master Diluc was so heartless? 

Diluc POV 

Diluc glared at Kaeya, and continued to show no emotion. Yet his mind flickered. For a split second Kaeya had been afraid, then after the new brother showed up, there Kaeya went acting all brave and cool and tough and just like the best big brother ever.

Just like you used to a voice hissed in his mind. 

Diluc wasn’t jealous. He didn’t care that Kaeya had a new sibling, or infact, multiple new siblings, yet his voice had betrayed him. Part of him felt really bad for Timmie, the boy hadn’t done anything to deserve being spoken to so rudely. 

Yet, anger still lingered deep within. This was a traitor. A traitor that was trying to manipulate Mondstadt. A traitor that was planting seeds that would overturn what Diluc and Father had sworn to protect.  

Then, he saw Timmie tugging on Kaeya’s sleeve. 

“Sir Kaeya,” Timmie whispered.

He saw Kaeya look down at Timmie, and all of the anger in his eye disappeared. 

“Yes, Timmie?” Kaeya asked.

Timmie looked back up at Master Diluc then at Kaeya, “Can we talk over there,” then pointed towards a spot on the bridge not too far away.

Kaeya glared at Diluc one last time and walked towards the spot. 

Of course, even though they were whispering, Diluc could still hear them. 

“Are you alright Timmie?” Kaeya asked.

“Brother Kaeya,” Timmie cried, “It’s okay you don’t have to do this! The pigeons will be back!” 

“What do you mean?” Kaeya had replied (rather shocked), “He scared away your friends, that wasn’t nice.” 

“But Brother Kaeya,” Timmie had started then paused, “I know how afraid you are of him .” 

Diluc’s eyes widened. Kaeya was afraid of him? 

Had Diluc not been so angry, so upset, had it been the past Diluc, perhaps Diluc would have cried at the thought of his little brother ever being afraid of him. What would Father have thought? 

Guilt ran through Diluc’s veins as he tried to stop tears from falling. His own brother was afraid of him. His father’s son. Diluc’s mind began racing and he had missed out the rest of the conversation, but soon enough Kaeya had returned as Timmie was walking away. Whatever Kaeya had said must have reassured him. 

Kaeya’s who had been smiling moments ago now stared at Diluc with a frown. 

Everything was quiet. The sun continued to set, and everyone that was once on the bridge was left. The merchants, that were so far away, had packed away their things and now only the two brothers stood. Almost as if they were the only ones left in Mondstadt. Other than the gentle whisper of the wind, there was silence. Silence so quiet that one could have heard a dandelion seed fall onto the ground. The silence stirred and stood as they looked at each other. The memories dared to fight, the memories dared to stir, but they did not. 

Then, Kaeya spoke. 

“Master Diluc, you shouldn’t have scared his birds away.” 

“Pardon?” Why was Kaeya so mad about the birds? 

“Timmie’s birds. You shouldn’t have walked through them. They mean a lot to him. He thinks- No, they are his friends.” 

Diluc stared at his former brother, and it was then that he realized how much their worlds had changed. The conversation with Jean playing in his mind. 

Kaeya, who was seemingly growing more annoyed at Diluc’s response (or lack of) continued.

“Master Diluc, that wasn’t nice,”

“Alright then,” Diluc spoke, “Please send Timmie and his pigeons my sincerest regrets.” No matter how much he tried, Diluc couldn’t remove the venom from his voice. He was being forced to apologize to birds. Birds for crying out loud. It honestly hurt that his former brother was feeling sympathy for mindless birds. Where was that Kaeya all those years ago? Why hadn’t he cared as much for father. He did though, he did. 

Before that thought, that realization that Kaeya had in fact cared so much about father could set in, Diluc scoffed. Kaeya really cared about fowl more than their, no his, father. Kaeya never apologized for what he did. He did, Kaeya did apologize.  And if what Jean was saying was correct, Kaeya had apologized multipe times. But not now. Not in the present, and the present is what counts. Anger withered in DIluc's eyes as he looked at Kaeya. His former brother really cared more about chicken skewers than their entire family. 

Kaeya glared at Diluc this time, the traitor had the audacity to look offended. 

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya looked at Diluc’s expression. It was strange, Kaeya could have sworn that Diluc seemed to be amused. 

“Any problems, Master Diluc?” Kaeya hissed. Here Diluc was, thinking that the pain of others was humorous. Yes, Diluc probably didn’t understand, but that didn’t give Diluc the right to bully Timmie, to make fun of Timmie. 

Diluc just stared at Kaeya, then he chuckled, but it didn’t have any hint of joy. Rather, the chuckle was heartless - mocking even. 

“Other than the one you’re trying to create, there doesn’t seem to be any problems, Sir Kaeya.” Diluc replied. 

Kaeya looked at Diluc, the mask slowly appearing once again, and Kaeya’s expression turned expressionless. 

“Pardon?” 

“Oh, it’s nothing, Sir Kaeya. I’m just a little confused as to why not just a knight but the Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius is so concerned about the wellbeing of poultry. Of fowl.” 

Kaeya took a step back as the words were uttered out of the redhead’s mouth. Maybe, a while ago, Kaeya would have laughed, would have said something similar even. But he couldn’t even bring himself to think about it. These were Timmie’s friends. So yes, of course Kaeya was going to worry about his little brother. Okay, and maybe Kaeya had grown a little attached to the little rude birds that reminded him so much of how he would never belong. Because those birds had also been a reminder of what he had built. The friendships, the siblings, the family. 

Kaeya was not sentimental, he refused to be, but it felt as though Diluc was making fun of the very thing that kept Kaeya going. And so, Kaeya, who was too shocked to speak, simply looked at his former brother. He adjusted his mask before it could fall, before he could show any emotions.

“Master Diluc, I am simply just speaking on a matter of respect. Scaring away-” 

Diluc POV 

Anger flushed through Diluc. So not only was Kaeya caring so much about a bunch of poultry, but implying that Diluc accidently walked through some birds was disrespectful.  Did Kaeya think Diluc was doing these bad things on purpose? The audacity. Kaeya, his former little brother, was trying to teach him about respect? The traitor? How funny. 

So, before Diluc could stop himself, he spat, in a voice so venomous and cruel: 

“I don’t need a traitor teaching me about respect.” 

Kaeya flinched. Diluc saw Kaeya visibly flinch and take a step backwards, shock evident in his expression. He felt a pang of guilt and sadness that he tried to wash away. 

Looking at Kaeya, he decided to keep walking. Sorry his mind whispered. 

Kaeya’s voice hardened as he followed, steps in an angry race, “Master Diluc -” 

“What?” Diluc hissed. He was tired, he just wanted to get home. He just wanted to get back to Dawn Winery. And even after, he still wouldn’t get time to rest, for the Darkknight Hero would have to protect Mondstadt. Of course the knights were so useless. But couldn’t Diluc just get a nice quiet walk back home? Could Diluc just get a few minutes where his mind wasn’t racing in guilt. A few minutes where he didn't have to think about what a horribe brother he had been and currently was. 

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

Couldn’t Diluc just have a few seconds of peace, a few seconds where he wasn’t thinking about what he had done to the person he had once called brother. 

But Dliuc did not say any of those things. No, instead Diluc looked at Kaeya and all the anger slowly turned into words. Was Kaeya deserving of all the words, of course not. But here Kaeya was, and so, DIluc spoke. He spoke the words that he had huddled deep within his heart. The words that he had not said for so long. 

“Sir Kaeya, you are here bothering me, you the Cavalry Captain of the knights are here trying to teach me about respect.You are here trying to teach me about some pigeons. You are here causing problems over pigeons. It’s pathetic, so pathetic. No wonder the knights are such a mess with a captain like you. Actually, you’re not even a captain, you're a traitor, a monster , filth. Too busy crying over some fowl than actually doing your job. The Knights of Favonius, always so inefficient. As always” 

Kaeya looked at Diluc, it wasn’t a long stare, but just one glance felt like eternity. Diluc shuddered, and Kaeya frowned, “No.” 

Diluc looked at him utterly shocked, “‘No’ what? Do you really think your knights are that hard working, they are almost as pathetic as you, they do nothing. They are weak, inefficient.” 

Then, Kaeya spoke the chilling words in a voice so frozen, “You’re the only inefficient knight.”
“What?” Diluc bellowed. 

“This whole, ‘The Knights of Favonius are so inefficient’ thing you’ve been saying. You sure you’re not talking about yourself?”

Diluc looked at his former brother. What was he exactly trying to say. 

“Because Diluc, think for a minute,” Kaeya sneered, “Maybe, just maybe, the only inefficient knight was you .” 

Surely Kaeya doesn’t hate you more than you hate yourself? Surely Kaeya doesn’t think about how pathetic and weak you are. Surely Kaeya doesn’t blame you more than you blame yourself. 

One look into Kaeya’s eye and Diluc knew what Kaeya was implying. But of course, he had to ask. Because surely the person he had once called brother wasn’t so cruel. Surely Kaeya wasn’t as bad as he seemed. Surely Kaeya would pity you? 

“What exactly are you implying traitor?” Diluc asked wisps of ember raging around him.

A second of fear that only Diluc (and Father) would have noticed shone in Kaeya’s eye. Then, it disappeared and an icy grim took its place. 

“Oh, nothing Master Diluc. I’m just saying that if a certain someone was more efficient, maybe Father would still be here!” The blue-headed knight sneered in a sing-song voice, a single tear freezing before it could dare to fall. 

Diluc stayed silent. 

Kaeya POV 

Sadness churned within Kaeya as he spoke those words. His mask still gripping on, the words came out as a sneer, as an eloquent remark. Flowed as easily as a shrug of the shoulders, but inside Kaeya Alberich broke even more (hah, he hadn’t thought that was even possible.) 

As Kaeya saw the horrified expression on his former brother’s face, guilt overtook him. 

He tried mentally shaking his head, he scared away your brother’s pigeons!! He deserves this. The knights work so hard. You’ve seen how hard Jean works, how hard the knights work. What gives Diluc the right to just denounce their hard work. He deserves it.  

Kaeya shook his head, no Diluc didn’t deserve it. Kaeya knew, Kaeya knew what it was like, no he lived it. He lived what it was like to have your brother blame you, hate you, despise you for something you can’t control. Hate the being of his existence. Something that could not be changed.  I’m sorry, Diluc. 

Because the only person who deserved the pain, the hatred and the fury was not Diluc, it was Kaeya. Kaeya deserved all of the pain, all of the hurt, but Diluc, he never deserved any of it. Kaeya deserved it. 

It was, perhaps, at that moment, when all they had built began to crumble and Kaeya realized. Not much was left of their family of course (the fight all those years ago basically said everything). But whatever there was left, the melting ice cube, the dying candle, was now about to break. No. No, Kaeya wouldn’t let it. Kaeya would grasp on to whatever was left. Whatever remained. 

And so, Kaeya’s mask fell, it clattered into a million broken pieces. Kaeya took a deep breath, and put apart whatever was left of the mask, and in a voice so close to the verge of tears, he whispered. “I’m sorry Master Diluc,” he forced a laugh that sounded more like a whimper, “I don’t know what’s gotten to me.” Kaeya looked towards the sunset, he refused to let Diluc see him come close to tears. 

Diluc chuckled, no he took a minute to laugh, Kaeya’s eye widened. Diluc continued to laugh. Of course it wasn’t a joyous laugh. Kaeya didn’t really find anything all too funny, unless Diluc thought making his brother almost cry was hilarious (young Diluc would have disagreed, Kaeya thought bemused - little Diluc was a menace). 

Diluc who seemed to have drunk a laughing potion, continued laughing, and clutched his stomach as he continued. 

Kaeya stood there in silence. He looked back, and that was a mistake. 

Diluc stopped laughing and looked directly at Kaeya. Fear overtook Kaeya and his scars burned as though they were fresh. Memories came rushing in. Not good ones. 

 Because it was that very look. The same look Diluc had given him the day Kaeya had spoken the truth. The same look when Diluc had raised a weapon against Kaeya and not cared. No mercy, no pity, no kindness. 

Kaeya would have taken steps backwards had he not been frozen by fear. 

Because it was that look, the one Kaeya had seen that horrific day. The same look when Kaeya wasn’t sure if he was still in Mondstadt or if somehow, somehow a sinner like him had reached Celestia. It was that look, when Kaeya didn’t know if he was looking at Diluc or had finally been reunited with Master Crepus - with Father. 

Kaeya’s heart jumped as Diluc swore, “Kae, you’re so pathetic.” 

It was that nickname, the one Kaeya had missed so dearly and now he never wanted to hear it again. 

Diluc POV 

Diluc saw his brother deflate but right now, he simply did not care. Because his brother, no the traitor that stood in front of him, was so pathetic. 

The voice inside him, the one that would tell him to be kind to the traitor. The voice that would tell him that it wasn’t his brother’s fault, it wasn’t there. Diluc was ecstatic. Finally, he had silence from the guilt, didn’t have to think about the truth. So, Diluc spoke, wiping away the tears of “laughter.” 

He didn’t care about how broken his brother looked. How dejected Kaeya looked. 

So, Diluc hissed, “You’re like a dog, a pathetic weak dog always running back to its owner. Even since we were kids, you’ve always been like this!” 

The redhead saw the confused look on his brother’s face and continued, “It’s pathetic. It’s hilarious, have you got no self-respect?” 

Kaeya, for perhaps the first time in his life, Diluc thought, had nothing to say. 

Diluc continued, “What? My father gave you some table scraps and all of the sudden you thought we were one big happy family. That’s pathetic. So pathetic.” 

“Huh Master Diluc, whatever do you mean?”  Kaeya questioned. 

Guilt as always raged within Diluc, everything hurt. But, it stung. The fact that Kaeya wouldn’t fight back. Kaeya should be angry. Should be filled with rage, should be crumbling, yet it was only Diluc that was falling. That was well doing anything. 

Because how, after every single thing Diluc had done, why had Kaeya always forgiven him. Why? Because Diluc wanted Kaeya to be mad at him. It was only fair, yet here Kaeya stood, as composed as ever. 

Because that traitor should be reacting, should be showing some emotion. Instead, he did nothing, and that made Diluc angrier. 

“Doesn’t surprise me. A spy like you would do anything to stay in the good books.” Diluc spat. 

“I haven’t got a clue about what you’re talking about Master Diluc.” Kaeya spoke emotionlessly. 

Diluc’s mind wasn’t even making any sense now. Words jumbled and crawled with the main goal of hurting the Cavalry Captain as much as possible. Anything that was hurtful, anything at all. 

“And that’s your problem Kaeya! You know nothing.” Diluc seethed, “You’re a pathetic coward and you can’t even admit that you’re a traitor. You’re a fake. Ever since I came back you’re always bothering me. Annoying me every single second.”

But that’s the guilt isn’t it? The guilt, not Kaeya? 

Diluc looked at his former brother who seemed to have become frozen. 

Diluc continued, “It’s pathetic because even after everything you did, you keep returning. Do you think we’re still a family? Kaeya Alberich you are nothing but lies. You can’t even speak the truth, not for one second. How pathetic!” 

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya tried to stay calm, yet the hurt lingered deeper and deeper. Words cutting through the mask, and as the words sliced through the mask, it finally broke. The mask that had been on Kaeya’s face was now nothing but dust that flew away in the evening wind. 

Kaeya looked at Diluc, and this time, Kaeya was the one laughing a hopeless laugh and smiling a soulless smile. 

“Ah, it’s funny you think that. Because Master Diluc, do you ever think that maybe the reason I am ‘nothing but lies’ is because the one time I spoke the truth I almost died. Huh, have you ever thought about that, Master Diluc? Or even better, do you recall anything like that, Master Diluc?” 

Diluc looked even more enraged, “Don’t you dare.” 

“What Master Diluc?” 

“Don’t you dare try blaming your entire life of lies on me!” 

“Oh? So you were incredibly accepting and kind when I told you the truth.  You definitely didn’t try to attack me, right?” Kaeya asked, venom in his tone. 

“Kaeya, it was just a bad day!” Diluc declared. 

Kaeya stood there stunned, then spoke, “A bad day? Diluc are you listening to yourself? One bad day for you nearly cost me my entire life!” 

“Kaey-” 

However, Kaeya did not hear Diluc, and continued, every single emotion from that day now beginning to rise. “It’s honestly sad that a truth that was no longer even true turned you into this. This monster. What would Father ever say?” 

Diluc stayed quiet and no words were spoken. The truth hurting him. He had to say something, anything! 

Diluc snarled, “You have no right to talk about him. You don’t understand.” 

Kaeya looked his brother in the eye, “Oh, but Master Diluc I do and I did understand. And you know what, I agree. I agree that maybe I could have chosen a better day, maybe waited a little while. But you know what? That doesn’t justify it. So don’t you dare call it a bad day. Because what I had was a horrible life, do you think I wanted to be born a traitor!?” Kaeya refused, he refused to let those tears fall but his voice was beginning to crack. It was at this moment, a sense of anger raged deep within Kaeya. A storm with no container. 

Diluc POV 

As soon as Kaeya uttered those words, the traitor that stood there once before was turning into the one he had once called brother. It’s a manipulation tactic! Don’t fall for it Diluc! His mind cried. He didn’t choose to be a traitor. It was like his mind had gone into shock. Nothing to say, nothing to do, Diluc stood there. 

Diluc looked at Kaeya exasperated but with a tinge of sympathy, “Kaeya, please listen to me, I was struggling. We all have our struggles.” 

Kaeya looked at Diluc and laughed, this time the laugh was mixed with some deep twinge of pain, “Master Diluc struggling? What a surprise!” 

Diluc looked at his former brother in shock.

Kaeya who had seemingly noticed this continued in a mocking voice, “Oh no young Master Diluc’s grape juice had run out, whatever will he do while he waits 2 seconds for a refill. Poor Master Diluc, struggling oh so much.” 

“Kaeya-” Diluc started, but Kaeya didn’t listen, he was on a roll now.

“Oh no! Master Diluc has made a mess, and now he has to watch Miss Adelinde clean it up! The horror!” Kaeya mimicked wiping away a (perhaps real) tear. 

Of course, anger flushed again and Diluc found flames withering near his fingertips. 

“Kaeya, enough.” 

Kaeya looked at him with a hint of sadness but his voice showed no indication, “Of course Master Diluc! I know! It must be so hard to hear your struggles!” 

Then, Kaeya looked at Master Diluc with no emotion, no smile, just a blank expression. 

Anger, that Diluc had been trying so hard to avoid bubbled.

“I had to be perfect!” Diluc yelled, his voice broken. 

Because every single second he was not himself, he was the dreams of his father. He had been chosen by the Archons to have a Vision, and by doing so, the Archons had given his father a Vision. Diluc didn’t care what the others thought of him, because all that mattered, no - all that matters is Father. He just wanted to make him proud. Time and time again, Diluc would have willingly carried out Father’s dreams with a smile on his face. 

This time, Kaeya was shocked.

“Every. Single Day.” Diluc continued, “Because I had to carry out Father’s dreams! Not mine. Every single thing I did, I did it for him. And in the end, I couldn’t even save him.” His voice cracked as he yelled, and he prayed that Kaeya would not notice. 

Then, the bits of anger took over as he sarcastically spat, “So Kaeya, I am just so sorry that I was hurt. I’m so sorry that I actually have emotions, unlike you. I’m sorry that I’m not a monster like you. Because I’m the one that cared.”

Kaeya looked at Diluc, and then he whispered so faintly, “I did care! He was my father too!” 

Diluc scoffed, “Really? The way you acted makes me think otherwise. Do you really think if Father knew, you’d still be his son? Besides, you’re not my family and you never have been and never will be.” 

Diluc looked at the sky, it was getting late. He could leave now but before he left he (or his anger)  just wanted to say one thing, “And I’m sorry for not being so happy when I lost everything. I’m so sorry for getting a little mad, and for hurting you a little. I’m sorry for knocking some sense into you.” 

Diluc quickly turned around yet turned back as Kaeya let out a pained gasp at those words. 

It was at that moment, unintentionally Diluc (or atleast Big Brother Diluc) turned around to see what had hurt Kaeya. At that moment, Diluc knew that things would never be the same. Because that look in Kaeya’s eye was pure hatred. 

Diluc refused to think about how looming under that hate was incredible pain. How right now, he didn’t see the Cavalry Captain of the Knights Diluc had abandoned, and instead Diluc saw the little brother. The little brother who had been found in the storm.  

Then Kaeya spoke, in a wobbly voice, and showed a deep scar on his hand from that day, “If you think this is what retribution looks like, this is what sense looks like, then, then I hate you.” 

Diluc couldn’t even bear to look, and walked away quickly before the guilt could settle in.

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV

It was strange, as the quiet days passed Kaeya thought that the simple, polite nods exchanged with Diluc would make him happier. Diluc isn’t mad! Diluc doesn’t hate you enough to ignore you. Diluc doesn’t hate you, even after everything you said. Diluc hates you a little more but he doesn’t detest you. That’s a plus isn’t it? 

He thought those simple nods would have brought him joy. Instead, it brought back memories that Kaeya desperately tried to hide and ignore.

Kaeya didn’t mean those things. Kaeya didn’t. He doesn’t hate Diluc. Why had he said those things? Why had he let the mask fall? Because he deserved the pain. He did, so why had he been mean to Diluc? He had taken out his own pain, his own anger and hurt his former older brother. 

It was like a sting in his mind. It was a strange feeling that gnawed at the soul, that brought shivers to his mind. It was misery without the company. Because as though it seemed, he was the only one that cared so much, while Diluc had moved on. Like he always does. 

Kaeya had thought that he would have been better, that Diluc’s polite nods with no smile, and cautious behavior would have been enough to bring the joy of the family he once had. That it would remind him that despite everything that had been said, Diluc didn’t hate him enough to ignore him. That at least there was something left of their -no of his family.  Diluc didn’t care. He thought it would be enough but It wasn’t: it only brought a deep sense of sadness for Kaeya as it was a showcase of his mistakes, an indicator of what could have been and what Kaeya had destroyed.

As Kaeya walked on patrol, he watched as all the pigeons raced away with the wind. The world really seemed to not like him. Probably hated him more than Diluc did at this moment. 

Kaeya just missed his big brother. 

Diluc POV 

There had once been a time where Diluc and Kaeya had been brothers. They had been best friends. Yet as always , Diluc had ruined everything. It was at that moment during that fight that Diluc had realized that the fragile reality of lies that he had created was broken. It was at that moment when he had seen the true pain in Kaeya’s eye, the scarring of the skin and the falling of the mask that Diluc realized that Kaeya, his little brother, was hurting. It was all his fault. He had hurt his brother. The traitor deserved it!

No, no he didn’t. He wasn’t even a traitor. 

The words from that fight came running back:

“Because what I had was a horrible life, do you think I wanted to be born a traitor!?” 

Yet, Diluc remembers that look in his eye.

“...I hate you.” 

Diluc's heart had dropped and shattered at that moment when he saw the scars that he had caused to his brother. It was a reality he refused to think about, but it was there clear as day. And it had been much, much worse. That look of pure hatred that his little brother had shown told Diluc everything: it wasn’t something that was like stealing his toys or playing a prank. This wasn’t something an apology could fix, plus, Father wasn’t here anymore. 

Master Crepus was a hard-working businessman and he was a loving father. Though there were some rules that he had within their house that were set in stone (and Father would get very upset if they were broken). Most of the rules made sense: like no muddy shoes in the house. Yet there was one that Diluc thought was bizarre. It was that all family conflicts would be gone at the dinner table, and that they’d have a nice dinner. Another rule was that if there was nothing nice to say, then it didn’t need to be said. Diluc guessed that had sort of made sense but specifically a nice dinner was rather strange. Yet, Master Crepus had insisted, and if they broke that rule they’d both get in trouble (even if Kaeya had started it).

So, both Kaeya and Diluc had come to an unspoken agreement whenever they had fights before dinner. When Little Kaeya and  Little Diluc were ever mad at eachother, they’d either exaggerate (“I was so absolutely grateful Luc taught me how to share my toys and how to give my toys to him without expecting anything in return! Selflessness is very important within a family!”)  or  (most often) they’d be punching and kicking each other whenever Master Crepus looked away. Those would often end with them both bursting out in laughter and whatever little thing they were arguing about had been long forgotten. 

Diluc smiled, maybe Father had been right with his strange dinner etiquette rules all along. 

Then reality slowly was realized, things now were oh so different now. Plus, this wasn’t exactly something like stealing (yes, he was mature enough to admit it) Kaeya’s toys or fighting over who won a game of chess. 

Then slowly another memory that Diluc had so desperately been avoiding to think about came to his mind. Because sometimes, their fights would get bad. Sometimes they would yell at each other and stomp away to their rooms, slamming their doors shut or scribbling “KAEYA NOT ALLOWED TO ENTER”  or  “WELCOME ANYONE BUT DILUC” onto paper and taping it to their doors. These were often resolved but there had been one fight that had been particularly bad. Diluc didn’t even remember what it was about but it had been bad bad. It had happened in the morning, and it was a bad bad bad fight. Like so bad that Diluc and Kaeya hadn’t uttered a word or even looked at each other during the entire day and had eaten dinner in complete silence. Though Father had tried really hard to brighten the mood. 

Honestly, they were both on the verge of tears. It was the worst thing ever! 

Diluc knew that he could have apologized but honestly, he hadn’t wanted to. He didn’t know why, it was some silly thing and as the older brother he should have apologized. When night fell it was finally time to go to sleep and Diluc had known he needed to apologize (this was the longest time they had ever been mad at each other! For a whole day!) Of course, he was too Diluc to apologize so instead he picked up the crumbled sign, taped it to the door and slammed the door shut (loud enough so Kaeya could hear). Kaeya following had done the exact same thing.

Then Diluc cried as he tried falling asleep. But before he could he heard a knocking at the door. 

He had pouted and refused to answer it. 

The knocking didn’t stop, “Luc? Luc? Are you still awake? It’s Kae.” His little brother had said.

“Go away!” Diluc yelled, his voice muffled. 

“No!” Kaeya had yelled, “I just wanna talk!” He whined. 

Diluc angrily threw his pillow and then picked it up.
“Okay fine!” He grumbled and then opened the door. 

Kaeya had been standing there teary-eyed, a blanket in one hand and a stuffed teddy bear in the other. 

“Okay! What do you want?” Diluc asked angrily, hoping that Kaeya didn’t notice the tears on his face. 

“Um, I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” Kaeya said, looking away, seemingly upset that he had to apologize.

Diluc, who knew he had been in the wrong, but was too ashamed to admit it, “You should be! Anyways, I don’t accept your apology. Okay bye!” Then he crossed his arms and went to slam the door. 

But before he could, Kaeya ran into the room and threw his blanket and teddy bear onto the bed. 

“Hey! What are you doing!?” Diluc yelled. 

“I’m not leaving until we forgive each other!” Kaeya declared climbing onto the bed next to the teddy bear.

“What? Go away or I’m telling Father!”

“He would probably agree with me!” 

“Well okay then! Move over!” 

Then the two bickering brothers sat there in silence. Both trying to not let the other brother know that they were on the verge of tears. 

After some time, Little Kaeya had slowly begun to almost fall asleep but woke up before he could fall. 

“Kae go to sleep!” Diluc yelled. 

Little Kaeya rubbed his eyes, “No, not until you accept my apology!” 

The two siblings sat in complete silence. The only noise was the ticking of the clock that marked the passage of seconds. 

Diluc looked at the tired Kaeya, and grumbled, “I um accept your apology.”

Kaeya had smiled and hugged his brother. 

Then he whispered, “I’m sorry too Kae,” 

Kaeya smiled a toothy grin, “That’s okay Luc! I forgive you!” 

Then Kaeya yawned, “Okay goodnight!” then plopped onto the bed. 

“Wait, go back to your room!” 

“No,” Kaeya pouted. 

“Why?”

“My room is so far away. And what if I get a nightmare,” Kaeya complained exaggerating. 

Diluc grumbled, faking annoyance, “Okay fine!” 

Then he picked up some extra blankets and pillows to create a wall.

“Okay Kaeya, so you stay on that side and I will stay on this side.” 

“Okay!” Kaeya replied, and Diluc could tell that his little brother was smiling.

Time passed and Diluc was still awake, a question in his mind.

“Hey Kae, are you still awake?” 

Kaeya didn’t reply, so Diluc, being the kind older brother he is, kicked him.  

“Kae, are you awake?!” 

Kaeya exclaimed, “Ow! Well now I am.” 

“Why didn’t you go to sleep until we forgave each other?” 

Diluc waited and heard no reply, “Kae?” 

Kaeya yawned, and perhaps it was true that one speaks the truth when they are tired, for Kaeya had whispered, “Where I come from, sometimes people don’t wake up as humans after they go to sleep.”

“Huh? What does that mean?” Diluc questioned. That didn’t make sense, not waking up as humans? 

“They wake up as Abyss Mages.” Kaeya whispered, already about to fall back asleep. 

“Oh.” Diluc had said, saddened but confused. 

 He realized that Kaeya must have been feeling sad and exclaimed, “Well then, let’s promise to always forgive each other and not get into fights. Or well, we’ll always get into fights but let’s not let our fights last too long. Promise?” 

“I promise!” Kaeya said happily. “Goodnight Luc!” 

“Goodnight!” 

Now, that promise had been long broken, and funnily enough, Diluc was the one who had broken it. As he recalled, Kaeya had already tried to apologize multiple times. Yet did he, Diluc, really deserve forgiveness? It was his fault wasn’t it? 

Perhaps it was easier, it was easier breaking promises than actually fixing them. But a sad whisper spoke, because he finally had an answer to that question he had asked all those years ago. Khaenri'ah.

So, Diluc threw away his emotions and he knew that was what was needed. He knew he had to let go. 

“If you think this is what retribution looks like, this is what sense looks like, then, then I hate you.” 

Diluc shuddered, Kaeya had really said that, and that meant that Kaeya, his little brother, really truly did hate him. His mind replayed it, over and over again. And so, Diluc knew that there was no longer a chance of saving whatever had been. And did he really have the time? The time to care about what was no longer there. He had seen that look on Kaeya’s face, the disgust. There was nothing left. Did Diluc really deserve to care? Even after everything he did? 

 And so, Diluc threw away his emotions, and looked away. Apathy and hatred: a fine line to cross. Kaeya crossed that line from hatred to apathy in just one fight. Diluc knew he needed to look at Kaeya without any emotion. Without any care for the one he had once called brother. This was for the best.  He wasn't as worried about Kaeya as he once was (even after his return, there was still a sense of worry, not now).  Exactly, he didn’t care about what happened to Kaeya. Yes, that was it. Or did he still care?

And so, when Angel’s Share opened for the evening, Diluc was shocked (he hid any sense of concern) to see the blue-haired Cavalry Captain enter laughing alongside the other knights, perhaps tipsy, he assumed they had already gone to the Cat’s Tail. 

His heart shattered, concern crackled and guilt glistened, as his mind apologized to his little brother. What have I done? I’m so sorry Kaeya. 

Diluc just missed his little brother.

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

Time clattered amongst the clock, ticking and ticking. Diluc thought it was funny. Funny how people always said that time would heal all wounds, that time would fix everything. Because what Diluc had learned, and been a living example of, was that time did not do that. Instead, life would through a million more sorrows, a million more joys, and that thing that had been hurting would be overshadowed by more pain. Yet, it would never heal. It would just be there sitting. Still hurting, but there would be more things that were hurting so his mind would be distracted momentarily, yet the pain was still there. 

Because everyday, that horrible day would come to mind. The day he hadn’t been perfect. The day he had been a monster. The day he lost every single thing. The guilt still lingered.  Fermenting like grapes that turned into wine. 

Speaking of wine, there was a new guilt that lingered deep within Diluc. And this time, as always it was all his fault. 

Kaeya POV 

Storms passed, days ended and time endlessly clicked. 

Kaeya, just as the days changed. Of course, not all change is for the better, just as all change is not for the worse. It depends on whom one asks. 

Of course, Kaeya knew deep down that this change was not for the better. 

Kaeya had begun to visit the tavern a lot more often. As a customer now. Though, secretly he just wanted to be near his former brother. He missed him oh so much. 

As the days had turned into weeks, Kaeya would no longer wake up before the sun rose to buy the freshest bread for Timmie and the pigeons. Actually, he didn’t even bother buying the better bread anymore, he’d buy the cheaper one. Of course, the pigeons deserved it - they were so rude to him. But also, he had a new expense - wine wasn’t cheap! (And he was pretty sure Diluc would specifically increase the price for him - how cruel!) 

Of course, Kaeya would still buy the bread for Timmie (not for the pigeons, that was clear), and he’d still attend the Mondstadt Pigeon Lover Association meetings (he isn’t a slacker, of course!). Unlike the former red-haired Cavalry Captain, Kaeya would never abandon his little siblings. So yes, of course he’d still help them. Yet, he’d avoid the pigeons, at all times; they bore the reminders of how this world would never accept him. 

Kaeya knew he deserved every single thing Diluc had done and would do in the future. Despite Kaeya no longer being a traitor, despite Kaeya never even wanting to betray Mondstadt, Kaeya knew that he still deserved it. 

And Kaeya, he didn’t care how many times his heart shattered more and more and more. How many times he was picking up the pieces of broken memories just to remember enough to be present. Just enough, so he could be enough for those around him. 

Kaeya had always thought that it was funny, that people would say that one can not love others if they do not love themselves. 

Kaeya hated if not despised the fiber of his soul, every single essence of his being. 

Yet, he loved Monstadt with every single breath he had taken ever since he arrived in the new land. He loved Mondstadt with every single word that he dared to utter. 

And even, even if he could never call this place home as his former brother had said. The family that he created from the scraps of the fight was something that he loved more than anything he ever knew. 

Kaeya loved his siblings, both present and former with every single essence of his soul, and that's the truth. They were everything for him, his reason for getting up again and again. His reason for picking up the pieces of his heart again and again.

So, yes, Kaeya definitely disagreed with that statement. For Kaeya could love others without loving himself. 

Kaeya shook his head, hoping to get rid of any of those wandering thoughts. Perhaps visiting the tavern so early in the evening was not the best idea, yet here he was. 

Diluc POV 

Guilt lingered because this was all his fault. His brother was sitting here once again, another evening and it was all Diluc’s fault. 

Kae, I’m so sorry. 

The words he had spoken all those weeks ago, uttered in his mind once again. 

“This tavern is for customers only.”

What had he done? Because a small sad part of him knew why Kaeya was coming here nearly every evening. 

Diluc  watched his former brother and tried to hide and sadness and guilt in his eyes. What would Father think? How would Father feel knowing how far he had pushed his little brother. 

“Master Diluc,”  Kaeya chirped almost too happily. He continued, “One-”

Diluc huffed, “Sir Kaeya, I already know what you will have. The knights are so useless, but can’t blame them with such a slacking captain.” 

Kaeya smirked, holding a palm to his chest, a mocking tone, “Master Diluc, you wound me.” 

A few of the other useless knights who’d always come to the tavern early laughed at their captain’s antics. 

Diluc sighed and began to prepare his former brother’s poison. He placed it on the table with a sad clink. 

“Thank you Master Diluc,” Kaeya chirped happily and was about to take a sip of his favorite drink. 

But before he could, the door chimed as two figures walked in. Though Kaeya did not notice them, his back was turned. 

Yet Diluc glared recognizing them. And there he was, Kaeya’s new “brother”: Timmie. A freshly baked baguette in one hand, and his other hand holding Grace’s hand. 

“Sir Kaeya,” Grace called with a slightly apologetic tone. 

Kaeya looked away from his drink, at Grace and then finally at Timmie. Diluc saw his gaze soften. 

Grace sent Kaeya a very apologetic glance, “I’m so sorry to disturb you on your break Sir Kaeya but-” 

“Brother Kaeya, let’s go feed the pigeons together!” Timmie declared loudly for the entire tavern to hear. 

Time stopped for just a tick, and the cavern was soon filled with drunken laughter. Even Charles chuckled briefly and hid it with a cough. Diluc, though overall trying to remain emotionless, cracked a smile, though did not laugh. 

He looked at Kaeya, who sat there in silence. 

He’s probably so embarrassed, the bitter voice within him spoke. Yet looking at Kaeya, knowing Kaeya he knew that was not the case. 

“Hey kid, you really think that the Captain is going to go feed pigeons with you,” a knight slurred, hitting Kaeya on his back. 

“It’s the kid that’s always blocking the bridge,” another mumbled, taking another sip of their drink. 

Kaeya sat there in silence for another second, and then Kaeya glared at everyone. Within seconds the entire tavern was silent. Not a single breath, not a single word. Complete silence. 

And when Diluc looked at Kaeya, he recognized that glare. He knew that glare. It was the same glare that he once wore when someone teased little Kaeya. The protective older sibling glare. A warning sign to whoever was talking that they needed to back off from the little sibling. The glare that spoke, I’m the only one allowed to be mean to them! 

Diluc’s mind flickered back to a memory. They were kids again, it had been almost a year since Kaeya had been adopted as his little brother. Kaeya seldom played with the other kids. He had never said why, but Diluc knew. The other kids were mean. They’d tease Kaeya for not being good at the games, not knowing the games and they’d get mad if he ever messed up. Of course, if he or Jean were around it was a whole other story. No one dared insult Diluc’s baby brother in front of them and got away with it unscathed. 

Kaeya alone however, that was another story. 

Kaeya had been sitting at his favorite tree and reading some books, adamant on learning the new language. 

Diluc and Jean had been walking towards Kaeya when they had seen a group of kids walking towards Kaeya. 

Though far away (and now walking faster but silently) they had heard their voices. 

“What are you doing,” a boy sneered. 

Young Kaeya looked at the group, a smile on his face, “I’m reading this book!” He closed it (a dandelion bookmark marking where he had been reading) and gave it to the boy who had sneered. 

Kaeya looked at the confused look on their face and smiled again, “Jean and Diluc are helping me learn to read!”

He excitedly brought out the book bag that had been beside him and dumped the contents (more books and paper) onto the grass. He opened another book, “Look! They have pictures!” and then Kaeya started laughing happily. 

The kids all looked at each other and laughed. Then threw the book he was holding to the ground (not enough malice to tell if he was being mean, or just careless. Just enough to make Kaeya confused on their intentions). Sneaky little kid Diluc’s mind hissed. 

Kaeya looked confused for a minute, and then continued laughing, Diluc could tell he was unsure. 

A girl moved forward with her hand on her hips, “We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you!” 

“What?” Kaeya asked, his voice soft and sad. 

Diluc was getting mad now, starting to run. His vision sparkled and the smell of ember slowly began to become stronger but a look from Jean told him what he already knew (and what Father had instilled): he can not attack people with his gift no matter how annoying they are. Only monsters. Of course, Diluc thought that Father would probably understand in this case. But he also didn’t want to accidentally scare Kaeya - he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself for that. Plus, he was still a little rusty with his new powers (that he hated to admit). 

He and Jean quickly began to race faster, still silent as they continued to hear the conversation. 

“You’re that old and you’re still reading picture books!?” Another sneered. 

“Huh?” Kaeya said, his voice trembling, “Jean and Diluc said I’m really good at reading. I think I’m doing a good job!” 

The children all glanced at each other, about to say something mean, but before they could their eyes widened. 

“Well, we think -” 

Behind Kaeya, unbeknownst to him, stood a little Diluc and a little Jean, glaring at the rude children with their arms crossed. A dangerous glint in their eyes (the same one present day Kaeya wore now to the occupants of the tavern). 

“Think what?” Kaeya had asked. 

“Pretty great!” The kid exclaimed hurriedly. 

“Oh! I think our parents are calling us, bye! You’re doing awesome!” Another quipped and then the entire group ran off. Shivering as they saw the glint in Jean and Diluc’s eyes. 

Kaeya looked at them confused and then went back to reading, happy with the compliment. 

In the present, seconds later Kaeya stood up, drink untouched. The tavern is still silent other than clinking of ice cubes in the drinks. 

“Well,” Kaeya said with a grin, “calvary calls. Have a nice evening everyone. Drinks on me.” 

Then Diluc watched with wide eyes as his former brother, the one that complained about prices and refused to pay his tab, tossed a bag of mora in front of him. 

Diluc watched, unable to hide his shock, and saw that the knights were still in shock, but seemed a little happier. Diluc watched as Kaeya walked towards Timmie, carefully picked up the baguette and grabbed his little brother’s hand. There Kaeya was walking alongside Timmie. 

The only one that was not surprised, it seemed, was Grace. 

Kaeya POV 

As Kaeya left the tavern, holding his little brother’s hand, Timmie mumbled, “Sorry, I bothered y-”

Kaeya stopped walking and put a hand on Timmie’s shoulder, “Don’t apologize, I’m your brother, and if you ever need anything, I’ll be there.” 

Timmie nodded, then replied, “But, I don’t know, I’m not very cool and I think I embarrassed you in front of your friends.” 

Kaeya noticed the sadness lingering in the air. 

“I know that they think I’m weird or that I’m always blocking the bridge. I know they don’t like me.” Timmie whispered with a sniffle. 

Truthfully, Kaeya didn’t know how to reply, what Diluc had always said? He couldn’t remember. “No Timmie, Archons no! It doesn’t matter what they think! And I think you’re very cool, and kind! Don’t care about what they think!” 

Kaeya's mind stuttered, had he locked up his emotions so much that he couldn’t reply anything more than a general reply, “Timmie, I’ll always be here for you. Don’t care about what someone else thinks, okay? You’re never an embarrassment.” 

Kaeya didn’t know how to reply, what to say, but it hurt knowing that Timmie was hurt. And so, with a loss of words, hugged his little brother, teary-eyed. 

“Let me know if anyone is ever bothering you, I’ll take care of them, okay?” 

Timmie smiled, feeling a little better, ‘Okay! Thank you, Brother Kaeya!” 

And Kaeya smiled back, a real smile, not a forced smile but a genuine smile. Now, he hoped that the birds didn’t fly away from him. That would hurt Timmie, and he really did not want that. How it hurt, feeling as though he was born cursed. He just hoped that the world would not be so cruel today. So, he begged the world again and again. For just one nice thing. Because he knew that the world hated him oh so much at this moment, he knew it by the way the birds would rush away even if he was walking on the other side. 

His mind kept racing to what he was avoiding to think about: had Kaeya’s emotions been so gone, so locked away that he couldn’t even be a good brother? That he didn’t know how to reply. That he didn’t know how to be a good older brother. Ah, if only he and Diluc were still siblings, then he could have at least got some advice. 

As they walked Timmie looked at Kaeya, “Are you okay?” Timmie asked, his voice a whisper. 

Kaeya looked at Timmie, “I’ll be okay,” he said with a small smile. 

Once they reached the bridge, Kaeya handed Timmie the bread. Kaeya didn’t bother throwing any bread, yet he watched in surprise as many of the birds did not fly away. How strange , he thought. Why the sudden change? 

As Timmie began throwing the bread, and as the pigeons fought for the bread. Kaeya stood there and watched glimmers of the setting sun. It glistened, as the clouds moved away. This was happiness, wasn’t it? This was why he worked so hard. To help his siblings, to help his family, to help Mondstadt. 

As Timmie continued throwing the bread, he spoke, “Brother Kaeya?” 

“Yes?” Kaeya asked, his voice soft. 

“Do you remember when you told me how we’re all here because someone took a chance on us?” 

“My memory is a little rusty,” Kaeya replied laughing.

“You said that all of us are here because someone took a chance on us. That our friends, our families took a chance on us and that’s why we’re here.” 

Right, Kaeya was here because Father took a chance. Because someone kind and caring decided to believe in him. Because someone saw Kaeya for more than he was. 

That Varka saw Kaeya with potential, with a chance to succeed and lead the knights. 

That those around him gave him a chance to prove himself. 

“Oh right, I do remember saying that,” Kaeya replied, growing a little sentimental. 

“Well, what if, I don’t know,” Timmie started, “What if we took chances on ourselves?” 

Timmie continued, “Maybe if I told myself that even if I don’t know what I’m doing, or what I will be or even if I will succeed, that I’ll still take chances on myself. Even when no one else wants to! Let’s do that!” 

Huh, Kaeya thought. He hadn’t thought of it that way. That instead of waiting for someone else to believe in him, he could try to take chances on himself. Try to believe in himself, somehow. Believe that he was more than just a traitor. It was tough. It sounded tough. But, he could at least try. 

Kaeya looked at Timmie beaming with joy, his little brother was so smart! 

“Sounds like a plan!”

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

As Kaeya walked, he pondered. It was early in the day, the sun was slowly starting to shine as the world welcomed a new day. Yet Kaeya’s mind was thinking back to the previous day. For he pondered the words of his little brother. 

What if we took chances on ourselves?

But what was there for Kaeya within himself to take a chance on? He was born a traitor. A sad voice echoed within him. What was there to redeem. Yet, another voice spoke louder, and that     voice was the one that had gotten this far. You made a promise to your brother! 

Right, right. He had to find something worth redeeming within himself, something worth fighting for within the very essence of his soul. Not for himself, but for his brother. But what was there? 

As Kaeya reached the bridge, he saw a few pigeons sitting there and (sadly) to his surprise, they all flew away. Perhaps yesterday the world had just been playing a prank on him. 

He let out a sad sigh and looked as the sun shone across the land. As he closed his eye he heard a shrill noise. 

He looked to the side, and there was nothing. Ah, the world was playing tricks on him once again. First tricking him into thinking there was hope, and now it was laughing at him. How cruel this world was. 

The shrill noise came back, and this time Kaeya looked up, and to his surprise saw that the visitor from a while ago was back.

Maybe the pigeons didn’t run away because of you then! 

He looked at the bird, and the bird glared back. Was Diluc spying on him? How cruel.

No, he wouldn’t let it hurt him. 

Looking away from the bird, Kaeya closed his eye and leaned on the side of the bridge once again, soaking in the sun. 

The bird made another noise and Kaeya looked at it through the corner of his eye. The bird was now picking at its feathers, seemingly cleaning them. The bird paused and stared at Kaeya, seemingly judging him. Then it looked at its feathers and continued pecking at them. 

Kaeya let out a small chuckle, of course Diluc’s pet would be so meticulous. 

The bird now glared at Kaeya once again, and Kaeya shuddered. 

“I’m not laughing at you,” he spoke. The bird, seemingly satisfied with the answer, went back to cleaning its feathers. 

Kaeya stood there stunned, was he really talking to a bird? Ah, that was a new low for him. 

Right, right. He was supposed to be taking chances on himself. 

“That’s easier said than done,” he spoke to himself.

The bird who had been sitting there looked at him once again. 

It was funny, but Kaeya felt the need to explain himself. And so, he continued speaking.

“It’s just something my little brother said. He’s really smart. You know him, he’s the one feeding the pigeons all the time. He came up with this idea where instead of waiting for other people to take chances on us, we take chances on ourselves. It’s just tough to do,” Kaeya spoke. 

“Especially when you’re a traitor,” Kaeya whispered to himself sadly. 

“Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor.” 

Diluc POV 

Diluc had watched as his bird friend quickly raced out of the window into the morning sun, definitely in a hurry. Hopefully Diluc wouldn’t have to hear any news of pigeons being scared away again. Especially because he didn’t want to talk to his brother again. No matter what he did, his mind would keep racing back to the words his brother had uttered:

 “If you think this is what retribution looks like, this is what sense looks like, then, then I hate you.” 

His brother really did hate him, didn’t he? 

Diluc’s mind went back to the day before, in which Kaeya’s new brother had actually done what he couldn’t even dream of doing. Timmie had stopped Kaeya from spiraling that day. Because Diluc knew what happened as Kaeya would come to the tavern more and more. Each day would get worse and wrose. And part of Diluc also knew that there was nothing he could do. Kaeya didn’t even care about what he had to say. If Diluc had shown any concern, would Kaeya even believe him? No, he wouldn’t and that hurt so much. That his own little brother thought that he didn’t care. 

And what could he possibly do? Other than raising the prices of drinks and making snide comments, what else could Diluc do? 

At least, Diluc thought, at least he has his new siblings now. Diluc was definitely not jealous that Kaeya had new siblings now, a new family. Diluc didn’t care. 

Yet at this point, he knew that he did care. It hurt knowing how different life could have been if Diluc had been a little kinder that day, a little more compassionate. 

Yet, there was nothing he could do. Time simply infected the wound. Made any chance of retribution seem more and more impossible.

Yet, time just continued to pass. 

Kaeya POV 

Luckily, the bird visitor had been just that: a visitor. Kaeya hadn’t been forced to talk to Diluc, nor had the pigeons been (too) scared. The bird visitor would simply arrive in the morning, then fly away, leaving the pigeons plenty of time to return before Timmie got there. And maybe, just maybe Kaeya had grown fond of the little visitor that reminded him oh so much of his former brother. Seriously - if that bird had thumbs Kaeya knew that it’d be opening up a winery any day now. 

And so, time just continued to pass. 

Diluc POV 

Though Diluc would never admit it, whenever he saw Kaeya again, whether it was his little brother entering the tavern or the slight (forcibly respectful) nods they’d share, he’d feel joy. A small sense of hope that dared to flicker even when every single candle had given up long ago. It was a joy that Diluc had long hoped to have forgotten, but just as the candle that refused to be extinguished, the joy stayed. 

Because how dearly Diluc wanted to apologize, how much he wanted to be with his family again. 

Yet each time, each time that he saw Kaeya again he was reminded of those horrible memories. Of those days that he wanted to forget. Of the days, of the things he wanted to apologize for but couldn’t because it just wouldn’t make sense. Kaeya would think that Diluc’s just being rude or trying to open healing wounds. They’d never be brothers again, would they? 

But no matter how much time passed, Diluc had been Kaeya’s brother. And that meant that he could read Kaeya better than pretty much anyone else (even Jean - who could pretty much read people in just mere seconds). So, Diluc would notice the many things that Kaeya left unsaid (or even tried to hide). No matter what, he’d notice the things that Kaeya hid from the others. Kaeya could do his best to hide his pain, but Diluc, Diluc always noticed. 

So, as Diluc saw Kaeya lean on the wall of the bridge for a second too long whilst observing the pigeons, or close his eye in a flicker of pain, Diluc knew. 

Diluc knew that the knights were as useless as always. 

He sighed, then jumped towards the camp. The useless knights had patrols tomorrow and Diluc knew that they’d mess up, so he decided to just do their job for them (much better than the DarkKnight Hero having to clean up their mess). Knowing the knights, they’d still mess up, but alas, Diluc totally didn't need to clean the entire winery. Totally not. 

So, he set off, after the Cyro Mages. After that had finished, he looked towards the clearing. 

Almost done, hopefully the inefficient knights wouldn’t mess this up either.

“Maybe, just maybe, the only inefficient knight was you!”

Diluc shook his head, and saw a Pyro Mage dancing in the moonlight. He sighed, it was going to be a long night. Oh well, the winery wasn’t too messy. Plus, he could probably convince Charles to work overtime. Keeping Mondstadt was much more important (and totally not looking out for his little brother). 

Finally at the peak of dawn, Diluc threw the final Abyss Mage and watched as it disappeared, going who knows where. Oh, what he had to do for the lazy knights. Not because he was worried for a certain blue-haired brother that had flinched a second too long when he picked up his glass of wine. 

Diluc watched as his pet bird returned with a letter of confirmation from Charles. The winery was clean. That was good. He petted the bird’s head and watched as it flew back into the City of Freedom, a few loose feathers falling in a beautiful dance. 

Kaeya POV 

Sometimes exhaustion hits at the worst of times. Sometimes the world rushes a million mile and hours and throws every single thing that it can and then picks up the stuff it threw and throws it again for round two. How cruel this world was. 

Kaeya felt the numbing pain and ignored it as he tried to quickly walk. He was okay. He had to be. 

Yet, at these times when Kaeya just needs to be a little better than okay, just needs to be a little more than enough, he meekly begs the world without any expectation. It is when Kaeya shamefully begs the world that does not love him and asks the pigeons that do not trust him for just a glimmer of hope. 

He had been on patrol non-stop the past few days. When he wasn’t on patrol (or grabbing a quick glass of wine from the tavern - totally not trying to find comfort from his former older brother that hates him) he was doing paperwork. Even Jean was starting to worry for him, but alas, there was no other choice. Kaeya just had to work. Just had to make things work. 

The sun shone quietly through the clouds, Kaeya had ordered the other knights to take a break, to go home. Because even though Kaeya knew he could ask them to work a little harder, he wouldn’t and that was just who he was. Though Kaeya would not admit it directly, he thought that the spark that flickered with hesitation in the knights’ eyes seconds before turning into a flame of resilience was something to be in awe of: how much drive one could have. How fear could turn foolish courage into justice in just mere seconds.

Yet at the same time, Kaeya knew something that set him apart from the other knights. 

 Kaeya knew that they had families to go home to. 

So, Kaeya fought- alone. Slime after slime. Monster after monster. Kaeya just wanted a break. Just some time to rest. So, he begged the clear sky for a droplet of rain. Cyro was always stronger in the rain. Yet, there was nothing. 

Just a few more camps he weakly thought. Just a few more. Just had to be stronger for a little longer. 

As Kaeya raced forward towards the clearing, something caught his attention. He stood there and watched as a pigeon, in the emptiness of the grass, just stood there trying to fly. 

Silly pigeon Kaeya mused to himself. Were these really what were judging him? 

He saw the pigeon seemingly jump again and then sit down (or at least that’s what it seemed like). Wow, the pigeon had already given up? What a slacker!  His little brother was smart, but these pigeons definitely weren’t dragons. 

Kaeya walked away, going to fight the other camps. To his surprise, as he returned to the clearing once again, the pigeon still sat there. 

Part of him felt bad, but then to his surprise, he watched as the pigeon flickered its wings. 

Then, as though the pigeon had suddenly sensed a piece of bread all the wear near the bridge, the pigeon raced into the air leaving behind fluttered feathers. Kaeya watched in shock, and perhaps awe, as the pigeon raced into the cloudy (but rainless) skies. 

Suddenly, a wisp of a dragon’s tail flickered for a mere second before Kaeya blinked and rubbed his eye. The sky now clear (obviously no dragon in sight). Ah, he really needed to drink less wine. 

A memory slowly came to his mind.

“Luc! Luc!” Little Kaeya yelled as they were looking at the clouds.

“What?” his brother had replied.

“Look! That one looks like a grape!” Kaeya replied pointing at the cloud. 

Diluc got up and stared at his brother.

“That’s a circle!” 

“Grapes are a circle!” 

“Hey look! That cloud over there looks like a dragon!” Diluc exclaimed happily.

Kaeya tilted his head and mumbled, “Oh,that’s cooler than a grape. Sorry, where I come from there aren’t many clouds. I’m bad at this game, aren’t I?” 

“Not many clouds?” Diluc had mumbled, and then quickly changed topic, “Kae, don’t worry! Your grape cloud is cool too! Watching clouds isn’t like a competition, there’s no right or wrong!” Diluc had enthusiastically begun to explain. 

“So then what do you do if you aren’t looking for points or anything like that?” Kaeya had asked. What a confusing game. 

“Well, you just relax and look at the clouds.” Diluc had replied. 

“Relax?” Kaeya asked. 

“Yes, just look at the clouds and do nothing!” Diluc exclaimed. 

“Do nothing?” How very strange. 

“Just look at the clouds, there’s no points or anything.” Diluc stated. 

And so, the brothers gazed at the clouds, quietness in the air. 

Then, Diluc pointed at another cloud, “Look that cloud over there looks like a grape too!” 

Kaeya looked at the grape cloud then smirked, “No, I think that looks more like a tomato!” 

“Right!” Diluc exclaimed. Then Diluc paused, “Hey! Wait a minute!” 

Present day Kaeya chuckled to himself, he was pretty sure that day they had ended up getting into a fight about whether the circular cloud was a grape or a tomato. 

And so, Kaeya, amongst his busy day, his endless work took a chance to simply just stand in the clearing to watch the clouds. 

Moments later, he went back to work. Just a few more camps he thought. The exhaustion still there, the tiredness still there, but perhaps also a sense of peace. 

As he trekked up the hill, he saw the camps and shuddered. Any sense of peace daring to wisp away. Likely Abyss Mages. 

Yet once he got closer to the camps, to his surprise, they were empty.

Relief overwhelmed him. Not just a droplet of relief, an entire storm. The heavy sun lifted from his shoulders and Kaeya fell onto his knees towards the ground. Thunder crackled and finally, finally rain fell from the sky. 

Kaeya Alberich stayed still on the ground as the rain began to patter onto him. The smell of extinguished Flaming Flowers filling the air. 

And it was there that the quiet part of Kaeya’s mind that never spoke and simply watched noticed. It noticed the little scorches on the camps, the remnant of a flaming phoenix and the shedding feathers of a certain bird that belonged to his brother. Maybe he was just lying to himself. Maybe Diluc didn't really care or it was just a random chance. Yet that quiet part of Kaeya's mind did not care; he'd take any bit of happiness that he could. 

Kaeya walked towards Mondstadt with a hop in his step, the exhaustion disappearing in seconds. 

Perhaps the world did care for him (at least a little). 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

Remember everything Kaeya had said about the world maybe caring about him, at least a little? Well, he was starting to doubt it as he flipped through the pages of all the paperwork he had been assigned. How many times had he read this paragraph, his mind not soaking in any of the info? At this point, he’d like to take his chances with the Abyss Mages. 

At least he had finally gotten the chance to rest. He wasn’t sure how, or even why all the camps had been cleared.  Through, there was a hypothesis - a little theory, and that was the Darknight Hero. Also known as Master Diluc. 

Deep down, Kaeya knew that it was probably the Darknight Hero doing his job, just doing patrols and had likely spent the entire time grumbling about how annoying and useless the knights were.

But there was a part of him that hoped, that maybe just maybe it wasn’t the Darknight Hero but instead Master Diluc, his brother. 

Of course he knew they were both the same people, but that still made a world of difference. 

Yet Kaeya knew, time after time, that hope was something that was not meant for him. 

So instead, he accepted whatever sliver of happiness he had gotten, and truthfully he was grateful. Why ruin something good by hoping it could have been better? Why ask the world for better? Reminds him of something that his father, not Master Crepus, but the one that had abandoned him used to always say: beggars can’t be choosers. 

Kaeya flipped through, the paperwork still had to be done. So, one page at a time, Kaeya worked. He was also now stuck writing a full report on the Darknight Hero. 

As the sun was now beginning to set, the smell of rain still lingering in the air, Kaeya began to walk. He picked up the freshly baked bread and brought it with him, while Diluc basically ran the entire wine instudy of Mondstadt (if not all of Teyvat); Diluc was the wine tycoon. 

Despite all this, Kaeya too ran a pretty good business, and that was the pigeon restaurant. Or well, Timmie seemed to have done most of the work, but Kaeya did help - a little. 

After Kaeya had given Timmie the bread and talked for a little while, he decided to make his way to Angel’s Share. Perhaps there was a part of him that wanted to know whether Diluc still did care and maybe just maybe it was Diluc who had cleared those camps.

Diluc POV 

Diluc stood at the bar mixing drinks and preparing for the evening ahead. And this evening there seemed to be a lot more knights. Diluc could guess why, or perhaps who had let this happen. He wasn’t too excited- the knights were, of course, useless. However, after fighting and clearing camps the entire night, Diluc was, to put it lightly, extremely exhausted. He just really really wanted to take a nap. And he just really, really did not want to talk. Thankfully, Charles was there to assist and deal (or talk) with the annoying knights. 

Alas, he had a business to run, drinks to serve and -as the chiming of the door and an all too happy cheer from the knights indicated- now an annoying brother to attend to. 

“Captain!” A knight cheered. 

“How are you this lovely evening Charles” Kaeya cheered - way too happy. Diluc scoffed. Of course the lazy knights would have taken his kindness for granted. Huh, maybe he shouldn’t have cleared all those camps. Let the knights do something for once. 

But, he watched. As he cleaned the glass, he watched Kaeya out of the corner of his eye. It was clear as day that Kaeya was exhausted. The slight stir in his step, the seconds where his plastered smile would turn into a pained frown was there. The way the tip of his hand reached out ever so slightly to the bar as though to catch himself. 

Of course, the knights didn’t notice at all. Diluc didn’t really have high expectations from the knights in the first place, but seriously, they shouldn’t be making Sir Kaeya work that hard. It’s good for that traitor though, isn’t it? He’s probably building his reputation. Diluc mentally shook his head. No, he shouldn’t think like that. He knows that’s not true. So, he redirected his anger back to the knights and scoffed: those useless knights couldn’t even tell the difference between a Hydro Slime and a Sugar-Frosted Slime. 

Kaeya had sat down, not too far away from where Diluc was cleaning the glass and cleared his throat. Diluc glared at him. Diluc just really didn’t feel like talking today. Not to anyone really. Oh, how he wished that he could take a nap. 

“Evening Sir Kaeya,” Diluc mumbled, hiding any hint of exhaustion. 

“Evening Master Diluc!” Kaeya spoke, a smile on his face and somewhere deep within, maybe a sense of hope. That didn’t make sense. Ah, Sir Kaeya was probably expecting a free drink for clearing all the camps (and taking credit for the Darknight Hero’s work). 

“I’ll have-,” Kaeya started, and then seemingly pondered excessively. Diluc scoffed, annoyed; he was too tired for Kaeya’s games. “I know what you’ll have Sir Kaeya,” 

“Oh, are you certain Master Diluc, what if I changed my mind suddenly? People change all the time.” 

Diluc glared angrily and before he turned to make Kaeya’s drink he uttered, “You’ll never change.” You’ll always be a spy - a traitor. 

“And you’ve changed a lot. Hmm, I wonder what Father would think,” Kaeya remarked and Diluc flinched yet Kaeya seemed to have not noticed, now too busy talking to the knights. Diluc quickly turned around, and went to prepare Kaeya’s drink. Lucky for Kaeya, Diluc was too tired to be angry. Or well, super angry. 

He placed the drink in front of Kaeya with a loud thud.

“Thank you Master Diluc,” Kaeya cheered, seemingly unbothered and unaware. 

“Sir Kaeya! You must have been pretty busy today. Letting us knights leave early.” A knight had said.

What?! Those lazy knights! Diluc glared. Why’d Kaeya do something like that, especially when he wasn’t feeling well? And why did the knights even agree to that? They should have had the decency as knightst to decline and help their Captain! Oh how much the Knights of Favonius had fallen. 

Kaeya, who was, unlike Diluc, unbothered, replied, “Oh, it was nothing! Plus, you all have been working so hard lately!” 

“Sir Kaeya, you are too humble!” 

Kaeya took a moment to pick up the glass and took a sip of his drink and set it down slowly. 

“No really. It was rather interesting-  it seems that a certain Darknight Hero had the same idea as us and took care of some of the camps.” 

Diluc who was now on the other side, but still listening keenly let out a surprised gasp at the mention of his alter ego. Though he didn’t look at Kaeya, it felt as though Kaeya was staring at him. Which of course didn’t make sense since there was no way for Kaeya to know, right? 

“Oh really?” A knight questioned. 

“Yup,” Kaeya nodded, “Though it is too early to tell whether our resident vigilante will be a friend or a foe to the knights. Perhaps he has a scheme to make the knights seem inefficient and cause problems within the midst.” 

Okay, so that’s why Kaeya was maybe staring at him. Just to mock him and his (rightful) disdain of the knights. Of course Kaeya would do anything to annoy him. Of course Kaeya wouldn’t know that Diluc’s alter ego. 

“That’s crazy! Does Jean know?” 

“Yup, I had the absolute pleasure of writing a report about this very incident,” Kaeya replied sarcastically. 

Diluc let out an annoyed sigh and rolled his eyes, so much for gratitude, huh? 

“I wonder who he is,” a knight commented. 

“Hmm, yes. I’ve heard rumors he may be a traveler from Liyue,” 

Diluc laughed internally, hah- he can’t believe he was ever worried about Kaeya ever finding out. Kaeya was well, still Kaeya. 

Kaeya POV 

As Kaeya tried to keep up with the knights’ conversation, he kept looking at Diluc. Kaeya just knew Diluc was exhausted. Like Master Crepus, Diluc didn’t show exhaustion, but Kaeya knew. He knew. 

Part of him felt guilty, maybe if Kaeya was a better knight, maybe if Kaeya could simply be half as good as Diluc was then Diluc wouldn’t have been like this. Kaeya knew , he knew that he could never compare to Diluc’s excellence. If Diluc was the Sun then Kaeya was just some extinguished candle that had that little flicker left. Maybe if he had gotten there faster then…

No, Kaeya shook his head. He couldn’t think like that. 

But still, he was worried for Diluc. Diluc definitely wasn’t in the mood for talking. Well, when was he ever? When you were kids, do you remember how happy he was? 

No, Kaeya couldn’t think about that. 

Kaeya watched out of the corner of his eye when an older man sat near Diluc and began to talk. Lucky for Kaeya he was sitting in the perfect spot; the man couldn’t see him, but Kaeya could observe and hear the conversation. It was like a front row seat. How entertaining! The man Diluc was clearly trying to be polite but also trying to find a way out of the conversation that was about to start. Kaeya smirked, poor Diluc would have to be social today. 

“Young lad, I remember you!” The man had said. 

“Pardon?” Diluc asked. 

“You’re Crepus’ boy, aren't’ ya!” 

Kaeya smirked, there was no way Diluc could avoid getting out of this conversation. 

“Yes, my Father worked endlessly to ensure we deliver the finest wines in Teyvat.”

“Yes, it’s a shame. He was a great man.” The man nodded and looked towards his drink. Kaeya watched amused as he saw Diluc about to make a quick escape to the other side until the man spoke up again: “I knew ya since you were yay tall,” and gestured his hand. “I don't know if ya remember me.” 

Kaeya saw Diluc’s forced smile and smirked, taking a sip of his drink. This was interesting. 

“Ah, my apologies. I do remember you now. You were a great friend to my father. Apologies, I think it may have slipped my mind.” 

“Not a problem! I can’t even remember how many drinks I’ve had!” the man replied, with a loud laugh. 

“Hey, don’t ya have a brother. The kid with the green, no- purple hair. What happened to him? “ 

Kaeya wasn’t sure if he should laugh or be offended that this guy who had allegedly known them for so long didn’t even remember what he looked like. He knew that Diluc always got the attention from Mondstadt -a given considering his talents. But still! 

But then Diluc glared at the man, and spoke in a monotone voice.

“I’m sorry sir, but I think you may have been mistaken. I do not have a brother. ” 

It was at that moment Kaeya felt his heart and soul that he had glued together nearly shatter. Because that voice was so cold, so cruel and even though Kaeya knew that they’d never be a family again, why’d Diluc have to say that. Say it like that. That’s the thing about hope, it can so easily be shattered and turned into pain. 

Kaeya sighed, blinking away tears. Guess Diluc really didn’t clear the camps for him. Knowing Diluc it was because of his own pride, thinking he was better than the knights. 

Kaeya knew he should stop listening to the conversation but he couldn’t.

“My memory must be going hazy then, I swear I remember there was a kid and he’d follow you everywhere. He would idolize you. This one time, I think we told him that you controlled the Sun and he believed us. Hah,” the man chuckled. 

Kaeya narrowed his eye, and hid the annoyance from his face. Okay, so maybe he had believed them for a little while, but still, anyone at that age would have. In annoyance, he placed the glass on the table a little too loudly (unintentionally). 

Diluc POV 

When an older gentleman walked towards the bar, and sat as close as he could to Diluc and started talking, he grew suspicious. And perhaps a little annoyed because he was way too tired to be talking right now. 

He had claimed to have known Diluc, but truthfully Diluc did not remember him at all. He had no clue why this gentleman was sitting here. And he had no clue who he even was. But perhaps he was just a little too tired. 

The conversation had been slow and honestly Diluc was just waiting to find a way out of it, however he couldn’t; Charles had everything under control. 

Then, the conversation had turned and the gentleman had begun asking about a certain “purple-haired” brother. He knew that he was talking about Kaeya. And Diluc’s eyes narrowed. First of all, was it really that hard to remember Kaeya’s hair? But then, a sudden worry twisted and turned. Because out of nowhere, someone that Diluc did not even know, did not recall knew about him, his father and now remembered his brother. And maybe, just maybe he was being too paranoid, anything regarding his past would make him freeze; Diluc, through habit, often mistrusted everyone he met. Of course, one couldn’t really blame him since his brother turned out to be a spy, right?

But what if this person here was trying to gather information about Kaeya? What if he was trying to hurt Kaeya? 

He couldn’t let that happen, and so he glared and explained how he never had a brother. 

Kaeya had suddenly placed the glass too loudly and Diluc made eye contact with him. He heard. 

But then, Diluc looked at Kaeya and repeated the words: “I’m sorry sir, but I do not have a brother and have never had one.” 

 Diluc knew he had said that because he was protecting Kaeya right? Or are you trying to hurt him on purpose? Are you looking for a reason to be angry? Because there was some sick satisfaction of letting Kaeya, the spy, know that he was nothing to him. That he didn’t care that Kaeya had lied about their entire childhood, that Kaeya had just been acting this entire time. Diluc didn’t care! He wanted to show Kaeya that he didn’t care. That Kaeya meant nothing to him. That it hadn’t hurt Diluc to find out that everything had been a lie. That Diluc didn’t still mourn for what had once been. 

But, when Diluc saw Kaeya’s lowered head and increased focus on the ice cubes in the glass, Diluc knew he had gone too far. 

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya sat in his office, trying to ignore the words that his “brother” had uttered yesterday evening. He didn’t know why it hurt so much. Kaeya knew they weren’t brothers anymore . Kaeya knew that Diluc didn’t think of him as family anymore . Kaeya knew that Diluc didn’t care about him anymore . But that’s the thing, all of those sentences ended with “anymore.” And that meant, or that should have meant that there was a time when they were brothers. When they were a family. That was the truth, right? But alas, Kaeya was a fool. Perhaps Diluc had thought of him as a burden from day one. 

And just having all that hope crushed, and his entire life denied, it hurt oh so much. A lot more than it should have. Maybe because he really thought things were changing. That the world did care for him. 

A knock at his door brought his attention away from his thoughts. 

“Jean,” he replied with a forced smile. He couldn’t worry her. 

“Kaeya,” she replied, a soft but tired smile, “Excellent job with the camps.” 

“Ah, thank you. Alas, I can not take all the credit. The mysterious Darknight Hero is to thank as well.” 

“Of course, but it really was kind of you to let the knights home early. You did end up doing a lot on your own as well.” 

“Jean, you are too kind,” Kaeya smiled. 

“Are you sure you don’t want a day off or anything? The past few days have been rough and you’ve been working non-stop.” 

“No thank you, I’d probably spend it in the tavern annoying Master Diluc,” Kaeya joked but he didn’t realize how much it hurt mentioning Diluc after yesterday. 

Jean opened her mouth to reply, but before she could a knight ran in, “Acting Grand Master Jean-” 

Jean looked away and gave an apologetic smile, Kaeya smiled back to say “don’t worry about it,” and Jean began walking away. 

As soon as Jean left, Kaeya’s smile faltered, and he choked back a sob.  

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

There were times when Sir Kaeya had to just be there. He had to perform his duties as a Cavalry Captain, work whatever work he had to do and lead the knights. That was surprisingly not too difficult, just put on a mask and the rest would work out by itself. Despite Diluc’s beliefs, the knights were (usually) pretty efficient. And it was during these times when Kaeya didn’t have to be anything more than what was expected of him. 

Yet, there were other times. Times when Brother Kaeya had to be there, when Kaeya, not as a captain, but as a friend had to be there. When Kaeya, who he was as a person, had to be there. And it was, perhaps, at this time, when Kaeya missed Diluc the most. When Kaeya missed his brother the most. When Kaeya asked the world if there was just some way for him to return to the past. Yet the world was ever so cruel. It seemingly laughed at him. Laughed at his dreams, laughed at his demise. No matter what he did, it seemed that this world just hated him. 

Kaeya shook his head, he had paperwork to do. Because who was Kaeya when he was not in service? Who was he, when he wasn’t helping the knights, when he wasn’t working. When he wasn’t spying? Because hadn’t his entire life been just that- a spy? Maybe, Diluc was right. No, Diluc had always been right. Maybe at the soul of it, at the very essence, Kaeya was simply a spy. He just didn’t know it. 

He shook his head. He couldn’t even do his job properly. He scoffed, no wonder Diluc didn’t even consider him a brother. Kaeya had always been like this- pathetic. 

Kaeya sighed and quickly stood up from his desk. The papers shaking ever so slightly in the wind. How was Kaeya just supposed to move on? Why would the world move so quickly? 

Why was Kaeya so stuck in the past? 

Because Calvary Captain Kaeya should have been over this. Sir Kaeya didn’t care about what others said as long as the job was done. Sir Kaeya didn’t care who or what happened. Sir Kaeya could cope. Sir Kaeya should know that this is life. That this is the world and here he is paying for his sins. 

So why? Why did this hurt him so much? Why did something so little, so insignificant hurt so much? Why did he care so much about Diluc’s opinion? Why was he even thinking about it? 

Kaeya wanted to scream, he wanted to yell, he wanted to cry. Because why couldn’t he just cope.

Kaeya quickly walked out of the office, a knight saw him and Kaeya plastered on a fake smile, “Just going out to get some fresh air. Perhaps I should try to convince Jean to move my office elsewhere.” 

The knight simply chuckled and went on their own way. Kaeya let out a sad sigh and began to walk. It was now evening, and it had almost been twenty four hours since Diluc had uttered those words: 

“I do not have a brother and have never had one.” 

And why did the pain still hurt the same? Wasn’t time supposed to heal him or something like that? Because that’s what he always had to do: cope. The day he spoke the truth, that had hurt, but time had forced him to cope. Time had forced him to wake up time and time after again, take pieces of the pain and throw them away. That’s what he had to do: cope. That’s what he had always done. 

So why couldn’t he now? Because that's the thing: Kaeya took the pain of the world - he interalized it. Because unlike a certain red-haired brother, Kaeya didn’t take out his anger on others (usually), he’d take it out on himself. The anger would sit in his heart and slowly but surely bubble into pain that chipped away at his soul. But, as always, he’d cope. So why couldn’t he now?

Kaeya shook his head and quickly walked wherever his feet would take him. Funnily enough, he ended up at Mondstadt’s pigeon restaurant- it hadn’t opened yet. The pigeons were simply sitting there, probably waiting for Timmie to arrive. Kaeya let out a sigh and looked at them. 

It was funny, how at times he was jealous of birds. He was jealous because they could do nothing but eat bread all day- no paperwork. He was jealous that their biggest worry was wondering whether they should wait for the bread to cool down before they ate it. He was jealous that the biggest decision that these birds ever had to make was whether they wanted to eat the crumb of bread now, or if they should peck empty ground for no reason and eat it later. He was jealous that their biggest conflict ended when another crumb of bread was thrown. 

But, mostly, he was jealous, for these birds were the ones chosen by the world. Mondstadt was their home and they had been welcomed to it. The birds and their flight were free. Kaeya was bound, whether to Mondstadt or Khaenri'ah, he’d always be bound. Bound to secrets, and to a world that did not accept him. Because no matter what he did or did not do , he’d always be a traitor at least to one side. 

“Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor.” 

He felt the sprinkle of tears and shook his head. No, he had to be strong. And so, Kaeya stared at the pigeons; he refused to think about the pain. Imagine that, instead of spying on Mondstadt or instead of keeping watch of the Fatui, here Kaeya was watching pigeons. No offense to Timmie, but there wasn’t really anything special about pigeons; they also weren’t the smartest creature around. This was only confirmed as Kaeya watched a pigeon peck endlessly at -well, nothing. 

But then, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something on a tree not too far away. Seemingly a glitter of metal. That “something” turned out to be a nest. Of course, he wasn’t sure if one could call it a “nest.” Yes, there were some branches, some sticks, but amongst them were also pieces of leaves, scraps of metal (probably from Wagner’s shop), broken jewelry, pieces of lamp grass, dandelion seeds and just random things. 

It was strange, but as Kaeya looked at the nest, so unorganized, so random and not perfect in any sense at all, Kaeya felt a sense of home. They were all pieces of Mondstadt. The broken jewelry held a story, the leaves had been blessed by the freeing winds of Mondstadt. 

He saw something moving within the nest and to his surprise, he saw a little bird sitting in the nest. He watched it carefully, as it slowly fluffed its wings and began to slowly flap its wings. Kaeya quickly raced towards the tree, he was pretty sure this bird was going to try to fly. Was he really growing attached to these random birds? Yes, he was. 

As he got closer, he realized there were two “somethings” in total. There behind it was another little bird, this one fast asleep. 

The little brave bird let out a small cheep and looked towards the edge. Then stepped back, seemingly afraid. Kaeya looked around, the bridge was empty. And so, he spoke. 

“Hey, don’t be afraid little one, I’m here.”  

Was he really talking to birds now too? Yes. Oh, how embarrassing. Young Diluc would have probably made fun of him. But right now, he didn’t care. He just wanted this little bird to fly. 

The little bird, who had seemingly heard him, slowly walked towards the nest and Kaeya, who was ready just in case, watched. The bird let out a final cheep (as though it was a victory cheep) and then, the bird took a leap of faith.

 And Kaeya watched as the bird flew, the blessing of the wind guiding its path. Though the bird did not fly too far before landing back to the nest, it had still flown, now seemingly singing a song to celebrate its flight. Now annoying the other “something” and trying to brag probably. This little bird reminded him of little Diluc - that bragging overachiever! The other “something” was now sitting, not ready to fly yet, and that was okay, Kaeya realized. His heart was thundering. Sadness glistened within, but so did a stream of sunlight that waved cautiously through the dense leaves.  

And Kaeya watched the nest, the pang of sadness slowly grew, and it was at that moment Kaeya felt the sadness of a hundred storms. He didn’t know why these two birds were reminding him of himself and Diluc, but somehow the memories lingered. 

He really felt the hurt of those words his brother had uttered yesterday. The words that had been said all those years. The words that hadn’t been said all those years. He felt the pain slowly swarm within him. Despite all this, the ray of sunlight was still weaving through the branches. 

“Ah, Kaeya, I wasn’t expecting to see you here!” A voice cheered behind him. 

“Acting Grand Master Jean,” Kaeya said with a tired smile quickly trying to blink away any tears and fix his mask that had slipped. 

Jean, who had always been able to read him, quickly had concern in her eyes.

“Kaeya, are you okay?” 

What if we took chances on ourselves? Kaeya looked at her, and took a hop (he wasn’t ready for a leap) of faith. 

He slowly shook his head. 

“Oh, Kaeya,” Jean whispered, “Do you want to talk about it or-”

Kaeya shook his head, “No,” he croaked. Not yet . Maybe one day, but for now he just really wanted a hug. 

‘That’s okay,” Jean whispered and hugged him (maybe Klee was right, maybe Jean really was a mind-reader). 

Kaeya finally felt the emotions of the years slowly rise within his soul and fall as tears.

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

As always, time continues to pass. Of course, there were times he felt embarrassed about how basically watching two birds have a better relationship than him and his brother had made him cry in front of his boss. Yet at the same time. Jean was his friend. There was some sense of peace, some sense of the weight on his shoulders being lifted. Or, perhaps a lot of weight lifted from his shoulders. Yet, at the same time, the world was cruel, and the lifted weight only evaporated to be a dark cloud looming above him now. 

Some days were good.

Others were okay. Others alright. Some were downright horrible. 

But Kaeya got through them, by a strength he did not know he had. 

He and Diluc still seemed so far away, but perhaps he was growing accustomed to it. 

As Kaeya walked towards the tree near the bridge, he gazed at the little bird who still hadn’t flown. The “Diluc” bird stayed by its side the entire time, but the other bird still refused to fly away from the nest. 

Just like how you haven’t moved on. 

Kaeya had told Timmie (and the rest of the Mondstadt Pigeon Lovers Association - of course) about the birds, and they had set up different times to “guard” them. They also changed their meeting location to conventionally be by the tree. 

As Kaeya walked towards the tree, he saw Timmie standing there looking at the bird, alongside him were Klee and Bennett. 

“Brother Kaeya!” they cried running towards him. As Kaeya reached the tree Bennett spoke, “We’re worried, that bird still hasn’t flown yet! We’re scared it’ll be left behind.” 

A memory slowly lingered within his mind. 

It was before he had come to Mondstadt. Before Master Crepus had adopted him. Before Master Crepus had taken a chance on him. Before Kaeya had felt the winds of freedom in the outside world. Before Kaeya had found a home in the world he was meant to destroy. 

“Father!” Kaeya had cried as he followed his father through the depths of Khaenri'ah. 

Kaeya didn’t really know why everything was happening, but all he knew was that he had a mission to fulfill and that today was the first part of the mission. 

He still wasn’t sure what exactly would happen or what he would do, but the looks from those around him and the sense of pride in his father’s eye told him everything he needed to know: it was time for him to leave his home. 

He watched as his father grabbed him by the hand and continued walking quickly- there was no time to waste. “Father!” Kaeya sobbed, “I don’t want to leave! I want to stay here!” 

His father stopped for a moment to look at him, “This world is meant for the strong.” 

This didn’t help Kaeya at all, who grew seemingly sadder every second. “Kaeya, you are our hope. This is something you must do, not for yourself, but for us. If you cannot be strong for yourself, then you must be strong for us.” 

Kaeya simply nodded, yet his heart was not there.  His father continued, “only the strong can keep moving forward.” Kaeya had followed the footsteps, but his mind did not listen. All he had heard were the footsteps on the ground and the crying of his heart. 

The memory slowly faded away, and Kaeya was back to the present.  Now, Kaeya knew his father was just trying to help, trying to make little Kaeya strong. But, why did he have to be strong? What’s wrong with comfort? Seriously, couldn’t Kaeya just cry alone in peace? Well, he probably would have gotten lost back then - Khaenri'ah  to Mondstadt was no easy journey.

 But that aside, why was the world so cruel to those that needed love the most? 

Ah, the world was such a slacker. 

Kaeya looked at the little bird, nestled and sound asleep, and perhaps, unlike himself, Kaeya spoke in a soft voice: “Don’t be worried. Everything will be okay. And even if things aren't- we'll be here.”

Kaeya looked at the little bird nestled and asleep and smiled, a real smile. 

Once Kaeya had returned to work, instead of working, as he should have, he instead decided to clean out his entire office. He was a captain after all - surely he could choose to do what he wanted. Though, perhaps he was avoiding paperwork, like always. Though, one could also argue that a captain must always be organized, so he was simply making sure everything was as it should be.

As he sifted through papers (most of which he had written throughout the years), a certain paper with angry ink caught his attention. Eroch. The inspector had not liked Kaeya at all, and had made no effort to try and hide it. He’d make snide remarks, always nitpicking what Kaeya had done or, more often, what Kaeya had not done. But, as always, Kaeya was expected to shrug it off, and cope . 

Though, there had been one nasty day that lingered within his mind for a long time. It had etched its way into Kaeya’s soul and stayed there for a while.

It was when Kaeya had first become the cavalry captain- not too long after Diluc left. Kaeya had suddenly gone from being a knight to being a captain that had to know everything. And Kaeya knew, Kaeya knew that he was only the captain because Diluc had left. But for some reason, Eroch had decided to remind Kaeya of that every single second of every single day. It was horrid. Kaeya had always been on edge, always trying his best to prove that he was worthy, and there he was, the amazing Eroch, ready to tear down Kaeya every chance he got. Seriously, Eroch may have hated Kaeya more than Kaeya hated himself - and that was saying something. 

Yet, there was one day in particular that Sir Kaeya had messed up. Actually, it may have even been the first time Kaeya had led a team. Perhaps even the first week of his new “promotion.” 

Chaos had been everywhere, and Kaeya was expected to deal with it all. That’s the job of a captain after all. Jean was busy as well, and so Kaeya had to assemble and lead the knights towards the camps - and to put it simply- it did not go well. It did not go well at all. 

Mistakes were made and Kaeya was the one making the majority of them. Of course, who could blame him? Eroch, that’s who. The team had come back, thankfully everyone was okay, but the mission was not a success, it was disorganized and things did not go as planned. 

Though the knights did not say it, Kaeya had known with one look into their eyes. 

Diluc would have never messed up like this. Diluc wouldn’t have been so pathetic. 

A team is only as good as their leader, and just like Eroch had said, Kaeya was unqualified. Kaeya was inadequate. Kaeya was an imposter, a spy, who had somehow made it to a place he did not belong, fooled the people around him into thinking he did. 

As the knights had walked back to the headquarters, Eroch was there, perhaps on his break. And with one look Kaeya knew that he was about to be in trouble. As Kaeya had walked quietly back into his office, head held down, and feeling as though he was not worthy enough for a visit to the cathedral. He began working on the report for this mission. He’d finish it, write on what to improve and then just go on with his life. Of course Eroch wouldn’t let that happen, and moments later had stormed into Kaeya’s office while Kaeya was still writing. 

“Kaeya,” Eroch had said, not hiding the disgust from his voice. 

“Yes?” Kaeya had replied trying to hide the fear from his now wavering voice. 

“Yes Sir,” Eroch had corrected. 

Kaeya silently panicked, he should have known better, “Yes sir?” 

“Today, it was not bad,” Eroch had started, then slammed his hands onto the desk, “It was horrible!” 

Kaeya stared blankly as Eroch had screamed. “Seriously, what is wrong with you?” Eroch started, “Are you not able to do something as simple as clearing out a camp? Kaeya, you should know how to do this. You’ve done this a million times.” 

“Sorry, sir, I made a mistake,” Kaeya had whispered. 

“A mistake?” Eroch had scoffed, seemingly growing angrily each second. Then, he grabbed the paperwork from Kaeya’s hand and ripped it to shreds.

“I’ll write this one, I don't want you making any more mistakes. I’ll be kind enough to show this to Varka as well. Maybe then Varka will realize that the only mistake he made was thinking you’d ever be half as good as your brother.” 

Eroch later slammed the door, and Kaeya sat there in silence for a few seconds. 

He got up, and as he had walked outside, he had heard Eroch loudly say to the other knights, staring grimly at Kaeya: “Seriously, when is Sir Diluc coming back?” Kaeya walked towards the door as the other knights laughed. 

As Kaeya finally made it to the part of the city that was silent, he sat there and let the tears slowly fall. Seconds later he had no choice but to wipe them away, and go back to work. 

Kaeya had ended up “borrowing” the paper before it could have ever reached Varka (just a quick grammar check), and then had “forgotten” to return it to the pile - what? A captain had a pretty busy schedule after all... 

Present day Kaeya looked at the paper, time did not mar the pain of that day. Ghost of tears pricked as Kaeya stared at the paper. Eroch’s angry writing scattered on the page, phrases such as “not as capable as..” or “needs a lot of improvement.” Though Eroch had also written pretty badly about Diluc as well, surprisingly. And then Eroch ended up being a traitor so hah- Kaeya did end up getting the last laugh. 

Diluc POV 

It was strange. Strange at how fast time seemed to move while the world only seemed to slow down. It was strange how easily the world would move on. 

Because when Diluc saw Kaeya, it hurt. It hurt because Kaeya seemed so happy. And no, Diluc, though what others may think, did not wish ill on his former little brother. It was great that Kaeya was doing well. It’s just that a part of him, deep within his soul, hurts. It hurt that Kaeya was doing so well without him. 

It wasn’t a hurt that was felt on the surface, it was a pain that tinged at his soul and bit away at the memories. Because it hurt that perhaps Diluc was the only problem in Kaeya’s life. 

It hurt that Diluc still lingered for a past so deeply that was not meant for him anymore. 

And so, when he watched Kaeya’s easy smile, the new glimmer in his eye as the captain hung out with his new “siblings”, Diluc couldn’t hide the pain. 

Because once upon a time it was them. It was all fake though wasn’t it? That traitor would say anything to be in the good books! 

But was it all really fake? 

Memories drifted and swirled. 

It hadn’t been too long since Kaeya had first set foot into his new home, but it had been enough time. Diluc, as always, had been very attentive. Of course, some people may have read this as overprotective, but Diluc didn’t care. This was his little brother and he was going to make sure everything was perfect for him. 

So, when Kaeya’s teacher had yelled at little Kaeya for messing up the words both Father and Diluc had totally reacted with absolute kindness and compassion towards the bitter teacher. Or well, at least Adelinde had agreed- they’re reaction was “appropriate given the situation”. 

Now, Diluc and Father had taken on the task of teaching young Kaeya. 

Kaeya flipped through the book, looking at the pictures so mesmerized with joy. In particular, Kaeya was mesmerized by the books that had the happiest endings. As a matter of fact, Kaeya would flip to the end of any book he picked up, and would make sure the ending was happy. Diluc always thought that Kaeya was just reading wrong, but never told him.

“Luc! Luc!” Kaeya had said so excitedly, and Diluc, who had read the same book a million times, would pretend he didn’t know what came next, all so that Kaeya could be even more excited.

Perhaps, one of the things that Kaeya adored the most were the concept of wishes. 

And so, when Kaeya had learned that if he made a wish on his birthday, it just had to come true (Diluc had proof - had wished for a cup of grape juice and it had appeared later that day) he began to think. 

 Kaeya had become surprisingly stressed. When Diluc asked, Kaeya would simply tell Diluc that his wish had to be absolutely perfect. 

“Why don’t you wish for that chess set that we saw in the shop the other day,” Father had said to Kaeya. 

Kaeya shook his head, “No! My wish needs to be perfect. Are you sure I can't just wish for more wishes? Where's the book for this?” 

“I know,” Diluc had said while trying to sneak a piece of the cake, “Why don’t you wish that you’ll be able to win a chess game against me without cheating.” 

“Hey! I don’t cheat!” Kaeya said angry, and went to kick Diluc. Diluc cackled. 

Master Crepus had cleared his throat and both of them had quieted, as Kaeya went back to thinking. 

“Wait, I got it!” Kaeya had said, and then spoke: 

“I wish everyone the most joyful joys and the happiest happiness!” 

Diluc had gotten mad at Kaeya for wasting his wish on something so meaningless and not wishing anything for himself (it was Kaeya’s birthday after all -now Kaeya would have to wait a whole year to make another wish), but Kaeya had simply laughed a joyful laugh.  

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

Diluc still remembers the day when he had first gotten his Vision.

It was burning, it was brilliant, it was blazing.

It was breathtaking. 

 That day Father’s eyes had been beaming with pride and so much joy and Diluc felt as though he had the Sun within his palms. That the world was spinning around him, so mesmerized by the gleaming light. And the truth is, perhaps it was true. Father had been so happy actually, Diluc was pretty sure he had seen tears in his father’s eyes, and Diluc had been oh so happy. 

But with great power comes great responsibility. Master Crepus had instilled this after the joy of the vision had faded, and Diluc had begun to train. 

And no matter what, no matter how tired he felt he’d take one look at his father, who’d either be reading or sitting in his office, working on something, and all of the tiredness would fade. Because the Archons had not just given Diluc a Vision, they had given his Father one too. 

Like a flicker of a match that would ignite a fireplace, Diluc would be energized. He would make his father proud. Just as his father had said, Diluc would make himself worthy of the Ragnvindr name.  Diluc would do this, he would do this for him. 

“Son, I am proud of you.” 

If only he had been able to do that. If only Diluc could have been half the person his Father was. 

Because it was the way that Father beamed with pride that made Diluc want to work harder.

The way that Father would excitedly tell the others how proud he was of his son at every event. And Diluc would be sitting somewhere not too far away, pretending not to listen, and trying to hide the sheer joy. 

To Diluc, that was his whole world, or at least it had been, until Kaeya came along.

Father had told Diluc that he had a responsibility far greater than any Vision, than any business transaction: being Kaeya’s brother. And Diluc didn’t need his father to tell him that; Diluc had pretty much figured all that out that rainy day when he had first met Kaeya. Because that day, another flame had ignited within him.

It was then, when Father would excitedly tell the others how proud he was of his sons. 

And then both Diluc and Kaeya would be sitting somewhere not too far away, pretending not to listen, and sharing excited glances while trying not to laugh with pure joy. 

It was then, Diluc realized that he had found his universe. It was that day Diluc realized that his world did not revolve around the Sun within his palms. And he would never admit it, not in words. 

 His little brother and father, they were his  everything. And he would do anything to protect them. 

And Diluc messed up both things. Not even messed up, completely obliterated (both figuratively and literally- yikes ). 

“ And you’ve changed a lot. Hmm, I wonder what Father would think, “ 

His little brother that he swore to protect had said that. And if only the truth could just be less glaring in Diluc’s face. 

Diluc failed his Father. Diluc failed his little brother. Diluc had failed his family. His universe. And what remained in the present was simply retribution. If only he had been stronger back then. If only he had been better. If only he had been more like Father.  Because in the end on that rainy day, he only ended up hurting both of them. 

Diluc shook his head, attending back the dimly lit tavern. Though the dimness of the lights and the dark cloudy skies did not define the environment within; patrons were laughing, cheering, the bard playing songs and speaking poems (and bothering him for a free drink). 

Yet, a certain blue-headed captain had not arrived. Not that Diluc cared or anything. Not that Diluc had made him a drink or anything. No, not at all, Diluc was simply knowledgeable about his consumer base and had prepared drinks ahead of time to efficiently save time and produce. Yes that was it. 

Diluc let out a sigh, and the thunder crackled. Pyro did not work well in the rain. 

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya still remembers the day when he had first gotten his Vision. 

It was burning. 

It was brutal. 

It was raining that day, too. 

Kaeya, though he would often hide it, absolutely hated being late. He’d avoid it at all costs. Because there was only one thing Kaeya had actually (not intentionally- what, he liked to make an entrance) been late for. And it had cost him. It had cost him everything. Or atleast, it had cost Kaeya his everything. 

Kaeya remembered running that day, only to be late by mere moments. Only to realize how cruel this world really was to a traitor like him. 

Kaeya looked into the thunder filled skies and let out a sigh as he trenched through the mud. He had sent the knights home (though that probably meant a trip to the taverns for most of them) and was only finishing up now. Oh well, at least Cryo works better in the rain. 

It was late now, wasn’t it? The tavern would be closing by now, if not closed already. But, Kaeya still walked anyway, not sure what led him, or perhaps he did know.

When Kaeya got to the tavern, he was surprisingly incorrect. Though it was true that the majority of the seats were empty with Charles busy cleaning the table and a few sole patrons passing out by the tables. Yet, there was Diluc was cleaning a glass and looking as happy as he always did (which for reference was not happy at all). 

“Ah, look who decided to join us,” Diluc grumbled. 

Kaeya laughed, “Good evening, Master Diluc,” his mask slowly starting to appear. 

Diluc POV 

Though Diluc did not say it, there was a sense of relief as the ringing bell signaled the return of his former brother.

Though Diluc did not show any of this ‘sense of relief’ as he slammed the drink onto the table, sneering as his former brother sat directly in front of him- seriously there were so many other tables available. How annoying! 

“Master Diluc, may I please have-”
Diluc let out an annoyed huff, “I know what you will have, but I’m afraid the bard took your drink,” gesturing towards the bard who seemed to be fast asleep. Of course, Diluc did realize he had accidentally told Kaeya that he had saved something for him, but luckily, his former brother was well, his brother and didn’t notice. 

Diluc placed the remaining type of drink onto the table, though it was not Kaeya’s favorite, he ought to be grateful. 

Kaeya pouted and took a sip and glared at the drink with a (obviously fake) disgusted look. Diluc rolled his eyes.

 “Is it not ‘the early bird gets the worm’ or something like that?” Diluc spoke, hoping the bird analogy would make sense to Kaeya who was seemingly turning into some chicken farm. 

Kaeya POV

Kaeya took another sip of his drink, not taking any time to hide his disgust (in fact he amplified it- what? Diluc’s reactions are still funny), then replied to Diluc’s question after some needless pondering, “Ah, yes that is true Master Diluc, but the late worm is the one that survives, is it not?” 

To Kaeya’s surprise, Diluc had let out a small chuckle, and Kaeya had seen a small smile on his former brother’s face.

“You are ridiculous Sir Kaeya. I have no clue how the knights run with you as their captain.”

And maybe, just maybe, those words would have hurt. 

But Diluc was laughing even if it was for a mere second. And that was everything . That was enough. That was something. Kaeya made his brother laugh. Even if it was because of how pathetic Diluc thought he was (it was definitely not a nice chuckle- more of a laughing at you, rather than with you type of chuckle). Still, Kaeya didn’t care. He felt tears rimming but quickly drank them away. 

Kaeya had made his brother laugh. 

Diluc POV 

Diluc slowly continued to clean the tavern, keeping an eye on the captain, making sure he didn’t go overboard. Soon, Diluc decided that Kaeya had had enough, not because he cared about Kaeya or anything-he just wanted to make sure the tavern’s supply wasn’t wasted. 

“Hey, Sir Kaeya?” Diluc said, shaking the captain who was dozing off ever so slightly. 

“Yes, Master Diluc?” The captain had slurred. 

“It’s time to go. Try not to be so late next time,” Diluc had said with no emotion in his voice, but guilt ever so present in his eyes. This was his fault. 

“Oh,” the captain said, looking at his wrist, for a watch he was not wearing. The captain suddenly began to walk. 

“Oh, Lu- Diluc, Master Diluc” the captain slurred looking back, correcting himself immediately. Hurt rang through Diluc, because had he really scared his brother so much? 

“I’m sorry for being late.” 

Diluc let out a grumble, and didn’t reply. 

The ball rang and the door closed with an ever so quiet thud as the captain walked out of the tavern. 

Diluc paused and stared at the door.

For some strange reason, it felt like Kaeya wasn’t talking about today. 

Diluc stared at the tavern door, moments passed and as soon as he was about to look away the emotions settling into the air, the tavern door rang again. Diluc was shocked to see that it was not his brother, as a matter of fact it was his brother's new brother alongside Grace. He looked at them for a mere moment, and then realization hit him as he saw a (very badly built) birdhouse in Timmie's hands. 

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

Diluc stared as Timmie alongside Grace walked into the tavern looking around, “Brother Kaeya! Brother Kaeya!” 

Diluc grumbled, “Your “brother” just left.” 

Timmie, who was now still stressed and looking for Kaeya, dropped the birdhouse that he was carrying. Honestly, it didn’t really make that much of a difference Diluc thought. 

Grace walked towards Timmie who was now wiping his tears. 

Timmie looked at Diluc and started crying even more. Where was Kaeya when Diluc actually needed him? 

 Diluc let out a sigh. Yet, despite not showing any emotions, Diluc felt the sadness lingering within him. Because right now, no matter how much he tried not to care, he couldn’t help but care. Because right now the memories of Little Kaeya were floating around. It was as though the past had become the present. 

Diluc looked at Timmie and said, “There’s no need to cry.”

“What’s wrong with crying?” Timmie retorted. 

Diluc stood there silently, at a loss for words. 

Timmie, content with the lack of reply, went back to wiping away his tears. 

Diluc slowly walked towards the now fallen birdhouse, picked up the pieces and placed them on the table. 

Timmie followed and stared at the birdhouse, “Look! Everything is ruined now.” 

“What were you trying to do?” 

Timmie, still wiping away tears, “I was trying to make a birdhouse and I needed some help and we thought Brother Kaeya was here, and I messed up and everything is broken and…” 

“Hey,” Diluc spoke in a soft voice, “Let’s see if we can fix this, okay?” It was strange, how memories would swirl and drift and how quickly they could become reality once again. Timmie nodded and Grace sent Diluc a grateful smile. 

Diluc looked at Charles who simply nodded and brought the supplies. 

“Why are you making this?” Diluc asked as they worked on fixing the wooden birdhouse. 

“There’s a bird that hasn’t been able to fly yet. I’m making a birdhouse so that the bird can have a home.” 

Ah yes, Diluc had heard all about it. Of course, it was pretty hard to miss as the fowl-farmers or the pigeon protection club would speak about it non-stop. 

There was a lot of work to do, and Diluc had no clue how to build a pigeon house. But, Diluc did know, despite everything, how to be a big brother. And so, they began to work on the bird house. 

Diluc looked at the wooden house, it was now actually starting to look like something. 

Diluc remembered all the times when Kaeya would need help with something, and it felt so natural to be a brother again. Of course Diluc would never say it. But right now, he really missed Kaeya. Talking to Timmie had reminded him of Kaeya, it had reminded him of those memories that they once shared. 

As if on cue, Timmie spoke, “Brother Kaeya talks about you a lot by the way.” 

Diluc looked away from the birdhouse for a split second. “Hm?” 

“Yes, he talks about you all the time.” 

“Oh.” Diluc said. He could not get emotional right now. 

Timmie, who did not know this then asked: “Why did you stop being brothers?” 

Diluc flinched, and continued working on the birdhouse. 

Timmie continued, “Brother Kaeya said that you two used to be brothers but not anymore. But you can be brothers again. I think that would make him really happy.” Diluc let out a sad sigh, if only he knew. Because Diluc knew that he had made Kaeya’s life miserable that horrid day. There was no chance for forgiveness. 

“Sometimes, things fall apart.” Diluc solemnly spoke. 

“Yes,” Timmie said, “like the birdhouse. But look at it now!” Timmie spoke. Diluc stared at the birdhouse, honestly it was bad before, and it was a little less bad now, but Diluc didn’t say anything about it. 

Timmie continued,  “He said that you two got into a fight. Why don’t you just say sorry to him?" 

“I would if I could,” Diluc said and his eyes widened, he didn’t know why he had spoken the truth. It had been a really tiring day. 

“What’s stopping you?” Timmie asked. 

And perhaps Diluc would have been mad, would have been angry that, of course Diluc was the villain. Yet this time, with sentiments looming within the air, he merely whispered, “Monsters aren’t forgiven.” 

Timmie, who had surprisingly heard, replied nonchalantly, “A monster would never look for forgiveness in the first place. A monster would never actually feel bad.”  

“What?” Diluc spoke in a mere whisper. Perhaps he was talking more to himself. 

“Redemption.” Timmie replied, “Isn’t that what you always say?” 

Diluc stood there in silence. Retribution was not redemption. Yet, how cruel the world was, to give Diluc so many chances while Kaeya wasn’t even given one.  

“Ah, not exactly,” Diluc had spoken, and before he could explain, Timmie spoke again.

“But you are still looking for forgiveness, right? True forgiveness. A monster would never even think about that, so at least you’re trying. You’re trying to be better.  Maybe you are someone that just makes mistakes.” 

And then Diluc spoke, “I didn’t make a mistake- I don’t make mistakes.” 

“Sure you do! Everyone makes mistakes. At least you are trying to be better!” 

But was he really? Was Diluc really trying to be better? Or was it just the guilt? Diluc worked in silence alongside everyone. 

Because Diluc would deny it, time and time again. But he missed Kaeya so dearly. He missed being his brother. Being the person Kaeya could count on. But the time it mattered the most, Diluc had messed up. Diluc kept working. 

Soon, the birdhouse was finished, and honestly, it wasn’t too bad. 

“You can put this in the tree tomorrow, okay?” Diluc had said, his voice soft as he handed the birdhouse to Timmie. 

“Thank you so much Mister Diluc! Hey, you’re not actually as scary as everyone says you are!”

Diluc tried to smile as he waved goodbye to Grace and Timmie. As the door softly closed, Diluc sulked, did everyone really think he was scary? 

Kaeya POV 

The next day Kaeya had woken up with a headache, the apologies of the day before forgotten. 

Instead, as he walked towards the bridge during the early morning, he smiled softly as he 

saw Timmie standing by the tree all looking at something. “Brother Kaeya!” Timmie yelled, “Look at this!” 

As he got closer he saw what it was: a birdhouse. He was amazed. 

“Timmie, did you do that?” Kaeya spoke with awe and smiled, “That’s amazing.” 

“Thank you! But I didn’t do it on my own, Mister Diluc helped me!” 

Kaeya’s smile disappeared for a mere moment as his eye widened with shock. “Oh?” he simply had said. 

“I ended up messing up so I went to the tavern but he said you left and then he helped me fix the birdhouse!” Timmie had spoken, watching as the bird slowly walked towards the birdhouse. 

Kaeya stood there frozen, thoughts swirling in his mind. Because why? Why would Diluc do something like this? Was this revenge? 

“Sir Kaeya,” a knight had said running towards them. Kaeya looked away, and sighed, he’d think about it later. He had work to do. After waving goodbye to Timmie, he began the walk towards his office. 

Diluc POV 

It was strange, because for the first time in a very very long time, Diluc felt a sense of hope. A sense of maybe things can get fixed. A sense of joy, perhaps. Because perhaps for the first time in a very very very very long time, Diluc was excited for his former brother to walk through the tavern doors. 

Kaeya POV 

As the afternoon sun shone across the sky, Kaeya’s mind kept thinking back, because why? Why would Diluc do something like that? And perhaps, there was a part of Kaeya’s soul that had broken. Because of course Diluc was so much better. Of course he was.

 Diluc could build a birdhouse, Kaeya didn’t even know how to do that. 

Of course Diluc was so much better. Everyone knew that they could count on perfect Diluc. 

This was just affirmation: Diluc was just so much better, so much smarter,  and a better brother than Kaeya could ever be. What was Kaeya in comparison to the Sun? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Kaeya, no matter how much he tried, was just never enough. 

No, Kaeya shook his head. No he couldn’t think like this. This wasn’t him. Kaeya shook his head. These thoughts weren’t his. He couldn’t think like that. He couldn’t afford to think like this. 

It was always Diluc. Was this Diluc's revenge? 

No, the truth was: Diluc had helped Timmie. Diluc had shown Kaeya’s brother kindness. That was something. He wasn’t going to replace Kaeya as Timmie’s new brother. Maybe Diluc wasn’t as bad as he seemed. Kaeya felt the ghost of pain through his palms. Diluc was kind to those that weren’t traitors. 

As Kaeya walked towards the tavern, long before it was time to open, he repeated this to himself. He didn’t let the hurt of the birds flying away from him as he walked, seemingly running away from his presence. He would go there, thank Diluc for the help. Thank Diluc for being a much better brother. 

And so, as Kaeya walked towards the dimly lit tavern. “Master Diluc," Kaeya spoke, his voice void of any emotion. 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

“Master Diluc, please stay away from my family.” Kaeya had spoken. 

Oops, he didn’t mean to say that. 

Diluc POV 

Diluc’s eyes widened as he heard the whisper of venom from his former brother’s mouth. Ever since Kaeya was little, he would do unexpected things. But, after being his brother for years and years, Diluc could pretty much predict or atleast have a good guess of what Kaeya would do. 

Ever since coming back to Mondstadt, Diluc had realized that he could no longer predict what Kaeya would do, or what Kaeya would say. Or at least not as well as he used to be able to. Perhaps that was simply the retribution of the sins he had done. Because perhaps that marked how Diluc was no longer Kaeya’s brother, no longer had his family. Diluc had accepted that. Diluc should have known that things could not change. Diluc should have known that he was not worthy of forgiveness. 

But, as Diluc looked at the mixture of anger and shock within Kaeya, he was not able to say anything. He was not able to ask for forgiveness, an explanation or anything. Instead, Diluc simply looked at him with shock, and merely spoke, in a voice so broken and shattered: “Pardon?” 

Because this couldn’t be it. The entire world could not have revolved just for all of his hope to be shattered. Because there had to be a chance. 

Kaeya POV 

When Diluc was young, Kaeya had always been comforted by him. Because the way Diluc would express his emotions would bring such a sense of comfort Kaeya did not know he was seeking. Because Little Diluc had been so easy for Little Kaeya to read. Diluc’s emotions were ever so present on his face, no matter how hard he tried to hide them. Or atleast, to Kaeya it was clear. 

Because Kaeya could simply tell by looking at Diluc, how he was feeling. 

And even then, Diluc would rarely get mad. Yet, Kaeya could read him. Kaeya could read the forced smile Diluc would wear when talking to Eroch. The admiration in his eyes as Father would tell them stories. 

Because as a whole: 

He had been so happy.  

Because there was a time when Diluc had been oh-so happy.

There was a time when they both were oh-so happy.  

When Diluc returned to Mondstadt, Kaeya had been confused by him. Because how could a person show such little emotions? How could a person show such little emotions and so much hate? 

How could someone show such little emotions, and oh-so much anger. Because Kaeya would take one look at Diluc’s eyes and fear would overwhelm him. His palms would burn, his entire body would feel the ghost of pain that seemed too real. Because there was so much anger, so much hate, and it honestly scared Kaeya. 

But now, when Kaeya looked at Diluc, at this very moment, it was so clear. Because right now, Diluc looked oh-so broken and hurt, and Kaeya had to blink back tears. 

This was the olive branch, wasn’t it? Maybe, just maybe this was their chance for forgiveness. 

Kaeya felt all the anger that surrounded him disappear.

This wasn’t him. This wasn’t Kaeya, this wasn’t who he was. This was not Kaeya, this was not him. 

And, as Kaeya looked at his former brother’s eyes, he saw the shock and hurt. Kaeya had messed up, he had let his emotions get a hold of him.

And so, Kaeya looked at Diluc, and simply lowered his head, “My apologies Master Diluc, I-” he paused looking up to look Diluc in the eyes, “I don’t know what got ahold of me.” Kaeya paused and scratched his head, “I just wanted to say, um, thank you for helping Timmie with his birdhouse. I wasn’t there- so I appreciate it.” 

And in a split second, that sadness within Diluc’s eye was gone so quickly, Kaeya thought he may have just imagined it. Because mere moments later that sadness was long gone, replaced with those angry eyes Kaeya knew and hated. 

“Maybe I wouldn’t have had to help if you weren’t such a pathetic brother .” Diluc spat out. 

"You're one to talk." Kaeya snapped coldly. Yikes, he had said that without thinking. 

Kaeya couldn’t help but grimace. Of course Kaeya would always mess up everything. The world had given him a chance at forgiveness, and Kaeya had messed that up too. Just like how Kaeya had messed up being a son. Just like how Kaeya had messed up being a spy. Just like how Kaeya had messed up being a brother. 

Diluc POV 

 Diluc couldn’t really argue with Kaeya. It was true, Diluc was a bad brother. There was no argument, no retribution, nothing but the truth. 

As Diluc looked at the guilt within Kaeya’s eye. He felt bad. He felt horrible. 

No! Kaeya is a traitor! He deserves it! 

No, no. Diluc’s mind raced. Kaeya didn’t deserve it. 

It was strange how Kaeya would change so quickly. Because that anger within Kaeya disappeared in mere seconds and then Kaeya spoke in a voice so quiet, “ I ’m sorry.” 

Of course the traitor would be sorry!

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya felt sadness loom, because why had he said that. No, it wasn’t right of him. Yet, all he could do now was simply apologize. “Master Diluc, I am sorry but please don’t-” But before he could say that, Diluc interjected. 

“What? Don’t tell them that you’re a traitor?” 

And perhaps what was the most hurtful part was the lack of anger in Diluc’s voice. Because for some reason, in Kaeya's pathetic mind, it felt as though Diluc spoke with genuine concern. 

Diluc actually seriously thought that Kaeya was a traitor. And that it wasn’t just a fit of anger, or a “bad day.” Instead Kaeya’s former brother genuinely thought he was a traitor. And that hurt much more than Kaeya ever would have expected it to. 

At that moment, Kaeya’s world froze for a mere second. Because of course. Of course Diluc would think that. Kaeya had not given him any reason to think otherwise, right? Because Kaeya being his brother was not enough. All those years were not enough. 

And it was with such sadness that Kaeya realized within the tavern, that he was no longer here. 

Times are different now. 

Yet, Kaeya was still the same. But the world around him, different. 

“No,” Kaeya spoke, his voice a mere whisper.  Because Kaeya did not care how much the world hated him, Diluc looked at him with disgust. Kaeya could handle all that. He had gotten used to it. 

 “Please don’t be mad at them .” 

Because Kaeya could not even begin to think about what would happen if that hatred was sent towards his siblings instead. Kaeya wouldn’t be able to handle it . 

Please don’t be mad at Timmie. Please don’t be mean to my siblings. Please don’t be mean to my family.

“What?” Diluc had said his voice strained, it was clear that he wasn’t expecting that answer. 

“Timmie and the others.” Kaeya said solemnly, “They didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the pathetic one.” 

Diluc POV 

Diluc knew that he had messed up once again. And he did not know why, time after time he was so mean, so angry. Diluc knew he should have apologized, yet he couldn’t bring himself to. 

Yet, hearing Kaeya call himself pathetic hurt Diluc more than he ever thought it would. 

Because that was his baby brother. 

Out of shock, Diluc had simply spoken: “What?” It wasn’t a question to Kaeya, simply Diluc’s shock swirling within the air. 

 Because time after time again Diluc would be cruel to Kaeya, and each time Diluc would realize how cruel he had been. But Diluc’s heart shattered hearing his baby brother talk about himself like that. 

But before Diluc could continue, even though he did not know what to say, Kaeya spoke once again. And Diluc knew that Kaeya’s mask would eventually appear, yet at this present moment, Kaeya’s pain became ever so clear. 

“Master Diluc, I know that you are a much better knight than me, a better fighter and a better older brother than I could ever be,” 

Diluc could not make eye contact, and instead looked at the glass he was now cleaning. 

“I know you think our childhood was a lie. But there’s one thing that I can promise you, not that you will take my word for it, but I was your brother for much longer than I ever was a spy. ” 

Kaeya paused, and the words slowly sank. Diluc knew he should apologize, say something. But he could not bring himself to. He did not know why. The words lost and unspoken. So instead he watched Kaeya’s turning around to leave. 

No, Diluc thought. He could be different. There were a million things Diluc had wanted to say, yet he would not be able to say them. 

“At least you are trying to be better!” 

He wasn't. But he could be. 

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya did not know why he had said that. However, as he had watched Diluc, simply cleaning the glass not caring at all, he began to walk away. Before the tears could fall, and before Diluc would realize how pathetic Kaeya was, the only one so broken. His mask slowly appeared.  Yet before he could, Diluc spoke.

“Sir Kaeya, you are not pathetic.” 

Kaeya’s eye widened and he turned around. 

Diluc was still focused on the glass, and continued, “I shouldn’t have said that.”  Shouldn't have said what? It was all the truth, wasn't it? But Kaeya was not one to argue. 

Kaeya watched. It wasn’t an apology, not even close to one. But it was still something. 

By now, Kaeya’s mask had fully appeared, and instead he simply spoke, “Perhaps you could give me a glass of your finest Dandelion wine as forgiveness.” 

Diluc rolled his eyes and scoffed, “I wasn’t apologizing.” 

“Ah, Master Diluc, as cheap as always.” Kaeya spoke, feigning hurt, yet there was no bitterness in his voice. 

Kaeya left the tavern, feeling a sense of sad joy as he walked away.

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

“And so then Master Diluc simply didn’t offer me any wine and said he wasn’t apologizing. How rude. You should teach him a lesson.” 

There was a tinge of hurt as Kaeya realized that the pigeons seemed to be avoiding him now, but he didn’t care. At least Diluc’s pet bird wasn’t as cruel. 

Master Diluc’s pet bird simply stared at Kaeya and flapped its wings. Kaeya laughed. How silly  it was that he was talking to birds now. Like he actually cared about their opinions. How silly! Actually, no, maybe it was alright. Timmie did that, and Kaeya never would think it was funny. 

It was a strange habit, Kaeya had realized. But, honestly talking to the birds (even the pigeons) had honestly helped him feel better. It was as though spoken truth would whisper to the wind, and slowly leave him. His soul would feel just a little lighter. 

Of course, Kaeya had been assigned a very important task by the Mondstadt Pigeon Lover Association, one that he took very seriously: Make sure Mister Diluc’s pet bird doesn’t scare away the baby bird.

The new birdhouse had been an interest to Master Diluc’s pet. Initially, Kaeya had thought that Diluc had sent the bird to take back the birdhouse after Kaeya had basically gotten mad at his former brother. 

But now Kaeya realized that the bird probably thought that Diluc had built it a vacation home or something, because of how spoiled it was. Maybe birds found staring at trees to be some sort of resort. Luckily the bird hadn’t tried to take over it. Kaeya glared as it cleaned its feathers. At least not yet. 

Kaeya, who was still on his break, continued to talk. 

“I honestly don’t know what has happened. Master Diluc and I used to be so close. There was a time when we’d even finish each other's sentences.” Kaeya laughed at that memory. 

Then paused, “I don’t know what happened.” Kaeya continued talking, “Well I do know, but it’s just I guess tough. Back then, I’d never have thought things would turn out this way.” 

Kaeya laughed, blinking away tears. “We were so happy back then.” 

The bird simply looked at Kaeya. “I know, I know,” Kaeya spoke sadly, “it’s silly to be stuck so much in the past.” 

Luc genuinely thinks I am a traitor. 

He genuinely believes that I am a bad person. I am, aren’t I? 

He hates me. He actually thinks that I am a monster. 

I wish Father was here. 

The bird slowly fluffed its wings, and Kaeya, who understood bird behavior (though he’d never admit it), was about to fly again. Kaeya let out a sigh, “Keep an eye on him, okay?” 

Kaeya, who was correct, watched as the bird flew. Out in the distance, he watched with surprise as the bird landed on Diluc’s arm. Diluc was walking on the bridge, towards the birdhouse. 

Kaeya watched as his former brother reached the tree. 

“Ah, Master Diluc,” Kaeya said, no sadness within his voice, “What brings you here?” 

Diluc, who looked upset to see Kaeya, simply grumbled. 

“As talkative as ever, Master Diluc,” Kaeya laughed. 

They both stood watching the birdhouse. The bird that reminded Kaeya of himself looked outside and suddenly hid inside after seeing Diluc’s pet bird. Kaeya didn’t blame it. Diluc’s pet was scary. 

The bird that reminded Kaeya of Diluc suddenly flew by and stared at Diluc’s arm. Diluc’s pet bird stared back. 

It began to fly near and let out brave chirps. 

Kaeya couldn’t help but laugh. 

Diluc POV 

It was strange. It was strange hearing his little brother laugh again. Like, actually laugh.

Why does he get to be so happy? 

Diluc shook his head. Why, why was he so angry? Where was all this anger coming from?

Maybe he was angry because the traitor was living such a good life? That Kaeya had gone and ruined everything.

But that wasn’t true was it? 

Maybe Diluc was mad because he knew deep down that he did not deserve it. That Diluc did not deserve to be around Kaeya’s happiness, when Diluc himself had caused so much pain. 

“At least you are trying to be better!” 

Was he really? Was Diluc really trying, or was he just refusing the retribution the world had offered him for doing what he had done to Kaeya. Because Diluc knew that no matter what he did, Kaeya would never forgive him. And that was completely fine. Diluc knew he deserved it. 

Diluc watched the chirping bird who was seemingly trying to pick a fight with his friend. His pet bird simply looked at the chirping bird with amusement. Why try to pick fights you know you can’t win? 

Then, Diluc saw the birdhouse, and saw the little bird, snuggled  in the nest. That’s why. 

Oh, he had been scaring the little bird hadn’t he. Maybe just maybe this was the way the world was telling him that he did not deserve.

Because back then Diluc should have known that he could not handle the retribution that would engulf him in the present. 

Guilt overwhelmed him. Because Diluc knew that he was not worthy. That he was not enough. He wasn’t strong enough. He wasn’t good enough. He wasn’t perfect enough. 

His thoughts thundered within his head. Diluc should have been a better brother. He should have been stronger back then. He should have been kinder back then. 

But Kaeya shouldn’t have done that, right? 

His thoughts fought within his mind, and all Diluc felt was the quiet rage of guilt. 

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya stood with Diluc as they watched the bird. It was oddly comforting. There were no spoken words, just the cheeping of the bird, who was now sitting as a guard in front of the birdhouse. 

It reminded Kaeya so much of their childhood. One that he was so desperate to forget. One that he so dearly wanted to remember forever. 

As Kaeya watched, memories slowly swirled. 

When Little Kaeya had learned that Luc’s name wasn’t actually “Luc” he had been rather shocked. Like finding out that his father’s name wasn’t actually “Father.” 

Instead, after hearing the maids talk, Kaeya had learned that Luc’s actual name was “Diluc.” 

It was hard to pronounce, Luc was much easier. But, he would do this. He would repeat the name until the pronunciation matched those of the talking maids. 

But then as he listened to the maids talk, it became a little more confusing. Because they would call Luc “Master Diluc.” 

Perhaps it was a thing about respect? Kaeya definitely respected Diluc. So he had made it a mission to learn the name by heart. 

So, as Little Kaeya had seen Master Diluc, he ran up towards him and yelled, “Master Diluc!” He ran towards Diluc, notebook in his hand.  

He was expecting Diluc to be happy, to be joyful. Instead, all he saw was something within Master Diluc’s eyes. Kaeya couldn’t tell, it seemed to be a mix of shock, sadness and fear. 

“Hey! Where did you learn that?” 

“Learn what?” Kaeya had asked. 

“Master Diluc,” the redhead had said. 

“Oh, I heard the maids talking and…” 

“Call me 'Luc!'” Diluc had pouted. 

Kaeya turned his head confused, Master Diluc seemed upset. 

“What?” 

“You’re my brother! So call me Luc!” 

Kaeya’s world had froze for a second, filled with shock. 

And, he said, in a voice so soft, “We’re brothers?” 

“Yes!” Diluc had yelled, “So call me Luc!” 

“Are you sure? No matter what” Kaeya had asked. 

Because Little Kaeya knew that deep down, perhaps he would never be a part of the family. That he would have always been an outsider. That one day he would betray them. 

“Yes!” Luc had said. “We will be brothers forever!” 

Little Kaeya had blinked as tears slowly formed in his vision. 

“Okay, Luc!” 

The memories drifted and swirled, and Kaeya felt as though he was trapped. Within the word of memories that lingered so deeply. 

Oh, it had started to rain. 

He shook his head, the rain bringing him to the present. He held out his hand, the raindrops pattering.  Kaeya wasn’t sure what to say. He wanted to say something, because by now the silence was bringing back too many memories that would never return. And so, he had meant to say something, just for the sake of the conversation to start. Then the memories would go away. Then he’d stop begging for something he knew he would never have. Kaeya would stop thinking about the family he no longer could even dare to think about. Could not dare to long for. Maybe they could get out of the rain?

Yet, his mind, lingering with memories, simply said, “Hey, Luc?” just as Diluc said “Sir Kaey-” 

Kaeya’s eye widened. He didn’t mean to say that. Silly memories! 

He just prayed Diluc hadn’t noticed. Please don’t notice. Please don’t notice.

 But, by the disgust written on Diluc’s face and the shock, Kaeya knew he had messed up once again. 

Diluc POV 

Guilt lingered deep within. Of course Diluc would mess up! Of course! 

Because Diluc felt guilty, he did not deserve to be here standing next to Kaeya. After everything they had gone through.

Kaeya is a traitor, he doesn’t care about you! 

He didn’t know what to think. Did his brother care, or no. Was it all an act? Because Kaeya had still, despite everything, given him proof to think it was all a lie. 

No, no. Kaeya hadn’t done anything wrong. 

Diluc wanted to scream, he wanted to yell, he wanted to cry. All these thoughts within his mind.  

 Maybe Kaeya messed up. Maybe Kaeya is a traitor after all. Maybe Diluc is messed up. Maybe Kaeya had always been his brother?

The rain brought Diluc out of his thoughts. Maybe he should apologize? “Sir Kaey-” 

“Hey, Luc?”  his former brother had said. That nickname. 

That nickname.

Diluc recoiled. He didn’t know whether it was anger, happiness, hatred, longing, sadness, nostalgia, pain, disgust,  joy or perhaps a mixture of everything. 

That nickname. 

Memories that Diluc refused with every single fiber of his being slowly swirled. Because when perhaps he wasn’t just angry, when the world was just quiet enough, those memories came back. When the silence made way for memories that had been yelling the entire time. 

Because it was that day. Diluc’s eighteenth birthday. The day he lost everything. 

“Luc,” Kaeya had said, knocking on the door frantically. Rain drenched Kaeya, who did not seem to care. “I heard about Father, I-” Kaeya had said, something was different in the way Kaeya was acting. Diluc had just assumed it was grief. What a mistake that was, wasn’t it. 

“Luc, I-, I don’t know what to say,” Kaeya had said that day. 

Just be here for me. Please. Diluc had not said that day. 

“Luc, I need to tell you something.” Kaeya had said solemnly. 

“Luc, please! I’m sorry! I promise, I am not a spy anymore. I swear. Luc, all of it was real!” Kaeya had begged as Diluc picked up his weapon, anger flooding all around. 

“Luc…,” Kaeya had spoken that day in a voice so broken and so weak through the ashes and fire as Diluc had walked away. At that moment, Diluc really didn’t know if he’d ever hear from Kaeya ever again. He didn’t know if Kaeya would have been okay. He didn’t know if he would ever meet his little brother again. He didn’t know that it would hurt this much. 

In the present Diluc stood frozen. 

That nickname. 

Kaeya POV 

Diluc quickly turned around to look at Kaeya, who stood there with shock. Kaeya, quickly realizing, began to explain. “Sorry, I-, uh. Master Diluc” Kaeya panicked. “Silly me! It’s just those birds, they remind me of ourselves when we were younger and-” Kaeya paused again. No, he couldn’t lose this. Please no. “I don’t know what got over me.” 

“We’re not kids anymore . ” Diluc had spoken with no emotions. 

“I know, I know! It’s just back then, y’know. Ignore me, just rambling,” 

“We’re not brothers anymore .” Diluc said, not making eye contact, his voice void of emotions.

Diluc didn’t look at him as they stood. “It’s starting to rain,” Master Diluc said, raising a palm in the air, his pet bird letting out a noise of disgust. “You should go inside.” 

 Kaeya almost didn’t hear them leave as he listened to his heart shatter once again. And perhaps what hurt the most, wasn’t the way Diluc said it so matter of factly, or the fact that it was clear Diluc didn’t care. It was the “anymore” that reminded Kaeya so much of what could have been if things were different. What things once were. 

He looked at the birds who were now both safely tucked away in the birdhouse. The pain settled in. Because it was then he realized how lonely he felt. How broken he felt. How alone he felt. 

How no one that knew of this secret was here to support him. 

He stood in the rain. He didn’t know how much time had passed. 

“Kaeya!” A voice yelled, bringing him out of his thoughts. 

He looked towards the sound, “Jean?” Kaeya asked, not knowing if what he was hearing was the sound of his own voice. 

“Kaeya, are you okay? Why are you standing out here in the rain?” 

Kaeya looked at the birds, sleeping soundly. 

Kaeya looked, the sleeping bird now opening its eyes to look at Kaeya. Maybe just maybe the bird wasn’t ready for a leap of faith. But maybe that’s the thing. Maybe he’d never be ready. And that was okay. 

But, Kaeya thought as he looked at Jean. Maybe Kaeya would have to take this one for the team. 

What if we took chances on ourselves?

“Jean, can I tell you something?” Kaeya spoke, fear clear in his voice. 

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

As Diluc walked away, the sound of pattering rain both brought him into reality and tore him away from the present world. 

He continued to walk, bird on his shoulder, as the memories dared to fight. He knew he shouldn’t have said that. Yet perhaps it was the truth. Because Diluc knew he did not deserve to be a brother anymore. Not after what happened. Diluc knew that 

Yet, as soon as he had uttered those words, he felt as though he had lost a bit of himself. Why did he have to say that? Because the look on Kaeya’s face told him one thing. And that one thing was that they would never be brothers again, especially after what Diluc had said.

Maybe, just maybe Kaeya never thought of  them to be brothers in the first place. Yet now, it felt as though he had determined his fate. 

Because there were just so many things that were wrong, that were broken, that were all messed up. And perhaps, perhaps it was too late. Too late for them to ever be brothers again. 

And it was all Diluc’s fault. All of it. 

The world had given Diluc so many chances, and Diluc hadn’t even given Kaeya one. 

What would Father think? 

Diluc shook his head. No, he couldn’t think about that right now. He quickly walked through the rain. He really didn’t like rain. 

He looked behind him, at Kaeya, who was now far away. 

Standing in the rain isn’t good for you. Diluc thought.

Why do you care, it’s not like you are brothers anymore. 

That was true, wasn’t it? 

 He just wanted a second to stop having to think about how messed up everything was. 

Anger slowly bubbled. Couldn’t he just catch a break. Because every single thing would just be thrown at him. Every reaction, every phrase hurt him a million times again and again. Words would plague his thoughts and melt his mind.  Couldn’t he just get a break? Seriously. Couldn’t things just be normal for just one second. Thoughts scattered like dust and everything seemed to always be thundering. 

Ah, he had the winery to attend to as well. 

Oh, how much he wished that he could go back in time. How much he wish that things could just be as simple as they were back then. 

But simplicity hid the truth, did it not? 

As he continued walking further and further away from the one he once called brother, Diluc walked closer and closer to the one he had once called friend. 

Jean was there, busy helping shopkeepers pack their items away before it could get ruined by the rain. 

“Master Diluc,” Jean simply said, she looked at Diluc as well as the bird that was perched on his shoulder. 

“Ah, Acting Grand Master Jean,” Diluc had replied. 

The last time they had talked, things had not gone well. Diluc had said some pretty bad things about Kaeya and honestly deserved whatever he had gotten. 

Since then, it would simply be silent acknowledgement and polite responses. 

Yet, Diluc’s racing mind could not stop thinking about the reason behind everything, and that reason was Kaeya. 

“Sir Kaeya outside by the trees. Next to the birdhouse. Perhaps you could ask him to do something useful.”  Diluc simply said. He tried to hide any sense of emotion within his voice, and carried on walking. 

Yet, he looked back for a split second, just to make sure that Jean would go check up on his former brother. He knew he didn’t need to. 

Of course, Jean would do that, Diluc thought as he heard her footsteps run towards the trees. 

Oh well, Diluc had a lot of work to do. 

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya didn’t know why he had suddenly decided to tell Jean everything. Maybe the birds really had made him go crazy. Maybe it was the rain. Maybe it was the memories. Maybe it was the fact that at this very present moment, Kaeya felt so lonely, and so hurt, that he just couldn’t care about the outcome.

Maybe Kaeya felt a sense of hope. Maybe Kaeya just wanted to take a chance on himself. Take a chance that maybe someone, anyone else would hear his truth. 

Kaeya knew that his Vision bore a reminder that his truth was not that of a saint. Kaeya knew that his Vision tied him to the lies and bore a reminder that the world had despised him. Hated him. 

And, as Kaeya walked alongside Jean towards the Knights of Favonius Headquarters, he realized that this could perhaps be the end of the life he had now.

Kaeya wanted to run, and wanted to cry. At this point, Kaeya was even more jealous of the fact that birds could fly so freely. 

Instead, they walked through the rain. 

When Kaeya had told Jean that he wanted to tell her something, she looked at him with sympathy. Kaeya wondered when that sympathy would turn into scorn. 

When that kindness would turn into anger. 

When the concern would turn into rage. 

Because Kaeya knew what had happened last time he had spoken his truth. He knew it all too well.

When they finally reached Jean’s office, Jean had insisted on making a cup of tea. It had been raining and she didn’t want Kaeya to catch a cold. Or at least that was what he had assumed, perhaps after he told the truth she’d think otherwise. 

And so, Kaeya sat, sitting in the chair, waiting for impending doom. 

Was it too late to change his mind? 

Oh, Kaeya thought as the cup of tea was placed in front of him. 

At least it wasn’t death by grape juice. 

“So,” Jean said as she sat down with the cup of tea across from him, “what did you want to tell me?” 

Rain pattered on the windows. 

Kaeye spoke with a smile. 

“I was thinking, as Mondstadt’s best Cavalry Captain, a raise would be in order?” 

“Kaeya,” Jean spoke, her voice filled with empathy, but also that Kaeya’s jokes were likely not welcomed. 

Kaeya knew that the empathy would be gone soon.

No, he had to be brave. 

Of course, through trial and error (emphasis on the error part), Kaeya had learned that maybe saying I’m a spy would not be the best approach. Like maybe some background details. Soften the blow a little. 

“Um,” Kaeya spoke, hoping to hide his wavering voice. “Do you remember a few years ago?” 

Why was his voice wavering? Thinking about those memories was not pleasant. 

“Yes, do you mean that day?” 

“Yes,” Kaeya said in a solemn voice, “Do you remember it?” Even though her words already told Kaeya that she did. 

“Of course,” Jean said, “How could I forget?” There was sadness in her voice. Probably sad thinking about how Diluc, the best Cavalry Captain, had left. 

Yet Kaeya knew that was a lie. Because though maybe Kaeya did not believe in himself, he did believe in Jean, and that maybe, just maybe she did care about him.

“I remember that day,” Jean spoke and now there was a sense of sadness within her voice.

“I was so scared that you wouldn’t make it.” Her voice was a whisper. 

Kaeya’s eye widened. Perhaps, the world did care. Perhaps things would be different. 

“Oh,” Kaeya had said, perhaps to ease his racing mind. 

He wasn’t really sure what to say next. His mask was slowly falling. 

“That day, what happened, I deserved it.” 

“What?” Jean spoke, her voice as though it was an echo.

“Archons, no. Kaeya I don’t know what happened but that doesn’t justify what Diluc did.” 

Kaeya flinched. Oh, so she knew it was Diluc. Well, it wasn’t a tough guess (who else could it be? A hilichurl? Though they were dangerous when they needed to be, Kaeya would have been able to fight one. And probably wouldn’t have been calling a hilichurl “Luc” as he drifted out in and out of consciousness. Though, Kaeya was pretty sure he had said that Diluc was like a hilichurl berserker at some point in their childhood, probably during a fight.   

“Jean,” Kaeya said, “I did deserve it.” 

“Kaeya,” Jean spoke, her voice soft yet firm. And Kaeya could bet that there was a lesson, a trail of comforting words about to be spoken, yet Kaeya knew he didn’t deserve to hear them.

“No, Jean. I-,” Kaeya paused, “I truly did deserve it.” 

“Kaeya,” Jean said, “There is nothing in this world that you could do to ever warrant something like that.” 

There are. 

“Jean,” Kaeya spoke, and took a deep breath. His heart was racing. It was time for the truth to be spoken, and Kaeya wasn’t sure how it would end. Was it too late to say it was all a prank? 

The door slammed open as a knight rushed in, “Acting Grand Master Jean!” 

Saved by the oh so efficient knights. Ha, Kaeya didn’t even know what Diluc was talking about when he called them inefficient. 

Jean sent the knight a pointed look. “Sorry, I know, but it’s an emergency. We just got a report of a hilichurl camp in Dragonspine. We don’t know what’s happening there but the camp’s activities and numbers seem to be growing rapidly.” 

Jean quickly stood up from her seat. “On it. Thanks. Let’s have a quick meeting with the knights and prepare to send them tomorrow morning” 

With a nod, the knight left.
Kaeya smiled, mask on again, “It seems we have more pressing issues”

“No,” Jean spoke,”this is important and-” 

Kaeya let out a laugh, “Jean, seriously I’m just talking about some little stuff that doesn’t matter.” 

“Kaeya, if it hurts you, then it’s not a little thing, and it does matter .” 

Kaeya almost felt tears forming. Almost. Yet, he saw the stress and worry behind Jean’s eyes. The camp was worrying her.  Kaeya knew what had to be done. 

“Seriously, Jean. We can talk about it later.” Then he added with a cheeky smile, “Perhaps with a glass of dandelion wine? ” 

Jean sent him a pointed look. Kaeya smirked, “Of course, the tea is lovely,” he said gesturing to the hot tea sitting on the table, mainly untouched, "But a glass - or five- of dandelion wine is simply unmatched.”

Jean rolled her eyes and smiled, getting up from her chair and towards the door, ready for another meeting. “Alright Kaeya, but I still want you to know that I’ll always be on your side.” 

She won’t be after she finds out the truth.  

Kaeya simply smiled. 

“Besides,” Jean said, seemingly trying to brighten the solemn mood, “it’s not like you're someone like Eroch .” One thing that young Kaeya and Jean had in common was their undying hatred for Eroch.  Kaeya felt his heart drop into his stomach. Of  course. 

Why? 

Because who was Eroch? He was a traitor . 

Logic told Kaeya that it was a simple joke to bring back old memories. 

Kaeya laughed a hollow laugh, ”Can’t be worse than him.”

Why? 

As soon as he heard the door close, he felt tears fall. Kaeya was a traitor. 

Of course. 

Of course. 

 “Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor.”  

Kaeya Alberich was a fool.  Kaeya shuddered, not even wanting to be grouped together with that evil monster. Yet, a traitor was a traitor, no matter what. What would Jean think? Because Kaeya couldn’t have one thing.

As Kaeya walked outside, he shook his head to throw away the thoughts. Because no matter how hurt Kaeya was, Sir Kaeya had to always be fine. He knew what he had to do. Yet, he had known what to do as soon as that knight had walked into the room.

Kaeya definitely did not doubt the abilities of the knights, but one thing that he knew was that they really could not handle the cold. 

It was time to make a solo-trip to Dragonspine. 

Kaeya didn’t have much to pack, really. His house was empty, void of memories that he no longer deserved. Memories he never deserved in the first place. So with his Vision and weapon Kaeya was off but he knew he needed to bring a coat, at least. It was funny, but Kaeya was sure that Master Crepus would be mad if Kaeya had gone to Dragonspine without a coat. So he picked up his coat and began to walk, yet with no direction in mind. 

Kaeya’s mind was racing back to the thoughts he so desperately tried to throw away. He really was like Eroch, wasn’t he? A traitor. A traitor that would not be shown any empathy and did not deserve any either. 

And despite all that. All that, he still had that little glimmer of hope, hidden behind all that fear. Yet, he never even tried to let the hope win. Because traitors like him didn’t get happy endings. 

Just as Eroch deserved getting kicked out by Jean, perhaps Kaeya deserved Diluc’s rage. 

No, Kaeya couldn’t be this miserable before a mission. He had to focus. 

And there it was, that little voice. Because, didn’t Kaeya deserve happiness too? Kaeya wasn’t even nearly as bad as Eroch (or so he hoped). 

Perhaps it was funny, how Kaeya always found himself back to where he started. The rain had stopped a little while ago, yet the dark clouds still remained. Things always would go back to where they started indeed. Whether it was telling the truth or being back towards the pigeons. It was strange, how Kaeya was in so much pain, yet the pigeons remained. 

Kaeya saw Timmie throwing bread for the pigeons. A closed umbrella sitting nearby. They were likely too busy eating the bread to notice Kaeya and fly away. 

“Timmie,” Kaeya said. Timmie, who had been concentrating, or lost in thought did not reply. 

As Kaeya walked closer, he spoke once again, “Timmie.” 

“Brother Kaeya,” Timmie said, looking away from the pigeons. 

“Hey Timmie, what are you up to?” 

“I’m just feeding the pigeons and thinking.” 

“Thinking about what?” Kaeya asked. 

“Just everything,” Timmie replied, now going back to throwing the bread. 

“Oh.” Kaeya had replied. 

“Are you okay?” Timmie had asked.

“Hey, I should be the one asking you that,” Kaeya laughed.

“Well, I’m doing fine, I guess.” Timmie paused, “Just today, I made an announcement to join the Pigeon Lovers Association, and I made a lot of mistakes  and I heard people laughing at me, and I don’t know. They said some mean stuff and I know they think I’m silly cause I care for the pigeons too much.” 

“Timmie,” Kaeya said with sympathy in his voice. He felt anger, because how dare someone do that. Yet, he also felt sadness. And Kaeya knew that it was a rude comment. He’d been on the receiving ends of those so much growing up. Yet, he didn’t pry. Timmie didn’t want to talk about it, and that was completely fine. 

“It’s fine! I know that it doesn’t matter what other people think about me. I know that the only thing that matters is what I think about myself. We’re taking chances on ourselves, not waiting for chances from others. But, still, it hurts. ” 

And it does. It hurt when Kaeya lost Diluc through the depths of anger. It hurt when Kaeya realized that maybe he’d lose the home he built. It hurts to think about how Kaeya knew he shouldn’t care what others think, but he does. And he couldn’t control it. He couldn’t just tell himself to stop so desperately wanting Diluc’s approval so they could be a little family again. And Kaeya knew, that logic told him that things wouldn’t be the same. Yet, Kaeya couldn’t stop dreaming. Couldn’t stop hoping. The world was cruel, was it not? 

“I’m sorry,” Kaeya spoke. 

“It’s okay!” Timmie said, throwing the bread. 

“No, it’s not,” Kaeya said, perhaps taking some wisdom from Jean. Kaeya pondered, he really didn’t know what to say, and that is exactly what he said. “ I don’t really know what to say. The world is indeed cruel and I just don’t know why. And you never deserved any of the bad things that happened to you.” Kaeya told Timmie, yet there was a voice within him, a part of himself that heard the words going back towards him. 

Because Kaeya didn’t deserve to be hated for his truth. 

Because Kaeya really hoped that he wasn’t like Eroch. Kaeya was also pretty sure he wasn’t anything like Eroch (though the bar was very low). Even Jean had said it. 

“That’s true,” replied Timmie. 

As Kaeya noticed the mood getting sadder, he quickly quipped a joke (and perhaps trying to relay some information), “Do you know any of the names of the people who were mean to you? Maybe the dragon-pigeons can make a surprise visit?” 

Timmie didn’t reply, seemingly lost in thought (or maybe Kaeya’s joke was just really bad). And so, they both stood there, the sound of pigeons and breezes of wind reminding them that time was indeed passing. 

And it was strange, but it felt as though sadness surrounded the air. And it hurt. But it didn’t hurt in the sense of fresh burns gnawing at the skin. It hurt in the sense of burns after the fire was gone. That pain lingers and stays. As the wound rebuilt itself, slowly but surely. The pain of burns and scars as they healed. Kaeya stood in sadness, not really sure what to do. Just waiting for it to pass. Kaeya didn’t know. He didn’t know at all. 

Then, Timmie spoke, “I guess taking chances on ourselves also means accepting ourselves even for things that other people think are flaws. Or maybe even just accepting that we have flaws, and still believing in ourselves no matter what. Because if we can do that for others, then we should be able to do that for ourselves!” 

“That’s true,” Kaeya murmured, and he felt better. 

“Anyways,” Timmie said, who definitely seemed happier, “How are you?” 

“I’m doing alright, I just have some work to do,” Kaeya replied. 

Timmie looked at the coat that Kaeya was carrying. “Where are you going?” 

“Oh,” Kaeya realized, he was walking around with a coat which probably didn’t make much sense. If Jean saw him, she’d be mad that he was working while he was supposed to be on a break (or at least that’s what he assumed). “I’m going to visit Dragonspine, official knight duties,” he said, ruffling Timmie’s hair. 

“Oh, okay.” Timmie replied, “Let’s feed the pigeons when you come back!” 

“Of course,” Kaeya replied and began walking. 

“Wait! Brother Kaeya!” Timmie yelled and picked something from his bag.

Kaeya turned around to see Timmie running with a fresh loaf of bread. “Here! Take this.” 

“Thank you Timmie,” Kaeya spoke. Maybe Kaeya would have made a joke about feeding the pigeons, but Kaeya knew that the pigeons did not eat from traitors. And, perhaps Kaeya knew that the bread was meant for him. 

“No problem, Brother Kaeya!” Timmie spoke. 

Kaeya looked into the distance. It was going to be a journey, not too bad, but the cavalry wasn’t here anymore so Kaeya would have to walk there. 

It was going to be a tough battle, and the knights needed someone there, he didn’t want Jean to have to go, with how stressed she already was. Plus, she was needed in Mondstadt. Kaeya knew he’d have to walk this journey alone. Plus also finds the camp on his own too. Perhaps he should have stayed a little longer just to find out where he was even supposed to go. Oh well, at least he liked the cold. And it gave him time to calm his racing mind. 

As Kaeya walked towards Dragonspine, his mind kept racing. Because after what Timmie had said, perhaps Kaeya needed to accept his flaws. Yet, he couldn’t. Could he? 

Because Kaeya was a traitor. 

But are you really? A voice had cried out, and that voice was Little Kaeya. 

Because maybe Kaeya would have to accept that he would be a traitor no matter what. Whether it was ever to Mondstadt or Khaenri'ah. 

But Kaeya was doing his best wasn’t he? Kaeya had done his best given what had happened. And the truth was, that Kaeya was just a kid. Just someone trying their best. 

Kaeya Alberich kept walking. And with every footstep, a racing thought swirled through his mind. Kaeya was focused. Kaeya was confused, lost and scared. Kaeya was brave. 

Once Kaeya had gotten rather close, he decided to take a break, setting up a mini-camp on the outskirts of Dragonspine. Sitting down, he brought out the bread and honestly, it was pretty good. The pigeons were onto something he thought with amusement. 

He watched as a crumb fell onto the ground.

 And then watched as a pigeon flew towards it.

Kaeya’s eye widened. He sat there frozen, still. The pigeon slowly walked closer towards the crumb. 

Kaeya heard his heart louder and louder in his ears. 

The pigeon slowly moved closer towards the crumb. And now seemed to be observing it. If Kaeya was not so shocked, perhaps he would have been annoyed by a pigeon trying to act as  a food connoisseur.

Then the pigeon moved closer to the bread, and then turned around and pecked the empty ground and began walking the other way. Kaeya let out a sigh.

It was the pigeon’s loss was it not? That’s right. 

The pigeon turned around, and began walking towards the crumb. 

Kaeya held his breath. The pigeon pecked the ground next to the crumb, and Kaeya wanted to yell. 

Was Barbados playing a prank on him? It didn’t matter. Kaeya belonged and no pigeon or world could tell him otherwise. Are you lying to yourself? Maybe the world did not love a traitor, a fool, but Kaeya decided right there and then that he loved the world (partly just out of spite). 

You are lying to yourself. 

Then, the pigeon moved towards the crumb, and Kaeya held his breath, his heart thundering in his chest. 

Suddenly, the pigeon dashed away in a flock of feathered wings. Kaeya looked at the untouched crumb for a mere second, until he heard cawing. 

He looked up to see Diluc’s pet bird flying towards him. 

“Thanks, buddy. ” Kaeya said, sarcasm dripping from his tone. 

But as the bird flew closer, it looked worried? Or at least if a bird could look worried, it would look like that. Kaeya’s eye widened.  And Kaeya didn’t even need to be told as his heart skipped a beat. 

Diluc.   

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

As Diluc fought alone in the snowy land, his mind couldn’t help but think. And what was he thinking about? 

His little brother’s smile. That stupid smile. 

Of course, back then Diluc would be oh-so happy when Kaeya smiled. It meant that Kaeya was happy. Or so he thought. 

At first, Diluc had concluded that Kaeya didn’t know that the other kids were making fun of him for not knowing how to read, or for the many things they made fun of Kaeya for. Instead, Kaeya would smile and carry on with whatever he was doing as the children laughed. Kaeya would follow and laugh too. 

Back then, Diluc had thought that Kaeya didn’t know the difference between laughing with and being laughed at. 

Of course, Diluc had dealt with those bullies in an “acceptable” manner (or atleast Father and Adelinde hadn’t been too upset when the parents had complained). Those bullies couldn’t even confront Diluc themselves. How pathetic. 

Yet Diluc now knew that Kaeya had known all along, or he had found out about how cruel the world was a lot earlier than Diluc had thought. Kaeya always had a resting smile, lips quirked into a smile anytime someone talked to him. Even at times when no one was looking, Kaeya would smile, as though the spotlight was on him. 

Diluc now knew that it was all part of Kaeya being a spy. No, Diluc now knew that it was all part of the mask that Kaeya wore.

Diluc quickly dodged an attack and lept towards another enemy. He needed to get this done soon. Enemy reinforcements would be coming soon. He needed to keep the balance. 

 If Diluc was correct (and he usually was), the knights would have probably found out about the camp not too long ago. Of course, the inefficient knights were nothing compared to the Darknight Hero’s intelligence. If things went according to plan, Diluc would be out of there before any of the knights reached by tomorrow morning at the latest.

As the fight became the background noise in Diluc’s mind, the racing thoughts took the stage. 

Because after some time, his thoughts would shift to that day. 

Back to Kaeya’s smile. 

Because after some time, young Diluc had realized that perhaps Kaeya’s smile was a mask, yet not one to harm, rather a way to protect. A way to cope. 

And it was that day when the smile had broken the rage that had swarmed Diluc. Because that day, that horrible day when Diluc had lost everything, that smile had been there. 

Because that day, once Diluc had sent the flaming attack. And it was at the moment, when Diluc looked at Kaeya. Not at the rage that filled him. Not at the traitor.  Not at the whirling lights and the nightmare world.

 No, Diluc had looked at Kaeya, his brother.   And for a split-second before the flaming phoenix reached Kaeya, Diluc’s anger had all shattered, once he saw that smile. 

Because Kaeya had smiled . And it was a sad smile, yet a soft smile of acceptance nonetheless. 

Diluc remembered as the world came crashing down, as his eyes had widened because in seconds the flaming bird would fly across the horizon leaving nothing but soot and ashes. 

And Diluc had looked only after the phoenix had risen from the ashes and burned across the sky towards the traitor. 

Because that was his baby brother. And it was too late. 

And it was, at that moment, when Kaeya had dropped his weapon, and perhaps opened his arms, not as a hug, yet not in fear either. In acceptance. Kaeya had smiled. 

Diluc’s world had come crashing down. Yet it was already swarming. No. 

Kaeya had smiled, a soft sad smile, and at that moment Diluc had realized what he had done. And it was too late to change it. All he could do was watch the split-second horror. 

Then, Diluc’s prayers were answered, as the droplets froze and a light surrounded them. A frozen shield made of ice. A call from the archons. 

And it was then, when Kaeya’s smile had faltered ever so slightly in shock, if not a frown, before a forced smile had replaced it. Acceptance.  The Cyro Vision holding droplets of rain frozen in the midst. 

Diluc’s mind was brought to the present as his claymore was thrown away from him. Why was he like this? Why was he thinking about this? He unusually didn’t make mistakes. Diluc shook his head. He needed to focus. He was alone now. Memories couldn’t hurt him. They shouldn't.

Because Diluc should have been better. Should have been stronger. Back then and now. 

In a dance of fury, Diluc quickly leapt away from the attack, picking up his claymore and the fight had started once again. It wasn’t a fair fight. An entire camp versus Diluc. He almost felt bad for them. Almost. 

Yet, perhaps the lingering of memories made the fight fair. Because the phoenix was not reborn from the ashes. No, the phoenix remained imprisoned by its home. Right now, the ashes kept the monster at bay. Kept himself at bay. 

The smile. The tears. The fear. The guilt. Why was he thinking about this? At the worst time. 

He heard a caw in the distance and he knew. Enemy reinforcements would be coming sooner rather than later. 

Yet, despite the raging war, Diluc’s mind wasn’t there. The past kept clawing back. 

Diluc narrowly dodged, an ax lodged into the snow where he had been standing moments earlier. 

Diluc didn’t make mistakes like this. No, he had to stay focused. But oh how horrible he felt. 

We’re not brothers anymore. Had he really said that? He had, and Kaeya’s expression had been so broken and hurt. And Kaeya hadn’t realized it, but Diluc had seen Kaeya’s lips curve, no quiver , into a broken smile. 

A ringing caw and the yell of an army brought Diluc back from his thoughts. Diluc needed to focus. This wasn’t the time to be thinking about what happened and what hadn't. He heard the cries of monsters in the distance. 

Yet, the cry of monsters was nothing compared to the screams in Diluc’s mind. He had to focus. 

Diluc heard another yell of an army and looked around. His eyes widened. He was surrounded. This was going to be fun. 

Kaeya POV 

As Kaeya ran, he realized how perhaps he was a fool for thinking that him and Diluc would ever be brothers again. Yet, as Kaeya ran, he realized that maybe he didn't care if Diluc hated him because he just wanted Diluc to be okay. And time was passing so strangely, and things were such a blur. Minutes turned into seconds, and seconds turned into nothingness. Because he just wanted to find his brother. 

So, Kaeya chased after the bird, the background blurring into nothingness as timed felt as though it was stopping and starting. But then, the bird came to a stop and seemingly sat down looking towards a tree. Sitting on the edge of snow and the rest of the world. 

At first Kaeya looked confused. But that’s when he saw. The all seeing owl of Dragonspine, it’s eyes were closed. Maybe it was taking a nap? Then, as if on cue, the owl opened its giant eyes. 

Kaeya shuddered. The owl was perched high on the tree. Diluc’s pet bird did not dare to fly by.

Kaeya never liked the owl. Kaeya would always try to avoid it, yet the stories remained true. The owl knew all, and for Kaeya, that was his greatest fear. 

His mind raced, because he didn't have time for this. His thoughts were fluttering, they were skipping things. 

Kaeya stared at the owl, and let out a sigh. Because what did Kaeya know about himself that the owl did not? What did the owl see when looking at Kaeya? 

And so, Kaeya tried to speak the truth, yet he wasn’t able to. Now looking at the ground, he simply murmured. He looked up hoping that the owl would have just disappeared. 

Unfortunately, it did not. It looked at Kaeya, and that’s when Kaeya felt it.  Kaeya’s mind wandered back to when he was just a kid, begging the world for forgiveness for things he had not done.  Begging the world to just let him live. Begging the world to just give him a chance. Begging the world to just understand him, when he didn’t even know who he was.  Being scared that one day he would run into that owl, and it would know. Know of all of his secrets and his sorrows. 

His mind stirred in the present, with no clue what was happening, who he was, and who he wanted to be. Yet there was a voice, a flicker within, which simply could be hope. 

Kaeya’s mind was a mess, and he just didn’t know. And maybe that was okay. 

The owl then nodded and pointed towards the snowy hills with one of its wings. Diluc’s pet quickly flew in that direction. Kaeya’s despair and for directions? What a fair trade! 

Kaeya had no clue what had just happened. Perhaps it was fate. Perhaps the owl had seen that Kaeya was a fool and took pity on him. Yet, Kaeya didn't care, as he continued to run. At that moment, and the moments before, and the moments after, all Kaeya could worry about was his brother. 

The bird began to fly faster and faster. 

As Kaeya ran, he realized a lot of things. His mind starting to slow down, just a little.  First, Kaeya thought as he ran head first through a bush,  Diluc’s pet bird really didn’t understand the difference between flying and not flying. Two, which (now backed up with Diluc's pet bird and the pigeons), that birds were fools. Or maybe, that Kaeya Alberich was a fool .

He was indeed a fool. 

A fool that had moved on. A fool that could never let go.  A fool that had tried to be better. A fool that had built a place from the ruins. A fool that had refused to give up. A fool that had given up many times. A fool that had made mistakes. A fool that had many victories. A fool that had hoped for a chance. A fool that cared too much about what others thought of him. A fool that cared about the opinions of pigeons.  

And maybe he accepted that he was indeed a fool. Maybe he didn’t.  

Kaeya ran as fast as he could. Kaeya would never be late ever again. Not ever again. 

And so, Kaeya kept running. 

Kaeya was a fool. A foolish fool one might say. 

He stepped on flowers, and watched as the wind carried the broken petals across the land. A silent apology that he could not speak, too scared to utter. 

 An inefficient fool, a certain brother might say. A loving fool another would say. A lovable fool.  An intelligent fool. As Kaeya raced through the land,  he thought that maybe everyone was a fool. Pigeons were foolish creatures. They didn’t know the difference between concrete and crumbs. Yet somehow, pigeons as though they were guided by some force would always end up wherever they were meant to be. 

Kaeya was a stubborn fool. 

Somehow stupid pigeons had made it through dragons, through the storms, through the changing times. They’d keep trying, keep walking, one step in front of another ( even if it was just in circles ). But that’s the thing. They just kept trying, just kept walking in their pigeon worlds. 

 The pigeons always returned. To the same bridge that they’d be yelled at. To the same bridge that they’d be blocking. To the same bridge where the shopkeepers or travelers would scare them away. Because the world was cruel to pigeons. Yet, the pigeons didn’t care, they returned. And was that silliness? Or was it maybe (and just maybe) it was strength? 

And so maybe, Kaeya was a fool. A fool that refused to extinguish that little flicker of hope that lived so deeply within his soul. Buried so deeply within the abyss that he didn’t even know how it survived. But it did. It foolishly did. 

Kaeya raced through the land, his heart racing faster and faster. 

Pigeons were fools. At times they’d be way too fearless, at other times they’d be scared of the very crumb they’d go Fatui mode for seconds earlier. But, if pigeons were dragons, then maybe dragons were fools too? And if dragons were fools, that pretty much everything else had to be a fool. 

Kaeya kept running. He wouldn’t be late. Not again. Never again. 

If things were poetic, then perhaps, in another word, a world that loved Kaeya, pigeons would have been surrounding Kaeya as he ran. Feathered wings would have marked his path. 

His shoes touched the snow, and he knew he was close. 

Because maybe Kaeya was a fool, for thinking him and Diluc would be brothers again. Maybe Kaeya was a fool for loving a world that did not love him. But if being a fool meant being who he was (even though he didn’t know who that was) then Kaeya would gladly be a fool. 

Diluc POV 

As Diluc kept on fighting, he had to admit, he was getting pretty tired. But he couldn’t give up. He had to keep fighting. Just a few more enemies he thought miserably as he dodged an attack. He was so tired. So tired of it all. So tired of these enemies. So tired of the memories. 

So tired of being alone. So tired of being surrounded. 

Diluc felt cold pain as he was thrown into the snowbank from a Mitachurl. He’d have to take care of that later. There were more Hilichurls surrounding him. He was tired. 

Wait? Was that cooing? Diluc looked away for a split second to see pigeons flying overhead. Ah, he must have been so tired that he was going crazy. Because Diluc remembered the boy once saying that a book said that pigeons would always fly home. But who could find a home in such a waste land, in such a soulless and heartless place? 

 He blinked and the pigeons were gone. He was going crazy indeed. 

And then, he heard the familiar caw of his friend. And then, footsteps? He heard another army of Hilichurls approaching. Ah. How pleasant. 

The cold was making him go crazy. First pigeons and now whatever this was. He paused for a second as he picked up a fallen shield, dodging another attack. 

His heart skipped a beat as a shard of ice zipped past his face, into a Hilichurl that he hadn’t noticed. 

What? 

Diluc kept fighting. Perhaps it was a trick of the mind. 

“Master Diluc, saved by an oh-so  inefficient knight? How surprising!” Nope, not a trick of the mind. Even his mind couldn’t be that annoying. Kaeya was here. His baby brother was here. 

He rolled his eyes. If he wasn’t fighting an entire army right now, he’d send an annoyed look at his bird friend and an insult to his brother. What?  He could have handled this on his own. He didn’t need saving at all. Actually, he didn’t care. He sent an annoyed look to whatever direction he had heard cawing from. Hopefully the bird saw it. He’d yell at Kaeya, later . 

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

It was strange, how things were so different, yet still the same. Because as Diluc fought side-by-side with his former brother, he realized that a lot of things hadn’t changed. 

Then, his little brother would do the coolest attack using his Vision, and the older brother within Diluc would beam with pride. And then Diluc would realize how different things were.

Because Diluc noticed that Kaeya would flinch, ever so slightly, at the warmth of a flame. But Diluc would realize. And his entire world would crumble each time. 

Yet, despite all that, there was a sense of familiarity, a sense of how Kaeya would be where Diluc needed him to be, and how when Kaeya was around, Diluc would never need to watch his back. 

Because Diluc trusted Kaeya, after all this time. 

Yet, he’d notice again and again how Kaeya would ever so slightly move away from any sense of flame, any sense of warmth. And the part that hurt the most was that Kaeya didn’t seem to notice what he was doing. And Diluc would realize that the wounds were too deep, too harsh and too fierce. 

Diluc quickly leapt out of the way of a raging attack, stumbling ever so slightly. Yet of course, Kaeya noticed. 

“What's wrong, Diluc? Can't handle the cold?” 

And Diluc would feel that anger rise within him, “It’s Master Diluc.” 

He heard Kaeya scoff. “Ah, so that’s the thanks I get for saving your life, how kind.” 

“I was doing just fine,” Diluc grunted kicking away another monster, “Sir Kaeya,” 

“Of course, of course,” Kaeya replied not convinced, and then quickly leapt, the rattle of a shield, and scathing of a sword telling Diluc that the fight was not even close to being over. 

“Oh Master Diluc,” Kaeya yelled in his annoying sing-song voice, was he not tired? 

“What is it, Sir Kaeya,” 

“I think a dozen bottles of dandelion wine would be a fine thank you gift!” 

Diluc rolled his eyes. Narrowly avoiding getting hit by a Hilichurl. Because his mind was wandering. A certain memory lingering. 

It had been years ago. Diluc, who had just been acknowledged as a captain, and Kaeya, who was a new member of the knights, desperately trying to prove himself. It had been a simple mission, clear the camps, and it had gone fine for standards, yet Diluc walked angrily. 

“Luc!” Kaeya had yelled, running after his brother. 

“Kae, I had it!” 

“No, you were going to get hurt!” 

“No, I was not.” Diluc insisted. 

“Yes, you were.” Kaeya hissed. 

“No, I was not.” Diluc yelled as he ran. 

“No you were not,” Kaeya replied and if Diluc had not been walking in his fit of rage, he would have caught on. 

“Yes I w-” Diluc spoke, his eyes widening as he turned around to look at Kaeya, who had a smirk on his face, “Hey!” 

Kaeya quickly caught up to Diluc, and now they had been walking, it was a sort of angry gait, yet Kaeya walked beside him, with no words. 

“Luc,” Kaeya said, breaking the silence. “I’m not going to apologize for saving your life,” Diluc sent his brother a pointed glare. No, you did not save my life. 

Kaeya laughed at this, “But, why are you getting so upset.” 

“I’m not upset,” 

“Yes, you are, and I don’t understand why.” 

“It’s just that you were trying to show off!” Diluc had yelled, not even knowing his words, and not daring to look at Kaeya, because Kaeya could take one look at him and know the truth. 

Kaeya quickly ran in front of Diluc, “Luc!” 

“Okay, fine!” Diluc said, not looking at Kaeya. He mumbled,  “I’m the one who’s supposed to be protecting you.” 

“What?” 

“I’m the oldest, I’m the one supposed to be protecting you!” Diluc had yelled. Because I can’t lose you. 

“Then who will protect you?” Kaeya had yelled.

“I can take care of myself.” I don’t need anyone to save me

“Well, your fighting from today tells me otherwise,” Kaeya had retorted and there was a sense of laughter in his voice.

“What?” Diluc had replied hollowly.

“It is clear, Luc,” Kaeya paused, “you are an old man !” 

“What!?” Diluc bellowed. 

“Ah, yes,” Kaeya said, feigning a deep ponder, “I, being the youngest, must always take care of you. I respect my elders!” 

Kaeya began to run, “Luc, I will go tell Adelinde to make pudding!” 

Diluc started running, and ran ahead of Kaeya, “Kae! I’m not even that old!” 

And then they were both laughing as they ran. And it was at that moment, when Diluc realized that he’d always protect his baby brother. 

It was so wry, so cruel, how fate had turned out. How Diluc had ended up hurting Kaeya more than any slime or mage could. It was cruel, how Diuc ended up becoming the very monster he swore he’d protect Kaeya from. 

And now, here he was. Kaeya was here, saving Diluc. Protecting Diluc. Probably out of pity. Likely out of duty.  After everything. It only bore as a reminder of how pathetic Diluc was. Diluc shook his head, the fight must go on. 

Kaeya POV 

Diluc wasn’t acting like himself. Something was off. Something was wrong. 

Because Kaeya had seen Diluc ignore a Mitachurl that was now lying on the ground (Diluc would usually finish the job). Luckily, Kaeya was here.   Diluc had missed attacks that he usually would make. Diluc had ignored shields that he’d usually use towards his advantage.  Diluc would slightly falter. 

And while Kaeya would be proud to say that perhaps Kaeya was just a better fighter, simply so skilled that Diluc seemed just a mere beginner to Kaeya present knowledge. But that was not the truth. 

And Kaeya just didn’t know why. Because as they fought, it brought back memories of the past, but also a sense of fear that gnawed at Kaeya. Because at times, the fight would be like old times, but Kaeya noticed the falters within Diluc’s steps. 

Because Diluc would react a millisecond later than he usually would. It seemed as though Diluc would disappear into his own world. And Kaeya knew Diluc. And Diluc would not fight like this (no matter how old he was becoming). 

And so, Kaeya spoke. Because he needed to make sure Diluc was here, and not where his mind was wandering. Kaeya had a feeling that he knew what was bothering Diluc (of course Kaeya was annoying, of course Kaeya might be bothering him). But still, he needed to hear Diluc’s voice. Make sure that Diluc was doing okay. How long had he been fighting for? Why had Diluc been so stubborn and going alone, not to wait for any help! How ironic. They really were brothers. 

Kaeya lost track of time, lost the Sun that would tell him what time it was, yet he didn’t lose track of Diluc. Or at least his voice. Because as the fight continued, Kaeya lost sight of Diluc, hidden behind the scenery and the snow. Yet, Kaeya would listen for the sound of a claymore. 

They just had to keep fighting. The battle would not last forever. And soon, the numbers began to dwindle. Diluc’s pet bird cried less and less, and enemy numbers slowly dwindled until there were none. 

Kaeya was going to yell at Diluc for being a fool. Because why would Diluc think he could fight an entire army on his own. Oh! Maybe he could tell Diluc what he learned about the pigeons, and then the dragons; that would be an interesting conversation. Diluc was the biggest fool Kaeya knew. Kaeya smirked. 

And soon, and thankfully, the fight lulled to a stop. Kaeya was further away from Diluc, yet a part of his mind listened for the patterning of his feet, the crickets of the claymore. He followed the sound, and saw his brother in the clearing. His mind relieved, Kaeya looked away from Diluc towards the emptiness of the snow. He checked the surroundings again, there was a sense of peace. All the monsters were gone. 

They were tired, Kaeya turned around to look at Diluc, a joke ready, and then, his heart leaped. 

The Mitachurl. And it was running straight for Diluc. 

It was at that moment, when Kaeya did not see Master Diluc. The one that hurt him. He did not see Diluc. The one that left him. He did not see the shadow of the captain he had to live up to. 

All he saw was his brother. All Kaeya saw was Luc . 

Kaeya had made a promise that he wouldn’t be late, not ever again. But there wasn’t enough time to draw a weapon, to aim a shot of ice. 

Yet, Kaeya didn’t have a choice to make, because he was already running. And so, as Kaeya ran as fast as his feet would take him, and he screamed, “ LUC! ” 

Diluc POV 

Diluc felt relief as the fight came towards an end. He put down his weapon, and took a deep breath in.  Despite his racing mind, he had gotten through it. Everything was so empty. Kaeya had run off somewhere during the fight. Right, he’d have to yell at Kaeya. Yell at him for what? Being a better person than you? 

It was all a blur. Seconds later he heard a scream. It was his name. The yell of a Mitachurl. Oh no. The Mitachurl. He had forgotten about it. He braced for pain, for the retribution of his mistake. 

In a blur, he was pushed away, into the snow. And the pain never came. 

Yet, Diluc had, for a mere moment, looked towards the sound of the voice, eyes wide, and watched in split-second horror, as the Mitachurl that had been running towards him, hit Kaeya instead. Kaeya had pushed him out of the way. 

His brother. 

His baby brother. 

The one that he was supposed to protect. The one that he swore to protect.

Diluc watched as Kaeya flew into the air, and fell into the snow after being hit by the monster. By his mistake. 

And as he watched Kaeya, his blood turned cold. Because it was not meant for him. That attack was meant for Diluc. 

Why, Kaeya? Because Kaeya had saved him, after everything. 

His eyes widened and the world dared to stop for a mere second, and as the Mitachurl let out a yell of triumph, Diluc saw red. It was that day, when one could say that it rained in Dragonspine. 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

Luc his mind had yelled and he hadn’t even been sure he had said it out loud. 

They were tired, Kaeya had turned around to look at Diluc, a joke ready, and then, his heart leaped. 

The Mitachurl. And it was running straight for Diluc. 

It was at that moment, when Kaeya did not see Master Diluc. The one that hurt him. He did not see Diluc. The one that left him. He did not see the shadow of the captain he had to live up to. 

All he saw was his brother. All Kaeya saw was Luc . 

Kaeya had made a promise that he wouldn’t be late, not ever again. But there wasn’t enough time to draw a weapon, to aim a shot of ice. 

Yet, Kaeya didn’t have a choice to make, because he was already running. And so, as Kaeya ran as fast as his feet would take him, and he screamed, “ LUC! ” 

It hadn’t even been a question, or a choice. Because as soon as Kaeya saw the Mitachurl that was hurling towards Diluc, Kaeya had been running before his mind had even realized what was going on. Because this was his brother. His family. 

Everything started and ended with Diluc didn’t it? 

It was a blur, yet Kaeya remembered everything. It was a blur, yet it felt as though it was an eternity.  He remembered the way he yelled, the way his hand felt as he pushed Diluc out of the way. The way, that for a split-second, Diluc’s fiery eyes had widened and Kaeya realized something so profound as they made eye contact. That it was the first time, in a very long time, that those eyes were not filled with hate. It had been a while. Hadn’t it? 

And then Diluc fell into the snow (very ungracefully), but he was safe . 

Kaeya would often forget whether he was smiling or not for his mask had plastered a permanent smile. Perhaps it was to tell those around him that he was fine, or maybe it was a way to tell himself that he was fine. It was a way to make himself be fine. But Kaeya had smiled, a real smile, because Diluc was okay (and maybe because it was slightly amusing to watch Diluc fall into the snow.) It was strange, because for some reason, as he felt the force of the hit, as the pain lingered, for some reason it didn’t hurt.  He saw the red-head safe and sound, he felt okay. 

Kaeya felt dizzy in the whelm of snow, he felt the coldness of the snow, and then seconds later, he felt gloved hands on his own, and he felt droplets. He opened his eye, and looked up, Diluc was there, tears streaming from his eyes. Oh, Diluc was crying. Oh, he hated when Diluc would cry. 

“Oh,” he said, his voice weak and wavering. Kaeya coughed, “Are you crying cause I didn’t call you ‘Master Diluc’, it was-” he coughed and tried to smile, “a slip of the tongue. Nothing to cry over, Master Diluc .” Kaeya’s voice sounded so weak. It was getting weaker. 

Diluc POV 

As Diluc watched the Mitachurl perish away, he looked around quickly  to find the mess of blue hair in the snow. 

And then, Diluc had run, as fast as he could and finally reached Kaeya. 

Diluc put his gloved hands on Kaeya’s hands, and they were cold despite the gloves they were both wearing. Given that he was a Cyro user, that was expected. Yet, the Cyro vision was oh-so dim. Yet, Kaeya was awake. 

“Call me Luc” Diluc said as he choked back a sob. 

The memory flickered within Diluc’s mind. “Call me Luc!” The red-head had said all those years ago with a toothy grin. It had been so long ago.

“Call me Luc, please” Diluc begged. Please, please. He just needed to hear it.  Please just call me Luc. 

“Luc,” Kaeya whispered, his voice so soft, “I’m sorry.” 

“Why did you do that? Idiot. Why’d you take the hit?” Diluc spoke, his voice wavering, “It’s going to be okay. Just save your breath.” He put pressure onto the wound. It was a bad fall too. 

“Luc,” Kaeya whispered, this time his voice seemed to be begging, “I’m sorry, for everything.” 

“Kae, stop talking! Please!” Diluc hissed because Kaeya seriously needed to stop talking.  Diluc noticed the way Kaeya’s lips curved ever so slightly into a smile, how Kaeya had shifted ever so slightly. You just called me Kae! 

“Luc,” Kaeya continued, ignoring Diluc, “Accept my apology.” 

And that’s when Diluc’s heart thundered. And the world froze. 

Memories came flooding back.

“I’m not leaving until we forgive each other!” Little Kaeya had declared.

“Well then, let’s promise to always forgive each other and not get into fights. Or well, we’ll always get into fights but let’s not let our fights last too long. Promise?”  

“Where I come from, sometimes people don’t wake up as humans after they go to sleep.”

Diluc’s world froze. He heard Kaeya coughing slightly. 

“Where I come from, sometimes people don’t wake up as humans after they go to sleep.”

A boy who had no control over his own fate. A boy who did not know how the days would go. A boy forced into a world that he did not know. 

“Where I come from, sometimes people don’t wake up as humans after they go to sleep.”

A boy who just wanted a family.  A boy who was just so scared and alone. Carrying the burdens that he did not even know about. A boy who just wanted to be loved. A brother that Diluc had thrown away. No, a brother that Diluc had purposely hurt.  All those years ago... A brother that Diluc had abandoned. The family that Diluc had abandoned. The world that Diluc had given up on. The world that Diluc had taken away from. 

The world froze and that’s when Diluc realized. When the world came thundering together in a frozen wasteland  and when the truth pushed the pieces together. When the shards of ice froze for a mere moment, and Diluc could see his reflection in each and every one of them. 

 In the frozeness and the silence brought a clicking of the pieces,, and the truth was clear. The truth was staring at him, the truth was surrounding him. 

“Kae, I was never mad at you. I was- I was mad at myself.” Diluc sobbed. Diluc’s world came crashing down into a million tiny pieces. 

“Kae,  I failed everyone, I ruined everything. First father, and then I wasn’t there for you. And now.” Diluc continued to cry, he couldn’t speak. Diluc did not pray, he begged .  He just had to keep applying pressure. It would be okay. The Cyro Vision wavering ever so slightly. 

“Luc, it’s okay,” Kaeya repeated, the apology accepted, his voice wavering, “I’m sorry.” 

No it’s not. It’s really not. Because Diluc had ruined every single good thing in his life. Why hadn’t he paid attention? Why hadn’t he noticed?

Why hadn’t he realized that Kaeya had been his brother all along. Why hadn’t he taken a moment to pause. Why had things been like this. 

The memory repeated in his mind, jumbled and relentless. 

“Kae go to sleep!” Little Diluc had yelled. 

Little Kaeya had rubbed his eyes, “No, not until you accept my apology!” 

“Where I come from, sometimes people don’t wake up as humans after they go to sleep.”

Because yes it had been a bad day. It had been a horrible day, a day that was all Diluc’s fault. Yet, Kaeya was his brother. Kaeya is his brother.  And despite what had happened on that horrible fateful day, Kaeya had for some stupid reason forgiven him. No, Kaeya had saved him, and Diluc knew he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve forgiveness, yet he had received it. 

They were still brothers, despite everything. Despite every single thing. Because Kaeya still cared and Diluc knew he never deserved it, yet here he was. Save. Because Kaeya had saved him, after everything. They’d be okay. He’d get him help. 

“Kae, please. I’m not accepting your apology.” Diluc paused, his mind racing. “You have nothing to apologize for. I’m the one who should be-” 

A loud caw startled Diluc, ever so slightly. More monsters? 

Then he looked towards the sound and relief flooded him. Jean. 

“Jean,” he said, holding Kaeya’s body, “Please help.” 

They were saved. 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya woke up to the bright yellow rays of sun within the Cathedral, he could feel the sunlight. And that’s what told him that he was here, and not in a vivid dream. He wasn’t sure how much time had indeed passed, yet he’d linger between the world of dreams, or at least as close as a sinner could get to dreams, and then his mind would awake in the present. Then, he’d be back to sleep. Memories from better days mixed into dreams. Yet, as he felt the way the sun shone ever so slightly onto the bed, and the aching of his muscles, he just knew he was in the present.  

And then, he opened his eye ever so slightly. Ah, he felt horrible. Definitely in the real world. He felt the way his eyepatch was pressing onto his skin alongside bandages on his body.  Memories swirled in his mind, and flickered as he looked around. He was covered in a blanket, and there were vases of flowers, notes saying “get well soon”, a slice of bread (and a lot of crumbs), a lot of feathers, and some random trinkets found across Mondstadt and some cards. 

He looked around, seemingly awakening into his surroundings. And that’s when, to his surprise, he saw a mess of red hair sitting on the chair next to his bed, adamantly looking down, and possibly lost in thought. Luc . He looked like a mess. He was bleary-eyed, with dark circles under his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t gotten proper rest for a very long time, yet knowing Diluc, he probably refused to. 

He stared at Diluc unblinking, until those red eyes met his. It felt as though there were a million words being spoken. He tried to smile at his brother and the corners of his mouth hurt, ever so slightly. 

As he watched Diluc’s gaze, he noticed that Diluc’s eyes were not filled with hate. No, those eyes were tired, exhausted, yet there seemed to be no hate. That fire, that fire that had started burning that day, all those years ago, was there. It wasn’t there.  Perhaps there was a spark, perhaps the smoke, perhaps the hot ashes. That could ignite at any minute. 

Kaeya was at a loss of words. It was awkward. Like he hadn’t thought it this far, in all honesty, he hadn’t even thought he’d make it this far. 

He had always thought about it. Thought about what he would say to Diluc when all the hate was gone, when the fire had calmed. At some point (or many points) he’d dreamt of this day, he’d long for this day. It was the hope that he wasn’t able to destroy, that one day things could go back. Back to how they used to be. At one point, when he was alone, in those early days, leading the captainless knights, it had been the only thing that kept him going. There was so much to say, yet he never thought it would actually come. And what was  Kaeya supposed to even say? They were walking on ever-so slightly frozen ice, ice that was barely frozen. 

And then those red eyes looked away, back towards the ground. Then, Diluc spoke in a broken, scratchy voice that sounded oh-so tired, “Barbara says that you’re lucky to be alive.” 

“Oh,” Kaeya spoke wearily. 

 The memories came rushing in as though they were endless, and perhaps they were. He had just sacrificed his life for Luc and he’d do it again without question, and he had found out that Diluc didn’t really hate him. Or maybe that’s just what Luc had said to atleast make a sinner feel at home in what was thought to be their final breath. Yet a little voice deep within him, knew that that was not the case. And Kaeya knew that Diluc really did care. There was so much to say, so much that had already been said. Kaeya grimaced internally, this was so awkward.

The two brothers sat in some more silence, not making eye contact. The sun shone ever so strongly.  There was a time, a very very long time ago, when the silence was not so broken, when the silence was just normal, if not comforting. Little Kaeya would be reading a book (or at least trying to), and then Little Diluc would be doing something silly like fighting an imaginary monster with a wooden sword. The memory made Kaeya internally smile, yet he did not show it. 

Kaeya’s mind ponder. He had to say something. Anything at all. Had to break the silence, had to slip on the mask because despite everything, he didn’t know. Who was Kaeya Alberich without the mask? 

Memories flickered. 

Diluc POV 

He couldn’t look at him. This was all Diluc’s fault. If only he’d noticed the monster. If only he’d been able to stop it before it had hurt Kaeya. Ah, Diluc hadn’t really apologized, had he? 

He couldn’t look at him. Because he’d seen the scars on Kaeya, his ungloved hands now hidden, and he knew that some of the worse ones were not from Dragonspine. Hidden beneath the gown and blanket was pain Diluc could not even dare to think about. 

“If you think this is what retribution looks like, this is what sense looks like, then, then I hate you.” 

But Kaeya didn’t hate him. And while that should have made Diluc happy, should have made his heart race with joy that his little brother still cared, it didn’t. It only made him feel worse , because Kaeya’s “hate” was so much kinder than Diluc’s kindness, his “mercy” ever was and had been. Because it should have been him, not Kaeya. Because Kaeya, despite all that had happened, was still kinder than Diluc had ever been. Father would have been so proud of Kaeya. Diluc was pretty sure Crepus would have disowned Diluc after all that had happened, and he wouldn’t blame him. 

Diluc could not put into words how much he loved his little brother. How he wanted to yell at the very brother for being so foolish as to sacrifice himself so willingly.There was so much left unsaid and unspoken. 

I don’t need you saving me. 

I could have handled that myself. 

Why did you do that, idiot!? 

You should have brought the knights with you. 

It should have been me. 

Don’t do something stupid like that ever again. 

I’m glad that you are okay. 

Diluc felt so pathetic, for after Kaeya woke up, he didn't know what to say. So, he spoke into the broken void, “Barbara says that you’re lucky to be alive.” 

“Oh,” his little brother had said, and Diluc had to hold back tears. It was such a relief to hear his voice again. 

And then they sat in the broken void of unsaid words. It was awkward. 

Diluc coughed slightly and was about to speak when suddenly he heard lots of footsteps, followed by a shrill: “No running in the Cathedral!” 

Kaeya POV 

Seconds later Kaeya heard, "Brother Kaeya!” and watched with perhaps slight amusement as he saw Timmie followed closely by Bennett and Klee. 

“Brother Kaeya, you’re okay!” Timmie had said seemingly on the verge of tears, and Kaeya smiled, “You think a little snow could hurt me?” 

“We were all really worried about you,” Bennett said, “You were out for 3 days.” 

“3 whole days!” Klee had emphasized, and he could see the tears about the form in her eyes.
Kaeya wasn’t able to hide the shock from his eye. 3 days? His mind raced, he had been gone for 3 days ? Diluc was here for 3 days? Diluc stayed by his side for 3 days? 

Then, Kaeya shuddered, there was probably a pile, if not mountain, of paperwork waiting for him. 

Kaeya looked towards the chair where Diluc had been sitting, and saw that it was empty. Oh, he hadn’t noticed him leaving. He didn’t know why it stung, but it did. He watched as the room seemed to be a second away from tears (Kaeya included). 

“Oh, I hope the pigeons didn’t miss me too much,” Kaeya tried to joke.

“The pigeons missed you a lot!” Timmie quickly interjected and watched and Klee and Bennett nodded in unison. The teary eyes were gone, atleast. 

“They wanted to visit you,” Timmie added. 

“We tried bringing them with us but Barbara said they weren’t allowed.” Bennett replied, scratching his head and pointed towards a (rather well-drawn albeit rushed) poster stating “No pigeons allowed.” Kaeya had not remembered this poster being there previously. Perhaps, it was a new addition. Oh, so that explains the feathers that had likely been picked up and placed as a sense of pity. Because, unfortunately, Kaeya knew the pigeons. Those little foolish pigeons that were so cruel to him. He’d somehow learned about their little minds that could find homes and follow some sort of path. Yet, before his mind could race, a voice brought him out of his thoughts. 

“So we tried sneaking them!” Klee spoke cheerily, unaware of how she had just gleefully confessed to breaking the new rule. Or at least attempting to. 

“You snuck pigeons into the Cathedral?”  Kaeya said, unable to hide the shock from his voice and face (no matter how sick he felt). And, as if on cue, Kaeya heard the cooing of pigeons. He couldn't help but laugh. 

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

Diluc had left quietly without a trace. His brother’s family was here to visit, and Diluc had an inkling feeling as though he did not belong there. Or atleast, he had a feeling that he did not deserve to be there.

Diluc walked quickly, keeping his head down. His brother was okay, and Diluc knew that he should be happy. And he was, yet there was anger that lingered within. Not at Kaeya, never at Kaeya. 

The Darknight Hero had a lot of work to do. Or maybe even Diluc himself. 

It was strange, because Diluc knew that there were times when rest was important. Yet, there was a gnawing feeling that just wouldn’t let him. That would scream that he didn’t deserve it. And as Diluc searched the map for monster camps, he was reminded of the time in Snezhnaya. The grief, the anger at the world, and at himself . Because Diluc had to be stronger, better and he just couldn’t end up like this. As he readied his claymore, he sighed. Because of all of this suffering, it needed to make him stronger, because if it didn’t then he would have let down everyone around him even more and he just couldn’t let that happen. But, he thought despairingly into the wind, hadn’t he already let everybody down? 

Kaeya POV 

As Kaeya watched with slight amusement as the nuns tried to get the pigeons out of the Cathedral he hadn’t noticed the quiet steps that walked towards him. Timmie and the others had been kicked out by a very upset Barbara who had ushered them out in the guise of “Kaeya needs rest!” Though, Kaeya knew it was likely because of the pigeons. 

Kaeya closed his eye, sleep daring to take over. Yet, a slight cough woke up Kaeya as he faced Jean. To the untrained eye, Jean looked as she normally did. Acting Grandmaster, calm and cool and collected. 

Yet to Kaeya, she looked like a mess (and Kaeya was pretty sure it was his fault). 

“Kaeya,” she spoke sternly. 

“Ah, Jean,” Kaeya spoke a slight smile in his eye, “How lovely it is for you to visit. Please feel free to leave any wine on the table right there.” Kaeya gestured to an (unfortunately) empty table.  Kaeya knew that a lecture about needing to be more careful, and n ot running to do a mission that needs an entire team by yourself was waiting to be said. Yet, Kaeya saw that disappear quickly as it was replaced by something else as the Acting Grandmaster turned into his lifelong friend. 

“Kaeya,” Jean said, her voice wavering, “I was so scared. This was the second time..” And Kaeya knew what she meant. 

Kaeya was going to say something along the lines of Well, the third time’s the charm. Yet, no joke was spoken as Jean looked at Kaeya as though he would disappear any second. “Jean,” Kaeya spoke, and then in a voice he didn’t realize would sound so broken, he whispered “Thank you. If it wasn’t for you again , I’d be-” 

“Kaeya, no.” Jean spoke, “You don’t need to thank me, ever.” The Cathedral was quiet. The pigeons had hidden away the quiet rustling of their wings and footsteps mixing with the sound of the wind. 

“You, know,” Jean spoke in a quiet whisper, in a voice that sounded so guilty and ashamed, “For a second, I thought Diluc had done something to you again,” 

The weight of the words sat silently in the room. It took a second to process, and another to really understand what it meant. 

Diluc POV 

Diluc, or perhaps the Darknight Hero, had quietly walked within the Cathedral. He wasn’t sure why, yet he’d just wanted to check-up on Kaeya. Because knowing Kaeya, he probably wouldn’t rest until he had no choice. 

Yet, as Diluc listened to quiet voices in the Cathedral he froze. There was Jean and Kaeya. Diluc’s past was right in front of him. He stood there quietly.  

“For a second, I thought Diluc had done something to you again,” 

Again .

Again. 

Diluc knew he had no right to feel so hurt by that, because he deserved it, yet he heard the shattering of his soul as he quickly raced away, the silence of the day hiding his path, and the wind whisking away any tears that could dare to fall. Because he had already done something so horrid. 

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya thought he had heard the racing of footsteps, yet it was likely the pigeons doing their pigeon things. 

He didn’t look at Jean, yet he knew that there was no running from the truth (like literally - he was exhausted and was pretty sure Jean and Barbara would chase him down if he tried to run right now). 

Kaeya pondered  for a mere second, “Honestly, if he did, I wouldn’t have blamed him…” 

“No,” Jean spoke, “Don’t speak like that.” She continued, “I should apologize, I shouldn’t have thought that, but it’s just after everything…” 

There was a part of Kaeya that wanted to defend his brother, to argue that Diluc would never do something like that. Yet, Diluc did . Yes, maybe Kaeya did deserve it. But, Diluc had still attacked. He wasn’t the brother he had been when they were kids. The world had shaped them. All of them. 

Kaeya wasn’t sure what drove him to say it, but he spoke suddenly. “Jean, I need to tell you the truth.” 

Of course, the approach was different. Of course, the situation was different. Kaeya definitely had learned that he needed to make some small adjustments to the delivery of the truth. Because emotions lingered within the air. Kaeya was a fool, just like the pigeons. Yet, here they all were. Pigeons in a Cathedral that they weren’t allowed in, and Kaeya in a city that he could not call home. Kaeya knew the approach had to be different. 

Of course, Kaeya being Kaeya after being asleep for 3 days instead blurted out:
“I’m a traitor like Eroch .” Yikes.

There was a small drift of wind that Kaeya noticed, he felt his hair flutter ever so slightly for a mere moment and closed his eyes. And as soon as the wind appeared it was gone. And his heart twisted knowing that today, there wouldn’t be any drafts of winds within the Cathedral walls. 

Yet, when he looked at Jean, he didn’t see hate. He didn’t see that fire that had been in Diluc’s eyes. Instead, he saw confusion. Ah, he could explain things better, and he’d been given the chance to. “I’m not from here,” Kaeya spoke, his mask fell and his voice wavered. Because Kaeya could get information from the world around him, whether it be bandits or thieves. He could throw on a mask and pretend to be who he needed to be when it wasn’t who he actually was. He could speak lies with ease and a smile. Yet, when he spoke the truth, it was broken and scary and so many things. 

Because hope was a scary and dangerous thing. Because hope had destroyed his family, and forced him to live under a shroud of frozen lies. Guilt had wavered the line between truth and lies and turned them both into sins. 

And here Kaeya was, speaking the truth and freeing himself from the lies and now burdening the world with the truth. Guided by some emotion that started because of some foolish pigeons. 

“I’m from Khaenri'ah.” Kaeya spoke, looking at his hands. 

“Oh,” Jean replied and truthfully she didn’t seem all too shocked. 

Well, it had been a few seconds and he wasn’t fighting for his life. So this was off to a great start. 

“I think back when we were kids, I said that my father had gone looking for some grape juice.” Kaeya paused, realizing how much his voice wavered, “That wasn’t the truth.” 

“Y’know I guess you probably thought that was the reason why I hate grape juice so much, because it reminds me of my father,” Kaeya rambled on, “But grape juice is just a horrible drink.” And Diluc loves it. 

Kaeya looked at Jean, and she seemed to be listening. Yeah, there was no escape. 

“I was sent here as a spy.” Kaeya whispered. He felt the room pause for a second and a drift of wind flutter in the air. Kaeya continued, “For Khaenri'ah.” His voice felt weak. So weak. He hadn’t even realized that tears were falling. “I’m their last hope,” he croaked out, “Their chance.” 

He couldn’t look at her. For if he saw that hate, it would shatter him. So he just stared at his hands. After a few seconds he realized he was still alive. And he felt a hand on his shoulder. 

He continued through the tears and fear and the thundering of his heart, “I’m their chance.” 

“Kaeya,” Jean spoke, sympathy in her voice and Kaeya hated how he felt like it was pity. 

“And so, I told Diluc. I told him everything and I know it was a bad day to tell him, and maybe that’s why I told him.” Kaeya had left out some details, and that was fine. 

“So, I know you are upset with Diluc, but seriously, I know why he reacted like that. Don’t-” 

Kaeya’s voice wavered for a second. “Don’t blame him.” Kaeya continued, “I don’t blame him.” 

They sat in silence, with Kaeya’s tears falling, yet Jean did not say anything. 

And then Jean spoke, “Kaeya, you-” she coughed, seemingly hiding away her tears, “You were just a child.”  Her voice, it seemed so sad. Kaeya did not speak yet the silence was not uncomfortable, it was simply peaceful. Emotions sitting in the air. 

“I know,” Kaeya eventually spoke, “But-” 

“Kaeya, you had no choice,” Jean spoke adamantly. Kaeya was about to argue, but I could have chosen a different day, I could have waited for a better time , yet the words were lost for now. 

“Have you chosen?” And Kaeya sent Jean a pointed look, with some amusement. Obviously he had chosen Mondstadt. “I have, but-” Kaeya let the weight of the world sink in because had he really just thrown away his past so easily? He’d never been asked that question before.  And so he spoke the truth once more: “I don’t know.” 

Kaeya felt a surge of emotions, “I’m just like Eroch, I’m a traitor.” Kaeya said, and he felt as though the emotions that were once sitting like a calm ocean in the Cathedral had turned into a raging river. And maybe, that was okay. 

“No matter what I do,” Kaeya couldn’t stop the tears from falling. “No matter what I do, no matter what I choose, I’ll always be a traitor.” 

Because for Kaeya had chosen Mondstadt, he had betrayed the world looking for a beacon of hope. A chance for hope. He was a traitor to his father, to his family to the remains of a ruin trying to build itself up. 

And so only one thing remained certain, even if Kaeya chose Mondstadt, he would still be a traitor. 

Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor.

 “I’m a traitor,” Kaeya said, his voice broken, “I let them all down.” Because that voice within him wanted to choose Mondstadt, the city that had given him true freedom. Yet, no matter how hard he tried, he’d never be able to forget the “home” he never knew. 

“Kaeya,” Jean said, “The weight of a world should not depend on a child.” 

“I know,” Kaeya spoke, “But still,” Kaeya took a deep breath. “There’s no way out of this. Because I’m trying to leave the past behind but one day, one day-” 

“Do not let the anticipation of war bells silence the songs of the bard,” Jean spoke seemingly lost in thought yet so much in the present. 

Kaeya laughed, and perhaps tried to pick up whatever pieces of the mask that were left. “Depends on who the bard is. If it’s Venti? Truth be told, I’d much rather listen to the sound of war bells.” Kaeya paused, remembering how the bard had taken his wine on more than one occasion, the smile quickly disappearing from his face as quickly as it had appeared.

 “No offense,” he quickly added to the wind, hoping to be safe from the storm. Because Kaeya could remember the glare of the eyes that haunted his dreams, though he had never seen it before, it was still there. The intuition that seeped within his blood, within his very veins. A sheep did not need to meet the wolf to know to be afraid of it, it simply was. And a sheep would always remember the wolf, no matter what form it takes. Or perhaps it would be a wolf, fearing a dragon. But if dragons were pigeons and pigeons were fools… Kaeya did not let his mind wander too much. Ah, hopefully at worst it would just be a stolen drink. 

Jean sent him a pointed look, with some slight annoyance, and a slight smile. “Kaeya, you can’t change the past,” and then she continued, “Just as you can’t control the future.” 

“Yes,” Kaeya started, “But-.” 

“Kaeya,” Jean said in a soft voice, “It is true that no matter what you do you are a traitor . Whether it be to Mondstadt or- ”

Ouch! Kaeya sent Jean a pointed look and spoke sarcastically “Thank you Jean, I feel so much better now.” 

Jean lightly hit Kaeya on the shoulder, Kaeya pretended it hurt more than it actually did. He’s pretty sure he scared Jean for a split second.  She continued speaking, “I can’t tell you what to do, or what to choose, or how to react. I can’t tell you what you should have done. I can’t tell you what will happen,” and for a moment, Kaeya felt as though he was talking to the Acting Grandmaster, not his friend. 

“But Kaeya, you truly are a good person. That is the one thing I can tell you. And no matter what happens, I trust you .” Jean spoke. 

And then Kaeya’s world paused for just a second longer. 

“Even if I’m like Eroch?” a teasing tone in his voice yet looking for redemption for himself. “Kaeya, you are nothing like Eroch.” Jean continued, “Eroch was a horrible person, and he was proud of it.”Jean continued, “Kaeya, you may not say it, but you show it. Everyone truly does know how much you care for those around you.” And that was true. Kaeya did care for the world around him. Because Kaeya somehow found himself caring for pigeons. Pigeons for Archons sake! 

“Perhaps that is true, but my past, I’m stil-” a traitor, and for some reason he couldn’t say it out loud. 

“Our past does not define us, Kaeya.” Jean stated, and Kaeya saw no point in arguing with that. 

“Ah, I wish Diluc would have thought all that,” Kaeya said with a sigh, changing the topic before he got more emotional, yet had unintentionally wandered into something even worse. Kaeya continued, “Y’know, I understand why he did that though, my timing was pretty horrid.” 

“Hurt people hurt people,” Jean spoke, and she continued quickly, “It doesn’t make it right, and he shouldn’t have done that to you.” 

“I don’t know,” Kaeya said, “It’s just, perhaps I was selfish, and I know I should have waited, should have been there for him.” The truth wasn’t going anywhere. He’d still be a traitor no matter the day. 

“Both of you were very hurt that day, you were as well Kaeya…” Jean trailed off, and Kaeya could tell that she was very confused on what to say herself. It truly was a complicated situation. Because as he watched her eyes, he saw her, in typical Jean fashion, looking for a solution, a diplomatic middle ground. But, by listening to him (oh and also maybe keeping him alive) was more than enough. 

“Ah, it seems I have stumped the incredible, perfect, Acting Grandmaster Jean,” he teased. Hoping that she would no longer be stressed. 

“I’m not perfect,” Jean said quickly. 

The silence returned. It was not uncomfortable. 

“Y’know, it’s kind of funny,” Jean said with a hint of guilt, “but I used to be jealous-”

Kaeya was in shock, “What?” He blurted. Jean slightly laughed at the expression on Kaeya’s face. 

“It’s just you and Diluc were so close,” Jean continued, “And Barbara and I-” 

Kaeya looked at her to continue, “It’s just Barbara and I, we don’t really get along, especially after what happened with our parents,” Jean murmured. 

 “And I remember back then just wishing I had something like that. You two were inseparable.” Jean quickly explained, rather embarrassed. 

Oh, so this was interesting. But like interesting in a sad way because had Kaeya noticed?  She quickly added, “Of course it was great being friends with both of you,” 

Jean laughed, and it was hollow, as she tried to continue, “It’s just, I try to be the good older sister, and for some reason I don’t think Barbara really likes me. We don’t really get along.” 

And Kaeya was about to say, you are Jean, Acting Grandmaster Jean and the Dandelion Knight! But then he stopped to listen.

 “I don’t know, because I try to set a good example, or go to her concerts when I can but just with the knights, it’s so busy, and I-” and she began to ramble. 

“Jean,” Kaeya said with a slight smirk, and raised his eyebrow, “Have you tried talking to her?” 

Jean looked at him rather astounded and didn’t make eye contact with him. 

“Jean,” Kaeya replied, trying to hide the smirk off his face. Now it was time for Kaeya to be the wise one, “It’s just that, without words, sometimes our actions get lost or perhaps misinterpreted .” 

“Oh,” Jean replied, listening. Kaeya continued, “Y’know having Diluc as a sibling was not always easy. Especially when he first got his Vision,” Kaeya chuckled, and then his tone became more serious, “But at times, I’d just compare myself to him.” 

Jean watched him adamantly, as though she was taking notes, “It’s just sometimes knowing someone, especially a sibling, that is just so incredible hurts . It’s like being next to the Sun,” Kaeya let the words sink in. “Like the Sun isn’t trying to hurt you, like it’s just shining and doing it’s own thing and helping people and whatnot,” Kaeya paused and thought to himself about how tough it was to live in Diluc’s shadow after he had left. “But standing next to it hurts. And Diluc and I were close, so I’d know deep down he wasn’t trying to hurt me, but I’d still compare myself to him.” He couldn’t imagine how Barbara felt. 

“I could be wrong, but maybe if you tried talking to your sister…” Kaeya trailed off, since it looked like Jean had understood what he was trying to say and she did. 

Kaeya yawned, feeling tired. Being so wise was very tiring, he wasn’t sure how Jean did it. 

Jean, who seemed to have quickly noticed, got up, “Take some time off to rest.” 

“Alright, alright,” Kaeya waved off, “I’ll be back to work tomorrow.” It was a joke, but perhaps he wanted to know if he truly was welcomed or not. 

“Kaeya,” Jean said, her voice stern and warning, “Get some rest, I mean it.” And then, Kaeya watched as she walked away, and then quickly turned around, “Kaeya, thank you.” For what? He wanted to ask, but perhaps he already knew. 

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

Diluc was leaving. He quickly walked his mind racing. That was it and that was all. He couldn’t stay in Mondstadt anymore. He couldn’t stay in a place where no one trusted him. A place where he did not even trust himself. 

You’re running away again. Aren’t you? Can’t face your fears? Can’t face your brother? Can’t face yourself? 

As he walked, he watched as his bird friend led the way, not trusting himself to think clearly. Because at the end, that was really the only one Diluc had left. The only one Diluc hadn’t chased away. 

Because Dawn would come one day. One day things would be better. But Diluc couldn’t control the Sun. All he could do was stand and watch the sunrise. And would he just have to spend the rest of the days waiting for that one day when things would be better. And he felt so helpless. Bound by the world he could not control. 

Because time after time, Diluc would only realize how helpless he was. Like when the knights had hidden the truth about Father. When he couldn’t save his father. He had a Vision yet he was still so helpless. And now, Diluc heard how one of his childhood friends thought he had hurt his brother, and the saddest part was that there was no reason to doubt it. 

Because Diluc had . Because what Jean had thought had once been a fact and a clear possibility, but it never should have been. Because Diluc felt so helpless that he had attacked someone who was even more helpless. Because it would have made him feel better? Right. 

Because instead of fighting the battle within him, he had attacked. And that was wrong. 

All those years ago, and in the present Diluc was still too weak. The years spent alone had made him stronger, yet not strong enough if he couldn't even control his racing mind. Diluc couldn’t and wouldn’t be mediocre, no, he had spent his entire life being something more than average. It couldn’t end like this. It couldn’t be like this. 

Diluc couldn’t stay here, he had to go fight something, become stronger. Because the pain just had to have a purpose. Logic withered within Diluc’s mind telling him that he was crazy, that he was acting irrationally. 

Yet, he continued to race. And then, as he walked quickly, his mind finally registered where he was. And there, up on the bridge he saw the boy that Kaeya now called “brother.” 

And that boy was there throwing bread to the pigeons.

And he was crying. 

Diluc watched with sad curiosity, Timmie’s tears were streaming down his face as he chucked the bread. And it reminded him so much of when Kaeya was little. When Kaeya had first arrived at their home, Diluc had wondered why the boy cried so much. They had assumed that Kaeya obviously missed his father, but Diluc now wondered if that was all to the story. 

Diluc walked slowly as memories lingered. 

He was a knight, or perhaps he had been a newly appointed cavalry captain. He remembered walking into Angel’s Share, his father cleaning a wine glass. It was quiet, which made sense given that his father bore a smile, like he often did, but this time it was a little different. His father’s eyes had a sort of longing- as though he was walking through the wisps of memories.

“Father,” Diluc had said all those years ago, and had watched as his father’s glazed eyes came to the present. 

“It looks like we’ve lost one of our most loyal customers. Perhaps two…” Father had said, and he didn’t seem sad, instead lost in a world of nostalgia. After noticing the confused look in Diluc’s eyes, Master Crepus had continued. 

“No, not in that way,” he had clarified with a chuckle and pointed ever so slightly towards a man who was talking animatedly and with so much joy. Diluc recognized Draff, and his close friend. Later he’d known that it was Timmie’s father. 

Two of the bar’s most well known patrons. 

Diluc chuckled, “I highly doubt that.” 

“Ah,” Master Crepus said with a smile, “Don’t be so surprised, people can change.” 

Rarely for the better, Diluc did not say out loud. He watched the wrinkles near his father’s eyes as he smiled. Because the world would become more disordered, it was simply the law of nature. 

In what was said to be the final drunken spur, Diluc had overheard the words being spoken to Draff, “Y’know, I’ve messed up so many things in my life, but this, I just want to get this right. I wanna set a good example.” 

The way that Timmie’s father had one time even asked Master Crepus for advice on how to be a good father.

How Diluc had heard whispers from Charles, that confirmed the birth of a small boy had turned away one of their best customers. 

Father had ended up being right and that had made Diluc smile despite the fact that two of Angel’s Share patrons were gone. Diluc was impressed. Draff had stopped too, until that day. Until the day when things went wrong.  How he’d check into the voices and one day heard the 

way that the world had stopped for a little boy, but that boy didn’t know that. 

“Hello,” Diluc said to Timmie who was still crying and didn't seem to notice him. Of course, the pigeons had noticed Diluc’s pet and had flown away in a sort of rage. Diluc hoped that Timmie had been too busy wiping away his tears on his sleeves to notice. Yet the boy had noticed, and said in between sobs, “You scared my pigeons away!” Yet, the usual emotion wasn’t there. 

So, Diluc, instead awkwardly spoke, “There’s nothing I can do about it now.” And then Timmie started crying even more as Diluc realized that he probably shouldn’t have said that. Diluc’s bird, seemingly getting the memo, quickly flew away. 

Diluc pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and handed it to the boy. 

And he stared at the empty bridge as Timmie continued to cry yet watched as the pigeons slowly returned. 

“Can you tell your bird that I am sorry for getting upset, I know that it was not its fault.” Timmie said.

“I will,” Diluc spoke quietly. 

“Are you okay?” Diluc asked. 

“No,” Timmie had said sadly and continued seemingly very worried about the bird, “Please make sure you tell your bird that I’m sorry for getting upset, it’s just that the pigeons are my best friends, they’re always here for me and they help me talk with my dad.” 

And at that Diluc paused. Because Timmie didn’t know. 

Diluc wasn’t sure if Kaeya knew what had happened to Timmie’s father. Though Kaeya was one to look deeply into people’s past, find the secrets of thieves, treasure hoarders and bandits with ease, Diluc noticed that Kaeya would often draw the line with the people he knew. The people he cared about.  Not to say that Kaeya was slacking; he simply wouldn't pry further than needed into the past of his friends and slowly learned through casual conversation and life. Or at least that is what Diluc had assumed.  Kaeya would accept them at their face.

Back to the present, Diluc watched Timmie as he explained how the pigeons would help him seemingly a little happier.  And that hurt Diluc because Timmie didn’t know the truth. And Diluc knew it wasn’t his place to tell the truth. But would there ever be a time. 

Was this how Kaeya felt? 

Because Timmie would be so upset, and he had every right to. And the truth was right there yet no one could speak it. 

Diluc tried to change the topic, “Why were you crying?” He asked not really thinking about what to say, just wanting to silent his mind. 

At that, Timmie started to cry again. “I know the pigeons can help me talk to my dad who is on an adventure, but-” and then Diluc watched as more tears welled up.

“But Mister Diluc, what if-” and then Timmie said in a voice so sad and hurt, “But what if Brother Kaeya goes somewhere where my pigeons can’t reach him.” 

And at that, Diluc froze and his heart thundered. His hands shook, and that was fear .

Timmie trailed off, “I don’t want to tell that to Brother Kaeya because I don’t want to make him worried about me…”

Diluc knew how to be a big brother, but here he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even want to think back to that snowy wasteland where he had almost lost everything.

“I don’t want to be alone again.” Timmie spoke, voice wavering and broken, “I’m scared.” 

To that rainy day where he almost destroyed everything with his own two hands. To that day when he hadn’t realized how lucky he truly was. 

To the day he realized how alone he was. 

Diluc didn’t know what to say, what to do next. 

Yet all Diluc knew after everything was that he couldn’t leave. No, he had to stay. He could become better. He had to. 

“I think sometimes all that we can do is just be in the present and just be happy for what we have,” Diluc said, watching the pigeons. He could be optimistic right? What would his father have said. Diluc wasn’t really good at this. 

“That doesn’t really make me feel better,” Timmie said, and quickly apologized. 

“I know,” Diluc replied. 

He felt so helpless. 

He waited until Grace arrived, who had thanked him. 

Diluc wasn’t going to run away. He’d have to face the helplessness and everything head on. For some reason, his steps led him towards the birdhouses and watched the young birds who were nestled safely within. 

“Ah, look who we have here,” said a voice and Diluc turned around. Kaeya. 

And Diluc really didn’t know what to say. 

Are you feeling better? Are you okay? I’m sorry. You can hate me, I know that I deserve it. I’m sorry for being so pathetic. 

“Are you supposed to be here?” Diluc asked not daring to meet his eye, and Kaeya laughed. “Well, I’m supposed to be resting at the Cathedral but I should be fine getting some fresh air. And I may or may not be on patrol. Just don’t tell Barbara.” 

What was Diluc supposed to say. Because Diluc knew that Kaeya would defend him because that was just who Kaeya was. Why aren’t you mad at me? Why don’t you hate me?! Please just hate me so I can feel less bad about what I did. I deserve it. 

“Hmm, I don’t think this little bird has learned to fly yet.” Kaeya said, seemingly to himself. 

As Diluc finally got ready to say something, he noticed Kaeya sway ever so slightly. 

“Hey,” Kaeya started, and then slowly swayed again. 

Diluc quickly ran the short distance between them, grabbing Kaeya before he collapsed.

… 

Diluc stood in the Cathedral, arms crossed and tapping his foot as he waited. 

“Master Diluc,” Barbara spoke as she walked towards him. “Sir Kaeya is exhausted. He seems to have gotten sick and needs to rest!”  

“Oh,” Diluc said. Barbara continued, and Diluc knew that if Kaeya wasn’t asleep he would be hearing this instead.  “I keep telling him to stay inside while he recovers but he snuck out and now he’s got a fever!” 

Then she let out a sigh, “He’s okay though. I just don’t know why he doesn’t take time to rest. Just like Jean! The two of them really stress me out sometimes.”

Diluc flinched, the mention of Jean reminding him about what Jean had said. Yet ignored it, preferring to listen to Barbara’s mini (but well intentioned) rant. 

“Well, anyways, Sir Kaeya is lucky to have you here. I know that you’ve had some quarrels in the past but I really think it means a lot” 

Ah, if she only knew the truth. The truth of how cruel Diluc was. Yet, the truth was that only Kaeya and Diluc (and maybe Jean) knew the truth, and Diluc didn’t say anything.

“I worry a lot about the two of them. I just wish they’d listen and take breaks.” Barbara said, “Sometimes with Jean it feels like she doesn’t even care what I have to say.” 

“I think she does care what you have to say,” Diluc said nonchalantly. 

“Hm,” Barbara said, “I don’t know, she just never really isn’t there. Like for my concerts…” 

Her eyes widened as she realized Diluc was there waving her hands, “Not trying to say that my concerts are more important than being Acting Grand Master or anything. Obviously.” she quickly added. 

“Your sister cares about you a lot,” Diluc spoke. Memories of Jean exclaiming how she wanted to set a good example wandered within his mind. 

“It doesn’t really feel like it. I think she tolerates me at best.” Barbara said with a soft chuckle. 

“Have you ever tried talking to her about this?” 

“About what?” Barbara asked.  

“Everything. Your feelings are important too and maybe talking could help.” 

“I just don’t want to burden her.” Barbara said softly, “I know she’s trying her best.” 

“But what about you?” Diluc stated. 

And the words settled into the air. 

“Thank you Master Diluc, I’ll try talking with her.”

Kaeya POV 

As Kaeya woke up, he, in typical Kaeya fashion, laughed at Barbara’s annoyed (but worried look) that was present. He noticed Diluc was there as well talking to each other. 

“Ah, it looks like my patrol didn’t go as expected.” 

Barbara huffed and looked at him, “Sir Kaeya! You need to rest, why were you even outside?” 

“Ah, I have a secret to tell you,” he paused for dramatic effect, “ I am actually the Darknight Hero,” Kaeya said with a face void of any emotion. Though, he did try to look a little towards Diluc (without actually looking at him) to see what his brother’s reaction would be. 

Barbara sighed. 

“What, you don’t believe me?” 

“First of all,” Barbara said holding a finger, “Even if you were the Darknight Hero, you still need to rest.” Second of all, Barbara said, “The Darknight Hero has been on a rampage the past few days while you were recovering. So unless you are able to be at two places at once, I highly doubt that” 

And at that Kaeya couldn’t hide the shock. What was Diluc up to? Diluc should be resting! But also a sad tinge, for Diluc had gone on some sort of rampage again, and why did it remind him so much of the aftermath of that day. It's all your fault Kaeya. Again. 

“You really need to be more careful. The nuns are too busy to always be keeping a watch on you, Sir Kaeya.” 

Kaeya felt sleep take over again. 

Diluc POV 

“Maybe you can take him to Dawn Winery to keep an eye on him.” Barbara said to Diluc, and Diluc wasn’t sure if it was a joke. Or if he wanted it to be so he wouldn’t have to think about that day. Yet he couldn’t hide the way he had flinched. 

Because that day, Diluc had swore that he’d never let that traitor back into his house. He’d never let Kaeya find any semblance of home or peace, because that was the mercy a traitor would get. That was the mercy he’d offered his brother, the retribution. 

I will never hurt our home, Kaeya had whispered that day. Kaeya had sworn to never hurt Mondstadt. 

That had enraged Diluc and he remembered yelling, Don’t you dare call this place home. 

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya felt strange. It felt like a million degrees. Yet, he felt the cool towel on his head. He’d wake up, then drift back to sleep. He wasn’t sure what were dreams and what was the truth. 

Yet, for some reason he felt so nostalgic. And his dreams seemed to agree. Because there were dreams about the memories of his childhood.

Because the slight smell of wine that lingered didn’t bring him joy, instead it brought him yearning towards a time that had once existed. A nostalgia that reminded him of all that he had lost. It was the smell of wood and wine. The smell of a fireplace that had been quietly burning bringing a hint of warmth. 

He felt that he was home, but that was a lie, because that was something he didn’t have. He didn’t deserve to. That wasn’t the truth. Yet, as memories flickered, that was all he could feel.

Yearning for the home he never had. The home that he once did have. 

Ah, being sick was horrid.

As Kaeya opened his eye, he saw Diluc walking towards him. The Cathedral looked a little different, but he didn’t look at it too much. Because right now, all he could imagine was the warmth of the house that had once been his home, and he didn’t want to let that go. 

Wait, the dandelion wine. Luc had promised it hadn’t he. 

And then, Kaeya spoke, seemingly trying to mimic a teasing glint. “Where are my dozen bottles of dandelion wine?” 

Diluc POV 

Diluc stared at Kaeya and did his best to hide any hint of sadness. 

“What?” Kaeya replied with a teasing glint, stifling a (fake) cough, “dandelion wine is the best medicine!” 

Diluc chuckled, hoping that Kaeya wouldn’t hear how heartless he felt, “You really are Father’s son.” 

Kaeya had flinched, ever so slightly. And then, they paused for a while, perhaps there was a lightness in the air. Kaeya seemed lost. 

Then, Kaeya spoke, and his expression carried a sense of uncertainty, as though he didn’t expect Diluc to believe what would be said next. 

“Y’know, Father knew .” 

Oh.

Oh . 

Diluc looked at Kaeya and his eyes widened. “What?” Diluc had said in a mere whisper even though he already knew what the answer would be. 

“Father, Master Crepus - he knew.” Was all Kaeya said, neither of them looking at the other. 

“Oh,” Diluc had whispered. All this time. Father had known. 

Kaeya POV 

He hadn’t meant to say that part out loud yet Kaeya was in the realm of waking up, surrounded by memories. Surrounded by the smell of lingering wood that felt so comforting and by the slight aroma of wine. The smell of slight rain falling onto the stones. Surrounded by the smell of warmth and the Earth. 

It reminded him of Father. 

It was a memory from a long time ago, a memory so vivid that Kaeya was pretty sure he had made it up as a child for a way to cope. It was a memory that Kaeya had buried so deep, for he could not give a second to a chance of hope. Yet, perhaps it was a memory that bore the truth, relentless and unforgettable. It was a memory that Kaeya did not dare think about, yet it was there, buried amongst the rubble within him. It was a memory that had been buried, that Kaeya had tried so hard to forget because he didn’t believe he deserved it, yet perhaps, it deep down was the truth, relentless and sincere. 

It was a vivid memory, that Kaeya wasn’t sure he was allowed to find comfort in. Because if he truly was a traitor then he did not deserve it. 

Yet for some reason, it was all he could think about. 

It had been raining. Kaeya had walked quietly towards the walls of the house, or as silent as he could have. Young Kaeya had gone outside looking for his past and running towards the future. 

Kaeya had thought  it was amusing, how lovely it had been that it was raining. It was perfect. For if someone saw him, they wouldn’t have ever known that he was crying. Rain was good at hiding tears from the world around him. Yet, he still remembers the taste of salt, the taste of tears that had been only known to him. 

He hadn’t found anyone or anything outdoors, which was a relief. Not from his present or his past. And Kaeya hated how happy he was, he despised himself for being happy that no one had tried to contact him. The guilt would linger, because he was the hope for a nation. 

Young Kaeya had walked quietly towards the front door, and his closed eye. The rain would hide his tears and that was what he was grateful for and then he’d look into the mirror and see that it was only the rain. Why would Kaeya be crying? 

 And he held his breath as he quietly opened the door. 

And there he saw Master Crepus sitting by the fireplace reading. He saw his eyes and froze. 

“Kaeya, you’re back!” his father spoke sternly and he sounded mad and worried. 

It made sense. Of course it did. Kaeya is a traitor and now Father was worried about what Kaeya had done to Mondstadt. 

Because Kaeya knew that Father wouldn’t believe him if he said he had not done anything wrong, at least not yet. 

“Fath- Master Crepus,” Kaeya stammered as he froze. And for some reason the lies he could easily come up with were not there. Everything was over. Kaeya failed. And for some reason he felt a sick sense of peace. It was over. 

I’m sorry. Kaeya had thought. He wasn’t able to say it out loud. Kaeya closed his eye. 

And then, 

“Why’d you go outside without a coat!? You’ll catch a cold!” Father had tutted, and he continued, “It’s also so late, you could get hurt!” And Kaeya’s eye widened as he listened as Father continued to go on his rant, “I was worried sick.” 

Kaeya had choked back a sob as more tears fell. Why?   

“I’m sorry,” he spoke as his father hugged him, “It’s okay.” 

“It’s not I-” I am a spy he did not say. 

“I know,” Master Crepus spoke. And Kaeya’s world froze. 

“What?” Kaeya said in a small voice. Maybe Father hadn’t understood what he meant. 

“I’m-” Kaeya started because he needed to say the truth out loud, but he couldn’t continue and he sobbed. 

“Kaeya, it’s okay.” Father had said. And Kaeya didn’t need to hide his tears. 

The rain had pattered outside, but all Kaeya could think about as he drank his hot chocolate in front of the fireplace was that maybe the rain wasn’t so bad after all. 

Kaeya had indeed caught a cold and had been sick for the next few days and Diluc had pouted not knowing why Kaeya was crying over a cold. 

“Or at least I’m pretty sure he did.” Kaeya added to the present. 

The two brothers sat in silence.

Chapter Text

Diluc POV

“Or at least I’m pretty sure he did.” Kaeya had said. 

Diluc sat quietly, yet his mind was louder than ever. Because if Father knew, then that just made Diluc’s reaction all those years ago even worse. Maybe he’s lying? 

But a voice within Diluc knew that Kaeya wouldn’t lie, especially about something like this. And this meant that Diluc was indeed cruel. Because if Father had known the truth and been so kind, then why, why was Diluc so cruel? 

Yet, perhaps he did have some reasons but that didn’t make things right. And Diluc felt the way his emotions would swirl and patter endlessly. He couldn’t deal with this. Not right now. Maybe not ever. 

“Do you want anything?” Diluc spoke with a hoarse voice. And when he saw the mischievous glint in Kaeya’s eye he quickly added before Kaeya could say anything “Anything that’s not alcohol.” 

“Perhaps a meal from Good Hunter,”  Kaeya had started, and seemed relieved at the change of conversation.

“Alright, I’ll get you something,” Diluc spoke as he walked away, then he looked back. “Adelinde is planning on making some soup later today so don’t try running away,” Diluc joked  (or at least attempted to). 

Yet judging by Kaeya’s reaction he wasn’t sure it was a good joke. Could he even try to joke around? Would one day things go back to how they had been? No, they wouldn’t. 

Kaeya POV 

“Adelinde is planning on making some soup later today so don’t try running away,”  Diluc had said.

Adelinde?   And that’s when Kaeya’s realized. Because the smell, the surroundings, was it not a trick of his ill mind. Wait. Was he really? No, he couldn’t say it. But he had oh-so desperately wanted to think, was he home ? No. He didn’t have a home. Not  anymore. This wasn’t his place, this wasn’t his home and Diluc was doing everything out of some sense of pity and obligation. It was just payback. 

But everything felt so familiar, because their home was gone long ago, yet this place, just the sheer scent and little things felt like comfort. So that’s why that memory had lingered in his mind. That’s why that memory had come back to life. Because no matter how much Kaeya tried to throw that memory away, it was still there and maybe that meant that Kaeya’s home was still here? 

Maybe he only thought like this because he felt sick. He felt alone and he felt tired. But maybe just maybe he just felt the comfort that he had missed. The way that little things would turn into a comfort that he hadn’t realized how much he missed. 

And as he looked around, really looked around, he realized that he was at Dawn Winery. The place that carried so much of his past. 

A knock at the door brought Kaeya out of his mind. Was Diluc already back so soon? But there, at the door was Adelinde.

“Good morning Master Kaeya, I’m glad that you are doing better” she spoke, and Kaeya couldn’t help but flinch.

“Please, just call me Kaeya,” he said, his voice feeling like it wasn’t his own. Adelinde simply looked at him with a sense of nostalgia at him as she put a cup of water on the drawer next to him.

“I know that Master Diluc will never say this, but he truly does miss you,” she spoke. “We all do,” Adelinde later added. 

“I missed this too.” He missed everything.  

“I know that I can’t speak on what happened and nor do I know what happened, but I truly hope that one day you two shall be brothers again.” She added as she left.

Kaeya felt himself drift to sleep once again. 

Diluc POV 

Sara had told him that there was a longer wait than usual to get his food from Angel’s Share. Of course, that made sense given the fact that Angel’s Share hadn’t really opened yet. And for some reason, Diluc found himself walking towards the bridge where the pigeons were, he watched as they slowly shuffled seemingly debating whether to wait for breakfast or to fly away.  They mainly flew away, but some stayed. 

And as he looked towards the rising Sun, he felt some peace. 

“Never forget that the dawn will one day come,” Diluc spoke to himself, if not trying to convince himself of that. And for some reason the words felt stronger than they had before. Because one day maybe he and Kaeya would go back to how things were. 

“But what if that never happens,” a voice said behind him. Diluc looked around to see Timmie, who had just arrived holding a loaf of bread.

And for some reason, that hurt . To think that dawn would never arrive, to think that the very thing that helped him move forward was not going to happen. But the Sun would rise every day. And Diluc hated to admit it, but he felt a small wave of anger rush through him. But just as easily as the hurt and anger had rippled within, it slowly left. 

“Pardon?” Diluc spoke. 

“I’m just saying,” Timmie said as he began throwing pieces of bread and as the pigeon flock returned to its former glory, ”What if dawn never comes and then you just keep waiting?” 

And at that Diluc stopped to think. Was this something he was doing? Was he missing his chances for “redemption” because he was waiting for a better day or because he was scared. It wasn’t an or. Diluc was scared.

He was waiting for dawn. A day that things would return to how they had once been. But what about the storms, the darkness between.  A dawn that might never happen if Diluc simply tried to hide. But maybe that wasn’t the point. Because dawn would happen some day. Just as the Sun would rise everyday. It would just have to happen. 

“No matter, I just have to keep moving forward. Dawn will one day come,” he repeated, perhaps to himself.  

Timmie simply nodded, “How?” 

And for that he didn’t know. The sun would rise on its own. And then he spoke, with some wisdom that even Father would have been proud of: “For dawn to come, there must be those who dare to pierce the darkness with their light.” 

And that’s when Diluc realized after he had spoken. He had to change the present. He had to get a future that was only possible by piercing the darkness now. He had learned so clearly that he couldn’t just wait. He had to piece the darkness, he had to dare. He had to look into the empty void and try. He could not just wait for a dawn that might happen, might not happen. He had to take a chance . He had to take the chance to be the one to pierce the darkness. He had to dare. 

“And then what?” Timmie asked, unaware of the character development Diluc was going through. Diluc looked at Timmie, once again confused. 

“What happens after dawn? Because won’t it be night time again? Also, isn’t it always dawn on the other side of Teyvat? Or what if, what if it’s raining and the clouds are blocking the Sun so you think it’s not dawn when it actually is.” 

Diluc didn’t know how to reply to that. But he did know that things had to change. Because he had to change, if he wanted that chance. Because part of Diluc disagreed, because dawn was splendid. Dawn meant hope and happiness. 

And Diluc knew that he had to do something . Because Diluc had to create a world where it was dawn (whatever that was), no matter where the Sun was and what was happening. He had to pierce through the darkness. 

Diluc’s own advice rang within his mind: Have you ever tried talking to her about this?  Diluc needed to talk to Kaeya. 

Kaeya POV 

Being at a place that was once his home was strange. Because at one point it was so comforting but at the other, it reminded Kaeya so much of what he had lost. Because Kaeya had a voice telling him that this was Diluc’s pity, a simple payback for saving Diluc’s life back in Dragonspine. And that voice was so loud within his mind. 

He didn’t want to lose this. And he hated how desperate he was to just keep this semblance of a home. He felt pathetic. But could he really blame himself? After all he had gone through, that boy that had desperately wanted a home was still there. And he was allowed to feel like that. 

Kaeya’s (rather wise, if he does say so himself) advice shifted within his mind. It’s just that, without words, sometimes our actions get lost or perhaps misinterpreted.

Kaeya knew that he needed to talk to Diluc. 

But as Diluc walked through the door with the food from Angel’s Share, Kaeya realized that he was scared. He was scared to lose whatever this was. Maybe Kaeya had to be happy with whatever this was. And Kaeya was so scared. So scared that Diluc’s eyes that were now filled with some sort of pity would be replaced with those cold eyes that would glare at him in Angel’s Share. 

And Kaeya was at a loss for words. The two brothers ate their food in silence. 

“Y’know, I’m surprised you still remember my order, ” Kaeya had said.

“I could never forget,” Diluc spoke with a slight laugh and Kaeya wasn’t sure if he saw correctly, but it seemed as though Diluc seemed a little offended at the fact that Kaeya was surprised. 

“I hope the knights haven’t missed me too much,” Kaeya said with a sigh. He wasn’t really sure what to say. Should he apologize for the things he had said in the past? 

Oh, how he wished things could go back to how they had once been. When the conversations had been endless. 

Kaeya felt the wave of sadness linger once again. Ah, at times like these he really just didn’t feel like talking. Because he’d think of how different the conversation would have been if things had just been different. If things had been like old times.

“It’s strange,” Kaeya started, “Being back here.” It sounded more awkward than he wanted it to be, but he didn’t know what else to say. 

Diluc replied with a slight chuckle, “Barbara wanted someone to make sure you didn’t try running off again.” 

Kaeya yawned and he hated how part of the yawn was fake - exaggerated. Because this sadness was worse than he was expecting and he sort of wanted to be alone right now.

Diluc, who had obviously noticed spoke,  “I’ll let you rest,” 

“Thank you, Diluc.” Kaeya spoke as he watched Diluc leave. For some reason, Kaeya felt like he had made a mistake. 

Surprisingly, Kaeya had actually fallen asleep. When he woke up it was a little later in the day. And part of Kaeya’s mind just wanted to go back to work. Maybe even get some paperwork to do here just so he didn’t need to think about how lonely it felt to be in a place that had once been his source of comfort but was now only memories. Now only hints of what had once been. 

Kaeya walked quietly, exploring what had once been so much, and still was . 

As he walked he saw remnants of memories. 

“You’re awake.” A voice spoke and Kaeya turned around to see Diluc. 

“Ah, yes.” Kaeya spoke, “Thought I’d explore. I haven’t been here for a while.” 

“Oh, right.” Diluc had said, and Kaeya knew that Diluc wanted to say something more, but Kaeya quickly interjected. Because he felt as though his presence was welcomed here, he felt like he didn’t deserve to be here. Even though he knew that those voices were just lying, he still couldn’t help but think that. Maybe he wanted to say something before Diluc could. 

“Anyways, I’ll be going for a walk. Need to get some fresh air.” Kaeya spoke. 

“It’s going to start raining soon.” Diluc spoke. 

“Cyro always works better in the rain,” Kaeya joked reassuringly, and noticed the way Diluc slightly flinched. Oops. He probably shouldn’t have said that. 

“Mind if I join you?” Diluc asked after a pause. 

“Be my guest.” Kaeya replied. 

As Kaeya walked out of Dawn Winery, he looked back one last time, trying to memorize every single thing in case he wasn’t ever welcomed back. 

They walked outside, and everything seemed to be getting ready to close. Storm clouds in the distance had given an early warning sign to the shops. Even Timmie had left early, Kaeya realized as he looked towards the bridge from a distance. 

Slowly, the two brothers walked towards the bridge, all in silence. Kaeya just wishes things could restart. What conversations would they have been having if things weren’t like this. What jokes would have been said, what memories would have been made? 

As they stepped on the bridge, Kaeya continued to walk. 

Wait, Kaeya had an idea. Maybe there was a way for things to go back to how they were. Perhaps Diluc would have thought it was pathetic, but he just needed to try. For his own sake. 

Diluc POV 

They walked in silence. 

“Well then,” Kaeya bemused as he stopped walking and held his hand out to catch the raindrops. It was slightly raining. A few drops here and there. Yet, the absence of pigeons on the bridge and the dark clouds told Diluc that there was a storm on the way. 

Diluc raised an eyebrow, rather confused by his (former) brother’s antics. But for some reason, he knew that this was his chance. 

“Let’s start again, shall we? The name’s Kaeya, Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius and member of the Mondstadt Pigeon Lovers Association, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance,” Kaeya said formally with a glint of humor and then stuck out his hand. Kaeya smiled, and it was that smile. The smile that meant his brother was trying to force the pain to go away. No mention of either the Ragnvindr or Alberich told Diluc all he needed to know. No. Because no matter how desperately Diluc wanted to start over more than anything else, he couldn't. He shouldn’t. 

Kaeya didn’t deserve it at all. Kaeya didn’t deserve to throw away his pain and pretend that everything was okay- he’d already spent his entire lifetime doing it. He couldn’t. 

No. Because there shouldn’t be any more masks between them. No more pretending that things were okay when they weren’t. 

Diluc had paused for a minute too long, and Kaeya spoke, feigning annoyance, “Uh, Lu-” he cleared his throat, “Strange yet respectable traveler, it is great to meet you,” Then Kaeya gestured to his outstretched hand once again. Thunder crackled solemnly and Diluc saw the peak of sunlight- the crest of dawn. No. Because if Diluc truly wanted to make things better he’d have to walk through the rain. Through the storms. With Kaeya. So, Diluc looked at him, and shook his head with a small but sad smile. 

He reached out to grab Kaeya’s outstretched hand and paused.

Because he couldn’t forget. Because they couldn’t forget.  And, if not most importantly, Kaeya shouldn’t have to forget. Because they couldn’t start over, not after everything that they had been through. 

And so after a pause, he pulled his baby brother into a hug. 

Kaeya froze for a split-second before choking back a sob. 

“I don’t want to forget. And you shouldn’t have to, ” Diluc whispered into blue hair, the last part almost inaudible, but he knew, by the way Kaeya had flinched ever so slightly before his entire body relaxed into the hug and he quietly sniffled, that Kaeya had heard him. 

Diluc hugged Kaeya tighter, a gloved hand ruffling through his little brother’s hair. “I’m here, Kae. ” And perhaps that was the breaking point for Kaeya, who was now full on sobbing, and Diluc was too.

And so, the two brothers cried, their tears mixing with the rain. Diluc finally had his brother, his family , and he was never letting go. 

Chapter Text

Kaeya POV 

It had been a while. Not a very long while. But just a little while. 

Kaeya was back to doing his favorite thing in the world, paperwork. Ah, how fun. 

Jean, much to Kaeya’s dismay, had not let Kaeya go back to going on missions.

It simply had just been a little while. Kaeya felt better, stronger but despite everything, he still felt a little empty. 

He had stayed at the winery for a little while. Adelinde of course had been very upset at the two of them for staying out in the rain, and it was like old times. Except the truth was, that it wasn’t. Because those days ended quickly and Kaeya was sick for almost all of them. 

Diluc had insisted that Kaeya stay, but for some reason, Kaeya had felt the need to leave. 

Kaeya wished that things would have been better. That it would be just like old times and they’d talk endlessly and joke endlessly and that the world would have been as it once was. That life would just somehow reverse back to when Father was alive, and he and Diluc would go back to being able to read each other’s minds and laugh and joke and just simply be brothers again.

But that didn’t happen.  

Even though they had agreed to not forget the past, there was nothing really happening in the present to address anything. 

Kaeya felt like a stranger. He hated it. And he hated how he knew that Diluc was trying his best. And he hated how he felt a sick sense of relief when Diluc wasn’t at the tavern. He hated it, and most importantly, he hated himself for being so grateful to avoid his brother. The brother who was actually trying . 

Because they were on eggshells around each other. No, It was like Diluc trying to walk on ice, knowing that his feet would melt the ice into water. 

Because Diluc was a Pyro user, and Kaeya had been “gifted” a Cyro Vision. 

Fire would melt ice, and ice would turn into water and put out the fire. 

And all that was left? 

Nothing . Nothing at all.

Perhaps this was the Archon's way of sealing their fates. That there was nothing that could be done. That nothing was left of their family. It was a tough thought to think about, and an even harder fact to accept. 

There was nothing left of their family. Was there? No, Kaeya couldn’t be so helpless in his own mind. 

And Kaeya really did try to count his blessings.

And Kaeya knew that he should be happy, that those crimson eyes did not glare like they used to. But still, things were not the same. 

Kaeya knew that Diluc was really trying, but at the same time, Kaeya couldn’t stop the voice from nagging in the back of his mind. 

Because Diluc hadn’t apologized yet, had he? 

And Kaeya knew that it did not matter, because Kaeya knew that Diluc really did care about him. Kaeya knew that looking for an apology (especially one from Diluc, at that) was not something he should even expect. Even as children, it had been a mumbled phrase - as though Diluc had been forced to apologize (and usually it was, with Father glaring at young Diluc). Back to the present, truth be told, Kaeya had forgiven Diluc ages ago, actually he wasn’t even sure if he was ever really mad at Diluc in the first place. 

Yet there was a piece missing within Kaeya’s heart that longed so dearly for when he and his brother were like twins, when it was them versus the world. And maybe an apology would help them. 

And, part of Kaeya knew that things would never be the same. 

Ah, how Kaeya really did love paperwork. So much so, that he had decided to take a break, one could not be too happy, could they? 

Kaeya, during his random mid-day, totally not avoiding paperwork (and therefore his thoughts) walk had somehow ended up back at the bridge. Timmie wasn’t here, and Kaeya remembered that there had been a sort of meeting today amongst the Mondstadt Pigeons Lover Association. Kaeya had been kicked out. Or well not really. Rather, he had been put on sick leave as the pigeons thought that Kaeya needed to heal.

And so, Kaeya stood alone at the bridge. There were no pigeons. Which made sense, because there was no bread. Oh, maybe Kaeya could buy them something. He had nothing better to do. 

As Kaeya walked towards Good Hunter, he saw Jean and Barbara sitting and talking. 

“Oh, hello Sir Kaeya,” Barbara spoke, “Are you feeling better?” 

“Yes, I am,” Kaeya replied with his signature grin, “Thank you once again Barbara, and I am really sorry about the pigeons in the Cathedral. I do hope that they are all gone by now.” 

Barbara simply nodded. And as Kaeya turned towards Jean, he saw a look of worry in her eyes, “Would you care to join us for lunch?” Jean spoke, a little too quickly. 

Kaeya hated how pathetic he must have looked for Jean to have to say that. How lonely he was. But he couldn’t do that to them, he couldn’t intrude. Because even though he had told Jean how things were so much better, Jean could tell. 

“Ah, no worries. I’ve already eaten. Just wanted to get out of the office and get some bread for Timmie.” Kaeya spoke with a (rather forced) smile. And Jean clearly didn’t believe him, but Kaeya was pretty sure she had read his mind. 

“Okay then, we’ll see you around, Kaeya,” Jean had said with a very slight frown. 

“Don’t overwork yourself Sir Kaeya,” Barbara added with a wave. 

“Did you hear that, Acting Grand Master Jean?” Kaeya said with a laugh as he walked towards the store.  

And Kaeya watched as the two sisters went back to their conversation, as if nothing had happened. 

At least one pair of siblings could actually communicate and were making some progress.  

When Kaeya returned to the bridge once more, he knew that Timmie would not be there. But what he wasn’t expecting was that there were some pigeons there. 

A glimmer of hope rained within Kaeya, and he threw a piece of bread. He watched as the pigeons ignored it. Choosing to peck at rocks and gravel instead. 

Gravel and rocks. 

Kaeya didn’t know what overtook him, but in a matter of seconds  he threw the entire loaf into the river below. He watched as the ducks ignored it. The bread slowly sank into the water. It was fish food now, maybe. But, if the fish were anything like the pigeons or ducks, then Kaeya could safely assume that the bread would sit at the bottom of the river for eons. Perhaps it would be a relic one day? Perhaps Celestia would laugh and use it as a warning for any traitors that dare to step into Mondstadt. 

Kaeya looked at his reflection in the water below. Time passed and Kaeya felt like a fool. 

Diluc POV 

Diluc knew that he should really talk to Kaeya. But he simply did not know what to say. Or rather, he was scared that he’d say something wrong and hurt Kaeya all over again. And then they’d be back to where they once were. If not worse. 

At least now, there was something. And Diluc could not ruin this. 

Things were different now. They were different now. 

And maybe this stranger sort of comradery was all Diluc could have. All that he deserved. Because Diluc knew that he couldn’t lose Kaeya again, but Diluc also knew that he would hurt Kaeya again. 

And so each time Diluc saw Kaeya, he had a million things he wanted to say, but he could not speak them.  And so, their conversations weren’t the same. The answers were short and curt and one word. 

And besides the fact of Kaeya trying to use their newfound (or reestablished) friendship as a way to get more wine, there was nothing else that was really better. 

Angel’s Share was empty, and that was normal during the day. Diluc actually liked it, he liked having the silence and the time to think.

But of course, the bell rang a few seconds later and Diluc turned around to see who it was. Part of him was hoping it was Kaeya, the other part of him was dreading it.

To his surprise, it was Jean. 

“Acting Grand Master Jean,” Diluc spoke, trying to hide his shock. 

“Master Diluc,” Jean spoke. 

The silence was awkward but it was not the anger filled silence that once had been. 

“How have things been at Angel’s Share,” Jean started.

“They’ve been alright.” Diluc spoke. 

Jean and him hadn’t really talked since their whole fight that had happened, where Diluc got what he deserved (and hit by a bunch of dandelions). 

“Barbara told me what you said,” Jean started. 

Diluc thought back to the conversation he had. 

“Everything. Your feelings are important too and maybe talking could help.” Diluc had said. 

“I just don’t want to burden her.” Barbara had said  softly, “I know she’s trying her best.” 

“But what about you?” Diluc had stated. 

Maybe Diluc had said something wrong. 

“Oh, I-” But before he could explain, Jean put a hand on his shoulder. 

“Thank you,” Jean spoke, she continued, "Barbara told me about the conversation you two had." Her voice was quiet. 

And Diluc was at a loss for words. Maybe he didn’t really mess up all the time then, huh. 

“Also,” Jean started, “For how I behaved back then, it’s just what you said about Kaeya-” 

Ah. Diluc's memories came fluttering back. Jean had just been trying to help, as she always did. The day she had marched into the tavern.  And Diluc, being his pathetic self, had said some really cruel things about Kaeya. That was perhaps the last time they had properly spoken since Diluc had returned. It felt like ages ago, yet at the same time, it felt like not much time had passed. 

“No,” Diluc spoke raising his hand before any apology, “I deserved it.” 

“No, I uh-,” Jean started. 

“Perhaps you could reimburse me for the cleaning. It’s been months and I’m still finding dandelion seeds on the floor.” Diluc added. And Jean stared at him with a raised eyebrow, as if she couldn’t comprehend Diluc making a joke. 

And then, Diluc let out a small laugh. And that's when he realized what he needed to say: 

“But in all seriousness, I-um, apologize for what I said, I shouldn’t have said that about Sir Kaeya.” 

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing to,” Jean spoke. 

“I know,” Diluc said in a mere whisper. 

“Have you and Kaeya talked with each other? I’ve heard some things.” 

“Yes, it’s been going uh- alright.” 

The bell rang again, and a knight, who seemed a little stressed walked towards Jean.

“Ah, ” Jean spoke with a small smile and an apologetic glance. 

“I’ll see you around, Acting Grand Master Jean,” Diluc added before she could say anything. 

“Call me Jean, Diluc.” Jean said with a small smile as she left, the bell ringing once again. 

Diluc stared at the door, and couldn’t hide a soft smile. Maybe things were getting better. No things were better. 

Diluc hoped that Kaeya would visit the tavern today.  

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya didn’t know how long he had been staring at his reflection, but that’s all he could do. He wanted to run away, but he knew he wouldn’t and couldn't.  Stare at the spot where the loaf of bread, now a relic, had sank. And all he could see was a fool who really thought things would be better. And the thing was, things were actually better. Diluc didn’t hate him anymore. 

But why, why was Kaeya still feeling so bad, so sad, so empty? 

“Brother Kaeya!” A voice said and Kaeya turned around to see Timmie with a loaf of bread. 

“Timmie!” Kaeya said with a smile. A genuine smile. 

“How was the meeting? I still can’t believe you kicked me out, after all that I did.” Kaeya added with mock hurt. 

“We didn’t kick you out! The pigeons said you needed to rest.” 

And before Kaeya could stop himself, he scoffed and mumbled, “I doubt the pigeons care for me that much.”

“Hm?” Timmie asked, now throwing bread and watching as the pigeons began to huddle around him. 

“Ah, it’s nothing.” Kaeya quickly spoke. He knew that Timmie would be heartbroken to find out if the pigeons hated him. 

“Are you and Mister Diluc brothers again?” Timmie suddenly asked. This was likely the work of Adelinde who may or may not have cried tears of joy and told the others from the winery who may have told the others who told the rest. Who could blame her though? 

“Kind of?” Kaeya said, even though he knew the answer, he couldn’t hide the confusion within his voice.

“Did Mister Diluc say sorry for being mean to you?” Timmie asked.

“Oh no,” Kaeya spoke, “Not yet.” I don’t think he ever will, Kaeya did not say. 

“Oh, have you said sorry?” Timmie asked.

“Yup,” Kaeya replied immediately, “I don’t think Diluc is ever going to apologize.” 

“No, I mean have you apologized to yourself.” Timmie started. 

“What?” Kaeya asked, his voice light. 

Kaeya would forgive himself? 

Ah, right back to the pigeons. 

“I can’t believe the pigeons hate me so much that they kicked me out of the club,” Kaeya spoke, changing topics.

“The pigeons don’t hate you!” 

“I think they do,” Kaeya started exaggerating, “Why else would they kick me out of the meeting.” 

“Maybe cause you need to rest!” Timmie said and Kaeya felt guilt weighing down on him as he saw tears daring to fall out of Timmie’s eyes.

“Ah, I suppose you are right. I don’t know what they’re thinking. I'm not a pigeon whisperer, am I?” 

“I think the pigeons like you! Otherwise they would be scared of you! Even though the pigeons can’t use words, they don’t run away. Their actions show what they can’t say.” 

“Hm,” Kaeya thought. And he felt a pang of hurt run through him, as he thought about how cruel the world had been. Because the pigeon's actions had shown that they hated him. They refused to eat the bread that he threw. 

And maybe it would have hurt more, if it weren’t for the fact that Kaeya was thinking about Diluc. Diluc's actions, on that fateful day, did not need any words to be described. 

Because Diluc’s words were often cruel. His actions from the past were horrid. His words were cruel, so were his actions at times. 

“My mom says that as long as you love the world, animals won’t be scared of you!” 

And Kaeya thought back to that conversation, all those ages ago. He had wanted the world to fear him. Just as he feared the world. Feared the truth. Feared Diluc telling the truth. Feared losing everything. 

But the truth was back then, as it was now, that he just wanted to be understood . He wanted Celestia to look at a traitor and do the unthinkable, show some sympathy. Maybe take some notes from Jean? 

And Kaeya wanted to argue because he loved the world, he truly did. He would do anything for his family. For his friends. For the knights. For Mondstadt. 

Because Kaeya loved Mond. He loved the world and it didn’t love it back. 

But if he truly did love the world, then why didn’t the world love him back? Why did the pigeons run away? How the pigeons refused to eat the bread he threw, settling for the fine delicacy of rocks and mud and gravel instead. 

“And besides, it doesn’t matter if the pigeons don’t like you! As long as you love yourself!” Timmie added as though he had read Kaeya’s mind.

Oh. Kaeya thought. Loving himself? For Kaeya could love (no he loved)  the world that hated him, despised him, and called him a traitor. And so, why not love himself? Perhaps that was what loving the world was? 

And as Timmie left, many things from the conversation remained in his mind. And as he stared at his reflection, all he thought about was their conversation. 

No, I mean have you apologized to yourself.

Kaeya laughed soullessly at that. Apologize to himself for what? For being a traitor? For choosing the worst day to tell his brother the truth. Knowingly choosing the worst day because he knew what would happen? For wanting it to happen. For feeling a sick sense of dreadful relief.  For being a fool. For being hurt? It was okay that Kaeya was scared that he was hurt and sad. It was okay that Kaeya felt the weight of the world leave for just a second to then come back even stronger. 

For searching for comfort? For wanting to be understood? It’s okay. 

And Kaeya looked at his reflection in the water. Kaeya looked at the traitor staring back at him. The scared child that wanted a home. He stared at a captain shrouded by the Sun’s shadow. He saw someone who had proved himself time after time again.  Kaeya looked at his reflection and saw a person hated by pigeons. A person that wanted to be accepted by stupid birds.  A person that had made it through everything so far. Someone that was scared of losing everything. Someone that had lost everything.  Someone that looked fear in the eye. The person who thought that Diluc controlled the Sun. The same person who watched the Sun set for what he thought was the final time.  Kaeya saw a brother. Kaeya saw someone who wanted to be understood. 

 Kaeya saw a fool. He felt like a fool. He was a foolish fool. 

And for the first time, that was okay. 

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

Diluc felt something. He felt a flickering flame within his chest and the tips of his fingers felt as though they were burning. Things are better now. And how long would it last? How long until Diluc would go ahead and say something and mess things up? How long until they would go back to hating each other?  No, no. Diluc shook his head with a tight smile as he cleaned the wine glass. The glass was shining by now, looking almost brand new. 

Things are better now. Jean had forgiven him, and he had fixed things with Kaeya, and he was going to apologize and everything would be okay. They just had to be. 

Yet, Diluc couldn’t shake off the feeling of fear that had engulfed him. The anticipation that Diluc knew he would mess things up and he’d be alone again . He knew that it would happen. The waters were still for now. The ice above frozen, the flame stable. But there were cracks underneath the ice. The flame wouldn’t shine forever. Diluc could ruin a perfectly good thing with just his mind. 

No, no. Things were okay, and Diluc was fine. Kaeya was fine. Jean was fine. Everything was okay, Diluc’s fingers burned and he felt his entire arm quiver ever so slightly. 

The tavern would be opening soon, and Diluc hated the way his eyes would wander to the door, both dreading and hoping that his brother would show up. 

Kaeya hadn’t shown up to the tavern the other day. And that other day had been days ago. But Kaeya had been busy. Really busy. Mondstadt could never let him rest and now Kaeya was in meetings all the time. Right. 

Diluc was scared. Oh so scared.

Kaeya POV 

Kaeya felt something. Kaeya walked with a new found purpose. A new found sense of peace and a new found lightness. His mind raced, but it was not racing out of control. He felt a wave of calmness surrounding him. A sense of serenity that had washed over him, and stayed. The pain was still there, but it didn’t hurt. It didn’t burn. Instead, the pain stood still, and smiled and made a little campsite (or perhaps a tavern) in his mind but that’s all it did. The pain that Kaeya had once thought had burrowed and ravaged his mind had stayed, but it didn’t control him anymore. It didn’t seep into other parts of his brain, it didn’t gnaw at the ropes and chains. Instead, the pain took a little spot and stayed there. He didn’t feel consumed. He felt free. 

Of course, saying that he didn’t feel any pain was a lie. And Kaeya was done lying. To those around him, and most importantly himself. 

And so it was a lie to say that the pain was not controlling him at all. Because as Kaeya walked past the tavern, head held low. Not wanting to see the glimpse of red hair. Kaeya knew that he was perhaps ruining this, sabotaging this. He was scared. Oh so scared. And that was okay. 

Instead, Kaeya found himself drawn back to the bird house. The two little birds that were reminders of himself and his brother. Kaeya could tell that the Diluc bird was always yearning to fly to wander and explore. Yet, the little bird that reminded Kaeya of himself had not done much other than go outside to flare and peck at its wings in the Sun. It made no attempt to fly. At this point Kaeya had assumed it was just basking in the Sun, cleaning its wings as though it was a hot shower. Kaeya did not blame the little bird. 

Timmie and the rest of the Mondstadt Pigeon Lovers Association had begun to grow concerned. “The bird can’t live in the birdhouse forever.”  But it could. Kaeya's mind had whispered.

Kaeya did not say anything. 

And then one day, the Diluc bird stopped coming back. The Mondstadt Pigeon Lovers Association had an emergency meeting after the second day had passed. Thankfully, they had found the bird, who had moved from the once humble birdhouse to a nest high above in the trees. It was a fancy nest, seemingly made with the best twigs and whatever nests were made of. And, in Diuc-fashion, a shiny piece of mora. Kaeya hated the fact that he had wondered if he could freeze the nest, forcing the two birds to be reunited once again. 

Of course, the Kaeya bird was not completely abandoned. The Diluc bird did visit as reported by the Mondstadt Pigeon Lover Association. Yet, Kaeya found himself more and more drawn towards the now more empty birdhouse. Kaeya could not speak to birds, but if he could, he would have told the little bird that he, Kaeya, would never abandon him. The knights would sometimes catch him, ask him why he’d spend his breaks staring at the trees rather than in the tavern. Jean had even been concerned at one point, her eyes in some sort of pity and confusion. Because he and Diluc were okay now. They were brothers, right? So why was he avoiding him? 

 Kaeya would just laugh it off. Just trying to keep enough dandelion wine for the rest of Mondstadt. 

Perhaps it was fate that Kaeya would find himself staring at the birdhouse. Because one day, and that had been earlier today, the bird looked outside with a sort of vigor. And Kaeya’s heart raced. Please. Please Celestia. Please, he begged the Archons.

The bird fell, and Kaeya raced, catching the little bird just in time in his palm. 

The Mondstadt Pigeon Lovers Association had been quickly notified and now, here they were. 

“It appears the bird is missing its flight feathers. Interesting.” Albedo had said more so to himself. 

Klee and the rest of the Mondstadt Pigeons Lovers Association stared at him.

“Brother Albedo, will the little bird be okay?” Klee asked with wide eyes. Timmie and Bennett were listening intensely. 

“Yes, he should be fine. I think it might be best to keep him indoors and monitor him for a few more days though.” 

Kaeya let out a sigh of relief that he didn’t know he was holding. 

Ah, he should get back to work. 

“I’ll be off now,” Kaeya said as he walked towards the door. He didn’t realize how strongly he was clutching his Vision until he had let it go to push open the door. 

Kaeya’s mind had slowly turned into his work. Flipping through the paperwork mindlessly, finishing his tasks and whatever he had to do. He was glad about it, because as he felt the paper within his fingertips, the slight scratch and smooth surface, his mind wouldn’t twist and turn. Because, the fact was that Kaeya wanted to look at his Vision. His Vision felt cold to the touch, but there was always warmth to it. Yet, now, when he lightly grasped the Vision in his hand, it felt cold. 

Soon, the day had come to an end, and Kaeya found himself back at the trees. The bird that reminded Kaeya oh so much of his brother sat there, seemingly worried yet had somehow understood what had happened. 

Kaeya stared at the now empty birdhouse. He held out the Vision in the air in an outstretched arm. It glistened in the setting Sun. It was one of the first things he had noticed. He had spent his childhood staring at Diluc’s Pyro vision. It had three wings on either side, and glistened with a strength that could not be put into words. Kaeya’s Vision had two wings on either side. It was missing a set of wings, and Kaeya had tried not to pay it any mind. But it had bore a hole in the back of his mind. It was something he didn’t like to think about. He had assumed that it was the price of being a traitor. That Celestia would never really accept him. That Mondstadt would never be is home. 

Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor.

But now, he felt trapped. Was it to his fate? Was it to Mondstadt? Because could Kaeya ever fly away from the destiny that was meant for him? Or was he too, like the little bird, destined to fall? Because Kaeya felt like he couldn’t run. Could he run from his fate, his purpose? Or could he run from Mondstadt. Or was his Vision a sign that he couldn’t fly away from his fate. That he had no control over what he could do. Or was it a sign that he was grounded to Mondstadt. He didn’t want to have to make a decision. There was a part of him that just wanted fate or something to decide his future. If only he could flip a coin. Or, at this point he’d ask a pigeon (if they could talk). 

Kaeya held his Vision in his shaking hand. He couldn’t stand to look at it anymore.

 Also, his arm was hurting. 

 His arm moved back to his side, the Vision still cool to the touch. 

Kaeya watched silently. His Vision slowly slipped from his hand. And, as if on cue, the birdhouse fell to the ground with a soft thud. No one would be living in that. 

Kaeya felt a lump in his throat. He wanted to cry. He wanted to laugh.  He picked up his Vision from the ground and slipped it away.  Because it was twisted and cruel. He walked towards the birdhouse. Picking up the splinters and shambles of what had once been a home, he knew what he had to do. 

“Brother Kaeya!” A voice had said as Kaeya stepped onto the bridge. Kaeya looked to see Timmie holding a loaf of bread. Right, it was dinner time for the birds. 

“Oh no!” Timmie said in a shocked voice staring at the broken birdhouse in Kaeya’s hand. 

“What do we do?” 

Kaeya did not know how to build birdhouses, much less how to fix them. But he knew someone that did. He smiled a wavering smile. A weak smile. A scared smile. A brave smile. 

Diluc POV 

Diluc had spent his day as he had spent other days. The tavern had just opened and there seemed to be a sort of joy in the air.  Knights had clattered slowly but surely. Bringing life to the once empty tavern. Despite the tavern around him being loud, it was missing something. Or specifically someone. And so, to Diluc, the tavern felt silent. 

It felt oddly strange to be so hopeful. Yet, as Diluc intently watched the tavern door open and close, he felt the glimmer of hope dim ever so slightly. The Sun had just begun to set, there is still more time. There was still a chance that his brother would show up, in typical Kaeya fashion, demanding a drink and bothering Diluc. Yet, as the drinks were served and tables were filled, he did not show up. It was strange how his best customer (Kaeya’s words, not his), who once seemed to have camped right outside the tavern door, had not shown up. And, it was more strange that Diluc was not dreadful. He was scared, yes. Of course. He was scared of messing up after things had just gone well. Yet, there was a sort of calm that Diluc only noticed now. A little voice saying that things would be alright.

As if on cue, the tavern door opened, and in walked Kaeya (who was holding a bunch of wooden scraps) and Timmie.

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

They worked in silence. Kaeya and Timmie had told him all about what was happening with the two birds, and their quest to build a birdhouse. Of course, while Diluc was a little better at building birdhouses now, he was also just a little better at being a brother again too. 

Of course, while it had started with the three of them, Timmie was now preoccupied with conversations with Diluc’s pet bird. From stories about the pigeons to trying to recruit a new member (the bird) to Timmie's bird lover club or whatever it was called. Diluc could not hide his smile. 

“They’re not so scary after all,” Timmie spoke with a smile as he patted the bird’s head. 

“Indeed,” Kaeya replied seemingly amused. 

Things were really awkward between him and Kaeya, but they needed to talk. Diluc needed to say sorry. But Diluc was scared .  And perhaps admitting it was something that Diluc never thought he could do, but here he was with his inner mind scared of being alone again. 

They worked in silence. With Kaeya and Diluc building the birdhouse while Timmie continued having conversations with the bird. And maybe that was the best that Diluc would ever get. But he had made up his mind. He was going to apologize. And it was tough, because the younger Diluc rarely ever apologized, and even if he did, it was done with him staring at his feet, mumbling an apology while looking abashed. Being a Ragnvindr had its perks, and a proper apology was not one of them. 

Diluc would apologize - right after they finished the birdhouse. 

Diluc didn’t even know what he was going to say, he had planned it out in his mind, but the words just didn’t seem right. He wasn’t even sure what to say or if Kaeya would even forgive him. Time was going by way too quickly and slowly at the same time. 

“The birdhouse is finished!” Timmie cheered as Kaeya finished up adding a rug, bed, table and a little wine glass. 

Diluc scoffed, “Y’know the bird is not even going to use all of that.” 

“Who knows,” Kaeya replied with a smirk. 

“Oh, Grace is here!” Timmie said, roughly picking up the birdhouse and running towards the door. Kaeya simply chucked.

“Bye Brother Kaeya,” Timmie said, running to hold Grace’s hand. 

Then he turned around, “Bye Brother Diluc!” 

And at that, Diluc’s eyes widened in shock, his breath hitched and he felt a tinge of warmth. Oh, wait, would Kaeya be mad? Last time Kaeya had been rather upset the last time, but it had worked out. Diluc looked at Kaeya from the corner of his eyes, and to his surprise Kaeya was smiling with a glimmer of humor in his eye. And that was all Diluc knew that he needed, he would apologize. 

“Well then, I’m off,” Kaeya said, moving towards the door.

“Wait!” Diluc said, realizing how much his voice was laced with fear. 

Kaeya looked at him, a little confused. 

“We have a little bit of scrap wood left, would you like to make another birdhouse. In case the other bird returns?” Ah, so silly Diluc scolded himself. 

Kaeya chuckled, “Spoken like a true member of the Monstadt Pigeon Lover's Association.” 

Were the birds in the trees even considered pigeons? Diluc did not ask. 

They worked in silence. Diluc was working on the roof while Kaeya worked on the walls. It was awkward and silent other than Kaeya asking for wine (which Diluc would refuse) or the sound of his pet bird cleaning its feathers. 

As if suddenly, Diluc saw his pet bird glare at him (if birds could glare). Diluc knew he had to speak. He glared back anyways. 

“Um, Kaeya,” Diluc said, wearily and perhaps too worried to use Kaeya’s nickname. 

“Yes?” Kaeya replied. 

Diluc wishes that time would freeze at times like this. But, no, he had to speak. 

This was retribution for what Diluc had done, for what had happened.

Wait no, this was redemption . 

And so Diluc opened his mouth, ready to speak. He looked at Kaeya and looked back towards the birdhouse they were building. He couldn’t look at Kaeya, couldn’t make eye contact. But he had to speak. 

“I know that this is very late. And very long overdue And that I should have done this ages ago. Ever since I returned, I haven’t been treating you very well. No, I’ve actually been treating you horribly. And despite everything, you’ve done everything for me, even risking your life.”

Diluc heard Kaeya ready to speak, but he quickly continued, for Diluc knew that if he didn’t say it now he never would. 

“I abandoned you, I left you. I put you in a place with the knights that I knew you would struggle in. I threw all this work onto you, not caring that you too had lost your father. And worst of all,”

Diluc paused for a breath. Because he wanted Kaeya to face retribution, part of him wanted Kaeya to suffer. A part of him through Kaeya deserved to suffer. Ah, he could feel the tears coming 

Timmie’s voice echoed in his ear from a while ago: what’s wrong with crying? 

His voice was wavering a lot more now. Barely above a whisper, and he could not bring himself to look at the only other person in the tavern.

Diluc, with bravery and strength that he did not know he had, continued. He put what he never wanted to say into words, into truth: “And worst of all, I did the unthinkable, I tried to end your life. I raised a sword against the only person who stayed by my side for every single thing. My brother .” And that was the truth. Kaeya had been there the entire time. 

No, this was the easy way out. 

“No, I, I didn’t even just raise the sword, Kaeya, I hurt you. Physically. Mentally. In so many ways. I nearly killed you, and perhaps I may have killed some part of you. That day I didn’t care if you made it out alive, I took all my anger, all my blame and rage and turned it towards you. That was a horrible thing that I did.  I hurt you for telling the truth because I couldn’t handle my truth. That I wasn’t strong enough. And for all that. For every single thing. For not protecting Father. For every single way that I have hurt you. I can’t even imagine how much you have suffered because of me.”  Diluc had turned Kaeya into a monster of sorts within his mind. All because Diluc couldn’t see what was within Diluc. Because being mad at Kaeya meant being less mad at himself. 

Diluc finally raised his eyes to meet Kaeya’s after his ramble, half expecting Kaeya to have fallen asleep.

“I am so sorry for everything, Kae .” Diluc said, looking into Kaeya’s teary eye. 

Kaeya POV 

“I am sorry for everything, Kae.” 

Kaeya’s world went still for a second. His ears were ringing but it felt like he was hearing things clearly for the first time. He didn’t know what he was hearing. But it was everything he had hoped for. Wished for at times. 

Because this was what he wanted. This is what he had been waiting for. He had imagined this conversation many times. It had even helped him cope at times, while other times it would help him hope. He’d imagined that Diluc would apologize to him, and then Kaeya had imagined many times what he would say and do. If he would joke, or if he would demand a year’s worth of wine. Yet, he never expected Diluc to apologize. Like actually apologize. He would expect silent gifts or subtle glances. However, he never expected an actual apology from Luc . 

And even though he had followed Timmie’s advice on forgiving himself, Diluc’s apology ripped into Kaeya’s heart. Sharp and burning. Healing and cooling. He felt the scars on his body burn as if they were fresh and then cool as though they never happened. Felt them heat up and freeze at the same time. He could hear his heart thundering in a mix of emotions that were intertwined so deeply he could not tell what the emotions were. 

He felt a joke on his tongue, my my, could-do-no-wrong Diluc apologizing to me? What a sight. This day should be marked as an occasion. 

But the joke did not come. He did not speak words. 

But, what he could not speak in words, to Diluc, to himself, he spoke in tears, just as Diluc had done.  And he wasn’t sure what the tears were saying. Was it grief? For what he had gone through. Perhaps it was relief. Kaeya did not know. 

And he felt himself being pulled into a hug. Time passed, and Kaeya felt healed. 

And once the tears had dried, Kaeya spoke in a gravelly voice. 

“And, I’m sorry as well,” Kaeya spoke and before Diluc could stop him, Kaeya raised a hand. This needed to be said. 

“I know, I know before you stop me, cause I already know that you were never mad at me, you were mad at yourself. Yada yada. But I need to say this.” 

Kaeya continued, “The past little while, I’ve said things that were mean to you. Out of jealousy. Out of resentment. I think I even said I blamed you for Father’s death. But it wasn’t your fault what happened to Father. And I’m sorry for all that, I said it knowing that it would hurt you. ” Being brothers and all - Kaeya knew how to hurt Diluc. Knew Diluc better than he knew himself at times. 

“And, maybe all those years ago. I don’t really know why I told you on that day. Or maybe I guess I did. I knew you were hurt, and I don’t know. I never wanted to hurt you more. I don’t know if I wanted to hurt myself and knew that you’d react like that. Or if it’s what I thought I deserved. But, I now know that I didn’t deserve that. Not from you or from myself .” 

“I, um.” He coughed, hoping his voice would clear as he was almost on the verge of tears again. 

“I forgive you, Luc. Just as I know you have forgiven me. ” Kaeya said as his entire body shook ever so slightly and Kaeya felt a wave of sadness leave his body. As he felt a weight lift off his shoulders. As he felt the flame that suffocated his heart rest. As he felt the claws that once gripped his lungs let go. It felt like for the first time in a very long time, Kaeya could truly breathe. It was the first time in a long time, where Kaeya felt alive. And maybe, just maybe, he would have been able to make it to this place on his own. A part of him knew that. But hearing that apology from Diluc. It felt like ice on a scar. Soothing. 

And they were both crying again. And it was funny, that the past little while he and Luc had cried more than their entire childhood combined. 

“We’ve both been through a lot, haven’t we?” Diluc had chuckled sorrowfully before adding, “I’m going to try to do better.” 

And there was still a lot to work through. There were scars both visible and hidden. But they’d get through them, together . 

“Oh, and I’m sorry about scaring away the pigeons that time ago. I’ll apologize to Timmie as well.” Diluc added with a cough and mumble. 

“I forgive you,” Kaeya said with a huge grin, “I’m pretty sure the pigeons have forgiven you as well.” 

“Also, now that you’re apologizing and all, I also forgive you for lying and saying I cheated to win in that chess game.” Kaeya cheekily spoke. 

Diluc glared at him, “Not apologizing for that, I saw you move than pawn an extra square.”

“I did not!” Kaeya spoke quickly with a teasing smile. 

“Did too! I saw you!”  Diluc exclaimed with a hint of mock anger and laughter. 

Diluc's pet bird seemingly let out a laughter like chirp. If birds could laugh. Maybe they could? That sounded like a laugh. Kaeya was indeed becoming the bird whisperer. 

"Look your bird is agreeing with me" Kaeya said to the bird and Diluc. "Say something if you think I didn't cheat."

Diluc stared at Kaeya with utter amusement and shock, as though he was saying really? The bird didn't say anything and continued to clean their feathers. 

"Clean your feathers if he did cheat," Diluc added. 

"Hey, now that's cheating," Kaeya said with mock anger. 

"How?" Diluc asked feigning innocence. 

The bird stopped cleaning their feathers tilted its head and stared at them. 

Kaeya simply laughed loudly and so did Diluc. 

Chapter Text

Diluc POV 

The last little while had been interesting. The birdhouse had been fixed and all was well there. Supposedly Kaeya had taken one of the houses they had built and added it to his own home. And filled the little wine glass to the rim with a droplet of wine. In case the bird needed a change of scenery Kaeya had said. Of course, Diluc was pretty sure Kaeya was planning on taking the little bird as his own pet. Now truly being a bird whisperer. Or that was the rumors or generally gist in the Pigeon Association meetings or whatever they were called. Diluc had been delightfully invited (forced) to attend. There was an angry looking pigeon waiting by the doors of Angel's Share that had refused to let Diluc enter. So he was now a delightful (and only mora contributing) member. 

Though he and Kaeya would still often talk, there seemed to be a sort of fear around each other. A sort of ominous feeling that should have been gone ages ago. A voice in Diluc’s head. I’ll screw everything up, soon enough. It’s only a matter of time. 

And while Diluc would do his best to believe that it wasn’t true, a feeling deep in his gut would tell him that it was. That Diluc would ruin it. And he’d tell those thoughts to go away, but they wouldn’t. If he could silence that part of his mind, he’d do it. But he couldn’t. And so, when he talked with Kaeya he was on edge - even when he was the Darknight Hero. It was a curse that he felt trapped in. And okay, Diluc knew that he was exaggerating it by a lot. Like a lot. Their conversations were just a little awkward. Like Diluc would subconsciously realize he was trying too hard to laugh or smile and then worried that Kaeya knew that he was. Because there was a part of him that longed for them to be like they were when they were kids: authentic. And it was funny because their childhood had been a “lie” so to speak, but now with the “truth” reality was ever so difficult. How ironic. There felt like a sort of distance, a frozen river. A block of ice. Or like a river that was frozen from above, but you could see the water moving and bubble just beneath the ice. 

And so, as Diluc walked in the evening sun, taking a break from Angel’s Share, he let out a sigh. He heard laughter. And it twisted a shattered core within him. Jean and Barbara were laughing. And part of him was grateful that the sisters had healed their relationship. But another part - that shattered core, that little voice- reeked and bubbled with envy. And he hated himself for it. 

Jean and Barbara waved to him, and Diluc mustered up a smile as he waved back half-heartedly. But then, when he saw how happy the sisters were, he let go of the fake smile and smiled a real smile. Because he truly was happy for them.  

However, as he was walking something, or someone, bumped past him. Yet, before he could snap, he looked at who it was. And he was glad he did. It wouldn’t have done any good for him to yell at his new little brother. 

“Timmie,” Diluc called out. The boy, who had been wiping tears off his face, looked at Diluc. 

“Brother Diluc,” the voice cried, hugging him. 

“What’s wrong?” Diluc asked. 

“The pigeons! They’re gone! Now how will I talk to my Father?” 

Oh, right. The boy didn’t know. Didn’t know that Timmie’s father wasn’t reading the letters, wasn’t going to get them. 

But Diluc did. 

But what could he say? Diluc felt a heavy burden on his shoulders. Should Diluc be the one to tell him? Would Timmie be mad at Kaeya? Would Timmie be mad at him? 

Was this what it was like to hold a secret? Was this how Kaeya had felt? All those years. 

And when Diluc thought to speak the truth, he’d feel a lump. And he couldn’t speak. 

And so, instead he asked: “Where did they go?” 

“I don’t know!” Timmie replied in a panic. 

“Let’s see if we can find them.” 

And, as if on cue, Kaeya showed up. 

“What’s wrong?” Kaeya asked the crying boy. Kaeya would rarely ever show his emotions - or well more “negative” emotions. But here he was, showing fear and worry and care so freely. And Diluc could too. 

“My pigeons have finally left me. Someone scared them all away!”  the boy said between sobs. 

“Let’s go look for them. Where have you looked?”

“Just the bridge.” Timmie replied. 

The next day the pigeons were still missing but honestly, Diluc wasn’t too worried. Mondstadt was busy so the pigeons likely had found another spot to have their meals. However, upon the Pigeon Club’s request, another member was now searching the skies. That other member being Diluc’s pet bird who by default was now a member (and the most favored) and possibly a mascot (it was still a work in progress). Maybe a while ago, Diluc would have chuckled at all this effort and worried over pigeons that would be back soon. 

As the team met by the bridge, everyone was thinking. 

“Aww,” Bennett replied scratching his head, “My luck probably scared them away,” 

“No, don’t say that!” Both Timmie and Klee replied. 

Kaeya nodded his head. 

“They’ll be back,” Timmie said with a newfound enthusiasm. 

“But what if they don’t come back,” Klee said, tears forming in her eyes. 

And before either he or Kaeya could quickly reply Timmie quickly spoke. 

“We should worry about that later! Right now we should stay positive, and- ” the boy’s voice quivered, yet he continued. “And if they don’t come back, everything will be okay no matter what. We’ll go find them.” 

And Diluc saw the way Kaeya looked at his little brother in pride and joy. And Diluc did too. Timmie had grown so much hadn’t he. As did everyone. So had Bennett who was now being trained by Kaeya. So was Klee, who now had moved on (slightly) from the ideas of training pigeons to fight the fish of Mondstadt. And funnily enough, so had he and Kaeya. 

And yet, they all still had so much left to learn. Perhaps that optimistic view would set them up for failure one day. Perhaps it would not. And they would continue to grow, all of them. And sure, maybe the pigeons wouldn’t come back one day - choosing the potential luxury of the Fatui over the breadcrumbs. Probably they would. Diluc could also import the finest bread of Teyvat. So that wasn’t really a problem. Maybe he and Kaeya would get into more fights. Maybe Diluc would mess up. Maybe Kaeya would. But life would continue. Things would be okay. If they fought. Diluc would apologize. And Diluc knew that he would never act as he had in the past ever again. Because that wasn’t who he was. Oh. But it once was . It was the grief-stricken Diluc. The Diluc that was so angry and filled with rage. The Diluc that had been angry that he wasn’t enough to save Father. But that angry, vindictive self that was raging to just attack wasn’t who he was going to be again. He’d promise himself that and most importantly promise Kaeya that. 

He had learned. He had grown. And he would continue to. He had learned from his mistakes. And sure he’d make a lot more, and he had already forgiven himself for that (or at least was trying). Because he also knew that deep down, he was a good person trying to be better. And maybe there were some things that he couldn’t forgive, like the Fatui who made the delusion, like the way he treated Kaeya for telling the truth. Things that would burn him for eternity. But, maybe, one day, he would reach a point where retribution no longer burned its sick twisted claws. A day where the nightmares of that fateful night gone worse would no longer haunt him. Maybe he would be able to forgive himself just as Kaeya had forgiven him.

Suddenly, Diluc’s bird came back and, though Diluc was no bird whisperer, they knew that they had to follow it. 

Kaeya POV 

As they followed Diluc’s bird they found the pigeons at another spot, by the water. 

And also a bunch of kids chasing them away laughing. Kaeya recognized some of them as the kids Grace took care of. So this is what was happening. 

“Hey, stop it!” Timmie yelled running towards them. Kaeya turned his gaze towards Timmie, half expecting Timmie to get a Vision. 

The kids quickly darted off while laughing and scaring off all of the pigeons. 

“We need to teach them a lesson,” Klee said in the angriest Kaeya had seen her. 

Bennett nodded (though rather hesitantly).

And Kaeya stood, part of him, the adult part of him knew that he would have to put a stop to this potential war against the Bird Bullies and another wanted to see how it would play out.  But, before he could say anything Timmie spoke. 

“No, not yet,” Timmie said between tears. “They just don’t know any better.” 

“Let’s tell Grace,” Timmie said and the trio began to run back, “Let’s give them the chance to be better.”

 Diluc’s pet bird followed them in the air, almost protective. 

Ah, Timmie had grown up so much. Hadn’t he? All of them had. Everyone was growing up. It stung a little, but time wouldn’t stop, would it? Could it? 

“We can also ask a dragon or Ruin Guard if that doesn’t work,” Timmie added, narrowing his eyes. 

Kaeya chuckled then coughed. But some things hadn’t changed, maybe one day they would change or maybe it would stay the same. There was a lot of learning to do. 

Kaeya stayed behind with Diluc, crossing his arms and watching them run back. 

“Perhaps the Darknight Hero could do something about it,” mused Kaeya hiding his smirk as he was Diluc shuffling uncomfortably at the name of his alter-ego. Of course, he was also half-serious. He was a tad worried … for the Bird Bullies. 

The next day the pigeons came back to the bridge and there were also new members of the Monstadt Pigeon Lover's Association. And, as Kaeya watched them practice throwing bread crumbs in front of wooden blocks with badly drawn birds on them (all monitored by Klee, Bennett and of course, Timmie), for training he chuckled not even trying to hide it. Though not too loudly (didn’t want to get recruited into training either). 

“Throw the bread crumbs in front of the block, not at it!” Timmie yelled, “Watch Bennett and Klee again!” 

Though, there were also rumors, about a certain Darknight Hero losing his temper at some kids for no good reason. But those were quiet compared to the rumors of a bird-like creature of the night that had appeared sporting a little mask and seemed rather upset (put nicely) about the pigeons being scared away. The kids had deemed it the Protector of the Pigeons, that would peck anyone that dared to mess with the pigeons. Now that was a new story to keep the Bird Bullies at bay. Of course, it was all rumors. For all Kaeya knew was that Grace had done an excellent job. 

Kaeya waved to Diluc who was walking past the training trying to hide a smile at their antics. Diluc waved back, and Kaeya saw Diluc trying to hide a small smile as he looked at his brother. 

Diluc POV 

…

Time was something that continued to pass, and things were slow. Diluc wasn’t sure if they’d ever joke again like they once did. Though, they weren’t the same as things were before. Ever since they had become brothers once again, ever since Kaeya had saved him, their newly reformed family had been rather strange (of course half of it was literally birds). But talking to Kaeya was like walking on a frozen patch in the lake. Not knowing where to step. Diluc afraid knowing that his footsteps would melt the ice, no matter what he did. And he had decided that he’d accept that. 

But then

one 

day

things 

changed . 

A simple sentence turned it, not around. Simply turn it. Because things would not ever go back to how they had been. It was tough to accept: things would never turn around to go back to how it once was, but it could change . 

“So, the Darknight Hero, huh?” Kaeya asked with a smirk on his face, a teasing glint in his eye telling Diluc that he was going to be made fun of this for the rest of his life.

After Kaeya had said that, the river slightly changed, the world was no longer frozen. They weren’t walking on pleats of frozen water anymore. 

Diluc had simply rolled his eyes making no attempt to hide his smile and whacked Kaeya’s (good) arm. 

It was almost like how they had been as children, still different for scars linger, but perhaps things could be even better. Diluc wasn’t alone anymore. He never truly was. 

… 

It was a mistake. 

Asking Kaeya to play chess with him on a weekly basis was a huge mistake.

Because Diluc, whose greatest opponent was a butler (who didn’t know how to play chess), was now against Kaeya, who had spent the last few years literally creating (scheming)  plans to stop Fatui and any troublemakers - literally real life chess. And yes, while Diluc did work as a certain hero, which surprisingly (or not surprising at all) Kaeya knew about, he didn’t have to literally think that much. Oh, and the fact that Kaeya had basically trained half the kids (and some of the adults) on how to play chess really made things unfair. 

“Checkmate!” Kaeya said with a smirk. 

Diluc rolled his eyes and scoffed, but there wasn’t any hatred behind it. Not like there once had been. Perhaps there never was. Perhaps the hatred was grief projecting itself. Weakness rejecting itself. And sure, while power, endless and flowing, was nice, forgiveness, free and calming, wasn’t so bad either. 

Yet it was during these games when Diluc and Kaeya would talk. They’d talk about little things like the weather. Yet other times they would talk about their childhood. They’d talked about the happy things and the sad things. It was the first time Diluc had ever voiced how his biggest fear was letting Father down and how it had happened. How Diluc had just wanted to be someone for both Kaeya and his father to be proud of yet instead had messed everything up. Kaeya talked as well about how there’d be no way for him to make the right choice, how Father was proud of Diluc. Time felt slow, and Diluc didn’t mind it. 

Kaeya had left after a few more games (and talking with Adelinde of course), to check up on the knights on patrol. While Diluc was still a little upset that Kaeya still refused to stop working on his day off, he was glad that Kaeya was at least no longer doing all the work for knights. 

Diluc sat in the silence of the house, drinking his grape juice when he heard a voice from behind him. 

“Your father would be proud,” Adelinde said in a voice filled with emotion and nostalgia.

And, because of the lump in his throat, all Diluc could do was nod. Father likely would have been mad at them (more specifically Diluc) but now, with how far they had made it, Diluc knew that his father would be proud of both of his sons. Diluc was proud of himself and perhaps most of all his brother - Kae . 

Kaeya POV 

…

Kaeya found himself waking up before the Sun. And so, he had gone to the little birdhouse at his windowsill and picked up the little bird, who hadn’t learned to fly (yet), but that was okay. Why would one want to fly when they could just be escorted by Mondstadt’s greatest Cavalry Captain? Kaeya chuckled as he looked at the little glass of wine (that was covered with a lid as Timmie had told Kaeya that birds can not drink wine - what a pity). 

And so, Kaeya walked past the bridge, and towards the trees, where the little bird’s brother chirped with a sort of happiness as Kaeya gently placed the bird in the other birdhouse, which now had a little cup of grape juice - also covered. But that was for the best, Kaeya would pity any bird that would accidentally drink something as disgusting as grape juice. 

Kaeya looked at the two birds, happy in their homes. He held up his Vision, that once had missing wings, that once felt like it reminded him that he was a traitor, no matter what he did. And there was a part of him (still was) that wanted to hear an apology from Diluc for uttering the words Mondstadt will never be the home of a traitor. But he guessed Diluc hadn’t realized how much those words had hurt. How much they had torn at his being and soul and shattered it. 

And maybe one day Luc would apologize (if he ever remembered) and he knew that Diluc didn’t believe that Kaeya was actually a traitor (even though in a way he was). Those were just  words that Diluc had uttered in anger but Kaeya did, Kaeya had. Kaeya also knew that sometimes he’d have to find that strength within himself to not let those words hurt him. It was easier said than done, but he had to get through it. Had to accept the pain and the hurt as a part of him, even if he didn’t like that part. 

And so Kaeya had asked Klee’s brother, Albedo, for help to fix - no not fix, it was never broken- rather modify his Vision. And Kaeya hadn’t hid his tears from them as they brought the final product. Kaeya also hadn’t missed that perhaps it was just fate or chance (or just Albedo being creative Albedo), the Khaneri’ah star that had been woven into the design of his new Vision. 

Kaeya’s Vision glistened in the peak of sunlight, now with the extra wings. Or maybe the right amount. It healed something within Kaeya that he never knew he needed. Like a sudden hug or a free bottle of  wine.

Perhaps too many feathers would make it impossible for Kaeya to fly bringing him down. Perhaps they would mean that when he did fly, he would fly further than he could ever imagine. And all Kaeya could do was think of who he was at the present moment. Not run towards the future or get stuck in the past. And Kaeya held the Vision with a sense of purpose and happiness, the Vision no longer reminding him that he had lived, but rather that he was alive. 

With the Sun only starting to rise, Kaeya decided to grab some bread for Timmie (and the pigeons). As he walked through Mondstadt and looked at the homes and stores, of the stories and places. Only one thought lingered in his mind - time continues to pass. 

As he returned to the bridge with the bread wrapped in paper, he saw Diluc’s pet bird sitting on a lamp post and chuckled. While the pigeons had been afraid of the bird at first (or perhaps just as awe-struck as they had been meeting Kaeya), they were now no longer scared. Of course, perhaps some of the pigeons began to tell stories of a masked bird that just coincidentally looked like Diluc’s bird. Or maybe they had comic books or something. An interpretive dance? Kaeya also noted that the pigeons no longer ran (or flew)  away from him, actually they hadn’t done that in a while. Kaeya chuckled, guessing he really did love the cruel, relentless yet loving, wonderful world. 

Yet, it was on this morning, as Kaeya’s gaze returned past the bread he was holding in his hands, past the pigeons pecking rocks on the ground, and towards the clear sparkling water that Kaeya really began to think. He’d been through a lot hadn’t he? They all had. He continued to stare at the water as the sun slowly made its way past the river. The sun would leave, yet it would always return with time. But, Kaeya would have a chance to catch the waking sun some days. 

It was here, where Kaeya realized something. That he had been here before and not only once. Back when he was lonely and sad. When he was angry and mad. When he was happy and glad. And it felt like an eternity and seconds ago, when he had first stepped on the bridge looking across the horizon, waking up before the sun. Back when his scars would burn beneath the fabric as he felt the warmth from the sun. Time had passed. The Sun had gone, the Sun had returned. Time would continue to pass and the sun would be gone again. It would return, but it would be gone in mere seconds. 

And that’s the thing Kaeya realized. Time will never heal all wounds . No. Time will let those wounds burn, let them wither and tear. Time wouldn’t heal wounds - time leaves scars, glaring and fierce. 

But time does one thing: it gives chances . It gives chances for better days. Chances through the pain, through the hurt, through the tears. 

Time would tear families apart, but also give chances for families to be born. Chances to be reborn and even rebuilt. For scars to reopen and to heal. Time turns grapes into delicious or disgusting (depending on who you ask) wine. 

It gives chances for grumpy older brothers to make changes. It gives chances for pigeons to stop being so rude. Time gives chances to fix mistakes. Time gives chances for strangers to turn into family. A chance for a strange kid (and his pigeons) to turn into a family, if not a reason for being. 

A chance to make things right. A chance for something to go better. A chance to be better. A chance for a pigeon to get a crumb, a chance for a bird to learn to fly, a chance for a captain to befriend a bunch of pigeons. It gives chances for brothers to seek forgiveness and to find each other once again. Chances to eat food cooked by Adelinde again that reminded him of the comforts of childhood. 

And maybe Kaeya was a fool to grasp so tightly onto chances because not everyone deserves those chances (like Eroch - Kaeya wasn’t going to forgive or forget that guy). 

But Kaeya was here all because of chances. That were taken on him. That he took on others. But perhaps most importantly, the ones he took on himself . Here Kaeya was standing after everything. Kaeya - broken, bruised, hurt, traitorous, healed, smart, kind, strong, #1 Cavalry Captain of all time - was here. After all this time. 

All this thinking was making Kaeya hungry. 

Kaeya unwrapped the bread and took a bite, no longer caring about what the pigeons thought of him. He stared at the sunrise. 

And then, a crumb fell and bounced off of the stone bricks. Kaeya watched it out of the corner of his eye. Not getting his hopes up. 

Kaeya watched as a pigeon went towards the crumb. 

And pecked at the ground next to it. 

Kaeya chuckled. Guess Mondstadt pigeons really didn’t like traitors or super cool Cavalry Captains. Or both.  

But then, Kaeya watched as the pigeon pecked at the crumb. 

Kaeya felt his heart thundering in his chest. 

Kaeya held his breath and watched as the pigeon ate the crumb and began looking for more. 

His heart thundered and then Kaeya looked at the bread he was holding.

With his heart on his sleeve, Kaeya took a chance. 

He threw a piece of bread and watched as the pigeons flocked around it. Trying to get the morsel. 

Watched as the pigeon pecked and ate the bread. 

A single tear drop fell from his eye. Unrelenting and unstopping. 

Then another. 

Kaeya continued to throw the pieces of bread. His heart continued to thunder yet it was a soothing thunder with welcomed rain. 

He watched as the pigeons continued to eat the bread. 

Tears continued to fall. The sunlight reflected in tears as the sun reached above the horizon.  

And so, 

Kaeya. 

Not Kaeya Alberich, and not even Kaeya Ravinger (no matter how much he missed that former name), but just Kaeya - who he had been, was going to be, and most importantly, who he was at this exact very moment - was finally

home . 

~ The End ~