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The average human being could get drunk off just a few beers. For a vampire however it took a lot more than that, and Varekai had just about finished off a bottle of vodka when he was hitting that point where he’d officially consider himself drunk. It was the kind of drunk that amplified everything and dulled nothing besides common sense and reason. It also wasn’t the fun kind of drunk, but rather the kind that leads a man who has been alive for over two hundred years to thinking, and that is never good.
“Varekai, you need to go to bed,” Kitten told him as sternly as his demeanor would allow.
The vampire looked at his temporary roommate through blurry eyes and he could swear the Winnebago was shaking even though he knew damn well that it wasn’t possible.
“I think I fucked up.”
Kitten blinked. “What do you mean? You drank too much but I don't think-“
“I mean in general… in life overall.”
Great, it was one of those moments. Kitten hated these kinds of moments, he’d occasionally have them with drunken "friends" who wanted to have sex and then get all sentimental and tell him how badly they felt for cheating on their wives or husbands. No matter how much he hated it he knew that the best way to deal with these types of things was to just sit and listen.
“I didn’t mean to die,” V mumbled. “I left my family… Caroline and John were just kids and I left them without a dad. I didn’t get to see my little girl get married and John… y’know he’s…” He stopped and shook his head. “Never mind, not important.”
“Varekai, it wasn't your fault.”
“I know but… I still feel like I shoulda done something… anything.” He sighed and looked down at his hands. “And Madeline… I let her die. She was sick, she was so damn sick and she wouldn’t let me do anything about it. I had to watch her die, a little more every day until she was just skin and bones and hair and…” Tears started to slide down his cheeks. He made no move to wipe them away, the alcohol had dulled his stupid pride. “She died and I totally lost it. Y’know I was normal before then? I was still going by John and I was nice and sweet… the way I was when I was human. I was a decent guy before Madeline died. But I just went crazy after that.”
Kitten watched the vampire and tentatively reached out to take his hand. “I'm sorry…”
Varekai let out a strained sob and pulled Kitten towards him, holding the boy close and burying his face in his shoulder, crying freely now. “I miss her. I miss Elizabeth and I miss Madeline… and what’s gonna happen when it comes to your time? I can’t fucking take that again!”
“Varekai, you should not think of these things right now. You do not know what will happen in the future,” Kitten reasoned. “It is best to simply enjoy life rather than worry about the time when it will end.”
“I know…” How odd was it that he was taking advice from a seventeen year old when he had been old enough to be seventeen over a dozen times. “But it’s hard when you already know how bad it hurts. When Madeline died I didn’t want to feel anymore so when the elders approached me about working for them I jumped at the chance. I had a purpose, I had to find vampires and kill them as quickly as possible, no attachment. I got so damn good at it too, killing was easier than feeling… then I came here and… and I met you and your stupid family that actually likes me for some reason and…”
“And?” Kitten asked.
V sniffled and pulled back, finally wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “You made me weak. Not just you, all of you, the whole family. I'm just like I was before, attached to a bunch of people who're going to die someday while I do fuck all about it."
“Varekai, emotions are not a sign of weakness,” Kitten said softly, smoothing the vampire’s hair in a surprisingly touching gesture. “To live without emotion is to be weak, for rather than facing what could cause you pain you are running from it.”
Varekai remained silent for some time, pondering Kitten’s words until he finally began to laugh. It was a hollow laugh that seemed more ironic than amused. “How is it that you became so damn smart?”
“I've been through a lot too, even if I'm not as old as you are. It's given me a lot to think about, and unlike you I actually take the time to do the thinking,” Kitten said with a small knowing smile.
“Yeah you’re like fucking Mister Miyagi or some shit.”
“Who?”
This time Varekai’s laugh was genuine. “When I’m sober we’re gonna watch some movies. You need to be enlightened in the way of the Karate Kid.”
Kitten was simply happy that V seemed to be in better spirits, and nodded. “Alright. But now you need to sleep.”
“Will you stay with me?”
“Of course.”
Without another word the two crawled into bed, V leaning against Kitten’s chest in an uncharacteristic display of what he would no doubt consider weakness. Kitten simply held the man close and hoped that everything would be better in the morning.