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“Did you know a man died trying to hug the moon, but fell off his boat and drowned.”
Andrew slammed the door in Neil’s face and walked back to the kitchen.
Every fucking time that menace came to his house he had some weird death joke; the fuck was this? Andrew absolutely did not find this endearing.
“Your nuisance is here,” Andrew said to Aaron as he approached the table where a stacks of chocolate chip and normal pancakes sat in heaps.
Andrew plucked another chocolatey pancake from a stack and tore it, trying to distract himself from the knowledge that Neil Josten was right outside the front door.
Bee stood at the stove where she was making eggs and bacon, and was now turned and watching Aaron and Neil walk into the kitchen.
“Hello Neil,” Bee said pleasantly.
“Hi, Ms.Dobson,” Neil responded. Andrew rolled his eyes.
“Would you like some breakfast?” she asked.
Neil looked to Aaron who gave a half shrug half nod.
“Sure,” Neil replied sheepishly. Andrew wanted to gag.
Betsy grabbed him a plate and a cup and sat it on the spot right next to Andrew. He looked up at her from his seat with a glare. She smiled at him before walking back to the stove. Traitor.
Neil sat and grabbed a pancake then poured himself some orange juice from the pitcher. Andrew tried very hard not to look over at him but failed, like he always did. His eyes drifted to the redhead and, unluckily, Neil caught his gaze. Neil’s lips quirked as he began cutting up a pancake. If Andrews cheeks were a rosy pink, well he just hoped no one saw.
—
This was the problem with having Neil Josten around. Ever since Aaron and Neil were paired up as lab partners the two had been best friends. Neil would come over and the two of them would play video games or just go up to Aarons room and hang out. But no matter where the two where in the house, Andrew always locked himself in his room when Neil came over. He’d already seen enough of the boy at school, he didn’t need the embarrassment to follow him into his own home; for every time Neil was near Andrew was reduced to a blushing, blubbering mess.
Andrew knew from the first time he saw Neil, which was before even Aaron, that he was fucked. It was in the hallway, the two had passed each other as the hallway roared with loud highschoolers; Neil’s eyes searched the crowd with a bright orange hoodie pulled over his head, then they stuck to someone. Right onto Andrews. Blue fucking eyes and red hair, Andrew wanted to groan and head back the other direction. He had pretty lips and a scarred face, short, but taller than Andrew. The worst part, the redhead kept looking as they passed each other in the hall, head slightly turned to follow the others gaze.
Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Don’t look back. Andrew looked back. He shouldn’t have. He was still being watched carefully, the way Andrew was also watching him. Then Andrew turned around and forced the stranger from his mind as he walked to his next class.
—
Quicker than he normally would have, Andrew scarfed down his pancakes and stood noisily, ignoring the scrutinizing look from his twin, as he went to the sink to wash his plate and cup.
“No bacon or eggs?” Bee asked as Andrew began placing the dishes into he dishwasher.
Andrew shook his head and grunted.
“Ok. But I’ll save you some just in case,” Bee replied.
Andrew felt warmth bloom in his chest, “Thanks,” Andrew said quietly as he speed walked up to his room.
—
Up in his room, Andrew paced back and forth, glaring at the ground. He was trying to form a way to escape the house without having to pass Neil. Too bad he and Aaron were in the living room watching some weird ass movie. If he saw Neil all wrapped up in a blanket he’d probably just die on the spot; so he thought of ways to avoid that part of the house.
He had texted Kevin 10 minutes ago.
A: come get me
K: ???
A: Jostens here
K: lol
Andrew glared at his phone. Fuck you Kevin.
A: fuck off. Come get me
K: be there in 15
(seen)
Andrew carefully went down the steps after telling Bee where he was headed, hoping no one knew he was coming so he could sneak out the back. He was not quiet enough.
“Andrew, will you get me a blanket.”
Andrew screwed his eyes closed and took a deep breath as he went down the final few steps.
To his left was the living room. On the couch, Neil was laying with his head on the couch armrest, bundled in a fluffy blue blanket. Andrews fluffy blue blanket. Now this is exactly why Andrew wanted to avoid the living room. His breath had caught in his throat as he stared at Neil, half asleep on the couch.
Andrew huffed as he grabbed a blanket from the basket near the TV and threw it to Aaron.
“I’m going,” Andrew said as he approached the door, very pointedly not looking in Neil’s direction
“Where?” Aaron asked.
Andrew took a careful glance behind him. Neil was watching him carefully, his blue eyes focused on Andrew face which was starting to flush pink already.
“Kevin,” Andrew said, trying not to sound strained.
Neil looked away quickly after Andrew said this, his eyes flicked to Neil swiftly. Neil did not look back. Andrew narrowed his eyes at the redhead but eventually turned back to his twin.
“Ok,” Aaron replied and began wrapping himself in the blanket.
Andrew let his eyes linger on Neil for just one more moment before he wrenched the door open and walked out.
—
“This is getting sad, Andrew,” Kevin said as Andrew climbed into his truck.
“Shut the fuck up.”
Kevin laughed and shook his head as Andrew buckled and slouched in the leather seat.
“Seriously. Cant you just tell him, I mean what if he likes you too?”
Andrew sneered, “I do not like Neil Josten.” A useless lie, but Andrew said it anyway.
Kevin rolled his eyes as he started the car. He was perfectly used to Andrews reluctance to say he had anything other than hatred for Neil.
“Sure you don’t, you just stare at him hopelessly in math class and swoon everytime he walks by.”
Andrew reached over and flicked Kevins head. Kevin laughed and leaned away before looking over at his friend more seriously, “Andrew… c’mon, you’re cool as hell. Give it a chance.”
Andrew grinded his teeth and stared straight ahead, “Just drive.”
Of course, Kevin had brought them to Sweeties’s; even though he never got anything, he knew Andrew needed ice cream, so to ice cream they went.
Andrew ordered the same thing he always did and began shoveling the sweet chocolate mess into his mouth as Kevin discussed the lacrosse teams chances of going to state.
“You know if you eat all that shit you’ll have a heart attack before 30,” Kevin said as Andrew finished up the last scoop of ice cream.
Andrew let his eyes drag up to Kevins face and he smirked, “That’s the point, Kev.”
Kevin rolled his eyes, “Fuck off.”
Andrew shrugged and tried to scoop up more ice cream from the dish, though it was more like soup now.
“I wish Neil could see you like this, he hates this shit,” Kevin said.
Andrews grunted, “Stop talking about him. I don’t want to think about that idiot.”
“As if you weren’t already,” Kevin replied easily.
Of course Andrew had been thinking of Neil. Andrew knew Neil hated all things sweet, especially chocolate, so it only made sense that he would think of Neil. It was pathetic.
“You could always seduce him with your charming personality.”
Andrew glared at Kevin from behind his spoon.
“I could say the same to you,” Andrew replied, a devilish grin spreading across his face.
He rarely broached the topic, but when he did it always hit the mark.
Kevins face flushed, “I don’t know what you mean,” he said, faking confusion.
“You’re a horrible liar Kev,” Andrew said. “I see how you act around him. All idiot like.”
“Oh like your one to talk,” Kevin stuttered as he looked anywhere but Andrews eyes.
Kevin was Andrews best friend, of course he was going to notice him staring at his brother all the time with that gross gleam in his eyes.
It was constant, and Andrew wished he could smack sense into his brother who was always looking the other way when Kevins eyes were on him.
He wouldn’t tell Kevin this, it was Aaron’s business, but sometimes Andrew thought he saw Aaron doing the same thing Kevin always had. His eyes softening when Kevin spoke about Greek history, or when he told stupid jokes. But Aaron always seemed to go quiet immediately after so he never pressed.
“At least I’ll admit it,” Andrew grumbled.
Kevin chewed on his lip, “Well it’s kinda hard when it’s clearly unreciprocated,” he replied sadly. Andrew instantly felt bad for being too harsh, but didn’t say so.
“Like mine is?”
Kevin laughed, “Well…”
Andrews mind reeled. Well what?
“What?” Andrew said quickly.
Kevin just shook his head, “Andrew…”
“What Kevin?” Andrew demanded.
Now Kevin looked embarrassed again, “Well, it’s not crazy. I mean, look,” Kevin started. “Sometimes, he’ll turn around to look at the clock, but then he always looks at you. Then when the bell rings he always takes super long to pack up so he’s behind you, and not to mention whenever I bring you up at practice he goes all quiet.”
Andrews body feel electric. Kevin has never said this much about them before. Never. He always teases Andrew, but never said things like… that. Things that sound like Neil could feel the same way Andrew does.
“I don’t-“
“I never said anything because I didn’t want you to get upset or think get your hopes up, but… Andrew I do really think he likes you and… I know Aaron doesn’t feel that way. At least one of us can be happy, right?”
Andrews shoulders are tense and he can feel his whole body pulsing.
“Don’t.”
“Andrew-“
“No, Kev! He doenst… no.”
“Andrew i know you don’t think-“
“Do not,” Andrew says sternly, because he knows exactly what Kevin is going to say. He’s going to say that he knows Andrew still doesn’t feel worthy of that kind of feeling. Kevin knows Andrew doesn’t feel worthy of Aaron, or Bee, or Nicky, or anyone good in his life. Andrew will not let himself be fooled that Neil wants him back just from a few measly glances. If anything he probably thinks Andrew is some freak who never talks to anything other than his doppelgänger and a guy who had a tattooed cheek since he was in middle school.
“I want to go home,” Andrew says abruptly.
Kevin nods, understanding. They get the check, pay and leave silently.
The ride home is quiet. Andrew can feel that Kevin feels bad. That Kevin regretted bringing up that topic. But neither of them say anything.
Before Andrew gets out of the car he inhales and says, “It’s ok. I just- don’t want to think he likes me and be let down.”
Kevin nods carefully, his face sullen and dark.
“Ok.”
“Ok,” Andrew replied, then slips from the car and into the house.
—
Of course it’s just Neil there when he walks in. He’s sat up on the couch typing away on his phone. Honestly it’s probably the first time he’s ever seen Neil use one the whole time he’s known the redhead.
When Andrew shuts the door Neil’s head snaps up and his eyes widen when he sees Andrew.
“Hey,” he says quietly.
Andrews body buzzes, god he’s lame. Freaking out over blue eyes. But god he’s so pretty. Andrews practically melting at the door, and for what?
“Hey,” he says.
Neil’s eyes slowly get harder as he watches Andrew at the door.
“What happened,” Neil says, he’s standing now, glaring at the door.
Andrews eyes shift and he walks further into the living room, bad idea. Because now Neil is only a foot from him.
“You look-“ he stops. “Are you ok?” Neil’s eyes are piercing, making Andrew feel unsteady.
“I’m ok,” he assures. Neil doesn’t look convinced as he looks back to the door.
“Neil,” Andrew says. Neil’s eyes snap back to Andrew, searching.
“I’m ok,” he says agin.
Neil nods and keeps his eyes on Andrew.
“Good…”
Andrews eyes narrow. What’s did Neil think had happened?
“Are you ok,” Andrew asks back. Neil’s face clears of all emotions and he nods once before going back to the couch.
Andrew let’s himself smirk as Neil meets his gaze.
“Bye, Neil,” he says casually, though his insides are burning. Flaming like the red of Neil’s hair.
—
30 minutes later, Aaron comes storming in his room.
“What’d that asshole do?” Aaron demands.
Ok. What the fuck is going on?
“The fuck are you going on about?” Andrew says from his bed, as he closes his book.
“Kevin.”
Andrew glares at Aaron in confusion. His twin flales his arms, “Your fucking boyfriend. Neil said-“
“My what?” Andrew says. His boyfriend? Kevin? What the fuck?
Aaron just stands there, “Kevin. Your fucking boyfriend, what did he do?”
Andrew just sits there. For once he is struck to silence. Did he really think Kevin was his boyfriend.
“Who said Kevin is my boyfriend?”
Aaron’s eyes widen, “Umm… everyone.”
Andrews mouth is now hanging open. Does everyone seriously think him and Kevin are together?
“Explain,” Andrew demands, eyes narrowed.
Aaron stutters, “Well you guys are always together… and going out to Sweetie’s. Plus he’s the only one you let touch you.”
Andrew Is suddenly struck with how fucking stupid his brother, and apparently everyone else, must be to think he and Kevin day are together.
“Aaron, I can have friends, you know,” Andrew says with barely contained anger.
Aaron flinches, but then the words seem to hit him somewhere deeper. His face clears and his mouth begins to pull into a smile.
“Wait wait wait. So you’re.. not with Kevin?”
Andrew just sneers at his twin.
“Or anyone else?”
Jesus Christ.
“No, dipshit.”
Aaron shakes his head.
“Holy shit, Neil’s gonna lose his fucking mind.”
Andrews mind goes fuzzy again.
“Why would Neil lose his mind?”
Aaron just laughs. Liek hysterical, knee slapping laugh.
“Andrew… c’mon you know,” Aaron say between laughs.
Andrew stands from his bed and walks up to his twin.
“Know. What.” Andrews the one who’s going to lose him mind if he doesn’t find out what the fuck is going on.
“Andrew, it’s the reason you’re so fucking weird around him.”
Christ Andrew feels like he’s in some sick dream right now.
“No, I fucking don’t,” he snarls.
Aaron’s face clears, “Andrew, you know Neil’s like… in love with you right?”
Static. Andrews mind is fucking static. His whole body feels like it’s floating. This isn’t real.
“What?” He says, to make sure he’s not hallucinating.
Aaron shakes his head, his face going pale.
“You didn’t know,” he says, now looking utterly terrified.
Andrew feel sparks in his chest. Hope?
Andrew grabs Aaron’s shirt and demands, “Neil. Neil fucking Josten. Likes me?”
Aaron searches Andrews face and shakes his head, “Andrew, he thinks you hung the goddamn moon.”
—
Holy shit, Andrew hates running. Like he despises it, but he knows he’s getting closer and closer to Neil.
When he sees Neil’s house he forces his legs to work harder and faster. He bangs on the red door in front of him as he pants.
He bangs harder.
“Calm the fuck down, Jesus,” Neil’s voice says from behind the door. Andrew lurches from the door and wipes sweat from his forehead before Neil opens the door.
His face widens in shock at the sight of a sweaty, heaving Andrew Minyard at his doorstep.
“You.” Andrew says almost angrily.
“I-“
“You think,” he pants. “I’m fucking Kevin Day,” Andrew says with a nasty twist to his face.
Neil blushes and shifts inside his house, looking down at his feet.
“Uhh… look it’s none of my-“
“And you like me?”
Andrew sees the moment Neil’s heart seems to drop onto the concrete between them. He stutters as he tries to explain.
Andrew cuts him off, “Can I kiss you?”
The question catches Neil of guard, his mouth hangs open and Andrew stares at his pink, soft lips.
“I- yes,” Neil says dreamily.
Andrew surges forward and connects their mouths before pushing himself into the house, never pulling away from where he and Neil are connected. Neil groans as Andrew shuts the door with his hand and pushes Neil against it. His hands and running through Neil’s hair, grasping at the velvety curls as he presses their bodies together. When Neil opens his mouth to Andrew, he slips his tongue into Neil mouth and is gifted with a soft moan that has Andrew weak in the knees.
Neil’s hands are grasping his waist, pulling him impossibly closer as Andrew kisses him into the door. Andrew feel the touches all throughout his body in tiny tingles that start at Neil’s mouth. God he tastes like strawberry and smoke.
Neil nips at Andrew lips and Andrew barely contains his groan. Neil’s lips are so soft, and so fucking eager. Their mouths slide against each other and Neil whimpers when Andrew pulls on his hair.
Before things go any further, Andrew pulls back and rests his head against Neil’s who’s eyes flutter open. God Andrew could die right now. Neil’s lips are swollen and bright red, his cheeks rosy in splotches and his hair- god his hair is tousled from Andrews hands and Andrew can feel himself melt.
“So you- you’re not with Kevin?” Neil says, Andrew can practically feel the idiots smile.
Andrew huffs, “Idiot.”
—
They’re watching a movie when Neil abruptly asks, “How long did you…” he trails off.
Andrew is stroking Neil’s head from where he is laying on Andrews shoulder. He thinks for a moment, “How long did I like you?”
Neil humms. Andrew let’s his mouth quirk, god 2 weeks of being with Neil Josten and he’s still clueless as to how much Andrew fucking loves him.
“The day in the hallway.”
Neil pulls away and for a moment Andrew is scared he freaked Neil out, but then he sees Neil’s face. It’s all gooey and Andrew would roll his eyes if it weren’t so adorable. Instead Andrew just reaches out and cups Neil’s face in his hands, “I was gone the moment I saw you.”