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Max was shitting their pants.
Not literally, but the churning feeling in their stomach was there.
They had no idea how a group of five teenagers from Indiana would react to them being non-binary. But, Max had gone long enough feeling like someone else around their closest friends. Friends that were more like family than their actual family.
So, here they were, in Mike Wheeler’s basement on a rainy Sunday, blurting out,
“I’m actually non-binary.”
The Party just stared at them for a second before turning skeptical eyes on each other. Lucas gave Max a soft but encouraging smile to keep going. He had known about Max’s identity for a while now, and he knew that Max wanted to come out to the Party.
“Do you guys know what that is? What they/them pronouns are?” Max asked the group
The group looked collectively a little embarrassed, red cheeks all around, when Will piped up, “No, I don’t know really what that means, would you feel comfortable explaining to us?”
“Yeah, so um, basically, instead of referring to me as she or her or him I want you to use they and them. Like ‘oh, yeah, Max is going to the grocery store and they’re going to pick up some milk,’” Max explained a little shyly.
“Okay, cool, I can definitely do that. Can I ask what this means for you?” Will continued the conversation.
“I just don’t really see myself as a woman or a man. I don’t know if I ever have, maybe this is why I’ve always wanted to go by just ‘Max,’” They continue with more confidence, “But by using they/them pronouns for me it’s like you’re helping me feel more comfortable in my gender because I don’t feel like a she and pronouns without gender make it so I don’t have to be one of the other, I can identify as something else.”
“I had to idea that was an option...” Dustin says absentmindedly.
“Oh, yeah, there’s loads of options! We can do some research about this if you want,” Max says, “If it’ll help you understand or if you want to explore anything for yourself.”
The Party gathers around the Wheeler’s laptop that Mike sprinted up the stairs to retrieve for research. They start reading articles about what it means to be non-binary as well as coming out stories and biographies of non-binary people. The whole group sits together in a fascinated silence as they read.
“This is so cool!” El exclaims. She looks so excited and crashes her arms around Max, squeezing tight, saying, “I’m happy for you. Thanks for telling us about this, I never knew about anything other than boys and girls. This is fun to learn about.”
“Yeah, actually, this is really cool,” Dustin agrees, “Do you know if like, you can be multiple genders? Like could someone be non-binary and male?” He asks.
“Yeah, that’s a thing too. I had a friend back in California who used she/her and they/them pronouns. Like her friends would change back and forth between the sets of pronouns for them. Some people have no preference for which pronouns other people use for them, but other people put the slash in between multiple pronouns and kind of sort by significance. Like if someone says they use she/they pronouns they might prefer ‘she’ over ‘they’ but still identify with both,” Max excitedly explained to Dustin.
His face lit up at that. Dustin almost yells, “I want that! Can I use he/they pronouns?”
“You can use whatever pronouns you want,” Max reassures him.
Will looked up at them, asking, “Can I use they/them and he/him pronouns too?”
“Of course, Will,” Max smiled as Mike leaned over and kissed Will the side of his head with an arm around their shoulders.
“What does that mean in terms of dating? Like how non-binary people and their partners identify in relationships?” Mike turns to ask Max.
“I actually identify as bisexual now,” Lucas says to Mike, “I think Max helped me figure that out, but I’ve always been attracted to multiple genders,” he smiles.
“Yeah, sometimes it complicates labels, but for people who feel love in a certain way for their partners it can still be simple. I think non-binary people can still be in lesbian and gay relationships if they choose to label it as such,” Max answers, “But, you guys have known about me being bi for forever. I’ve almost always known I’m attracted to multiple genders,” they say.
“Yeah, me too, in a way,” Mike agrees.
“Oh please, it took you forever to figure out you like boys,” Will complains.
Mike just smiles like he didn’t hear Will’s remark and covers their face with his hand in an embarrassed attempt to get Will to shut up.
“Thanks for being so interested, you guys. It means a lot,” Max admits. Lucas wraps his arms around them from behind and presses a comforting kiss on their cheek.
“Anything for our family,” he says, as the Party nods in agreement.