Archive of Our Own

It’s not a good idea to piss your partner off right after a promise of something really nice to munch on first thing in the morning. It’s been a while since he genuinely looked forward to waking up to another day and he fashionably ruined it of course. In his defence, however, Kunikida just seemed to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed because he totally acted on the threat of not cooking that chocolate porridge he promised him just because he replaced the toothpaste with mayonnaise and vice versa. 

In Dazai’s opinion, Kunikida overreacted. 

But still it sucks in all possible ways because his mind has nothing but the prospect of eating that heaven-sent meal. 

Though, Kunikida has long gone out and left him on his own out of spite. His partner really can be petty at times. 

Pouting at the door, not really up to going to work, Dazai slumps on the floor and rethinks why Kunikida is so easily frustrated today. Last night, he mentioned a new case the Agency will be handling. It’s about a drug dealer whose hideout was sniffed out by Ranpo very easily. The criminal reacted quite quickly as well because when Atsushi and Kyouka arrived at the scene, everything was cleaned and there barely was left. 

Obviously, the drug dealer has a new hideout, though his schemes and his name are very much exposed for all the law enforcers to gnaw at. Moreover, he’s basically a lone wolf now, his subordinates and small-time business partners locked up. It should have been a case closed for the Agency because a powerless rat like that person he forgot the name of is a lot easier to deal with, since he’s certainly going to be very predictable in terms of his survival tactics. He’ll hide for a few days, wait for the issue to subdue, and act out a counterattack at the least expected time. 

The least expected time, however, came quite earlier. Before they were able to pack up for the day, they received a lucid threat against the Agency about getting some petty revenge. By the looks of it, this drug dealer pretty much has given up and just hid temporarily to get back to the people responsible for his downfall. It’s a common retaliation which Dazai has encountered numerous times. Most of them ended up dead while some pitifully begged for their life and tried to negotiate for an absorption contract with the Mafia. Kind of pathetic either way because it means a life thrown away. Dazai assumes that it’s the same case for this man. 

Kunikida treats the threat very seriously but Dazai clearly cannot give a single damn. What can one person do against a literal Agency filled with ability users? It’s a losing game at the start, and even if this person somehow succeeds with an initial phase of his revenge, it’s still going to end up as his end. Pointless, and not worth spending any energy into. 

Connecting the dots, Dazai deduces that his apathy towards the case irked Kunikida at the right spots. He looks like he does not treat the case seriously (which he rightly does, in fact) when there is a chance that their lives are in danger. 

“You’re here to protect me, anyways, Kunikida-kun!” Dazai remembers telling his partner to which he received another earful. It might have come off as a joke to Kunikida, but Dazai has been serious with it. He cannot put up with a fist fight and would inevitably succumb to someone far stronger, that’s why he mostly relies on Kunikida for such tasks. It’s primarily the reason they’re partners – to cover for each other’s weaknesses and support their strengths. 

A groan escapes from his throat as he tries his hardest to get up from the comfortable floor. Maybe he should just sleep here for the rest of the day. Kunikida won’t bother picking him up here as he will surely be busy dealing with the empty threat of that drug dealer whose name he can’t be bothered to remember. 

Just after he turns his body to his side, a familiar clank of metal resounds inside the room and his instincts quickly raise his legs up.

However, it comes to him a bit late that the clank of metal is from a can of sleeping gas, indiscriminately spreading the slightly colorless haze all over the unit and into Dazai’s lungs. He attempts to alleviate the effect by covering his mouth and nose, but it seems to be one of the stronger types aimed to incapacitate half a battalion. Dazai’s lips quivered to a small smirk at the realization that he’s the poor victim for the nameless bastard’s revenge. With the ground slipping beneath him as his throat tightens, he thinks that this isn’t such a bad way to go. Quite ironic for him to not take the threat seriously and get what he deserves for it. 

With the final threads of consciousness, he partially wishes that Kunikida will truly protect him, though the thought slips away completely as he blacks out. 

__________

Dazai is late. 

Usually, Kunikida will just shake that fact off and continue on working. That scoundrel has an absolute zero semblance of sense of responsibility. However, a gnawing feeling growing inside his chest pushes him otherwise. The longer he sees Dazai’s desk empty, the stronger his worry grows, threatening to swallow him whole. 

He left the bastard without even preparing the breakfast he promised him the other night. Who wouldn’t lose their patience around that maelstrom anyways? But it still puts Kunikida in different kinds of dilemmas. 

First off, they received a literal death threat aimed at the members. Who exactly, they are unaware, but Ranpo had advised that it can be anyone vulnerable. So far, everyone is here except Dazai. 

Second, he tried to contact him and he was only sent back to voicemail, meaning either Dazai is purposely ignoring him, or he left his phone somewhere unattended. 

Third, Dazai’s continued absence stirs the same concern over the others. Kunikida cannot even provide a valid explanation, even though he’s roommates with the man. 

Unable to mope any longer, Kunikida abruptly stands up from his seat, gathering the attention of everyone as if his movement is anticipated. 

“I’m going back to the dorm to check on Dazai,” he announces as Atsushi follows him. 

“Can I come with you, Kunikida-san? We can’t go out alone, especially with that threat,” Atsushi gestures vaguely, his eyes narrowed with concern. 

Kunikida nods and as if on cue, he pumps his legs to run, prompting Atsushi to do the same. When they reach their dorm, Kunikida’s heart jumps up to his throat, as traces of fumes hover in the air around their shared room. It isn’t enough to stir concern from their neighbors, but considering their line of work and the experiences that come with it, every small, seemingly insignificant detail matters. 

With Atsushi, they discover their shared unit filled with traces of sleeping gas without Dazai in it. His phone left on his futon, Kunikida’s blood runs cold, his fists trembling. 

“D-did Dazai-san…?” Atsushi voices his fear, as the two of them soundlessly agree to hurry back to the Agency. 

It’s as Kunikida feared – the threat is serious and Dazai happens to be the one captured. The drug dealer named Miyamoto Heiji threatened to kill one of them as revenge. If that criminal bothered to abduct Dazai as he just did, there’s a greater chance that his partner is still alive. Doing this slows the process which means Miyamoto has plans to torture him. 

Under their investigation, Miyamoto has not murdered anybody (yet, Kunikida dreadfully adds) during his career as a filthy drug dealer. He’s well-known for putting those who snitch up on his business into slow torture of letting them bleed to near-death, and if they survive, one of his goons will finish it for him. One survivor became their witness and client which practically brought the drug dealer down along his rising drug business. 

Kunikida can’t trust that detail, however, as it’s Dazai’s life on the line. Every single second matters, and the current priority here is tracing wherever his partner is hidden. 

“You’re here to protect me, anyways, Kunikida-kun!” 

Kunikida feels his heart clench as Dazai’s voice echoes inside his head ceaselessly. If only he didn’t leave Dazai alone, or if only he dragged him to work with him, nothing like this would have happened. Thoughts of regret flood his mind as he struggles to keep focused on what he has to do. 

Kunikida only spares Atsushi a nod, as the two of them approach Ranpo, with the rest of the Agency gathering around. 

__________

When Dazai wakes up groggy and in a very uncomfortable state which all indicates that he’s still alive, he frowns. Feeling like his head is filled with thick layers of dense cotton, his mouth dry and stomach clawing from the inside, he attempts to assess his situation and see how he can escape. 

He is greeted with darkness, and it has taken his vision long to adjust in the dark. He also sees that he’s tied onto a chair, his hands behind him with his legs also secured. He smells the surroundings which he quickly regrets doing as his throat is filled with the musky smell of moist soil and dried fungi. Dazai thinks that he is probably confined underground, considering the delightful humid temperature and a pathetic attempt for ventilation with the use of two noisy fans – all inciting sticky sweat all over his body. 

After a few minutes, he hears a sound of something heavy being pushed from above the room he’s confined in. In seconds, small beams of light seep from the above, as someone enters from the gap. A faint lightbulb is turned on, making Dazai flinch slightly as his captor reveals himself. 

“You’re awake,” there’s a slight hint of surprise from the strained voice of the bulky man roughly the same height as Fukuzawa. It’s still a significant difference when Dazai decides to fight him off. There is a very low chance of winning unless he sees a gun somewhere and shoots the man point blank. 

As he moves, Dazai observes how the man would always clench his fists twice or thrice like a tick. Wearing a simple set of casual clothes including a black shirt, a pair of khaki pants, and quite an attention-seeking handmade braided bracelet, he doesn’t seem threatening at first glance. 

Dazai will usually say a snide remark, but something in those blank eyes which almost reflects his own keeps his words to himself. This man wants to kill him today, sensing a brooding bloodlust all over the man’s gestures. He instead stares blankly, blocking every muscle from his face to express any reactions. 

“Though, as you may well know, that won’t last long,” the other man’s eyes glint as he pulls out a military knife from his back. Dazai feels his heart slowing down, the killing intent slipping through him as well. Years of exposure to countless situations of this kind drilled only one course of action into his brain – kill them before they do you. 

Mind whirring, he pulls out a thin blade hidden from within the thick layer of bandages around his arm and starts to silently rip the rope in rhythm with his breathing. A mirthless smile forms from his lips as he dips his head down slightly, his brown eyes losing the playful luster. “I should actually say that to you, Miyamoto Heiji,” the name rolling off his tongue as if a muscle memory was enacting, he raises his head, meeting the slightly perturbed gaze of his captor; the recent confidence slipping for a moment after seeing Dazai’s brand of gaze usually reserved for victims of his tortures years ago. 

Heiji scrambles to get his bearings back, realizing he captured the wrong person. Not his fault for his lack of information and bursts of emotions. Humans are built like that – a natural instinct of either a fight or flight when cornered. Dazai watches in amusement. 

“Still putting up a fight under that condition?!” The man stomps towards him and lands a solid blow against his temple, the force knocking the chair down with him. He hears his ears ring, his vision swimming, but he releases a chuckle nevertheless. Dazai is gifted with a punch straight into his gut and blacks out for a few seconds for the sudden lack of air. He can give it to him – Heiji is strong and can indeed beat him up to death. 

An outcome which Dazai finds a few qualms with, as a painful death isn’t really his style. 

The man grips his hair and raises his head, forcing him to look at his pitiful face to which Dazai grimaces at. “You destroyed the life I tirelessly built for all those years!” Heiji tugs at his hair, the pain never registering on his brain. 

There are tears of fury flooding the other man’s eyes but Dazai cannot bring himself to sympathize. “I lost my family because of you! Your Agency should also know how it feels to lose someone,” as if a switch flipped from Heiji, he grips Dazai’s neck this time which brings the chair upright, as he suppresses a choking sound. 

“I have nothing to lose anymore; on the other hand –” Heiji leans in towards Dazai and thrusts the tip of the knife into his abdomen; specifically in the right spot wherein he’ll bleed rather slowly while the pain gradually worsens if left unattended. The man intentionally doesn’t push in deeper, determined to let Dazai feel how he will slowly weaken. “They’ll lose you,” Heiji whispers in his ear, his hot breath clinging uncomfortably against his skin. 

As if he’s someone important to the Agency, Dazai’s brain helpfully supplies. Even if he dies, Ranpo can easily fill his role of scheming, or even Kunikida. In fact, it’s a lot better for the Agency to lose him so they won’t be burdened by his cursed existence. Atsushi can now decide for himself as well as guide Kyouka along. If he is gone, he’ll finally be freed from the prison of life. 

“If I were you, I would have slit my throat quickly to get this over with,” Dazai speaks in a bored tone, the rope around his wrists breaking behind him as he feels them loosen slightly. There’s still one knot keeping it altogether while he has little time. He has to get them out as soon as he can. 

And kill this man before he can kill him.

The man’s eyes widen and in his shock, he pushes the knife forward, a faint groan escaping from Dazai – a slight slip up which brought hope to the man. He glances at the knife, before Heiji pulls it out, a gush of his blood seeping through the deep wound. Dazai catches a look of madness from the man – he’s out of it and intends to kill him right then and there. 

“Dazai!”

In a split second, Heiji clutches his neck with a forceful hand as he lunges forward with another stab, hitting the base of his collarbone.That one hurt as a scream tears his throat, forcing him to cough out blood. It isn’t a response he wanted Kunikida to hear, but it’ll do, as it significantly lowered the other man’s guard, looking behind him with crazed, widened eyes. The gap above is forced open, and while he still has strength, Dazai rips the final knot, throwing a punch right at Heiji’s jaw, toppling his balance. It quickly catches Kunikida’s attention as a stun gun materializes out of his notebook, shooting the attacker and shocking him unconscious. 

“Dazai-san!” Atsushi is with Kunikida as he recognizes his voice, the two of them running towards him, his legs still tied on his collapsed chair. He can’t even raise himself up anymore while he tries to keep awake, until Kunikida’s mop of gold enters his vision and allows himself to succumb to the darkness. 

__________

With little regard to traffic rules, Kunikida speeds up heading to Mutsuuracho, specifically in the coordinates given by Ranpo. It’s located southwest of the city and is mainly filled with forage, some private villas, and a cultural cemetery. He isn’t certain if this guy is dumb or is fairly smart for him to construct a low-cost underground shelter in the middle of the city. With the amount of information they already have, finding this specific location came like a breeze. 

Although, the ever-growing heated fury keeps rising into Kunikida’s throat and the feeling borders on being dangerous. He’s beyond agitated, his hands trembling with his ears dominated by the loudness of his heartbeat. Images of Dazai in a state he refuses to further elaborate keep on flooding Kunikida’s mind as every second comes. 

This isn’t the first time this happened in the span of more than two years of working together. Dazai knows how to fight, and his confidence flares up even more when they’re to face off with an ability user. He can defend himself, he’s not some sort of a wimp. 

He wouldn’t have survived this far considering Dazai’s been in the Mafia long ago. 

Kunikida helplessly conditions his mind that he’s going to find Dazai along with the suspect – alive. It's inevitable, he will make sure of that. 

“You’re here to protect me, anyways, Kunikida-kun!” 

If for Dazai, those words were merely lighthearted jabs but for Kunikida, it meant so much , that whenever he attempts to put a label into it, he feels overwhelmed with mixtures of conflicting emotions only ever triggered by that scoundrel. He views it as a semblance of trust from Dazai towards him and that fact itself keeps him sane. 

Trust is vital for a team to work. It’s only proper to hold the word to such lengths. 

Because of Dazai’s trust, Kunikida will not fail him – he’ll do whatever it takes to protect him, whether it be from other people or himself. 

“Dazai-san is alright,” Kunikida snaps his head towards Atsushi beside him, whose eyes widen after realizing what he said out loud. The younger raises his shoulders, as if reading something from within Kunikida during the brief moment he looked eye-to-eye with the kid. 

Kunikida finds himself gradually relaxing. At first, he didn’t understand Dazai’s fondness towards this kid, but as the time went on, Atsushi has gotten into his soft spot as well, painfully reminding him of himself at some points. “Of course, he is. That moron always gets away with anything,” Kunikida says without any bite, prompting a small smile from Atsushi. 

As Kunikida and Atsushi scurry around the forage, they find a tall lump of soil at around seven feet tall. It’s one of the possible indicators of the underground hideout which Ranpo deduced earlier. With a fiery burst from his chest, Kunikida runs towards it, yelling Dazai’s name. He doesn’t take into account that he’ll immediately receive a reply through a muffled scream which surely came from his partner. 

It doesn’t sound nice at one bit. In fact, it only blurred Kunikida’s vision, his brain clicking into autopilot. He kicks the contraption in an instant, lifts off the heavy circular steel cover hidden under the pile of leaves and jumps into the hole. 

Once he’s in, everything goes in a blur – a man collapses, his back on Kunikida and in front of him, he catches the familiar maroon glint of Dazai’s eyes, prompting him to summon a stun gun from his notebook. He shoots the falling man, effectively incapacitating him as Atsushi joins in the hole. 

“Dazai-san!” Kunikida hears Atsushi scream out, but he’s already moving forward and towards Dazai, who has toppled sideways along the chair his legs are still strapped in. 

“Oi! Dazai!” Kunikida doesn’t know which to check first, his hands hovering on his partner’s unmoving body. It’s dim with only the barest light from the entrance and the worn out bulb, but he can clearly see the blood all over Dazai. 

A faint movement of an arm which Kunikida catches on quickly brings him back to focus with his heart hammering inside his chest. He unties the rope around Dazai’s ankles and barks an order at Atsushi regarding the fallen suspect behind him. Despite the blood, he appears alive as the unsteady rhythm of his breathing indicates. With his arm supporting Dazai’s back, Kunikida rips his own vest and sleeves and uses the cloth to wrap his partner’s wounds with it before transporting him to the hospital. Preventing further blood loss is his priority as of now and everything comes second. 

Dazai coughs, and to Kunikida it feels like a gunshot as he pauses to look at his partner, who is cracking a hint of one of his smiles. “Kunikida-kun,” Dazai tries to say, only to be cut off by another bloody cough. 

“Oi, stop trying to speak!” Kunikida presses on the wound on his lower abdomen. This has been one of the most dangerous injuries he’s seen Dazai with during their missions as they usually encounter light gunshot grazes or bruises from punches and kicks. Stabs or large cuts come rarely because they’re easily avoidable. This time, though, Dazai had no chance to dodge, but he could have fought back considering that he released his hands a moment ago by himself. 

“Thanks for…” Kunikida snaps his head towards Dazai, whose eyes shone brightly despite the low light above his equally brilliant smile. He shouldn’t be making Kunikida feel more conflicted than he already is. He’s never been this scared his entire life. 

For a moment, when there’s barely any movement from Dazai, the thought of losing him created a whirlwind of chaos inside him, the heaviness of it all twisting his heart in ways he hasn’t felt before. 

With a hitch in his breath he says, “I said, st–” 

“... protecting me.” 

Kunikida blanks out, as a high frequency ringing assaults his ears, muting everything around him as he holds Dazai’s recently outstretched hand which now hangs loosely in his grip. Dazai never failed to throw him off, and he’s been doing it more successfully recently. It may have something to do with how much he’s seen his partner change into someone more purposeful ever since Atsushi’s arrival. This subtle change is enough to tap on the hidden corners of Kunikida’s heart, with Dazai’s more frequent genuine smiles. 

He shall maintain that little joy and let it grow into something more. It isn’t his responsibility at all, but it’s Dazai – the man somehow stirs a part of Kunikida which longs for freedom and a purpose far bigger than himself. 

He cannot let his partner die. 

Dazai did not ask for this, no one pushed him into doing a crusade of keeping his work partner alive and taken care of, but if Kunikida doesn’t, he’s afraid that nobody else will; not even Dazai himself, who’s more than willing to end living. 

Kunikida finds himself in a rush, as the ambulance he called comes. Dazai is taken first, with Kunikida following suit. Atsushi stays with the suspect who is barely injured and waits for the police to come. 

Before he parts with Atsushi, the kid grips his arm, a desperate plea gleaming in his eyes. Kunikida promptly holds his hand, “He’s going to be fine,” he assures Atsushi.

It doesn’t take long for Kunikida to realize that he’s mostly saying it to himself. 

__________

When Dazai wakes up the second time, there’s nothing else he feels but numbness. He initially thought that perhaps, he finally died and this is the feeling of death, but his sense of smell quickly knocked that thought off. As he takes an inhale, he gathers the sharp scent of antiseptic all over him – lucid indicators that he’s in the hospital. 

So he survived; melancholic, he thinks. Most of the short time he spent captive, all he had in his thoughts were murder. Violent retaliation. It’s to kill or be killed – a reflex that’s been hammered too deeply in him which he hasn’t overcome until now. That instinct has been patched up temporarily during his time at ADA because he wasn’t alone most of the time, and their job was to save people and investigate cold cases. Very rarely do they come across a direct threat to their lives. 

This time, he has come close with another homicide, and it was almost by his already bloodstained hands. 

Dazai wills himself to open his eyes to fill one of his senses again. To his faint surprise – with his heart leaping in what he can identify as joy – he sees Kunikida asleep on his right side beside his leg, his head cradled by his arms. There’s a tranquil look on his usually contorted with a frown face, and Dazai can’t help but to smile at the sight. Dazai is urged to ruffle Kunikida’s straw blonde hair, though he can’t reach him from his position. When he tries a little harder, he feels the kick of his wounds, the anesthetics wearing out. 

He can only pout, and settles on staring at Kunikida’s peaceful sleeping face. 

If Kunikida didn’t find him in time, Dazai would have undoubtedly slit the suspect’s throat and broken his pact to himself. He would have gone back to the darkness and into the life of murder, and everything he had up to that point must be taken away from him. 

Kunikida saved him not from the man who held him captive and attempted to kill him, but from himself. It’s something which he owes Kunikida and adds into the growing pile of debt from his partner. Really, whenever he needs it, Kunikida happens to know what to do, what to say, and how to handle things he doesn’t admit out loud he cannot do. 

Almost like a guardian angel, Dazai smiles wistfully. 

Dazai selfishly burdens Kunikida with his existence when he can just go on with life according to the Ideals he religiously follows but no, Kunikida stubbornly and ironically breaks from his own safety bubble and does all of this. He readily drops everything, just to do whatever he can for someone he deems needy. A terrible case of hero complex, Dazai assesses, but it’s also a trait he knows he shouldn’t try to change. It makes Kunikida, Kunikida, and any attempt of doing otherwise just distorts the very essence of what makes him a person. 

It’s both admirable and concerning – he’s the kind of person who can abandon a lifelong goal for someone’s life in a blink. 

As much as he likes to think otherwise, Kunikida resembles Odasaku in too many ways which terrifies Dazai. 

With the stark resemblance, Dazai’s brain unhelpfully conjures scenarios wherein Kunikida will be faced with the same situation as with Odasaku in the past, repeating the cycle of needless deaths. He knows it’s irrational to think this way, but the fear of losing someone important to him clouds reason. 

Dazai clenches a fist, reflecting on his thoughts. Kunikida has become a person who he will protect and fight for; share his own inconveniences and insignificant parts of himself. With Kunikida, he can take off the mask and show what lies beneath it. He never thought he’d meet someone like him after Odasaku, but apparently, life still has so much in store for him. Through the path which his late friend opened up, he met more friends. 

Usually, it would have been enough reason to live. But the more Dazai gets attached to people and things, the more he buries himself in the void, the hollowness he feels in his chest never quite accepts how his experiences fill it. Inevitably, whenever he gets too close, something he cherishes will be taken away from him; crumble when he touches them; burn whenever he approaches. 

Dazai doesn’t deserve this – he doesn’t deserve kindness from Kunikida, and everyone from the Agency. He doesn’t deserve the safety they provide, the home they give. 

He doesn’t deserve to live. 

Someone better like Odasaku should have gotten this life, instead of him who can easily take away the chance of someone to live. 

It dawns on him that his sight has blurred and his eyes filled with hot tears. He doesn’t know when he started crying, but he just did, and it woke Kunikida up. He can’t even raise his arms to wipe his tears away, and helplessly chokes on a sob. 

Whispering silent nothings, Kunikida abruptly stands from his seat with a jolt and places a hand on his head. “You’re safe now, Dazai,” Kunikida’s voice falters, with Dazai biting his lip until he draws blood. 

Seeing Dazai breaking down into fits of sobs doesn’t come first into the list of how Kunikida expected him to wake up. Myriad of questions storm his brain – was he scared back then? It’s quite impossible, Dazai doesn’t falter with threats towards his life. Why is he crying? Did he think no one would come for him? But Dazai always knows everything, he would have thought that someone from the Agency would notice his absence. Why is he crying? Is he in pain? Perhaps, Kunikida should call for a nurse and –

“Kunikida-kun…” Dazai raises his head to look at him, as Kunikida’s hand freezes. “Am I ruining your life?”

“What–” made you think of that? – Kunikida wants to say, but stops before he can continue. The desperate gleam he sees through Dazai’s eyes shoots a thought that if he doesn’t answer truthfully, he may end up losing Dazai forever. 

The storm in Kunikida’s mind dissipates, replaced with a calm breeze as he looks at his partner. “No, you’re not. You ruin my schedules perfectly, but you never ruin my life, Dazai,” he never will, Kunikida thinks, and he hopes the message comes across. “You…” Dazai’s eyes keep their luster, though with an ember threatening to die out any moment. He looks lost, and it breaks Kunikida seeing him like that. 

“... are a part of my life,” Kunikida reaches for Dazai’s hand, sharing his warmth over his coldness. “I don’t care how much you bother me as long as you’ll…” Kunikida pauses. He’s never said all of these to Dazai out loud, nor written these thoughts on his Ideal. These stay in the concealed corners of his heart, and now that he spilled it over, he cannot pull back. Kunikida will stand by what he says. 

“As long as you’ll live. You’re my partner, Dazai,” I care too much about you, he wants to say instead, but he’s left a lot in the air anyway that his meaning is as clear as day to someone as smart as Dazai. He can laugh at it, mock him for being so sappy or whatnot, but Kunikida is the honest one between them. He will have to do what Dazai cannot and keep trying to reach a ground they’ll both be comfortable in. 

The dimming gleam in his eyes dazzles for a single second, catching Kunikida breathless. The unbridled joy he witnessed from Dazai after mere words of assurance bloomed a tickling warmth in his chest. 

Dazai cracks a sweet smile, something that makes his heart pound, resonating like a timpani. “I only asked a question, Kunikida-kun, not a confession.” 

Blood rushes into his cheeks, as Kunikida furrows his brows and frowns at Dazai, shaking off his hold of his hand. “Bastard, I’ll–” 

Dazai cuts him off with a heartful chuckle, further driving Kunikida to the edge. “I think so too, Kunikida-kun,” the blonde raises a brow, “You’re also a part of my life.” 

There’s a brush of pink across Dazai’s pale cheeks, and for that moment, Kunikida sees his partner in a new light. 

It scares Kunikida to dissect whatever newfound emotions lurking within him towards Dazai, but he’ll owe it up. Being a part of Dazai’s checkered life is something he can easily merge into his ideals. The smile on his partner’s face is enough to confirm that yes , he’ll do everything he can to pave a path wherein Dazai and everyone he cares about can walk through happily. 

“It means I’ll be stuck with you for as long as possible,” Dazai says with a childish lilt, noticing how Kunikida kept silent for a moment. 

Kunikida huffs, finding within him the urge to ruffle Dazai’s unkempt hair which is surprisingly soft to touch. He takes a mental note of it. “Then get better soon, we’ll have mountains of paperworks to deal with,” he feels his ears and cheeks burn, but it’s too late to do anything about it. Kunikida crosses his arms and goes back to his seat, pulling out his notebook to look at somewhere else rather than be flustered like a schoolgirl when he looks at Dazai. 

“Aww!” Dazai drawls annoyingly, and Kunikida imagines a pout from him, “Kunikida-kun’s so cruel! He’ll give his fatally wounded partner a load of work already!” Kunikida makes the mistake of glancing at Dazai, whose mischievous grin threatens to tear his face. 

Kunikida grits his teeth before he eases the tension in his muscles. Getting worked up will only fuel Dazai into further annoying him. “It comes with a payment,” he hears Dazai shuffle, as he turns to him with a stern face, “I’ll cook the porridge you asked for the other night.” 

__________

Atsushi feels something strange in the air. 

Objectively, there’s nothing that changed – a noisy office courtesy of Dazai and Kunikida’s bickering, sounds of crackers being munched on by Ranpo, steady, rhythmic typings from Tanizaki, Kenji, and Kyouka. It seems that whatever bizarre air they’re breathing right now is something which Atsushi just made up with his ever-anxious mind. 

But really, after Dazai-san’s abduction and a high-five with death, Atsushi’s tiger senses are tickled with some sort of energy between Kunikida-san and Dazai-san. 

They’re still boisterous as usual, Kunikida throwing things at Dazai while the latter complains for a violent workplace, but the way they look at each other sends shivers into his spine. There’s nothing remotely disgusting or uncomfortable with it, in fact, they seem genuinely happy. 

Not that Atsushi is unhappy his mentors are happy. 

It just feels like he missed something important regarding them, while the rest of the Agency just goes on with work unbothered. 

Atsushi considers consulting Ranpo-san by bribing him with snacks and sweets, but Dazai might get a whiff of it and pull him away from satisfying his curiosity. He figures he has to be more discreet about it and find a member who won’t throw him under the bus. 

Yosano-san comes to mind and Atsushi doesn’t hesitate to approach her. Once she asked for someone to accompany her, he subtly volunteered and waited until he could ask if Yosano felt the same. 

“Hmm? They’ve always been like that,” Yosano answers, but Atsushi isn’t quite convinced. He prods a little, describing what he sees. 

“They’re a little happier, I guess?” Atsushi articulately describes, to which he receives an amused smile. 

“Oh?” Yosano places a finger under her chin, as Atsushi comes closer to an answer. “Is this what Ranpo-san means?” 

Atsushi tilts his head, making a sound of confusion. 

Yosano turns to him with a carefree smile, patting him once on the head. “Those idiots are fine! They’re already grown-ups, and have probably learned a thing or two from each other. Don’t worry about it, Atsushi.”

Atsushi doesn’t worry, but he has questions unanswered. For the meantime, he settles on the thought that he should be happy for whatever transpired between his mentors. Them being happy extends the feeling to him, too.