Chapter Text
It had been a long time since Lucifer had last been called upon to play judge in a divorce case. Most divorces in hell were taken care of with guns or poison. Chaos always resulted from the deaths of powerful nobles. It was quite a pleasant change of pace when Stolas and his bitch wife decided to settle their differences in the courtroom rather than the battlefield.
That didn't mean everybody was happy. Stolas seemed quite upset, leaning over the defendant's table with hands clasped into fists.
“My Lord, my King Lucifer, the defendant would like to file a motion for you to reconsider your decision! According to the articles of nobility which you yourself have written, the Goetia estate is to be the property of King Paimon and his descendants in perpetuity! It would be a breach of that contract to grant it to one outside of that family line, noblewoman though Lady Stella remains, even without my titles.”
Lucifer tapped his chin for a moment, and said quite simply, "Hm, no."
"I stand by my previous decision. Octavia will remain in her mother's custody until her eighteenth birthday. She may visit her father on weekends. Upon turning eighteen, she may of course decide for herself what to do."
"As you reminded us, the Goetia estate was granted to King Paimon’s descendants, and so it shall remain the property of the Ars Goetia family. I give it to Stella with the understanding that upon her death, the estate and all connected properties will pass to your daughter and heir, Princess Octavia. In the meantime, it cannot be sold or otherwise disposed of, or excessively modified beyond the original blueprint. That means no painting a giant middle finger on the front wall. However, in the spirit of fairness, I declare the garden walls as fair game."
"Fair is fair, your majesty. I will not question your judgment." Stella shot a look at Stolas, just daring him to be the one to argue with Lucifer.
Stolas wanted to say a number of things, but most of them would get him thrown in a cell. He felt hopeless. The estate he had grown up on, the palace built by his father in the days after the Fall, when this ring was nothing but a barren desert with a few bands of hopeless sinners wandering the parched wastes. Paimon had taken empty sand and built something magnificent. The gardens stretched on for acres behind the palace, and Stolas had expanded them yet further. How would they fare without his careful nurturing touch?
He had no choice.
“I accept your decision.”
And so it was that Stolas lost the ancestral estate of the Ars Goetia.
Lucifer smiled. “Good. No bickering. The marriage squabbles end here, folks. Bury your hatchet, or don’t, I don’t care. How the two of you manage your personal lives is none of my affair. But I would prefer not to have to preside over another case involving the two of you, preferably ever, so I’ll leave you with a couple stipulations.”
"In the event that Lady Stella suffers an untimely death," Lucifer gave Stolas a pointed look, "I will personally execute you and your imp."
“Same goes for you, Lady Stella,” Lucifer turned to the smirking swan princess, who quickly changed to a frown, “I swear to my holy father above, that if I ever have to hear your shrill fucking voice as a defendant in a murder trial, I’m chopping your head off just on principle.”
“As I said,” Stella said through a clenched beak, “Fair is fair, your majesty.”
As soon as the trial had ended and the attending parties rose to leave, Octavia rushed from the family seats and hugged her father.
“Oh dad… I’m so sorry,” Octavia buried her head in his chest and choked down a sob. Stolas laid a hand on her back and stroked her hair comfortingly.
“You have nothing to be sorry about, my little starfire. None of this is your fault.”
“No, but… Where are you going to live now?”
Stolas paused mid-stroke. He hadn’t really thought about that. The Ars Goetia family owned a lot of properties, but the amount of houses… There had been a little cottage by the sea in the Envy ring, he recalled, where his father liked to go for vacations… A little 10-bedroom, 2-kitchen affair which didn’t even have a ballroom. It had been washed away one year in one of those massive hurricanes they had down there.
The hotel room was paid up for until tomorrow. He had anticipated being able to go home afterwards. He could stay there, but it would be a constant drain on his finances, and his fortune was somewhat less than it had once been; Money wasn’t tight just yet, but it was going to be.
“When the estate passes to me, I promise you can come back home. I promise.”
“And not a moment sooner,” Stella seemingly appeared out of nowhere, her voice cutting, “You won’t be seeing inside my house for a long, long time.”
Stolas sighed. The one positive of the divorce was that he wouldn’t have to deal with Stella’s ranting anymore. “I won’t question our king’s judgment, Stella. The estate belongs to you until the day you die.”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Is that a threat?” Stella hissed, her eyes narrowing.
“No, that’s what Lucifer decreed. If something should happen to you which King Lucifer deems suspicious, it’s Blitz and I who are first on the chopping block. Your life is perfectly safe, Stella. Perhaps I should hire some guards to watch over you, too. Wouldn’t want to be blamed if you slip in the shower.”
Stella’s beak twisted into an odd shape and she spent a minute trying to formulate a cohesive and diplomatic response. She settled on, “I want your shit OUT of my house by next week, or I’m burning the lot of it.”
“But you just said I’m forbidden from setting foot in your house,” Stolas pointed out mildly.
Stella looked on the verge of flying into a rage, but perhaps due to the presence of several of her peers and King Lucifer himself, she clenched her fists and swallowed the anger.
“I’ll have the servants pile it up on the lawn. I sincerely fucking hope it rains all over it.”
“I’ll keep your books dry, dad,” Octavia whispered, and Stolas squeezed her a little tighter.
—-----------------------------
Stolas drifted out of the courtroom. He just wanted to go home. Home, for now, was to be the hotel room he had been staying in for the duration of the divorce proceedings. He had some books, a few changes of clothes… Most everything was still at the house, and would need to be moved. He would have to arrange all that.
And where the hell would he go?
Stolas knew that everyone else knew that he was fuming inside, but he wasn’t going to let it show. The owl’s face was carefully neutral as he headed straight for the door. That is, until a pale white hand took him by the arm, and Lucifer spoke with a voice like melting butter and older than the world itself.
"I know you're angry, Stolas. That's natural. You feel I've done you a great wrong. I've taken your ancestral home, your estates, even your daughter. I understand. Truly. I've had a great many things taken from me. I just want you to understand I don't do this out of hatred or some perverted sense of poetic justice. No, I'm not my heavenly father. I just had mercy on you, my friend. I hope I can still count you among my friends."
Fuck you. “Of course, my king.”
"You initiated the affair. Even after being found out you refused to stop. As your wife repeatedly shouted at the court, you violated your marriage bed itself. That is a surprisingly major crime; I was surprised to see it still in the books. And, speaking of books," Lucifer lowered his voice to the barest of whispers, so quiet Stolas had to lean close to hear, "Yours has been seeing so much use lately."
Stolas froze. He felt like he had been turned into one of his own statues. The book… How could Lucifer know about the book? If Lucifer knew, then everything was over. Not just IMP, but he and Blitz would be lucky not to share the same execution. If not being handed off to Heaven for whatever punishments they could devise. God took a dim view toward demons meddling in his creation.
"Portal spells give off quite a lot of energy, you know. Anybody sufficiently attuned can detect it, and I’m not the only one. I would suggest, unless you want certain individuals snooping around your special little friend’s office building, that you use some of your remaining fortune to install magic-dampening sigils.”
“You- You know everything, don’t you?” Stolas sighed, deflated.
“I only know some things, and can guess the rest. I am so very good at filling in the blanks, if I do say so myself. Bit of a special talent o’ mine.”
“While there may be a little… Bending of the law, the truth of the matter is your friend’s company provides a unique service, one that I’d like to nurture in case it should prove useful to me in the future,” At Stolas’ expression, he smiled, which didn’t make the owl feel any better. There were too many teeth to count. “What daddy doesn’t know, won’t hurt ‘im, don’cha think?” Lucifer jerked a thumb upwards and laughed, “The jingle is quite catchy, too.”
“Does this mean you’ll turn a blind eye to our arrangement? No more hiding?”
“Of course not. If any of this becomes public, I’ll have to make an example out of you both. Which is why I would suggest using a little bit more discretion when using your book. People know they have a way to Earth, but they don’t know how they do it. Eventually, they’re bound to encounter some lonely sinner desperate to see his family, or an overlord hoping to make a play for the mortal realm, or some other such nonsense. I really don’t want to have to execute you, my friend, but if something like that happens, all the money in Hell couldn’t hush it up.”
“I still have plenty of money. Blitz doesn’t need IMP. If he wants, we can hire his little employees on as servants-”
“Stolas, my li’l prince, I am being so very patient with you. Your imps will not close up shop. I want them to continue their little trips upstairs. And if I ever find out about it, I’ll kill you all,” Lucifer grinned that maddening grin. Stolas felt like he was going mad as well, just listening to him.
“I… Have to go home, m’lord. So many… Things to do,” Stolas fumbled for a way to extract himself from this conversation without losing more than he already had.
“Just one more thing. Next time you’re in court, don’t defend yourself. It makes you look guilty as Hell, and then people expect me to lay down the law. It’s all so tiresome,” King Lucifer gave a mock-sigh and tipped his hat. “Don’t take any wooden nickels, Stolas.”
Stolas was too dazed to even wonder at the meaning of that. He stumbled out of the courthouse and into a waiting car. It wasn’t his. It belonged to the Goetia estate. Chances were, this would be the last time he ever rode in it. It was a nice one. His father had enjoyed nice cars and kept many deceased automobile pioneers on his staff. Every car in the collection was designed by them; Every one unique.
Stolas wasn't allowed to keep even one car.
Stolas dug his claws deep in the leather seat and raked them slowly across. The tearing sound was satisfying, if not overly productive.
“Sir,” He heard the driver, “As this vehicle is technically the property of your wife-”
Stolas sighed and cast a mending spell. The leather merged together without a sign it was ever torn. If only he could say the same about his life.
After seemingly endless traffic, they arrived, and the driver left to go return the car to the estate. It was the last he would see of either.
The hotel room was cold and gray in that trendy modern way. It was a far cry from the lavish bedroom Stolas had until recently occupied. There was a bathtub, at least, even though it was much smaller than Stolas’ old one and he had to curl his knees up to his chest to fit in. There was no bubble bath, so he emptied a couple tubes of the complimentary shampoo under the running water to make a facsimile of his favorite relaxation activity. His favorite relaxation activity not involving Blitz.
Fuck.
He had to call Blitz.
“Yo, Stolas! What’s up, big bird? Full moon’s not for another week!”
“It’s… Not about that, Blitz.” His use of the imp’s preferred name signaled his seriousness even more than his reserved tone. “I just got out of court. King Lucifer was there to finalize the divorce proceedings.”
“Oh… That was today? Fuck, man, I’m sorry. I should’ve been there.”
“No, no, your presence wouldn’t have changed anything. If anything, you and Stella would’ve ended up in a fistfight in the middle of the courtroom, and then I would be out both a wife and a lover,” Stolas sighed, “I should have known it would’ve ended this way from the day our parents first arranged our marriage.”
“Damn, Stols, I don’t even know what to say. Want me to come over tonight? We don’t have to fuck, we can just talk. We can watch Spirit or something, or, uh… Damn, I’m not good at this ‘comforting people’ shit.”
“Actually, Blitz, that’s sort of why I called. You see… I lost the house.”
“The- You lost the house?!”
“Lucifer awarded it to Stella. I suppose as punishment for my philandering. When she dies, it’ll pass to Octavia.”
“Well, sounds like we’ve got a job to do! M&M, get in here!” Stolas heard the sound of several guns being loaded and cocked, and his eyes went wide as he quickly dissuaded the imps.
“No, no! If Stella dies before her time, Lucifer will have *both* our heads!”
“Fuck!” Stolas heard Blitz kicking something over, followed by a muffled shout of pain. It sounded like the littler one, Boxxie or Roxxie or something like that.
“Blitz, I… I hate to be a bother. It’s just- I don’t have anywhere else to go.”
The line went silent for a long moment and Stolas began to fear that Blitz had hung up.
“You’re free to crash at my place for as long as you need,” Blitz said finally, with a hint of resignation that made Stolas feel even more guilty. Who was he to impose, when Blitz had already given him so much? He didn’t want him to feel like he was taking advantage. “We don’t have a whole lot of space, so if you’ve got a lot of shit to bring over…”
“Most of the contents of the mansion are considered part of the estate and will be staying with Stella. I have a surprisingly small amount of personal property. Some books, a few clothes, my orrery and my armillary sphere… Although, the sphere is affixed to the ceiling of the grand dining hall, so I suppose I’ll have to leave it behind. Then again, Stella did say she’d be leaving all my belongings on the lawn, so…”
“That fuckin’ bitch. You want me and Loona to head over there tomorrow, get everything before it rains?”
“Oh, no, I couldn’t impose…”
“Fuck it, if we’re gonna be living together, I’ll help you move too. We have a van. Plus Loona loves helping other people. Don’t you, my little loonie-toonie?”
“What the fuck did I tell you about volunteering me for shit, asshole?” Loona’s voice was heard faintly on the other end.
“Stolas is getting kicked out of his house, so he’s moving in with us. We’re gonna help him get all his stuff back from his crazy bitch of an ex-wife.”
“Ugh, fine. But I am NOT giving up my room to you horny creeps. I swear to Satan I’ll blow your brains out if you even try.”
“Of course not, Loonie! He’ll be sleeping in, uh…” Blitz trailed off, “Hey Loonie? How much dya think a bed costs?”
“Like a thousand souls or some crazy shit like that. And no, you can’t borrow mine.”
“Alright, new plan! Loonie, you and me go for a little drive downtown tonight and look for one. People are always leaving those things out on the curb.”
“Yeah, because people hide dead bodies in ‘em!”
“That’s what febreeze is for!”
“You’re so gross!”
“Actually,” Stolas said, “I’m perfectly comfortable sharing a bed with you, Blitz. Of course if you prefer I can sleep perfectly well on the couch. I’ve done it many times with Stella, it’s really quite alright.” It actually wasn’t, as the aches and pains of his back could attest.
Blitz was heard to sigh, and Stolas wondered what was wrong. “We… We can discuss the sleeping situation when you get here.”
“Not to worry, I’ve still got my hotel room for tonight. I’m sorry for all of this, Blitz.”
“Yeah… Yeah, Stolas, me too. I didn’t mean to wreck your marriage.”
“My marriage was in ruins long before you came into the picture, Blitz. Let’s not talk about this now. Tell me about your day? I just want to get my mind off this.”
“Well, uh, we killed some overly-handsy Boy Scout leader. Stalked him through the woods for a few hours, making freaky noises, let him catch a glimpse or two of Loona… Dumb asshole thought he was being stalked by werewolves. You should’ve seen him. Pants soaked in piss. Got down on his knees and started praying to God. Loona comes charging up out of the bushes, and I swear on Belial's ballsack, he died of a heart attack before she even touched him. Of course, she ripped him up pretty good after, so it’s hard to tell exactly what he died from.”
“I see… And I take it he quite deserved it?”
“Well, the client was one of the kids he buried out in the woods.”
“Ah. That would explain it. I suppose I should put out an APB.”
An APB, or Asshole Pedo Bulletin, is issued when pedophiles go to Hell. Hunting them is considered a national sport. They are particularly prized for their meat.
“Yeah, you do that. Or we could go at it ourselves. See that dumb asshole’s face when he sees Loona for the second time.”
Blitz laughed and Stolas did too, for the first time in a while. The conversation drifted from there and eventually, far too soon, it was over.
“Goodnight, Blitz, and… Thank you. For everything.”
“Don’t mention it, Stolas.”
With that, Blitz ended the call. Stolas stared at the screen for a long time before setting it down beside the tub. What a disaster.
—--------
Stolas didn’t sleep much. Blitz and Loona came in the van, full of garbage and empty beer cans. They had at least taken care to empty out the back, so there was plenty of room for his things.
Stella hadn’t been lying. When they arrived at the estate, a haggard-looking guard opened the gate for them. The entire staff had been enlisted in stripping the estate of anything that could remotely be described as Stolas’s. The owl’s heart sank as he saw an enormous heap of half-wilted plants. Every one of his exotic plants, especially the carnivorous ones Stella had never approved of and thought made the garden smell of fried meat. The pile reached higher than the greenhouse, which, he noticed with disappointment, had most of the windows broken and the shelves of hothouse plants emptied.
It hadn’t rained, but Octavia had placed a shielding spell over Stolas’ books nonetheless, perhaps as much to protect them in case her mother decided to have a bonfire after all.
As it turned out, Stella wasn’t there, so Stolas decided to take one last walk through the home he had known all his life.
Stolas drifted from room to room like a restless ghost. The drawing room where he had passed so many nights with a book and a cup of tea. The observatory, with its telescope more powerful than anything devised by man. He peered through the lens and realized the lens was dusty. He hadn’t been up here in months, had he? Other things had gotten in the way. Reaching out with his magic, he levitated a dustcloth to the lens and rubbed until the image became clear. Then he took an oil can and greased every joint, wheel and cog until they were dripping. Finally, he pulled a large sheet over it to keep the dust off. He knew that Stella would never use it.
Perhaps it would still be in working condition when Octavia inherited the place, however many centuries away that would be. Stella wasn’t royalty, but a demoness of her bloodline could live for a very long time.
The door creaked open behind him and he spun around, fearing to see Stella with murderous rage at having ‘her’ home intruded. But it was only Blitz.
“Loonie and I have loaded up all your books and magical knickknacks. We’re going to need your help manhandling that fancy dresser of yours on top of the van, though.”
“Thank you for taking care of my grimoires and artifacts, Blitzy,” Stolas cooed, leaning down to stroke the imp on the cheek, “Let’s go levitate that armoire.”
Blitz groaned and followed as Stolas strode from the room, racing to keep up with his long-legged paramour. Stolas kept his eyes down until he was out the front door. In truth, he would’ve taken any excuse to get out of there.
Loona was laying in the front seat, nursing an aching back after trying to help Blitz lift the massive armoire. Stolas went over to the pile of dying plants and dug around a bit, eventually bringing back some little blue seed pods, which he offered to Loona. “Hyrsk seeds. A natural painkiller, native to the lust ring.”
Loona swallowed them and chased them down with a swig of a fine wine she had ‘liberated’ from the estate’s extensive wine cellar. The vintage was 1794. An excellent year for Hell wines, since so many great French vintners had been given the guillotine the previous summer.
Almost instantly, Loona perked up. She seemed surprised, straightening out in her seat as the pain in her spine faded. “Huh. It actually worked. I expected it to be some herbal medicine bullshit.”
“Herbology is a passion of mine,” Stolas gestured toward the slowly wilting pile of organic matter, “This represents a thousand years of careful cultivation.”
“Are they all dead?”
“Most of them, I’d think. Perhaps some of the hardier ones will live till tomorrow. The willowmantis might survive a few weeks by eating the dead, but even it needs water sometime. They’ll all be gone.”
“Well, go get it. We can put it in a planter or some shit.”
“Ah, I don’t think you quite understand. This isn’t the sort of plant that just sits around and waits to be watered. Willowmanti, as they are known in plural, are one of the more common species of carnivorous plant. They need a steady diet of fresh meat to survive, and when mealtime is missed they can get quite… Disagreeable. Which is why until now I’ve been the only one to feed them. Octavia told me a maid tried feeding it and almost lost a hand for her trouble, the poor girl.”
“Put it in a cage, then. We’ve still got a pretty big dog cage leftover from one of our missions.”
“How big is it?”
“About…” Loona spread her arms to the fullest, “One cheating husband and five hungry wolverines wide.”
Stolas’ eyes widened. “Well, perhaps the bloodstains will help revitalize him.”
Stolas left and returned with what appeared to be a very large green wig mounted on a stick. The willowmantis was related to the common Earth willow tree, only being much shorter, about the size of a shrub, and more mobile and carnivorous. The roots moved on their own, twisting and curling feebly in the air as flecks of dried dirt fell off them. Amidst the roots was a small mouth filled with needle-thin teeth. It snapped feebly; Stolas held it away from himself.
“He’s starving - I must have overestimated his endurance. I don’t think he’d have survived another night.”
Loona fished a half-empty bag of beast jerky out of the glovebox, and Stolas hand-fed his pet plant all the ride home.
—--------
Stolas knew, of course, the place would be a dump. Blitz had told him so many times, and Stolas always felt slightly embarrassed when he invited him over simply due to the gap which he knew existed between their lifestyles.
He hadn’t expected Blitz and his daughter to be sharing a one-bedroom studio apartment, one which he would now have to cram himself into as well. The whole place was actually slightly smaller than his old bedroom. With the three of them standing around, the place felt positively cramped.
Moving in his belongings was a game of Tetris. Blitz had a small bookshelf covered in horses, but Stolas was unwilling to commandeer it, so the books ended up stacked in piles around the TV, with a few all-powerful magical artifacts stacked on top or stuffed into the broom closet. Loona even sacrificed a little of her precious closet space for Stolas’ precious heirloom sword, on the grounds that having a sword in the closet was ‘pretty badass’.
Stolas now understood what Blitz had meant by the sleeping situation. Loona had the bedroom, which left Blitz on the couch. Stolas was touched by the sacrifices Blitz had made for his daughter. Still, this did present a practical problem, one Stolas was able to solve with a little creative geometry. Pulling the oblong coffee table at an oblique angle to the couch, Stolas created a little L-shaped bed. It was almost long enough, though his feet stuck off the end, while Blitz still had most of the couch.
All this time he’d been feeling uncomfortable. He was certain he could see it in Blitz’s eyes too. Shame, mutual embarrassment. Blitz had seen how the prince had lived, and he could offer him nothing but a shitty apartment without a proper bed. He of course wouldn’t dare to ask Loona for hers. Blitz would never hear of it, and Loona would never agree.
In fact, she made sure Stolas was aware she kept a shotgun rigged to her door at all times when she wasn’t there, to prevent Blitz snooping. Blitz had laughed and said she loaded it with beanbag rounds. He knew from the last time. Loona had then laughed even harder and informed him it was buckshot now, asshole. She also let Stolas know how easily she could get ahold of angelic buckshot, a warning which would normally warrant a one-way ticket to the estate’s extensive statue garden, but he let pass with a nod and agreement. He was a guest, after all, and couldn’t go around turning his new roommates to stone.
They ordered pizza for dinner. It wasn’t the first time Stolas had pizza, of course. The food had been quite popular in Hell for as long as it had been popular on Earth, brought down to Hell, as all things were, by the most sinful pizza chefs. He had even nibbled on a slice covered in gold leaf at one of Marquis Gamigin’s garden parties. This pizza was mostly grease, cheese, and slices of unidentifiable meat. It was supposedly quite good; Stolas could see Blitz and Loona digging into theirs, and he tried to feign the same enthusiasm for his own. He only ate the one slice, even though he hadn’t eaten since lunch the previous day. He didn’t even realize. He just couldn’t muster up an appetite.
He ended up feeding a couple slices to the willowmantis, which the plant consumed ravenously as Stolas stroked it's long strands of vine.
They were watching some game show where 100 sinners were locked in a room, one of which had been forced to swallow the key to escape; The game was to find the key, using the various knives and swords and chainsaws made available to the contestants.
“I’m going to have to go back to work tomorrow. There’s no end to the amount of fuckers in need of killing. What are you going to do? I just realized I have no idea what you do all day. Do you just like, garden and stuff?”
Stolas shook his head and sighed. “I have work to do too. I know most people think royalty spends our time sitting around doing nothing, but there is actually quite a lot of work that goes into our role. Even now, without my estate, I have retained my titles and all the administration that comes with them. Among other things, I command twenty-six legions of demons. You’d be surprised at the amount of paperwork involved in running an army.”
“If you need some office space, I can make Moxxie clear out his desk. That little cockgoblin hasn’t been pulling his weight recently - Last time he caught me watching through their window, he tried to shoot me, can you believe that?”
“And… Why were you watching them through the window, Blitz?” Stolas asked. He couldn’t think of a single answer that wasn’t creepy. He supposed voyeurism wasn’t the worst kink in Hell, where all the dogfuckers and autoerotic asphyxiation fans ended up. But still…
“I was just testing their defenses. Y’know, in case somebody we killed winds up in Hell and comes looking for revenge.”
“Does that happen often?”
“Not as often as you’d think, but more times than I’d like.”
“I may have a solution for that. There are ways to kill a human that make it impossible for their soul to ascend to heaven or fall to hell, but leave it trapped on Earth for all eternity.”
“I’m not looking to create an army of pissed-off ghosts. The living ones are enough.”
“Of course, Blitz. I wasn’t questioning your methods.”
“Good. Because you know if you did, I’d have to snap you in a beartrap.” Blitz looked away for a moment, “Do you still have the beartraps? I don’t remember loading them into the van.”
“No. They belonged to my uncle. A great hunter in his day, before the Flood back when there were still dragons and giants in the living world. I suppose Stella will leave them in the shed to rust.”
“Damn.”
“Quite.”
Again the awkwardness settled in around them like a fog. Blitz had never owned anything so ancient and he had no idea what it was like to lose not only one’s property, but a legacy handed down from father to son since the days when creation was young. He wanted to sympathize but his own family tree ended with his mother. He didn’t even know the names of his grandparents. The oldest thing he owned was probably the refrigerator in the apartment, which kept rattling the entire apartment with banging and knocking sounds all night, as if the leftovers were trying to get out.
Eventually they lay down to sleep. Stolas found the coffee table uncomfortable even with two comforters folded up under him. He and Blitz sat head to head at a 90 degree angle. Blitz’s horns kept touching Stolas’ headfeathers. It wasn’t a very good sleeping setup. Eventually, Blitz fell asleep and sawing wood, while Stolas could only lay awake on the hard coffee table, his head propped by a pillow not of finest down but of cotton, listening to the incessant growlings of the antique refrigerator. Stolas wondered, not for the first time, whether or not this had been a gigantic mistake.
—--
Blitz woke up while the bird was still asleep and climbed off the couch carefully so as not to wake him. It was so strange having him here. Even the owl's pajamas cost more than the couch he was sleeping on. And coffee table. Blitz kicked himself again for not going mattress hunting. He was sure he could've found one with a minimum of corpse juice soaked into it.
But that wasn't enough. It wasn't what Stolas was used to and it wasn't what he deserved. Blitz couldn't provide that.
It's all your fault, his subconscious brain reminded him. Stolas was just fine before he turned up and destroyed everything. Maybe the marriage wasn't perfect, but he wouldn't be sleeping on a fucking coffee table in the Imp City slums. It was hard for Blitz to fathom just how much he had truly taken from him. As usual, he had ruined everything. Now it was only a matter of time before Stolas realized it and left this shithole. And then what? No more book, no more IMP… And no more Stolas.
Stolas hooted lightly in his sleep.
"Fuck," Blitz muttered as he turned away. He didn't even realize he was already thinking of ways to push him away, to hurry up the impending collapse, so that at least he wouldn't be teetering on the edge forever.