Work Text:
Xingqiu knew this would happen.
He just knew it, he could sense it ever since Xiangling started giving Chongyun discounted meals at Wanmin Restaurant. That look in Xiangling’s eyes; that look in Chongyun’s eyes. He knew it ever since Chongyun seemed to get so clammy and awkward around Xingqiu. It was as if Chongyun was hiding the biggest worst secret from Xingqiu, something that would break their friendship, something that would cause chaos, something that would ruin everything. And, the overdramatic part of Xingqiu thought to himself that it has .
Xingqiu bounced his leg uncomfortably. Chongyun must’ve been with Xiangling right now, chatting away and sharing drinks and whatever romantic stuff people do together. He knew for a fact he was overdramatic; he should be happy, right? This was his best friend, and he should be happy for him.
But, how could he, when he himself liked Chongyun too?
This feels so dumb, Xingqiu thought. It was just like a novel, a piece of fiction. If he remembered correctly, this particular trope was called a love triangle.
Xingqiu sighed against his pillow dramatically. He remembered exactly how it came to this point. It was just before now, a few hours back when the three were supposed to meet up at Wanmin Restaurant to have one of their usual hangouts.
Chongyun was awkwardly beside Xingqiu, shuffling to the well-known restaurant. Usually, Xingqiu would think this is because Chongyun was scared that he would be pranked and fooled once again, but he knew better. There had been other reasons contributing to his awkwardness, to put it lightly.
“Xingqiu,” Chongyun mumbled, “you sure you aren't going to prank me this time?”
Xingqiu had scoffed to himself. A miserable attempt at conversation.
“No, I swear,” Xingqiu reassured. He tried his best to act casual.
When they eventually reached the restaurant, Xiangling was waiting outside the wide, open door, face right behind the blue curtain waving gently in the breeze. Her pale arms were crossed behind her back, her expression gleefully excited as she yelled “ hello! ” and “welcome!” to every customer insight. Though, right when Chongyun and I entered her vicinity, her joyful expression darkened and she seemed horribly guilty. I saw it, I swear I did; the way her eyes seemed to darken, how she stiffened up like a doll. It was obvious.
“Oh, hi you two,” she said, less joy in her voice than usual. She blinked at the pair with her big amber eyes.
Chongyun gestured his hands somewhere around Xingqiu’s body. “Hey. I uhm. I brought Xingqiu with me.”
“I see that,” Xiangling responded, glaring down at the ground as if she was thinking hard. “Xingqiu, you know only Chongyun’s supposed to be here, right…?”
I knew it! “Huh? Have I misunderstood something?” Xingqiu replied, trying to sound formal. As if he wasn’t bothered, as if this was shocking news.
“You can just wait outside… We’ll be with you in a second,” Xiangling mumbled, awkward and stiff like a frozen ragdoll. Internally, he groaned and turned his body around so he could lean against the wooden doorframe.
“Young master!” a voice suddenly called. Xingqiu was pulled from his trance and rolled off his bed, landing not-so-gracefully onto the wooden floor with a grunt. What is it this time, Xu? He thought bitterly. Couldn’t you call me over some time that isn’t right now?
Xingqiu grabbed his shoes in his hands and prepared to put them on. They were his more fancy ones. “What is it, Xu?”
“That, uhm. That one exorcist boy is here to see you.”
Xingqiu froze up halfway through putting his boots on, his foot awkwardly dangling over the shoe’s opening. For a while, his mouth hung open until he let out a sigh and pressed his lips into a bitter line. This was a fantastic time for Chongyun to visit, totally. Right after his date with Xiangling.
Swiftly, he put his boots on and rushed downstairs, each footstep letting out an awfully loud clicking sound that echoed throughout the entire building. Awfully informal of him, he realized. He was almost certain his face was red from either anger, jealousy, embarrassment, maybe even guilt, too, and he hoped that Chongyun wouldn’t notice.
Gosh, how can someone be so, so glad to see someone but also so, so angered to?
A few servants were waiting by the giant doors of the Feiyun Commerce Guild, he noticed, and they were waiting intently for his arrival. Xingqiu hoped he hadn’t taken long; even if he did, he had a reason for it, god damn it. Pressing business was on his mind, and by that he didn’t mean the pile of paperwork sitting on his desk.
The servants synonymously opened the wide wooden doors, the wood creaking eerily as if it wasn’t cleaned pretty much every single day. Xingqiu felt himself cringe a little- mostly from guilt- as the view of Chongyun suddenly became visible. His hands were linked together and his eyes were staring at the floor, something swirling in his irises. Plus, Xingqiu swore there was red sprinkled his cheeks, too. God, why was he so awkward around Xingqiu now? Because he’s dating Xingqiu’s friend, is that why?
For the first few moments, pained silence accompanied by overcast weather made the tension thick and uncomfortable. Xingqiu noticed Chongyun fidgeting with his navy blue gloves and God, Xingqiu felt himself recoil. This was horrible. Not just for Xingqiu, no, he is not that selfish. Chongyun must feel horrible too, you know? He’s been keeping this a secret for so long.
Wait, Xingqiu thought. Is he here to tell me that-
“Xingqiu?” Chongyun said. His voice cut straight through Xingqiu’s thoughts and he shuffled around to make himself look presentable. Thoughts must’ve been swirling around in his mind so much he forgot how to seem polite.
“Yes?” Xingqiu replied. So not like him. Who replies with an overly formal, “yes?” to a close friend? He was suddenly hit with a strong feeling of guilt and shame and he really wanted to run back up to his room right now and hide his face in his blankets, like a toddler.
“May I come in?” Chongyun then asked. His eyes were still glued to the ground.
Xingqiu thought for a moment, uncertain. “...Sure.”
Thankfully, the servants led Chongyun up to Xingqiu’s room with ease and they didn’t have any awkward filler conversation. The air was still thick, yes, but not suffocatingly so. It was fine.
When they reached Xingqiu’s room, though, everything seemed to change.
Xingqiu’s dark green curtains blew from a breeze entering through the opened window, cloudy skies not leaving a patch of blue to be seen. Chongyun had seated himself on the floor (he used to always do that, back when things were normal. To him, sitting on Xingqiu’s bed was impolite, somehow) and Xingqiu sat lazily on his bed. The way the familiar plush texture of the bed sank under his weight made him cringe. Too much familiarity for such an unfamiliar situation.
Silence hung over their heads, and Xingqiu refused to speak. His heart started feeling heavy and speaking seemed frightening. Ironic how just moments ago he was filled with an envious anger, while now all he could feel was loathing and an unwelcome sadness.
Speak, Xingqiu commanded in his head, say something, admit what you’ve been doing, Chongyun. Rip off the bandaid. I don’t care. Totally.
Xingqiu looked down to meet Chongyun’s gaze. He swore he noticed the other boy flinch, and finally, the tense silence came to an end.
Though, it ended with possibly the worst thing Chongyun could’ve said.
Chongyun swallowed thickly. “I’ve thought about this for a long time and Xiangling-”
Xingqiu knows, he knows, he knows. Enough of Chongyun speaking, he thought, this is the worst. He already knew, he’s known for the past year it seems, and there’s no need for a sloppy, ugly confession. He already felt horribly guilty, horribly sick. Enough. Enough of this.
Xingqiu kept his voice quiet to avoid Chongyun hearing his voice crack, but still audible enough to make sure Chongyun stopped speaking. “You like her, don’t you?”
“...What?” Chongyun replied. His skin seemed to redden.
This time, he spoke louder, despite any risks. Crying was not an option right now. “Xiangling. I’ve seen how you’re like with her. I just… I just don’t want to interfere. I’m sorry, this is selfish of me, I can go-”
“Wait!” Chonyun blurted out. His voice was loud and commanding, but not in an angered way. “This is a huge misunderstanding, Qiu.”
Huh?
Xingqiu stared at him in disbelief. He wasn’t dating Xiangling? Had he been misinterpreting their actions? Okay, well, they never kissed but the hugs were close enough, right?
Chongyun’s fragile shell seemed to shatter and he began to ramble, on and on and on. “Xingqiu, I don’t even like girls. When I asked to see her in private, it wasn’t to kiss her or anything. I was asking for advice on how to tell you about this. I thought… I thought you would’ve hated me. Would’ve stopped being my friend. It’s stupid, I know,” Chongyun explained. His face turned red and he lowered his head.
Xingqiu was still staring at Chongyun. He really wasn’t dating her. Selfishly, he thought to himself, maybe I still have a chance.
He sucked in a deep breath. “I, okay…I have to say this now because I don’t think I’ll have the confidence to do it later,” he said hastily. Chongyun tensed up, preparing for the harsh words.
“I’m in love with you, Chongyun. I have been, I’ve always been, ever since I saw you. When I saw how close you were with Xiangling, I guess I immediately thought you two were dating so I tried to stay out of your way when you were with her. I thought I would never have a chance with you and-” Xingqiu’s ramblings were cut off by Chongyun connecting his lips with Xingqiu’s.
Xingqiu was just kissed. By Chongyun. He and Chongyun were kissing. Right now, In Xingqiu’s bedroom. If this was a dream, he’d never want to wake up from it.
Chongyun seemed shocked by his own actions and after a few treasured seconds, he stumbled backwards and sucked in a breath. His skin was burning red and he had a horrified look in his eyes. “Xingqiu, I-”
“Chongyun,” Xingqiu commanded, “don’t. I liked it.”
Wait, Xingqiu immediately realized, what did I just say?
Before he had time to even think, Chongyun folded his palms into fists and pressed them against his face. “I’m sorry, I just figured- now or never, I guess. I don’t know.”
Xingqiu wasn’t one to often get flustered. He always pranked Chongyun, back when things were normal at least, and he had the high ground. Now, though, his face was so red he was certain he was going to pass out soon. Is this what it feels like to have a pure yang spirit?
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Xingqiu repeated. “I, uhm. Don’t worry about that. What you just did.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’m-” Xingqiu gulped- “in love with you. I just said that.”
Archons, Xingqiu was sounding like Chongyun now. This wasn’t in character for him.
Chongyun blinked. His hands were still pressed against his pink face. “I think I am too.”
Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Okay, being kissed by Chongyun was otherworldly, but now he just said that he’s in love with him. That should’ve been obvious ever since the kiss, but hearing it said aloud made Xingqiu shiver.
“You are?”
“Yeah. I’ve, uhm- I’ve never liked Xiangling in that way.”
Right, the Xiangling thing. Xingqiu still felt like his thoughts were justified, though, mostly because everything felt too unreal right now for him to process. Keyword, were .
Xingqiu let his body untense, or tried his best to, and stood up straight. He pushed himself off his bed to make his appearance more dramatic. “Chongyun,” he said with fake confidence, “will you be my boyfriend?”
Such an informal sentence with formal words sounds weird, but how else was Xingqiu supposed to ask? This was the only way he knew, that’s for sure.
Chongyun’s knuckles were a ghostly white. “Yes, yes,” he responded, obviously without thinking, “absolutely.”
Xingqiu smiled. “You sure?”
“Yes.” Chongyun seemed to smile, too.