Chapter Text
Dawn was breaking over CIT, where she was expected for what she assumed would either be more orders or more pronouncements.
"Well, you were an experiment of sorts."
In her mind echoed the last few weeks, months even. The confrontation with Kellogg, the hastily abandoned railroad posts near Concord, the obvious setups, all to the first confrontation with the acting director, Shaun, the other directors, Volkert's giddiness at giving her a check-up, what little she managed to glean from poring through the institute's files. And these words echoing in her mind
'We're only just now beginning to explore the effects
"Shaun I..."
of extreme
"I still..."
emotional
"I still lo..."
"Remarkable."
stimuli.'
Something inside her broke.
'Fuck you, Father.'
"Wait, all I am to you is another experiment?"
His response was, as usual, lofty, trying to put a noble face on things when she knew she was the product of the acting director's mommy issues at best. It didn't take him long to move from this to chiding her for the failure at bunker hill, like he would a particularly disappointing child.
Her tone was flat: "The brotherhood assault teams divided their efforts, we took significantly more fire than expected from both sides, X4 died in the crossfire. I had to fall back."
"Months of intelligence gathering, wasted with nothing to show for it. No matter."
A week later, Charmer showed up to Valentine's agency, wearing what Nick remembered her wearing when she rescued him, only the leather was a bit dustier, the blouse was a bit more torn up. A few scuffs and bumps she didn't have when she left for the institute, and the friend who looked like she could have been from one of those old world magazine covers seemed more exhausted than he'd seen her yet.
"You look like hell, doll."
"I missed you too, Nick." Her voice was breaking.
"What happened, you sound like you've been through another round of the wringer?" He asked as her eyes welled with tears.
"He... all of this..."
"It's okay, take it slow."
"I'm a synth, Nick." She grabbed him as she broke down. "It was all some big institute experiment."
Nick gently asked Ellie to go get some fresh water, or vodka, or prefferably both.
"I'm so sorry this is how you had to figure it out. I'm sorry for all the times I joked about the possibility, I swear I couldn't have known, not for real. Even if I did have my doubts."
She was limp in his arms as he tried awkwardly to console her, something that Ellie liked to remind him she was usually better at. "I spent six months running after a mirage. Hell, I am the mirage."
"Doll, you're no mirage, I can assure you." He thought for a moment. "Someone very wise once reminded me, at my lowest, that I was free to be whoever I wanted to be. I think that's true for you too."
"I'd like to meet your friend, so I can tell her she sounds like a fucking idiot."
"I may have told her she was a wise-ass once or twice, but an idiot, hardly. I'll tell her you said that next time I see her, if you really want me to."
She grinned a bit through the sobbing.
"It felt so much easier to say all this as a friend, Nick."
"Is it because you can't believe it's true for yourself? Because I assure you it is."
"Maybe, it's just... who am I if my biggest drive for months was institute bullshit because the director has mommy issues?"
"You're still you, just a messier you than you thought back in November."
"I guess. I don't know. Messier feels like an understatement. And he always treats me like his child even though he wants me to be his mother." She wiped her nose.
"Look, you said you would fight to help anyone, even a synth, right? This includes yourself?"
"I guess, it's just hard to get used to that whole thing. I'm literally a doll."
"And I'm a clockwork dick according to you. Look, I have an idea, are you expected back at the institute soon?"
"I have a lot of leeway, every director had something they wanted out of me that they'd rather not pay me for... "
"So you have a lot of free time, maybe a change of air would help you process things better? Because there's still this thing in Salem I've been putting off. Also you should talk to Glory, she showed up to my office twice to know if I had any news of you. She really cares about you."
"And I care about her, a lot."
She looked forward to seeing her in better circumstances than her last quick trip to Railroad HQ, maybe in Goodneighbor for once, instead of the old church basement.