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Stanley was almost positive that the Narrator had looked up some… odd things. The Narrator didn’t have much of a gauge on how humans on the Internet thought or behaved, nor a gauge on what might be inappropriate to search for, so it stood to reason that his Internet history was always incredibly entertaining to look at.
Or, Stanley assumed it would be. He’d never actually had the privilege of looking at the Narrator’s computer, much less his search history, but its contents had been a frequent topic of Stanley’s daydreams.
And as such, it was a topic that the Narrator had to talk about quite a bit.
“Stanley, for the last time, I don’t have this extravagantly bizarre search history.”
Stanley breathed a laugh out of his nose and rolled his eyes. Did the Narrator honestly expect him to believe that?
“You mean do I expect you to believe the truth?” The Narrator asked incredulously.
It wasn’t the truth, and if Stanley ever got his grubby hands on his computer he would prove it.
“Then it’s a shame that you’ll never be able to find it, isn’t it Stanley?”
Stanley’s head shot up to look at the ceiling. Did that mean what Stanley thought it meant?
“Wh- no, it most certainly did not!”
No? So, Stanley wanted to clarify, the Narrator was not somewhere in the Parable, hiding out with his computer that was full of unclosed tabs that contained… God knows what?
“That’s right, I’m most certainly… not in the- wow, that’s a detailed picture, huh…?” The Narrator seemed to be very distracted, and it quickly got Stanley’s attention.
Was the Narrator, perchance, looking at something? Something he shouldn’t have been?
“No!” The Narrator answered far too quickly. “I’m not looking at anything, get your mind out of the… gutter…” His voice trailed off again, confirming to Stanley he was doing something he shouldn’t have.
Stanley pouted and knocked on the wall. Where was he?! What room in this office could that insufferable British bastard be hiding in that Stanley had yet to explore already?!
“How dare you! Just for that, I’m not going to tell you where I am! Er, not that I’m anywhere in the Parable, that would be preposterOUS!-”
A loud crashing sound from a room far in front of him startled Stanley before it occurred to him what such a sound (and what such a noise from the Narrator) had meant. He narrowed his eyes and started booking it towards the sound of the ruckus.
“No no no, don’t come over here Stanley! I’m not doing anything, go away!” The Narrator’s voice boomed from all around him, but Stanley didn’t care.
He finally made it to a door he had never once seen before. Behind the door, the Narrator’s voice seemed to be doubled, almost like he was talking right behind it…
“Stanley, no, do not open that door.”
Stanley had never been one to listen to instructions, and he promptly opened the door.
**********
There had been a time once, not too long ago, when Stanley had asked the Narrator what exactly he looked like.
The Narrator had hesitated to tell him, but eventually obliged.
“Well Stanley, I… I don’t really know how to describe what I look like. I’m not human, I can tell you that.
Stanley frowned. If he couldn’t explain it to him, could he give him an idea of what he looked like?
The Narrator was quiet for a moment. “...odd. I am odd.”
When Stanley had asked the Narrator that, he had never stopped wondering what this form would look like. Or whether he’d be lucky enough to ever see him.
But when Stanley opened this new door, he wasn’t thinking about either of these things. He wasn’t thinking about much of anything, other than that he was going to see the Narrator.
The door flew open and Stanley stepped inside the shockingly spacious room, looking around. It was almost completely dark, sans a five monitor PC setup and a desk lamp sitting on a large semi-circle desk. A large rolling chair had been knocked over and was still on the ground - whatever had knocked it over had yet to pick it up.
Speaking of which, where was the Narrator?? Stanley could pretty much feel something in the room with him, but it was hard to see beyond the inky blackness encasing the rest of the room.
“Stanley, get out!” Something in the darkness - the Narrator - screamed at him.
Stanley pouted. Where was he? Was he hiding in the darkness?
“Well… kind of?” He sighed. “Look, don’t freak out when you see me, okay?”
Stanley blinked but nodded.
“If you say so.”
A figure moved in the darkness and walked(?) closer to Stanley. It was tall, Stanley could see that from the figure in the blackness alone. It seemed to be almost a foot taller than Stanley.
The next thing Stanley noticed was that the figure was very dapperly dressed - it wore a three piece gray suit with a yellow tie, and had red dress shoes on. Odd, but Stanley couldn’t judge; after all, he’d been wearing the same dress shirt and pants for the past [REDACTED] years.
And finally, the eyes. Right now, they were a very bright green color, and that should have been the end of it, but they had no pupils - the eyes were entirely green. And he had a lot - maybe six eyes all over his face.
As the being got closer to Stanley, it occurred to him that there may have been a reason why the Narrator had asked him not to freak out.
Finally, this seven foot creature stopped right in front of Stanley, bathed in the white light of the monitors. Stanley could see that it didn’t have “skin”, so to speak - it looked and moved almost like a shadow. A shadow that could touch things apparently, as it adjusted the glasses that sat over two of its eyes with a very slender hand (which then brought Stanley’s attention to the six arms this creature had).
Well, that wasn’t quite right - it wasn’t really a shadow, it had white specks all over it. The specks moved when Stanley moved his head, and when he saw a whole galaxy in the being’s skin, that about confirmed it for him - this wasn’t a shadow at all, it was the very fabric of space.
The Narrator had told the truth then - he did look very odd.
The creature seemed to be a bit fed up with Stanley’s commentary on its appearance and finally spoke up. “Are you just going to stand there and admire me? I mean, it’s understandable of course, I’m gorgeous, but it gets to be a bit tiring just standing here looking pretty, you know?”
Stanley snickered into his hand and glanced at the monitor before looking back at the Narrator. No, he most certainly was not going to just stand there looking at the Narrator - he had a job to do.
He rushed to the keyboard and mouse and quickly got into the computer’s search bar, decidedly ignoring that the Narrator used Bing as he got into his search history.
“You’re wasting your time Stanley, there’s nothing there!”
At first, it seemed that he was right. There were some silly things - “what do humans eat”, “what is ao3”, things of that nature. Then he came across something incredibly incriminating.
“There’s nothing there!” The Narrator insisted, but Stanley’s face as he turned around to look at the Narrator said otherwise. “What? What could you possibly have-”
Stanley pointed at one of the most recently closed tabs on the Narrator’s computer. The one that, in no uncertain terms, said “Stanley kissing Narrator”.
The Narrator’s eyes turned a sort of pinkish red, like he was blushing. “Stanley, I- it’s not what it looks like, I swear!”
Stanley thought for a second and made a “come here” motion to the Narrator.
“Stanley, I can see my own computer from where I’m standing, I don’t need-”
He made the motion more insistently. Come. Here.
The Narrator sighed in minor annoyance and got closer to Stanley, now almost eye level with him. “What is-”
Stanley pressed a kiss to where the Narrator’s mouth would have been had he been a human, effectively shutting the creature up for a good five seconds.
“Wh- what was that for?” The Narrator’s eyes turned bright pink - he was embarrassed.
Stanley shrugged. If his Narrator really wanted to know what it would be like to kiss him, all he had to do was ask.
The Narrator floundered for a moment. “I- well, that’s just- I mean, I can’t say it wasn’t pleasant , but-”
Stanley raised his eyebrows. That was a whole lot of talk to say that he liked the kiss.
“Stanley!” The creature’s eyes would have been even pinker if they could have been. “I mean, I did enjoy it, but you- I-” He fell silent. “...can you do that again?”
Stanley grinned and nodded, tugging on the Narrator’s tie and pulling it into another kiss before being stopped.
“Wait, wait. I have an idea.” The Narrator stepped back a bit and black smoke surrounded it, mildly confusing Stanley.
The smoke cleared and, in the creature’s place, was a human.
This human was about as old as Stanley, and wore the same suit the Narrator had. It had two eyes, but these eyes were still a single solid color (green right now). It had dark hair with a streak of red and a streak of yellow through it, and it had some very thick glasses. And finally, it was a bit shorter than him - maybe 6’ even compared to Stanley’s 6’3.
“Well?” The form fidgeted with its hands. “What do you think?”
Stanley stared at the Narrator for a moment before his face split into a huge grin, pulling this form into the kiss that had been interrupted before.
This startled the Narrator for a moment, whose eyes now burned pink, but that the shock didn’t last long and he soon found himself kissing Stanley back, his eyes closing to fully soak in the moment. He felt Stanley wrap one of his arms around him as if to pull him closer.
They stayed this way for a few moments, neither of them wanting to break away from it. Finally, Stanley pulled away to catch his breath and to truly admire the man in front of him.
His Narrator took a few moments to open his eyes, and Stanley noticed that he was shaking. That worried him. Was his Narrator okay?
The Narrator nodded and swallowed thickly, opening his eyes. “I… you’re very warm…”
Stanley nodded and looked down at the man, smiling a little cheekily. Was that better than the search results he’d gotten?
“Oh, shut up and kiss me again, you menace.”
Stanley grinned and did just as he asked, pulling his Narrator into yet another kiss.
This time when they pulled away, Stanley noticed that a deep rumbling sound was coming from the Narrator’s chest. Stanley raised an eyebrow. Was his Narrator… purring ?
“I- no, I most certainly am not!” The Narrator laughed a bit nervously.
Stanley narrowed his eyes in suspicion and moved his free hand to the top of the Narrator’s head, gently running his fingers through his hair.
The Narrator rumbled again, and his entire face matched the dark pink his eyes were. “Stanley!”
Stanley grinned and kissed his Narrator’s forehead. He didn’t mean to embarrass his Narrator (even though he was adorable when he was flustered).
“Hmph,” the Narrator huffed, crossing his arms before looking back at Stanley. “...am I really that adorable to you?”
Stanley nodded. Incredibly so.
The Narrator playfully pushed Stanley’s shoulder. “Oh shush. Could we get back to the game?”
Stanley nodded again. Of course, but on one condition.
“What’s that?”
The Narrator had to accompany him.
“What?”
He heard him.
“Why?”
No reason. He just wanted his Narrator to be with him while he went through the game.
The Narrator considered that for a moment before smiling. “Fine, fine, I’ll come with you. But I’m going to be in my normal form, alright?”
Stanley grinned and nodded eagerly, quickly heading over to the door as the Narrator turned back into the seven foot tall eldritch deity. He grabbed one of its six hands and practically dragged him out of the room, making his Narrator laugh in amusement.
“Alright, alright, I’m coming! Where did we leave off? Oh, right. When Stanley came to a set of two open doors…”