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The first time it happens, they’ve just saved the world and the Justice League. Emotions and adrenaline are running a little high, and Robin doesn’t even notice when Zatanna grabs him and kisses him on New Year’s Eve.
Until he realizes hold the Batphone, Zatanna just grabbed him and kissed him. Is still kissing him. Robin barely has the wherewithal to grab her and kiss her back (does the fact that he knows the exact moment it happens mean that he does have the whenwithal?), but he does, because, hey, tonight he saved the world and, apparently, got the girl. It’s a total superhero moment, and when they pull apart Zatanna is blushing just slightly and Robin is trying not to grin as widely and stupidly as Wally is a few feet away.
All in all, that first New Year’s Eve is totally whemling.
XXXXX
The second New Year’s Eve, they’ve saved the world again, but not without a cost.
Aqualad floats in a healing pod front of him, unconscious and suspended in seawater mixed with an Atlantean nutrient concentrate. Aquaman’s brother had designed the medicated solution specifically for the water-dwellers who were injured on dry land and didn’t have enough time to be taken back to the ocean. The nutrients are helping heal the wounds to Aqualad’s gills, but it won’t be enough.
He will never be able to leave the water again. In a few days’ time, King Orin will take him in the pod back to Kaldur’s home beneath the waves, where his body can breathe naturally. Kaldur will never be able to set foot on the surface again.
And it’s all Robin’s fault.
There hadn’t been a choice – save Aqualad from the encroaching flames, or stop the superweapon and save the world. Robin was raised by Batman; he’ll save the world every time. But that doesn’t mean he won’t hate himself for it.
Suddenly, all Robin wants to do is hit something, and he needs to do that away from Kaldur’s healing pod. He won’t do anything more to damage his friend, his leader.
Kaldur’s voice from their first mission rings through his head: ”Then I accept this burden, until you are ready to lift it from my shoulders.”
At the other end of the med bay, Robin punches the steel-alloy wall and lets loose a strangled cry. He’s not ready yet. Aqualad is still supposed to be their leader. But he’ll never be able to work with the team again.
If he can’t even breathe air, how will he ever even join the Justice League? All of Kaldur’s dreams for the future, gone up in smoke because Robin is the kind of hero who can accept collateral damage.
“Hey.”
Still breathing hard, Robin doesn’t turn away from the wall at Zatanna’s voice. He can’t look at her, not now, not when she’s the only reason Robin isn’t in here looking at his friend’s corpse.
“I…I’m sorry.”
He still can’t face her, but his shoulders hitch at the broken sound in her words. What could she possibly be sorry for?
“I’m sorry,” Zatanna says again, only a little bit stronger. “If I’d gotten there sooner, if I’d been stronger…”
“No!” Robin whips around and grips her shoulders, shaking her hard enough that he sees her wince. He loosens his grasp; no sense in hurting more of his friends tonight. “None of this was your fault! You’re the one who saved him—“
Zatanna wrenched out of his hold and turned away, wrapping her arms around herself. She’d changed out of her costume; he was still in his. “I kept him alive long enough to get him to a pod,” she corrects. “But I couldn’t fix the damage to his gills, I couldn’t keep the fire away from him and fight Klarion at the same time…I didn’t even think to just suspend him in water!”
“Zatanna…”
“My dad would have thought of that,” she says quietly. “He would have been powerful enough, quick enough to think of something. Maybe Superboy was right, and I’m not ready to take on the big bad guys.”
Robin grits his teeth at the memory of that fight; their whole team had very nearly self-destructed before this mission, all because too many personal issues were coming to a head at once. Robin thinks, but doesn’t say, that the only reason Superboy has made Zatanna the focus of his anger is because she sided with M’gann when she wanted to “take a break” from their relationship. No matter how badly that broke Conner, Robin knows he’d never take his feelings out on M’gann. Zatanna was a convenient target tonight, nothing more.
But she’s such a powerful sorceress, has so much potential, that it’s easy to forget that she’s the newest member of their team in a lot of ways. Even Rocket has been actively fighting for longer than Zatanna, even if she’d only joined the team a year ago. Zatanna, though…Zatanna is young. Robin’s young too, but not in the ways that count in their world. He’s older than all of them in those ways.
He can’t blame Zatanna, though. With all of his experience, Robin should have known to yell out for Zatanna to encase Aqualad in water, or blow back the flames, or something. With him out of commission, Robin became team leader, but he didn’t act like it. In that moment, when two of his teammates, his friends needed him…
Robin completed the mission. Maybe he’s destined to become the Batman, no matter what.
He snaps his head up, eyes wide behind his domino mask when Zatanna sniffles and slumps back against the wall. She slides down until she’s on the cold metal floor, knees drawn up to her chest. Before Robin knows what he’s doing, he’s on the floor beside her, a forced looseness to his body that he doesn’t feel. But he wasn’t there for her once already tonight; he can at least put her mind at ease now.
Aqualad is off their team permanently. Happy freakin’ New Year.
“This isn’t your fault,” he says again, nudging her shoulder with his just slightly. “You did as well as you could out there.”
“It wasn’t enough.” Zatanna sounds close to tears again, but she doesn’t let them fall. Robin feels a hot surge of pride shoot through him; Zatanna is strong. She can be beaten down, but she doesn’t break. She’s a good addition to the team.
Robin’s glad she’s here.
“You went up against a Lord of Chaos.” He nudges her again, stronger, forcing her eyes up. “And you won. You made him retreat. A year ago, that wouldn’t have happened. You made Klarion run away. And then you still managed to save Aqualad’s life.” Before he can stop himself, Robin reaches out a gloved hand and lifts her chin. He wishes he could feel her skin; he wishes she could see his eyes. He hopes she feels how much he means his words. “You did really, really good tonight, Zatanna.”
Zatanna sniffles again, but she doesn’t drop her gaze, keeps her blue eyes steady on his behind his mask. “So why doesn’t it feel like enough?”
“Because,” Robin says. This is the hard part, the harsh truth of the world. But he knows Zatanna already knows it. “Because it never is.”
There’s a beeping at the other end of the med bay, and Robin’s watch lets out little sounds as well. Zatanna laughs softly, a sad smile playing across her face as she picks up his wrist. “Midnight,” she says, sighing. “Happy New Year.”
Robin doesn’t think about his next actions, only knows that he needs to do it. He twists his hand, suddenly holding hers instead of the other way around, and gently pulls her closer. Last year, she had been the one to initiate this, on a good night; now, twelve months later, as bad as tonight is, they’re both still here.
Maybe there’s something to that old superstition after all.
Robin closes the gap between them and presses his lips to hers. It’s not nearly as hard or excited as their first kiss – their only other kiss before now – but it still feels like so much more than last year’s. A year of history; a year of camaraderie; a year of late night snack sessions and homework help and having each other’s backs against the rest of the world; a year of knowing. Robin knows Zatanna now, knows the real girl, and this midnight kiss is more than last year’s.
A year ago, New Year’s Eve was a celebration, a congratulations on a job well done. Tonight, it’s a comfort, a balm; it’s a promise that in another year, they’ll still be here.
Zatanna pulls back first, but she’s not blushing like last time. Instead, she reaches up her free hand and strokes his cheek for a second; Robin burns the feel of her skin into his memory. She gives him a light smirk. “Who knew the Boy Wonder was such a traditionalist?”
And Robin laughs, momentarily free. “Oh, yeah, that’s me. I’m a classic.”
She rolls her eyes and pulls back into her own space. “You’re a dork, is what you are.” But the spell in the air around them still lingers, and Robin wonders if Zatanna actually did something to it. Her smirk slips into a smile, a real one, albeit small, and she rises. Extending a hand, Robin lets her pull him to his feet as well. “Maybe there’s something to it,” she says. “After all, everyone who was together last year is still standing.”
He looks across the med bay, his eyes falling on Kaldur, suspended in the healing pod, unconscious and no longer able to breathe air, but alive. Robin thinks, Yeah, we’re all still standing. We made it after all.
Robin squeezes Zatanna’s hand once more before releasing her, both of them slipping back into themselves. “So,” he says. “Same time next year?”
Zatanna laughs, and Robin imagines that someday he’ll be able to stand beside her, free of his masks. That will be a good day, too. “Yeah,” she says, smiling brightly. “Same time next year.”
XXXXX
The third time it happens is when Zatanna notices things are starting to change.
It isn’t the biggest New Year’s Eve party Zatanna has ever been to -- that honor will always go to her grandmother’s soiree in the Roman foothills when seemingly every magician in the eastern hemisphere had shown up -- but tonight is definitely the best party. Ever.
The team is all together at Mount Justice, having mutually decided that tonight, after the year they’ve had, needs to be spent together. Zatanna closes her eyes and lets the sounds of the living area wash over her: cheesy pop music coming from the entertainment center, Wally laughing and attempting to dance to it while Artemis pretends to be embarrassed by him; Raquel, M’Gann, and Connor in the kitchen, the girls attempting to recreate Raquel’s aunt’s cookie recipe while Connor watches and tries not to get batter dumped on him by his newly-reunited girlfriend; Barbara and Bette, the latest recruits, sitting around the dining table and trying to teach Roy -- the original Roy, finally rescued but still young and one-armed thanks to Cadmus’s suspended animation -- about the finer points of holographic poker. Everyone is laughing and cheerful and happy, and Zatanna is almost convinced that they’re just any other group of friends celebrating the start of a new year together.
But they’re not. They’re aliens and superhumans and sorcerers, heroes, who are all painfully aware of how lucky they are to be together tonight. Zatanna frowns and looks around the room again. They’re missing one.
Their leader.
With a sigh, Zatanna figures that it’s up to her to go and drag Robin back from whatever funk he’s worked himself into. This is their third New Year’s together, with a full two and a half years of working side by side under their belts, and Zatanna knows him well enough by now to know what’s going on in his head.
He used the Justice League’s satcom to speak with Aqualad earlier tonight -- they all had; wanted to wish their missing friend well and see him smile, even if it could no longer be in person -- and now he’s off doing ninja-hiding, and brooding.
If Zatanna could do without one of his personality traits, it would be the brooding. She thinks he’s spent too much time during his formative years around Batman.
Her father might be trapped inside a magic helmet that turns him into the physical embodiment of fate, but at least he always encouraged her to talk about her emotions. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that Wally shares all his feelings ever with whoever is around, she’d think it was just a boy thing. Poor Artemis probably wishes her boyfriend would be more of a boy, but they’ve all accepted that Wally’s the girl in that relationship. Going long-distance at college next year is going to suck for them.
It’s going to suck for all of them, because goodness knows that when Wally’s unhappy, he shares it with everyone.
But. Not her problem right now. Right now, she needs to find their errant leader and drag him by the ear back to emotional civilization.
She knows where he is. Earlier tonight they’d had a bonfire on the beach, watched the flames rise up to the sky and carry the last twelve months with them. Zatanna still cringes around fire, but when even M’gann refused to turn away from it, Zatanna stood firm, too. The air was chilled enough that even a Martian could stand in front of a fire and not burn; for Zatanna, fire is still a potent reminder of her failure a year ago.
But, she reminds herself, it’s also a symbol of what she’s trying to accomplish. A year is a long time, especially for a sorceress. Zatanna’s learned a lot in twelve months, and though she still has a way to go, she’s getting closer. She knows the conversation with Kaldur is what drove Robin from the team’s company as midnight approaches, and almost considers telling him what she’s trying to accomplish, even if she’s not strong enough to cast that spell yet.
Tonight’s not a night for wallowing in the past. It’s New Year’s, and no matter what the team looks like now, no matter where they are, they’re all still standing. That’s reason enough to ring in midnight with a celebration.
Besides, Zatanna wants her New Year’s Eve tradition, and a sullen Robin isn’t a kissable Robin.
She finds him exactly where she expects to, sitting on a rock outcropping down the beach from where the bonfire was. They’d put it out before going back inside the cave, and now the only light outside comes from the moon overhead and the distant glow of Happy Harbor across the bay. Robin’s sitting on the flat rock top, one knee pulled up to his chest and an arm slung over it, his other hand bracing his body upright while his other leg hangs over the edge of the rock. A whispered spell allows Zatanna to see around the edge of the outcrop, and…yup, just like she thought. The rock hangs over the ocean, and Robin’s barely hanging onto the rock.
Great. Just…great. Zatanna doesn’t think she’s ever worked so hard for a kiss in her life, even if it is one that maybe-possibly-actually brings a year of good luck in its wake.
She doesn’t bother announcing herself as she climbs up the rock – Robin’s a freaking ninja; he probably heard her since she came outside at the other end of the beach – and just says, “You know, I hear there’s this great new invention called indoor heating. It’s heat. Indoors. Great for December by an ocean. You should try it.”
Robin snorts softly. “Really? And here I thought we were going to have to share body heat to stay warm all night.”
“You wish.” Zatanna laughs, because even if it’s a total Wally line, it’s a sign Robin’s still in there. She settles herself beside him, careful not to get as close to the ledge as he is, and bumps his shoulder lightly with hers. The sense of déjà vu overwhelms her for a moment. “Seriously, Robin. Come back inside with the rest of the team.”
“In a while,” he says. “I just need a few minutes.”
“No.” Zatanna rests a hand on top of his. They’re not in costume tonight, and she can feel the chilled skin beneath her warm palm; he still wears sunglasses, though, determined to conceal the last vestiges of his real identity. “You’ve been out here long enough. I let you have your space after we talked to Kaldur, but now--”
“I’m fine, Zee.”
She can’t see his eyes behind his sunglasses -- and they’re going to have to talk at some point about appropriate ways to hide your identity, because really? Sunglasses at night? -- but she knows his voice, and his voice is pretty much whimpering in pain like a broken bird. It’s quite unbecoming on someone with...shoulders like that...
When did Robin get so much bigger than her? She hasn’t really noticed it from day to day, but now, sitting here next to him, inching closer to absorb some of the body heat she swore they weren’t going to share, she sees it. He’s maybe half a head taller than her now, though that’s partially masked by how they’re sitting. But his shoulders were definitely not that wide a year ago, and for the first time, Zatanna realizes that Robin’s growing. He’s not done growing. Warmth flutters up in her stomach, and she wonders when his body started resembling the upperclassmen on the swim team at her old boarding school.
This isn’t why she’s out here. Zatanna’s here to comfort a friend and make good on a New Year’s Eve tradition, nothing more.
She’s not ready for anything more. There’s still too much she needs to do.
“Sorry, no,” she says. “I don’t believe you.”
Robin hisses out a breath, and Zatanna congratulates herself for making him react. Making a member of the Bat-family blink -- not that she’s ever seen them blink, what with the masks and all -- is how you know you’re reaching something real. So she presses onward.
“You’ve been getting quieter all evening, but you at least put on a good show for the rest of the team at the bonfire. Then we talk to Kaldur, and suddenly it’s ‘hey, left my noisemaker in my other spandex, be right back.’ After which we don’t see you.”
And okay, yeah, she definitely hits a nerve with that one, because his face twists like she just told him the Joker’s his father. “It’s kevlar, not spandex.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. You’re going to make your stand there?”
He sighs. “You’re not going to drop this, are you?”
“Nope. And if you really didn’t want anyone to find you, you’d have disappeared for real. I thought you were Gotham’s best ninja.”
“I am,” he replies, turning to her in a huff. Just above his shades, she can see his eyebrows pull down. “And don’t think you can distract me by trying to bruise my ego.”
“I’m not trying to distract you. I’m trying to get you out of your funk before midnight.”
One eyebrow rises above his glasses. “On a schedule, are we?”
“Hey, I’m trying to turn a two-year-long streak of good luck into three years, and I need you to not be all,” she waves a hand at him, “sullen and isolated and sad bird for that to happen.”
Both eyebrows are up now, and Zatanna knows she’s got him. “Sad bird?” he repeats slowly. “Sad bird? I think that’s worse than saying I wear spandex!”
Zatanna waves him off again, because she knows that the evening is going to progress according to her plans now. “Please. Artemis told me about that circus mission. She said you were very comfortable in those spandex trapeze outfits.” With a wicked little grin, she adds, “Let me guess: your day job is wandering gymnast-for-hire.”
“I...” Robin starts. “You...” He tries again. “That’s just...” Finally, he stops trying to argue with her and gives into the inevitable. He pulls his leg back up onto the rock, flops onto his back, and bursts out laughing. “Alright, fine, you win. No more sad bird.”
Zatanna pumps her fist in triumph and lies down beside him, smiling widely. “Of course I win. I always get what I want.”
Robin snickers. “And you want to kiss me.”
“I want good luck for the next year,” she corrects, shoving him. “Don’t go thinking you’re more important than you are.”
“Oh, so you could kiss just anyone at midnight?”
“No.” She frowns and shoves him again, because he’s still wearing that stupid grin beneath his stupid sunglasses. She doesn’t let her hand linger on his arm, no matter how much she wants to. When did his muscles get so defined that she can feel them in even the briefest touch? “But I’m a sorceress. I know all about the importance of ritual and repeated actions in order to bring about the correct result.”
Robin just kept laughing. “You so want to kiss me!”
“Shut up!” But she’s laughing too, albeit with a little huff to hers, because she’s not giving up her ground that easily. Even if, yes, technically, she’s not completely unopposed to the idea of kissing Robin. But she just…
This isn’t any kiss.
Zatanna’s not kidding about magic being tied to repetitive actions and rituals being important. It is and they are. And every sorcerer is a little superstitious; it’s what allows them to take that leap of faith and being using their abilities. Zatanna isn’t even entirely certain how she came to wrap the two events up in her head, but there they are: she and Robin have kissed twice on New Year’s Eve, and both following years have brought them triumph. The world remains safe. Both years now, they’ve added to the team, not subtracted. Kaldur is alive, and he might not even be under the water for much longer.
Something else Zatanna’s superstitious magician’s mind isn’t entirely unwilling to leave up to chance. If there’s one thing she no longer trusts, it’s fate.
She’s grown stronger with each passing year, more confident and powerful, and even though she knows it has nothing to do with kissing Robin at midnight…she doesn’t really know. After all, the other half of the superstition says that whoever you kiss is the person you spend the next year with, and no one can argue that that’s untrue, either.
So. Robin will just have to resign himself to being kissed by her in a few minutes, and Zatanna will have to deal with the fact that, despite the shoulders and the muscles, he’s still kind of a troll.
They fall silent, but it’s the comfortable kind, the one they slip into sometimes when it’s late and there’s nothing to do in the common area of the cave but neither of them want to go to sleep yet. It reminds Zatanna that Robin’s really one of her closest friends, even if she doesn’t know much about the boy behind the mask. But she knows he understands too well what saying goodbye to her father felt like; that kind of raw empathy can’t be faked. She knows he would follow the people he loves off a cliff. She knows he will lay down his own life for the world.
She knows he’ll give her this, even if he doesn’t quite believe in it himself.
Zatanna rolls onto her side, shivering against the cold rock, and grips the hand Robin’s left lying at his side. It’s bigger than she remembers, too, just like everything else about him. She doesn’t know when being near Robin started making her feel so small. Zatanna feels him squeeze her hand, warming the skin, and he doesn’t let go. He turns to his side to face her, bringing their clasped hands up to rest by their heads. They’re close enough to easily lean in when midnight chimes; far enough not to give the impression this is anything other than what it is.
The air around them shimmers, alerting Zatanna. “One minute,” she murmurs.
Robin grins. “You did cast a spell on the air,” he says, wonder and something else lacing his voice. He smiles like he’s remembering a private joke.
“Just something to let us know the time,” she says. Then, because it’s almost midnight and if there was ever a moment to press her luck, it’s right before she has to reset her well of good fortune for another year, she takes her free hand and moves it towards his glasses. More than anything, she wants to know what color his eyes are.
But he grabs her hand just before it reaches the frames, his scary ninja reflexes in top form. “I’m sorry,” he says, and his face falls so far that Zatanna wishes she could undo her movement. This is why you don’t tempt fate. “I’m sorry,” Robin says again. “I wish I could…but I…”
Zatanna frees her hand from his grip and presses two fingers against his lips. “It’s alright,” she says. “You work with Batman. I get it.”
“It’s not that.” Robin shakes his head, still frowning, but he doesn’t let go of her. The air shimmers brighter; thirty seconds to go. “I want to tell you, Zee. But if I do…”
“Everything changes,” she finishes. And she gets it, because really, how silly of her. This is the last thing that separates them, that keeps their worlds from colliding, and Zatanna’s not ready for that, either. She never had to worry about a secret identity, and now her father’s trapped behind a faceless helmet for eternity. She’s perfectly fine with not rushing forward too quickly.
Also, she really, really doesn’t want to get on Batman’s bad side.
“Someday,” Robin says, holding her hand tighter and pulling her in. “Someday.” It’s a promise, just like New Year’s Eve. She doesn’t doubt Robin for a moment.
The air lights up around them, and a soft tinkling hits their ears. Even if she can’t see them, Zatanna knows she’s looking into Robin’s eyes when their lips meet in their third kiss.
It’s different this time, weird to be lying down, and it occurs to Zatanna that she has to twist her head slightly to keep her mouth on his. Their heights don’t match up anymore, even like this, and it makes the kiss feel real in a way the first two couldn’t have. Zatanna concentrates on this kiss, on the tilt of her head and the feel of his skin; the way the air around them suddenly feels blistering, even though the smooth surface of the rock beneath her is still like ice. She feels everything and for a moment, it’s like the sun is shining overhead.
The lights begin to dim again, and Robin keeps kissing her. Zatanna realizes she could easily keep doing this, lying here surrounded by Robin, kissing him until she has to breathe, and maybe not even stopping then.
This isn’t just a tradition between two friends.
Zatanna jerks back, releasing his mouth with a soft pop, and forces her heart to calm down. When she finally opens her eyes, she sees Robin lying exactly where she left him, slack-jawed and perfectly still. Yes, pulling away was the right thing to do. If a kiss can do this to them, well.
For the moment, all Zatanna can deal with is making sure the next twelve months are filled with good luck and spent with people she loves. There’s still too much to do.
She wishes she knew what his eyes look like right now.
Finally, the stupor seems to lift and Robin gives her a shadow of his usual cocky grin. “Well,” he says, and Zatanna tries not to grin at how out of breath he sounds, “Um…mission accomplished?”
And just like that, he’s Robin again, and nothing about their friendship is undone. Tradition fulfilled, Zatanna sits up, determined to go back inside where it’s warm. She doesn’t think about how warm she was a few moments ago.
Zatanna hops off the rock, the sand muffling her footfall. She waits for Robin to join her, but sneaky ninja bastard that he is, he lands completely silently. They don’t speak the entire way up the beach, and it’s only when they reach the mountain that Zatanna catches his arm and makes him turn back. Like this, on solid ground, she has to look up into his face.
“About next year,” she says. Robin’s face pales just noticeably under the dim moonlight, so Zatanna lets him off the hook with a cheeky grin. “Same bat time, same bat channel?”
Robin laughs and pushes her through the doors. “I’ll be counting the days.”
XXXXX
The fourth time it happens, it’s an unmitigated disaster, emphasis on the un and the dis.
The party’s in full swing, with more superheroes currently standing in the cave than any other time since Zatanna’s been on the team. And she’s pretty sure it was never that full before she joined, either. Because she’s reasonably certain that most of the Justice League has never been in the cave with the full team before.
And the team’s almost as large as the League now. At least, it is if she counts probationary members and members so new they haven’t even been on missions yet.
Zatanna’s choosing to count them, because she’s not that petty. After all, she was new once, too.
Of course, even at her greenest, she never abandoned the team to pull off a secondary objective without informing anyone that she’d seen an opening. Not like Batgirl had on her very first mission. Not like Batgirl who, despite that and only having been with the team for three weeks, is already off probation. Because she’s Batgirl, and she’s been vouched for by Batman and Robin.
Meg told her that Robin pulled a similar stunt on the team’s first official mission, so of course he forgives her that particular transgression. And she’s already patrolled Gotham with the Bat-family for six months, so there goes her probation, too.
And she’s Robin’s girlfriend. Zatanna tries very hard not to think that plays a role in how easily everyone trusts her.
Whatever. Batgirl’s nice and a solid fighter, and she’s learning to tell the team her moves before she makes them. Mostly. It’s definitely no reason for Zatanna to snark on her, even if it’s only in her mind.
”Just remember you’re not the only one who can hear those thoughts.”
Zatanna’s head snaps up and she catches M’gann’s eye across the room. The Martian is smiling ever so serenely, and Zatanna smirks and cocks an eyebrow in acknowledgment. One little spell gets overpowered and now she’s got another week of Meg’s voice in her head beyond the scope of the team’s normal telepathic communication. It reminds Zatanna that there are no magic users in the League besides Dr. Fate; her options are to let the spell fade naturally or allow the mask wearing her father’s body to come anywhere near her. And at this time of year, no less...yeah, Zatanna’s crummy mood is totally justified.
”I know it is. Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?
Zatanna sighs and shakes her head, before remembering that doesn’t actually answer a telepathic question. ”I’ll be fine,” she thinks at Meg. ”But thanks.”
”Just try not to take it out on Batgirl,” Meg answers back, and Zatanna can practically see the nervous face that usually accompanies that tone. ”She’s doing the best she can. We were all new, once.”
”Yeah, but the whole reason Batman pushed to get her fully on the team is because she’s been out with him and Robin for months now. She’s not new.”
”Zee, what’s going on with you? You should be ecstatic tonight--”
”I’ve got to go find Tim. Talk to you later. And try to be nice to Connor when midnight rolls around. This is going to be another bad New Year’s for him.”
Across the room, M’gann’s face looks as puzzled as she sounds. ”What do you mean?”
”I mean, just don’t grab L’gann in front of him at midnight, okay? Have fun at the party.”
Before Meg can respond to her snippiness, Zatanna throws up a mental shield spell. It takes effort to maintain, but being alone in her head right now is well worth the effort.
Even if she is almost completely magically tapped out. She walks past Kaldur, back on dry land thanks to Zatanna’s eleventh-hour burst of sorcery during their battle tonight, and knows that the days of uninterrupted sleep she’ll need to recharge is a small price to pay.
Despite what she told Meg, Zatanna doesn’t enter the crowded common area to look for Tim. She knows where he is, and to get to him she’ll almost certainly have to walk by Batgirl, who hasn’t strayed from Robin’s side since everyone got back to the cave and declared New Year’s Eve would double as the official save-the-world party.
Wally’s words. The last ones he said before grabbing Artemis after the fight and dragging her over to the corner; they haven’t come up for air since. Being a speedster still makes a bi-coastal college relationship difficult, so she doesn’t begrudge her friends their limited time together. But that does mean there’s one less corner of the room to hide in.
Not that Zatanna’s hiding. She’s just pulled off the biggest spell she’s ever cast under extremely high stakes, that’s all; it makes total sense that she’d be exhausted and not want to be all chatty and smiley and oh, did you see how Batgirl hacked the airship’s mainframe--
“Why in the world are you hugging the wall?”
“Gah!” Zatanna nearly jumps out of her skin at Robin’s voice in her ear. She whips around and jabs a finger into his (wow, really muscular) chest. “Are you crazy? You never sneak up a magician! We might turn you into a toad or something on accident. Not that anyone would be able to tell the difference if I did that to you!”
Robin just laughs and brushes her hand away. “Whoa, chill, Zee! No need to get all threatening.”
She glares at him. “What are you even doing over here? You were just on...the other side...” But when she looks at where Robin just was, sure enough, Batgirl and Batman are talking like there’s nothing amiss.
Robin cackles, smiling down from nearly a head’s height above Zatanna.She’s mostly used to having to crane her head back just to look him in the eye. Such as that is, what with him still being masked and all. “I ninja’d my way over here. Duh, Zee.”
Oh, right, duh What’s he even doing here, anyway? “You sure your girlfriend won’t get lonely?” Well, that sounded bitter. She doesn’t mean it like that. Really, she doesn’t. “Sorry, sorry,” she says when she sees Robin wince. “I just meant, tonight was only her third mission with the team, and she hasn’t really talked to anyone except you and Batman tonight, and…”
“No, it’s fine,” he says. “I get it. Bab…Batgirl still doesn’t think the team’s gotten over that first mission, and with Kaldur coming back tonight,” he bumps her shoulder with his arm, grinning widely, “and don’t think I don’t want to talk to you about how that happened. But she thinks tonight needs to be about the team as much as possible.”
“Then shouldn’t she be hanging out with the team?”
The tone of her voice must sound as bad as she hopes it doesn’t, because Robin’s lips press into a thin line. “You mean like your friend who hasn’t talked to anyone but Red Tornado all night?”
“Tim’s pretty much the most mystically powerful person on the planet.” Yeah, she regrets what she just said, but Robin knows what kind of magic she performed tonight; he knows what it costs her. “Talking to an android is like, completely out of the realm of anything he’s ever experienced before. Batgirl knows Batman. She knows you. She should be getting to know the team.”
“Yeah, because the team’s been so welcoming and open!”
“She ran off on her first mission without telling anyone! Even telepathically!”
“Yeah, to dismantle a bomb we missed on our first sweep!”
Zatanna shoves herself in Robin’s face, not caring about the rest of the room. “That’s not an excuse and you know it! She didn’t tell us what she was doing, and that puts the rest of the team in danger.”
“Yeah? And how did little Timmy Hunter do his first time out with the team?” Robin pushes right back. “Oh, that’s right! He hasn’t even been on a mission yet!”
“That doesn’t matter!” Zatanna shoves his chest; he doesn’t even flinch. “The League thinks he needs to be around the rest of us!”
“Oh, please! Dr. Fate wanted him here.”
Robin realizes what he’s said a second too late. She knows he’s trying to apologize, hears him like a muted buzzing in her ears, but right now it’s taking all the energy she has left to just breathe normally.
Is she being that bad? How could he even say...?
”...going on? Zee? Zatanna!”
Zatanna grips her head as Meg’s voice breaks through. If her shield spell fails this easily, then the magic to get Kaldur back took more out of her than she realized. No wonder she’s on a knife’s edge with Robin.
But still. For him to say that...
”What did Robin just say to you? I swear, if you don’t answer me I’ll link him up, too, and ask him myself!”
Zatanna forces her breathing to steady and pushes her off. Gently, because she knows M’gann’s concern comes from a good place, but Zatanna just doesn’t have the energy to deal with both of them at once. ”It’s fine, Meg. I’m fine.”
”But I felt—“
“Just…drop it, Meg. Please.”
The link is silent for a few moments, and Zatanna ignores everything outside her mind. She knows Robin must be distressed by her reaction, that he’s probably trying to spot-invent time travel so he can undo the last few minutes. Finally, Meg’s voice rings through Zatanna’s mind, and she sighs in relief at the answer.
”Fine, I’ll leave it. But I’m sending Tim over to help you. If you can’t even keep up a blocking spell right now…”
Zatanna concedes the point. “Yeah. I think the spell tonight took more out of me than I realized.”
“You’re really not going to tell me what Robin said that started all this?”
“No.”
A very loud mental grunt of frustration echoes through her head, and Zatanna laughs a little. ”Fine, fine,” Meg says. ”Sending Tim over now.”
It’s only when M’gann’s voice fades from her mind and she starts focusing on the outside world again that she realizes Robin’s practically holding her upright. She blinks, trying to clear her focus, and looks at him. He’s still in uniform – they’re all still in uniform; “save the world, throw a party” is taken pretty literally around here – so she can’t see his eyes. But his face tells enough of a story for her to imagine the worry she’d see reflected there if she could see them at all.
She imagines, sometimes, what color his eyes are. He’s got black hair, so they’re probably black or brown, but Zatanna’s got blue eyes, so she sometimes wonders if his are blue as well. Sometimes they’re green, sometimes hazel, but no matter what she sees in her mind, his eyes are always sparkling with mischief.
Whatever color they are, they’re definitely not sparkling with mischief right now.
“God, please, Zee.” His voice breaks on her nickname. “Say something! Yell at me, punch me, turn me into a toad, just do someth--“
“If you don’t stop shouting in my ear,” she says quietly, “I really am going to turn you into a toad.”
Robin sags against her. “Okay, seriously, don’t do that! No, wait, I’m sorry! I’m sorry; I don’t get to say that after opening my big mouth.”
Zatanna pulls away; she can’t be leaning against him right now. Not with Dr. Fate hanging in the air between them, not with Tim and Batgirl and a whole lot of things she isn’t strong enough at the moment to think about hanging between them. So many things she didn’t have to think about a year ago.
Which is precisely the problem. A year ago, New Year’s Eve was just a night for friends to stand by each other, to support one another. A year ago, they were all each other had. Now, they both have other people they’re supposed to kiss at midnight.
Zatanna knows their three years of good fortune have nothing to do with those three kisses...except for the tiny part of her that doesn’t. That part of her screams that what happened tonight, what she made happen tonight, can’t be written off as coincidence, that there are larger forces at play.
Sometimes Zatanna hates being a sorceress. That part of her brain is too superstitious for its own good.
“Zee?”
Hearing his voice makes her finally look up. “Tim.” Without thinking about it, she leans against Timothy Hunter and breathes him in, absorbing the magical essence he exudes without even trying. It doesn’t take long for Zatanna to feel a balm settle over her; Tim’s had that effect on her since the moment they met. He’s like a battery; when he’s around, she lights up.
“Well,” Robin says, and Zatanna feels awful that she could forget he was still there. “I guess I’ll just…leave you to it, then.”
Tim wraps an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against him. He’s easily as tall as Robin, but leaner; she feels bone above his heart, not solid muscle. Not that she notices Robin’s chest. She doesn’t.
No, really.
“Yeah.” Zatanna doesn’t miss the glare Tim gives Robin from behind his glasses when he speaks. “You do that.”
“Tim,” she warns.
“Hey, you try having an angry Martian yelling inside your head.”
Zatanna snorts softly. “Been there, done that.”
Both boys’ faces sober immediately. “Oh,” Tim says. “Right. I wish I had enough control over my powers to help.”
Zatanna watches the muscle twitch in Robin’s jaw (and when did that start looking so…square?). She knows he regrets what he said about Dr. Fate, and she honestly just doesn’t have the energy for this tonight. She should forgive him, she knows this, but Zatanna doesn’t want to, not right now. She’s just cast the most powerful spell of her life, she’s got Meg’s voice in her head until the magical overload fades, the only person on the planet who can help her stole her father’s body, and Robin accused her of dating Tim just to appease that person.
So, yeah. She’ll forgive Robin.
…Tomorrow.
“Hey, everyone!” Wally suddenly appears in the middle of the room, wearing the dumbest grin on his face and holding Artemis’s hand tightly enough that she can’t escape the limelight. “Thirty seconds to midnight!”
For a moment, it looks like Robin wants to say something. Zatanna refuses to think about what (oh, well, no one should be a slave to tradition) –
Out of nowhere (seriously, is every hero from Gotham a freaking ninja?), Batgirl appears at Robin’s side, the cowl still pulled over her face, obscuring her identity. Zatanna tries not to roll her eyes; heaven forbid Batman allow them to trust their own teammates.
“Hi, guys!” Batgirl smiles at their little group, sliding a hand through Robin’s. Her smile softens when she sees Zatanna. “How’re you doing?” she asks, and she sounds so sincere that Zatanna can’t help but soften, too. Towards her, at least. “That was some major power you unleashed out there tonight.”
“Yeah, well.” She shrugs, the movement stifled a bit by Tim’s arm still wrapped around her shoulders. “Go big or go home, right?”
She must look more genuine than she did before with Robin, because Batgirl relaxes, and she suddenly looks a lot more like a girl Zatanna might someday be friends with. “Now that is an idea I can get behind. You’re my kind of girl, Zatanna.”
Zatanna giggles at their identical trains of thought, then bursts out laughing at Robin’s ashen face. She decides he deserves nothing less than for her and Batgirl to become great friends.
“Ten!” Wally shouts above the din. “Nine! Eight! Seven!” He grabs Artemis and pulls her against his chest like a cheesy movie hero.
“Wally!” Artemis shouts, but doesn’t even bother trying to escape.
“Five!” The rest of the room is counting down now. “Four!”
Tim settles Zatanna against him, bending his head to meet hers. She can’t help the traitorous whisper in her mind, you’re not supposed to kiss him at midnight.
“Three!”
Robin and Batgirl move closer. Zatanna pretends she’s not watching them. She pretends not to see Robin looking at her and Tim.
“Two!”
A breath away from her lips, Tim whispers, “New Year’s Eve magic, Zee.”
“One!”
They kiss, and Zatanna draws everything she can from it. For the first time, it’s not enough.
Around them, the room is full of laughter and cheering, cries of “Happy New Year!” filling the cave. She pulls away first – easy enough to seem breathless when it’s still hard to breathe – and sees their friends and mentors embracing each other, spreading the holiday cheer. Wally’s finally let go of Artemis and is trying to lure M’gann with wiggling eyebrows; Artemis finds Kaldur and presses a soft kiss against his cheek. Zatanna relaxes; whatever happens next, tonight was a good night.
Last night, now. It’s after midnight. Time to start the new year.
“Hey.”
She realizes that Tim isn’t holding her up anymore, that he’s shyly ducking away from Batgirl’s advances. Robin’s standing next to her, arms folded tightly across his chest. The Robin uniform is starting to look a little…not right, stretched across his muscles like that. “Hey,” is all she says.
“So.” Robin looks pensive, and she wishes, oh, how she wishes just once that she could see behind his mask. “Um…”
“You don’t…” she says. “We shouldn’t.” Really, they shouldn’t.
Robin seems to decide something for himself, though, because he steels his shoulders and stares down at her. “Yeah, we really should. It’s tradition, right?”
Zatanna swallows harshly, because tradition is the last thing she’s thinking about right now. Besides, tradition for them is to kiss first.
Until this year, it had been to kiss only.
“Yeah,” she whispers, and lets Robin grip her elbows and lean in. “Tradition.”
The kiss is brief and chaste, and Zatanna is seized with panic, because she wants it to be neither.
Neither of them pull away first; they are pulled away when Tim and Batgirl bounce back over to them; the moment is easily broken. There shouldn’t have been a moment to break.
“Happy New Year, Zee,” Robin says. Zatanna pretends he doesn’t sound as rough as he does. “Another year just like the rest, right?”
Zatanna forces herself to nod. “Yeah.”
Nothing about this year will be the same. She knows it.
XXXXX
The fifth time it happens, they finally get it right.
The ballroom looks unreal. It looks real, too, because it is, but the emphasis definitely belongs on the un. Bruce has completely outdone himself this time.
It’s the Wayne Foundation’s annual New Year’s Eve party, which is basically an extension of the Wayne Foundation’s annual Christmas party, which caps a month-long stretch of any-reason-for-a-party December celebrations. The entire room is transformed into a winter wonderland, shimmering ice covering every available surface, while translucent orbs of green and blue and red and silver seemed to float overhead, suspended by microfilaments. Tables were decorated with every conceivable kind of holiday candy – though that was quickly being depleted by the two speedsters in attendance – and, in the center of the room, stood the Wayne masterpiece: a thirty-foot tall Christmas tree. Seriously, Dick willhave to remember to make a special toast for Bruce tonight.
Assuming he’s allowed to give a speech. The guests of honor are the newest members of the Justice League, after all, and they’re not supposed to know who he and Bruce are.
Really, it’s getting a little ridiculous. Batman needs to learn to embrace trust and discard the dis. Or maybe just card the dis. He’ll have to ponder that one.
Right now, he needs to focus on avoiding Zatanna, because he knows that if she sees him like this, as Dick, that she’ll know. And as nice as that might finally be, it’s still a big “not gonna happen” in Wayne Manor.
Which is really stupid, because Bruce insisted on not only throwing this party, but inviting Dick’s former teammates. It’s like he wants the really unsubtle resemblance between Dick and Robin to be noticed.
Well, Dick and Nightwing, now. That might actually go a long way towards hiding him.
“Excuse me?”
Crap. Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap. Dick’s spine stiffens and he turns slowly toward the voice behind him, a voice he knows almost as well as his own by now. Five years is a long time. Putting on his best “Dick Grayson, Wayne Industries heir” smile, he braces himself. “Yes, Miss Zatanna? How can I help you? Congratulations, by the way.”
Zatanna Zatara, newest inductee into the Justice League and the teammate Dick’s never been able to hide anything from, offers her own smile. It’s the mysterious one he’s always loved, the one that says ”I have a secret.”
“I just wanted to thank you and Mr. Wayne,” she says. “This is a lovely party, and I still can’t believe he invited all of us.”
“Yes, well.” Dick swallows, and tries to just enjoy being able to look at Zatanna for the first time without something covering his eyes. His vision is perfect, of course, and he’s never had any problem seeing her; there’s something about just being able to look at her as Dick Grayson, though, that’s different. It’s real in a way he’s not sure he can quantify, and he can quantify anything.
He can. He and Wally tested that theory once.
But. The larger problem remains. As much as he wants to stay and talk with Zatanna, it is pretty much the worst idea ever right now. “Yes,” he says again, blinking himself back into the present. Crap, did she notice him staring at her? “Well, Bruce, that is, he and I both, well, we just wanted to thank all of you for everything you do for the people of Gotham, and the world at large. For all that you’re famous, you don’t get nearly enough public appreciation.”
“Hmm.”
“Hmm?”
“Mm-hm. Hmm.”
Okay, if he doesn’t make a hasty retreat, like, now, Dick is going to end up saying or doing something very stupid. Zatanna tends to have that effect on him. The problem with that, is that she already knows she has that effect on him, but as Robin. Nightwing. Whatever. She knows all the stupid, stupid things he’ll do, all the ways he’ll trip over his own tongue, when he’s got his mask on, and it probably won’t take much for her to put two and two together. She’s a lot smarter than people give her credit for.
No, seriously, what the heck was Bruce thinking?!
“Mr. Grayson?” Zatanna asks, breaking him out of his thoughts again. See? Stupid. “Are you alright? You seem…distracted. Is there something on your mind?”
“Huh? Oh, um. Nope! Nothing! Nothing whatsoever is on my mind. At all. Nothing.” Maybe the Joker will crash the party and put Dick out of his misery. “And please, Mr. Grayson is so formal. Call me Dick.”
Zatanna raises an eyebrow and Dick wants to find a nice rock to crawl under for a while. “Well, then, Dick.” She crosses her arms over her chest and, oh, Dick wishes she weren’t in uniform. That uniform’s always done things to him, and she’s all…grown up, now. She is way too distracting. Why can’t she just be tracting? His life would be a lot easier if she were more tracting.
Why won’t she uncross her arms? And stop smiling at him like that? And can she not say his name like that? Dick can’t think. Dick has to get away.
Dick needs to find a new nickname. Oh, god. Why the hell doesn’t he go by Richard?
Zatanna, bless her sweet, merciful heart, does uncross her arms. But instead of leaving him alone to die quietly, she waves at two seats at an open round table and sits down. “Please, Dick.” Make her stop saying his name! “Won’t you join me for a moment?”
Well, never let it be said that Dick Grayson retreats from battle. He sits down beside Zatanna, and is shocked so suddenly into a memory from a few months ago that his breath catches.
They’re sitting beside each other at the small, round dining table in the cave’s kitchen, Nightwing’s head in his hands as he relays every gory detail of his breakup with Batgirl to Zatanna. Because really, how dumb was he to think getting involved with his teammate, with one of his best friends, was in any way a good idea?
But Zatanna listens, because she always listens, no matter what idiocy comes out of his mouth. And she doesn’t judge him, because she’s just broken up with Tim, whom Dr. Fate has decreed needs additional training to use his abilities. Training he won’t get by joining forces with “a bunch of reckless teenagers.”
Nightwing doesn’t say it, but he thinks that Zatara might be influencing Dr. Fate in that decision.
Zatanna touches his arm, squeezing gently. It’s always been a gesture of friendship between them, but right now, he can’t handle her hands on him. He’s not telling her everything about the breakup; she doesn’t need anything else interfering with her own relationship with Batgirl. Bad enough that she’s caught in the middle between her two friends.
He shakes her off, her skin like hot metal on his. He can’t. He can’t. There’s too much at stake, especially now. With Kaldur…gone, it’s up to Nightwing to lead the team. He can’t afford to be emotionally compromised.
Zatanna’s always compromised him.
“Rob…er, Nightwing?” She blinks, her clear blue eyes reflecting confusion over his actions. God, he wishes he could be like her and just let the whole world see what he feels, but he can’t. He never could, and he’s got to be the leader now. “What is it?”
“I’m sorry,” he says, returning his eyes to the table. He can’t look at her right now, not when he’s dangerously close to doing something stupid. “I…I can’t.”
The confusion in her voice is replaced with something darker. “You can’t what?” she asks. “Can’t lean on your teammates? Your friends? You can’t let yourself be human for once and just feel something?”
It’s an old argument between them, one they’ll never resolve as long as his mask stands between them.
“I feel plenty!” He jumps up; he has to put some distance between them. “You have no idea how much I feel.”
“I would if you would just tell me!” She’s on her feet now, too, glaring at him like it’s taking all her self-control to not turn him into a rodent or something. “When have you ever not been able to just come to me?”
“You’re a distraction, Zee! I can’t afford to be distracted, not now! Not when I have to lead the team.”
Zatanna stumbles back like she’s been slapped. Great. Just…great. “You think you’re not the only one Aqualad hurt?” she asks. “You think I don’t know exactly how badly betrayed you feel?”
Nightwing bites his tongue against telling her the truth about Kaldur, but what’s one more secret he has to keep from her? “It isn’t that,” he says. “But now that I’m in charge of the team, I can’t be…compromised.”
“Compromised,” she repeats, laughing bitterly. “Well, that won’t be a problem for much longer, then.”
What? “What are you talking about?”
Zatanna crosses her arms over her chest, and Nightwing tries very hard not to stare. Yeah, he’s never telling her the real reason he and Batgirl broke up. “Batman came to talk to me yesterday. The League made their decision. Rocket and I are being offered full membership at the end of the year. So don’t worry.” She smirks, a dark, sad thing. “I won’t be around to compromise you for much longer.”
“Hey, Dick?” Zatanna is gently shaking his arm, snapping him out of the memory. “You kind of spaced out there. You sure you don’t want to talk to me? I’m a pretty good listener, even if my friends don’t…always appreciate it.”
Crap, is she talking about him? Well, Nightwing? “Oh?” Yes, that’s good. Nice and casual and totally nonchalant. This is not a time to be chalant.
“Yeah,” she says, and oh, crap, why is she smiling like that? “You seem really…distracted”
“I do?” Can Dick just hide under the table for a while? Puberty was supposed to be over; his voice cracking like that around her is definitely not cool. “I mean, really?” Yes, that’s deeper. Much more manly. “I’m sorry, it’s just so hard to concentrate around you.” He gives her what he hopes is a rakish smile; it’s the one he always sees Bruce give his groupies. Maybe it works on all women.
It doesn’t. Zatanna bursts out laughing. Dick waits for her to stop, but she doesn’t. In fact, she doubles over, clutching at her stomach and trying to stay balanced on the chair. Wonderful. Nightwing isn’t even in her life anymore and Dick Grayson is just a joke to her. This is just perfect. Dick sighs and slumps down, propping his chin in one hand as his arm rests against his knees.
Given the way she’s still laughing, he’ll be here a while.
After what seems like forever (his watch tells him no more than a minute has passed, but whatever, time is relative), Zatanna finally sits back up. She wipes at her eyes, actual tears of joy having leaked out at his expense. Well, that’s a little bit okay. She doesn’t laugh enough, Dick knows that. At least he’s done her some good, then. She opens her eyes and looks at him. They’re shining she’s smiling brightly, in a way he hasn’t seen in far too long. Dick finds himself returning the smile. It feels much better than the faux-Bruce one.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “But that was just such a Wally line.”
Dick’s jaw drops open before he can stop it. “Bwuh?”
Zatanna chuckles, her whole demeanor softening, and Dick would do just about anything right now to make her look at him like that forever. “Dick,” she says. “I know.”
What?! “What?! I mean, uh, what are you talking about, Miss Zatanna?”
Okay, he could do without the snorting and the eye-rolling, because if this is the moment when she’s seriously telling him what he thinks she is—
“Dick,” she says again, exasperation mixed with fondness in her tone, “Batman told me when he invited me to the party. Actually, Bruce told me. Not that I didn’t figure it out before then, but hey, not my secret to tell.”
No, seriously, Dick’s world is tilting on its axis right now. “I don’t…what are you saying…” This can’t be right! Bruce would have told him!
“You started appearing as Dick Grayson, Wayne heir, in public more often this year.” Zatanna rests a hand on his arm. It still burns, but right now, Dick would gladly be consumed by flames. “You did that charity circus thing, remember? Did some acrobatics and told the press that you were a gymnast in school?”
Dick nods, remembering that event quite well. It was as close as he’d ever come to defying Bruce’s wishes by participating, but nothing will ever stop him from helping make a circus a success.
“Yeah, well.” She rolls her eyes again and quirks her lips in a half-smile. “I’ve worked with you as Robin for four years and Nightwing for most of this one. You’re not subtle.”
Bruce is going to give him hell for the rest of his life for this.
“I…”
Zatanna sighs and reaches inside her tuxedo jacket (oh wow it didn’t use to be that tight don’tlookdon’tlookdon’tlook) and pulls out a folded piece of paper. She hands it over and waits for him to read it.
Dick recognizes Bruce’s handwriting immediately.
I told Zatanna. Don’t worry. But I promised an old friend she would be taken care of.
The world slips slightly further off-axis, and Dick finds he’s pretty much okay with that. He raises his head and looks for the first time, looks into her eyes as himself. There’s nothing left but to do it, then. “Um…hi, Zee.”
Bright laughter fills the air as Zatanna claps and bumps his shoulder with hers. “Hi, Dick.”
He loves the way she says his name.
“So, I should probably say I’m sorry,” she says.
“What for?” There is absolutely nothing Dick would not forgive right now.
She grins a little sheepishly, and okay, he kind of adores that smile, too. “Well, I knew you were going to be here tonight as yourself, and since Batman told me, I kind of wanted to mess with your head a little.”
A lot of things about tonight suddenly make sense. “Wait a second…have you actually been following me around the room?”
“Yeah.” She laughs again. “It was fun! You’ve looked completely terrified all night.”
“Because I have been!” Dick can’t believe that she’s been screwing with him all night! That’s so…him. “I couldn’t figure out what Bruce was thinking, inviting you and Rocket tonight, so I’ve been running all over the room trying to stay away from you!”
Oh my god, she is the perfect woman.
“But, hang on a second,” he says. Something still doesn’t make sense. “I’m still not sure why Bruce told you. I mean, you figuring it out is one thing. But telling you himself? And not telling me that he told you?”
Zatanna shrugs, and Dick senses the air around them shift. She’s grown more powerful in the last year than in the entire time he’s known her, and he knows that her moods sometimes spread out around her. He wants to take back his question and make her smile again.
“Part of it was to teach you a lesson,” she says. Zatanna gives him a side-eye, and Dick feels himself shrinking back into his seat. “I think Bruce’s exact words were, ‘If he wants to make a spectacle of himself and let the whole world be able to guess who he is, then he can live with the consequences.’”
She leans forward, her shoulders hunching ever so slightly like she’s trying to curl in on herself, and Dick knows that there’s more to Bruce’s reasoning than just screwing with his son’s head. “But I guess it was an old promise he made to my dad,” she says quietly. “When I was officially invited to join the League, my dad wanted Bruce, Batman, to look out for me. He said this is his way of doing that, by making sure I always have a place to come home to.” Zatanna peers up at him through sooty lashes, and Dick has to stop himself from doing something really, really stupid. “So I guess the real question is, do I?”
Dick swallows, because this suddenly feels like every conversation they’ve ever had that wasn’t about what they were really saying. “Do you, what?”
“Have a place to come home to.”
Yeah, Dick’s going to do something stupid. But it’s okay, because for the first time, he gets to do something stupid with Zatanna as Dick Grayson. That makes all the difference.
His eyes never leaving hers, Dick leans forward, his mouth hovering just above hers. He waits there, lets her decide if they’re going to be stupid together, and when her lids slide shut, Dick closes the gap between them and kisses her for the fifth time.
Except it’s really the first time, because this time, the kiss is real, and the kiss is them.
She’s soft, is about the level of thought Dick’s capable of right now. He presses against her, letting everything Zatanna wash over him. She’s soft, and the air around them is warm, and Dick is happy, and it’s like the last five years suddenly make a lot more sense.
They can’t be kissing long (it feels like forever; it’ll never be long enough) before they pull apart. They’re in public, after all, and as much as Dick hates it, it’s probably not the best idea in the world for people to see Dick Grayson making out with a superhero. That’s something a little too easy to trace.
Or maybe everyone will just think that Wayne men really can have any woman they want.
Not that he has Zatanna. After all, it’s New Year’s Eve, and they always kiss on New Year’s Eve.
Oh, god. Does she think this is just tradition between friends? Does Dick have to actually say something?
Zatanna’s cheeks are flushed, and Dick has pretty much given up on getting rid of the Wally-grin he’s sure he’s wearing. At least smiling like an idiot might help hide the panic that’s building. He really needs to say something—
“Hi,” Zatanna says, almost shyly.
Dick swallows, but yeah, still grinning like a fool. “Hi.”
She looks up at him, the shy smile turning into something warmer, more open. “So…yeah?”
Huh. Okay, then. “Yeah.”
They sit together, shoulders gently brushing while they smile like they’re the only people in the room. Dick isn’t sure how long they stay like this, but he’s definitely feeling the aster tonight. He’d be totally okay with feeling like this forever. But all good things must end, and Dick has almost forgotten that the woman he’s falling for (fell a long time ago for) is still Zatanna, and she basically lives to make him a crazy person.
“So.” Zatanna’s eyes are sparkling with mischief, and Dick knows that she’s going to be the death of him, because her tone when she speaks leaves no room for interpretation about what she means. “Dick.”
He groans and shuts her up with another kiss. Hey, this could end up working out nicely. “Whatever you’re going to say,” he tells her when they pull apart, “don’t bother. Just assume that Wally’s already made all the jokes. Ever.”
Zatanna’s laughter sparkles like the crystalline balls hanging overhead, and damn, she really is going to make him stupid with feelings. “Fine, fine,” she says. “Ruin all my fun.”
“I’ll show you fun.” He grabs her around the waist and pulls her in again, perfectly content to just keep kissing her until midnight, and then long after, too. This is definitely the best way to celebrate New Year’s. Why haven’t they been doing this all along, again?
Wait a second…
Pulling back, Dick has to chuckle at the disappointed little pout she doesn’t hide quickly enough. He is so the man. But there’s a very important point that needs clarification before this can continue. His pride won’t stand for it otherwise. “You really figured it out from a few minutes on the news for a charity circus? I didn’t even do all that much!”
Zatanna sighs and rests her chin on his shoulder. She looks at him, her eyebrows pulling up and letting her eyes reveal just how silly she thinks his question is. Well, that’s insulting. But she lifts her head enough to press a kiss against his cheek, then moves over maybe two inches to let her lips hover over his ear, her breath tickling the nerves there and okay, maybe he’ll forgive her.
“Dick,” she whispers. “You are really not subtle.”
He has to laugh. “But I’m a ninja!”
Their old joke makes her laugh as well, but she pulls back, which, no, Dick would rather she didn’t do that. “You are,” she concedes. “You’re just also really noticeable.”
“So, you’ve been noticing me, huh?” Man, what is with him and the Wally lines tonight?
“Oh, shut up!”
Zatanna slaps at his chest, but Dick grabs her hand and folds it into his. He looks down at where their fingers are twined together, taking the sight in. She’s got great hands, small and delicate, but deceptively strong. They’re magicians’ hands, equally adept at fooling an unsuspecting audience as manipulating raw power. He’d like very much to keep holding them.
Yeah, she’s definitely going to kill him with feelings.
His watch beeps, and Dick pushes up the tuxedo sleeve enough to look at it. “Huh,” he says, smiling at her. “It’s midnight.”
Zatanna’s face melts into something Dick doesn’t have the brainpower to describe. He just knows that he needs to kiss her again. Like, now. So he does.
When they pull apart, the room is cheering and singing, champagne corks popping across the room. Dick rests his forehead against hers, breathing her in. “Happy New Year, Zee.”
She smiles as she kisses him, pecking her lips against his once, twice, three times before leaning her head on his shoulder. “Happy New Year, Dick.”
“So,” he says, rubbing his thumb over her skin. “Think tradition will hold?”
“I think so.” Zatanna squeezes his hand. “I’ve got a very good feeling about this year.”