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He was a ghost.
The thing he feared most and now he was one.
Stupid Yang and his stupid 'iron sharpens iron, sensei sharpens student.' For all he cared, that saying could be pounded to pieces by him, sent to the Cursed Realm, and finally be murdered by Sensei Garmadon. Stupid Yang's haunted house too, for being so punctual. Maybe he should have just aimed to destroy all the house's clocks instead of the ghosts.
The worst part was that he couldn't even kick anything, or punch a wall in frustration. His hands and legs just went straight through and he would end up on the ground, which just had to be the one thing that was solid. Even worse was that it still hurt!
The Bounty had picked them up from Yang's house, Ronan hitching a ride too, but it seemed he was planning to stay. Even better.
Wu and Misako had been shocked to see that he was a ghost, and Nya had been sympathetic. He had just looked down and mumbled something about going to his room. He heard the others fill the crew in on everything, speaking in hushed tones when they got to talking about Cole's transformation into a ghost.
Sighing, he just trudged to his room. When he'd reached the door, his hand had instinctively gone to the doorknob before going straight through, and he sighed again, even more dejected as he walked into his room without opening the door.
The first thing he did was sit on his bed, holding in tears because he was supposed to be the strong one, and he doesn't cry. Even when they thought Zane was dead, he refused to let himself outright cry, except for one time when he was completely alone.
That was before, of course, he realized that he could actually sit on his bed instead of just floating straight through like with everything else. Curious - and to distract himself - he got up to test what other things he could do as a ghost.
It soon became a test of what he couldn't do as a ghost.
A frustrating few hours later, Cole went back to sitting on his bed, taking refuge in knowing that there were some things he could still do, like sit on his bed, as simple as it was.
Night came fast, and soon Nya was knocking on his door.
"Cole? Zane made dinner."
"I don't even know if ghosts can eat!"
"You'll never know until you try. Cole, just… open the door."
"I can't even do that Nya. My hand just goes straight through."
"Then you come out here."
"Sorry, Nya. I think I just need some time alone. You go enjoy Zane's cooking. I'm not hungry." Under his breath, he added, "I don't even know if ghosts can get hungry."
He heard footsteps shuffling outside, as if Nya was hesitating before leaving. Cole just sighed, once again, flopping back onto his bed, now laying down.
He closed his eyes, trying to sleep, expecting to be exhausted after being up all night. That's when he realized something. He was wide awake.
Even the others had needed to take a nap so that they'd last the day without dropping out cold. Yet despite being up for almost 36 hours, he was perfectly fine. Which begged the question… do ghosts sleep?
And if they didn't, what was he supposed to do for 12 hours, unable to play video games, watch tv, or even read! Desperate to find out for sure, he still tried to go to sleep, hoping that maybe if ghosts didn't need sleep they still could if they wanted to.
After much tossing and turning restlessly, he gave up, reduced to just lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Once again, he had to stop himself from crying.
Of all the ways to face your fears, this was the worst. Mostly everything he'd loved to do was now taken from him, taunting him with every glance he took around his room, as if saying 'I'm free for you to use, if only you could touch me.'
He ignored the wet spots appearing on his cheek. Of all things he could still do, of course one of them had to be crying. The realization only made the tears flow freer, and this time he did nothing to stop it.
Minutes passed, and the tears eventually slowed, then stopped, while he stayed curled up on the bed.
He wasn't entirely sure what, but something inside him told him to go out into the hallway for something. With nothing better to do, he wiped his face and got up, walking over to the door. His hand reached out for the doorknob, but he stopped it just before it would've gone through, realizing what he had been about to do.
Instead, he steeled himself and merely stepped through the door, eyes closed until he peeked into the hallway, on the other side of his door. Looking left and right, he tried to figure out why he was out there, trying to find the reason that his instincts had told him to come out here.
Finding nothing, he dropped his head, slightly disappointed even if he didn't know why. That's when he saw it.
Beside where he was standing, on his left, slightly to the side of the door, there was a tray of food, likely from the dinner that Zane had made. With it was a note, in neat handwriting saying 'you'll never know till you try', which told him exactly who had left it there. The faint smile on his face faded as he realized what this might end in.
While he was grateful for Nya's kindness, it might backfire. He might not be able to eat it at all, and just be subjected to even more rejection. This was similar to the sleeping problem; he wasn't hungry exactly, despite not having eaten anything since dinner the day before, when now it was night the next day.
But looking back at the note, he thought about the other side of it. About the fact that he might be able to eat after all, and still enjoy all his favourite foods. The problem was how he would be able to pick up the food to try it in the first place.
Well, he'd never know till he'd try, he supposed.
Crouching down, he tried to pick up the food.
Miraculously, he was able to pick up the dumpling, and laughing in triumph, he tried to take a bite. The second he had taken a bite, the dumpling had changed to the same colour as he was now as a ghost. Surprised, he dropped the dumpling, before realizing that he had actually been able to take a bite and chew it and most importantly of all… taste it!
And it was amazing! He appreciated Zane's cooking even more as a ghost it seemed, and he happily picked up the dumplings in his arms and walked into his room, munching on them, so preoccupied that he hadn't even hesitated before walking through the wall.
He quickly finished the food, licking his fingers, not leaving any part uneaten. For a brief second, he made a plan to beat the boss level of his video game before doing a bit of late night weightlifting, then going to bed. He got up, then sat back down as soon as he realized what he'd just done. Or rather what he couldn't do.
Laying back down, he sighed for the millionth time that day, focusing on the lingering taste of dumplings in his mouth.
Somehow, it seemed that he had fallen asleep at one point, because the next thing he knew, it was morning.
He didn't feel tired, but yet he could remember just thinking about how he would beat the boss in his video game once he found a way to play it while laying on his bed staring at the wall then… nothing.
Either way, the thought lightened his mood a bit. Knowing that sleep was an option for escape but also simultaneously not something he needed so he'd never get sleepy.
"Cole? You in there?" Kai's voice was slightly muffled through the door.
"Yeah?"
"We're about to go train? You coming?"
Feeling better now after finding things he could do, he decided to give it a go. "Yeah, I'll be there in a minute."
"'Kay."
Getting up, he hesitated before walking through the door, then to where the training equipment was. Jay was already there, talking to Nya and seeming to show off. Kai was warming up with some punches on the training dummy, Wu pouring tea in the corner while watching him, Zane doing target practice with some shurikens he'd found.
Nya was the first to see Cole, turning to smile at him. She was about to say something when Jay interrupted her.
"Just because you're a ghost now, doesn't mean you have to be a ghost and disappear!"
"Give the guy a break, Jay." Kai stopped punching and walked over.
"Good to see that you have joined us." Sensei Wu spoke up, taking over the class now that all his students had arrived. "Now, you must all practice fighting without your elemental powers. Let's start with some obstacle courses. Line up in front of the equipment…"
Long story short, he ended up retreating back to his room.
Fed up with being unable to touch anything including his friends, he went back. Not that him staying would have done much anyway, he just went through everything. Training wasn't really training.
Wallowing in his sorrow, he just sat on the edge of his bed, staring off into space.
Until Nya knocked on his door again, some time later, and came in to talk to him.
Why had he skipped training?
They were on the Wailing Alps, preparing to use airjitsu - or as Jay called it, Cyclondo - to fly through the Blind Man's Eye and reach the Cloud Kingdom. He couldn't even really control his mech as a ghost yet he was somehow managing, out of pure necessity.
Yet now, it seemed Morro - or one of his Ghost Warriors, at least - had sent an avalanche their way. He wasn't entirely sure how he'd done it, but Cole had somehow managed to make a body of snow and save the others.
Making sure the favour from before was repaid (you catch/save me, I catch/save you), he realized what he had actually done. Possessing snow, of all things!
Spirits lifted and curious at what else he could do, he tried to test his limits just like in his bedroom, but this time in the field. He thought about what he'd seen Morro and the other ghosts do, and found himself in Zane's Ice mech.
'Wicked' he thought, using the mech to climb up the side of the mountain, making up for lost ground quickly. Even Kai's cheesy ghost puns didn't do anything to change his happy mood.
They caught up to Morro, and Cole left the Mech for Zane to use, fighting the ghosts with the others. They were almost blown off the cliff at one point, but managed to escape narrowly off the bridge. The Blind Man's Eye was almost there, and they all rushed before they missed their window of opportunity.
Only problem was, Cole had never practiced airjitsu.
Kai went first, shouting down to Cole that he'd catch him, that 'brother sharpens brother' and whatever. But all Coe could hear was the fierce winds screaming in his ears, whipping his hair around his face. He made the mistake of looking down.
All he could think about now was how he would be blown off the mountain and die, falling a long way before it happened. His breath quickened, and he started hyperventilating, looking back up at the receding portal, taking away their opportunity with it.
Then Kai said something that made him smack his forehead in embarrassment. "You're a ghost! Ghosts can't die!"
One other perk of being a ghost, he supposed, adding it to the mental pros and cons list he'd made of being a ghost. Keeping in mind the fact that he couldn't die, he tried to imitate what he'd seen the others do.
He blinked.
He was doing airjitsu. He was actually doing it! He flew to the top of the mountain, then hesitated, not knowing how to land. That's when he found out that his brothers made a pretty effective cushion, if not an uncomfortable one.
Running through the portal before it left, Cole was still grinning, proud of himself and his newfound abilities in airjitsu, and as a ghost.
Maybe being a ghost wasn't so bad after all, especially now that he could hold things. Like video game controllers. And he could possess things too. The pros list was starting to outweigh the cons.
He hated Morro now more than ever.
After finding out that the Cloud Kingdom controlled everyone's destinies - including Lloyd's which had also pissed Cole off at these guys - and his own being tampered with as a result of Morro, he blamed the ghost for his own transformation. Knowing that things hadn't meant to happen that way gave him some sort of…
peace? No, not peace, but closure.
And of course something to direct his anger and frustration about being a ghost towards something, aka Morro.
He just made sure to bottle up all of it so that the next time they faced Morro, he would be at his best, a strong drive behind his every action.
Cole added being able to transform into a key to his pros list, as incredulous as it was.
They had just narrowly escaped becoming dinner for some kind of monster who may or may not have been the Master Writer thanks to him being a ghost which apparently meant that he could act as a key for a locked door.
"I'm starting to like you as a ghost more and more." Kai said, clapping Cole's shoulder in thanks. He just nodded in reply, and they all raced to stop Fenwick and Morro from getting the second clue.
But Kai's words echoed in his head. Why? Because something about the simple sentence had planted a seed of doubt in his mind.
"Like you as a ghost more and more." "Like you as a ghost…"
"Like you as a ghost more…"?
He knew he was probably needlessly stressing about it, but he couldn't stop thinking about what the sentence had actually meant. Of course, Kai had said it as telling him that he appreciated Cole's newfound talents, but was there something more behind it?
"Like you as a ghost more…"
Did it maybe mean that Kai liked him more as a ghost than a mortal? Had Kai not liked him before? Was he measured by his usefulness and now that he was more useful as a ghost, he was more liked?
He shook his head.
No, impossible. They'd all known each other for so long. Grown so close.
He suddenly remembered another time when - he couldn't remember who said it or who had made him think that someone had said it - but a time when they'd said his elemental power was the most useless. That earth was just dirt and rocks.
Did Kai think that too? Did the others? That he was useless?
Another thought came to him. Was he just a tool to be used? Now that he was a ghost and therefore more 'useful' were they just using him and his abilities? So many times he'd saved them because of his strength or his elemental abilities. Now, he saved them with his ghost abilities too.
Was that all he was in their eyes? A way out?
He stopped where he was.
Where were these thoughts coming from? He cursed his traitorous brain for trying to make him doubt his friends, his family. He was not just a tool for them, not just muscle or skill that they needed. And they weren't like that for him either. As much as he'd saved them on multiple occasions, they always did the same.
Maybe they were just paying back the favour, not wanting to be indebted to you.
He told the voice to shut up.
Even if it was nagging at the back of his mind, he ignored it out of faith and belief in his family and also because there were more pressing matters at hand. Morro was in the Cloud Kingdom.
The pros list kept growing, almost outweighing the cons at this point.
Before becoming a ninja with elemental powers, there were many times in Cole's life when he had dreamed of having the power to be invisible. When he was younger, because he thought it was a cool power; as he grew older, because it was a good escape.
And now he actually could.
But of course, he couldn't enjoy it immediately because there was a bad guy needed to fight. There was always a bad guy he needed to fight.
This time was different though. As always, he had his team/ family at his back, but now even though he was a ghost, he'd learnt to accept it. There wasn't a way to change it, so he might as well live with it, if not enjoy it. Being a ghost wasn't actually that bad, as he had come to learn. Sure there were some things, but what had initially stopped him was now not a problem. He had embraced his extra abilities that came with being a ghost, like going through things, becoming other objects to help his team, and now invisibility.
His family was accepting too, so that didn't affect him. He could always trust them to have his back, no matter what he was.
He was still Cole, Black Ninja, Spinjitsu Master of Earth.
Just a ghost now.
And that was okay.