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Gene and Finny were twenty four years old and had been together for nearly three years by the time Gene’s older brother Thomas introduced them to their (Technically just Gene’s but Thomas had considered Finny a part of the family for a while now) new niece. She was the first girl born in the Forrrester family in a long time, and she was also asleep more than she was awake during the day. Gene found her amusing more than anything, and more often than not he was quite uncomfortable being around such a small human.
Finny absolutely fell head over heels for her and quickly became motivated to spoil her rotten.
It was a pleasant surprise to Gene. Not that it wasn’t something he should have expected from Finny. There was not a soul on earth that Phineas couldn't connect to and find some good in. There was also the fact that Finny was naturally good with kids. Gene himself was the baby of the family in every sense of the phrase, and while Finny was an only child, he had a lot of younger cousins and nephews. Gene knew Finny liked kids but for some reason he didn’t expect Finny to form a deep bond with his niece as soon as she was born. But alas. He now found himself in situations where he had to watch Finny hold up two frilly newborn dresses, compare them in his head with a facial expression that looked as if he was solving the world’s hardest math equation, and then decide to just buy both of them anyway because it’s what she deserves.
There was just something about Finny, the man who went at anything with 110% effort and zero calmness, gently cradling a small infant and whispering sentiments of love that could melt Gene’s heart into a puddle.
From the moment the two visited the baby a week after her birth to the moment she started to babble Gene found himself a frequent viewer of the ‘Finny doting after a baby as if she was the heir to the throne’ show. It was something that humored both him and his brother.
“He’s really latched onto her, you know?” Thomas said to Gene one visit that came close to Christmas. The three of them (Thomas, Gene, and Thomas’ wife Rachel) sat by the brightly decorated tree while Finny held the small baby in his arms and proudly showed her every toy and gown that he and Gene bought her.
“Yeah, he has.” Was all Gene said in response as he found himself unable to tear his gaze away from the softness in Finny’s eyes. He was also unable to hold back the fond smile that formed on his face.
Her name was Dolly and Finny wasted no time in coming up with some sort of nickname for her. “My Dolly doll!” He would exclaim with genuine enthusiasm as he walked up the porch steps, arms already outstretched. Dolly, unable to figure out the structure of words and sentences yet, could only beam brightly at her uncle and bounce up and down as she extended her arms.
Gene was always more of an afterthought in the greetings, with his brother telling Dolly to give her uncle Gene a hug too, but he never minded it at all. In fact, he enjoyed letting Finny have all the adoration and love. A couple of years ago jealous Gene would have been resentful as all gets by the sight of his niece preferring Phineas over him. Nowadays Gene can’t help but wonder how anyone could ever be jealous of Finny when he smiled as wide and as genuine as he did.
Thomas and Gene were relatively close brothers growing up, the age gap wasn’t too big for there to be an issue. It wasn’t until Dolly was born that Gene realized he had been visiting his brother more these past two years than he ever had previously in his life. It was a pitiful realization and while it can all be forgiven to work schedules and busyness he still felt ashamed of himself. After all, it was his brother who would always call to check up on him and never the other way around. And when his mom and dad turned their backs on him for his ‘lifestyle choices’ (as they put it so eloquently) Thomas was the one who stood by him and supported him double. Thomas was the one who welcomed Finny with open arms and called him his ‘extra brother’ after just one visit. So while Finny found a new joy in giving his love to his little Dolly, Gene found himself enjoying time spent rebuilding a new and lasting friendship with his older brother.
***
Thomas would let Gene and Finny babysit from time to time, much to Gene’s horror. He loved Dolly, he really did, but he hadn’t the slightest idea how to care for a baby for more than ten minutes. For Finny though, it was a piece of cake. Gene could only watch as Finny played make believe with the toddler, with stories and voices so convincing he almost fooled Gene himself. He watched as Finny cut up Dolly’s food into fun shapes and explained each one to her as she held one up to eat it. He watched as Finny tucked the little girl into her bed and softly, ever so softly, pressed a kiss onto the top of her head and told her he loved her and would always be there for her. Gene watched and watched. And with each interaction he saw he couldn’t help but think about how good of a dad Finny would have made.
***
There was some confusion in the beginning because nobody really knew what label to give Finny when explaining his connection to the family. When she was young and couldn’t understand words that well, nobody gave it any consideration. But once she started to learn about sentences and family trees, that's when Thomas became a little bit concerned. He was a little sheepish when he asked Finny about it over the phone one evening.
“She’s started to figure out names and such. She calls you Uncle Finny around the house,” Thomas said, his rambling a sign of his nerves. “I’m sure you’ll notice it when you come to visit soon.”
Thomas could only hear the smile in Finny’s voice as he responded. “Oh I don’t mind that at all. Not one bit.”
“Rachel and I were thinking and we just wanted to run this by you and Gene, I’m sure he’s near enough for you to ask his input…if she ever asks or if we ever need to explain, we were just going to tell her you're Gene’s best friend and sometimes you live together. We figured that was the easiest explanation for her, at least for now while she’s young.”
There was a small beat of (almost) silence on the line where Thomas could barely hear Finny relaying the message to Gene. An enthusiastic huff of breath rang through the line as Finny returned. “I told Gene and we both think that’s a good idea. If she ever asks, that’s what we’ll all say. It isn’t even like we’re lying anyways, you know?” Finny jokes and Thomas felt relieved.
But Dolly never asked for clarification so no one ever offered. There didn’t need to be any explanation. He was just Uncle Finny, and she loved him very much. That seemed to be all she needed to know.
***
There was one summer day in June that Finny and Gene came to visit. It was getting close to Dolly’s third birthday and for the past half hour she had been listing off gift ideas to her uncles. Gene was only half heartedly listening for two reasons.
He didn’t really even know half of the toys that she was listing off
Finny was literally beside him literally taking notes down and dutifully listening (Something he never did in class, mind you)
It wasn’t until Finny asked Dolly to pause her thoughts for a moment so that he could excuse himself to the bathroom that Dolly stopped talking. She looked at Finny with a quizzical look as he started to get up and nobody noticed how that look deepened as she saw Gene hold out a hand to help him be sturdy.
Finny was halfway to the back door when Dolly blurted out, “Uncle Finny, how come you walk funny?”
It was a hot summer day but the question instantly chilled the atmosphere. Immediately Thomas jumped into action, “Dolly! You do not say things like that to anyone. Do you understand me?” He said much louder than he probably intended to, the situation clearly throwing him off a bit. Gene was sure it wasn’t just him that heard the waver in his brother’s voice.
Gene felt his tongue turn to putty in his mouth. Thomas and Rachel knew about Finny’s leg issue but not about how his leg was broken in the first place. It wasn’t something neither him or Finny felt necessary to tell his older brother and wife. All they knew was that Finny broke his leg twice, the second time earning him an expensive trip to the hospital and some heart troubles free of charge, and that now he walked around with an almost invisible limp. It was so faint that walking down the street nobody would probably notice it at all. Unless they were a curious three year old who observed everything, then they’d notice it right away.
It had been years since Devon and only a couple of years since Gene truly came to terms with what happened and allowed himself to accept Finny’s forgiveness. And in that time he also learned to forgive himself. They didn’t ignore it, they didn’t think that would be healthy. But it still wasn’t Gene’s favorite subject in the world. And hearing his three year old niece bring it up in front of her family wasn’t on the top of his bucket list nor his bingo sheet.
Dolly, clearly shocked and betrayed by her father’s outburst towards her, responds as well as any three year old would. She started to cry.
That was enough to jump Finny into action. “No no no, it’s alright. Really, it’s alright Thomas. I don’t mind her asking about it at all. Not one bit.” He said while hustling back over to Dolly and securing her in his lap so he could comfort her better.
No one else really knew how to handle the situation so Finny had three pairs of eyes watching him. If he noticed, he didn’t show it. He started to comb down Dolly’s hair with one hand while rubbing small circles on her back with the other. She was already calming down quite a bit. Once she was only hiccuping a little, Finny spoke again, “I fell down and broke my leg when I was young. I broke it twice. And it’s better now but that’s why I walk a little funny.”
“You fell down?” Dolly asked with wide, frightful eyes. “I fall down all the time!”
Finny smiled with reassurance. “I fell from a big tree, and then I fell down a long staircase. I think you don’t have to worry about that. But you should still be safe and pay attention, okay?”
‘Pay attention for friends who jounce you out of a tree,’ Gene’s mind acidicly thought against his better judgement. ‘Pay attention for friends who will host a trial over your first injury and upset you so much that you fall down a stairwell.’
“Mommy says when you fall down a lot you can be called clumsy.” The absolute mispronunciation of the last word was comical enough for Thomas to laugh at his daughter and Gene watched as Finny laughed along with him. Dolly cracked a small smile. “Are you clumsy uncle Finny?”
“I’m afraid I am.” Finny said resolutely and even with a hint of faux regret which causes Gene’s head to ache.
Dolly nodded in response. And even though the situation was over Gene still felt ickier than he had felt in a long time. Thomas and Rachel moved on quickly and started to pick up the mess of plates around the table while Finny found it safe enough to take a bathroom break. Gene sat still at the table for longer than was considered normal, staring blankly at the small chipped corner closest to him. When a hand gently clasped on his shoulder he jumped.
“Are you alright?” Finny asked. His head was titled to the side and he was squatting enough so that he could be eye level with Gene. There was concern and protectiveness clear as day in his eyes and instantly Gene knew his answer. He smiled. Finny smiled back.
“Yeah, I’m alright.”
***
When Dolly was four she was enrolled in a daycare. She still had one more year to go before starting elementary school but Rachel and Thomas felt it was time for her to meet kids her own age. So off she went to daycare. And she loved it.
Every visit from Finny and Gene was filled with words of adoration towards her teachers and peers. Once Finny teased her about replacing him and finding a new best friend, to which Dolly quickly turned serious. “You’re my bestest best friend Uncle Finny.” She had said it so earnestly that Finny didn’t have the heart to tell her he was only joking. All he could do was nod. Though, it didn’t stop Gene from chiming in. “What if Finny is already my bestest best friend?”
Dolly glanced at Gene with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Finny can be both of our bestest best friends but only one of us can be Finny’s bestest best friend.”
Suddenly there were two sets of eyes watching Finny, awaiting his answer. Finny clearly didn’t know how to answer the question without stepping on anyone’s toes. Though, Gene hoped Finny knew that he was only teasing him and already knew how Finny cared for him. But Finny was never one to notice things like that. He took almost everything at face value, and so he was incredibly awkward towards the whole situation.
“I love both of you very much.” Finny finally resolved to say. Gene smirked. It absolutely wasn’t enough and Dolly agreed so too. “That’s not what I was talking about.” She said with more assertiveness than any four year old should have.
“Okay then you’re both my bestest best friends.”
“That’s cheating.”
“Is not.”
“Is too.”
“I’ve known Finny longer than you have.” Gene quipped, interjecting the tedious argument. Dolly crawled her way into Gene’s lap and poked his cheek. “Well I’ve known Finny my whole life.” With dramatic emphasis on ‘whole.’
Touché.
“Finny and I live in the same house.” Gene countered.
“Finny gives me cuddles and kisses.”
Gene raised his eyebrow at that, ‘Oh really? If only you knew…’ he thought to himself. With a glance over Dolly’s shoulder he could tell Finny was thinking the exact same thing, if the pink tint on his cheeks and shaking of his shoulders was anything to go by.
“I guess you got me there.” Gene said with fake sadness, throwing a wink towards Finny’s direction when Dolly wasn’t looking.
***
“Daddy said I can take swimming lessons when I get a little bit older!” Dolly greeted Finny and Gene with as they got out of their car. She hadn’t even waited for the car to be fully in the driveway (something that every single adult has scolded her about and yet she still does it) before she came to greet them.
“Is that so, Miss Dolly Doll?” Finny asked as he effortlessly picked her up and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. “Yup!” Dolly said happily. She smiled at Gene as a greeting since there was absolutely no way she was going to give up her cuddles with uncle Finny at the moment. Gene smiled back.
Gene followed behind the them as they walked towards the porch. “Finny used to be a great swimmer.” Gene tried saying casually but his voice grew tight near the end. ‘Still would be a great swimmer if...’
“That’s exactly why she wants to do it.” Thomas piped in as he stood at the top of the steps waiting for his company to reach him. “I mentioned sports to her and she asked if Finny did any. The only one I knew of off the top of my head was swimming.”
“Yeah!” Dolly started. “I wanna be just like you uncle Finny!”
“Well how about that?” Now it was Finny’s turn to try and sound casual but Gene knew him better than that. And if Finny had to set Dolly down for a moment just to quickly wipe his eyes and smile at Gene then that was nobody’s business but theirs.
***
One time Gene and Finny had gotten into a massive argument. It was trivial, truly in hindsight, but in that evening it was enough to cause Gene to walk out of their house and tell Finny not to bother staying up for him.
In his anger Gene hadn’t thought through his plan that well. The only place he felt he could gain any sense of comfort in was his brother’s home. For it was just barely late in the evening and they’d all still be up. So that’s where he went.
Perhaps he should have called and warned his brother and Rachel ahead of time. Because as soon as Thomas opened the door he was met with his younger brother staring at him numbly with bloodshot eyes with eyelashes still wet from tears shed earlier in the day, and with a slight hunch in his posture, as if he had been completely defeated. Immediately he went into protective mode.
“What happened? Where’s Finny?” Thomas asked in a stern voice that Gene hadn’t heard in a long, long time. Even though it’s been a while he still wasn’t phased by it. “Finny’s the reason why I’m here.”
That didn’t do anything to ease Thomas’ worries. “What did he do? Gene you better be honest with me or so help me-”
“Uncle Gene!”
Both heads snapped to look into the foyer where a joyous Dolly was standing in the doorway holding a popsicle in one hand and a stuffed teddy bear (that Finny had gotten her) in another. Her mother was quickly behind her with an apologetic expression on her face.
“Hey Dolly.” Gene mustered as happily as he could. If Dolly noticed his melancholy she didn’t feel the need to express. In fact, she felt the need to dig deeper. “Where’s Uncle Finny? Is Uncle Finny there? I want to show him my new bedsheets mommy got me!”
Somehow the simpleness of his niece wanting to show his partner, her uncle, new bedsheets was enough to break him. Gene had to turn around and walk to the nearest porch chair so as to not let the girl see or hear his sobs.
He could hear his brother directing his wife to distract Dolly for a little while and soon enough he watched as his brother sat down in the chair next to him. His demeanor looked cool enough but the clenching and unclenching of his fists was enough to give him away.
“I’m fine Tommy.” Gene said. He heard his brother scoff. “Could have fooled me. You show up at my house looking as gloomy as I’ve ever seen anyone look and then you say Finny was the cause of it. Now I’m wondering if I should head to your place now or later.”
“No Tommy, just stop.” Gene started. “It’s not just Finny’s fault. We just…shit, it’s so stupid now I guess. It was just an argument that got out of hand and I needed some space.”
“It doesn’t look like some argument when you’re sobbing on my porch.”
“Well I didn’t plan to sob but what Dolly said got to me. I don’t know.” Gene felt like a moron for trying to put his reaction onto a toddler but it was true in its own way. Before he was frustrated, tired, and drained. Nowhere near the need to cry. But there was something about what Dolly said that struck a nerve in him.
“I can’t describe it. I really can’t. Do you ever just feel some way inside you, or think some type of way, and it all makes sense to you until you have to say it out loud. And then it makes no sense? Well that’s how I feel about this.”
“You can at least try? Preferably before I pass away from old age?”
Gene shot him a dirty look and only received an amused grin in return. At least he was starting to feel better and less likely to attack Finny now.
“It’s just…I don’t know. I guess I just realized how important Finny is to her. He’s not just important to me and my own life, he’s not just…with me. He’s a part of my family. He’s Dolly’s uncle, at least to her and all of us he is. And coming here without him, after having such a stupid fight, just felt wrong all of a sudden once she asked for him. It’s silly. It really is. It just made me realize how big of a role he has in my life, in yours and Rachel’s, and especially in Dolly’s. And how I can’t imagine him out of the picture. And I guess it just made me feel even worse about fighting with him.”
There was a moment where Gene watched as his brother’s face softened a notch. “He’s not out of the picture is he? You said it was just an argument.” His voice was apprehensive and Gene could tell he was preparing to comfort Gene in whatever way he needed to.
Gene quickly shook his head. “He’s not. Well, at least I think he’s not. We argue sometimes. Not a lot, but still. I’m sure you and Rachel are like that too. I just hope he never leaves. I don’t know Tommy, I feel like such a sap saying all of this to you.”
“Ain’t nothing wrong with sharing your feelings.” Thomas said while placing a hand on Gene’s shoulder. “But I do think you should say it all to Finny instead of moping around over here.” There was a pause in the conversation for a moment before Thomas added, “What was it even about anyways?”
“Well I suppose I started the whole thing.” Gene said with a shrug. He had planned to continue speaking but his brother beat him to it.
“I figured. That’s what you’re best at.”
Thomas laughed as he expertly dodged one of Gene’s half hearted slaps.
Despite Gene telling him not to, Finny did wait up for him. In fact, Finny was sitting on the front porch with a quilt throw blanket wrapped around his frame as he watched Gene walk up the steps.
Their apologies came at the same time and both were quite sheepish with each other. It was easy enough for them to forgive and forget. It always had been. And when Gene tells Finny later that night while laying his head on Finny’s chest that Dolly wanted to show him her new bed sheets he felt Finny hold him just a tad bit closer.
***
“Mommy and daddy told me about Valentine’s Day.” Dolly offered while drawing a red heart on her paper. “And mommy told me about making Valentine day cards.”
“Oh really?” Gene asked while coloring in a star he made yellow. It was a rare night where Thomas and Rachel asked for a babysitter so they could go on a date. That part isn’t rare, the rare part is that Finny also isn’t here. He was spending this weekend back at his parents’ visiting his extended family.
“Really.” Dolly replied happily. Gene hummed in approval and the two continued to color side by side. “Is that why you’re drawing a heart?” Gene asked after a minute or two had passed. He was trying to get better at conversations with the young girl.
“Yup.” Dolly said. “I’m practicing.”
“Practicing for what?”
“I’m practicing for when I make my valentine day cards. So the hearts will be perfect.”
Gene smiled at her sweetly. “They already look perfect to me.”
“You’re saying that cause you’re my uncle.” Dolly quipped with a disapproving frown on her face. “Look,” she said while pointing at a slightly sad looking heart at the bottom of the page. “I messed this one up. The lines don’t even connect.”
“It adds charm.”
“You say weird stuff sometimes Uncle Gene.” Was all Dolly said in response.
“Mommy said that Daddy is her valentine.”
“Really?” Gene said without thinking too much. He was just idly listening at this point.
“Yup! Because they’re married.” Dolly giggled at the last word and Gene couldn’t help but laugh with her. “I suppose that makes sense.”
“Do you have a Valentine?” Dolly innocently asked. Gene didn’t show any reaction except for the small halt of his yellow crayon. “I don’t believe I do.”
Dolly didn’t seem satisfied with that answer but shrugged anyway. “Maybe Uncle Finny will ask you.”
Gene couldn’t help but blush at that and cross his fingers that Dolly didn’t notice. “I don’t think that will happen.”
“Why not?”
“Well I don’t know.” Gene lamely supplied.
“Uncle Finny says he loves you. And you’ve said it back before. I’ve heard you. ” Dolly said without any hint of judgment in her voice. Instead she had already gone back to color in a heart purple this time. “And Mommy and daddy say they love each other and they’re each other’s Valentine.”
“You can love someone without being in love with them.” Gene said, fully aware that he possibly could have phrased that better, in a way that a young child could understand more. He tried to clarify. “Like, I love your dad because he’s my brother. And he loves me. But not in the same way he loves your mom.” That probably just made it even more confusing.
But Dolly seemed to have understood just fine what he said. “Do you know that Finny isn’t in love with you?”
‘I do actually know that Finny is in love with me and I am with him, but you shouldn’t know that.’ Gene unhelpfully thought to himself. He didn’t exactly like where this conversation was going. He had gotten better with handling Dolly and her childlike ways but this time there was no one else to rely on as a crutch and he was drowning in the weight of this responsibility.
“Finny’s a boy.” Gene stupidly said, knowing that he sounded exactly like his father, but he hoped that maybe that would answer her concerns. When he was her age it sure would have squashed his. He vividly remembers both of his parents making sure he knew exactly what was “right” and what was “wrong” in society. And not that Gene expected his brother to tell Dolly that homosexuals were evil, but he had hoped somehow she understood where he was coming from with this and would end the conversation. Or else he might just cry right in front of her.
That got Dolly’s attention. She set her crayon down and looked at Gene with a slight frown on her angelic face. “So?” Was all she asked. As if Gene’s statement was useless and meant nothing to her. As if there has never been hatred towards ones who are different from others. As if love had always been equal in every sense of the phrase.
Gene felt the overwhelming urge to hug her, to get on his knees and pray to whoever’s listening to never take her innocence away, to never let her meet the bitterness and hatred of the real world. Instead he picked up his crayon and drew a new star. “I guess we’ll have to ask Finny if he has a Valentine.”
Dolly only hummed in response. A few minutes had passed before she spoke again. “I’m making Uncle Finny a card when I get home.”
Gene smiled. “He will love that.” He knew without a doubt that the card would immediately find itself plastered on their fridge. Considering the fact that Finny has kept every single drawing Dolly has ever made him stacked neatly in his desk drawer.
“Do you think Uncle Finny would like pink or red hearts for his card?”
“I think Uncle Finny will like whatever you decide to make him.” Gene said without a hint of irony. But after receiving some nasty glares from his young drawing partner he relented, “But he does really like the color pink.”