Work Text:
*Jess*
"Happy Birthday!"
Jess knew that she didn't have the most... consistent relationship with Pamela Isley. There were times when she was sure that Pam felt something not negative towards her. Especially after a successful protest when Pam would scrunch her lips in an effort to tamper her smile. Or when Jess said something particularly amusing and Pam would quirk her lips as she passed by.
"Maybe she didn't hear us? ...Happy Birthday!'
But of course, those times paled to all the other times Pamela clearly stated that she hated Jessica Cruz's butt. Forgo all the times Pamela would ignore her texts or greetings- there were times when Pamela would stare at her with complete and utter hatred usually when she was doing mundane stuff like eating her lunch (a salad, of course) or talking to one of her friends.
"Err, Babs- Jess looks a little...mad? Sad? Smad?"
"Smad isn't a word, Hal."
"No one asked you, Karen!"
"Ugh, I hate when you say my name like that-"
So truly, Jess shouldn't have expected Pam to acknowledge her birthday. She really shouldn't have. It was a hope that would surely lead to disappointment. But it still hit harder than expected when the morning passed without Pam even casting her a side-eye.
All of her friends were loud..! Obviously, if Pam didn't know it was her birthday from the beginning she should know by now-
"Jessica! Are you alright?"
Jess snapped to attention, finding Diana and her friends looking at her curiously from where they sat at the lunch table. Barry, Garth and Hal (the only boys who stuck around after congratulating her) where standing, also staring at her.
They all shifted their concerned gazes from her to her salad- which she speared so fiercely it tore clean through.
Pushing her lunch away, she said, "I'm sorry, what?"
"Are you alright?" Diana repeated deliberately.
Bobbing her head eagerly, she said, "Yes! I'm great!"
"You just stabbed your salad," noted Kara dryly. "Did it make you angry?"
Zee elbowed her but didn't say anything- also curious to hear Jess explain herself.
"I was... thinking."
Silence stretched across the table, not that Jess paid it much mind. She was back to furtively scanning the cafeteria for the petite jerk who refused to acknowledge-
Ah, there she was.
Pam Isley.
When someone walked into a room there is always someone who looks up to see who. A handful of someones. But as that handful checked and quickly dismissed Pam from their ignorant minds...Jess kept staring.
Because... how could you not?
She was absolutely breathtaking. Her full pouted lips, soft seemingly pink hair, and long full eyelashes covered the most amazing green orbs.
But more than that- Pam made the room complete.
And almost as if Jess' stare was a physical tangible thing- Pam's eyes immediately met hers.
.
.
.
*Pam*
Jess wasn't very subtle.
Pam knew that Jess had been eyeing her all day. Pam knew that Jess was expecting something of her today.
But honestly, Jess was always expectant of Pam so really it was easy to deflect. Not. Never could anyone deny Jessica Cruz.
So, Pam decided, that she would greet Jess and get it over with-
"Jess, let's go to Sweet Justice after school to celebrate!"
Pam narrowed her gaze as Jess broke their eye contact to answer Barbara. Hareleen's...friend? Hareleen's important something.
Celebrate what?
"O-oh, sure. I'd like that."
Pam took a step closer. What were they going to celebrate?
"God, you're so old now." The dumb jock (Harry, was it?) teased, tugging at her hair.
Something stuttered in Pam's chest.
A realization.
God, you're so old now.
It was Jess's birth-
"You only turn 18 once!"
So...Jess beaming at her in the hallway, staring right at Pam... waiting for Pam. It was because she wanted Pam go wish her a happy birthday?
They weren't even friends! We're they friends? They were something. Pam couldn't deny that there was something intoxicating about Jess' company. That when Jess ranted passionately it was engaging and cute. That when Jess looked down at her, her hair twirled around her finger-
What was she thinking about again?
Pam brought Phil closer to her face, asking the plant an important question. "Phil, do I...like Jess?"
If Phil had eyes he'd be rolling them if his exasperated 'No shit, Sherlock' was any indicator.
No....shit.
.
.
.
*Jess*
It had gotten worse. Pam was no longer not noticing Jess- she was avoiding her. Ever since her birthday, Pam avoided Jess like the plague.
It was taking a toll on Jess. She couldn't sleep, her anxiety was skyrocketing and she had been craving something... greasy.
At first, when Pam first dodged her, Jess was willing to wait her out. The petite girl might not be in the mood. But eventually, one encounter missed became two. And then three and four and five. And Jess was no longer patient.
She was pissed. Really, very pissed.
So pissed that the books were liable to catch on fire because of her stormy temper. She quietly fumed, hiding behind a library shelf waiting for when she could finally secure and corner Pam.
(Pam had taken to walking through the library to avoid Jess instead of the populated hallways.)
What was up with Pam? Usually, the girl would at least humor Jess for a bit if only to get her off her back. Was she sick? She did look awfully flushed every time Jess nearly cornered her! God, this was infuriating.
She...just needed to know if Pam was OK.
T-then if Pam was still set on keeping Jes from her life... she'll back off. She can take a hint...she can. And...- If Pam hated her so much she shouldn't make her uncomfortable anymore.
Only if. Only if there wasn't a good reason for her avoidance.
There probably was!
But still...
Her body did it before her mind could commit itself to the act. Her arms reached out, pulled the girl into the aisle, turning them both, and effectively caging Pam. Pam had her back against the wall and was blocked a quick escape by both of Jess arms.
A triumphant smile breaks across her face.
She did it!
.
.
.
*Pam*
For a second all she could focus on was the beatific smile Jess wore. Then she saw Jess' smile soften and her eyes focus.
Then she felt Jess' breath all over her forehead and- oh my ivy. She was too close.
Her face went hot.
"What the hell," she hissed, turning her head so Jess couldn't see how quickly she was going pink.
"I wouldn't have done this if you had just- are you ok? Your ears are red, and" Jess spread her fingers on Pam's cheek, "your face is hot."
Was breathing always this hard? Holy-
"I-I'm fine. Just move, you're way too close."
As if just realizing it Jess startled and moved back, but kept her arms braced on both sides of Pam's head. (How was it that Jess didn't notice when that was all that Pam could think about?)
(Feeling this way and knowing that Jess didn't even think of the possibility that Pam felt the way she did pissed her off.)
"What do you want?"
Jess blinked, hurt flashing in those hazel eyes before her gaze narrowed, "I want to talk to you. You've been avoiding me."
"No, I haven't."
Jess stared at her for a second, stunned by her blatant lie. "...yes. Yes, you have Pam. And I want to know why."
She was still too close.
"I've just been," madly in love with you, "...busy."
"That's BS and you know it!" Jess takes her arms back and hugs herself. "Just tell me if I did something wrong. Are you mad at me? What did I do? I don't like it when you're avoiding me like this. You're a very good friend to me-."
Friend, huh.
Friend.
Friend.
Yeah, well...do friends do this-
And without further thought, without permission, without even knowing what she was doing...Pam Isley, a girl who has never as much as held someone's hand in a romantic way, kissed Jessica Cruz.
.
.
.
*Jess*
There is a blissful stage of confusion. Before everything makes sense, no- before that. Before anything exists besides that one emotion.
That emotion, for Jess, was peace.
Before she realized what she was doing and who she was doing it with. Before she can tear back and ask Pam what she was doing even though it was fairly obvious but at least why- Pam pulled back first.
"W-what?"
"I'm not mad," there was an angry insane look in Pam's eyes. "I just don't think I can be friends with you anymore."
Jess, cheeks still hot, was indignant. "And why not?!"
Pam ducked away from Jess and began backing away, "I think it would make me very unhappy."
And Jess finally realized why.
Pam liked her.
Pam liked liked her.
Pam, who loved the Earth.
Pam with those green eyes.
Pam. Pam.
Pamela.
Pam turned to face her, eyebrow quirked.
Did she say that out loud?
"What now?" Her... Pam's lips were trembling in an effort to remain still.
Jess wanted to still those lips with her teeth.
Heat burned the inside of her face.
Oh wow.
Pam started to turn to walk away but Jess latched onto her wrist. She had such a thin wrist. She really needed to eat better-
"Say what you need to say so I can leave."
"You like me then?"
"Anything but that."
"What kind of person leaves after dropping a bomb like that on someone?!" Indignation made her chest swell and she stepped closer to Pam, using her grip Pam's wrist to pull them closer. "You should at least give them a second so they can think of how to react to that-"
Pam looked at her, stunned. Then, annoyed she rolled her gorgeous eyes and said, "Can you just shut up-"
"Make. Me."
Jess was panting with emotion and Pam's eyes were wide and her gaze flickered from Jess' eyes to her grip on the wrist and to Jess' lips.
Jess bit her lip.
Pam stared at her mouth.
They just stood there. Jess swallowed. "B-back to the topic.." What were they talking about again? "Uhm, right..! Well, it's unfair of you-"
"You already said that," a resigned smirk colored Pam's face.
"R-right. Well..."
"I'm not asking you to return my feelings-."
"You're not giving me much of a choice!"
A hand thumped on the bookshelf and they startled guiltily apart and whirled around to see who it was interrupting them.
"Shhh!" The librarian hissed, eyes narrowed before stalking off to lecture some poor kid.
Pam was hugging herself, hands twisting the material of her sweater. "What do you mean I'm not giving you a choice?"
.
.
.
*Pam*
"Well, you are so insistent that I won't return your feelings..." Jess looked at her, unimpressed. "It kind of feels like I'm not allowed to."
"You are."
It's embarrassing how desperate she sounds. But Jess must dig desperation since she grinned, and pulled Pam closer. Hands cupping her cheeks, one pausing to brush her pink hair behind Pam's red ear.
Oh... Jess was teasing her.
That wouldn't do.
So then with just as much purpose as before, Pam pulled Jess down and their lips met again.
This was such a mess. But with Jess so close and soft and pliant under her hands. It's okay. Messy was ok. Right now. At that moment, messy was perfect.