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“Where the fuck are you, Stede?” Ed muttered softly. He had been pacing on the dock for a good ten minutes. He’d expected the other man to have already been there when he arrived. Had Stede been captured? He hoped not. Had he changed his mind? Ed didn’t want to fathom that. After their chat on the beach, and that amazing kiss, he was finally ready to ditch his Blackbeard persona once and for all and run off to China - or anywhere - with Stede.
He paused with the pacing. Truthfully, he’d been ready to give it all up weeks ago. He’d been bored for quite some time now. Then Stede Bonnet entered his life. He had been fascinated with the man from the start. The more they got to know one another, Ed realized it was different with Stede than it had been with everyone else he had sailed with.
Where was he?
Ed stepped off the dock and onto the beach. “Stede,” he whispered.
No answer.
His mind replayed the time he spent with Stede. The sword fighting training, the fancy dress dinner, the treasure hunt. Ed admired Stede for his strength at giving up an opulent life for one of instability. Not to mention getting stabbed - twice.
Stede gave him the opportunity to have…fun. Stede got him to look at life through a different lens.
Izzy’s insistence on killing the man did dampen Ed’s burgeoning feelings for Stede. He hadn’t killed a man since he strangled his father. It was so easy to outsource the act. He came close, though - almost pressing his knife to Stede’s neck - but in the end, he couldn’t do it.
Oh, that fuckery. Stede had no idea the memories the bogus kracken would revisit in him. Lying in the tub - he had never let himself be that vulnerable in front of another person. And yet, Stede stood by him.
Which is why he left Jack behind. He almost fell under his spell again. Some people are hard to let go. Until they betray you like Jack did. Calling for that Act of Grace was the closest thing he’s ever said to I love you.
Ed returned to the edge of the dock and sat down. He took a deep breath. Who did he think he was? He didn’t deserve love. He didn’t deserve anything. There was no way someone of the caliber of Stede Bonnet would ever choose to spend their life with him. He felt the tears forming, bur forced them to stop. Maybe he would cry over the man later.
He lay down and eventually an uneasy sleep took him. When he awoke a short time later, the first rays of sun were on the horizon. He knew what he had to do.
Determinedly, he stepped into the dinghy and rowed away.