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Lucky Day

Summary:

Short little thing based off a Tweet I saw on my TL today:

If Mammon ever did that thing with me where he's like "I got paid let me spend money on you," I'd be like "cool let's go to a tattoo parlor I wanna get lots of new piercings" or "sweet time for a tattoo."

Work Text:

Lucky~ 

So lucky~

Mammon whistled to himself, feeling light and happy. The sun was shining, and his pockets were full.

He was really getting a hang of this ‘living as a human’ thing.

When he rounded the corner, he spotted you walking further up the street. Off to get groceries again?

Perfect~

“Hey!” he called out, jogging to catch up to you. 

You turned, your expression guarded for a brief moment before you recognized him.

“Oh hey, Mammon. What’s up?”

“Not much,” he said, unable to help the smile as he fell into step beside you. “I jus’ found some humans that’d never seen that shell game you showed me earlier.”

“Uh oh,” you laughed out a groan, “how’d you do?”

“I made bank!” He said, so glad you asked. You always knew when he was eager to brag. “You shoulda seen me! It was so easy! I kept stringin’ one of ‘em along with a couple wins here n there it was awesome!”

You rolled your eyes and sighed, “So let me guess. You need someone to help hide the money.”

He paused, smirking to himself. “You’re starting to learn, aren’t ya?”

“You’re not that hard to figure out~”

“Tch.” 

Not that hard to figure out?

Alright.

“Well I was thinkin’ of buying you something.” He said, saying it in a way that seemed like an afterthought while he watched some humans cross the street. “If you want.”

“How generous~ but,” you sighed, “I can’t think of anything I need right now. Lucifer gives me money for the groceries, and Levi buys whatever I need online.”
Playing hard ball, huh? 

“Really?” He looked down at you, “You can’t think of anything?”

The Avatar of Greed offering a human anything, and you consider rejecting it? Again?

You always were interesting.

You brought your hand up to your lip in thought. “Does it have to be a ‘thing’?”

There ya go.

Think about it some more~

“S’long as I can get it,” he said with a shrug, “I’d say it’s fair game.”

“Could it be a new piercing, or-“ your eyes lit up eagerly and you stepped toward him, “How much do you have? Do you have enough for a tattoo?”

“A tattoo?” he repeated, stepping back half a step and putting his hand on his hip. Not what he expected, but not impossible. “Depends. How big?”

You motioned to yourself and where you wanted it.

“If you could get me a tattoo I’d love you forever. I’ve been dying for this one.”

He was well aware you were devoted to Levi, but the sentiment still made him smile.

“A tattoo… paid for the by the Avatar of Greed…” He hummed, “so whenever you see it, you’ll think of me… I like the sound of that.”

“Don’t go twisting this into something it’s not.”

“Why not?” he asked, leaning in close. “I mean, think about it. What would Levi do if he found out I got you a new tattoo?”

The moment he said it, you gasped.

“Holy shit.”

There it is.

He stood up straighter and threw up his hands, feigning a sigh, “I mean, maybe that’s not such a good idea. I don’t want him comin’ after my ass.”

Normally he might have to play this game a few more rounds with a human to get them to bite, but you were familiar with most of his tricks by now.

“How much do you want?”

“75.”

You balked.

“What’s the point of you paying for it now if I end up paying most of it later?!”

He smirked, “I just need to get rid of enough cash on hand that Lucifer doesn’t ask me where I got it. I didn’t say I’d just give it away.”

You scowled.

“40.”

“40? Really?” He shook his head, “60. Final offer.”

“Fine, keep your money.” you said, moving to walk away.

“Wait!” He leaned forward to catch your arm. “Okay, how ‘bout 45?”

Technically that meant he still paid for most of it, but he’d recoup some loss too.

Good, right?

You sighed, then turned back to him with a grin.

“Alright, deal. Let’s go find somewhere to make an appointment.”

“Hell yeah.” he grinned, “When you get it, remind me to buy some booze an’ earplugs.”

“Uh, okay, but why?”

C’mon human, keep up.

He hummed, playing it cool as he took the lead down the street.

“So I can sell ‘em to Asmo when you n Levi go nuts.”

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