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One day I was looking up the meaning of love.
Love
/ləv/
Noun
- an intense feeling of deep affection.
"Friends fill people with feelings of love"
- a great interest and pleasure in something.
"his love for football"
The definition google gave me though was shallow at best. I scolded down more to look for anything else. One result that popped up was
“strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties”
Still didn’t help.
Love itself was a concept and so obviously it had no definition. I knew that of course but I thought it might have been a good place to start. I love my old man and my friends (Though I’d never tell them that) so that was a start, but when I see the way the big oaf looks at Yuzuriha… it’s different from how I feel. He always goes red in the face from increased blood flow when he’s around her. Stumbling his words and waving his hands around was normal. I would ask him why he was doing that.
“I think I’m in love with Yuzuriha,” Taiju blushed. I just glanced at him with a confused expression. “I know it may be a bit early to call it love but,” Taiju only got more flustered.
“Well, you do love her don’t you?” I questioned back. “If you know you love her, why would it be too early to say it?”
He got that look on his face he gets whenever he is thinking about something,” Ha I guess you’re right!” Taiju chuckled.
The big oaf waited 5 years to try and tell Yuzuriha how he felt. Something about being too flustered to get the words out and wanting to do something special to confess. It really didn’t make logical sense to me. If he loved her so much why not tell her?
It still didn’t when I, myself, was confessed to.
I tilted the new telescope up as I stood up. “A guy doesn’t bring up this birthday. How did you know it was today?” I turned to the mentalist.
I half expected him to have his normal shit eating grin but no. His expression was rather soft. “Don’t tell you forgot,” Gen sang. “You did tell me. New year's day?”
“What are you talking…,” I felt like an idiot not noticing it before. “Ohh… so you used a leading question on me,” I realized “Still, you couldn’t have figured it out if you didn’t know when I was revived,”
Gen softly laughed a bit before regaining his composure “Don’t you remember?” Gen asked “You wrote the day your petrification was undone. By the miracle cave as soon as you woke up,”
Gen took a couple of steps to stand by my side and look up at the stars as well.
“Come to think of it… Ever since the beginning, I more than a little liked you, Senkuu chan. Personal gain aside,” That was the moment the meaning of this gift hit me. “ It’s probably the same for the whole village,” Gen confessed to Senkuu looking up at the stars as well. “But know you, you’re going to call this gross,” I didn’t get flustered or wave my arms like Taiju but-
“Heh totally gross man,” I turned away my gaze away from the over the top showmen.
“I know right~,” Gen sang with a smile on his face.
It was quiet for a second as we both looked at the sky.
“Sooo… Are you going to kiss or not?” Kohaku asked.
The mentalist instantly went red in the face. “Do you have to be so blunt Kohaku chan?” He sighed.
“Do you not want to kiss?” I teased.
“Do you want to?” Gen questioned back.
I guess to some our relationship is strange. We just do typically romantic things together. Gen will tell me he loves me and I just respond with
“Yeah,”
Gen and I don’t use the term “boyfriends” but he is always the one I want to show my inventions to. If I get a new idea, I always tell him even though he doesn’t understand anything I’m saying. I’ve had friends before so I understand what platonic feels like. With Gen, it feels similar I guess. I would never think of kissing any of my other friends but kissing Gen doesn’t quite feel romantic either, at least I don’t think it is. Just another way of expressing I care. (Even though Gen kisses me most of the time) It’s kind of wanting to be around the idiot more or less. There really is no set definition between romantic and platonic but-
.
.
.
“Hmhhh?” Gen hummed, leaning in closer. “What are you writing Senkuu chan?” Gen asked.
“Nothing really,” Senkuu shrugged. “Just a way to process things,”
“Something on your mind?” Gen sat down next to Senkuu.
Senkuu took a second to think. “Do you think you’d be happier in a more traditional relationship?”
“Awww don’t tell me you’re having doubts,” Gen sang, but he already knew what Senkuu meant.
“You know what I mean, mentalist,” Senkuu deadpanned. “It’s a logical question. Since we have different experiences with love and all,”
“Yes yes,” Gen waved his hand like he was swatting something. off. “The whole having a oving lay partner and who actually says more than ‘yeah’ when I tell them I love them,” Gen playfully jeered. “But teasing aside, no, not really,’ Gen rested his chin on his hand and looked to the open ceiling of the observatory. “Saying it out loud it may not make sense but when I think about it… I don’t know, I guess, our relationship fulfills everything that I want. Plus, I’d be a shit mentalist not to notice how much you care for me. Not to mention the way you look at me when you think no one is watching,”
“Kohaku told you, didn't she?” Senkuu sighed.
“Yup,” Gen replied. “She sees everything I swear” Gen turned his attention back to Senkuu. “I love you of course and I know you care for me. Plus, you’re one of the few who can understand my underhanded schemes,” Gen lightly flicked Senkuu’s forehead. “Bastard that I am,”
“You can say that again,” Senkuu snickered. “It's just logical that you’d want to be with someone who can love you the same way,”
“Hey,” Gen rested his hand over Senkuu’s. “Don’t go trying to do my job Senkuu chan,” Gen joked. “Besides, I'm not really the most logical person. For hell’s sake, I fell in love with a know it all scientist that looks like a leak,”
“A horrible choice really,” Senkuu playful scoffed. “And how about yourself Gen? A silver tongue mentalist who can lie like he’s breathing,”
“Fair point,” Gen used his pointer and middle fingers to tap on Senkuu’s hand. “I guess that means you're not the most logical person either,”
Senkuu turned over his hand. “I have no idea what you're talking about,” Gen slid his hand and intertwined his fingers with Senkuu’s. Senkuu looked back up at the stars above them.
“Sure you don’t,” Gen hummed.
Gen joined Senkuu and looked at the observatory’s opening. Senkuu used his free hand to tap his shoulder and Gen happily leaned his head on Senkuu’s shoulder. They sat like that and just enjoyed the view outside. The lanterns of the village started to be blown out as the village was calling it a night. Senkuu felt his eyes getting heavier but his head felt lighter.
“Well, ready to call it a night?” Gen asked.
“I’ll join you in a sec,” Senkuu waved off. “Got a few more things to write,”
“If you say so” Gen placed a small kiss on Senkuu’s lips.
.
.
.
There really is no set definition between romantic and platonic so it’s hard for me to understand the difference but what I feel for Gen isn’t purely platonic but not 100% romantic. He tells dumb jokes, is over dramatic, over the top, and knows just how to get on my nerves. But I smile at his dumb jokes because his smile when he tells them. He’s dramatic with a kind of flare that makes it hard to look away. He had an over the top confession but he took the time to learn by birthday and make something for me when he didn’t have to. He always knows how to get on my nerves but I know exactly how to get on his. At the end of the day I know I love him even if it is not like the kind of love the big oaf and Kohaku talk about.
.
.
And with that Senkuu shut the small journal and went to join Gen under the cover of their bed roll. Senkuu slipped in next to Gen and relaxed his head on his pillow. The stars from the open roof were still visible with the moon right in the middle of the view.
“Hey Gen,”
“Hmmmh?” Gen sheepishly groaned. “Yes, Senkuu chan?”
“I’m glad I meet you,”
“Awww almost sounds like a confession there” Gen teased, half asleep.
“You know how I feel already,” Senkuu snickered.
“That I do,” Gen pulled Senkuu in for another chaste kiss. “I’m glad I met you too,” Gen yawned. Put his arm out and Senkuu moved so he’d be resting on Gen’s chest. “Good night Senkuu,” Gen ran his fingers lazily through Senkuu’s scalp.
“Night mentalist,” Senkuu yawned.