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Stage 1: Acceptance
“Hinata-san, does Kageyama-san like cookies?”
“Yes, he does.”
“Hinata-san, would Kageyama-san like it if I gave him flowers?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Hinata-kun, does Kageyama-kun like girls or boys?”
“I don’t know. Ask him yourself.”
Yes, it’s a regular day for poor Hinata, who has to field questions every fucking day from Kageyama’s admirers. They think, since Hinata is his best friend, that he is the perfect person to ask these things so that when they confess to Kageyama, it goes smoothly.
Of course, Kageyama never accepts these confessions. Or at least he hasn’t so far. But this is what Hinata worries about every day. Because Hinata has been wretchedly in love with his stupidly hot and hopelessly oblivous best friend since last year. But has never told him.
It’s complicated, he tells himself. He doesn’t want to mess up their friendship. He doesn’t want to compromise their compatibility on the court.
And, of course, he doesn’t want to be rejected.
So he suffers in silence, fielding questions, watching stupid Bakeyama getting hit on by half the school, dreading the day his friend might actually like someone else.
It’s a sad, lonely existence.
Until one day…
Stage 2: Obstruction
Hinata gets an idea a few months into his second year. He’s going to make the daily confessions to Kageyama as awkward as possible, thus reducing their chances for success.
“Hinata-kun, do you think Kageyama-kun would like it if I wrote him a letter to tell him my feelings?”
“Oh, absolutely! He loves that.” (Kageyama doesn’t even read those letters.)
“Hinata-san, does Kageyama like chocolates?”
“Oh, yes. Can’t get enough of them.” (Chocolate gives Kageyama a headache.)
“Hinata-kun, should I scent my gift to Kageyama-kun with perfume?”
“Oh, yes. As much perfume as you can possibly put on it. He loves that stuff.” (Perfume makes Kageyama sneeze.)
Hinata is quite proud of himself and makes sure to get a good seat to watch as many of these confessions as possible. It amuses him to see Kageyama’s face, the one he makes when he’s angry or constipated, when these poor unfortunate souls come to him with things that are exactly most likely to repel him.
Hinata pats himself on the back for being such a genius, and goes on with his life. At least this situation eases some of his despair and loneliness.
But as with all things, this gets old and Hinata gets bored, and he’s back to feeling sorry for himself and worrying that Kageyama will date someone else.
What’s a guy to do?
He thinks on it a while, and it does take some time given his limited mental capacity, but as with all things, when he thinks about in terms of Kageyama, he can actually be quite smart.
Cue stage 3.
Stage 3: Reduction
Hinata decides that his next step is to reduce the number of confessions Kageyama gets in the first place. It’s a clever plan, really, he thinks. He’ll just say embarrassing things about Kageyama so that it discourages people from confessing to him.
Pure, unadulterated brilliance.
“Hinata-kun, do you think Kageyama-kun would like these nut pastries I made him?”
“Oh, gosh no. He’s terribly allergic. Blows up like a balloon and his tongue swells and you have to take him to the hospital and everything. Now that I think of it, he’s allergic to so many things you can’t even go to lunch or dinner with the guy. It’s awful. Just stay home and watch volleyball all day, really.”
“Hinata-san, I was going to give Kageyama-san these chocolate covered strawberries. Do you think he’ll like them?”
“Oh, gosh, no! Strawberries give him horrible diarrhea. In fact, now that I think of it, there are a lot of foods that give him diarrhea. It’s really a very sad situation. And, you know, stinky too.”
“Hinata-kun, do you think Kageyama-kun would like this scarf I knitted him?”
“Oh, my. Please do not get that anywhere near him. Wool gives him a rash everywhere, even in (whispers) his genitals. Very sorry situation. Really.”
And so this went on for a while. It had two very positive results for Hinata. First, the number of confessions did dwindle down quite a bit. And second, he was doing a very good job of amusing himself. He would lie in bed at night thinking of increasingly outlandish tales and would laugh to himself. At one point he admitted it was kind of not very funny to say such things about his best friend, but, he rationalized, it was Kageyama’s fault for being so stupidly hot and perfect.
After a while, however, Hinata was having a hard time coming up with embarrassing things and was getting bored again, so he started thinking about…
Stage 4: Elimination
This is perfect, thought Hinata when his feeble brain concocted this idea. This would stop confessions altogether, once the rumors made it around the school. Brilliant. Why didn’t he think of this earlier?
The next day he went to school, confident and smug about his plan. When he got his first question of the day, he set his plan in motion.
“Hinata-san, I was going to confess to Kageyama-san with these sweets I made. Do you think he’ll like them?”
“Oooh, sorry. I hate to burst your bubble and all, but Kageyama is dating someone.”
The pretty first-year’s face fell. “Oh,” she said, sounding like a wounded puppy. “I guess I won’t need these then,” she whispered, holding back her tears. “You can have them, Hinata-san. And thank you.”
SCORE! One less confession to his crush AND sweets. Oh, yeah, Hinata was a freaking mastermind.
He went with the “he’s dating someone” line for a while, but that got monotonous, so he started varying it a bit.
“Sorry, he’s hopelessly in love with someone.”
“Ooh, that’s not going to work. See, he’s obsessed with the person he’s dating now.”
And finally, in what Hinata thinks is a stroke of genius, he comes up with:
“Oh, you know, don’t waste your time. He’s engaged.”
And that’s when Hinata’s trouble starts.
***
Kageyama has been noticing that people are saying some strange things to him. First, someone says it was too bad that he couldn’t eat at restaurants. He has no idea what that was about. Then he is eating strawberries and a classmate says, “Oh, no! Don’t eat them, Kageyama! You don’t want to get, you know (whispers) diarrhea.” Kageyama looks at them strangely and leaves the room. One classmate tells him they are sorry about his rash. What fucking rash? And why is everyone acting so weird all of a sudden?
He can’t quite figure it all out, with his one functioning brain cell, until one day, a girl sighs at him and says wistfully, “Kageyama-san, your fiance is so lucky.”
The words make Kageyama’s thoughts come to a screeching halt.
“What? What did you say?” he asks the girl.
“I said, your fiance. She, or he, is really lucky. You know. To be marrying you.”
“What are you talking about? I’m not engaged. I’m freaking not even 17. Why would you think that?”
The girl looks confused. “Hinata-san told me.”
“Hinata? Told you I’m engaged?” Kageyama does not actually believe her.
“Y-yes,” she stutters. “I told him I… I mean, someone wanted to confess to you and he said don’t bother because you were engaged.”
Kageyama is looking at her strangely, trying desperately to decide if she is crazy, or if Hinata actually did say that. He can’t believe it. Surely there was a miscommunication.
Poor Kageyama stews for the rest of the day, until it’s time for practice. He finds Hinata in the club room changing.
“Hinata!” he yells. “Did you tell someone I am engaged???”
Hinata’s back is to him and Kageyama can see him stiffen. He doesn’t turn around but answers in a high, reedy voice. “Um, no, of course not. Haha. Why would I say something like that? Haha.”
Kageyama is not convinced. “Hinata. Look at me.”
Hinata finishes shrugging on his shirt and turns around, but can’t quite meet Kageyama’s eyes.
Kageyama knows instantly that Hinata is lying. After all, they’ve been best friends and teammates for a year and a half.
“You fucker!” Kageyama yells. “Why? Why the fuck would you say that?”
Hinata tries to answer. “Kageyama, I can explain. It was a joke…” Hinata trails off.
Something else also occurs to Kageyama. “Did you also tell them that I have a rash? And that I can’t eat in restaurants? And that I get (whispers) diarrhea from strawberries?”
Hinata turns red and Kageyama has his answer.
“Fuck. I thought you were my friend, Hinata.”
Kageyama says nothing more and Hinata babbles trying to explain. Kageyama just ignores him and goes out to the court. The rest of the team looks on, confused.
Practice is shit. There is no other way to say it. Kageyama refuses to toss to Hinata at all, and the rest of the team is jittery and anxious over the clearly brutal feud between the two.
Ennoshita kicks the two of them out, tells them to go home and work it out before practice tomorrow. Or else.
The duo are silent in the locker room. Hinata finishes changing into street clothes before Kageyama and walks out of the club room after him, even though the setter is ignoring him completely. He follows the silent Kageyama home, looking for words.
“Kageyama, I’m sorry. I just said those things so you wouldn’t accept their confessions.”
“Hinata, I never accept any confessions.”
“I know. But you could. Any time you wanted.” You get enough of them , Hinata says under his breath.
“I still don’t see why you said all those embarrassing things about me.”
“Kageyama, do you know how hard it is for me to watch half the school crush on you?”
“It’s not half the school.”
“Whatever.”
“Why is it hard?”
“If you accepted, things would change.”
Kageyama stops walking and turns to his friend. “Okay, I think I know what this is about.”
“Y-you do?” Hinata asks.
“Yes. You’re worried that if I had a girlfriend, volleyball would suffer.”
“Oh, um. Y-yes, that’s it. Totally it. You got it. Nailed it, really. Yep, it’s amazing how much you totally get exactly why I was doing that. Yessiree.”
“I get that, Hinata, I really do, and I promise you, that is not going to happen.”
“Oh, that is great news. Thanks, Kageyama. So, we’re good?”
“Yeah, just don’t say stuff like that anymore. By the way, what did they mean about a rash?”
“Oops! Look at the time. Gotta go! By Kageyama!”
***
The next night, Hinata requested an emergency sleepover at Yachi’s house. The two always did this when Hinata had a very hard problem he needed to work out.
While Yachi was painting his fingernails, he lamented, “So, he said ‘if he had a girlfriend’ and so that settles it. He likes girls, and I am a hopeless loser who’s in love with a straight guy.” Hinata wants to cry, but he doesn’t want to ruin the face mask he has on.
“Hinata, are you sure that’s what he meant?”
“What else could it mean?”
“I don’t know. Maybe he was just using ‘girlfriend’ as a fill in for ‘girlfriend or boyfriend’ or maybe he’s afraid of what you would have thought if he said ‘boyfriend.’”
“But I’m bi, Yachi, I don’t care.”
“Does he know that?”
“No, but that’s beside the point.” Hinata pouted.
“It is not. Stop being such a drama queen.”
“But Yaaaachi, what do I do now? I’m right back where I started.”
“Hinata, I think you need to confess.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
Hinata really has no reason except he’s afraid. He doesn’t answer his friend.
***
After a week, the duo is back to normal. Well, at least in volleyball. Hinata is still crushing badly and dying inside from unrequited love.
One day walking home, Hinata decides to clarify what Kageyama meant about a girlfriend, just on the off chance that Yachi was right.
“Hey, Kageyama. I know you said you didn’t want a girlfriend right now, but would you ever? Like when you’re a little older?”
Kageyama hesitates before answering. He doesn’t look at his friend when he admits, “Honestly, I’d rather have a boyfriend.”
“Oh,” says Hinata. “Oh.”
“Does that matter to you?” Kageyama sounds worried.
“No, not at all. I think I like guys too. And girls maybe. I don’t know. It’s still pretty confusing.”
Kageyama just nods.
All the way home, all Hinata can think is, Maybe I have a chance.
***
The next week brings a match against Seijoh and it comes down to the last set and the last point when Kageyama comes up to serve. He is confident and composed as he tosses the ball and sends it careening across the net. Service ace!
Hinata is so happy he jumps on the setter, hugs him, and before he knows what he is saying, blurts out, “I could kiss you right now!”
His blood runs cold as the words from his mouth sink into his own ears. He lets himself slide down and put his feet on the ground.
“I mean, um, nice serve Kageyama,” and offers a fist bump. Then he runs off before Kageyama can respond.
When Kageyama and the rest of the team go back to the club room, Hinata is already gone. Kageyama is worried and decides to make the trip to Hinata’s house to check on his friend.
On the way, Kageyama’s single brain cell is chugging hard trying to work out this very difficult puzzle. The trip is long, thankfully, giving him plenty of time to think. By the time he reaches Hinata’s house, he thinks he has figured it out.
Hinata’s mom lets him in and he goes to Hinata’s room and knocks. Hinata, thinking it is his mom or sister, says “Come in.”
“Hey,” Kageyama says simply, making Hinata spin around with surprise.
“What are you doing here, Yama?”
“I need to know. Did you mean it?”
“Mean what?” Hinata asks, despite knowing exactly what Kageyama is talking about.
“About kissing me.”
“No, of course not. It was a joke. It was stupid. Just a stupid joke.”
Silence.
Kageyama continued, “Hinata, why did you really tell those people those things about me?”
“Because of volleyball, you idiot. We already established that.”
“And why did you ask if I ever wanted a girlfriend?”
“Because of volleyball, clearly,” Hinata insists.
“And why did you say you wanted to kiss me?”
“Volleyball, of course, Bakeyama. I just got caught up in the moment. What other reason would there be?”
Hinata dares to look up to Kageyama and then quickly looks away again. Kageyama knows he is lying, Hinata is sure.
Kageyama came nearer to where Hinata was sitting on his bed. “Are you sure, Hinata?” he asks, boring his gorgeous blue eyes into Hinata’s brown ones.
Hinata wants to look away, wants to deny everything, but he can’t lie to Kageyama. His best friend, his crush, his love. He finally breaks.
“Fine!” he almost yells it. “It’s because I like you, okay? He looks away toward the far wall and grips his arms around his torso tightly as if to stabilize himself.
Hinata continues. “I like your stupid smile and your stupid beautiful eyes and stupid hot body and your stupidly amazing volleyball skills. Okay? But you don’t have to like me back and it doesn’t have to get weird. I don’t want to lose your friendship, that’s the most important thing to me.”
Hinata finally stops ranting and takes a deep breath. He waits for a rejection, a polite but negative response he’s been expecting. But Kageyama surprises him.
“What if I told you I think about kissing you too?”
Hinata’s head snaps around so he can look at Kageyama. Kageyama is blushing but looking straight at Hinata.
“I like you too, dumbass. That’s why I said I'd rather have a boyfriend. But not just any boyfriend. You.”
“Me?” Hinata asks softly, still disbelieving.
“Why do you think I turned all those people down when they confessed?”
Hinata answers, “Because of volleyball, of course.”
“No, dumbass, it’s because of you.”
“All this time?”
“Yes. All this time. It’s you Shoyo. It’s always been you.”
There are tears in Hinata’s eyes as he lunges toward Kageyama and hugs him tightly.
“Do you mean it, Tobio? You’re not just playing a joke on me here? To get me back?”
“No, I’m not. I promise.”
Hinata pulls back and looks into those stupidly gorgeous blue eyes. Then his eyes flick down to Kageyama’s lips and back.
“I really could kiss you right now,” Hinata whispers.
“Do it,” responds Kageyama.
They lean in and their lips touch softly and Hinata sighs.
“Tobio, does this mean we’re boyfriends?”
“Is that what you want, Sho?”
“Yes.”
“Me too.”
They both grin goofily at each other and Hinata smiles again. He finally has what he has wanted for a whole year and half. This dumb, stupidly hot, ridicously talented setter was now his boyfriend.
Now, when people come up to him asking him for advice on Kageyama, he can answer them truthfully.
“Don’t bother. He’s dating someone.”
//END