Chapter Text
***
ONE
Andrew was in a good mood. He felt, perhaps, happy, if that was a thing he was capable of feeling. That was why he found himself at ass o’ clock in the night in a jewellery store shopping for a ring. Or a band. He didn’t quite care about the semantics of a wedding, just that it might be nice to have his and Neil’s last names stitched together in whatever order. Andrew can admit that to himself.
The lady working at the store beamed at him, and Andrew felt the inexplicable urge to smile back. He didn’t, of course, but the feeling was strange. Andrew had yet to decide whether it was unwelcome.
‘Hmm, so we have a new stock,’ she said, pulling out a box. ‘The princess cut’s been super popular and the oval one as well. If you want something big and blingy - ’
‘No,’ Andrew said.
‘Alright,’ the shop lady – Sara, the tag reads, agreed, remaining unfazed, and picked another box. ‘Something from here, perhaps?’
Andrew was tempted the shoot her down just to see that smile waver, he’s always been an instigator, but decides against it when a ring catches his eye.
‘That one,’ he says, pointing to it.
‘Ah! This is, personally one of my absolute favourites,’ Sara exclaims, and Andrew almost rolls his eyes. ‘It’s from Riviera and it’s really very stunning. The chain band does all the talking so there’s no need for a gemstone.’
‘Do you take credit?’
Sara blinks. ‘Ok! Yes, of course we do, what was the size again?’
And just like that, Andrew’s the proud owner of a ring.
***
It takes a few more runs to the store for Andrew to work up the courage to propose. Every time he thinks of doing it, the nerves make him sick to the stomach. He ends up driving to the store almost daily to procrastinate and so he’s made – not a friend, he’s Andrew Minyard, he doesn’t get to have friends, but … an acquaintance in Sara.
Andrew tells himself it’s because What if the rings not good enough? What if Neil doesn’t like it? What if what if what if – But he ends up coming out with the same ring every night so the only ‘what ifs’ he’s thinking about is What if Neil says no, and what if I’m not good enough?
The perfect opportunity comes up sometime during one of Neil and Andrew’s rooftop sessions. Neil’s been sort of closed of lately but he hasn’t had the time to read too much into it.
‘Hey, want to go out in the morning tomorrow?’ Neil says in between kisses. ‘We could grab something to eat at like, Chick – fil a or something. It’s been a while.’
Andrew wants to say no just because he likes to sleep in, and also because he read something on twitter associated with the place and homophobia and he supposes he shouldn’t being gay and all. But then he realises that it would be a good time to take out the ring.
It wouldn’t be cliché over a fancy dinner, just something casual at a fast food place. He nods.
***
Its 7:30 in the morning. Andrew feels like he should put more effort into his clothes, because though he gives zero fucks about sentimentality but like he sort of does give a fuck about sentimentality but he doesn’t want to make a thing out of it.
Neil and Andrew get into the Maserati and go to a food place that Andrew didn’t even register the name of but it’s definitely not Chick fil a. He feels like puking so he only orders a coffee and is disappointed when he takes a sip because, ew he forgot the sugar and fuck he hates black coffee.
If he wasn’t so nervous maybe he’d have noted that Neil didn’t realise and that he wasn’t pestering Andrew to eat something like usual.
Andrew’s staring at some foam on Neil’s upper lip and feels unbearably fond and decides to reach into his pocket, but then Neil speaks.
‘Sooo, are you cheating on me?’ he asks, and the fond feelings go out the fucking window.
‘What.’ ‘I mean, you’re not around often,’ Neil continues, unremorseful.
‘I’m not cheating on you.’ ‘Ok,’ Neil says and that’s that but he doesn’t apologise. Apologies have always been so meaningless to Andrew but in that moment he thinks he’d like to hear one.
Trust, on the other hand, means everything to Andrew. He wants to confront Neil but there’s this little thought that’s pops up, like duh he doesn’t trust you, you don’t deserve to question him because he’s way too much more than you were ever meant to have. So Andrew stays quiet, but the next day he goes to the store and returns the ring. Sara gives him a questioning look and jokes about having to shovel talk somebody, but other than that she stays quiet and he feels a bit better.
***
TWO
The foxes just won a particularly hard match against Binghamton, and some of the Trojans had come to cheer them on. Andrew would kill anybody who said it, but he maybe more than tolerated some of them.
‘Good game Andrew!’ Jeremy Knox, sunshine (derogative) fucking personified exclaimed, hovering his hand over Andrew’s back and patting him heartily when he gave his consent.
‘Let the boy breathe, Jer,’ Alvarez, backliner for the Trojans said but she was smiling too, an arm wrapped loosely around her girlfriend’s shoulders.
‘His face is turning red from your thumping,’ Laila Dermott, goalie and an absolute menace piped up.
‘It is not,’ Andrew said, but it was, and if his mouth was quirked up a bit too, nobody said a thing.
***
Andrew walked into the bus, Neil trailing behind him.
The highlights of tonight’s game were playing on the TV Coach had promised to get installed.
‘Neil!’ Dan exclaimed, stopping them from walking to their accustomed place at the back, 'review the highlights with us?'
‘Uh, okay?’ Neil told them, but his tone was questioning and directed at Andrew.
Andrew shrugged and pretended to not care and took a seat alone in the back with everyone reviewing the game in the front. He didn’t mind sitting alone. He actually preferred it, but he had grown used to Neil sitting with him, sometimes with on each other's laps, sometimes not even touching but always just there.
Renee’s eyebrow’s pinched together and she glared disapprovingly at the back of Neil’s head though he couldn’t see, before walking back to Andrew.
‘Walker,’ he monotoned.
‘Andrew,’ Renee replied serenely, before seating herself next to Andrew, making him pause.
'I'm alright. I don't need your pity,' he told her, because if she thought he was lonely that was absolutely preposterous and so obviously not true.
'No pity,' Renee said smiling sweetly. 'Would you be fine with us continuing yesterdays discussion on the likeliness of a zombie to occur, yes or no?'
Andrew blinked rapidly, ‘Ok.’
For the rest of the bus ride, Neil sat with the foxes and didn't look back. It like this for many days to come. It hurt more than he cared to admit, but the pain dulled as he and Renee talked about stupid stuff that they would have as kids if the world was not the way it was.
***
THREE
The foxes were at a banquet of a sort, the only good part was that they were seated near the Trojans.
He wasn’t doing much, just mulling over the last few weeks. Andrew didn’t spend so much time with Neil anymore. Neil still came to make out and stuff, but their ‘relationship’ had never been purely physical till now.
He felt slightly pathetic.
Andrew was prevented from falling into a cycle of self-hatred by a cheery voice.
‘Andrew! Come sit with us?’ Jeremy asked, looking far too pleased to see him.
Andrew looked around, but everyone was too busy in conversation except Renee and Kevin, who gave him a smile and a nod of acknowledgement respectively.
He feigned reluctance, because he still had a reputation to uphold and moved to the Trojan’s table.
‘Where’s Neil?’ Alvarez asked.
Andrew shrugged. ‘Busy.’
‘I swear to the lord, one of these days my fist will meet that boys face,' Laila said conversationally.
'Mmm, square in the mouth or like the cheeks or - ' Jeremy cupped Sara's mouth before she could continue.
‘Ha,’ Jeremy laughed, forced, ‘but like, you know you’ll always have a spot in the Trojans, right? We could always use a goalie like you.’
It wasn’t the first time he’d asked him that, but it was the only time Andrew actually thought about it, but he shook his head ‘no’ anyways. They accepted that.
The rest of the night didn’t pass so very slowly. Andrew felt a bit drunk on the pure joy the people around him radiated, a joy that coated him like honey was and still managed to not be overpowering.
After a bit, Jean came out from the washroom he was hiding in, stumbling a bit like the giant he was. Initially, Andrew hated him for what he’d done to Neil in the nest, but he knew real monsters and knew what his conditions were. In last half a year or so, Jean had also found a spot in Andrew’s heart like most of the infuriating Trojans he hated to admit he was starting to have a thing for.
At some point in the night when Andrew’s lips were loosened from the alcohol he said something probably stupid, but then the whole table, with the exception of Andrew started to laugh. He couldn’t remember the last time someone did that because of him.
And though he didn’t feel so much these days, hearing them laugh felt a bit like dangling his legs of the edge of a roof.
***
+ ONE
It started with Katelyn offering him a ride back to PSU. His first instinct was to – rudely – decline, but he mulled over the idea for a bit, he thought about how Katelyn was Aaron's girlfriend and how they might, even though the idea made him went to fly off the roof, be family one day and got in.
They sat in the car in and awkward silence, until Katelyn tried to break it.
‘How’s criminal justice?’ she asked.
He looked at her stonily to see if she would back away. She did not.
‘Alright,’ he said, ‘how’s Bio?’ Katelyn beamed.
‘Really good!’ She didn’t push after that.
A small creature could just about be made out at this time in the evening.
Katelyn swerved to avoid hitting it and then it was crash, crack, blood, blood so much blood and Andrew couldn’t breathe.
In the haze, he pulled Katelyn down so she wouldn’t slam into the steering wheel. Andrew didn’t care so much about her, but it appeared she was a permanent fixture in Aaron’s life and Andrew cared way too much about Aaron.
He didn’t know what happened next. Somehow, he landed up in the hospital. Andrew could make out Katelyn’s auburn hair with little strips dyed black in the ward next to him.
‘Oh good! Mr. Minyard, you’re awake. So Katelyn here will be free to be let out tomorrow. Just a few minor bruises, you were pretty lucky. I’m afraid that’s not the case with you, sir. You seem to have fractures in the wrist area and a few in your ribs. A vessel has burst in your skull, we’ll have to run some tests for that. It should take anywhere from 2 – 3 days to a week if everything goes alright,’ a nurse spoke, before leaving to attend to another patient, presumably.
Andrew did not have time to digest that piece of information, because a few seconds later all the foxes barged in.
‘I’m going to fucking kill you, Andrew. I thought you were done with car crashes after mom,’ a voice Andrew assumed was Aaron’s accused, with a few curses from the rest to back him up.
He didn’t understand why they were so angry.
‘How could you do that to Aaron, Andrew. I thought the therapy was like, making you more stable,’ and that voice was Neil’s, and everything clicked into place.
They thought that he crashed the car on purpose. And, shit that hurt, because out of everyone Andrew thought that Neil really understood which was so dumb in retrospect because nobody ever understood.
‘No. Fuck you, Aaron. I killed Tilda,’ Andrew said in a deadly tone, spitting the last word out, ‘for you. Because she was hurting you. I didn’t touch the cheer- Katelyn, I didn’t touch Katelyn. Honestly, your precious fucking girlfriend is perfectly fine and she’s getting released tomorrow. Get out of my room, all of you, and go check up on her, I’m so done with you.’
Aaron’s face fell. ‘But-’
A voice cut in, and to everyone’s surprise it was sweet, neutral Renee. ‘He said no,’ her tone was saccharine, ‘and just because he can’t use his knives doesn’t mean I can’t. Get out.’
And the room was emptied, Kevin giving him a searching look before being dragged out by Renee.
Andrew took in a shaky breath, before using his battered hands to search through his pockets for his phone. The screen was badly cracked, and every tap was sluggishly slow, but it worked. He made a call.
‘Hey, Jeremy. No, I’m okay, I’d just like to take you up on your offer to transfer to the Trojans. Yes, now, as soon as you can. Thanks. Yep, I’m fine, I just wanted to thank you, for like everything because-’ and he cut the phone before the pain killers injected into his system could make him say more sappy nonsense.
Andrew was in the hospital, it was a Friday, and he felt really shitty, but some part of him knew it’d be alright soon enough.