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It hadn’t been announced officially, but Take That were getting back together.
Alas, currently it was only for a reunion tour, but they would be together again, and that was the main point. They hadn’t been in a rehearsal room together for ten years.
Gary and Mark had spent time together over those years, totaling to around a weeks worth of time, which wasn’t a lot. Gary had helped Mark with his second solo album, and Mark had popped around a few times to catch up, but that was it.
Gary couldn’t deny that he was nervous, especially with their history. He was comfortable with Howard and Jason but with Mark, he wasn’t sure how it would be this time round.
So he was shocked when he received a text one evening from Mark saying he as outside of his house and to bring his coat. He was reluctant but he smiled as he climbed into the passenger’s seat of Mark’s small Peugeot.
“Where we goin’?” he mumbles, adjusting his seatbelt. He had put on quite a lot of weight, which happened at his lowest point a few years ago, and he hasn’t been able to shift it as of yet. He knows he needs to for the tour…hell; he can’t go out there in front of his fans looking like this.
As much as he’s looking forward to the tour and singing the songs again and having some company with the guys, he was going to miss being able to go out in the street as plain old Gary. No one batted an eyelid at him now, but in a few months that will all change.
He smiles when Mark just shrugs his shoulders. “I dunno really, just fancied a drive.”
Gary nods. He knows there’s underlying connotations attached to that, and perhaps Mark wants to say what’s really on his mind, but he’ll wait, like he has done for ten years.
Mark drives through the back roads of Manchester, humming to the low buzz of the radio. Gary isn’t speaking; he doesn’t know what to say. Well, he does, but he can’t say it now. He has to wait until they’re completely alone.
“Hey, remember this, Gaz?” Mark suddenly pipes up, turning the volume up. Gary zones back into the real world and his ears prick up.
“Jesus, I haven’t heard this since…since, well, I can’t remember,” Gary replies solemnly, tapping his fingers against his knee in the rhythm to Could It Be Magic. “I always loved this song.”
Mark grins. “Rob ‘ates it.”
They fall silent again. Gary doesn’t know what to say to that. He knows Mark and Rob are still close – something he’s envious of – but he doesn’t really want to talk about him right now.
He watches the dark sky whirring past him as Mark takes them into unfamiliar surroundings. There are lots of country roads, long and winding up steep hills, and for a split second Gary wonders whether Mark’s shitty car is even going to make it to wherever they’re going.
He spots a road sign. Oh. So that’s where they’re going.
Gary stays quiet, eyeing up Mark, whose eyes are staring directly ahead.
It’s not long before the silence annoys Gary. “Why are we going to the Lake District? Bit far, isn’t it?”
Mark’s silent again, fingers tapping on the steering wheel along to the sound of Radiohead. Gary glances at him again and he’s frowning.
“Don’t you want to? I-I can turn back…”
“No!” Gary says hurriedly. “I just…want to know why.”
Mark shrugs, for the umpteenth time that night. “I like it here. It’s peaceful. I go here to get away.”
Gary wonders how often Mark takes the two-hour car journey. He knows Mark loves driving and especially loves the countryside but his poor car must take a beating.
He doesn’t mention that they have to be up early-ish tomorrow, that they’re much older now and staying up all night was something they did in their hey day. He doesn’t mention it because there’s no one he would rather be up all night with.
“Are you okay?” Mark blurts out, snapping Gary from his thoughts. He lifts his gaze to meet Mark’s. “’M fine. Why?”
Mark studies Gary’s face briefly, his hands tapping irritably, and he sighs and traces his eyes back to the road. “You just seem…off.”
Gary swallows the thick lump in his throat. “I’m fine.”
“Right,” Mark says slowly, sounding slightly annoyed. He does a sharp U-turn and pulls up next a field. “This’ll do.”
Gary’s scared that he’s upset Mark, and that they’re going to have a fight. That’s the last thing he wants. “Look, I’m sorry – “
“No. Just…” Mark lets his head fall back onto the seat as he unclicks his seat belt. “Let’s not do it here, okay?”
Gary nods and they clamber out of the car. He can’t remember the last time he was in the middle of nowhere – probably back when their tour busses broke down or when Howard read the maps upside down. He smiles as he remembers smacking Howard with the rolled up map until he fell out of the bus.
He watches as Mark fiddles with the huge gate, trying to work out how it opens, before giving up and hoisting a leg up over it. He tilts his head at Gary when he gets to the other side. “You comin’?”
A wave of terror suddenly washes over Gary. He realises how big he is and just how little Mark is. There’s no way he could climb over that and not look absolutely disgusting. Or fall on his face. Then Mark would laugh at him forever.
“It’s okay. I’ll help you,” Mark offers with a massive grin, as if reading Gary’s mind. Gary’s heat beats ludicrously faster at that smile.
He manages to get over in one piece surprisingly, and without any damage. Mark’s hands lingered on his arms way longer than necessary.
They walk in silence for a few minutes, until they reach a spot where they can look down and see the countryside in the distance. Mark sits down first, bringing his knees up into his chest and staring at the darkness.
Gary hesitates before sitting down next to Mark’s tiny frame. He never realised how beautiful it was up here, wherever they are. He can see city lights in the far distance, the outskirts of Manchester, yet here it was eerily peaceful.
He also never realised just how beautiful Mark looks when the moonlight shines on him. Sitting here under the cloudless sky gazing up at the stars.
“I’ve always loved constellations,” Mark whispers. Gary’s gaze never falters. “I don’t know why. It’s just so interesting, you know?”
Gary feels a stab in his heart, and then the warmth enters it. He’s missed this – sitting with Mark talking endlessly about whatever comes into their heads. He’s missed having a real conversation.
“I know,” Gary replies. Mark turns to look at him and Gary notices the sparkle in his eyes, like the stars above them. “I’ve missed you.”
It just comes out. The words have wanted to escape since they met up a few months ago, yet they only just come out now.
Mark shuffles closer, his knees banging against Gary’s. “I’ve missed you too, Gaz. So much. My life hasn’t been the same without you in it.”
Gary nods; he knows exactly how Mark feels.
“Is this…a new start for us? Whatever ‘us’ is, anyway,” Gary wonders, his eyes turning back to the stars above them. He hears Mark hum next to him.
“It’s what I want. I didn’t even want there to be a new start. It should have never ended, what we had.”
A tremor of guilt ripples through Gary.
“I know,” Gary mumbles. He lies down on the grass and Mark follows, resting his head on Gary’s chest. The contact makes Gary’s body heat up and he wraps an arm around his fragile body. “I’m so sorry.”
Mark stays silent. Heck, Gary doesn’t expect him to say anything. He fucked it up back in the day. But they’ve been given another chance – Mark’s given him another chance.
“I’ve never stopped loving you,” Gary whispers quietly, pulling Mark closer to him. He would never have admitted that if they weren’t lying under the stars so romantically. “I just want you to be happy.”
Mark leans up on his arm until his face looms over his. Gary’s heart is beating so fast he’s sure Mark can feel it from above him. He’s never felt so relaxed, felt so right about anything before. Even back in the day, he never felt as good as this.
“I’m happy right now. Here. With you.” Mark’s hair is falling down in front of his face, swinging dangerously close to Gary’s. He twirls it with his finger and then tucks it behind his ear.
“I can’t believe we’re here,” Garry mutters, looking longingly at Mark’s lips.
Mark closes the gap, leaning down and placing a soft kiss to Gary’s cracked lips. He’s been waiting for this moment for years and it feels like everything is coming together. Fireworks are whooshing in the background, his blood is thick and pulsating through him and he can’t let Mark go ever again, how could he have been so stupid?
He feels tears creep their way down his face and Mark’s thumb gently wipes them away. “I’m so sorry,” he repeats against Mark’s lips. “I’m so stupid.”
“We both are,” Mark whispers as he pulls away. “It wasn’t just you, Gaz. It was both of us. But sometimes…Christ.” He runs a shaking hand through his hair and Gary finally sees just how much Mark needs this as well. “Sometimes you need time apart to realise just how much you need something.”
Gary nods. They’ve had too much time apart and now he needs him more than anything. More than a career, more than the band – he needs his Markie.
He pulls Mark down on top of him and clasps his hands around his waist, kissing him with the passion that has been inside of him all this time.
He finally feels complete.
-----
Mark doesn’t mean to go through Gary’s stuff sometimes. It’s not because he’s insecure, he’s just a very curious man who has a small attention span.
But when he comes across some written words on a folded piece of paper, it’s because he’s nosey, a habit he’s recently picked up from Gary.
He re-reads the words again and again, his mind picking up some sort of tune as to how these lyrics might go. He wonders whether he should ask Gary but he thinks Gary will be cross that he went through his things.
The night on the field two years ago suddenly plays in his mind. He can remember how cold it was, but how hot his body was against Gary’s, and how he wiped away Gary’s tears with his thumbs. It was the night that brought them back together physically and mentally, a night that will stay with Mark forever.
“Mark?”
Gary leaning against the door to the studio snaps him out of his thoughts. “What are – are those mine?”
He looks down at the paper in his hands and knows that he really, really shouldn’t have been nosey.
“Yes. I’m sorry, I – I don’t really have an excuse, I just got bored waiting for you.”
Gary’s eyeing up the paper and looking at Mark’s face, trying to figure out his reaction. “Well, what did you think?”
Mark places the paper back down on the desk, fully aware that Gary was watching him. He feels his whole body burn up. “They were great.”
Gary nods, not knowing whether he believes him. “Just great?”
Mark turns around and leans against the desk, facing Gary. “Did you know I had a song called We Could Rule?”
“I did.”
Mark freezes. “Oh. Not many people do.”
Gary nods again and walks over to Mark. “Mark do you know what that song’s about? The one on that piece of paper.”
“I…I probably would if you sung it.”
Gary understands – sometimes lyrics make so much more sense once there’s meaning and emotion behind it. He makes his way to the recording booth and sits at the baby piano, adjusting the stool and placing the microphone where he wants it.
He starts singing and Mark starts to feel light headed, like he did that day on the field, and it clicks into place. He thought the lyrics were too familiar; thought that maybe Gary had copied it from his own song, but this was completely different. This was the answer to them as a couple. We Could Rule was a hope. This one Gary had written was reality.
Gary steps out of the booth, looking more timid than when he went in. “So, now?”
Mark marches forward and wraps his arms around Gary’s neck, speaking with certainty. “It’s about us. How we’re right for each other and we’re indestructible, unlike before.”
Gary runs his hands down Mark’s hair, over his collar and to the buttons on his pink shirt. “Yes. It’s also…it made me think about that time when we kissed after all those years, under the stars and the night sky and…and I had never felt happier. Well, of course I’ve been happier since that day, but you know what I mean.”
“Yeah,” Mark agrees. “Those minutes were the best. And if it weren’t for those minutes, we wouldn’t be here months, years later.”
Gary leans down, stroking over Mark’s shoulders as he kisses him lightly on the lips.
“If you stay with me, Mark, we could rule the world.”
