Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Almost everyone would agree, that whilst Mister A.Z Fell was a perfectly nice man, he was a very odd one. He ran a bookshop and never seemed to want to sell a single book, and in fact, actively discouraging it.

And then there was the giant snake that could be occasionally making its’ way through the aisles.

On the other hand, Mister A.J. Crowley, was not normal in the slightest and was clearly proud of that.

They were clearly married, with three gorgeous babies.

Therefore, people were used to seeing odd things happening around the shop, ergo, no-one blinked an eye when a large, tawny owl flew past.

Inside the home, Aziraphale took the copy of the Daily Prophet from the owl, paying for it and allowing the owl to be on its way. He might not interact with the wizarding world anymore, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to keep up with the news, especially with the war going on.

The headline was bold and caused him to freeze in his tracks.

YOU-KNOW-WHO VANQUISHED BY BABY!

“Goodness me!” he exclaimed, rushing into the living room, “Riddle is dead!”

Crowley took a moment to react, burping Adam over his shoulder, before he quickly shot to his feet (which startled the burp out of the one-year-old). “What?!”

Taking Adam out of his arms and placing him next to Warlock and BB, “Aziraphale handed the newspaper over, watching as Crowley scanned over it.

“A baby?” Crowley hissed, “Impossssible!”

“Hmmm, apparently the fatal curse... bounced right off him.”

“Again, impossssible!”

“Not necessarily.” Aziraphale summoned a book to his hand, smiling fondly when the three babies clapped happily at the action, “Some forms of magical protection do stem from strong feelings... such as a mother’s love.” He gave Crowley a knowing look, even as the demon made a vague noise of disgust.

Honestly, who was he trying to fool?

“If Lily Potter defied him to protect her son, that could have quite easily saved him... even if it didn’t save her.”

Crowley incinerated the paper with a flick of his hands, sticking out his tongue in disgust, “The wizards are going to be unbearable after this.” He muttered, heading over to the window, “Look, there’s one now.”

Peering out of the same window, Aziraphale winced at the sight of a wizard in a violet cloak hugging a nearby non-magical person. “Have they all forgotten that…. Statute of Secrecy thing?”

“Over ten years of war can do funny things to people angel.” Shaking his head, Crowley headed back over to the babies, taking the seat on the floor beside them, “Come on. Keep the shop closed for the door, I don’t think I could deal with all that happiness today. It’s like they’d forgotten that a kid had to lose his parents for this to happen.”

“Yes…. You have a point there.”

………………………………………………………………….

The day passed, and Crowley just found it easier to put the babies by the window so that they could see all the owls flying past, each one making him more and more annoyed.

“Jusssst one angel.” He hissed, “All it will take… issss one.”

“And then I would never get the newspaper or letters again. No.”

“There’ssss been a downpour of ssshooting ssstarsss in the North.” Crowley was still incensed, “If Heaven doesn’t notice, then Hell definitely will.”

“They are just as aware of the wizarding world… if to a slightly lesser extent than myself.” Aziraphale waved his concerns off, “They will put it down to mortals being mortals.”

“I don’t like it Angel.”

“I know.” Aziraphale moved closer, pressing a kiss to the top of Crowley’s cheek, “Their war is over though. This is the last we’ll hear of them.”

“Until another Dark Wizard popsss up.”

“Try not to think about it too much love.”

………………………………………………………………………………………….

Now, you may be wondering how an angel and a demon came to be raising three children.

Well, it all came down to poor planning and bad luck.

You see, on the night that Crowley was supposed to bring the Antichrist to the Satanic nunnery, so that he could be swapped out with a Senator’s child, there were not one, but two couples giving birth there… and one of them had twins.

The Antichrist was supposed to go to the American diplomat family and the other babies were to be left with their parents as the real diplomat baby was quietly disposed of. Except, the second couple didn’t want twins, and so, one child was quietly given up for adoption as well.

Honestly, there were so many baskets and so many babies being shuffled around, Crowley amazed they didn’t mess anything up.

Of course, when the nuns went to dispose of the two spare babies, Crowley thought about that egg he’d left back in his heated tank in the bookshop… and had a moment of weakness.

He was lucky that Aziraphale was so understanding

And so, Adam (Aziraphale) and Warlock (Crowley) were adopted into the fold. Less than a month later, and B.B joined the group

Biology really.

Biology and bad luck.

Parenting in a nutshell.

……………………………………………………..

So annoyed with the wizarding world and knowing that this was all going to backfire on them somehow, Crowley removed himself from the bookshop, not wanting to upset the babies.

How he ended up in Little Whinging, he’d never know, but chose not to question it, striding down the picturesque streets in the middle of the night, taking deep breaths and letting out the occasional hissed curse, which sent no small number of garden snakes scurrying for their lives.

‘Creator!’

He turned, seeing a small snake quickly making its way over to him.

‘There’sssss a hatchling!’

‘A hatchling?’

It was too cold out here for hatchlings…and the wrong time of the year for it.

‘A human hatchling!’

Crowley froze. It was definitely not the temperature for a baby. ‘Take me there’ He ordered, following on behind the snake, until he arrived outside Number 4, Privet Drive. There, on the doorstep, was a little baby, wrapped up in a blanket, a letter placed carefully on top of them as they wriggled.

“Shit.” Crowley hissed, quickly picking him up, frowning at how cold he was, “Shit.”

And then he saw the red, swollen looking scar on the child’s forehead.

“Shit.”

……………………………….

“Left on a doorstep?” Aziraphale frowned, looking down at the baby in his arms, the bookshop quiet as the rest of the world slumbered on, “The so-called Boy-Who-Lived… abandoned on a doorstep?!”

“That’sss not the worssse part about thisss sssstory!” Crowley hissed, brushing the dark hair to one side, to reveal the lightening scar, “That’sss got part of a ssssoul in that!”

Aziraphale felt a shiver run down his spine

The art of splitting your soul and keeping part of it contained in another object or living thing wasn’t new, but it was one of the darkest things a mortal could do.

“H-How?”

Crowley visibly forced himself to calm down, “The mother’ssss sssacrifice probably had sssomething to do with it.” Another deep breath, “I don’t think it wass intentional, but it sshould have been sspotted.”

This was a good point.

Aziraphale had followed the wizarding news for as long as he could remember, and he remembered reading about the great fight between Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald. Surely, someone as powerful as he, would have seen that there was something wrong with this child?

“What do you want to do?”

Crowley looked a little taken aback by the question, yellow, serpentine eyes glancing towards the door where the other three shared a nursery, before sighing, “I’ll get another cot set up… what’s the kid called again?”

“Hari. Hari Potter.”

…………………………………………………………………..

Almost everyone would agree, that whilst Mister A.Z Fell was a perfectly nice man, he was a very odd one. He ran a bookshop and never seemed to want to sell a single book, and in fact, actively discouraging it.

And then there was the giant snake that could be occasionally making its’ way through the aisles.

On the other hand, Mister A.J. Crowley, was not normal in the slightest and was clearly proud of that.

They were clearly married, with four gorgeous babies.

And that was just how they wanted the world to see them.

Chapter Text

Crowley never thought of being a parent.

He didn’t hate children, far from it as they usually got the shit end of the deal in whatever tragedy was happening in the world, but raising them?

No.

And now here he was, sitting in a quaint little living room, as four children slept int their cots. When Warlock let out a little whimper, he reached out and stroked his cheek through the bars, waiting until the one-year-old settled back down. They were all healthy, Aziraphale reassured him of this, but Crowley still had the memories of the plagues that ravaged lands, the horrors that had been done to children over the years.

Hell praised him with the murder of the twins in the tower, and his temptation of King Richard III, but IF he had had been the one to have them killed, Crowley had nothing to do with that.

That was all humans.

“I have the tea.” Aziraphale stated, heading into the room, smiling when he saw how closely Crowley was watching the cots, placing the mug by Crowley’s side, moving to sit on the sofa, watching him watching them.

“Do you expect them to be attacked?” Aziraphale asked softly after around ten minutes of silence, seeing Crowley tense up just a little, the demon not answering.

The silence continued for a moment, before Aziraphale continued.

“Very few can enter these apartments, certainly no threats that we can’t deal with.”

“I know that.” Crowley hissed, “I just… can’t help but worry. We’re outnumbered here you know, angel and demon or not, we are outnumbered!”

“How much trouble can they really cause?”

As if on cue, Harry sneezed and vanished from out of his cot.

“Fuck.”

…………………………………………………….

“Anti-teleportation wards.” Aziraphale sighed, lifting Harry off of the top of the bookshelf, “We possibly should have thought about that from the beginning. It does mean we’ll have to step outside if we wanted to go anywhere, just whilst Harry’s magic settles.”

“Isn’t that rare, even for accidental magic?”

“Very.” Aziraphale’s voice was cheery, despite the gleam of concern in his eyes as he held onto Harry a little tighter, “But it’s nothing we can’t handle.”

“If you say so angel.”

…………………………………………………………

“Is it because of that piece of soul in him?” Aziraphale mused later that night, as they were lying in bed side by side, “Would that explain the power surge?”

“It might.” Crowley hummed, “Especially if it belongs to the so-called Dark Lord.” He looked up at his lover...partner.... significant other, “We can’t destroy it though, you know this.”

“I know.”

And wasn’t that just the truth. Anything to do with a living soul, they couldn’t interfere with, even if it was living inside of an innocent child.

“We don’t have to destroy it though.” Aziraphale pointed out, “We cannot destroy a soul, but there is nothing in the rules that say we can’t.... relocate it to something else.”

“... One of your books? If anybody tried to look for it, they would be hard pressed to find it.”

“And if it has to be destroyed?” Aziraphale frowned, “I’m not ruining my book like that.”

Crowley couldn’t help but smirk at the affronted tone, turning his face so that he could hide it. “So… we put it in the most obscure thing that we can find.” He chuckled, “What about one of those mugs at the back of the cupboard that you never use.”

“… That might work.”

“We shove it to the back, put a few keep out warnings around it to dampen the dark energy and there we go! Problem sorted.”

“So long as it is out of Harry, I don’t care.”

“…As long as it’s not in one of your boo-Ow! Angel!”

……………………………………………………………

Harry was far too young to risk moving the soul piece into another host, so, the anti-apparation wards stayed where they were as Christmas swept through England.

“He wasn’t even born at Christmas.” Came Crowley’s usual complaint, “I hate this holiday.”

“You hate the commercialism.”

“Hmmm.”

Aziraphale chuckled, clicking his fingers to change the music into something a little more festive, which Crowley was quick to change back to his beloved Queen. “We’ll have to think about presents for the boys soon.”

“Hmmm.”

“… What’s on your mind?”

“The Potters were buried a week after the attack…. I found Harry barely 24 hours afterwards.”

Aziraphale slowly closed his book, “He doesn’t have that closure.”

Yes, Harry was a baby, but even babies had some small instincts to know when someone was gone or not.

“It’ll be a veritable tourist attraction angel.”

“We can deal with that.” Aziraphale waved a hand in dismissal, “This is more important. They are his parents after all.” He nodded, “Yes, yes I think this is a much-needed trip.”

………………………………………..

“The amount of wards here are ridiculous.” Crowley sighed, waiting outside the graveyard with the other three children as Aziraphale lifted Harry into his arms, “And look at all those flowers… how many people actually knew them I wonder?”

“Sometimes, it is enough to be grateful for one’s actions. Many people didn’t know soldiers of that those terrible wars, but we wear a poppy out of respect anyway…don’t we?”

“Hm.”

Leaving his partner with the remaining three, Aziraphale entered the graveyard. The earth was wet, but soft as he carefully moved past the gravestones, eyes on the newest one there.

There was still the slightest hint of rain in the air, prompting him to tuck Harry’s coat around him a little more firmly as they arrived at the graves.

“The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death." Aziraphale read out, “1 Corinthians 15:26… how morbid.”

The earth over the graves still looked fresh. When spring came though, there would be grass growing there, and it would not look so new anymore

There probably wouldn’t be all these flowers here either.

Come spring, people would be determined to forget the terrible war that had taken so many lives and start looking to the future.

“I am so sorry.” He whispered to the graves, “I am sorry we couldn’t do more to help you.”

“Mmm.”

He looked down at Harry, who was looking at the graves in confusion, prompting Aziraphale to kneel in front of them, watching as a tiny hand brushed over the carved letters.

“We will take care of him though.” He continued, “Whilst you cannot be here for him, we will be.”

“Mama?”

The quiet little word made Aziraphale sigh softly, looking down at Harry, who was staring at the graves.

“Mama is gone… but she’s watching over you, as well as your Dad.”

It was a hard concept for a toddler to understand, he knew this, but if he had to say it every day, he would.

Their sacrifice deserved to be acknowledged.

Harry was silent for a while, before he patted the stones almost solemnly.

“Bye bye.”

“More like… See you both soon.”

With one final smile, and a small goodbye from himself, Aziraphale headed back to the rest of his family.

Chapter Text

Gloria hated working over the week leading up the Christmas. How many times could you lie to someone and say that yes, it is definitely worth the extravagant prices that they charge here?

Too many times it turned out.

With the war only recently over, jobs were far and few though, and she wasn’t ready to move on just yet. Working in a toy store was crappy, but it was a job and so here she stayed.

They were 30 minutes from closing when the tall, red-headed man stormed into the store, heading straight for her.

“You do baby gifts, right?”

“Yes.” She couldn’t explain the shiver that went down her spine, staring into the reflective glass of those sunglasses and seeing nothing, “Are you looking for anything in particular?”

“Uh… what’s with the houses in that school.” He waved his hand vaguely, “You know… Hogwarts. Can you get sstuff related to that?”

She ignored the hiss in his words, knowing that she probably wouldn’t like the answer.

“We have a lot of baby merchandise relating to the Hogwarts Houses.” She answered slowly, “Parents like to try and influence children early, you know?”

The man shrugged, “It’s all in the baby aisle?”

“Yes…just down there to your right.”

The man stalked away, and was gone for around fifteen minutes, before he returned with his arms laden with what looked like everything in the baby aisle, a mismatch of red, blue, green, and yellow dumped onto the counter.

“We don’t know what house he’ll be in.” The man explained, “And we have three other boys…it’s not like they’ll care if they share clothes.”

“…Right.”

She scanned the baby clothes, onesies of all different sizes and colours, stuffed animals, toys, and bedding, shoving them all into bags, before giving him the extortionate price.

He didn’t even blink at it, pulling some coins out of his pocket and placing them on the table. “Here. That covers it, right?”

There were a lot of galleons there.

“Yes Sir!” Gloria attempted to push a few back to him, only for him to wave his hand in dismissal.

“Keep them, consider it a tip, you know? A Christmas bonus or whatever?”

Gloria was sure she was going to faint, clinging to the counter as he gathered up all the bags and stalked out of the door, where he was gone mere seconds later.

This man… had just paid her rent for the next year.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Aziraphale hummed softly as he held Harry in his arms, using his free hand to not only decorate the tree, but entertain the other three as they crawled all over the floor.

“I know none of you will probably remember this.” He stated, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t make it a memorable experience for you all.”

Downstairs, he heard the shop door open and close, as footsteps made their way up.

BB made a sound of pure delight, crawling over to the apartment door as Crowley came through, a bunch of bags appearing on the sofa as he swiftly bent down to lift BB in his arms in one graceful action.

“Never again Angel.” He muttered, “Watching Noah get all those animals onto the ark was less stressful that watching a red-headed woman trying to corral seven children, SEVEN!”

“Well, we do have four… it’s not that far from seven.”

“And four is what we’re sticking to…. And we didn’t plan for any of them I might add!” Crowley glanced down at the red-headed child resting on his chest, “Yes, even you.”

“Crowley!”

“They can’t understand me!”

“Still!”

BB certainly didn’t seem to understand, slapping his hands against Crowley’s chest. Warlock, dismayed that he wasn’t getting any attention, crawled over to Crowley, tugging on his pants leg until Crowley lifted him onto the sofa as well. He then turned his attention to Aziraphale, frowning when he saw the angel still decorating, “Can’t you just… miracle it decorated.”

“What a waste of a miracle!” Aziraphale shook his head, “Besides, it’s about the experience!”

“…At least put Harry down before you drop him.”

“You worry too much.”

“No, I worry about him getting another scar on his forehead.”

………………………..

“You know I wouldn’t… change all this, right?”

Aziraphale glanced over at Crowley, frowning at the unsure look on the demon’s face,

“This little… group of ours I mean.”

“You can call it a family you know; it won’t hurt you.”

“It might.”

Aziraphale chuckled, “Well, as you feel so strongly about it, I believe BB is about to wake up.”

Right on cue, there was a sob from the other toom.

“You could use those powers for good once or twice.” Crowley muttered, getting to his feet anyway, and heading in that direction.

The cries sounded a little tired, which was odd… considering BB was meant to be sleeping right now, and if he was tired, he was in the perfect place to fix that. Moving slowly, so as not to wake the others up, he pulled his son out of the crib and went to sit in the rocking chair, rocking back and forth as he hummed a Queen song, keeping an eyes on the other babies to make sure that they didn’t wake up as well.

“They always sleep so well in your arms.” He heard a soft voice from the doorway, looking over to see Aziraphale standing there, a fond look on his face.

“They’re not picky about where they sleep.” Crowley mumbled, seeing that BB had settled, and moving to place him back in the cot, unable to stop his fingers from running through the soft red hair that was so like his own, “I don’t even know what was wrong with him to make him cry like that. He didn’t need feeding or changing or- “

“- Perhaps, he just felt a little lonely.” Aziraphale gently interjected, “He is one of a kind after all.”

“...Yeah, maybe.”

It was a depressing thought; one Crowley didn’t overly want to focus on.

“Come on.” Aziraphale tugged on his arm, “I know we might not need it, but a little sleep won’t do you any harm.”

“Yeah…sure.” Peacefully, Crowley followed his lover to the bedroom, shifting into his snake form and curling around the angel for his warmth.

As he drifted off into sleep, he just about saw the snowflakes falling past the window.

Chapter Text

Snow lined the street, a pure white before it inevitably turned into the grey slush of winter. Lights lined the shop front and windows, indicating that Christmas had descended upon them.

Strangers had spent what seemed like hours cooing over the four babies, and Crowley was socially exhausted, eager to get back into the apartment.

“Alright, winter clothing off.” He sighed, taking them out of the pram one by one and getting rid of the heavy coats, the hats and the mittens and throwing them to one side, “Look at all those pink noses!”

Adam took the opportunity to hit Crowley on his own pink nose, making the demon wince.

“Thank you Adam.”

“Ah!”

Aziraphale got the fireplace burning, pulling out some blankets for them to snuggle under or play on. Glancing behind him, he smiled softly at the sight of Adam clinging onto Crowley’s pointer finger, babbling softly as Crowley visibly softened. Letting out a happy sigh of contentment, realising that there was no place he’d rather be, Aziraphale, switched on the twinkling lights.

The apartment looked beautiful.

Tinsel adorned every high up surface (away from the reach of the babies), the tree was covered in baubles that caught the reflection of the twinkling lights, acting almost like a disco ball.

And then there were the numerous presents.

“Pa! Pa!” BB then called out, prompting Aziraphale to turn and scoop the red head into his arms, taking a seat in his rocking chair and settling down for the night, humming softly.

Some might think that having four children to two adults would mean that the pair of them would be overwhelmed with them all, but Aziraphale believed they were dealing with the situation admirably, if he were to be modest.

“I think… today is a mulled wine day.” He mused, watching as the children as started to fall asleep, the days’ excitement and the warmth of the fire slowly getting to them.

“That sounds perfect.” Crowley sighed wearily, “Maybe something a little stronger.”

“We have presents to sort out and minced pies to leave out for Santa.”

“Angel- “

“- Crowley?”

“...Fine.”

…................................................

“You did remember to close the store today?”

Aziraphale chuckled fondly, placing the babies in their highchairs for breakfast, “Of course I did.”

Not that he expected anyone to come into his store on Christmas Day. He knew his hours were a little...out there, but surely no-one would come in?

He clicked his fingers as subtly as possible, making sure that the front door actually was locked, before going to get breakfast ready.

They’d decided to set a tradition by opening presents after breakfast, to try and encourage patience in the children and prevent any rushing around and excitement too early in the morning.

Crowley didn’t have faith that this would last past the children’s fourth birthdays, but Aziraphale believed differently.

They had this situation under control.

He hummed happily, going to check on the Christmas cookies as a grumpy Crowley dealt with breakfast.

………………………….

“Are you sure you didn’t use a miracle on all these?” Crowley frowned as they eyed the pile of presents in front of the tree, “They are all…perfectly wrapped.”

“It’s a talent I wasn’t even aware of.” Aziraphale beamed, “Don’t be fooled though, when all this wrapping presents tradition started, I was absolutely atrocious.” He placed the two babies he was holding on the ground, watching Warlock immediately head towards the presents.

There was a child who knew what he wanted.

“Alright.” Aziraphale took a seat by the presents, gently moving Warlock back over to his brothers, “One at a time now.”

“They’re babies angel, they don’t understand the concept of being fair. Don’t you remember Cain and Abel? Selfish babies and then- “

“- You and I both know what happened with those two was nothing to do with how they were as babies.”

Crowley just shrugged, picking the first present out of the pile, “Warlock first.”

Warlock got a large wooden train (that looked remarkably like the Hogwarts Express) with just enough tracks to make a small circle; some wooden letter blocks in various colours; a little push-along bike he could sit on; a little letter sorting book to help him learn the alphabet; an activity table and numerous other little bits and bobs. When it came to the clothing, it was clear he favoured the green items, pushing at Crowley until he redressed the baby in a green t-shirt with a snake on it.

“Daddy!” He announced, pressing at the snake as Crowley chuckled.

“Yep. Just like Daddy.”

Hari was next, getting an activity car wheel (“Are you going to try and get him to drive the Bentley soon?” “Maybe”); a set of four teddies of a lion, a snake, a badger and a raven; a wooden shape sorting toy; soft cubes that were magical creatures like a unicorn and a dragon; some mermaid bath toys and other little bits. He drifted to the yellow clothing, much to Crowley’s surprise.

“Huh… I thought with his parents being in the lion, red house, he would have liked that colour.”

“Babies are fickle.” Aziraphale chuckled, “He’ll probably like the blue clothing tomorrow.”

Adam got a strange, musical turtle phone… thing; a musical story book (“Why do all these things make a noise Angel?” “It’ll liven up the place!”); a soft toy dog; a colourful tunnel for crawling through; a wooden Noah’s ark with all the creatures and other bits and bobs. He was the one who grabbed at the red clothing, squealing when he saw the lion on the front.

“Apparently all these clothes are enchanted to grow with the children until they’re about three?” Crowley mentioned, “The upsides with magical clothing I suppose.”

“I wonder if they’ll all like the same colour at one point?” Aziraphale mused, handing B.B his presents

“Thank…sugar, they all look very different.”

B.B got some push-and-go cars; a soft toy snake in Crowley’s colours; a floor piano that you stepped on to play the tunes; an activity cube that had shape sorting, bead moving, gear turning fun on it; a little wooden, magnetic fishing game and other knick-knacks. He went for the blue clothing.

“That should keep them occupied for a while.” Aziraphale chuckled, watching as toys were shared amongst them, the babies not overly caring who officially received them, just that they could play with them, “And now, for you darling.”

“…Me?”

“Hm.” Aziraphale reached down by the side of the sofa, pulling out a couple of wrapped gifts, “One is from me and the other is from the children.”

Slowly, Crowley reached out to accept them, carefully opening them up. The present from Aziraphale was a set of very expensive alcohol that Crowley was fairly certain hadn’t been seen for years. The one from the children, was an equally expensive gardening set.

“Angel… you really didn’t have to do this.” Crowley whispered.

“Oh? As though you didn’t do the same?”

Crowley opened his mouth to protest that he hadn’t only for Aziraphale’s eyebrow to raise in almost a challenge. “Fine.” He sighed, reaching behind him to pull out two presents that weren’t as nicely wrapped, but a clear effort was made, “Here.”

“Thank you love.”

Opening them, Aziraphale chuckled at the several pairs of fluffy, socks that said ‘Sssh, I’m reading’ on the soles of them, in various different colours and some bookends in the shape of wings.

“They’re lovely darling.” He leant over to press a kiss to Crowley’s cheek, “I think this is going to be a wonderful Christmas.”

Crowley couldn’t bring himself to disagree.

Chapter Text

Aziraphale loved Paris.

Now… he loved Paris now, especially after everything had calmed down. The summer sun danced off of the trees in the park, illuminating the leaves as they walked under them, the sky painted a vibrant blue above them.

The four children were all two now, with Aziraphale and Crowley having two control of two each as they walked down the streets. The trip was a little treat for the children, a sort of birthday outing, and all of them seemed to be enjoying it.

“T’at one kitty.” BB pointed out to his Dad, pointing up at a cloud above them.

“It is… and that one’s a snake.”

“Worm.”

“Oh, a worm is it?” Crowley chuckled fondly, “I’ll take your word for it.”

BB nodded in determination, before turning his attention to petals that lay strewn across the path.

They continued on in silence for a moment more, before Aziraphale spoke up, “I think… we should all have some ice cream.”

This was greeted with a resounding cry of agreement, as Aziraphale gently led them towards a nearby store, Crowley trying not to groan when he realised that they would probably have to put four hyper children to bed tonight.

…………………………………….

Sunset started to fall on the city, light reflecting off of the river below, colours in the sky mixing together.

The four children were all asleep in the quad pram, a mess of ice cream around their mouths as Aziraphale and Crowley sat on a nearby bench, eating their own treats and staring up at the sky, hands interlaced as they got lost in the moment.

They didn’t need to say that they loved each other.

They both knew.

………………………………………………

“Do they all have suncream on?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure? All over?”

“From the tips of their toes to the tips of their nose.”

“… Are you wearing any?”

Crowley rolled his eyes, “I am a demon angel, I can’t burn.”

Rolling his eyes fondly, Aziraphale chuckled, continuing to lead the boys down onto the beach, all of them wearing new swimsuits and carrying their buckets and spades. They would be finding sand in some very uncomfortable places, but it was nothing that a little miracle wouldn’t cure.

“Warlock, the swimming trunks stay on thank you!”

The two-year-old was going through a phase…a phase that Aziraphale could honestly say that he hadn’t prepared for.

“We are going to have to keep an eye on his shorts.” He informed his lover, who was already sniggering.

As they got onto the sand though, it was clear that the feeling of the sand was enough to distract Warlock from stripping off, his little face twisting in distaste. Thankfully, he calmed down when they got a blanket spread out on the sand and placed him on top of it. It didn’t him from going on a mini baby rant about it though.

BB watched his brother with curiosity, blindly building a sandcastle by his side.

“Maybe getting him in the sea will cheer him up.” Crowley sighed, after almost ten minutes of incomprehensible ranting, “Wash all the sand off of him.”

“That might be a good idea.”

Crowley scooped Warlock into his arms, heading for the water and sitting him in the shallows, where the wavs barely lapped across his stomach. Warlock stared at it for a moment, before shouting in glee and slapping his palms down on the surface, sending the water everywhere.

“Me go?” Hari pointed over at the water, as Aziraphale nodded. They weren’t too far from the others, so there was no chance of Aziraphale losing sight of him.

“Go on then. But be careful and make sure to let Dad know you’re there.”

Hari nodded, rushing over in that direction, closely followed by B.B, leaving Aziraphale and Adam alone on the blanket.

“Just you and me, hmm?”

Adam looked over at him and beamed, destroying BB’s castle to make his own.

With Crowley keeping the children in the shallows of the sea, Aziraphale pulled out his book and started to read, occasionally glancing over at Adam to make sure that he was behaving himself. Occasionally, he would also look over at Crowley and the other three children.

Warlock was still sitting in the shallow waves, as Hari jumped around gleefully, waving his hands into the air, moving to head into the slightly deeper waters, only for BB to wrap his arms around him and pull him back, both of them falling into the water.

Crowley just shook his head and helped them up.

They remained this way until the sun was starting to lower, when Aziraphale called them back over to have something to eat. The four children (three of them wearing towels) sat in a row next to each other, messily eating their little sandwiches. BB was the first to fall asleep, only finished half of his sandwich before resting his head against Aziraphale’s knee and closing his eyes. Adam and Hari tried to protest that they weren’t sleepy, despite their drooping eyelids and increasingly frequent yawns.

Warlock seemed to be the only one willing to go on.

Still, perhaps it was time to go home.

………………………………………………

BB woke up a little bit during his shared bath with Warlock, and only because his brother splashed at him. Still, he needed Crowley to help wash him, trying to shield the red head from Warlock’s water attacks.

Hari and Adam had already had their shared bath and were wrapped in their pyjamas and blankets, falling asleep as Aziraphale tidied up their toys.

“Stop it.” Crowley said warningly to Warlock, “Aren’t you even tired just a little bit?”

“No!”

“Great.”

Despite this though, once out of the warm bath and into his pyjamas, it didn’t take Warlock long to fall asleep, curled up against BB as they all slept.

“That.. was exhausting.” Crowley muttered, climbing into bed with Aziraphale, who simply hummed with a soft smile.

“Would you want it any other way?”

No.

No, he wouldn’t.

…………………………………………………………..

They were back at the store less than a week later, Crowley attending a quick Hell meeting, before heading back home, seeing the four boys and Aziraphale curled up on the sofa.

“Why does doggy hate kitty?” BB asked, snuggling a little closer to Aziraphale, oblivious to Crowley’s presence.

“He doesn’t sweetie. They are very good friends who… disagree with each other occasionally.”

“Li’e Da and Pa!” Adam piped up.

Aziraphale chuckled and nodded with a fond nod, “Exactly, just like Daddy and Papa.” He poked at all of their sides, setting off a chorus of giggling and squirming.

Four children.

There were days long ago when he couldn’t even have imagined having one.

He walked closer, seeing all five heads raise as they all perked.

“Daddy!” Adam cried out, being the first to shuffle off of the sofa and run over to him, little hands reaching up to be picked up. Crowley, of course, lifted him up and span him around, the sound of the toddler’s giggling filling the apartment.

Aziraphale smiled softly at the sight, feeling the other three climbing off of the sofa to get a spin of their own.

“Fancy a spot of dinner?” He asked, placing the book on the side table and getting to his feet, “I was thinking something a bit...zany.”

“Zany?” Crowley smirked at the use of the word, “Can food be zany?”

“Nothing wrong with trying something new.”

“Tomorrow, we can hunt for a zany restaurant.” Crowley lifted BB into his arms next, tiny hands pulling his sunglasses from his face, “Maybe tonight...pancakes?”

The cry of agreement was nearly deafening.

“Pancakes it is.”

“Wi’ choccy chips!” Adam pleaded, “ Wit’ choccy chips!”

“Of course.”

They all raced over to the kitchen, leaving Crowley and Aziraphale behind, as the angel walked over to press a quick kiss to Crowley’s cheek.

“We’ll have to play our parts with the upcoming war soon.” he whispered, “We’ll have to get positions in the Ambassador’s household.”

“With four other children to help influence him.” Crowley rolled his eyes, “We won’t have to do anything, not with these four influencing him.”

“You make it sound like it’s so easy to separate them all into naughty or nice.”

“You have to admit, that there are two of them of are more mischievous than the other two… and that you know exactly which one’s I’m talking about, without me even having to say their names.”

Aziraphale huffed a little but shook his head fondly and pressed a quick kiss to Crowley’s cheek, making his heart flutter in his chest. “We’ll discuss this over pancakes.” The angel decided, “After all, the children should have an opinion.”

“They just care about what’s going in those pancakes.”

“Still, their opinion is important.”

“Yes Angel.”

“Syrup for you?”

“Of course.”

Chapter Text

BB decided, very early in the morning, long after they’d been put to bed and long before they usually woke up, that he wanted a glass of milk.

He would have preferred warm milk, but Papa said he couldn’t use the oven or stove yet because he was too small.

Creeping past his sleeping brothers, clutching a blanket around his shoulders as he shivered in the autumn chill, BB made his way towards the kitchen, freezing when he saw that the light was on, and he heard soft music coming from the room. Peering around the doorframe, he watched as his parents danced lightly across the white tiles, smiling softly at each other as the radio played.

They looked happy.

BB liked it when his parents were happy.

“BB?”

He flinched, focusing to see them both staring at him, Crowley moving forwards and lifting him into his arms.

“What’s wrong? Why are you out of bed so late?”

“Can’t sleep.” He murmured, “Can I have some warm milk?”

“I think we can manage a small glass of warm milk.” Aziraphale chuckled, “But then it’s straight back to bed, okay?”

BB nodded eagerly.

“Alright, come in then.”

Neither of them heard the loud CRACK, coming from outside.

…………………………………………………..

“There are people lurking around outside.” Crowley muttered, staring out of the window as he nibbled on some pastries, “Did you see them when you went to the bakery?”

Aziraphale went to join him by the window, frowning down at the strangely dressed group. “I think they were across the road.” He sighed, “We knew this would happen at some point.”

It was the anniversary of Riddle’s defeat.

“Someone must have gone to check on him… his relatives must have been very confused.”

“They only checked on him a year later?” Crowley scoffed, “I guess we’re not opening the store today then?”

“Oh, but that nice colourful group like meeting here on Sundays.” Aziraphale pouted.

“Angel…”

“We can deal with a few wizards and witches. Nothing bad will happen my dear.”

Crowley still didn’t look overly sure but sighed and nodded anyway. “Alright… but the children are staying upstairs with me.”

“That’s fine.”

……………………………………..

“There are people staring at the shop.” Lola stated a little nervously, looking up from her tea, “Do you know them?”

“I don’t.” Aziraphale poured some more tea, glancing over at the window to see an older woman wearing witching clothing and a little bit of tartan. Beside her was an older man, with a very long beard and a much more colourful sense of fashion, “Maybe they’re a bit lost.”

No one volunteered to go out and help them, the entire group turning away and making a show of not looking out.

“The old one looks like he might be one of us.” Harmony muttered, “Not to make like, assumptions or anything.”

“Well, if they wish to join us, then they are more than welcome.” Aziraphale forced his voice to remain light.

“No children today?”

“They’re all in a bit of a grouchy mood.” He shrugged, “You know how it gets. One child is in a mood, and the rest follow their example.”

They all nodded, the conversation swiftly turning to children as Aziraphale turned his mind away from the strangers outside.

They were safe in here.

They were all safe in here.

“Halloween cookies anyone?”

……………………………………………………….

Crowley had insisted on having some sort of musical influence in the babies’ lives.

They had come to a compromise on the matter, and soon, there was a room with a grand piano in it. Personally, Crowley didn’t think it was much of a compromise until he realised that some Queen songs sounded amazing on the piano.

The children were all a little bored with being forced to be cooped up all day. Thankfully, they were unaware of the cookies, otherwise Crowley would have a riot on his hands.

With Warlock, Adam and Hari transfixed by some kiddie program on TV, Crowley went off in search of his little snakeling, finding him by the grand piano, having climbed up onto the stool as he ran his fingers over the keys.

“Do you want to play it?”

BB shook his head, climbing down again.

“Do you want the CD player on?”

BB just looked towards the window, “They’re here for Hari.” He whispered, making Crowley tense.

“I know.” He murmured, “But they’re not going to, okay? Nothing is going to break up this family.”

BB didn’t look overly convinced, prompting Crowley to lift him into his arms, heading over to the CD player and grabbing one of BB’s favourites, putting it on and pressing play.

As the first violin chords filled the room, Crowley hummed along with them. “Alright kids.” He sighed, “Let’s go and draw or something.”

He needed the distraction.

They all needed the distraction.

………………………………….

Once the meeting dispersed downstairs, Aziraphale headed back up to the flat, settling the children in front of the TV to watch Lion King, as he and Crowley continued to watch the two people outside.

“BB knows that something’s wrong.” Crowley muttered, “Smartie pants as he is.”

“Do the others?”

“Adam’s been sitting closer to Hari... but I don’t know if that’s because BB is tense, or if he knows something’s wrong as well.” Crowley’s fists clenched tight, “I’m going out there... I’m going to make them forget all about this.”

“We can’t interfere like that.” Aziraphale sighed, before humming a little to himself, “Although, there’s no reason why something a little bit of… poor weather might dissuade them from lingering around for much longer.”

“…The weather forecast did call for rain.”

Nothing more needed to be said, as Aziraphale went back to keeping an eye on the babies, practically feeling Crowley’s wicked smirk.

………………………………………..

“I don’t remember the weather forecast predicting this.” Professor McGonagall shivered a little as the rain started to pick up. Yes, they had charms to keep themselves dry, but even this level of rainfall would test that, “Are you sure about this Albus?”

Professor Dumbledore stared at the shop for a moment more, before turning to her.

“The… feeling that I uncovered on Privet Drive, that sensation, is only matched here. I am sure, that wherever Hari ended up, this bookshop is at the heart of it.”

“It seems to be completely ordinary though!”

“It does seem that way, doesn’t it.” Albus hummed thoughtfully, “I don’t know if they are friend or foe, but I do know that Hari needs those blood wards, if he is to have any chance of survival.”

“So, what do you plan to do?”

“… I’ll have someone keep an eye on these two. Perhaps they are just two muggles who have been brought into this war unwillingly, or they’re not.” Albus’s eyes narrowed slightly when a shadow passed by the window, before the lights went out, “Either way, we need to know for sure.”

“And if Hari is with them?”

“He is not safe.”

……………………………………………………….

Hari shivered a little in his bed, curled up in his blankets as the storm raged on outside.

Something was wrong, but he didn’t know what.

“Hari?”

He looked over, seeing Warlock sitting up in bed and staring at him.

“Did you have bad dream?”

Hari gestured at the window, as Warlock nodded seriously. “I don’t like storms to.” He then shuffled out of bed, climbing into Hari’s, “We can keep us both safe.”

As his brother wrapped his arms around him, Hari turned away from the window, snuggling in close to him.

It was just a storm.

It was just a storm.

Nothing bad was going to happen to him.

It was just a storm.

Chapter Text

“We’re still being watched.” Crowley stated, re-entering the room, and placing the pastries on the desk as Aziraphale hummed in delight, “I wanted to go out to the Ritz today. But I get the feeling that as soon as we step out those doors with Hari, they’ll be on us in seconds.”

“Not the same two people as before?”

“Nah, one of their wizard policemen. One that isn’t afraid of a fight from the looks of him.”

“Ah, the one with the eye.”

“Yes, the one with the eye.”

The children were kept towards the back of the shop and the apartment, so that they wouldn’t be seen, even accidentally, but something told Crowley that they needed to be wary of that eye.

He opened his mouth to speak again, only to hear a shriek from the other room, prompting him and Aziraphale to rush in, believing that the worst had happened.

When they saw three of the children crowded around one of the cabinets however, they realised that they had a different problem on their hands.

“Look!” Warlock turned to them with a beam, pointing up at Hari, who stared down at them from on top of the cabinet.

“How did you even get up there?!”

“Flew.” Hari stated, letting Crowley grab him and pull him to somewhere a little safer.

“You… flew?”

Hari nodded, as BB piped up. “We were playin’ tag.” The red-head stated, “Then he flew.”

Accidental magic.

Just what they needed right now.

“Well… don’t do it again.” Crowley sighed, “It’s not safe.”

He knew he was speaking empty words right now, but it was worth trying.

“Why don’t we do some painting.” Aziraphale chuckled, gesturing for them to head over to the table, before turning to Crowley, only speaking when he was sure that the boys were out of earshot, “I think we need to consider sending in our applications for the Dowling estate soon…just to get away from here. The protections over the Anti-Christ should keep our stalkers at bay for a while, until Hari is old enough to go to Hogwarts.”

“… I don’t like this. It feels like we’re running.”

Aziraphale chuckle, pressing a gentle kiss to Crowley’s cheek, “Think of it as a strategic retreat love.”

…………….....

The Anti-Christ was intrigued by the other four children he was being introduced to, cooing as they all stared at him.

“And you say these are the children of some... influential people?” Mister Dowling didn’t look overly impressed, even when Crowley attempted to interject some small persuasion into him.

“Oh yes... friends that will help your darling boy get further in the world.”

He could practically hear Aziraphale sniggering from where he was inspecting the garden with Mrs Dowling.

“Hmmm, well, you can never have too many friends I suppose.”

“Very wise words Mr Dowling.”

A little bit of flattery never hurt anyone, and humans were all the same.

As Mr Dowling preened a little, umming and aahing over the decision, Crowley glanced around the place, unable to feel anyone watching them all the way out here.

Good.

After sneaking out early in the morning and using a small miracle to direct their stalkers attention elsewhere, he should hope that they were safe here, far from anyone else.

They would be safe here.

……………………………………………………..

Minerva McGonagall wasn’t sure what Albus was thinking when he left Harry Potter on the doorstep of his relatives’ home, but it had come back to bite him on the ass.

Harry Potter was gone, and whilst there were suspicions about where he was, it was not the upbringing or life that they expected.

“You look deep in thought Minerva.”

Her thoughts were broken by Albus’s quiet voice, looking over at him and sighing softly, “I was… thinking about young Potter.”

The bookshop family had vanished.

Even Moody had no idea where they’d gone.

“You have been worrying about this for quite some time I sense.” He asked her softly.

“Aren’t you?”

“I was.” Albus confessed, “But… there was something about the couple that made me feel at ease somehow.”

“At ease?”

“They clearly knew that they were being watched, and yet, they didn’t lash out or attack us… instead, they peacefully left.”

“They ran away, possibly with Harry!”

“They did.” Albus hummed, looking up at the ceiling, “I think… we should give them the benefit of the doubt.

“Are you sure about this Albus?”

“Mostly.”

Minerva sighed wearily.

She sensed that was as good an answer as she was ever going to get.

Chapter Text

***8 years Later***

The five boys were stretched on the grass, watching as the clouds passed by overhead.

“Do you all have to go?” One of them asked softly, “Can’t you come to this fancy boarding school with me?”

“We’ve already asked.” Another answered, running his fingers through blond hair, “Mama says no. Apparently there’s some sort of schedule we have to stick to.”

“Can’t you stay for the birthday party?”

The red-headed child shrugged, “Maybe? We’ve asked a lot, and it is shared with Adam and Warlock, so it only makes sense, right?”

The first boy, nodded in determination.

Damien always got his way, and he was determined for it to go his way this time as well.

“So here is where you all are.”

They all looked up to see the familiar figure of black staring back down at them, Nanny Ashtoreth raising one eyebrow delicately.

“The packing is nearly complete.” She stated, “Are there any toys in other rooms that need to be collected as well?”

“No Mama.” Adam, BB, Warlock and Hari chorused, as Nanny Ashtoreth nodded.

“Good… prepare to leave shortly, okay?”

“Can’t they stay for my birthday party?!” Damien pleaded, “It’s only a few days away, and Mama’s promised that I can have a magician and everything!”

“We have to move back into our own home.” Nanny Ashtoreth stated, looking at her children and seeing the pleading look on their faces, “But… perhaps we can nip back for a visit for your birthday if you wish. Not for the whole party though.”

“But- “

“- It’s Warlock and Adam’s birthday as well.” Nanny pointed out, “They have family to see, but if your parents agree, we can visit later on. Agreed?”

Damien looked like he was going to throw the tantrum of the ages, only to stop when he got a warning look.

“Fine.” He muttered grumpily.

“Good. We have a deal then.”

…………………………………………………………

They left that same afternoon, with the promise that they would be back for the birthday party, arriving back at the shop as Crowley let out a sigh of relief.

They weren’t being watched anymore.

He believed that they had done enough to raise Damien with both good and evil influences, which should keep him at a steady normal.

And normal didn’t bring about the end of the world.

“Home sweet home.” Aziraphale sighed, “Do you think we’ve done enough?”

“Try not to think about it Angel.” Crowley sighed, “If it makes you feel better, Damian is one of the most normal kids ever, as mundane as mundane can be.”

“Hmm, this does make me feel a little better. Well, hopefully, there will be no Armageddon and then all we have to worry about, is Harry’s Hogwarts letter and the visit we will all too likely receive.”

“And then all we have to worry about puberty.” Crowley, “Piece of cake.”

Sighing, Aziraphale went to sit, frowning as the sofa squeaked underneath him, looking around the room. “We should probably update this, just a little.” He stated, “It is a little… young for them now.”

“Please don’t remind me that they’re growing up.” Crowley groaned, “It seems like only yesterday BB was hatching out of his shell.”

“And that you were smuggling Warlock and Adam out of the nunnery.”

“And that I was finding Hari on the cold streets.”

All very odd occurrences, when they stopped to think about it.

“We could probably have nice things now.” Crowley then chuckled, “Things that aren’t going to have baby sick or muck all over them.”

“… We did just tend to miracle them away. Besides, I hear that ten-year-olds are just as messy really.”

“Great.”

…………………………………………………………………..

“Okay, so a witch is going to cast a spell on the princess, and imprison her in a big tower that has a dragon guarding it- “

“- Why am I always the princess?”

“And why am I always the witch?”

Adam look wearily at BB and Hari, a look that he’d perfected from getting it from Aziraphale so many times. They’d been at this party for over an hour and Damien was too obsessed with all the presents that he was getting from all his rich friends, that he wasn’t paying a blind bit of attention to the four brothers.

Not that they cared.

Not when there were all these woods that they could play in, without having to worry too much about getting in the way of all the snooty rich kids.

“Hari, you’re the witch because of your…” Adam looked around, before lowering his voice to a whisper, “… Magic.”

“Then why am I always the princess?!” BB frowned, “And don’t say it’s because I like wearing skirts!”

Adam clearly was going to say that, before he straightened, “You have red hair… like Ariel or Merida. That’s why.”

“More princesses are blonde!”

“Well… it’s my birthday, so I get to be the knight.”

Warlock muttered something about it being his birthday as well, only to be completely ignored, as BB groaned.

“I don’t get to be a prince on my birthday though!”

“You will next time, I swear!”

BB huffed, before sighing a resigning himself to being a princess for this game.

“What do you think Dad and Papa are going to get you for your birthdays’?” Hari asked as he assumed his position, grabbing a stick that he could use as a makeshift wand.

Warlock shrugged, “Maybe some games for the Switch?”

“…I want a dog.”

They all turned to Adam, who was looking up at the sky.

“Papa won’t let a dog in the bookshop.” Hari pointed out, “Too messy.”

“I’ll train it!”

“And when it’s not trained?”

Adam stuck his tongue out at his brothers, in a very mature way of ending the argument. “I can train it quickly.”

“Never going to happen.” Hari reaffirmed, “Besides, if you get a dog, then they’d have to get us all a pet, and they can’t do that.”

“It’s my birthday though, we should you all get a pet as well?”

“I’d like a dog.” Warlock mused, giving Adam a sly smirk, “And it’s my birthday too.”

“…we can share the dog.”

“Deal, but you have to pick up after it too, not just me.”

“Double deal!”

The birthday boys shook hands on it, as BB hummed thoughtfully, “I think… I’d like a rat as a pet.”

“Wouldn’t you have the urge to eat it?”

BB shot Warlock a vicious glare, before sniffing imperiously, “I have more self-control than that.”

“What about you Hari? What would you have?”

“…an owl.” Hari shrugged, “I don’t know why, but I’ve always liked the idea.”

“That would be cool.”

None of them heard the growling coming from nearby.

They played for a moment more, before Warlock (lying on the ground after having been defeated) turned to Adam. “What kind of dog do you want? Like one of those Rottweilers?”

Adam frowned, “I don’t want a big dog, Papa would never let that happen. I want a dog you can have fun with… a little dog!”

There was a confused whine nearby that none of them paid attention to.

“A little dog that I can teach tricks to… like going down rabbit holes and things like that.”

“What would you call it?”

Tension hung in the air for a moment, before Adam shrugged. “Dog… saves a lot of trouble a name like that.”

“And you expect this dog to just appear out of nowhere?”

And out of nowhere, a dog came running over to them.

“Huh.”

……………………………………….

“No Hell hound.”

“Nope.”

“…Wrong boy.”

“Wrong boy.”

The pair looked at each other.

“Where are the boys?”

Chapter Text

Dog had become an important part of their group, easily taking the position of the dragon as he barked and jumped at them, giving them way more of a challenge then when Warlock took on the role.

Warlock was rather enjoying being the princess, as it meant that he could play his game in peace, not having to do more than occasionally call out for help.

BB was happy being the wizard and Hari threw himself into being a knight.

They all chased each other through the trees, Dog racing after them as they started to sweat a little in the heat.

Of course, as what usually happened with young boys, they were running a touch too fast.

And there were a lot of upturned tree roots in these woods.

Hari went flying forwards with a yelp, wailing in pain as his wrist twisted harshly after bearing the brunt of his weight.

“Hari!”

Hari’s body shook with hiccupping sobs as they all moved to kneel beside him, seeing how he was clutching at his wrist.

“Hari!” Adam gently pulled his hand away, fingers running over the swelling wrist, “Should we get Dad or-or Papa?”

“They’re going to be so mad.” Adam muttered, “I think it’s broken!”

Hari’s panicked cries got a little louder.

“Ssh, ssh, ssh!” Adam winced, fingers still gently brushing over the injury, “Ssh, it’s alright. It’s going to be alright.”

Slowly, Hari started to calm down, the tears ceasing to fall, only to be replaced by a confused look as he looked down at his wrist, prompting the others to do the same.

Nothing.

No swelling.

No redness.

Nothing.

“Maybe it was only sprained?” BB ventured, “And Hari just… overreacted?”

“Hey!”

“Even sprained wrists don’t heal that quickly though.” BB corrected himself, “It must have been Hari’s magic then!”

It seemed as reasonable an explanation as any, and so, they all came to the decision to keep it hidden.

Or at least, they would have done, if it hadn’t been for the sudden calling of their names from nearby.

……………………………………

Crowley cursed at the heels that he was wearing, clicking his fingers and changing them to something a little more suitable for traipsing through the woods.

“Boys!” He called out, growing more frustrated with how deep they were going.

“Hari!” Aziraphale called out beside him, “Adam! Warlock! BB!”

There was silence for a short time, before movement nearby caught Crowley’s eyes, as he looked over to his right, seeing BB staring at him, a clearly forced smile on his face.

“Hey.” BB waved at them, “Is-is it time to go home?”

Crowley narrowed his eyes at his son, “What’s wrong? What happened?”

“Nothing!”

“Lies. Try again.”

“Tell us the truth.” Aziraphale frowned, “What happened?”

“…Hari hurt his wrist.” BB had never been the best at lying, “But it’s okay, we think his…magic, helped him.”

Crowley narrowed his eyes, sensing that there was something that BB wasn’t telling him, but deciding to let it go just for a moment.

“Show us where he is.”

They headed a little further into the woods, until they came across the other children…and Adam was holding a dog.

“Can we keep him?” Adam pleaded, “I promise he won’t chew on the books or anything like that! I’ll look after him and train him and everything!”

Crowley and Aziraphale were just staring at the dog in horror, with Crowley seeing the eyes flashing red just a little.

Hell Hound.

“You- you- “

“- Fine.” Crowley cut his lover off, sending the angel a warning look, “But… you’re all in trouble for heading so deep in the woods like this, so, until the shop is dog-damage proof, it stays outside.” He paused, “What did you call it?”

“…Dog.”

Crowley’s laughter echoed throughout the woods

……………….

They entered the bookshop, Dog pushed outside despite its’ protests, before the children all headed upstairs. Collapsing onto the sofa, Crowley groaned up at the ceiling.

“You know…” He began, “… if someone told me a millennium ago, that I would end up raising four children, one of them being the Antichrist, one a ‘chosen one’ of wizards, one a gaming addict and a half demon/half angel spawn, I would have called them crazy.”

Aziraphale sighed, taking the seat beside him, pulling the demon into his arms and pressing a kiss to the side of his head. “We raised Adam, much like we helped to influence Damian.” He whispered, “We have to trust that everything will go according to plan.”

“Yeah… the Great Plan.” Crowley sighed, “What are we going to do angel?”

“Our best.”

“And if that isn’t enough?”

“Then we hope that the boys are doing their best.” Aziraphale chuckled, “With three brothers combatting against his, all with strong opinions, I doubt this apocalypse will be as simple as we first imagined it to be.”

The words didn’t make Crowley feel any better.

……………………………………………

“Something’s going on.”

They all looked up at Warlock, who was staring towards the kitchen, where their parents were having another private conversation.

“They’ve been like that since the party.” Hari whispered, carefully painting, “Do you think it’s about Dog?”

Dog looked up at his name, before settling back down with a little whimper.

“A little bit.” Warlock muttered, “They definitely don’t like him… but I think it’s about the healing as well.”

“Hari’s healing?”

“I don’t think I was Hari who did the healing…I think it was Adam.”

This caught Adam’s attention, making him straighten up almost immediately, “You think I’m magic?!”

“I think you’re all a little bit magic.”

“Don’t sell yourself short.” BB piped up, “You’re a little bit magic as well.” When only silence followed, he sighed and looked up at them all, seeing that he was being stared at. “Well, there’s Hari’s obvious magic. Adam can clearly influence people, which is why we never used to get into that much trouble back at the manor… and you can clearly sense magic. You sense how it moves and how it works, before any of us can see it.”

“And then there’s you- “

“- I turn into a snake and can speak to them.” BB shrugged, “Like I said. We’re all a little bit magical.”

There was a beat of silence, before Adam cleared his throat. “Do I…really influence people?”

“Yes.” “Yes.” “Yes.”

“Oh.” Adam sat back on his heals a little bit, “So… you think they’re upset about Dog.”

“Or something related to it.”

………………………

A couple of days passed with no further incidents, as the children continued to cause havoc and chaos.

“Maybe…nothing is going to happen?” Aziraphale asked, watching them run around with Dog, “I haven’t heard anything from my end.”

“Nothing on my end either.” Crowley muttered, “The Dowlings are on their way to the apocalypse start zone though, so they’re going to figure it out soon.”

“… They can’t track him here can they?”

“I’m really trying not to think about that Angel.”

Chapter Text

One more day passed, and Aziraphale was working in the shop, hearing the children playing upstairs when he heard the familiar sound of an angel appearing nearby. He emerged from the shelves, to see Gabriel and Sandalphon standing there, sneering at the few humans that roamed that shop.

Clearing his throat, he plastered his best smile on, “Can I help you?”

Gabriel nodded, straightening up, “I would like to purchase one of your material objects.”

“Books.”

“Books.” Gabriel nodded, “Let us discuss my purchase in a private place, because I am buying, uh…”

Oh, please don’t.

“Pornography?”

Aziraphale winced as Sandalphon completed the sentence, with Gabriel nodding eagerly in response to it.

“Pornography!”

He really hated this. Sending the other customers in the store an apologetic smile, with thankfully most of them giving him a sympathetic look in return, he sighed, “Follow me into the back room.”

“We humans are extremely easily embarrassed.” Sandalphon continued, “We must buy our pornography secretively.”

Aziraphale really hated this.

Shutting the door behind him, he resisted the urge to hit his head against the wood. Their Lord was very proud of humanity, why wouldn’t you want to spend more time with them and learn more about them?

“Human being are so simple…”

Ah… that was it.

Most angels thought themselves above humanity, so why bother interacting with them?

“…And so easily fooled.”

“Yes.” Aziraphale’s fake smile grew as he desperately hoped that Crowley had the good sense to keep the children upstairs, “Ahem, good job, you-you fooled them all.”

“You remember Sandalphon?”

Aziraphale nodded, “Uh... Sodom and Gomorrah. You were doing a lot of smiting and turning people into salt…Hard to forget.”

Sandalphon gave him a small smile, before turning and examining the roof, sniffing a little. “Something smells… evil.”

“Oh, that'll be the Jeffrey Archer books, I'm afraid.” Aziraphale severely disliked some angel’s ability to sniff out evil presences.

Gabriel clapped his hands together, “Well, we just wanted to stop by and check on the status of the Antichrist.”

He needs to pay more attention in school and has a habit of climbing trees that he shouldn’t be climbing. Known to the neighbours as a bit of a nuisance.

“Why?” Aziraphale forced his voice to remain calm, “What’s wrong, I-I mean, if there is something wrong? I could put my people onto it.”

“Nothing's wrong. Everything's going perfectly.” Gabriel continued to smile, “There's a lot happening. All good.”

“All good?”

Well, all going according to the Divine Plan. The Hell Hound has been set loose, and now the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are being summoned. Death, Pollution, Famine, War.”

“Right.” Aziraphale nodded, “Who exactly summons them?”

Gabriel shrugged, “Not my department. I believe we outsource that sort of thing.”

“About time, that's what I say.” Sandalphon piped up eagerly, looking a little too eager at the prospect of the apocalypse, “You can't have a war without War.”

Gabriel, predictably, loved it, “Sandalphon, that is very good. You can't have a war without War. I might use that.”

Aziraphale was sure that he was going to hurt himself with how hard he was rolling his eyes.

“How was the Hell Hound?”

It tries to eat books and has a habit of peeing wherever it likes.

Aziraphale forced himself to smile, “I didn’t stick around long enough to see it.”

They left, continuing with their banter, which was good because it distracted them from how pale Aziraphale was sure his face had gotten.

Smiling at the concerned customers, he went to hide in a darkened corner, resting against the wall as he took deep breaths.

No, he technically didn’t need to breathe, but the action was soothing.

He had always admired parents and their devotion to their children, but never experienced those intense emotions for himself.

He had watched Yocheved swaddle her child in the rags that constituted as her clothing, dodging past Egyptian guards to bring him to safety.

He watched as other mothers were not as lucky, their cries and screams of bereaved horror echoing throughout the streets

He’d watched as she cried placing him in that wicker basket on the riverbank of the Nile, putting all her faith in God to keep this child safe from the dangers of the river and from the wrath and paranoia of this Pharoh. He watched as she placed one last kiss on his head and closed the life, wading into the water until the current was strong enough to carry him away.

Her eyes never left that basket until it was out of sight.

Such heartbreak, all to save her child.

Aziraphale had felt sorry for her… but until now, had never emphasised with her.

What were they going to do?

“Dad?”

He looked over his shoulder, to see Adam standing in the doorway, looking a little concerned.

“Are you okay?”

“Of course.” Aziraphale forced himself to smile, “Never better…I was thinking that we should go out dinner? Maybe to a nice café.”

“Okay!”

“Go and get your brothers then.”

As Adam rushed off, Aziraphale let out the sigh that he’d been holding back.

He could still remember when he first learnt about BB… that slightly frantic dinner invitation from Crowley. The worried look on the demon’s face when they met up.

Crowley had taken so long to tell him, but Aziraphale had been patient, knowing that sometimes, all he needed was a little bit of time to gather his thoughts together. He’d let Crowley talk and talk and talk, until he finally paused for a moment, giving Aziraphale the chance to reach over and gently take Crowley’s hand into his own.

It hadn’t taken Crowley long to confess after that, speaking of the egg that he was keeping in a heated tank back in his apartment.

His egg.

Their son.

He could still remember watching that egg hatch and a flash of red hair seeming even brighter against the white shell.

Aziraphale had been in love from the first minute he saw him.

He had been with all of them, and now, their perfect life was about to come crashing down all around them.

Chapter Text

“They’re still awake.”

“So are we.”

Crowley and Aziraphale looked over at each other, still hearing the whispered conversation going on, on the other side of the wall.

“They know something’s wrong.” Crowley sighed, “They’re not stupid.”

“I know.” Aziraphale wasn’t sure what they could do about it though, “Do you-do you remember that first week we had them all together. How they all seemed to hate sleep?”

“Not much has changed.” Crowley chuckled, “I think BB is the only one who even thinks about sleeping. Warlock plays his games and Adam and Hari try to sneak out to find some snacks in the kitchen… how often did we used to catch them?”

“All the time.” Aziraphale chuckled, “They’re a bit better at it now.”

The talking on the other side of the wall continued.

Aziraphale sighed, pushing himself up and out of bed, “Alright, I fancy a little bit of hot chocolate.”

“Ah… you’re bribing them to talk to you then?”

Silence.

Crowley chuckled, following his lover out of the room and to the kitchen, watching as Aziraphale clicked his fingers, filling a saucepan on the stove with milk so that it could heat up. He grabbed the hot chocolate powder from the cupboard, giving it a shake, which was quickly followed by the sound of the boy’s bedroom door opening.

“Never fails.” He chuckled, as the four boys cautiously headed into the kitchen, all perking up at the sight of the hot chocolate.

Adam was the first one to pause, narrowing his eyes at the pair of them, before he straightened up a little. “This is a bribe.” He stated, “You want us to talk to you about something.”

Crowley chuckled, waving Aziraphale off when the angel tried to protest. “Nah, he caught us red-handed love.” He eyed them, “You’ve been hiding something. We just want to know what you’ve been hiding.”

“So, you’re bribing us with hot chocolate?” Hari asked.

“That’s about the brunt of it.” Crowley leant forwards, “So… start talking.”

“… Are Hari and me the only ones with powers?” BB asked softly.

For a moment, all Crowley could do was glance between the children and Aziraphale, before sighing. “It’ssss…. Complicated.”

“Complicated?”

“A long time ago…” Crowley stated, “… I was put in charge of delivering the Antichrist to a powerful American family. I was to deliver him to a Satanic church… where two other women were giving birth.” He shrugged, “I don’t remember the exact details, but I know that at least two babies would be…disposed of.”

The four children paled a little.

“I thought that the Antichrist went with the correct family, that the other two parents had their children and that would be that.”

“That’s why we went to stay with the Dowlings?” Hari asked softly, “Because Damien is the Antichrist?”

“…That’s what we thought.”

“A hellhound was to be sent to Damien to prepare him for his destiny.” Aziraphale sighed, “Unfortunately, it never happened.”

“Dog.” Adam whispered, “That-that was the day we found Dog.”

“Yes.”

Adam looked a little pale, trying to step back, only for his brothers to stop him from making a complete run for it.

“I-I’m the- “

“- We believe so darling.” Aziraphale frowned, seeing that Adam was mere seconds away from panicking, “Adam, please, you have to know that this changes nothing.”

“It does though!” Adam shook his head, “I-I’m the Antichrist! I-I’m going to destroy the Earth and-and-and- “

Everything around them started to shake.

“Hey, hey.” Warlock frowned, placing a hand on Adam’s shoulder, “When have you ever done what you’re told to do?”

Crowley nodded automatically at those words.

“Who says you have to go through with this… Earth destroying thing?”

“But- “

“How does it work?” Warlock then turned to their parents, “Is there like…a big red button or something that starts it?”

“It’s a little more complicated than that.” Crowley sighed, “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse have been summoned. From there, they will find the Antichrist in a place of destruction, where he will then command them to start the Apocalypse and the armies of Heaven and Hell will fight until the end of all time… or until one side wins.”

“Who will win?” BB frowned, “Is there like… a favourite of the two sides?”

“Us.” “Us.”

Crowley and Aziraphale glanced over at each other, giving each other playful smirks, before they moved over to the boys, pulling them into their arms. It was a little awkward, but the Lord gave humans two arms for a reason, and that was to hug two children at once.

“Nothing is going to happen.” Crowley muttered to Adam, who still looked a little unsure, even as they started to rock them all a little, hoping that it would help soothe them, like it did when they were babies.

“Come on.” Aziraphale whispered after a few minutes of this gentle action, “Let’s have this hot chocolate and get into bed.” He gave them another reassuring smile, “Everything will be fine.”

…………………………

“Dog! You’re being rude, come on!”

The other three glanced at each other in concern as Adam snapped at his dog for the third time in a little under five minutes, with the Hell-Hound (and wasn’t that a strange thing to call a tiny dog like that).

“It’s not his fault.” Warlock muttered, not flinching when Adam glanced back to glare at him, “It’s not anybody’s fault, so don’t take it out on him… or us.”

BB nodded “He’s right… you’re so worried about all the bad things that might happen, that you’re not even thinking about the good things.”

“Good things?” Adam paused, “Like… curing cancer or stopping world hunger? Things like that?”

“Yeah, exactly!”

“Maybe don’t start off with cancer.” Warlock frowned, “Like.. work your way up to that? You might not be that powerful.”

“…But I’m the antichrist.”

“You’re a level one antichrist!”

“Hey!”

“He’s got a point.” Hari ventured, “Maybe we can do a few small things and then move onto curing cancer?”

“Small things like what?”

They all looked at each other, before Warlock raised a hand, “The cookie jar was filled recently… and you know they always lock it in the top cupboard with that lock on it.

“… That sounds like a perfect test.” Adam clapped his hands together, “Alright guys. Battle plans.”

Chapter Text

They found a Bible on one of the personal bookshelves they had in the flat, sneaking it away to their room and carefully flicking through it.

“Do you think I could do all the things that God could do?” Adam asked quietly, tracing his fingers across the neatly printed words, “Like... the flood?”

“... Just letting Noah and his family live is probably an exaggeration.” BB gently assured him, “I bet Dad and Papa saved more of them. Like the children! Why kill innocent children?!”

Adam remained silent, “He killed all the first borns of Egyptian.” he whispered, “Just because of what their parents were a part of...what they did to the Hebrews. I know they were probably growing up to be the same, but they had time to change.”

None of them had any response to that.

“Perhaps there’s something else.” BB muttered, gently taking the Bible and replacing it with a history book.

Of course, the first page that they opened it too, was Spain, in the late 1400’s.

“The Spanish Inquisition.” Warlock winced, “A bunch of men who killed those who disagreed with them.”

“It’s petty.” Adam hissed, “Arguments over faith and who’s God is the true God, or what’s the right way to worship?! Stupid! Why can’t everyone just believe in the same thing!”

The air around them crackled a little.

“Why can’t everyone just be nice to each other?!”

“Free will, remember?” BB whispered, sounding a little nervously.

“Free will is stupid!”

They were going into dangerous territory now, as Warlock went to try and take the book away from his brother, only for Adam to snatch it away. In the slight scuffle, the book was opened onto another section.

1945, Germany.

Nothing more needed to be said, as Hari reached out to close the book, only to snatch his hand back when it was blasted across the room, impacting against the opposite wall with a dull THUD.

“Boys?!” Came the immediate cry from Aziraphale, who then rushed up the stairs as best he could, bursting into the room, frowning at the sight of the book crumpled on the ground.

They all winced in unison, knowing that there was no chance of the book having made it out of the impact unscathed.

“Now, I am sure I’ve taught you boys all to respect books and knowledge properly.” Aziraphale sighed, summoning it to his hand, “You know, I don’t want to have to make sure you’re all supervised at all times, but if you’re going to treat books this way- “

“- It was an accident.”

Aziraphale turned to Adam, who was staring down at the floor, refusing to look him in the eyes.

“An accident?”

“…Yeah.”

“…I see.” Aziraphale glanced at all of them, before sighing, making the book disappear with a flick of his hand, probably sending it back to the shelves, before moving to kneel in front of them, reaching out and pulling Adam into his arms, “It’s okay. We’re all here, okay?”

Adam pressed his face against his Papa’s shoulder and hugged him back, silent tears falling from his eyes.

He didn’t feel like it was going to be alright.

……………………….

Aziraphale thought a trip to the country might make everyone feel a little calmer, so they headed to Tadfield for a week long break.

The whole end of the world couldn’t possibly happen in a place like Tadfield, right?

“Knock it off Adam!” Warlock pushed his brother away, as Adam leant over to try and grab his game, “Adam!”

“Adam.”

The warning tone from Aziraphale was all that was needed, for Adam to move away.

“You all have way too much energy.” Crowley groaned, “Go outside, please. All those glorious fields…go and play football or something.”

They all looked at each other, none of them really being big football players.

“Does it have to be football?” Hari asked, only for a football to suddenly appear in his hands.

“Pretend it’s a dragons egg.” Crowley sighed, “Just… go outside. Please?”

They all rushed out, missing how Crowley collapsed onto the sofa. “I have a bad feeling about all this angel, I really do.”

Aziraphale said nothing.

…………………….

BB tossed and caught the football in the air, as they all decided over what to play.

“We could just play football.” Adam stated, “Maybe a quick game whilst we decide what to play?”

They all nodded, splitting into a teams of Warlock and Hari, and Adam and BB. Adam’s team kicked off the game, and they raced over the grass. It was less a proper game of football and more of a game of ‘how high or hard can you kick this ball?’

The answer was, too hard and too high… for Adam at least.

They heard the window shattering in the distance.

“We are so dead.” BB groaned, “So, so dead.”

They all made their way over to the cottage, seeing that there was a woman already standing in the doorway. Young looking, dressed entirely in black, she looked like a witch. Giving them a knowing look, she handed the ball over to them, giving them all a knowing look.

“You’re lucky I’d already cleared a space for that ball.” She chuckled, “Would you like to come in?”

“We’re really sorry about the ball.” Adam winced, “I didn’t mean to kick it so high… or so hard.”

“I know.”

They all moved inside, only to hear Dog whimpering on the doorstep, pacing back and forth and looking like he was coming up against a barrier.

“Dog!” Adam frowned, glancing over at the woman, “Can he come in as well?”

“Of course.”

“Dog, come on!”

Dog’s whimpers grew louder and more high-pitched.

“Dog! Come!”

BB gripped at his head as Dog passed over the threshold. It was like something in the universe had just snapped.

He didn’t like the feeling at all.

………………………………………

That evening, BB’s uneasiness about the situation only increased as Adam poured over the magazines that Anathema had given him, and all the conspiracy theories in them.

“Are you reading the Bible?”

He looked over at Hari, who was moving to sit next to him.

“I just know there’s a way to help Adam in here.” BB whispered, “I just can’t figure out where.”

“Bedtime!” Aziraphale knocked on the wooden frame of the doorway, smiling at them, “Come in, all books away please.” He glanced curiously at the magazines that Adam was shoving under his pillow, but decided to let it go, “Your Dad and I are nipping out for an hour or two, so please behave yourselves.”

“When have we ever misbehaved when- “

A knowing look from Aziraphale cut that sentence off immediately.

“Go to sleep.” He ordered gently, “We’ll be back soon.”

He cast another worried look at Adam, before slowly leaving and shutting the door behind him.

……………………………..

“… You just hit someone.”

“No… someone hit me.”

Chapter Text

“Okay, we’ve sorted out the laundry.” Warlock sighed, “Is there anything else they asked us to do?”

The others all shock their heads, although BB looked distracted over something.

“BB?”

“…Did you guys see the book that Papa was trying to sneak past us?”

“What book?”

BB rolled his eyes, guessing that that was a no. “A really old one.”

“That doesn’t narrow it down.” Adam pointed out, “All of Papa’s books are old.”

“This one was different though; I can just sense it.”

They all looked at each other, before glancing over at their parent’s room.

“Maybe, just a quick look wouldn’t hurt?”

………………………..

Aziraphale hummed softly as he and Crowley examined the book. Having read some of the prophecies, they were forced to admit that this was probably the real deal.

Which was a little concerning.

“We should read ahead to try and figure out a way to stop it.” Crowley stated, as Aziraphale shook his head.

“We often cause the very thing we are trying to prevent by doing that.” Leaning back against the chair, he looked up at the ceiling, “Do you remember when God created the cuckoo?”

“Vaguely.” If Crowley remembered correctly that one had been a particular creation of the angel that soon became Satan. One that had been hidden and then pulled out of storage and unleashed on the world, “Which of our adopted kids are you calling the cuckoo then?”

“You make me sound harsh when you say it like that.” Aziraphale sighed, “None of them if you must know…but I can’t help but wonder if Joseph felt like he was when he was told that Mary was carrying Their child, instead of his.”

Crowley paused, thinking about it for a moment.

He hadn’t spent much time around God’s son, and as far as he knew, neither had Aziraphale, not until those last few days. But from what he’d heard, Jesus was a quiet baby, content to simply…exist, not like other children who fussed and cried.

Spooky really.

“Joseph loved the kid.” He muttered.

“Does that mean he didn’t see him as a cuckoo.”

“It wasn’t like they had any other kids for Jesus to…push out of the nest.”

“True.” Aziraphale sighed, “I know that it’s not the same with Adam and the boys, and I suppose they all share enough similarities with us for people not to focus too much on it…”

Crowley decided not to comment on the fact that three quarters of their child were technically adopted, clearing his throat. “Do you regret it? Adopting them I mean.”

The atmosphere in the room seemed to freeze, making Crowley wince.

“Never.” Came Aziraphale’s quiet whisper, “And please...never suggest that I do.”

“...Got it.”

.........................

“They must have hidden it.” Warlock sighed, collapsing back onto his bed, “Which means that it’s something that we need to find.”

“Agreed.” “Yep.” “Definitely.”

The four sat there in silence for a moment, before Warlock spoke up.

“Let’s go and see Anathema again.”

“…Why?”

“Because it’s better than sitting around here?”

They all thought about it for a moment, before nodding.

“Sure.” “Why not.” “Fine.”

…………………………………..

“What’s the thing with the three legs?”

“It’s a theodolite.” Said Anathema from the kitchen, not seeming overly concerned with the fact that her home had been invaded by four pre-teens, “It’s for tracking ley-lines.”

“Ley-lines?” BB perked up in curiosity, “Really?”

“Really.”

They talked about ley-lines for a while, before moving onto other subjects, including whale hunting, pollution and nuclear power stations.

“We went to a nuclear power station.” Hari piped up, “It was a bit boring.”

BB nodded, “There was no green smoke or bubbling stuff in tubes, not like you see on TV.”

“They do all the bubbling after visitors have gone home.”

That did make sense.

“They should be done away with this minute.”

BB nodded, “That would serve them right for not bubbling.”

Anathema nodded, still trying to put her finger on what was so odd about this group. Warlock seemed ordinary enough, but Adam, BB and Hari… there was something about them.

With Hari, she was sure she’d seen a picture like him in a book somewhere.

With BB and Adam though… it was like they had no auras.

No, not like.

They had no auras.

She was quite an expert on auras, she could see them, if she stared hard enough. They were a little glow of light around people’s heads and according to a book she’d read, the colour told you things about their health and general well-being.

Everyone had one.

In mean-minded, closed-in people, they were a faint, trembling outline, whereas those who were creative, might have one extending several inches from the body.

And yet, here Adam and BB were, without one.

‘Maybe I’m just tired’ She thought to herself, having been stressed over losing her ancestor’s book and unable to sleep because of it.

Instead, she focused on how eager the four boys seemed to be to learn something new, loaning them a few copies of New Aquarian Digest.

……………………………………

Crowley knew the yawn that Adam let out was totally fake, narrowing his eyes at the pre-teen as he stretched out.

“I’m pretty tired.” Adam yawned again, with even the fake action making Crowley crave his bed just a little bit.

“Oh really?” He smirked, leaning back in the chair, watching as the others all started looking towards the door. Oh yes, they were definitely planning something, but what, he wasn’t sure, “Tired? Not…planning anything?”

“You always assume the worst of us.” Adam rolled his eyes, “Maybe we want an early night.”

“The last time any of you even thought about having an early night was when you were still trying to catch Santa in one of those bloody traps that you set up… should we be worried?”

“It’s not Christmas, why would we be setting traps for Santa?”

Crowley looked over at BB, who stared back at him innocently.

“Is this going to be something that we’re going to have to ground you for.”

“Where’s the fun in telling you that?” Warlock smirked, as Crowley decided not to push the matter.

If they were caught, they would be grounded. But if they got away with it, then surely they deserved the reward of not being punished.

So, he watched as they made their way upstairs, before tuning to Aziraphale, who simply shook his head.

Sometimes, it was best not to ask.

…………………

That night, the four boys poured over some magazines that Anathema had given them, sharing a ‘borrowed’ bag of lemon drops between them under the combined tent of their blankets. Every so often, a little “wow!” or “brilliant” could be heard in the silence of the room.

They only stopped when the batteries of their torch ran out, all climbing into their own beds, practically falling asleep as soon as their heads hit the pillow, unaware of the chaos that was currently going on throughout the world.

Adam Crowley-Fell turned over in his sleep.

Chapter Text

Hari woke up long before his brothers did, looking over at them to see that they were all fast asleep, heading over to the window seat and staring out at the world beyond.

He’d had the green flash of light dream again.

He knew that his brother occasionally had bad dreams, but they never seemed to bother them as much as this dream bothered Hari.

Curling in a little on himself, he sighed, wondering if he should talk to Dad and Papa about it.

A loud snore interrupted his thought process, prompted him to look over to the beds, where his brothers were still sleeping soundly.

Maybe…he should talk to them first, and then Dad and Papa.

….

They all listened to the dream with mixed levels interest. Outside, there was a light drizzle that battered against the window.

“A green light?” Warlock frowned, “Like a spell or something?”

“Maybe?”

Adam didn’t seem overly impressed, going on to talk about someone who made it rain fish and frogs.

“…Alive frogs?”

“Oh yeah.” Adam beamed, “Hopping around and croaking and everything. They paid him to go away and then he sailed off in the Mary Celeste and founded the Bermuda Triangle.”

“That’s ship’s famous for having no-one on it.” Warlock grunted, “It was in a horror game. They found it floating around all by itself with no-one on it.”

"I didn’t say he was on it when they found it, did I?" said Adam scathingly. "Course he wasn't on it… because the UFO’s landing and taking him off. Didn’t your game tell you that?”

“UFO’s aren’t real!”

“Actually, unidentified flying objects are real.” BB pointed out, “It’s aliens that aren’t real.”

“Weren’t we talking about Hari’s dream?”

They all turned back to Hari, who shrugged. “Maybe it was a spell.” He stated, “But…I don’t think it’s a very good one. Maybe Dad and Papa will know about it?”

“Yeah, probably.” Warlock nodded, “But… I think they’ve been a bit focused on the book.”

“Which we need to find out more about.” Adam leant forwards, “And I have a plan about that.”

………………………..

The cocoa was a congealed brown sludge, half filling the cup.

Crowley adored it when his lover showed off his intelligent side, watching him through lidded eyes as the angel poured over the book, tapping at the cheap, slow, plasticky computer that he’d managed to tempt the angel into buying. It was a minor victory, especially considering the fact that Aziraphale used it religiously to do his account, which had gotten them investigated by the tax authorities at least five times.

For perfect records.

Which was much funnier than tax evasion and Crowley felt a little high whenever they came to visit.

“Dad? Papa?”

Crowley was the only one who looked over to see the four boys standing in the doorway of the room.

“We need to talk about something.”

………………………………..

Anathema frowned.

She was sure that the ley lines in Tadfield were starting to shift position. The radio was on in the background as she tried to figure out what was going on, not really listening to what was going on. This meant that a lot of main news items passed right her.

It wasn’t until a couple of key words filtered down into his consciousness that she began to take notice.

‘…danger to employees or the public.’ The man was saying.

‘And precisely how much nuclear material has escaped?’

There was a pause, ‘We wouldn’t say escaped. Not escaped… temporarily mislaid.’

‘You mean it is still on the premises?’

‘We certainly cannot see how it could have been removed from them.’

‘Surely you have considered terrorist activity?”

There was another pause. Then the spokesman said, in the quiet tones of someone who has had enough and is going to quit after this and raise chickens somewhere, "Yes, I suppose we must. All we need to do is find some terrorists who are capable of taking an entire nuclear reactor out of its can while it's running and without anyone noticing. It weighs about a thousand tons and is forty feet high. So, they'll be quite strong terrorists. Perhaps you'd like to ring them up, sir, and ask them questions in that supercilious, accusatory way of yours."

"But you said the power station is still producing electricity," gasped the interviewer.

"It is."

"How can it still be doing that if it hasn't got any reactors?"

You could see the spokesman's mad grin, even on the radio. You could see his pen, poised over the "Farms for Sale" column in Poultry World. "We don't know," he said. "We were hoping you clever buggers at the BBC would have an idea."

Anathema looked down at her map and re-examined the ley-lines.

They were forming a spiral.

It was centred-loosely, with some margin for error, but nevertheless, centred on Lower Tadfield.

…………………..

Several thousand miles away from said Lower Tadfield, Atlantis rose from the depths of the ocean.

……………………

“It might be the Killing Curse.” Crowley whispered to Aziraphale in the other room, after they’d both heard about Hari’s dream, “He was just over a year old, should he be able to remember things like that? I thought human memory was small and pitiful?!”

“You would be surprised.” Aziraphale sighed, “It was… a horrific time of his life, even if he can’t remember his parents, he knows that something changed that night. And it all revolves around that green light.”

They both looked into the other room, where Adam seemed to be trying to convince his brothers that the Earth was hollow, and that the world was ruled by Tibetans, that lived in an underground city, listening to everything from under the ground.

“Honestly, what has he been reading?” Aziraphale sighed, “I don’t surprise we can just chalk this up to an overactive imagination on Hari’s part?”

“We would not be that lucky.” Crowley sighed, “So, we have the Antichrist who may or not come into his powers. The wizarding world’s Chosen One possibly might remember his mother getting murdered in front of him. BB is… BB and Warlock is thankfully just Warlock. Nothing we can’t handle, right?”

“Right.”

………

Across the world, the Four Horsemen were receiving some very important packages.

Chapter Text

Aziraphale tried not to look too panicked when he watched Hari and Adam casually using their powers/magic at the breakfast table, BB hesitating for a moment before joining in.

And did Warlock just summon the jam to him?

“So... what do you all have planned for today?” He asked, voice calm, even as he was sure that his hands were shaking.

“Playing in the woods again.” Adam stated, “Maybe we’ll go and see the witch that moved into the new cottage, she was nice.”

“Please don’t call people- “And then Aziraphale remembered exactly who he was sitting at the table with, waving his hand to dismiss what he’d just been about to say, “- Never mind.”

He looked over at Crowley, who looked just as nervous, though probably better at hiding it than Aziraphale.

Still, the boys didn’t seem to notice, finishing their breakfasts and rushing out of the home.

“I need something stronger.” Crowley grunted, “A lot, lot stronger.”

….

“We need to make sure everyone knows the truth about witches.”

They were all sitting on a field gate, watching Dog rolling in cowpats, the mutt enjoying himself immensely.

“I’ve been reading about them. They’ve been right all along and it’s wrong to persecute them with the Inquisitions and stuff.”

“Do you think you’ll learn about that when you have to go to magic school?” BB asked Hari, who shrugged.

“Maybe?”

They watched Dog some more, drumming their heels on the gate. It was too hot to run about.

“Were the witches in those magazines that the woman gave to you?” Warlock asked, not taking his eyes off his game.

“Yep, along with how there’s people who go round chopping down rain forests and making holes in the ozone layer.” Adam’s voice was getting a little tenser, “It was all in the magazine. It takes millions of acres of rain forest to make one beefburger. And all this ozone is leaking away because of…” He hesitated, “…People spraying the environment- “

“- what about the whales?” BB piped up, “We’ve got to save the whales.”

Adam frowned. His plunder of New Aquarian's back issues hadn't included anything about whales, but BB knows a lot, so he was inclined to believe them. “What do we have to save them for?”

“Because they can sing.” BB wracked his brains, “And they’ve got big brain, there’s hardly any of them left. And we don’t need to kill them.”

“If they’re so clever, what are they doing in the sea?” Warlock scoffed, still not taking his eyes off his game, keeping his balance as Adam nudged him playfully in the side.

“Come on, swimming around all day, just opening their mouths and eating stuff?” Adam smirked, “Sounds pretty clever to me.”

Before they could say anything else, there a squeal of brakes and a long, drawn-out crunch interrupted them. They all scrambled off the gate and ran up the lane to the crossroads, where a small car lay on its roof at the end of a long skid-mark. A little further down the road was a hole, and it looked as though the car had tried to avoid it. Upon looking at it, a small head darted out of sight.

Hari pulled the door open, all of them moving to pullout the unconscious man and lying him on the path.

“We shouldn’t move him.” BB pointed out, “Because of broken bones, we ought to get someone.”

Adam looked around, seeing the rooftop visible in the trees down the road.

Jasmine Cottage.

…………………..

Anathema Device was sitting in front of a table, on which some bandages, aspirins and assorted first-aid items had been laid out for the past hour.

…

“I don’t know if he’s going to want some flowers?” Adam frowned, watching BB picking some flowers from a push that was hanging over onto the path, “Besides, what if you’re hurting flowers if you pick them?”

BB paused, straightening up and looking over at his brothers, “Do you think it does?”

“Dad’s plants are scared of him… surely they can feel fear as well?”

It was a good point, and BB couldn’t deny that, looking down at the flowers that he’d picked with a little bit of sorrow. “What do we get him then? Soup?”

“That’s for when you’re sick! He’s not sick, he’s hurt!”

BB frowned, huffing at Adam’s tone as his brother rolled his eyes at him.

Carefully, Hari cleared his throat, trying to change the subject. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“Of course, he is.” Adam scoffed, “I expect we’ll get a medal or something. Rescuing a man from blazing wreck.”

“It wasn’t blazing.” Warlock rolled his eyes, “It wasn’t even very wrecked when we put it back right-side up.”

“It could have been! I don’t see why we shouldn’t have a medal just because some old car doesn’t know when to catch fire!”

They headed further down the path, until they reached the hole that they’d seen someone disappearing down. The police had cordoned it off after Anathema had called them. They could still see into it though, seeing that it was dark and went down a long way.

“The man muttered something about it being a Tibetan monk who made him crash.” Warlock muttered, “I could be fun going to Tibet. I couldlearn martial arts whilst you’re all being cool and mysterious with your magical powers.”

It was hard to ignore the bitterness in his voice.

Adam flicked a pebble in the hole, already becoming bored with Tibetans.

“What are we going to do now?” Hari asked, “I heard the farmers mentioning something about dipping sheep? We could see what that all means?”

Adam threw a larger stone into the hole and waited for the thump, frowning when it never happened. “I don’t know… I reckon we should actually do something about whales and forests and everything, like we’ve been talking about.” His voice was distant and a little echoey.

“How?” Warlock went to threw an empty packet of crisps into the hole, only to stop when Adam gave him a warning look, “Not order hamburgers when we go into town? I’m sure if all four of us don’t have one, that’ll save millions of acres of rainforests that they won’t have to cut down.”

The sarcasm was evident.

“Shut up- “

“- They’ll cut them down, no matter what we do, because we’re just kids!” Warlock snapped, BB and Hari standing awkwardly to one side, glancing between the pair of them.

“It’s grass materialism again.” Adam stated, eyes on Dog, “Same with the whales. It’s amazing… the stuff that’s going on.”

He was feeling very odd.

The mongrel, noticing the attention, balanced expectantly on its hind legs.

“It’s people like you that’s eating all the whales… I’ve bet you’ve used up nearly a whole whale already.”

Dog, the last satanic part of his soul hating it, put his head on one side and whined.

“It’s gonna be a fine old world to grow up in. No whales, no air, and everyone paddling around because of the seas rising.”

“Well, the Atlantians would be well off.” Hari tried to play the entire situation off, frowning when Adam just shrugged, clearly not listening.

Inside Adam’s head, something was happening. It was aching, thoughts were arriving there without him having to think them. Something was saying “You can do something Adam Crowley-Fell. You can make it all better. You can do anything you want.”

What was saying this to him was…him.

Part of him, deep down.

Part of him that had been attached to him all these years and not really noticed, like a shadow. It was saying; yes, it’s a rotten world. It could have been great, but now it’s rotten, and it’s time to do something about it.

That’s what he was here for.

To make it all better.

Chapter Text

“Oh, dinosaurs were just a funny joke that God came up with. You should have heard some of the arguments that broke out over the naming of them.”

Adam was barely paying attention to the conversation, despite it being about one of his most favourite things. Something was happening inside his head… It was aching. Thoughts were arriving there without him having to think them. Something was saying;

‘You can do something, Adam. You can make it all better. You can do anything you want.’

And what was saying this to him was . . . him. Part of him, deep down. Part of him that had been attached to him all these years and not really noticed, like a shadow. It was saying:

‘Yes, it's a rotten world. It could have been great. But now it's rotten, and it's time to do something about it. That's what you're here for. To make it all better.’

“Adam?”

He looked up, seeing his Papa giving him a concerned look.

“Is there something wrong?”

“Do you want to talk about Atlantis or Tibet again?” Hari asked, “We can- “

"- I'm fed up with the ole Atlantisans and Tibetans," snapped Adam.

They stared all stared at him, stunned into silence.

He couldn’t stop.

"It's all very well for them," said Adam. "Everyone's goin' around usin' up all the whales and coal and oil and ozone and rainforests and that, and there'll be none left for us. We should be goin' to Mars and stuff, instead of sittin' around in the dark and wet with the air spillin' away."

This wasn't the old Adam they knew.

As Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other in concern, the other three boys avoided looking at Adam. With him in this mood, the world seemed a chillier place.

“I think…” Warlock began, “…you need to stop reading about this stuff.”

“It’s stupid." said Adam. "You grow up readin' about pirates and cowboys and spacemen and stuff, and jus' when you think the world's all full of amazin' things, they tell you it's really all dead whales and chopped-down forests and nucular waste hangin' about for millions of years. 'Snot worth growin' up for, if you ask my opinion."

More glances were exchanged.

“Maybe…some outside time will be for the best.” Aziraphale cleared his throat, not wanting to admit just how unnerved he was by the situation, “Some of that football maybe?”

“We’re on it.” Warlock grabbed Adam’s hand, pulling him outside.

The two adults watched them leave as Crowley turned to Aziraphale.

“We’re in deep shit angel.”

……

“There’s something wrong with you.” Hari broke the silence immediately, “What is it?” He crossed his arms over his chest, giving them his best Aziraphale impression, raising one eyebrow.

Adam scoffed, rolling his eyes and refusing to answer. “I have a lot going on.” He snapped, hearing Hari let out a sound of pure frustration.

“That’s not it! There’s something else.”

“It’s. Nothing! We have bigger problems in the world.” Adam gave them all a pointed look, “Remember?”

His three brothers looked at each other, before Warlock shook his head, “We’re not talking about that.” He sighed, “We know the world’s shit, you’ve done nothing but tell us that for the past two days, but you’re being all…weird!”

Adam stared him down for a moment, before looking away. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Too bad, because we do.”

Adam remained silent.

“Adam, we need to talk about it, because you’re acting weird!”

“The air around you feels…wrong.” BB breathed out, his voice barely above a whisper, only to flinch back when Adam spun around and glared at him.

There was a shadow over the whole world. Storm clouds were building up in the north, the sunlight glowing yellow off them as though the sky had been painted by an enthusiastic amateur.

“Wrong?” Adam’s voice was low and dangerous, “The whole world is wrong… Seems to me it ought to be rolled up and started all over again,"

.
That hadn't sounded like Adam's voice.

A bitter wind blew through the summer woods.

Adam looked at Dog and then at his brothers. There was a distant mutter of thunder as he reached down and patted the dog absentmindedly. "Serve everyone right if all the nuclear bombs went off and it all started again, only properly organized," said Adam. "Sometimes I think that's what I'd like to happen. An' then we could sort everything out."

The thunder rumbled, making Hari shiver.

This wasn’t normal.

There was a look in Adam's eye that his brothers couldn't quite fathom… not devilment, because that was more or less there all the time, but a sort of blank grayness that was far worse.

“Well… we don’t want to get blown up as well.” He tried to reason with the other boy, “Especially not with nuclear ones.”

“That’s how you get giant ants taking over the world.” Warlock piped up, “There’s a game about it. Or, it’ll be like those Mad Max films, where everyone’s going around with sawn-off shotguns, with knives and little guns and- “

"I wouldn't allow any giant ants or anything like that," said Adam, brightening up horribly. "And you'd all be all right. I'd see to that. It'd be wicked, eh, to have all the world to ourselves. Wouldn't it? We could share it out. We could have amazing games. We could have War with real armies an' stuff."

"But there wouldn't be any people," said Hari

"Oh, I could make us some people," said Adam airily. "Good enough for armies, at any rate. We could all have a quarter of the world each. Like, you'!-- he pointed to Hari, who recoiled as though Adam's finger were a white-hot poker- "could have India and the Asian countries, right? And Warlock can have America, and BB can have, can have Africa and Europe, and, and —"

Even in their state of mounting terror they gave this the consideration it deserved.

“U-Um.” BB stuttered, as the rising wind whipped at his t-shirt, “I don’t s-see why Warlock gets America? Why- “

“Why are you complaining?” Warlock frowned, “At least you lot get a lot of different countries, why do I only get the one? Can’t I have Australia as well?”

"Dog's goin' to have Australia," said Adam, his eyes glowing with the fires of creation, "On account of him needin' a lot of space to run about. An' there's all those rabbits and kangaroos for him to chase, and—"

The clouds spread forwards and sideways like ink poured into a bowl of clear water, moving across the sky faster than the wind.

"But there won't be any rab-" BB shrieked.

Adam wasn't listening, at least to any voices outside his own head. "It's all too much of a mess," he said. "We should start again. Just save the ones we want and start again. That's the best way. It'd be doing the Earth a favor, when you come to think about it. It makes me angry, seeing the way those old loonies are messing it up . . ."

…

Hari had a bad feeling about all this.

There was a lingering presence in the back of his mind, one that urged him to side with his brother, to bring about the end because Adam was right.

Everything would be better.

Another voice, very similar sounding to the first, urged him to take the opposite route. That he was better than that….he could help save the world in so many other ways.

He felt cold.

‘Who are you?’ He asked the voice mentally, trying to tune out Adam’s ranting.

‘I…am Death.’

Chapter Text

Warlock loved his brother, he really did. Adam was sort of their leader, and honestly, was Warlock’s best friend.

At the moment, he was being a massive prick. Pinching the bridge of his nose (a habit picked up from his Papa, although he wouldn’t realize that until he was much older), he watched as Adam’s ranting increased in volume and extravagant arm gestures, face darkening like an oncoming tsunami.

He then looked over at BB and Hari.

Hari didn’t even look like he was listening, face furrowed as though listening to something else, something MORE distressing than the breakdown their brother was having. BB looked over at Warlock though, looking just as upset as how Warlock felt at this entire situation.

Bullets of ice shredded the leaves around the Them as Adam led them down into the quarry, Dog slinking along behind them, tail between his legs as he whined.

Warlock understood the sentiment.

Trying to stop following Adam was a thing of the past…they just kept moving until they were far away from any other signs of life, Adam making them all sit on the dusty ground.

"We'll all be all right down here," he said.

"Er," said Warlock, "don't you think Dad and Papa- “

"Don't you worry about them," said Adam loftily. "I can make some new ones. There won't be any of this being in bed by half past nine, either. You don't ever have to go to bed ever, if you don't want to… Or tidy your room or anything. You just leave it all to me and it will be great." He gave them a manic smile. "I've got some new friends comin'," he confided. "You'll like 'em."

There was a strange tone in his voice.

“But- “Warlock began, only for Adam to cut him off.

"You just think of all the amazin' stuff afterwards," said Adam enthusiastically. "You can fill up America with all new cowboys an' Indians an' policemen an' gangsters an' cartoons an' spacemen and stuff. Won't that be fantastic?"

Warlock looked at the other two again, both of whom were looking back at him, no small amount of alarm in their faces.

"But before all that," said Adam darkly, "We're really goin' to show 'em . . ."

This wasn’t like the other games that they’d play.

Playing at being nights, pretending to pull wooden swords out of stones, pretending to have magic, until the magic actually seemed to be real.

This didn’t feel like a game.

And then everything went to shit.

….

Aziraphale hated that he was lying to Crowley about this. Going back to the shop was a spur of the moment decision, giving him the space to try and collect his thoughts together, even as the wind picked up a bit outside.

He walked around the shop, picking up bits of paper and dropping them again, fiddling with pens.

There was a knock at the shop door, despite the CLOSED sign.

He ignored it.

He knew he should be telling Heaven what was going on right now, but Adam…Adam was his son, he just couldn’t do that to him. He glanced at the threadbare bookshop carpet, where there was a small circle chalked on the floorboards underneath, surrounded by suitable passages from the Cabala.

It would be easy to call Heaven.

But he just couldn’t

Although, perhaps he could get a bit more information.

He lit seven candles, placing them ritually at certain points around the circle. Then he lit some incense, which was not necessary but did make the place smell nice. And then he stood in the circle and said the Words.

Nothing happened.

He said the Words again.

Eventually a bright blue shaft of light shot down from the ceiling and filled the circle.

A well-educated voice said, "Well?"

"It's me, Aziraphale."

"We know," said the voice.

“I have a few questions regarding the Antichrist and the upcoming…battle.”

"We will win, Aziraphale."

“Of course, but- “

"The forces of darkness must be beaten. We have been waiting a long time, Aziraphale."

Aziraphale felt the coldness envelop his mind. He opened his mouth to say, "Do you think perhaps it would be a good idea not to hold the war on Earth?" and changed his mind. "I see," he said grimly.

There was a scraping near the door, and if Aziraphale had been looking in that direction he would have seen a battered felt hat trying to peer over the fanlight.

“Do you have any other questions?”

“No.” The bitterness in his voice would have soured milk. "I'd forgotten about ineffability, obviously."

"We thought you had."

"May I ask," said the angel, "to whom have I been speaking?"

The voice said, "We are the Metatron."

"Oh, yes. Of course. Oh. Well. Thank you very much. Thank you."

Behind him the letterbox tilted open, revealing a pair of eyes.

"One other thing," said the voice. "You will of course be joining us, won't you?"

"Well, er, of course it has been simply ages since I've held a flaming sword-" Aziraphale began.

"Yes, we recall," said the voice. "You will have a lot of opportunity to relearn."

"Ah. Hmm. What sort of initiating event will precipitate the war?" said Aziraphale.

"We thought a mufti-nation nuclear exchange would be a nice start."

"Oh. Yes. Very imaginative." Aziraphale's voice was flat and hopeless., imagining Adam standing in amongst the wreckage of the Earth, everything burning behind him.

"Good. We will expect you directly, then," said the voice.

"Ah. Well. I'll just clear up a few business matters, shall I?" said Aziraphale desperately.

"There hardly seems to be any necessity," said the Metatron.

Aziraphale drew himself up. "I really feel that probity, not to say morality, demands that as a reputable businessman I should- “

"Yes, yes," said the Metatron, a shade testily. "Point taken. We shall await you, then."

The light faded but did not quite vanish.

‘They're leaving the line open’, Aziraphale thought. ‘I'm not getting out of this one.’

Crowley was not going to be impressed.

"Hallo?" he said softly, "Anyone still there?"

There was silence.

Very carefully, he stepped over the circle and crept to the telephone. He opened his notebook and dialed another number, needing to speak to Crowley as soon as he could.

After four rings it gave a little cough, followed by a pause, and then a voice which sounded so laid back you could put a carpet on it said, "Hi. This is Anthony Crowley. Uh. I-"

"Crowley!" Aziraphale tried to hiss and shout at the same time, "Listen! I haven't got much time! The-"

"-probably not in right now, or asleep, and busy, or something, but –"

"Shut up! Listen! You’ve got to get to Adam and the boys and- “

"-after the tone and I'll get right back to you. Chow."

"I want to talk to you now-"

BeeeEEeeeEEeee

Aziraphale hated modern technology, taking the phone away from his mouth. "Bugger!" he said.

It was the first time he'd sworn in more than four thousand years.

Hold on

The cottage had a number, didn’t it?

Summoning the phone book to his hand, he fumbled through the pages until he found the number, nearly dropping it on the floor.

They would be getting impatient soon.

He found the other number.

He dialed it.

It was answered almost immediately, at the same time as the shop's bell tingled gently.

Crowley's voice, getting louder as it neared the mouthpiece, said, "-really mean it. Hallo?"

"Crowley, it's me!"

"Ngh." The voice was horribly noncommittal. Even in his present state, Aziraphale sensed trouble.

"Are you alone?" he said cautiously.

"Nuh. Got an old friend here."

“The boys- “

"Awa' we ye, ye spawn o' hell!"

Very slowly, Aziraphale turned around.

Chapter Text

**A Few Hours Earlier***

Crowley wasn’t sure he’d ever been as happy as he was in his entire immortal life than when he was with Aziraphale, and yes, he was including the moment when he watched the universe come to life in a burst of light and colour.

Even then, Aziraphale had been there though, so, perhaps that was what contributed to that?

Who knows.

Adding the children was an unexpected, but pleasant addition, and for a long time, that had been that.

It was hard to believe that the week before this even started, they had been just one happy family. Now, he was facing down two of his colleagues, and it sounded like Aziraphale was having issues of his own.

The boys were…well, it wasn’t hard to sense that Adam was coming into his powers, and if Adam was coming into his powers…It was all over.

It was NEARLY all over.

He and Aziraphale just needed to remind him that THEY were the parents. They were the adults and THEY were in charge, and then everything would be fine.

Right?

"Reports are coming in," said a worried newscaster, "uh, reports are, well, nobody seems to know what's going on, but reports available to us would seem to, uh, indicate an increase in international tensions that would have undoubtedly been viewed as impossible this time last week when, er, everyone seemed to be getting on so nicely. Er....This would seem at least partly due to the spate of unusual events which have occurred over the last few days. Off the coast of Japan-"

‘CROWLEY?’

Crowley winced. He had been staring out of the window, wondering where the boys had gotten to, listening to the radio as the situation got worse and worse.

Aziraphale was trying to get a hold of some of his contacts, to try and figure out what they should do next, but judging by the silence on his end, he wasn’t any more successful.

“Yes?” he finally answered.

‘WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON, CROWLEY? WHAT EXACTLY HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?’

"How do you mean?" Crowley asked, although he already knew.

THE BOY CALLED DAMIEN. WE HAVE BROUGHT HIM TO THE FIELDS OF MEGGIDO. THE DOG IS NOT WITH HIM. THE CHILD KNOWS NOTHING OF THE GREAT WAR. HE IS NOT OUR MASTER'S SON.’

“...Ah.”

‘IS THAT ALL YOU CAN SAY, CROWLEY? OUR TROOPS ARE ASSEMBLED, THE FOUR BEASTS HAVE BEGUN TO RIDE, BUT WHERE ARE THEY RIDING TO? SOMETHING HAS GONE WRONG, CROWLEY AND IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. AND, IN ALL PROBABILITY, YOUR FAULT. WE TRUST YOU HAYS A PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR ALL THIS . . .’

“Yep!”

Where were those boys?!

“A really reasonable explanation!”

Where?!

‘...BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE YOUR CHANCE TO EXPLAIN IT ALL TO US. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE ALL THE TIME THERE IS TO EXPLAIN. AND WE WILL LISTEN WITH GREAT INTEREST TO EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY. AND YOUR CONVERSATION. AND THE CIRCUMSTANCES THAT WILL ACCOMPANY IT, WILL PROVIDE A SOURCE OF ENTERTAINMENT AND PLEASURE FOR ALL THE DAMNED OF HELL, CROWLEY BECAUSE NO MATTER HOW RACKED WITH TORMENT, NO MATTER WHAT AGONIES THE LOWEST OF THE DAMNED ARE SUFFERING, CROWLEY, YOU WILL HAVE IT WORSE-

With a gesture, Crowley turned the set off, only for the dull grey-green screen continued enunciating; the silence formed itself into words.

DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT TRYING TO ESCAPE US, CROWLEY THERE IS NO ESCAPE. STAY WHERE YOU ARE. YOU WILL BE . . . COLLECTED . . .

Crowley looked out of the window again and looked out. Something black and car-shaped was moving slowly down the street toward him. It was car-shaped enough to fool the casual observer. Crowley, who was observing very carefully, noticed that not only were the wheels not going round, but they weren't even attached to the car. It was slowing down as it passed each house; Crowley assumed that the car's passengers (neither of them would be driving; neither of them knew how) were peering out at the house numbers.

He had a little time.

He was grateful that the boys were out.

He went into the kitchen and got a plastic bucket from under the sink. One of the ones that the boys used to use for beach and that Aziraphale must have decided to store here.

Then he went back to the lounge.

The Infernal Authorities had ceased communicating. Crowley turned the television to the wall…just in case. He then walked over to a woodland picture that was hanging on the wall, one that Aziraphale liked, but probably had no idea what was hiding behind it. He lifted the picture down from the wall, revealing a safe. He unlocked it, revealing an inner door with a dial tumble lock. He spun the dial (4-0-0-4 was the code, easy to remember, the year he had slithered onto this stupid, marvellous planet, back when it was gleaming and new).

Not long after that, he’d met Azirpahale.

Inside the safe were a thermos flask, two heavy PVC gloves, of the kind that covered one's entire arms, and some tongs.

There was a similar safe back at the bookshop, just for emergencies.

He eyed the flask nervously, hearing a crash coming from the front door, prompting him to get a move on. He pulled on the gloves and gingerly took the flask, and the tongs, and the bucket-and, as an afterthought, he grabbed the plant mister from beside a luxuriant rubber plant (Aziraphale was so proud of them, Crowley didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth).

So many times, the boys had played this prank on them, (which was why these flasks were hidden), so know it was time to pass that knowledge on.

.....

Hari felt like his head going to explode, images flashing through it.

An old ratty hat being placed on his head.

A three-headed dog.

A gigantic snake.

Werewolves.

A goblet burning bright blue with fiercely hot flames.

An unknown teen’s eyes glazed over in death.

No.

No.

No.

NO!

Everything went white.

….

Crowley felt rather than heard the shockwaves that swept through the village, watching as the two demons stepped into the room. With the combination of the shockwave and of Ligur pushing open the door made the bucket teeter, then fall neatly on Ligur's head.

Drop a lump of sodium in water. Watch it flame and burn and spin around crazily, flaring and sputtering…This was like that; just nastier. The demon peeled and flared and flickered. Oily brown smoke oozed from it, and it screamed, and it screamed and it screamed. Then it crumpled, folded in on itself, and what was left lay glistening on the burnt and blackened circle of carpet, looking like a handful of mashed slugs.

“Hi.” Crowley to Hastur, who had been walking behind Ligur, and had unfortunately not been so much as splashed.

There are some things that are unthinkable: there are some depths that not even demons would believe other demons would stoop to.

". . . Holy water. You bastard," said Hastur. "You complete bastard. He hadn't never done nothing to you."

"Yet," corrected Crowley, who felt a little more comfortable, now the odds were closer to even. Closer, but not yet even, not by a long shot. Hastur was a Duke of Hell. Crowley wasn't even a local counsellor.

"Your fate will be whispered by mothers in dark places to frighten their young," said Hastur, and then felt that the language of Hell wasn't up to the job. "You're going to get taken to the bloody cleaners, pal," he added.

Crowley raised the green plastic plant mister and sloshed it around threateningly. "Go away," he said. He heard the phone ringing from the other room. Four times, and then the ansaphone caught it.

Probably Aziraphale.

"You don't frighten me," said Hastur. He watched a drip of water leak from the nozzle and slide slowly down the side of the plastic container, toward Crowley's hand.

"Do you know what this is?" asked Crowley. "This is a Sainsbury's plant mister, cheapest and most efficient plant mister in the world. It can squirt a fine spray of water into the air. Do I need to tell you what's in it? It can turn you into that, " he pointed to the mess on the carpet. "Now, go away."

Then the drip on the side of the plant mister reached Crowley's curled fingers, and stopped. "You're bluffing," said Hastur.

"Maybe I am," said Crowley, in a tone of voice which he hoped made it quite clear that bluffing was the last thing on his mind. "And maybe I'm not. Do you feel lucky?"

Hastur gestured, and the plastic bulb dissolved like rice paper, spilling water all over Crowley's desk, and all over Crowley's suit.

"Yes," said Hastur. And then he smiled. His teeth were too sharp, and his tongue flickered between them. "Do you?"

Crowley said nothing. Plan A had worked. Plan B had failed. Everything depended on Plan C, and there was one drawback to this: he had only ever planned as far as B.

"So," hissed Hastur, "time to go, Crowley."

"I think there's something you ought to know," said Crowley, stalling for time.

"And that is?" smiled Hastur.

Then the phone on Crowley's desk rang.

He picked it up, and warned Hastur, "Don't move. There's something very important you should know, and I really mean it. Hallo?”

“Crowley- “

Of course.

“Ngh," said Crowley. “Nuh. Got an old friend here."

Aziraphale hung up on him. Crowley felt his heart sink into his stomach.

Something was wrong.

Everything was going wrong.

And suddenly Plan C was there, in his head. He didn't replace the handset on the receiver. Instead he said, "Okay, Hastur. You've passed the test. You're ready to start playing with the big boys."

"Have you gone mad?"

"Nope. Don't you understand? This was a test. The Lords of Hell had to know that you were trustworthy before we gave you command of the Legions of the Damned, in the War ahead."

"Crowley, you are lying, or you are insane, or possibly you are both," said Hastur, but his certainty was shaken. Just for a moment he had entertained the possibility; that was where Crowley had got him. It was just possible that Hell was testing him. That Crowley was more than he seemed. Hastur was paranoid, which was simply a sensible and well-adjusted reaction to living in Hell, where they really were all out to get you.

Crowley began to dial a number. "'S'okay, Duke Hastur. I wouldn't expect you to believe it from me, " he admitted. "But why don't we talk to the Dark Council-I am sure that they can convince you."

The number he had dialed clicked and started to ring.

"So long, sucker!" he said.

And vanished.

In a tiny fraction of a second, Hastur was gone as well.

Chapter Text

He was in a void of white.

He’d forgotten how much he hated this colour. After just over a decade surrounded by children and all the colours that came with, this endless void of white was disturbing.

“Crowley?” He whispered, like he would just appear in front of him, “I don’t want to be here alone.”

Oh God.

What if Crowley thought he was gone for good.

That just couldn’t happen.

He couldn’t let his love go through that grief.

He couldn’t let his children go through losing him.

He had to go back, no matter what.

…

It was early afternoon, with heavy storm clouds above indicating that it would rain soon.

The firemen hoped the rain would come soon.

The sooner the better.

They had arrived fairly promptly, and the younger firemen were dashing around excitedly, unrolling their hosepipe and flexing their axes; the older firemen knew at a glance that the building was a dead loss, and weren't even sure that the rain would stop it spreading to neighbouring buildings, when a black Bentley skidded around the corner and drove up onto the pavement at a speed somewhere in excess of sixty miles per hour, and stopped with a screech of brakes half an inch away from the wall of the bookshop.

An extremely agitated young man in dark glasses got out and ran toward the door of the blazing bookshop.

They had interviewed the neighbours who said that the family who lived there was on holiday…but they were sure that they’d seen the owner enter earlier.

This was probably the husband.

None of wanted to break the news to him.

They were all grateful that no-one had seen the children, and that they weren’t here right now.

“Excuse me, are you owner- “

"Don't be stupid! Do I look like I run a bookshop?!”

He opened his mouth to explain that he had actually wanted to know for certain if he was the husband, and that he didn’t like to make assumptions about how people looked and what they might do as a job, but before he could say anything, the man was running into the bookshop, somehow dodging everyone in his path.

…

It was an inferno.

The whole bookshop was on fire.

All the books that Aziraphale had collected over the centuries.

All the paintings that their sons had done.

All his plants.

Everything.

“Aziraphale!” He called out, “Aziraphale, you-you stupid- Aziraphale?! Are you here?!”

No answer.

Just the crackling of burning paper, the splintering of glass as the fire reached the upstairs rooms, the crash of collapsing timber. He scanned the shop urgently, desperately, looking for his angel.

In the far corner a bookshelf toppled over, cascading flaming books across the floor. The fire was all around him, and Crowley ignored it. His left trouser leg began to smoulder; he stopped it with a glance.

"Hello? Aziraphale! For Go-, for Sa-, for somebody's sake! Aziraphale!"

The shop window was smashed from outside. Crowley turned, startled, and an unexpected jet of water struck him full in the chest, knocking him to the ground. His shades flew to a far corner of the room and became a puddle of burning plastic. Yellow eyes with slitted vertical pupils were revealed. Wet and steaming, face ash-blackened, as far from cool as it was possible for him to be, on all fours in the blazing bookshop.”

How had it all gone so horribly?

Was this ineffable plan?

This?

Then he looked down and saw it.

The book.

The book that the girl had left in the car in Tadfield, on Wednesday night. It was slightly scorched around the cover, but miraculously unharmed. He picked it up, stuffed it into his jacket pocket, stood up, unsteadily, and brushed himself off.

“Bastards.” He hissed, “BASTARDS!”

The floor above him collapsed. With a roar and gargantuan shrug, the building fell in on itself, in a rain of brick and timber and flaming debris.

Outside, the passersby were being herded back by the police, and a fireman was explaining to anyone who would listen, "I couldn't stop him. He must have been mad, or desperate to save his husband. All the neighbours say they saw the owner in there, and the other man just ran straight in! Horrible way to die. Horrible, horrible. Just ran straight in…”

Then Crowley came out of the flames.

The police and the firemen looked at him, saw the expression on his face, and stayed exactly where they were, watching as he climbed into the Bentley and reversed back into the road, swung around a fire truck, into Wardour Street, and into the darkened afternoon.

"Weather like this, he ought to have put his lights on,"

"Especially driving like that. Could be dangerous,"

There was a flash of lightning, blue-white, strobing across the cloud-black sky, a crack of thunder so loud it hurt, and a hard rain began to fall.

..

They had all felt it.

The pain inside them, like something snapped inside of them.

It was probably what tipped Adam over the edge, as the storm raged around the quarry. The rope with the old car tire on it danced in the gale. Sometimes a sheet of iron, relic of an attempt at a tree house, would shake loose and sail away.

BB, Hari and Warlock huddled together, staring at Adam.

He seemed bigger, somehow.

Dog sat and growled.

Adam didn’t notice anything about this, marching back and forth, “They took something.” He was hissing, “They TOOK it!” He turned and looked at them, “We’re going to take it back! We’re going to take it ALL away from them!”

Hari couldn’t bring himself to argue about that.

He didn’t know what it was, but there was definitely something wrong and if Adam said that something was taken, then something was taken.

But what?

None of them dared to ask.

They huddled tighter together and hoped for it all to be over soon.

Chapter Text

Adam had no idea what was going on.

He felt like he could reach out and crush the moon if he wanted.

He felt like he could create deserts with the click of a finger.

He felt in control.

....

Aziraphale couldn’t find a host.

He needed to find a host to stop his son from destroying the Earth, the Earth that Adam did love, even if he complained about the unfairness of it sometimes.

The Earth was shaking.

....

Crowley was doing a hundred and twenty miles an hour down Oxford Street.

The End was near, and he had already lost so much.

He couldn’t lose his sons as well.

He headed to Tadfield as quickly as he could, ignoring the jabbering that was coming through the radio.

At least, until the tone changed.

“CROWLEY.”

He stayed quiet.

“CROWLEY THE WAR HAS BEGUN, CROWLEY WE NOTE WITH INTEREST THAT YOU AVOIDED THE FORCES WE EMPOWERED TO COLLECT YOU.”

“Mm.”

“CROWLEY . . . WE WILL WIN THIS WAR. BUT EVEN IF WE LOSE, AT LEAST AS FAR AS YOU ARE CONCERNED, IT WILL MAKE NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL. FOR AS LONG AS THERE IS ONE DEMON LEFT IN HELL, CROWLEY, YOU WILL WISH YOU HAD BEEN CREATED MORTAL.”

Silence.

“MORTALS CAN HOPE FOR DEATH, OR FOR REDEMPTION. YOU CAN HOPE FOR NOTHING. ALL YOU CAN HOPE FOR IS THE MERCY OF HELL.”

“…Oh?”

“JUST OUR LITTLE JOKE.”

The radio news continued to play, as Crowley’s grip on the steering wheel tightened.

He had to get to his sons.

He could worry about Hell later.

…He was scared, he wasn’t going to deny that, but beneath that fear, there was the anger.

Turning a corner, he cursed when he saw the state of the M25…one of his little projects that had now turned into a nightmare for him.

And he had been so proud of himself for it.

Snapping his fingers, summoning a new pair of sunglasses onto his face, his grip tightened on the steering wheel, and he pressed the accelerator down as far as he could.

Nobody was going to stop him.

....

“Should we try and stop him?”

Hari couldn’t look over at BB, all of them now leaving the woods, and following Adam to who knows where.

Adam wasn’t looking at them, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t listening.

Hari had the feeling that his brother could probably hear what they were thinking, let alone with what they were saying.

“I don’t think we can.”

….

Aziraphale had a host.

Now he just had to get to Tadfield.

…..

Newt and Anathema rushed towards the local airfield, hoping to get there before everything went to shit.

….

They followed Adam steadily down the road, none of them daring to break away. Dog seemed very excited beside him, running circles around his legs.

They hadn’t grown up here, and yet, Adam seemed to know exactly where they were going.

“We’re going to the military base.”

None of them had said anything.

“Why?” Warlock asked softly, “I doubt they have bombs there anymore, so why- “

“- We can do a lot without bombs.” Adam stated firmly, “Like…I'm thinking more of certain people patching into the worldwide military communications network and telling all the computers and stuff to start fighting."

They all looked at each, as Adam turned back to face them, an almost empty smile on his face.

“Cool, right?”           

They were getting some strange looks as they passed through the streets, but as soon as the strange looks appeared, they disappeared just as quickly, an almost glazed look replacing the suspicion.

Kids shouldn't be going towards the air base...and yet, nobody was stopping them.

.....

Aziraphale couldn't see the boys anywhere.

He was starting to panic, just a little.

....

They nearly bumped into Adam when he suddenly stopped, all of them looking at each other before BB tapped him on the shoulder. "What are we doing?"

"I'm thinking." Adam looked strange, voice distant, "We need a sword, a crown and some scales."

They just stared at him.

"I...don' think we can just find those things lying around." Hari pointed out softly.

"We'll find them."

.....

Crowley screeched to a half in front of the airbase, car smoking as he stepped out, frowning when he saw two humans standing there.

And one was beaming at him.

"Has the world ended already?" He blurted out.

"He won't let us in Crowley."  The beaming woman stated and with a jolt, Crowley felt like he could breath again.

He felt like his legs were wobbling as he moved closer.

"Aziraphale." He sighed in relief, giving him a shaky smile, "That's a nice dress."

Were they alone (and if Aziraphale wasn't in the body of a normal human, consent issues and all that), he would show his love just how relieved he was to see him again. As it stood, he just gestured at the Bentley, "Look at that, you wouldn't get a performance like that out of modern cars."

He didn't dare touch it, knowing that one good hit would probably cause it to collapse and he was feeling emotionally vulnerable as it was.

Then, there was a little electronic click.

"Hey!" The guard snapped, "Which one of you's did that?!"

And then Dog came zipping past, followed by four familiar children.

"BOYS!" Aziraphale shrieked, "STOP RIGHT THERE!"

He was ignored.

When the guard tried to stop them, he disappeared with a snap of Aziraphale's fingers, Crowley giving him an impressed look. "Well done. Never thought you had it in you."

"No," said Aziraphale. "Nor did I, in fact. I do hope I haven't sent him somewhere dreadful."

"Get used to it. Sometimes, you just send them wherever."

Aziraphale wasn't paying attention, eyes focused on the small figures in the distance.

"BOYS!"

....

“What are these people going to look like?” Hari asked.

“...All sorts.”

“But are they grown-ups?” BB then asked, “Because we’re not supposed to talk to strangers, strange grownups really.”

"Yes," said Adam. "More grown-up than you've ever seen before, I reckon...and they’re not strangers. Not really.”

“And you want us to fight them?” Warlock scowled, “Maybe you and Hari might find it easy, maybe BB as well, but what about me?”

“We’re not going to have to fight them, I told you that. Just do what I tell you.”

“BOYS!”

BB looked behind them, seeing an older woman near the entrance. “Ummm, do we- “

He was cut off as he was pulled into the base, only just noticing the guard that seemed to have collapsed where they were, like a puppet having its’ strings cut. Thankfully, they were snoring and not- you know.

The door shut behind them, and the older woman’s face looked panicked.