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Into My Own Nowhere

Summary:

Jin tries to go back but finds that the only way is forward.

Chapter 1: The Return

Chapter Text

"Shino?"

"Yes."

The female monk stared in consternation at the long-haired man wearing an indigo kimono, a pair of glasses balanced on his nose, and two sheathed blades securely fastened at the waist. His expression was calm, but there was an intensity in the question he'd posed when he'd asked about their temple's former ward.

He was a formidable sight, tall and intimidating in his silence and calm demeanor. As one of the guards to the temple, she'd been trained to fight and defend against invaders. Her job always left her vulnerable against men seeking the inhabitants of this temple, but she'd managed to turn away every last one who meant her and the rest of the women inside their temple harm.

This time, though, she was sure that if she did something to offend him, she might be cut down before she'd even finished giving voice to her opinion. She glanced at the katana nervously and hoped that whatever answer she gave would appease him.

"Am I permitted to see her?"

Despite her fears, she answered him honestly. "I am under no obligation to reveal to you any information about anyone, especially when you show up here with no warning. I hope you understand. We only wish to keep our people safe."

"Yes, of course. I understand. Please forgive my intrusion."

The eyes behind the glasses revealed neither anger nor disappointment. He bowed instead, surprising her with the easy way he accepted her word. It somehow made the monk feel bad for denying him the answer he wanted to hear.

He was about to turn around, but the monk was suddenly hit with a feeling that this time around, maybe Shino might want this particular person to know what had happened.

"Wait."

The man stopped and faced her again but waited in silence, which made the monk wonder why he'd come here to search for Shino. She had been a wonderful addition to the temple when she'd arrived a year ago after she'd escaped her first husband. Based on Shino's descriptions of that no-good gambler, this man standing before her was not the man she'd previously married. Besides, he didn't look like a man who spent his days indoors wagering against impossible odds.

In fact, he almost seemed trustworthy, somebody who Shino would have befriended.

"I'm allowing an exception in this instance because I have a feeling that you care for her and truly wish her no ill will."

"Thank you," he responded, his gaze earnest as he saw the softening in her stance. "She was a friend. I'm merely here to make sure she was safe from her past."

The monk nodded. That was a good answer, and somehow, she believed him when he said he was Shino's friend. She was right to trust her instincts then. "So you know about her debt-ridden husband who'd sold her to the brothel?"

His jaw clenched. "I've met her husband, yes." But then his face relaxed when he added, "I convinced her to leave the brothel."

"Oh!" the monk said, finally understanding who this samurai was. "She mentioned you before. You're Jin, the wandering ronin."

"I am."

"Shino said you saved her life."

"No, she was brave enough to escape. I only helped her find the way here."

"You did more than that."

He shook his head and added nothing more.

"However, she admitted that she never expected to see you again."

There was a tenseness to his words when he said, "She doesn't want to see me then."

"No!" she responded hastily. Again, she peered into his face to gauge his reaction, but he gave nothing away. His feelings were tightly held—almost too much. "You mistake me. That's not what I meant."

"Is there a different meaning?"

"Shino's no longer here," the monk finally answered his question. "She left a few months ago."

"Left," he murmured, his voice low. It seemed to the monk that he was surprised to hear that, but she wasn't sure because his face was expressionless. "I see."

The monk explained further, "We were happy to let her go, of course, because it was her choice."

"Then her leaving here was of her own volition."

The monk happily nodded. "Yes. She left with her new husband."

It might have been her imagination, but the monk shivered because she suddenly felt a cool wind blow through the room. But surely that was impossible because it was June, and the months in Hamamatsu were usually warm at this time.

But the man named Jin said nothing in response.

"Was there anything in particular you wanted with her?" the monk pressed. "I believe she mentioned she was heading up to Echigo in the north to start a new life."

A terse beat of silence, but the man with the katana shook his head. "No, nothing." He then bowed. "Thank you for the information. I will take my leave and apologize for taking up your time."

He took a few steps, but then he stopped at the entrance. Without looking back at the monk, he asked, "Was she happy with her new husband?"

The monk laughed and eagerly gave her response to the question: "Very!"

The ronin nodded and continued walking away from the monk who sat guarding the gates of Enkiri Temple.