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Her eyes were as bright as the sun, glowing at every moment. "Eula!" Amber waved, smiling, eyes curving with pure joy. Eula's eyes soften at the sight her chest constricting. "Amber." She has more poise, elegance, and ease as she speaks. It's calming in a juxtaposed manner.
Her ears were always this deep red, filled with chills and passion through and through. "You're back!" Amber squeals, taking her friend into a deep embrace. Eula awkwardly shifts but makes no move to turn away from Amber. Her simple radiant relief is enough to make even the coldest gazes melt.
Her stature so thin and almost fragile, waist so small and natural. Eula could take her in her arms in one smooth motion. "Indeed I am." She hums as Amber snuggles into her chest. The action is a bit ridiculous but Eula allows it as she does with most things Amber does.
Her lips. Eula holds her breath. Need she say more?
"How was your trip? No injuries, right? Any new cool stories to share? We have so much to catch up! Sara put this new entry on the menu that I'm sure you're going to love. Let's have dinner together, tonight." Amber rambles quickly as she always does.
Eula hangs onto her every single word with all the attention she can muster. "We have all day to talk, if you run out of energy I will be sure to take my vengeance on you." Eula hums.
Amber grins, "But wouldn't it be unsightly for an aristocrat to be taking advantage of such a weak person?" She says, her eyes peering up to her as if she knew. As if she could see through Eula's soul, her heart. Eula huffs, "Perhaps so. Vegeance will have to wait then."
"So, dinner date? At 7?" Amber says, tugging her hand into her own. Eula stares at it for a moment, gaze filled with question. Amber flushes a bright red as she lets her hand go. Eula tears her gaze away and intertwines their fingers instead.
Eula yearned with every breath she took. She yearned something that was never supposed to be hers. "At 7 then."
"And!" Amber jumps. "And?" Eula responds with a softer tone. "Are you not tired?" Amber's lips part with worry, eyebrows furrowing and Eula tries not to chuckle at the sight. "Yes, I am completely fine." Eula nods assuringly. "I was able to get my fair share of rest over at Liyue. Their hospitality was beyond me." Eula squeezes her hand.
The gesture makes Amber shoot her a brighter smile. "No injuries, right?" She says. "None, not even a scratch." Eula responds with similar vigor. "Great! I can take you everywhere I've been wanting to go with you since you left." Amber's mood has risen significantly with just her presence and the thought has Eula clearing her throat.
"There is no rush, truly, Amber." Eula reminds and Amber nods, her lips squirming. "I just missed you is all." Amber sighs lightly and Eula can't breathe all of a sudden. She doesn't let it show, she never does. It would be beyond improper of her to be expressive of her thoughts like so.
Eula would rather watch and listen to Amber animatedly talk about her day instead of rambling about her own. "I went to Starfell Valley, there's this cool cliff, right? Well, there were these lamp grass plants and I thought they were kind of like you." Amber hops around excitedly. "Like me?" Eula raises a soft eyebrow.
"Calming, cool, and collected. Maybe I found comfort in their glow." Amber smiles.
She looks perfect when she does.
Eula isn't quite sure what to respond to that. "Well, of course you are no Kaeya."
Eula glares at her. "A direct insult? A point of vegeance. Mark my words, outrider. I will make you pay." She releases their tightly held hands but Amber only tugs her back. "I'm only joking." She says, leaning in so adorably that Eula can't help the way her heart leaps in her chest.
She was in for a long day.
-
An aristocrat is collected and graceful at all times. An aristocrat is above all and well rounded. An aristocrat from the Lawrence Clan is a noble. Eula is a (not-so but still) member of the Lawrence household. That being said, she must maintain poise in every step and breath she takes.
"You know, cutie. This would be so much easier if you were more honest with yourself." Lisa has a teasing smile on her lips.
Eula tsks, turning away from her prying eyes. When Amber had said 'dinner date', Eula expected perhaps a light meal at Good Hunter. Perhaps a picnic out in the wildrness at most. However, of course her good friend was more than willing to go the extra mile.
From the moment Eula was called to Angel Share she had an impending feeling of doom coiling at her stomach. And from the looks of it she was right.
Amber had decided that it would be a great idea to throw Eula a small welcome back party for all the hardwork she had put into crushing the Abyss Order all the way to Liyue. Eula presses her lips together. Even Jean had made time to join her, "Lisa has no ill intentions. I hope you understand what she means." Jean flashes her a polite smile.
Eula only nods lightly. "However, I must say. I can see why you'd be disappointed. She did call you out here only to party with . . ." Jean's eyes trail over at Venti, Kaeya, Rosaria, and Amber. Eula sighs, "It's no big issue. Amber must have been pent up." Eula nods.
"She has been patrolling non-stop. She had asked me multiple times on our morning jogs when you'd be returning." Jean sips from her cup. Eula smiles awkwardly, fiddling with her fifth drink. "I have a question, consider this my act of vengeance." Eula can't find it in herself to meet the gaze of the Acting Grand Master.
Jean only nods her head, no pressure. Eula bites her lip, "Nevermind, I suppose I will take my revenge through other methods."
"Aw, come on. You've already spoken, might as well go all the way." Lisa winks and Eula sighs, nodding her head.
She takes a moment to breathe. "Yes, yes. Apologies, I have been quite indecisive as of late." Eula takes a long sip from her cup. The couple give her nothing but absolute patience.
"How did . . ." She clears her throat. "How did you two, erm," Eula sighs in frustration. "Seeing as you two seem to be . . . Related in a way or two," Eula continues to spout nonesense.
"Apologies, I'm not quite sure where I'm going with this." She admits eventually.
"I think we've understood your question." Jean muses and Eula can't help but feel thankful.
Lisa chuckles, "This one here." She lightly squeezes Jean's cheek. "She walked up to me on one of those early mornings and decided that she felt like confessing."
"That's all?" Eula says stunned. "That's all," Lisa nods. Jean has a blush on her face, she clears her throat. "So, Jean walked up to you, grabbed you, and said that she loved you?" Eula huffs and Jean sighs. "Well, if you put it like that . . ."
Eula grumbles, "I suppose approaching the situation naturally is within my abilities." She mumbles under her breath. "Let me ask a question since you asked one." Lisa taps her fingers onto the wooden counters. Her pointer and middle finger are missing polish, Eula notes.
"Knowing your impeding personality--"
"Lisa!"
"--you would have long tried to seduce our little outrider here." Lisa smiles. "Why haven't you taken the chance?" She says and Jean groans, rubbing her temples. Eula doesn't seem to see anything wrong with her question however. She's more focused on the content of it.
Eula presses her lips together. If she was sober she's sure she would have easily rejected Lisa's advances. "As much as I would not like to admit it, my reputation is beyond me." Eula sighs, running a hand through her hair in distress. "If . . . If Amber even reciprocated a flicker of my emotions and we somehow in a miracle moment, got together then she would be tortuously harassed." She leans her head onto the counter, the alcohol now fueling her system completely.
Lisa's eyebrow raises, she hadn't expected Eula to be that honest. "She's the Outrider of the Knights of Favonious, loved by all. Amber is supposed to be for the people. Being friends with a pesky Lawrence is damaging enough." She releases a breath.
"So then--"
"Lisa, how about we don't take advantage of our drunk Renaissance Captain's honesty?" Jean stops Lisa before she can overstep and Lisa only pouts.
"We were getting to the good part," She whines.
Eula hiccups, a familiar drunken habit she's had. "Are you alright, Eula? We'd be more than willing to take you home." Jean offers.
"I want to wait for Amber . . ." She whispers lightly. Lisa tugs Jean, her eyes trailing towards the
Outrider who's standing ontop of wobbling tables and squealing. "Trust me on this one." Lisa lowers her tone slightly. Jean glances into Lisa's eyes before sighing.
"Alright," Jean stands from the counter.
"You must have had so many struggles on your own." Lisa hums when it's just the two of them.
Eula blinks tiredly, "I don't seem to know what that means anymore." She feels her head swirl.
"Maybe that's the issue." Lisa smiles, tucking a hair behind Eula's ear endearingly.
"Eula!" Amber is jumping around energetically as Jean drags her back towards her friend. "Oh no, are you tired?" Amber's eyes soften.
The light thud of cup against wood is what makes Eula rise. "How are you not drunk and dead on the floor?" Diluc interjects, staring at Amber as he puts a cup of water in front of her.
"Thank you," Eula mumbles as takes the cup of water.
Amber chuckles, "I have a high tolerence."
She says proudly and Diluc sighs. Jean offers a light nod, "I suppose you four have no issues here? If not I will go deal with this bard." Diluc grumbles, making his way through.
A few dribbles of water slip through Eula's lips. "Let's head home?" Eula offers her hand towards Amber. "Sure," Amber takes it enthusiastically.
"See you Jean and Lisa!" Amber waves still filled with incredible amounts of energy.
The couple waves back giving Eula a curt nod.
Eula intertwines their hands as she usually does and she releases a breath. "I'm tired," She mumbles, clinging onto Amber. Amber doesn't seem to mind as she continues forth, opening the exit to Angel Share and leading Eula.
Amber hums, the evening air is warmer than usual. "Amber," Eula's words drag across the floor as she looks at the woman. She feels her heart squeeze at the way Amber smiles at her. "Yes?" Amber chuckles. Eula smiles back at her, a rare occurence.
"I take it you had fun?" Amber squeezes her hand and Eula sighs. "I suppose so," She replies, watching Amber try to barrel surf was in fact entertaining. They pass through the streets of Mondstadt, nearly no more citizens or vendors at the usually busy streets.
A breeze blows by, it's calming in a way Eula hadn't felt before. There's electricity at the tip of her fingers as she stops Amber. "What's up?" Amber tilts her head. Eula swallows the lump in her throat dryly. She blinks and a moment passes. Her eyes rake Amber for everything she has.
Her insanely breathtaking features and her golden-pure personality. Eula knows she's undeserving and she wishes for something that shouldn't be. She knows she can not keep indulging herself and sticking closer with maybes.
Amber's eyes stare into hers.
Eula clenches her jaw. She should not be thinking of sweet nothings and whispers. She should not be thinking of grabbing Amber and taking her to see the most beautiful places. She should not be thinking of Amber.
Not her eyes, not her smile, not her soft hands, or her sweet gaze. And most of all not her lips.
Eula releases a shaky breath.
8.
It takes 8 seconds.
"Eula?" Amber's voice is filled with shock as Eula presses her flushed against the wall of some corridor. It's dark, Eula can barely see Amber's face. "Forgive me just this once." She whispers, her arms trapping Amber. The moonlight seems to be against her, it shines perfectly, illuminating those golden eyes that stare at her with confusion.
"For what--"
Eula presses her lips against Amber's.
Amber's eyes widen.
They're frozen like a broken record screeching back and forth the same verse.
And all at once, everything crashes. Amber's lips softly part and she tilts her head, eyes close shut
like she doesn't care anymore. Because Eula sure as hell doesn't. Not when her arms are desperately clawing against Amber's waist and her lips are sweetly coaxing every breath she takes.
Her hand rising up Amber's leg as if to ask for permission to want. Amber releases a breathy whine, it's sharp and intoxicating. Eula takes everything she can to her memory. The way she tastes on her tongue, the sighs, the look in her eyes when they part, and once again when she pulls Eula in for more. "Eula," She's breathing hotly against her ear.
Eula can't contain herself anymore.
Everything truly comes crashing when she feels Amber tug against the intricate strings of her dressing. "Please," She whispers once more and Eula has lost her patience.
-
"This patrol is dealing with a few Fatui, Eula. It is nothing you yourself need to deal with immediately." Jean's worried face is embedded into her head.
"It is no worry, I have run out of work anyway."
Eula sighs into her hands, stress catching up with her. She knows she should have stayed to at least explain herself. She knows she shouldn't have left at the crack of dawn.
But the sight of Amber's bare back was enough to convince her she had to leave right then and there. Eula stands her claymore disappearing into thin air as she tries her best to focus on her mission. She told Jean she would finish this work and that she shall.
Eula releases a breath, her ears perking up at the sound of blades clashing. Eula's eyebrows furrow as she swiftly jumps up the hill, her eyes widening at the sight of a blonde female dealing with the nearby Fatui. She strikes the last Electro one to the ground.
Eula sighs as her eyes lock onto the Pyro Fatui sniper charging up an attack at the girl and her fairy.
Eula summoms her claymore and slides in to block the shot. She huffs, eyes assessing the situation before she sticks her claymore into the ground and dodges the next few bullets.
Eula uses the boulder as a jumpstart, rolling over and quickly jumping up the hilichurl tower with ease. She summoms her claymore, swinging it with cryo embeds. The fatui member seems to be nimble at the way he dodges. Eula lands on her feet right at the fence. She uses the moment of confusion to jump over the sniper with ease.
"Hah!" She swings her claymore once more with full force, striking the man onto the ground before landing promptly on her knee. "You don't think twice before reaching for your sword, do you?"
Eula sighs, rolling her eyes. "Do you have any idea how long I've been tracking these targets?" She had spent over four hours since dawn sitting in the wilderness and these two outlanders had the audacity to impede?
"And now you get to stake a claim. You think you're stronger cause you go to them first? Mark my words, vegeance will be mine." Eula huffs. She knows she probably shouldn't be throwing insults at strangers but with her current situation it's hard for her not to.
The two travelers exchange a glance before they try to explain themselves.
Eula figures out the whole situation with her uncle and the Fatui. Jean had explained or at least gave her a good implication on what was happening. That being said, all she can do is comply.
Despite the thought at the back of her head haunting her after hearing that Amber was the one who had sent the two down here.
Eula sends the two off as she makes her way back to Mondstadt, clearing the rest of the mess. She had much to deal with and now this? Eula sighs, perhaps this was a sign from the gods afterall.
A distraction from all that was happening.
"Eula," The voice breaks her out of her trance. Her feet come to a halt altogether.
Or maybe not so much
"Amber," She greets. Amber has no hair out of place but Eula can not simply shake the way Amber whispered her name off. No, Eula could not just ignore the way she knew that if she tugged her shirt down just a bit more she would see trails and trails of marks.
The last thing Eula needed today was to see Amber. "Apologies for cutting this short, I have a meeting with the traveler," She says. Amber's bottom lip quivers slightly.
"Eula," She says once more, Eula feels her knees go weak.
"Did you wait for me here?" Eula sighs, her feet finally reaching the bridge.
"Let us converse later."
Amber takes a breath in. "Please don't act like nothing happened."
"I will visit you later, Amber."
-
"I will not keep you any longer, Eula. It has been a long day. Thank you for accompanying the traveler." Jean smiles at her and Eula only nods back.
"It was my pleausure to make her acquaintance. Though she has given me many points of vegeance already." Eula flips her hair and Jean chuckles.
A silence.
"Eula," Jean sighs and Eula hates the feeling she gets.
"She's been waiting for you all day," Jean's eyes soften and Eula clenches her fist. She takes a breath in. "I don't want to hinder you or make you feel guilty. Nor do I wish to get in between your relationship with Amber. However, please take care of yourself and her. It is not healthy to avoid the situation." Jean squeezes her shoulder.
Eula sighs for what feels like the hundreth time today. "I was thinking of going to see her after this." She mumbles. "That's good." Jean nods her head. "I do not know if you've made your choice but please do take into consideration what she wants." Jean smiles tightly.
"I . . . I will try my best." Eula softens her tone.
"Then go ahead. Good night, Eula. I wish you the best." Jean nods and Eula bows her head lightly as she turns to take her leave.
Every moment Eula's mind frees itself from issues she finds herself replaying last night details.
Their tangled legs and the sweetness in every word. The unspoken I love yous that was never supposed to be. Eula feels a headache brew at the crown of her head.
Amber deserved the truth.
And that was simple in theory. The truth was that Eula could not pursue a relationship with Amber no matter how much she wished. She was not strong enough to hold Amber up when she needed to.
Not now.
Not when she felt the pressure of the prying eyes of Mondstadt gaze into her very being just because of her last name. Eula does not deserve Amber's love, not when she feels herself buckle at the crushing weight of her wrong doings. Not when even some of the Knights look at her like she's a mole.
Eula takes a deep breath in before pushing the door open. For the third time today her feet stop themselves from moving forward.
Just outside the headquarters, a seemingly very tired Amber was conversing with a Kaeya. Only when Kaeya nudges Amber towards Eula's direction is when her presence is noticed. She nods lightly, "Well it seems like I must take my leave." Kaeya has his usual suave.
His gaze turns glacial as he gives Eula a stern look. She wonders if it's because of her situation with Amber or because she's a Lawrence. She truly can't tell. "Eula!" Amber greets as usual. Eula sits down beside her, "Amber," She replies.
"You came."
"I said I'd come find you, yes. Even if it seems like you found me first." Eula mumbles and Amber laughs. It's missing it's usual brightness.
"Amber," Eula finds the words and forces them out her throat, keeping her composure as she always does. "I would like to apologize for my actions." Eula takes a breath in, breaking the silence first.
"Not only did I make many regrettable drunken choices, I have been ignoring you for the entire day." Eula says, her lips tightening.
Amber's eyes soften, "Your arm." She says and Eula's eyebrow raises.
"My arm?" She replies back, stunned at her apparent calmness.
"You've injured yourself," Amber sighs with worry and Eula swallows. She hadn't even realized the cut on her arm. "It's no big issue," She waves it off but Amber shakes her head.
However, Eula can not deny the way Amber grabs her hand and tugs her back into the Knights of Favonious headquarters. Amber holds a bouquet of lamp grass in her hands and Eula can't breathe.
"Take your shirt off."
"Excuse me?" Eula responds a bit flusteredly. "Come on now!" Amber grumbles and Eula sighs.
She nervously undoes the strings and buttonings of her uniform. Almost like she's retracing steps from yesterday. She tries not to let her thoughts show as she tugs her shoulder dressing off and finally her shirt comes undone. Amber tugs her tie down for her and undoes the belt at her waist.
Eula tries not to stare. "Your clothing is so difficult," Amber comments as the pain finally reaches Eula.
She winces at the air hitting her bare skin. It's usual paleness is gone with the deep cut and bruises trailing across her arm. "What did you even do to get this?" Amber sighs.
There are bruises on her ribs as well. "Quite a few things," Eula smiles lightly. Amber begins my disinfecting, she's dilligent and the nervousness begins to fade with every moment Eula spends in her presence. She had spent the entire day preparing to make things clear with Amber however here she was.
Amber begins to wrap her arm with a cloth, turning and tucking in between flaps. Eula stares, her eyes focusing on her face. Amber releases a sigh, "Is it too tight?"
Eula shakes her head.
"Alright,"
Amber smiles. "We should bandage your ribs too," She frowns and Eula can't find it in her to respond.
"Does it hurt?" Amber asks as her hands lightly graze Eula's bare waist. "No," Eula lies. Amber looks up and into her eyes. Eula tears her gaze away, she could not afford another mistake.
"Let's wrap it anyway." Amber clears her throat and Eula complies.
Amber rubs in some mint oil and perhaps Eula shouldn't have lied. She winces at the force of her fingers, feeling her knees weaken at the pain. Amber huffs, wrapping another cloth around her waist lightly. "There," She finally sighs in relief.
"Eula," Amber calls out. Eula looks up at her. She hadn't expected it but maybe she should have.
Amber presses a kiss onto her lips nervously.
Eula's eyes widen. Amber has a blush on her cheeks as she pulls back, "Sorry." She peeps immediately. "I thought maybe if . . . If you kissed back then you couldn't call it a drunk mistake anymore but I guess I am a coward afterall." Amber laughs airily.
Eula holds onto her wrist. "Amber," She tugs her onto her lap. "I am so sorry," She says breathlessly as she leans into Amber's warmth. "I'm sorry." She says again. Amber trembling hands cup Eula's cheeks.
"You do not have anything to be sorry for, Eula." Amber mutters. "I enjoyed every moment I spent with you and if you feel as though you can't do this then I won't pressure you."
Eula never cries.
And yet she can't ignore the pounding of her heart the swelling of her eyes. "I am not good enough for you," Eula admits carefully. Amber deserved to see the vulnerable parts of herself. The truth and honesty she held behind her pride. "I am sorry," Eula says again.
Amber shakes her head. "You are perfect, Eula."
"No, I am afraid of everything. I can not be someone you can look to for help and you deserve better. I wish I could turn back time. I wish I didn't have acted on my own volition and my selfish wishes. But archons above know how long I have yearned, Amber."
"I thought aristocrats kept their head held high at all times," Amber teases and Eula breathes slowly.
"I am a failure as an aristocrat and I am nothing else but that. A failed Lawrence." She whispers, Amber presses a kiss onto her forehead.
"I am always here for you."
Eula closes her eyes and tries to calm her mind. "But please do find me when you've found strength in your legs." Amber presses one last kiss onto her lips. It's so bittersweet. "At any time, let me know."
"Don't wait up for me." Eula's eyes are sincere and Amber dislikes how her chest hurts. Amber smiles lightly, "Goodnight then." She slowly stands, her hands clasped together.
"Goodnight, Eula." She repeats.
Eula hates how it sounds like goodbye. "I will see you in the morning." Her voice is raspy.
"You will," Amber nods. "Goodnight."
Three times.
Eula doesn't know which one of them were goodbyes, I love yous, and I'm sorrys. Maybe they were nothing at all.
Eula takes a breath in as the door clicks shut. The moonlight mocks her once more. Her eyes stare at the bouquet of lamp grass at the windowsill and she feels her nails dig into her skin.
Amber had deserved better afterall.