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I want you. I want you so badly I can’t stand it.
In the days leading up until their fight that really did test their relationship Chloe had one consistent thought. Despite everything that could have been wrong she still wanted Beca. She wanted Beca so badly that she hated herself for it. Because somehow Beca was her everything and without her nothing would really matter. She would lose everything if she lost Beca. And she hated that this girl had that hold over her.
When you left, it felt like the world got darker. Like I couldn’t truly see anything. Couldn’t feel anything.
When Beca left a huge part of Chloe cracked. She realized how much this girl meant to her. How much she lit up Chloe’s already bright world. How much she wormed her way into the cracks of Chloe’s life and filled every other empty part of her. She made her whole. The tiny alt girl made her life a thousand times brighter just by being in it. And after being friends for nearly 4 years and now dating for almost 2 years she didn’t know what to expect without Beca in her life. Beca was meant to be in Chloe’s life. She was 100% certain of this. She was almost just as certain that Beca would come back. Yes, she did have her doubts but she knew deep down that Beca would come back. After all, it would be ridiculous for them to destroy something so wonderful over something so stupid and menial.
She spent their time apart moping around and dwelling in the pain of Beca leaving. Even if it was just temporary it hurt just the same. She knew that eventually something would happen to test their relationship but that still couldn’t prepare her for the actual pain of it happening. Nothing could have prepared either of them for that. But it will make their relationship stronger in the end and that’s all that really matters.
But when you came back it was like being blinded by the sun on a hot summer day. You lit up my world again the second you stepped through that door. You weren’t gone long but damn did I miss you.
Beca meant so much to Chloe and now that she was back the redhead was going to make damn sure that she knew it.
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Beca’s mixes spoke for her when words failed her. Chloe’s known that since she heard that first mix Beca would let her listen to. Ever since Beca’s sophomore year she’ll let Chloe listen to her mixes as she works on them and expresses her frustration when she can’t get it to work the way she wants it to. On rare occasions Chloe has insight on what might work better and Beca takes these into consideration and sometimes makes something great out of them.
Chloe could see the influence she’s had on the younger girl because of how some of her mixes incorporate songs that only Chloe would listen to. Or a song that Chloe would sing around the house when it was stuck in her head. Or a song that was just too cheery to be Beca. Or at least too cheery to be the old Beca. And she absolutely loved to see how Beca has changed over the past couple of years and how much of an impact the redhead actually had on her.
I want you so bad. I’ve always wanted you. I will always want you. That’s never going to change.
Once everything was back to normal Chloe began to seriously consider their future. Seriously in the sense that she was getting ready to do something seemingly crazy but in reality who cares? She knew that this was the right decision. That everything she was thinking was definitely mutual and definitely the right choice. She knew. She just knew.