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"It's not my fault you don't like girls," Mike spits out. Immediate regret covers every inch of his face when he realizes what he said. The slight step back that Will takes is enough for Mike to comprehend the fact that he fucked up. Shit. I didn't mean it, he closes his eyes, desperately wishing to fix his mistake, “I’m not trying to be a jerk, okay? We’re not kids anymore.” He’s trying, he’s trying really hard, but he fails to notice how every word he lets out shatters Will’s heart a little more each time.
“I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never going to get girlfriends? That we’re just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”
You’re playing games with me right now, Mike, Will wants to say. Instead, he keeps quiet, fearing sobs would take place of words he feels the need to say. Stupid words. They go something like, I love you, or maybe, it is your fault I don’t like girls, it’s all your fault.
Will’s eyes well up uncontrollably,
“I guess I did.” He chokes out and grabs the handlebars of his bike, “I really did.” He turns away, taking off on his bike before Mike can say something that would make him feel worse than he already does.
Mike’s pleas for Will to come back almost work, Will stopped pedaling when he was sure Mike wouldn’t be able to see him through the pouring rain. He lets himself take a break, not caring for the icky feeling he got from his drenched clothes. If anyone were to pass by, they would just see a boy on his bike. That’s the best thing about crying in the rain, nobody notices. Such information is useless for Will however, nobody notices when he cries either way. He takes off again, this time directly home.
“Lucas wait, stay here,” Mike stops his friend from swinging his leg over his cycle’s seat.
"What? Why?” Lucas wanted to go after Will just as much as Mike did, regardless of their different intentions.
“I want to talk to him… alone,” Mike didn’t know for sure why he was telling Lucas to stay back. He didn’t know why he knew he needed to talk to his best friend by himself. He didn’t know much of anything these days. Half of the reason why had to do with Will. Or rather no, all of it did. His feelings are wrong, he's aware. He’s told himself that enough times to believe it. To know it. But knowing what he feels made him that much more passionate. Lucas contemplates ignoring his friend’s request, he knew he was in the wrong too, and he needed to apologize himself. He looks at Mike—ready to deny—but Mike's pale face struck with tears, his eyes red as if he hadn't slept for five days. His friend’s knuckles were turning white with how hard he was gripping his handlebars.
Will means a lot to Mike, Lucas was always aware of that. He’d been catching Mike stare at Will more times than he could count, he never brought it up to either of them of course, he thought it was just the casual actions of a concerned friend.
But looking back thoroughly, he grasps what he thinks could be Mike’s true feelings.
They would explain a lot. The constant worrying about Will’s health, the nonstop “are you okay”s, the overprotectiveness. If he’s being honest, he first had his suspicions on Halloween. Lucas had never seen Mike act so caring and so gentle to anybody like that before. Not even El. He was confused with it all, definitely, but he couldn’t bring himself to refuse staying behind.
“Thanks, man,” Mike sighs in relief and heaves himself onto his bike.
“Yeah,” Lucas places his hand on Mike’s back, “Good luck, dude.” Mike nods his head slightly, giving a grin. It's small and quick, but it's there. Then, he leaves Lucas standing alone in his garage.
Will throws his bike down on his front yard, nearly slipping on the mud. His tears still haven’t run out and neither has his hatred for himself.
“Stupid,” he says, low enough so only he can hear it. But when he reaches Castle Byers, he screams it as if it’s the only word he knows. He crawls inside the wooden structure, the place where he was supposed to feel the safest. But now? It’s the one place that repulses him.
He unpins a drawing he had hung up of Will the Wise and Tayr. He chokes back sobs, barely able to breath. With no hesitation he tears the paper right down the middle.
He continues, drawing after drawing, as if they meant nothing to him when really, they meant the world. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” he picks up a picture of him and Mike from last Halloween, his favorite picture of them all. He wants to rip it apart. But he can't.
The way Mike is standing with his arms around Will, laughing. He can hear it even now, ringing in his ears as if Mike were standing behind him once again.
“Will?” Mike pounds on the Byers’ front door, “Will please, come out, I need to talk to you!” He shouts into the door hoping his voice is louder than the heavy drops of rain. He’s this close to breaking the door down when he hears a faint yell from the woods. “Will? Is…Is that you?!” Mike shouts back, not expecting a response. What if it’s Will? His eyes widen, He could be in trouble; he could be hurt. The simple thought of that makes Mike run—not caring for the dangers of slipping and falling—towards the commotion. "Please..."
The small miserable boy had made his way outside his fortress made of wood with the photo that caused him to reminisce of better times in his pocket. Times when Mike cared about him. A baseball bat made it out with him, he holds it the way Lonnie had forced him to learn how to. He stands there for a bit, in a lazy ready position, rethinking his decision. He squints up, Castle Byers, reads the plank of wood at the top of the construction. Jonathon would be disappointed. They built this place in the rain and here Will was, about to destroy it just like that. Because of some stupid boy. A boy that made Will feel like he wasn't a freak, a boy that he promised he'd go crazy with.
The boy whose fault it is that Will doesn't like girls.
He stands up straighter, tightening his grip on the handle of the bat. Just do it, His thoughts overtake him, do it, you don't deserve anything good. Will's eyes squeeze shut, his logic being if he can't see what he's doing it'll make it easier to do. "Will!" He hears from afar, "Will what are you doing?!" Will whips his head around to face the source only to find,
"Mike," He stammers. The wave of rage pulls off him and his scratched-up legs wobble like jelly. "Go away Mike!" Will shouts this time, if Mike even comes near him, Will is afraid he'll explode. "Go back home!" His voice cracks.
Mike ignores him, and instead runs faster, panting like a dog, there's no way in hell he's leaving Will again. They'd said they'd go crazy together after all. He can see the agony in Will's face clearer as he approaches him, and it hits him like a truck. He remembers again what he had said to Will to start this whole thing, how Will gets bullied for it already. He'll never forgive me.
"Will I-" He starts only to be cut off.
"Save it Mike, I don't care about what you have to say anymore. Go back to El or whoever, just leave me alone," Despite the snappiness of his words, Will throws his bat aside and takes a step back, feeling vulnerable. Mike takes a step forward,
"Will please just listen to what I have to say," He pleads. Will picks at his fingers but stays quiet, Mike takes that as a sign to go on. "I'm sorry, I swear, I just..." Mike shakes his head at what he almost says. He doesn't feel the same way, especially not now. "I shouldn't have said... you know... what I said. I didn't mean it, I want you to know that." Mike slowly takes another step forward and Will stays in place, observing Mike's every move. Still, he can't bring himself to look Mike in the eye. He feels like he's deceiving him by not confirming the truth of what Mike had said. He feels like a liar. "Will..." Mike tries to touch Will's shoulder.
The sight of Will crying because of him makes Mike hate himself more. Will swats Mike's hand away, his face contorts in disgust. Not for Mike, but for himself.
"You just... You don't get it, Mike," Will tries to blink away the tears, finally meeting Mike's gaze.
"What don't I get, Will?" Mike asks gently. Will feels bad, he can't help himself. He's burdening his friend with his feelings and for what? Because he's in love with him? It's stupid. "Will c'mon man," Mike tries again, "We've been best friends for so long now, I'll understand whatever it is."
"No! You won't, Mike," Will bursts out, "You've never understood, and you never will. You'll never know how it feels to... to be like this." He gestures to himself,
"What is that supposed to mean Will?" Mike feels his heart sink a little from being on the receiving end of Will's yelling again. He doesn't see anything wrong with Will. When Mike looks at him all he sees is his best friend who has pretty eyes, ones that change color depending on the light. His best friend with the mole above his lip which confirms just how cute he is. His best friend that he's liked since who knows when.
"How it feels knowing everyone else is fucking right, Mike! That's what it means. Dad, Troy, even you, you're all right! I'm a queer, a fag, is that what you want to hear?!" Will's glassy eyes drills holes into Mike's stunned face. Suddenly, Will is conscious of every drop hitting his skin.
"No I- I didn't know, Will..." Mike would've been happy at the fact that he might just have a chance with Will if they weren't mid-argument.
"Yeah," Will chuckles dryly, "no kidding." No, wait, Mike panics. "You should get home Mike, you'll catch a cold out here," Will steps back, rubbing his arms before walking away.
"Wait!" Mike grabs Will's shoulder and swivels him back around.
"What, Mike?" Will sighs defeatedly, "I really don't think there's anything else left to say." Mike's hand feels warm against his freezing body.
"There is," Mike leans in close, glancing down at Will's lips, his grip only getting stronger, "I'm sorry, I really am. I... I don't know why I said it," Mike looks down at his feet, clenching his jaw, now or never, "Or... I think I do. No," He looks back up, "for once, I know why,"
Both of Will's shoulders were being held by Mike and he'd surprisingly stopped trembling. Something he didn't know he was doing in the first place. Will looks up at Mike with his eyebrows so furrowed they look like they're attached to his eyes. Mike wastes no time, "Because I do understand. Way better than you think. And... And I was scared. Am scared." Mike's swipes a strand of Will's hair that seemed to be going into his eyes, flushing when he realizes how casually he had done it. The action hadn't gone past Will, and Mike knew that from just looking at his red face.
This all seemed like a dream to the boy, but Mike's tenderness, the softness of his, had proven him otherwise.
"Scared of what you'd think, everyone else too," Mike's eyes seem to sparkle despite the storm clouds blocking out the sun, "Y'know, cause, we'd get bullied even more." Will's eyes widen.
"We?" He asks, his heart beating faster than any day he'd been stuck in the Upside Down. Mike gulps, a rather loud gulp as well, he's thankful for the rain covering up the sound. He'd forgotten about the rain altogether actually; he was too caught up in saying the right words for the first time in a while.
"Yeah... we," Mike replies softly, looking down at Will's lips once again. His breath smelt minty due to the gum he popped into his mouth before leaving his house. A little part of him had hoped their dispute would end like how he imagined. Mike's hands find their way up to Will's cheeks, cupping them lightly. Pulling away doesn't cross either of their minds.
Will takes a deep breath and does what he always dreamt of doing. If his eyes weren't closed, he'd have seen Mike smiling like an idiot, slouching a bit to meet Will's face. Mike's heart flutters in a way that's new to him, it's barely a surprise though, Will feels no less, he would've fallen to his knees if Mike hadn't been there for him to lean on. The boys pull apart reluctantly, simply wanting to see the other's face.
Will can't hide his crimson face when he plays back what had just gone down. And Mike covers his face with his hand, failing at hiding his own flaming red expression. When they regain their composures—which sure as hell took a while—they embrace. Will melts when feeling Mike's rapid heartbeat thud against him, he can't talk however, his own muscle was pumping twice as hard. Mike messes with Will's hair, running his fingers through it a bit. "I'm sorry," He croaks, "For how I've been to you all this time, I'm so sorry. No matter how many times I say it I swear I'll mean it. I thought you'd hate me if I told you the truth, so I just... Pushed you away." No one understood Mike's words better than Will and Mike knew that from the way he tugged at Will's striped shirt.
"I could never hate you, Mike. I did the same thing to you and I'm-"
"No, don't say it, you shouldn't be sorry, Will, you didn't do anything wrong."
Will feels Mike's arms wrap even tighter around him, slightly making it hard to breathe. Mike knew very well what he was doing, Will would try to place the blame on himself again and he couldn't stand that.
"I like you, Mike," Will finally confesses, that was something he’d been holding in for longer than Mike would ever know, "A lot." His words muffle due to the fact that he's shoving his face into Mike's shoulder. A part of him feels the need to hide.
"I... I like you more than you could ever imagine," Mike whispers, he clears his throat after he figures he'd said that quicker than he meant to. Will burns from his cheeks to his ears. They break apart and their hands meet, fitting together like a lock and key. Their hands were opposites really, Mike's were soft and agile while Will's were rough and a bit dirty from the mud. The boys stare at each other. Not a hard stare, or a "what the fuck are we doing" stare. It's a rather satisfied stare.
And it's fitting of course, since now they both have the one thing they’ve always wanted. Each other.