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Bible glances over to his side. His eyes fall on the bundled-up figure on the passenger seat. The person looks beautiful with his eyelashes laying against his cheeks and face devoid of any crease. Build looks peaceful.
The past few weeks haven’t been easy for Build. On numerous nights, Bible would see him curled up in the corner of his bed and crying. During the ten days group-stay before the concert, they shared a room. He would hear Build wake up in the middle of the night. Sometimes he’d hear him go to the bathroom. It broke Bible’s heart every single time he’d hear the sound of a choked sob echo through the night. Sometimes he’d let Build be alone, have his space. But on most nights, Bible would hold him tight as Build would break into endless cries in his arms. He wished he could kiss his tears goodbye.
In the morning, Build would be back to being smiley. He’d busy himself with practice, he’s spent every free hour in the gym. But Bible would notice it all—how Build would look at his reflection for a long minute in the mirror with hardened eyes, how he would sometimes skip meals and disappear from the practice room with the excuse of the washroom. Bible had noticed it all and it pained him.
It still pains him to think about it.
He knows the past can be a cruel thing, but he also knows that the Build he knows now is not the same person as he was seven or eight years back. Hell, even he is not the same person as he was seven years back. Isn’t that the whole point of time? To change with it.
It has been two weeks since the concert ended. Two weeks since Build had finally come to terms with himself—finally begin to accept himself, forgive himself. Build doesn’t distance himself from Bible anymore. It had made him the happiest when Build let it all go on the stage. He smiled as he smiled on the day when he confessed to Bible. Wide and Bright. His eyes sparkled like when Bible gifted him the handmade bracelet—the first present ever since they got together. Like the ocean of stars resided in his eyes. It reminded Bible of the summer and the promises they made then.
I’ll take you to the best place in Chaing Mai, Bible had said right after one of their interviews ended. You’ll love it.
The car jerks over a bump, snatching Bible’s attention back on the road. He swerves his way around another hole in the road. He hears a groan from his side.
“Sorry,” Bible says, “I got distracted.” Bible casually throws a quick glance at his side to check on Build. His heart skips a beat when he sees Build rubbing his eyes by the back of his hand like a baby. He brings his attention back to the road. “You can go back to sleep. There’s still some time left.”
Build makes a little sound—a mumbling sleepy noise, one that he makes almost every time somebody tries to wake him up. Bible finds it absolutely endearing.
Build adjusts in his seat, still comfortable but more awake. “It’s almost five,” Build mumbles in his sleepy voice. “You’ve been driving for a long time. Let’s swap.”
“It’s fine. I don’t mind,” Bible assures. “Plus, you don’t know where we’re going.”
“That’s only because you wouldn’t tell me,” By the end, his words turn into a yawn.
“If I told you, that wouldn’t be a surprise.” Bible smiles at him. He wishes he could stop the car and plant a kiss on Build’s scrunch up nose.
Build’s face scrunch up and lips turn into a pout, letting Bible know that he is not pleased. But soon that turns into adoration. He is rolled to his side, observing Bible through his sleep-heavy, half-lidded eyes. Perfect , Build thinks. He observes Bible’s concentrated eyes, the way his round spectacles fall low on his nose bridge, and then on his rosy lips which Bible flicks his tongue over.
Build finds himself biting his own lips. Everything about Bible drives him crazy. The good kind. It makes him feel giddy like a little boy who had just made eye contact with his crush for the first time. It makes him silly in a way that every time he lays down on his bed, looking up at the ceiling, he finds himself recalling the moments that he had spent with Bible.
He feels so full of love and it doesn’t feel heavy. It feels liberating. It feels freeing.
Build reaches over to the centre console and plants his hand very lightly over Bible’s hand. He squeezes once and brushes his index finger against the ring on Bible’s finger. Build has a similar ring to that one. Bible had made it for them. Build finds his finger trail the length of arms—smoothly brushing over the visible lines of veins.
Build thinks Bible has the most beautiful hands in the world and some might even call him insane or kinky, but the way Bible’s hand move when he is sharpening knives or making those little DIYs, it makes Build want to run to the end of the cliff and scream. It makes him lose his mind. Yeah definitely, kinky.
“Should we make a stop here?” Build says, knowing very well that there’d be no place to make any stop here. It has the greens on both sides ever since he woke up. Long trees trailed alongside the wide empty deserted road. Rarely, he’d notice a vehicle pass through them.
“Are you feeling sick?” Bible asks, in his usual soft voice, briefly looking at Build.
Build shakes his head. “I want you to take a break.”
The sun is still up although the sky has started to turn in hues of red and orange, nearing sunset. Build wants Bible to take a short rest before continuing again. He doesn’t think it’d be safe to stop when the sun has set, under the dark sky. He doesn’t know how long it’ll take.
Bible nods, checking in the side view mirror as he pulls up on the side of the road. He picks up the handbrake and rolls on his seat to face Build. Bible’s lips pull up into a smile. Build mirrors it.
Bible reaches for Build’s hand. Casually taking his hands and interlocking their fingers. For a long second, they just stare. Bible leans his head further, like a pull too mesmerizing.
“Do you know just how breathtaking you are?” Bible voice out his thought, probably sounding like a goner but he doesn’t care. He wants Build to know.
Build smiles shyly, eyes looking away and then back at Bible. “I do,” he starts, suppressing a smile, “because my boyfriend keeps reminding me that.”
Boyfriend. If anybody would ask Bible, he'd tell them Boyfriend is his new favourite word. He loves the way that word falls over Build's tongue—like it belongs there.
“Say that again,” Bible says, catching his heart in his throat.
“Say what again?” Build asks, feigning innocence.
“The word.”
“I'm breathtaking?” Build replies, biting back a smile.
Bible chuckles and shakes his head. “You are such a tease, Biu.”
Build's face break into a big wide beautiful smile. “Only because my boyfriend loves to spoil me.” Oh, dear.
Bible knows they're in the middle of the wild, he knows it'd be hard to drive when it'll get darker but he could care less about those things. Especially when Build is looking at him with those dazed eyes, with a dimple cornered on the side of his faint little smile. God, he loves this man. He takes a double take at his thought, almost not realising the weight of words it held the first time.
He unlocks his seatbelt, leans closer, and gently presses his palm against Build's cheek. The longer they look at each other, the slower the time feels. Build leans forward and presses a lingering kiss on his lips. Bible lets out a low noise when he draws back. He pulls Build’s face back, pressing their lips together again. Their lips slowly begin to move against each other.
Build could hear the pounding of his heart. Their breath mix together as the need to get closer turns into urgency. Bible holds his face between his hands, thumb stroking along the side of the jaw. Soft tickle of breath under their noses. With a light touch on his chin, Build opens his mouth, letting out a little whine as Bible deepens the kiss.
Build curls his fingers in Bible’s soft hair pulling him closer, wanting more. He could inhale the faint cologne that has almost worn off. He could feel the weight of his tongue against his as they moved in a rhythm of their heart, unknown to the rest of the world. Bible is losing his mind. He doesn’t pull away even when he feels himself running out of breath. The fluttering in his stomach is taken over by the heat. He feels hot against Build’s lips. Build feels dizzy, his eyes shut as he tries to stay in control knowing very well they can’t start here.
They don’t realise who pulls away first. Their breaths are fast and shallow. Head up in the clouds, dazed. Forehead pressed together, hands holding each other's face.
“You know,” Build slowly says, breathless. “This is not what I meant when I said you should take a break,” he teases.
“Yeah?” Bible pulls back a little to see Build’s face. “Did you mean this then?” Bible tugs on the bottom of his own shirt to pull it over.
Build holds his hands to stop him. “You’re crazy,” Build laughs as he speaks. Bible can't help but laugh with him.
At that moment, Bible is awestruck. He couldn’t look away. His heart is thumping loudly against his chest and he feels like he has never been happier. He is indeed going crazy and he doesn't mind it one bit.
“I think that’s enough break for me,” Bible finally says, putting his hands back on the steering wheel. The car roars to life. Bible reaches out to interlock their fingers together, brings their hand closer to his face and presses a kiss against the back of Build’s hand.
Build is smiling. He is happy. They are together. They have the whole world ahead of them. Bible can’t wait to explore it all with Build. His Build.
With Build, he wants to keep making promises. With Build, he wants to spend every summer. With Build, he could be anywhere. With Build, it would all make sense.
“Hey, Bible.”
“Yeah?”
“I love you.”
With Build, he wants to keep falling in love over and over again.