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Recovery will not come easily.
Forgiveness will not come easily either, Sunny knows. He does not forgive himself, doubts if he ever truly will, doesn't know if his friends ever will either, but the confession had lightened the weight upon his shoulders anyway. Revealing the secret he had held beneath his tongue and hid in the deepest recesses of his mind in an attempt to not only conceal it from his friends, but also himself, was not as arduous as he expected it to be.
That didn't mean it wasn't difficult. Sunny had clenched his fingers, ignored the ache his chest, and let the tears welling up in his functioning eye flow down his face as he unveiled the truth he had suppressed inside himself and denied all these years. Sunny remembers looking at their faces during it all, seeing the multitude of devastation, horror, and disbelief appear on them, and could offer no placations other than his own remorse.
It had not been enough. He did not think it would be.
Sunny remembers looking at Basil's face, too. They had done a lot of damage to each other, during their hysteria, and the bandages strewn across their bodies, along with the assortment of cuts and bruises were testament to that; but Sunny remembers how Basil had smiled anyway, and although it was thin and weak, it was enough for him to smile back.
It was enough for him to endure the consequences of the revelation, of Aubrey's distraught anger, of Hero's incredulous disgust, of Kel's stunned disbelief. It was all too much, but it was necessary, and as harsh as the guilt that had gnawed at his insides had been, the relief that had come after was its own sense of freedom.
Aubrey had stormed off, her face anguished and blotchy from crying. Hero followed after her a few moments later, expression inscrutable and seeming as if he needed to be anywhere other than there, and Kel left, too, lost and forlorn, trying to grasp the reality after having lived with the lie for so long.
Sunny opens his eye, takes a deep breath, and calms down.
Basil looks up at him as he approaches, eyes red from tears, and exuding a weariness that suggests it has been a long time since he's had any meaningful rest to assuage it. Sunny's heart aches when he looks at him and notices just how hard the years have taken their toll, of how agonizing the weight of it all had been to bear alone. He knows he reflects the same.
Basil's eyes drift across his face and when they land on the bandages wrapped around his eye, his expression falls even more, devastation writ across his delicate features. Bright blue eyes, already misty from previous tears, well up again as Basil's shoulders heave weakly, and he begins to cry.
"S-sunny I'm sorry! I-I..." Basil's words trail off as his breath hitches, lips pursing in a mournful frown as he tries to choke the words out. "I didn't mean to h-hurt you...I'm so sorry."
Forgiveness does not come easily.
Sunny knows this, but he also knows he holds no animosity towards his friend, not for this, atleast. There were a lot more worse things to feel than physical pain, and much harsher things to endure than losing an eye. Sunny is almost thankful that an injury, no matter how egregious it had been, was the extent of what he had to sacrifice for the both of them to make it out alive.
So there's no uncertainty about it when Sunny interrupts Basil's furtive apologies to pull him into his arms instead, hugging him close and silencing the apologies falling from his lips.
Basil stiffens at first, muscles tensing from the unexpected embrace, before melting into it all at once, tenderly bringing his own hands up to intertwine around his back, returning the gesture.
Sunny closes his eye and breathes in deeply, savouring the comfort. It feels a lot like coming home, of finally being able to rest after a long day, knowing it's going to be over with soon. The slight, floral scent that always seems to permeate from the other boy's skin overwhelms his senses and the ensuing warmth that spreads throughout him is wistfully melancholic; it has been a long time since they were this close, since he's been able to endure a presence outside of the chimerical ones conjured from his own mind.
"It's alright," he finally says after awhile, quietly, but sincere all the same. "I know all you wanted was for it to be over."
Basil sniffles, tears soaking through Sunny's clothing from where his face is burrowed into his shoulder, and he shakes his head like he might argue, but ultimately stays silent in the end as he allows himself to be held.
A couple of moments pass by in peaceful silence before Sunny rearranges himself to lay on the hospital bed, fatigue beginning to return the longer he continues to stand on his feet and aggregate his wounds. Basil holds onto him all the while, refusing to let go and loosen his grip, repositioning himself so he can nestle more comfortably against his friend's side instead.
"Do you..." Basil starts, but his words trail off before he can finish. Sunny can hear him inhale nervously from where they're pressed so close together. He grasps his friend's hand and interlaces their fingers in response, gently encouraging him to continue. Basil curls into him further and lays his head on his shoulder before he makes another attempt at voicing what he wants to say. "Do you think they'll forgive us?"
Sunny closes his eye, sighs deeply, and ponders the weighted question. He knows that the secret had not been a kind revelation, that forgiveness does not come easily, that the truth may have been just a little too much for their already strained friend group to handle. He also knows that these things take time, that recovery doesn't occur in one day, and that sometimes life moves on without ever really offering closure.
Sunny squeezes the other boy's hand. He doesn't know if their friends will ever forgive them, now or in a few years time, but he does know that he and Basil will always have each other. He will not leave him again.
"I don't know," he admits. "It's going to be awhile before they talk to us, I think. But whatever happens, we'll stay friends. I promise."
And when Basil smiles at that, eyes shining warmly, he knows that it'll remain true.
Sunny isn't discharged from the hospital until a few days later. There had been the loss of an eye, yes, but the medical staff had also wanted to delay his release to make sure he was thoroughly ready to be on his own, telling him that the physical toll taken on his body from years of malnutrition and neglect had also weakened him quite significantly.
It's also why the move had been delayed by a couple days as well. His mother had been frantic in her concern, and despite nothing being her fault, he knows she feels guilty anyway. The injury had only strengthened her resolve to relocate them somewhere else, saying it was better to leave it all behind for now.
So Sunny concludes his recovery at home, and while there wasn't much to be done during his convalescence, he was still hesitant to sleep through it all like he had before.
The dissolution of his headspace had been both pleasant and painful, a bittersweet saudade for a fantasy that had made everything a little more bearable to cope with, even if it had all been a lie. Sunny doubts he will ever stop wanting to return, not completely, but remains hopeful that the desire will diminish come enough time.
When the day of moving away finally arrives, for certain this time, Sunny visits Basil before he leaves. He looks just the same as he had before, still tired, but looking less eneverated than he had at the hospital. Basil's eyes widen when he sees him, like he hadn't expected him to come visit one last time, but he smiles all the same.
And when they say their goodbyes, prolonged and maybe a little tearful, Sunny reiterates the promise from before, adamanent and sincere, making sure Basil knows he means it. Basil smiles again afterwards, sadly, but now a little hopeful, too and it all begins to feel less like a farewell, and more of a see you soon.
Life goes on slowly for a while.
He moves into a new home, enrolls into a new school, and is surrounded by new people. It's all so unfamiliar, and he doesn't know if he will ever get accustomed to it or if he will continue to long for faraway town, but he knows that the distance will be good for everyone, including him. He starts to attend therapy, and that's a whole other process that is completely foriegn to him, but it feels better speaking with someone who wasn't impacted by what he's done, even if he hasn't told them everything yet.
He and Basil still keep in touch just like they promised, and he knows that Basil is also seeking therapy for their past, and is recovering in his own way. Their messages had been tentative at first, with neither knowing what to say to each other after everything that had happened, but that, too, had eased as the months passed by. They've always been the closest, and while tragedy had strained their friendship severely, Sunny doesn't think there's anything that could have truly destroyed it indefinitely.
There are good days and bad days. On good days, he wakes up early and helps his mom prepare breakfast, goes to school and makes it through the day without dosing off or daydreaming through it, and goes home to play on the computer for the rest of the night. On bad days, he lays in bed for duration of the day not spent in school and dreams of happier things to avoid the crushing weight of grief and guilt, even if it's not the same space he used to return to before in order escape. But those days happen less and less over the years.
It's all progress, his therapist tells him, so Sunny takes it for the good sign it is.
It's just before Sunny's seventeenth when he receives a message from his friends, and it has his heart beating erratically. It was a simple text from Kel, but it had still taken him a few days to garner the courage needed to reply. His fingers were shaking after it'd been sent, but it was worth it to see him respond back, a little hesitant, but just as enthusiastic as Sunny remembered him to be. Sunny couldn't help but smile, it's a pleasant thought, to know that Kel hadn't given up on him, not once during those four years he spent in solitude, and not even now, after everything.
And It's just after Sunny's eighteenth birthday does he finally succeed in asking his mother for permission to travel to faraway town, though he could technically visit there on his own now. His mother is worried the memories will be detrimental to him, especially when he's just started getting better, but he can tell she's not too upset at returning for a visit after two years, he supposes she can see how much it'll mean for him to go back.
And it does mean a lot.
He wants to see his friends again, even if not all of them want to talk to him yet, and he wants to visit Mari, too. He will never stop missing her, but each day the grief feels a little less restricting, a little more tolerable to bear, even if it will never completely go away. He feels ready to see her now.
He feels ready to return.
It's a peaceful morning.
The sun is shining, the sky is a light, cloudless blue, the birds are trilling a harmonious melody high up in the treetops, and Basil is weaving small, colorful flowers into his hair from where he's laying next to him.
Sunny breathes in deeply, lets the sunshine warm his face, and allows himself to finally feel at peace after an eternity spent in anguish.
Basil arranges the last flower into his hair like he was embroidering the most extravagant stitch into it, and leans back when finishes, pleased. His cheeks are flushed pink from the summer heat, and his skin is tanned from long days spent toiling in the garden. But most of all, he looks happy, like there's no other place he'd rather be. Basil smiles when he catches him staring, bright and lively, the way he remembers it always used to be. The way he hopes it will always remain.
"W-what's wrong? Why are you staring?" Basil asks after he still doesn't look away, perhaps a little embarrassed, but his lips are still curled upwards so he can't be too upset.
Sunny doesn't respond, choosing to sit up and move closer to his best friend, laying his head on his stomach once he's close enough, carefully minding the flowers. Basil squeaks slightly in surprise, undeniably flustered, but he doesn't push him away and instead curls closer around him, laying a hand in his hair and gently playing with it. Sunny can hear his heart beating faintly, a slow, steady rhythm that could lull him to sleep if he let it.
"What do you want to do tomorrow?" Basil inquires, after a moment passes by in comfortable silence.
Sunny hums absentmindedly, preoccupied with the comforting touch. "Prepare to go home, I suppose. Summer's ending soon."
Basil's hand stills. "Oh, y-you're leaving."
Basil stutters on the words, and Sunny can feel how he stiffens at the reply. Sunny doesn't like how his voice has shifted from it's light, pleasant cadence into a more distant one, as if he's trying to hold back his dismay.
"No," Sunny disagrees. Basil furrows his eyebrows in confusion at the remark, displeased frown shifting into a more bewildered one.
"B-but you..."
"No, I'm not leaving you," Sunny refutes, firmly. "Basil..I'm, well, I'm asking you to come with me. If you want to."
"O-oh..." He breathes, eyes wide. He looks a bit dazed at first, as if he doesn't quite comprehend what Sunny's asking, but then his expression clears and he begins to grin radiantly, positively beeming. He looks breathtaking, then, illuminated by the sun's rays and expression glowing with happiness.
"Y-yeah...okay," Basil agrees, soft and shy, but sure. "I-I'll come with you."
Sunny can't help but grin back, wholeheartedly elated. He has the sudden, irresistible urge to kiss his friend on the cheek, to feel the warmth of his skin under his lips and hold him close.
So that's what he does.
Basil gives a startled squeal as he's suddenly hugged, but then giggles uncontrollably when Sunny starts to press quick, fleeting kisses along his face. Basil winds his arms lovingly over his neck as he's kissed, cheeks flushed a pretty, rosy red, laughing all the while.
And for the first time in what seems to have been a long eternity, Sunny feels completely and entirely happy, as if things truly will be alright one day. It was a wonderful thing to start and look forward to.