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Lan Zhan swore he felt his heart stop, mind screeching to an abrupt halt, as he stared at his phone. He blinked. And then he blinked again, but the words in the text thread didn’t change. He clicked on the contact, expecting some sort of sign to indicate that this was a prank, but nothing was out of the ordinary.
Nothing was out of the ordinary except for the text staring back at him.
He locked his phone.
Lan Zhan took a moment to walk towards his couch, sit down, and take a deep breath, recentering himself before once more unlocking his phone and opening his text thread with Wei Ying. Still, the message did not change. ‘Wanna fuck?’
His heart started racing. Wei Ying wasn’t one to play pranks on Lan Zhan, at least… he wasn’t one to play pranks on Lan Zhan anymore . Not since they were 14 and Wei Ying thought it would be funny to pull Lan Zhan’s sacred Lan bracelet off his wrist; which lead to Lan Zhan almost punching him straight in his cute chubby-cheeked face.
No, current Wei Ying wouldn’t joke about this. Which can only mean one thing, Wei Ying wants to have sex with him. Lan Zhan’s heart skipped a beat at the thought, but he wasted no further time, simply replying back with a “Yes.”
He waited anxiously for any response from Wei Ying, anything to let him know what he’s to do, but there was nothing. He felt nervous. And shy. What if he texted Wei Ying for clarification and it made him change his mind? What if it was truly a mistake and now Wei Ying didn’t know how to let him down easily? What if Wei Ying had meant to send that out to someone else?
He took a deep breath before standing back up from the couch, leaving his phone on the coffee table in front of him. Waiting around wasn’t going to do anything to calm his racing heart and anxious mind. The fact that waiting around for not even 5 minutes has caused him to think that Wei Ying would purposely hurt him was enough proof of that. Lan Wangji knew better than almost anyone that Wei Ying would never be purposefully vicious to him, of course Wei Ying wouldn’t change his mind. And if he truly did accidentally send the message to Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan was sure Wei Ying would find a way to let Lan Zhan down easily while still maintaining their friendship.
Calming himself a bit, Lan Zhan resumed the tasks he was doing before Wei Ying texted him. He flitted around his cottage doing everything from sweeping the floors to rearranging the way he organized his books in his study, all in an effort to distract himself from his phone and the lack of notifications he has gotten since he replied to Wei Ying’s question.
As it got later in the day, Lan Zhan decided his next best course of action was to shower. He was beginning to get a bit fidgety, which was uncommon for him. He was also sweaty from all the random labor he forced himself to do around the house. A shower is just what he needed to relax and loosen his muscles as well as, hopefully, his mind. Still, just in case, he took his phone into the bathroom with him, justifying it by thinking that it should be close by in case of an emergency.
Half way into his shower, his phone binged, informing him of a notification. Lan Zhan told himself to relax and wait until after his shower, yet he found himself speeding up his showering process, finishing faster than usual. He forced himself to dry his body and get into lounge wear before finally picking up his phone, only to feel his heart stop once more as he read Wei Ying’s message ‘heading over now. Can I spend the night?’
His mind began racing. So Wei Ying really did want to have sex with him. He didn’t change his mind. He didn’t accidentally send the text to Lan Zhan instead of some other person. He just decided he wanted to have sex with Lan Zhan today. Lan Zhan sent back a simple ‘Of course.’ before resuming his thoughts.
Why did he decide to have sex with Lan Zhan? And would this only be physical? Would Wei Ying want a romantic relationship out of this as well? Would this be a friends-with-benefits type of situation? Or was it a one time thing?
And why was Lan Zhan thinking about all of this only now. When it was too late. When he had to get ready for Wei Ying coming over. If Wei Ying is coming over to have sex then Lan Zhan needs to make himself look as appetizing as possible so that Wei Ying stays. SO that Wei Ying doesn’t decide to make this a one time thing.
Lan’s don’t run, but there is no rule about speed walking. And Lan Zhan can speedwalk extremely fast from his bathroom to his bedroom. He immediately goes to his closet, grabbing the clothes that make Wei Ying notice him; the clothes that make Wei Ying stare; the clothes that Lan Zhan doesn't wear often because while he likes the attention Wei Ying gives him when he wears them, the attention leaves him hot and bothered unable to do anything about it except wait until he's back in his bedroom alone with his thoughts of Wei Ying and the looks Wei Ying gave him.
He squeezes into his tight pants that make his butt look good, and then quickly buttons up his light blue shirt, putting in the years of buttoning up shirts to good use. He grabs his blow dryer and begins the tedious task of blow drying his hair, not wanting to act rash and cause his hair to get more damaged than necessary.
As he’s finishing up his hair, he hears a knock at his door. It’s Wei Ying. It has to be.
He wasn’t able to get himself as prepared as he’d like to, but hopefully this is enough. He heads towards his front door and puts his hand on the handle, taking a deep breath before opening the door and-
Wait.
Wait.
Why is… why is Wei Ying holding a duck?
“Wei Ying…”
What’s going on? Is he seeing this right? Is he dreaming becau-
Oh. Oh no.
Suddenly a memory of two months ago pops up in his head. He remembers how he and Wei Ying had been in his living room, Lan Zhan sitting on the living room floor practicing a new piece on his guqin, and Wei Ying sprawled out on his couch texting Nie Huisnag about something. Wei Ying had groaned so loudly Lan Zhan couldn’t help but look up and give a questioning gaze. Wei Ying had frowned that cute frown of his before saying, “It’s nothing Lan Zhan. It’s just Huisang teasing me.”
Lan Zhan slightly raised an eyebrow at that. “Teasing Wei Ying about what?”
Wei Ying pouted. “The usual Lan Zhan. Every time I text I type so fast and make spelling mistakes everywhere. I send my messages before even noticing! It doesn't help that every time I curse through text my phone autocorrects it to something else. I cleary want to say ‘fuck’ so why does my phone insist that I want to say ‘duck’?! It’s so annoying and takes the edge off my words, you know? And then Huaisang laughs at me like the bully he is.”
“Wei Ying should text slower.”
Wei Ying glares at him, “That’s not the problem. It's this phone! Even if I text slower it will still cause me the embarrassment from changing my curse words into something unrelated. It ruins my reputation Lan Zhan! It’s like I'm censoring myself!”
Wei Ying dramatically sighs while Lan Zhan gives him a flat stare. Suddenly Wei Ying sits up, eyes wide and sparkling. “That’s it er-gege! I got it! I know the solution!!”
“What will Wei Ying do?”
“I’m going into my settings to change my autocorrect! This way every time I type ‘fuck’ it will stay fuck, and every time I type ‘duck’ on accident it will autocorrect to fuck!”
“... And if Wei Ying wishes to talk about a duck?”
Wei Ying scoffed, “You're funny Lan Zhan! When will I ever need to talk about a duck? I never see ducks out-and-about, and I rarely eat them. Plus, if I ever need to talk about a duck for some reason, I could simply use the duck emoji. ‘Fuck’ doesn't have an emoji, so this way makes more sense!”
Lan Zhan fought the urge to roll his eyes endearingly at the fool his heart chose to love. “Mm.”
Wei Ying glanced up, giving Lan Zhan a blinding smile before looking back down and sending a quick text to Huaisang. “There! I even tested it already! It works! Isn’t your Wei Ying so smart?” Wei Ying said while getting off the couch and sitting next to Lan Zhan.
“Lan Zhan, will you play that one song for me? The one that doesn't have a name?” Wei Ying said while pouting once more, and just like that, the conversation was forgotten.
The conversation was forgotten until today, when Lan Zhan stared at the duck in Wei Ying’s hand. Because of course Wei Ying probably sent the text without checking the spelling, and autocorrect sent out a text with an entirely different meaning than what Wei Ying meant. Because now it was obvious that Wei Ying didn’t mean ‘wanna fuck?’, he probably meant something along the lines of ‘want a duck?’ but the meaning got lost in all the spelling errors and autocorrect.
And now, Lan Zhan was feeling embarrassed. In fact, he was feeling more than embarrassed, he was feeling mortified. Here he been, spending the whole day thinking that Wei Ying had randomly decided to proposition him for sex in the middle of the day, but that hadn't been it. He had misunderstood everything so completely. He got ready for nothing. He got his hopes up for nothing. At this point even a one-time fling would have been better than what he was feeling.
He forced himself to remain calm and keep his expression as impassive as possible all the while blinking quickly to get rid of the sting in his eyes and hoping Wei Ying didn’t notice his bright red ears.
Lan Zhan could do nothing but watch as Wei Ying confusedly unlocked his phone and opened their message thread to read their text exchange from earlier in the day. He watched as Wei Ying’s eyes widened as he read and reread their texts. Lan Zhan forced himself to stay rooted to the spot, his grip on the door tight, instead of running off to his bedroom in shame and embarrassment.
As Wei Ying’s face began turning a deep red, Lan Zhan couldn’t help but want to give him an out, even at the cost of his own embarrassment. He cleared his throat to get Wei Ying’s attention, and decided not to focus on the sting he felt in his heart when Wei Ying chose to not look him straight in the eyes.
“Wei Ying. Thank you for bringing the duck.” At the statement, Wei Ying looked up, but Lan Zhan kept himself composed, not wanting to give away the heartbreak he was feeling for fear of making Wei Ying feel guilty. Wei Ying was not responsible for Lan Zhan feeling this way. Lan Zhan should not have gotten his hopes up. He should have known that Wei Ying would never want him as anything other than a friend. He should have put the pieces of Wei Ying being a bad texter and Wei Ying changing his autocorrect together. He should have known that Wei Ying meant something else. And now he was paying the price. And he was probably going to ruin their relationship any minute now.
He would not blame Wei Ying for taking this out and then never seeing Lan Zhan again afterward. Lan Zhan should ha-
“Did you really mean it when you said you wanted to have sex with me?” Wei Ying immediately slapped a hand over his mouth, but the damage was done. Lan Zhan swallowed, knowing the end of their friendship was near.
He turned away from Wei Ying, feeling this was the only way he could talk to him without his voice breaking and giving away his emotions. “This is a conversation that should be held inside.”
“Ah Lan Zhan, I actually have a couple of supplies and another duck in the car. Can we go get that first?”
Right… the duck. Well, ducks (plural) apparently.
Lan Zhan nodded and followed Wei Ying out silently. It felt a bit eerie being in Wei Ying’s presence yet feeling uneasy. It wasn't an emotion he associated with Wei Ying until now, and it hurt his heart. He knew he had to confess. He could no longer hide. He had to come clean and hope Wei Ying was still okay with them being friends. He couldn't focus on the tasks at hand, doing everything on autopilot as he began scripting out his words in his mind, not wanting to slip up and say something there was no coming back from. He couldn't go to extremes and make Wei Ying feel bad for not feeling the same way.
Eventually he found himself sitting in the living room with Wei Ying, the duck's temporary home completed though he doesn't remember helping make it. In front of him was a cup of tea that he also didn’t remember making , but knows must have been him because Wei Ying can not make the tea 100% correctly. He takes a sip of his tea, gathering his thoughts before turning to face Wei Ying, knowing he must be the one to break the silence. “I meant it”
Lan Zhan watched as Wei Ying processed his answer and began to look contemplative, as if he was asking himself a bunch of questions but didn't know where or how to start. So Lan Zhan took the lead once more and, with a fearful heart, came clean. “Wei Ying, I want no misunderstandings between us. I love you. I have loved you since we first met, though I did not know it at the time. All this time I told myself to be content with being your friend and nothing more. I am content with only being your friend, if you’ll still have me. I have lived with my feelings for years. If knowing my feelings does not make you uncomfortable, nothing has to change. We can still be friends.”
Lan forced himself to relax. This doesn’t have to change anything. I hope this doesn't change anything . But after a couple moments of silence on Wei Ying’s end, Lan Zhan began to mildly panic. Did he mess everything up? Is this truly the end of their friendship? Wei Ying hasn’t said anything since before they brought the ducks in, and it feels a bit unnerving to have him be silent this long in an uncomfortable situation.
Lan Zhan begins to fidget, losing control of his body movements. It was begging to be too much. He just wanted to go to his room and hide. He just wanted-
“I want to have sex with you.” Lan Zhan’s eyes widened as they darted to Wei Ying’s, who looks equally shocked over the words that came out of his mouth. He cleared his throat before continuing, “What I mean is, I love you too. I don't know when it started, but one day I just woke up and realized I didn't see you as just a friend. I was in love with you. And I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time. I tried ignoring my feelings. Every time someone would hint at something romantic happening between the two of us I outwardly denied it thinking it would never happen because you deserve better , but inwardly I still hoped for it selfishly. Hell, seconds before you confessed I was ready to offer up sex even if that was the only way I could have you. I don’t want to be friends. I mean- I do want to be friends. But not just friends. But not like friends with benefits okay? Because that would just- Because I want to hug you and kiss you- and dates. Would you be interested in going on dates because-” Lan Zhan watched in shock as Wei Ying closed his eyes in frustration and took a deep breath.
Lan Zhan couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had to secretly pinch his thigh to make sure that this wasn’t a dream.
Wei Ying loved him. Wei Ying loved him. Wei Ying loved him. Wei Ying loved him.
Him. Lan Zhan. Wei Ying loved Lan Zhan. And more than that, Wei Ying wanted to go on a date with Lan Zhan. Wei Ying wanted to kiss Lan Zhan. Wei Ying wanted to be with Lan Zhan.
Lan’s don't shout or make loud noises, but in this instance Lan Zhan felt so tempted to scream at the top of his lungs that Wei Ying loves him back. That his feelings aren't one-sided, and that they both want the same things.
He could feel the smile threatening to shape his lips, but he refused to give in. He had a reputation to uphold Afterall.
But then Wei Ying spoke again, “Lan Zhan, will you go out with me?” And this time, Lan Zhan can’t hold back. His heart is bursting with joy and the only way it can express itself is through the big smile now adorning his face.
He glances at Wei Ying and feels his heart jump with joy at the sight of pure love in Wei Ying’s eyes. Suddenly, he can't understand how he ever thought Wei Ying didn’t love him back, when Wei Ying was always obvious about it. All those times Wei Ying remembered Lan Zhan’s favorite brand and taste of tea even though Wei Ying himself doesn't drink any. All those times Wei Ying would cook food and lower the amount of spice he put in his dishes so that Lan Zhan could eat with him. All those times Wei Ying would remember random things Lan Zhan had said even though his memories were terrible. Wei Ying even learned how to play the dizi just so that Lan Zhan would always have a duet partner and wouldn't be alone in music class. Putting everything into perspective made it so obvious that Wei Ying loved Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan had just been too oblivious to see it. Every thoughtful action of Wei Ying’s was his way of saying ‘i love you’; From coming to take care of Lan Zhan while he was sick (which in turn made Wei Ying get sick) to randomly bringing Lan Zhan’s favorite brand of tea because ‘i noticed you were running low last time I came over’, Wei Ying had done nothing but show his love towards Lan Zhan. And now Lan Zhan could see it clearly.
“Yes Wei Ying, I’ll go out with you.” Lan Zhan says, still smiling. He doesn't think he’ll ever be able to stop at this point, especially with how beautiful Wei Ying’s own smile was. Wei Ying just looked so happy. Lan Zhan wanted to look at him forever
As if in a trance, Wei Ying reached his hand towards Lan Zhan’s face, caressing it as he whispered, “Lan Zhan, can I kiss you?”
And of course Lan Zhan responded “yes” before leaning in and closing the distance.