Chapter Text
It's been a total of two days since they had arrived back in Hawkins- four days since Vecna won. That's four days since El tried to save Max, four days since Mike told Eleven he loved her, and four days since El had enaged in a conversation with him.
Driving home was.. awkward to say the least. Argyle was high for majority of it (unsurprisingly) but Jonathan was more alert than they's seen him all Spring break. The incident put everyone in a panicked state. Eleven wouldn't talk about what happened in detail, they only know that she fought Vecna and that she and Max were in deep shit. The situation didn't seem to worry Mike though. He could only think of two things: his "love confession" that El longed for since they reunited at the airport, and of course, his best friend, Will Byers. He knows it's selfish but he just couldn't help it.
Will looked so upset ever since he gave him the painting but Mike just couldn't pinpoint why. If he and El had spent so much time making it then why was he upset. Wouldn't he want him to see it? It was confusing to poor Mike Wheeler. He always knew what was bothering Will. Ever since they became friends he felt they had a sort of connection, one that he didn't have with the rest of the party, but he didn't feel it anymore. It was like the connection had faded. He only had himself to blame of course, but he couldn't help but wonder if that was truly the case. Maybe they still have the same connection that survived their many years of friendship. I mean it can't just.. dissappear, right? Not after everything they've been through together. Or maybe it was gone and Mike just didn't want to admit it. He was just holding onto the last bit of their friendship, praying that it hasn't ended. He didn't know what the case was, but what he did know is that Will was hiding something. It was like he had put up a wall, a guard, so that not even his best friend and the person he trusted most could know what was wrong.
It hurt Mike. He wanted things to be how they used to with Will; staying up later than the rest of the party at their group sleepovers just to have those meaningful "private" moments, racing around Hawkins on their bikes together, having seperate days out from the rest of the party where it's just Mike and Will, Mike holding his best friend tightly when he had a nightmare, them both telling each other everything- there were no secrets between the two of them. If anything happened Will went to Mike first, and vice versa. Mike liked that. He liked that he and Will had a special friendship, one that he didn't have with anyone else. And when they started drifting apart, he missed him more than he ever could have imagined. Seeing Will like this- upset and closed-off, well it made his heart fracture into a million pieces. Sometimes he wishes he could just wrap his arms around him and never let go, ensuring that they never lose each other again.
Mike is now sitting on the middle of his bedrooom floor, completely suffocated in thought. He has to unpack his bags from Cali first. After he's completed that, he needs to go through all his things so he can give his Mom things for donations. Nancy, Robin, Steve, and Dustin had just left to drop off another few boxes and will probably be returning soon so he needed to hurry or else he would get the usual lecture about how unorganised he is.
The "earthquake" hit everyone pretty hard; with many badly injured and others staying in the shelter that was set up for them in Hawkins High. The other half of the population had already started fleeing this hell hole of a town, and honestly, he couldn't blame them. It's just a pity that they of all people had to stay behind and clean up the mess.
He had all his stuff from Cali spilled onto his floor before slowly looking through everything and putting them in piles. Just then, he heard a subtle knock on his bedroom door. He assumed it was just Nancy coming up to see if he's made any progress. That is until the door creaked open ever so slightly to unvail the figure standing there. Eleven.
The Byers were staying with them while in Hawkins. Joyce and El had taken the spare room upstairs while Will and Jonathan agreed to stay in the basement. Mike had offered Will to stay in his room but he declined. He said he really didn't mind sleeping down there and assured him that the spare matress he was sleeping on was more comfortable than it looks. He was lying. of course. He would much rather stay in Mikes room but thought that things were too... awkward between them for that. He wasn't wrong but sometimes Mike wishes Will had taken that offer.
"Mike? Can I please come in for a moment?" she asked, with a mild hint of nervousness in her tone, "I need to talk to you about something."
Mikes eyes widened like he'd just watched Hopper strip naked. "Y-yeah. Yeah, of course El. Come on in," he was stumbling over his words like a complete and utter idiot. This can't be good. She was ignoring him for the past four days and now she's standing behind his door wanting to talk. He quickly dropped what he was doing and sat upright on his bed, waiting for the awful news he was convinced would come his way.
El pushed open the door gently and stared at him for a moment. He patted the space on the bed beside him and she just stood there, before hesitantly making her way over to occupy the empty space beside him. There was a few moments of awkward silence. Eleven was picking the dirt from under her nails while Mike sat impatiently beside her.
"So, I was thinking about what happened the last few days," she muttered. She was speaking very quietly now, but just loud enough so that Mike could still hear her. "And I think I would like to tell you what happened.. with Max. Is that okay?"
A wave of relief washed over him as he tried to gather his composure. "Yeah, yeah you can," he says, louder than he had expected. "Have you told the others yet? Like Will or Hopper. Maybe even Joyce?"
He was trying to make eye contact with her but she kept staring at her hands before quickly glancing at his face, just to look away again. "No I haven't. I was going to tell Will but he's been acting strange lately and I don't want to pile a bunch of... infor-ma-mation on him." (It wasn't uncommon for El to stumble over her words. I mean what can you expect if she's only been in school for slightly under a year?) "And I just got Hop back. I would like to have some normal days with him instead of it all being about Henry and monsters."
"Yeah I totally understand. So do you wanna talk about it now or should we leave it until later?" Mike was happy that she chose to talk to him about it but he still didn't understand why she hasn't brought up what he said in Surfer Boys (the pizza place).
"No. Now is good." And then she told him as much as she could in as much detail possible. She told him that she feels at fault for what happened to Max. That she could have saved her but she didn't, and now she's stuck in a coma and no one knows if she'll make it out alive. How much she cares for her and that she wouldn't know what to do if she didn't wake up. She explained what Henry-- no, Venca had said. She told him how scared she was. How she wasn't sure she could save everyone this time. That she cared too much for everyone to let anything happen. And the list goes on.
By the time she had finished she was in tears. She was holding all that in for days and Mike just didn't know what to say. So he did the only thing he could and pulled her into his embrace. It didn't take long before she returned the hug, wrapping her arms around his lower torso, not even trying to stop the tears.
Mike was gently rubbing her back in circular motions before saying, "hey it's okay. What happened is not your fault. Please don't blame yourself, you can only do so much. We're a team, okay? You're not in this alone." He was trying his best to assure her that Max will be okay but she wouldn't respond. She just stayed in his arms until her tears went dry. Mike now understands that what he said to her a few days ago should be the least of his worries. Hearing El talk about this gave him a sort of reality check. He just needed to be there for her. Even if it was just as her friend.
She slowly lifted her head up and removed herself from his tight embrace. As hard as it was, she managed to choke out a muffled "thank you, Mike." And they didn't need to say anything else. Mike knew then that no matter what happened next, no matter how he feels about her or how she feels about him, he needs to be there for her. He wasn't sure if it was as a friend or a romantic partner but neither of them sounded too bad in his head.
They sat in silence for a while. Not an uncomfortable silence though. No, it was a nice sort of silence. Just knowing that they were there for one another was enough. That was until El decided to say something.
"Hey Mike?" she said, watching his eyes lift from the floor to meet hers. "Would you like me to help you go through your things?"
"Sure, yeah. Thanks El." He scrambled off the bed and returned to his previous position on the floor, staring at all the clothes sprawled out messily in front of him. El followed and sat directly across from him, lifting up the clothes and folding them into neat piles before handing them to Mike, who then sorted them into three different areas: donating, keeping and dumping.
They repeated this for a while before getting to a box of items instead of clothes. Mike dumped it onto the floor and brushed his hand over the pile, seperating everything so he could get a better look. It mainly consisted of toiletries and the occassional comic, all which was quicly sorted into the organised piles. At some point he was handed an old drawing of Wills; it was him and Mike playing in the arcade together. He remembers the memory like it was yesterday. The rest of the party went to get somn lunch at Dustins but Will had asked Mike to stay behind so that they could pay some more. He remembers the tingling in his hands and the fluttering sensation in his stomach as Will brushed his hamd against his. He didn't know what this meant but it always happened around Will. It happened so much that it scared him, so he did what he knew best and ignored it.This went into the 'keeping' pile without question. He had never ever gotten rid of one of Wills drawings and he wasn't going to start now.
The cleaning process was mostly uninterrupted until Eleven stopped what she was doing and pulled out a large rolled up piece of paper. She started to inspect it first, before carefully unravelling the painting. Mike glanced over at her and immediately let out a small grin when he realised what she was looking at. "Yeah I forgot to say earlier but thank you. You and Will really did an amazing job. How did you come up with that idea?"
El looked as confused as ever. What the fuck was he on about? She just stared at him as if he had just revealed that he was a spy from the Upside Down before blurting out "what? What do you mean?"
Now it was Mikes turn to be puzzled. "What do you mean 'what do you mean?' You literally helped Will make this. I'm not stupid, El," he says, defensively almost.
Eleven furrows her brows and takes another glance at the painting. She had never seen it before in her life. "No I did not, Mike. I told you that Will does not let people see his paintings, and he definitely would not allow me to help him make one."
"Well why did he tell me you commissioned it then? He said it was basically your idea," he explained with a tone of uncertainty in his voice. Why would Will lie to him? Especially over a painting. I mean what's wrong with it being from him and not El?
"I don't know. I told you the last time I wrote to you that he wouldn't show me what he was working on. I thought it was for a girl he liked. Do you not remember?" She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. This made him more confused than ever. I mean it’s just a painting, how is his romantic interests relevant at all? Maybe El just looked into it too much.
He remembered about that letter, of course. He mighn't remember what majority of them are about (the conversations only recently gotten memorable as her English improved, beforehand it was usually just the same reoccurring questions with an ‘i miss you’ following it) but anytime Will was brought up he always tended to have that information stored somewhere in the cluttered mess he calls his brain.
"El, what made you think it was for a girl he liked?" he asked, his neck flushed as he done so. Sometimes people just get the wrong idea, and clearly Eleven got the wrong idea. He was filled to the brim with many emotions; curiosity, confusion, and maybe a slight drop of insecurity, but that's not something Mike was willing to admit.
I mean it's not like he cares. Maybe Will was doing two paintings. One for Mike and one for this.. girl. She probably doesn't even know him the way Mike does though. He could never imagine Will with someone, refused to even. It's not like Will would be in a relationship with some random girl he just met.. right? Fuck. That's exactly what he did. He barely knew El enough before jumping headfirst into a relationship. God, she barely knew herself. That's besides the point. Will wouldn't do that. He knows Will wouldn't do that. Not now, at least. Maybe later on in the future. Yeah that's it, he's just not ready for a relationship.
She pursed her lips and shurgged her shoulders half apologetically. "Maybe you should go ask him. I mean as far as I'm aware he was only working on one painting but I guess he could have been working on one that I didn't know about," she explained. She didn't seem phased at all by the situation, which was making Mike question why it bothered him so much.
"You aren't lying, are you? Are you sure you didn't help him at all? Maybe you hinted towards it and Will took it as a sort of request?"
"Friends don't lie Mike," she says sternly. This was, for whatever reason, the main rule of the friend group. Mike had started to find it a little stupid as he grew older. He started to think things that he’d like to keep to himself, meaningless things locked up in the back of his mind. It’s not lying if they don’t ask, right?
"I know, I know," he said, dropping his gaze back to the cuffs on his shirt. That's exactly why I want to know why he lied," he muttered under his breath, this time too quiet for El to hear.
"Anyways," she continued, giving a long, weary sigh, "I'm sorry, Mike-"
Mikes eyes darted up to meet hers. He was totally and utterly confused. "What? Why are you sorry? What's wrong?" he asks, completely cutting her off. He was now back to fidgeting with the cuffs on his jacket, eager to hear what she had to say.
"Mike- I-," she closes her eyes for a few seconds, dreading what she was about to say. She can't stop now. She has to tell him how she feels. "I know this probably is not a good time but we- I care about you Mike, a lot. You know that, right?" she says, gently yet hesitantly reaching up to place her hand on his cheek. He nods. "And I only want what is best for us. For you."
"What do- I don't understand. What's that supposed to mean?" he says, panicking now. His eyes were frantically moving from El's eyes to her hand cupping the side of his face.
"I don't think we should be together," she blurted out. She removed her hand from Mikes face and placed it restlessly by her side. "I'm really sorry. It's just.. I've never been in any other relationships, you know? And we were kids, Mike. We were young and I just got out of the-" she sighs, resting both her hands on her knees before continuing. "What I'm trying to say is that I never had time to focus on myself. I don't know who I am. Who I want to be. I need to find myself before comitting to anything." Her gaze lingers on Mike. He's not looking at her, he's looking at his hands that are still pulling and twisting the cuffs of his shirt. "I love you Mike, I really do, but I'm not sure it's in a boyfriend and girlfriend way, more like how I love Lucas and Dustin. I'm really sorry. Please don't be mad at-"
"No I understand. It's fine El, really," he says, finally bringing his eyes up to meet her gaze. He didn't look angry. He didn't feel angry. He felt a sort of understanding, relief. He didn't want to break up with her of course, but he was happy to know that El felt the same way he did. He thought of this for a while but couldn't put it into words. He tried to ignore it. He focused on El majority of his visit in attempt to make him feel what he once felt when he was with her, but it was no use. She perfectly put what he was feeling into words and he couldn't have been happier. "Friends?"
She beamed at him. Clearly he still meant a lot to her and she didn't want to loose that. She nodded once, then twice. "Friends," she says. She reached over and gave him a brief hug before pulling away.
El had left about 40 minutes ago. It wasn't long but it sure was long enough for Mike to get caught up in his thoughts again. He kept trying to change the subject, to think of something different, but his mind kept wandering to what El had said.
"I thought it was for a girl he liked. Do you not remember?"
He groaned and slumped onto his bed, pulling his pillow over his face as he done so. Why was this getting him so worked up? Will was probably just painting a few things at once, nothing more, nothing less.. right? But he couldn't stop the blood rushing to his face, drowning him head to toe. This shouldn't be bothering him, and it most definitely not something he should be getting flustered over.
'Will,' he thought. 'What if he does like me? Major emphasis on the if of course. I mean that would make him what? A queer? Will was always bullied and called a fairy but I never once suspected that it could be true. No he's probably not. Why would I evenn think that?'
Not that he wouldn't support him, of course he would. Sure it's a bit out of the ordinary (especially in a small town like Hawkins), but nothing in this world would make him love Will any less. He's his best friend afterall. His best friend. Will Byers. Will is Mikes and Mike is Wills. WillandMike. MikeandWill. Inseperable, even in name. They would always go back to each other; no matter how many fights and arguments they had, how little they spoke over the past year, how many other friends they make- it will always be Will Byers and Mike Wheeler. It always has been and always will be them against the world, and neither of them would trade it for anything.
It was now after midnight and Mike was tossing and turning in his bed. He just couldn't get comfortable. After some contemplation, he finally decided to go downstairs and get a glass of water. He slouched up onto his bed and slid into a pair of trousers that was lying on his bed from yesterday; he never wore trousers to bed anymore- only at sleepovers because Lucas would yell at him for the "ghastly sight he had to endure", which Mike thought was very dramatic.
He stumbled out of his bed and to his door frame, rubbing his eyes as he done so. He very carefully avoided all the floorboards that made even the mildest of sounds to ensure he wouldn't wake anyone up. From his experience, he knows his Dad would go absoloutely mental if he was woken from his 13 hours of sleep. Typical for old Ted Wheeler.
He was halfway down the stairs before he heard something drop in the kitchen, followed with a muffled "shit." He stood there for a moment before continuing his way to the kitchen. He turned on the light as he entered, which half revealed another figure standing at the counter. He stared at the figures warm brown eyes and didn't look away. He could recognise Wills eyes anywhere, and God he wasn't ready to talk to him yet- especially alone. Not to mention the information from his conversation with El was playing on loop in his mind.
It only took a few seconds before Will broke the silence. "Hey Mike," he says, "what are you doing up? It's late."
"Could ask you the same thing," he says, his lips slightly curling up at the corners in the process. Will shoots him a look and folds his arms. "Trouble sleeping too?"
"Yeah. Jonathan won't stop snoring," he chuckles, making Mikes face flush with colour. "Thirsty?"
Mike nods and Will retrieves a second glass from the cabinet before filling it with ice-cold water. He walks over to Mike and places it in his hands.
God, he thought, Wills eyes. His hair. His mouth his lips his broad shoulders His shit eating grin currently plastered across his face.
"What’s up, Mike?" Will asks, running his finger over the brim of his glass.
Mike didn't respond at first. He didn't want to bring up the painting, or the fact that Will probably has a crush and there's a small possibility that it's the one and only Mike Wheeler. Instead of bringing any of that up he managed to blurt out something that would probably be a lot more awkward to talk about. "El and I broke up."
Wills face dropped. Mike studied him carefully, noticing how quickly his expressions changed. "I- I'm sorry, Mike. Did anything happen? Did you get into another argument?" he asks. It wasn't accusational, no it was genuine concern. Will never expected that they would break up- especially not now when they needed each other most.
Mike instantly regrets what he said. Well, there's no going back now.
He looked up to meet Wills gaze filled with sympathy. How could he still care about him after how he’d been treated. He deserves so much more than just an apology, he thought. “No. No, no it wasn’t an argument or anything,” Mike felt a wave of emotions wash over him as he tried to think of the words to say. Even if he and Eleven better off with different people he can’t help but miss what they had, what he was so used to.
“It only happened today, we talked first about- well she talked about some stuff that was bothering her and then she brought it up. Says she needs to figure herself out before being in a relationship. Which I totally understand! I’m just scared she’ll- incase she, I don’t know.. resents me or something? Now that we aren’t together it might be awkward.
”Apart from that I guess I’m a bit glad. Don’t get me wrong, I love Eleven, but recently I’ve been wondering maybe I don’t love her how I used to, you know? She feels the same way. I think being apart from her kinda made me realise that. Before, I hated being apart from her, I felt this sort of longing for her, like I needed to be with her or something. It’s similar to how I felt a few years back with-,” Mike stopped when he seen the sudden change in Wills expression, he knows he doesn’t like it to be brought up but it’s hard to describe how he felt at the time, losing your best friend ever and losing the supposed love of your life had a similar kind of pain. “But when you moved it didn’t feel like that, at all. I guess we just grew out of it or something. I know she doesn’t need me anymore, which i’m glad about- well no not glad, i’m just- it’s good knowing that she isn’t being as reliant on people. She’s so strong and she doesn’t even realise it. My main worry is her- i don’t know- hating me or something. Maybe she’ll think i’m this awful person and the party will just like fall apart? Do you get what I mean?” he asked, forcing a smile before tearing up ever so slightly.
Will noticed this, of course. He set down the glass and took a step closer to Mike, his eyes glossy, and embraced him in a hug. He always felt other peoples pain, it’s what made him so easy to talk to when somethings wrong. He always understands even if he isn’t familiar with the situation. Mike loved that about Will and he’s sure that a lot of other people love it too.
It took Mike a moment or two to realise what happening before he returned the warm embrace of his friend. His arms squeezed tightly around the small of his back. He tucked his head into Wills shoulder and let the tears silently leave his eyes before tightening his grip.
It almost felt normal, touching each other like this. As if they were as close as they were when they were younger. It felt nice, nostalgic even, being in Wills arms like that, like he once would’ve been on a daily basis. That was, of course, before Troy and his friends used it as yet another reason to pick on them. It was mainly directed at Will, though. Anything that involved same sex intimacy (even in a purely platonic way) was always something they made fun of Will more than the others for. That’s mainly why Mike stopped it. He didn’t want to, of course, but he hated seeing how Wills demeanour could do easily change at the sight of the group.
“Mike it’s okay, you know that El would never do that. She still loves you so much even if it’s not in the way you both originally intended. You know that no matter what happens you’re stuck with us all, okay?” Will reassured him, rubbing circles on his back as Mike once did to him. Mike sniffled and loosened his grip, slowly and reluctantly removing himself from Wills warm embrace.
He hadn’t been hugged in a long time. The last time he was hugged, genuinely hugged and not just some lazy side hug, was probably when the Byers left. The last time he remember properly hugging someone was a year ago. It was the day everyone said their final goodbyes to El, Will, Jonathan, and Joyce. He remembers how he felt after biking away from the house that once belonged to the Byers family. He remembers his chest feeling heavier than a tonne of bricks and his stomach feeling empty like be hadn’t eaten in weeks. He remembers the realisation of what just happened. Realising that he can’t see the two people that meant so very much to him. And that was enough for him to trap himself in his basement for 2 weeks without talking to the rest of the party. He would look through his binder of amazingly detailed drawings wishing Will was here to add to his collection. He’d sit at stare at his supercom and wish that Eleven were here to ask to visit him. He wished Jonathan would come down to the basement to inform the party that they’d been playing too long and it was time for Will to leave. He even wished that Joyce would kindly bring over some leftover tray-bakes for us all and then sit and have a 2 hour long conversation with Karen. He missed it all, and god he would do anything for things to be like that again.