Chapter Text
Cater Diamond, happy Cater Diamond, carefree Cater Diamond, Magicam obsessed, no problems Cater Diamond, sweet Cater Diamond.
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Cater wondered if there was an alternate universe where all of this was true, where he was really the slightly obnoxious, but fun to be around Cater…The Cater that everyone loved. If there was really a universe where any of that was true, Cater wished he was there.
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He wished that the personality everyone connected to Cater was true. That it wasn’t just a facade he’s been putting on his entire life. That Cater was always the first choice. That he truly was special to someone.
That maybe one day, Cater could have a chance to be someone's number one.
He had never stayed in one place long enough to even have a glimpse of a chance of what being truly loved felt like.
His parents never had time, to his sisters he was a doll . Being styled and molded into what they saw fit. They didn’t care about what Cater wanted.
He wished that he wasn’t really locked in his room right now, wiping the remains of smudged eyeshadow and eyeliner off of his face as he stared into the bathroom mirror.
Because nothing ever works out for Cater Diamond. He should’ve known this by now. He should’ve known this when he fell in love with Trey Clover. He should’ve known that it was stupid to think he had a chance with someone like Trey. He should’ve known that it was stupid for him to have hope.
No matter how much his mind told him to stop chasing after something he could never have, he didn’t. Because he had hope.
He thought he had found someone to truly consider a best friend . He had never had one of those before. He never had enough time.
Cater had known Trey and Riddle were close, they’ve been friends since childhood after all. In what authority was Cater in to interfere with what they had?
Trey was also the vice housewarden, so Trey and Riddle spent a lot of time together. But so did Trey and Cater, Cater spent more time with Trey than he did with anyone else, he thought that made this special. That maybe one day they…
Cater quickly brushed the thoughts away and wiped the rest of his makeup off, then throwing away the makeup wipes as he walked out of the bathroom and into his room, he unlocked the door now that he wasn’t looking like such a mess.
He undid his hair tie and let his hair fall onto his face, he laid down on his bed and took out his phone. ‘1 new text from: Trey <3’ Cater debated on opening the message or not, afraid of what the message could contain, what if it was something that would push Cater off the edge? But the last bit of hope that Cater tried to push down made him open it…
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Maybe he really should’ve listened to the part of him telling him not to open it. Maybe he should’ve really just went straight to sleep. That could’ve saved him, maybe if he had never opened that message Cater Diamond would still be alive today.
“Hey Cater, i’m so sorry to cancel on such short notice but I won’t be able to make it to that movie we were planning to see. Riddle just gave me a whole bunch of more work to do, maybe next time! I’ll be sure to give you back the money for it though.”
Cater knew that wasn’t true, this wasn’t the first time Trey had canceled their plans. This was the third time they’ve had to reschedule their movie ‘ date’ .
After Riddles overblot, Trey suddenly had less time for Cater, instead he would be with Riddle, hanging out with Riddle, making plans with Riddle, making sure Riddle was okay.
Riddle had replaced Cater entirely. And Cater had finally come to accept that.
“Oh that's okay! there’s no need to return the money! I don’t need it. Have fun with Riddle! Don’t worry abt me! TTYL Trey! Goodnight!”
Cater didn’t wait for a response, he didn’t need one. He didn’t want one either. It felt like his entire life just came crumbling down on top of him. He never learns, does he? Nothing will ever work out in the end, no matter how good things seem.
No one would ever love Cater, they’d love Cater Diamond, the social butterfly, happy go lucky, Cater Diamond . But the second they saw who Cater really was, they’d leave him, just like everyone else.
No one could ever love someone like Cater. That day was when Cater’s last strand of hope had finally disappeared.
It’s been a week since then, Cater had started distancing himself from not just Trey, but everyone. He received many texts, he would always look through the names of those who had texted him. Always looking for one name that he knew, would never be there, and it never was.
It’s now been 2 weeks since Cater ghosted everyone, and started avoiding them entirely. And still he scanned through his notifications looking for a name he knew would never be there.
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It’s been 5 weeks since he started avoiding everyone. He didn’t go to club meetings, he simply went to class, and went back to his room, like he had been doing for the entire time. Today was different. Because when he scanned through the names of everyone who had texted him today. A new name was there. Someone he had been longing to hear from, but didn’t allow himself to talk to.
‘2 new messages from: Trey Clover’
Cater stared at his phone screen for longer than he should’ve. For anyone else, this would’ve been an easy decision. ‘ Open the message, you’ve been waiting for this’ Is probably what anyone else would’ve thought.
But Cater had no more hope. Why should he? If he did, it wouldn’t matter. Nothing that Trey could say could fix this.
So Cater didn’t open the message, and he never planned on opening it either.
He knew no one cared, especially Trey, he knew whatever that message that Trey would eventually send would just be something along the lines of “Riddle told me to check up on you, how are you doing? No one’s heard from you in awhile”
Trey probably didn’t even notice Cater was ghosting people. Trey probably didn’t care.
That’s what Cater told himself. And that’s what he continued to tell himself when posting his final post on Magicam.
It's what he told himself when he ran away from Night Raven College.
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And it’s what he told himself when he ended up taking his own life shortly after.