Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

She didn’t know when she first noticed it, or rather, when she realized it was more than a petulant, immature defiance. She knew Wilhelm was angry when he returned from Hillerska for the winter holidays. She had expected a cold reception, and hadn’t been surprised when Wilhelm had ignored her summons upon arriving at the palace, choosing instead to lock himself away in his room. He had also refused to come down for dinner that first night, nor had he appeared for breakfast the following morning.

She suspected that he wouldn’t have made an appearance at all the entire break if she hadn’t demanded his presence at dinner the following night, having her assistant inform him that if he did not come down, she would instruct the kitchen not to send him a tray in his room. This had gotten him to leave his chambers, if reluctantly, and he was most definitely in a mood. 

When he had entered, he had greeted her with a curt, “Your Majesty,” before turning to Ludvig, nodding at him. “Father.”

Throughout the meal, he spoke only when spoken to, answering her with short, clipped replies, while speaking more freely with the Prince Consort. As soon as the meal was finished, he excused himself and stood to leave, no doubt to go back to his room and sulk. She had considered ordering him back, but had decided it wasn’t worth it at the point.

The following week continued in much the same vein. Wilhelm was stiff and formal in her presence, addressing her only as ‘Your Majesty,’ while being slightly more relaxed around his father, all the while hiding out in his room as much as possible.

Now it was Christmas Eve, and the extended family had gathered for dinner as was custom. Wille had scowled upon seeing his second cousin among the guests, and she had been certain Wilhelm would walk away, lock himself in his room again. She had been set to order him back, to demand that he show their guests some respect, but to her surprise, he had simply turned his back to the older boy, ignoring him, even smiling at his six year old cousin, Bernice, who was talking animatedly about the ballet her parents had taken her to earlier that day.

Perhaps Wilhelm was finally coming around, understanding why she had done what she had. She was proven wrong, however, when she approached him to join her and Ludvig by the fireplace to propose a toast.

“As you command, Your Majesty,” he had replied, voice going cold once more.

She had not been unaware of the way he had stood stiffly, unemotionally beside her as she gave a small speech, and raised her glass of warm mulled wine. “To family!”

Wilhelm had not returned the sentiment as the others had echoed her, nor had he taken a sip of his cider.

She had had enough, and as casually as possible, had pulled him aside, out of hearing of the others.

“That is enough, Wilhelm!”

“I don’t know what you are speaking of, Your Majesty?”

“Stop it, this instant! You are too old to be acting like a petulant child! You are the Crown Prince! Act like it!”

“I thought I was acting like the Crown Prince. As you’ve often pointed out, a prince should be stoic, show no emotion, project the perfect image at all times.”

She was taken aback by that, frowning. “Yes, in public, but not in private. It’s not necessary to refer to me in such a manner when we are alone.”

“And how shall I address you when alone?” Wilhelm had asked in a voice so chilled, she actually shivered.

“You may continue to address me as mamma, as you always have.”

He appeared to think about it for a moment, and then shook his head. “I think not. A mother is someone who places their child’s happiness and well being above all else. They would never allow someone to humiliate their child and let them go unpunished. They would never make their child deny their true self.  You have made it perfectly clear that nothing is more important to you than The Crown. I have no mother.”

His words felt like a slap to the face, stunning her to the point that she didn’t even notice when he walked away, leaving the gathering without a glance back. She wasn’t even seeing the room around her anymore. Instead she was drawn back to the last conversation she’d had with Erik before the accident.

“You’re pushing him too hard!” Erik said, voice rising.

“He needs to learn that we can’t always get what we want! He has a certain expectation to live up to!” she had countered. “Until you marry and produce an heir, he is still the next in line behind you for the throne. He needs to accept his responsibilities and start acting like a prince!”

“You know Wille’s always been sensitive, hating being in the public eye, always scrutinized!” Erik had begun to pace the room, stopping to glare at her. “One of these days you are going to push him too far, and he will despise you for it. He will never forgive you for putting The Crown before him!”

“Kristy?” Ludvig inquired softly, having witnessed the exchange between his wife and son.

“I’ve lost him. Wilhelm hates me. I’ve lost both of my sons.”

Chapter Text

He lay in bed, facing the wall, with his phone clutched in his hand as he scrolled through Simon’s instagram account. Wille had created a new, anonymous account so no one would link the Crown Prince to the boy he loved. He didn’t want to draw anymore attention to Simon, but he couldn’t bear not seeing him for so long.

He stared at a photo Simon had posted of him and his family less than an hour ago. They were laughing and smiling. Sara had silver tinsel wrapped all around her, while Simon had a crown of Christmas lights glowing on his head, and Linda held a couple of red and green ornaments to her ears like earrings.

That is what a family should look like. Happy, loving, full of joy because they are together. Wille had never experienced that with his family. They never looked like this in photographs. Everything was posed, forced, unnatural, as if they were mannequins someone had propped up and photographed. There was no life in any of their family pictures.

There was no life for Erik anymore, and Wille couldn’t help envying him sometimes. Erik no longer had to deal with the Queen’s bullshit. When he wasn’t envying him, he was angry with his brother, for dying and leaving Wille to face everything alone. If Erik was alive, Wille never would have gotten drunk and high that night, never would have called Simon, and there wouldn’t have been anything for August to film.

That fucking video ruined everything. August had humiliated him, perverting something that should have been private, special, just for him and Simon, something sacred. And then to have the Queen force him to deny it, only to learn that she had known that August was the one who had filmed them and posted it for the entire world to see…

He almost crushed his phone with his bare hands as the anger washed over him again. Instead he turned it off and tucked it under his pillow, staring straight ahead at the wall. He hated her. She was the one who was supposed to protect him, to care about his feelings, but all she cared about was image. The Crown would always take precedence over everything to her.

A light knocking on his door interrupted his thoughts. He glanced at the clock. It was past eleven at night. Three hours since he’d walked away from the ‘family’ gathering. He was surprised the Queen had taken so long to send someone to summon him for a lecture. He ignored a second knock, having no intention to face her ever again.

Instead of a third knock, he heard the scraping of a key in the lock, but he didn’t move, just continued to stare straight ahead. Of course the Queen would force herself into his chambers to scold him, but he was done letting her walk all over him.

To his surprise, it wasn’t the Queen’s voice that spoke, but rather his father’s. “She’s only human, Wille. She isn’t infallible.”

That annoyed Wille even more. “So, you think that makes what she did okay?”

“She was just trying to protect you,” Ludvig insisted.

“Protect me from what? The pain? The humiliation of having my private life broadcast to the world? She failed miserably if that was her intent. The only thing she was protecting was her reputation, not mine. If she cared about me, she would punish August, condemn his actions publicly. She wouldn’t force me to deny who I am, or what I am.”

The Prince Consort sighed. “I know you weren’t ready to accept the role of Crown Prince, but you have to understand, Wille…”

“Understand what?” he demanded, sitting up and looking at the older man for the first time. “Don’t you dare tell me I have a duty and a responsibility to the Crown, and that I have a certain image I must uphold! Don’t you think she hasn’t been forcing that down my throat since birth?”

Ludvig had the grace to look chagrined, but also determined to make him understand. “It was how she was raised, Wilhelm. She knew from the cradle that one day she would be queen, and the burden of ruling would be hers.”

“I never wanted to be Crown Prince!” Wille shouted. “That was supposed to be Erik’s burden! He was ready for it! I just wanted to live my life! My life! I never wanted every eye on me all the time! I never asked to be born a prince! No one cared about what I wanted, what I needed !” He stood up and went to the window. “I wish she were the one to die in that crash, not Erik!”

“Wilhelm!” Ludvig admonished, shocked by the words. “Apologize, now!”

“No! I refuse to allow anyone to dictate my life ever again! If you are just going to defend her, then you can leave now. I will never forgive her! I will never apologize again for being me! She should be the one to apologize for forcing this on me! And you’re no better! You never once spoke up for me, never tried to protect me from her!”

Ludvig tried to interrupt, but Wille didn’t give him the chance. “Get out of my room! And tell the Queen that I’d rather starve than look at her face again!”

For a moment, Wille thought the older man might actually slap him. He’d never seen his father so angry, but he didn’t care. He half wished he would slap him. It would just prove what Wille always knew. No one cared about him. He wasn’t a person. He was nothing but a mannequin, to be posed for the public, with no regard for his feelings.

But then Ludvig’s shoulders dropped, and he let out a sound of defeat before turning and leaving the room. Wille strode to the door and slammed it after him, reengaging the lock. He stood there for a moment, leaning his head against the cool wood, slowly letting the anger recede, wanting to return to the numb state he’d been in since returning to the palace.

After a moment, he stood and walked back to his bed, retrieving his phone, and opening up his main account, composing a DM, which would allow him to write a longer message than a text. After reading through it twice, he hit send.

…

It was a few minutes before midnight, before Christmas, when Simon’s phone chimed an incoming message. He had been laying in his bed, but sleep was far off as he stared up at his ceiling. He reached for the phone, a mixture of hope and dread filing him. Only one person would be texting him at this time of night, and he still didn’t know how he felt about him.

Wille had said he loved him, but Simon couldn’t say it back. He couldn’t risk his heart getting trampled on again. He stared at the message icon for at least five minutes before curiosity got the better of him, and he thumbed it open.

Everything is still fake. There is no sign of life in the palace. I can barely breathe, there is no air. You are the oxygen I need. Without you I feel dead inside. I have no life here. I am nothing but a mannequin, to be paraded out for the public to gawk at The Crown Prince. I have no family. No one cares about Wille. They only care about the throne, the public image. I would give it all up to be with you. Say the word and I will abdicate. I know you are still angry with me, and I am sorry. I would say The Queen made me betray you, but you were right. I had a choice, and I was a coward who let her dictate my life once again. Maybe someday you will forgive me. That thought is the only thing keeping me sane right now. Am I a fool? The only thing I know that isn’t fake is my love for you. 

Simon felt his chest constrict, aching for Wille. He understood what it felt like to be all alone in the center of a crowd.

Another message popped up on his screen.

This time I am sober. 

That actually made Simon laugh a little. Smiling, he typed out a response. He still couldn’t tell Wille he loved him, but he hoped Wille understood what he was saying.

…

Wille wasn’t expecting an answer that night. He thought Simon would probably be asleep, so when his phone chimed, he grabbed it eagerly, almost dropping it trying to open the message.

I’m not angry with you anymore. Don’t you dare abdicate! I expect you to change the monarchy someday! Bring it into the modern era! Take a deep breath. I’ll be here when you are ready. You aren’t alone. You aren’t a mannequin. You are alive. You are Wille.

Wilhelm let the smile spread slowly over his face. He hadn’t said the words, but he knew what Simon was trying to tell him. Simon wasn’t ready to admit it yet, but he loved Wille.

His phone chimed again.

Go to bed, Your Majesty! 😉

Chapter Text

She stared out the window of her office, into the snow shrouded rose garden. No flowers bloomed in the dead of winter, and that suited her mood just fine. She felt a little dead inside, but unlike the rose bushes, she doubted she would ever feel alive again.

Parents were not supposed to outlive their children. Ludvig had told her what Wilhelm had said, about wishing it had been her who had been in the accident, not Erik. She’d been thinking about that for the past week. She was supposed to be writing her New Year's Eve speech for later that night, but the words would not come. All she could think of were the words Wilhelm had thrown at her on Christmas Eve. 

A mother is someone who places their child’s happiness and well being above all else. They would never allow someone to humiliate their child and let them go unpunished. They would never make their child deny their true self.

She caught her own reflection in the window, studied her face for several long minutes. Had she ever felt like Wilhelm as a child? Felt like she was trapped in a life she didn’t want? She remembered once when she had been about five or six, she had told her mother that she wanted to be an opera singer when she grew up, and her mother had smiled and patted her shoulder.

“But you will be Queen when you grow up, darling. You won’t have time to be an opera singer.”

She remembered being disappointed by her mother’s words, and crying into her pillow that night. As she had gotten older, she had resigned herself to her fate, accepted that her destiny was already determined. Erik had as well, or at least he seemed to. 

But Wilhelm had always been different. He had never wanted to be a prince, Crown or otherwise.

With a sigh she turned and sat down at her desk, pushing the call button for her assistant, Minou.

…

Simon was home alone when the knock came on the door. His mom was covering a shift for a coworker who had broken her leg while skiing the previous week, and Sara had been invited to Felice’s home for their New Year celebration. He had planned to spend the evening celebrating with Ayub and Rosh later, but that wasn’t for a few more hours.

He hesitated before answering the door. It had been weeks since a reporter had come around, sniffing for a story, but Simon was still wary. Cautiously he peeked through the curtain by the door, surprised by the figure on the doorstep.

He opened the door, panic spilling through him.

“Where is Wille? Has something happened?”

“Calm yourself,” Malin replied. “I’ve come with an invitation from the palace.”

…

Wille lay on the bed, eyes closed, his air-pods playing some hip hop song he wasn’t really listening to, just trying to block out the world entirely. He couldn’t wait to get back to Hillerska in a few days, to see his friends. To see Simon.

He hadn’t spoken to Simon since the DMs on Christmas Eve, but he felt a warmth in his chest knowing he hadn’t lost the boy forever, and hoped they could work things out when school started back up.

He didn’t want to think of what he would do when he saw August again. He was furious. He just wanted to wipe that condescending smirk off the asshole’s face.

He opened his eyes when he felt his phone vibrate against his thigh, where it rested on the bed. It was a text from Felice. Frowning he opened the message.

OMG! Have you seen this?- Felice

He sat up and opened the link, confused. His confusion only grew as he read the short news article that had apparently just been released within the last couple of hours.

Palace announces culprit in leaked video that appeared to show the Crown Prince in a compromising position has been apprehended and charged with distributing child pornography.

The Royal family’s spokesperson announced this afternoon that the investigation into who posted the video has been concluded, and a suspect is in custody. The name of the suspect is being withheld at this time due to the fact that they are underage. No further information has been released, but we have been assured that the Queen will be addressing the issue shortly.

Wille frowned deeper as he reread the clip. What did this mean? Had the Queen had August arrested? Or had she found someone to take the fall to appease the masses? He wouldn’t put it past her.

He didn’t have time to think about it further as someone knocked on his door.

“Your Highness,” Minou called out softly. “Her Majesty has taken ill, and wishes for you to give the New Year’s Eve speech in her stead. The camera crew is setting up now to record it. You have time to dress accordingly.”

The request annoyed Wille, and he thought about telling her to tell the Queen to fuck off, but then glanced back down at the news story on his phone. “Very well, Minou. I’ll be ready in thirty minutes.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

He showered quickly, and dressed in his most comfortable suit. The shirt was a light purple, the tie black with a matching purple stripe. He combed his hair neatly, and then studied his reflection for a few moments, before slipping his phone into his pocket, and exiting his room for the first time since Christmas Eve. Minou caught up with him in the hallway just outside the parlor.

“Not here, Your Highness. The Queen thought a less formal setting would be more appropriate this year. They are waiting for you in the conservatory.”

She directed him further down the hall, to one portion of the palace that was usually reserved for the family’s use only. The conservatory was currently decked out in evergreen boughs, holly leaves, and pale ivory candles. Minou directed him to sit on one of the well cushioned seats next to the large window, which was currently reflecting back the warm candlelight against the dark sky outside.

“Here,” she said, placing a sheath of papers into his hand. The speech, no doubt. He wasn’t given a chance to even glance at it before the makeup woman began dabbing at his face as the cameraman adjusted the lighting. Then Minou was indicating for him to begin whenever he was ready.

He took a deep breath, took a minute to settle himself, and then looked at the speech.

“Greetings, denizens of Sweden. As you all can imagine, this has been a difficult year for our family. My brother was the heart of our home, the one who made certain each of us lived up to our greatest potential, who made sure we were happy, and reminded us to take care of ourselves. His loss has left a hole in our hearts.”

He paused to take a sip of water before he continued, shuffling to the next page, and frowned, almost stumbling over the words as the shock hit him.

“Since the death of my brother, there have been other issues to arise. I am speaking of the video that was leaked earlier this month. At the time, I denied it was me. I would like to apologize for lying. I was still mourning the death of my brother, and not thinking clearly when I said it wasn’t me in the video. In doing so, I hurt someone I care about deeply.”

He quickly glanced up at Minou, surprise and confusion on his face. Surely his mother hadn’t written this. Minou only smiled at him softly, and nodded for him to continue.

“I also set a bad example for the LGBTQ+ youth in the country who are afraid to admit who they are. I want to apologize for not having the courage to say that it is okay to be who you are, to be who I am. I am not yet ready to label my sexuality, and I feel it shouldn’t be necessary. I only know that…”

He dropped the papers and looked up once more, looking straight at the camera. “I know that I found someone who makes me happy, who sees me as I am, and not as The Crown Prince. He makes me feel like I can do anything I want to if I try. He makes me smile. He has the voice of an angel, and the heart of a Saint. He’s patient, and kind, and strong, and so much braver than I am. And I love him.”

He stood up, forgetting the camera. “I have to go,” he said to Minou. “Where is Malin?”

He didn’t stop walking, almost running from the room, only to skid to a stop when he saw his bodyguard entering, but his eyes didn’t really register her presence, falling instead on the figure walking behind her.

He nearly sobbed at the sight of those dark curls tumbling into that beautiful face. No force on Earth could stop him from rushing to the boy and pulling him into his arms, almost sobbing on his shoulder as he held on as tight as he could, afraid the boy would disappear if he let go. He didn’t register right away that Simon was also sobbing.

He pulled back slightly, cupping the shorter boy’s face, thumbing away the tears. “What are you doing here?”

Simon could only shrug, but another voice spoke softly from behind Simon.

“I sent for him,” Kristina said, her voice hesitant as both boys turned to look at her. She took a shaky breath. “I was wrong,” she said. “I should never have made you lie about the video. I know I broke your trust, and I don’t know if we can ever mend the rift between us, but you were right. I should have put your happiness and well being above all else. I hope one day you will forgive me.”

He just stood there staring at her for a moment, and then he remembered the news story from earlier. “What about August?”

She sighed, looking away as she answered. “I will make arrangements for him to plead guilty to the charges and have him sentenced to community service. He will be stripped of his Prefect duties as well as his captain-ship of the rowing team, and he will need to work at the school to repay his tuition fees. In exchange, you will not inform the press or the public that he was the one who was responsible. Is that acceptable?”

Wille glanced at Simon, who just shrugged after a moment.

“Fine, but I want him barred from further family gatherings and events.” Kristina merely nodded. “And one more thing. I want you to make a public announcement, acknowledging your role in keeping me from revealing the truth about the video, and a public apology from you to Simon.”

Simon started to protest, but Kristina held her hand up. “Wille is right. I do owe you an apology as well. If you wish, I will not name you, but the public should know that even their monarch makes mistakes.”

He studied her for a moment, and then nodded.

There was an awkward silence for a moment, and then the Queen cleared her throat. “Well, I suppose the two of you have things to discuss. I shall say goodnight, then.”

She turned to walk away, and Wille swallowed the lump in his throat. “Thank you, Mamma.”

She turned and looked back at him, and smiled softly. “Goodnight, Wille.”