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Gather your courage, stretch out your fingers, and smile gently
We hold our heads up with pride, so we can become braver
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A late Thursday evening found Saijo Claudine gliding by herself in the unoccupied space of Seisho’s dance studio, hands grasping in the air at an invisible dance partner. Her eyelids were closed, occasionally peeking open to check her footing before she allowed herself to become immersed in her position once again. She’d allowed a few windows to crack open, letting in the cold air to blow into her golden locks and tender skin as she danced elegantly by herself.
It wasn’t until a few minutes later when she stopped in place, opening her eyes to the sight of the campus foliage that spread out in front of her. While it wasn’t the warm stage lights that graced her from overhead, the breeze from the open windows tickled her skin, prompting Claudine to smile to herself as she imagined a million embraces of applause.
That was when she felt a lingering gaze on her form, and she turned her head to the sight of none other than the top student herself, amethyst eyes intruding on her little moment.
“Tendo Maya.” She exhaled through panting breaths. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
Maya placed her things against the wall by the door and offered her a small smile. “It’s been a while since we practised together.”
That was true. Several weeks ago, Maya had come to choose not to proceed with her practices with Claudine, instead doing so by herself at any empty space she could find. It started with Maya appearing to the studio inconsistently, before she stopped appearing altogether. Her partner never seemed to question this - at least, if she did, she did not confront Maya regarding the situation. They had no promise to always practice together, after all. It just became a coincidence that they decided to do so after school on a daily basis, and soon became an unspoken frequency between them. While the brunette would’ve loved keeping Claudine’s company in honing her skills, it became too much. Claudine did not need to know of the times she had to rush off to the bathroom or collapse in on herself during her solo practices. She would never allow the blonde to see her in such a vulnerable state. Perhaps, even, Maya was simply sparing Claudine of witnessing her flaws.
The girl in question turned her body around fully to face the top student. For a moment, the brunette seemed to be expecting the usual hostile glare, one she’d taken to in good humour. Instead, the expression Claudine had on was one of nonchalance, as if it was any other normal day. As if the mental breakdown Maya had several days back, one that involved her ripping herself open and exposing herself raw right in front of the blonde herself - her supposed rival - was nothing of concern.
Ever since that day, Maya had been expecting Claudine to probe something out of her, to force her to go back to normal, whatever normal was. But instead the blonde had simply stuck closer to her, reminding her to eat and rest properly when she needed to, lacking any air of forcefulness. Only encouragement.
Weeks of neglect had caused Maya’s body to be unable to accept food at sudden large portions, and hence it became clear that healing was to be a slow process. This gave Claudine the window to present her with small smiles whenever she saw Maya try - keyword try - to do more in comparison to the unhealthy lifestyle she led previously. Albeit more doesn’t always mean a lot, it was enough.
It sent unfamiliar waves of happiness and comfort in Maya’s heart, knowing that it was enough.
“You avoided me.” Claudine pointed out, shrugging, as if it was no big deal.
Knowing full well that it mattered to some extent, Maya stepped forward and extended an arm. “I apologise.”
Sighing, the blonde took Maya’s hand and grasped onto it tightly, giving her a comforting squeeze.
“Dance with me?” She requested, watching the way Maya’s lavender eyes lit up at the offer. Claudine rolled her eyes at that, before peering back into the brunette’s irises and narrowing her eyes in her usual challenging gaze.
“Thought you’d never ask.” The taller girl quipped in a teasing tone, taking her hand back to fix the bow in her hair. “Wouldn’t you like to take a break first? You’ve been at it for a while.”
“You’ve been watching me this entire time?” Claudine accused, placing her hands on her hips. “Could’ve said hi.”
“I considered it.” Maya hummed. “But you seemed so engrossed in your own world, I did not have it in me to interrupt.”
“Staring is creepy.” Pointing a finger in Maya’s face, Claudine fumed without any bite.
“I was merely your audience.” Maya spoke swiftly, dismissing of her own crimes. “You are always so fond of your audiences.”
“Implying I am fond of you?” The half-french scoffed, waving a hand in the air as a distraction to her flustered state. “You are so full of yourself.”
Maya’s smile was small, and for a moment Claudine found herself retracing her words, wondering if she’d said anything wrong. She had tried her best to not walk around eggshells around Maya, knowing the other girl was tougher than she seemed, but her being careful with her choice of wording had been a self-imposed habit for the past week. It was strange, but a part of her was certain that something spoken by her, even when it was meant in a playful context, could be taken the wrong way by Maya.
She understood, however, that any intrusive thoughts were genuinely neither her nor Maya’s fault. It was the brunette’s own internal battle to win, one she believed Maya would triumph in victory.
“Come, rest.” The words slipped out of Maya’s lips before Claudine herself could access it herself. She had been saying it to Maya rather often recently, and hearing it come from the taller girl herself was in some ways refreshing.
When they went to sit, Claudine paused at grabbing her bottle, turning to Maya with a pondering look.
“Have you done your stretches?”
Maya swallowed the mouthful she’d already taken and lowered the lid from her lips. “No, I was conversing with Hoshimi-san regarding our upcoming play later in the year. I’ve only just changed before arriving here.”
Claudine plopped down onto her rear end and picked at her bottle instead of drinking from it. She didn’t say anything immediately, prompting Maya to watch her patiently as she sensed something floating around in the blonde’s mind.
When Claudine huffed to herself and took a sip, Maya nudged her gently.
“Saijou-san?”
Her company grunted in response.
“What’s the matter?” Maya implored.
Claudine swallowed a few gulps, averting her gaze from Maya momentarily before speaking with her lips still touching the drink.
“How are you?” She murmured, appearing embarrassed. Showing Maya her sensitive side was still a fresh concept in her mind, one she had no intention of showing too often. Maya blinked, recomposing herself at the sudden question. Claudine looked at her. “I know it hasn't been long, and it takes a long time to… recover. Admittedly I don’t know much about what you’re going through, but- I just needed to ask.”
Maya was quiet for a moment, copying Claudine in drinking a few mouthfuls herself before responding. “Does it… does everything that has been going on with me discomfort you?”
The French's eyes widened. “No! That’s not-” She exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry if it came across that way. Look, it’s all so new to me, it’s not something I am educated on. I just don’t know how to support you, and I don’t know if what I’ve been doing is enough. We have only known each other for a few months, I don’t want to cross any boundaries.”
There was a small smile again, except this time, a visible twinkle passed by the top student’s eyes. “You are doing fine, Claudine. More than I could ever ask of you.”
Slightly taken aback by Maya’s use of her first name, the blonde found herself tugging at a stray strand of hair, her fingers needing to grab onto something as she steeled herself. She’d always seen Maya as an acquaintance at best, perhaps close to friendship under certain circumstances. Claudine got along with most everyone, Maya included, though in all honesty, Maya was not entirely the same in that aspect. Others reached out to her and befriended her of course, and she was polite in the matter, but since their first year at Seisho started, Maya never truly made an attempt at being close with anyone. Why that was was certainly none of Claudine’s business, but she’d be an ignorant fool to not notice how Maya was distant with most when she could help it.
The thought that their friends cared deeply for Maya enough to notice when she started to pull away even more was a heartwarming thought.
But Maya was still a private person, and Claudine regretted not reaching out and getting her to open up so much sooner than she did. Even so, with all the rivalry that began since their first meeting, Maya was still human in her eyes. To see her still up and fighting to maintain the top spot despite battling her cruel, inner demons at the same time simply made her even more astounding.
“I don’t know what you need.” Claudine admitted, straightening her hair as she pulled down a curl.
“What is it they say?” The brunette mused. “Your life is a theatre of greatness. And each day, a platform for mastery.”
The second student shook her head at the quote, putting up a show of irritation. “I can’t believe you.” Then, heaving a heavy sigh. “I should be the one to tell you that.”
“I heard it’s a learning process for everyone involved.” Maya insisted. Then, tenderly, “Are you involved?”
She received a glare at that. “You know I am.”
Tendo Maya’s smile was wider this time, almost showing her teeth. “Thank you, Saijou-san. It is… difficult, realising that it would be pleasant to have friends, especially one like you, to depend on. To encourage me to grow. But I believe it is something I am capable of getting used to.”
“Character development.” Claudine joked light-heartedly. “Even someone as impossible as you is capable of that.” She shifted slightly, turning so she was directly facing Maya. “That was what you meant, wasn’t it? Your life is great, all of ours are- it just depends on us how we would choose to live each day, and each day is filled with so much potential towards greatness.”
She laughed lightly to herself. “I should be the one to tell you that. But… good advice all the same. For both of us.”
A small nod welcomed her answer, Maya leaving her head bent down slightly. Her bangs fell over her brows, casting a shadow over her eyes.
“Tendo Maya?” The blonde questioned in a sudden bout of concern.
Maya didn’t leave her wondering. “I can’t thank you enough, Saijou-san.”
She was back to referring to Claudine by her last name again. The half-french thought about where they stood in friendship, wondering if Maya either felt unwelcomed to her friendship or she simply did not understand where they stood.
Rivals can be friends, Claudine amended. A little friendly rivalry would not harm anyone. After all, Maya frustrates the living daylights out of her to no end, and even so she still cared deeply for the girl’s wellbeing.
“You can count on me.” Claudine told her, feeling lavender eyes bore into her as she spoke with deep confidence. “When you have troubles, when you need company, whether it be for our usual practices, or just relaxing together, or any ailments you may have-” She paused, momentarily doubtful, “I-I can’t promise that I’ll always know what to do but, between the two of us we can always figure it out. In spite of everything, I wish for you to always be well.”
Maya surprised her by slipping her hand into Claudine’s own. “And I you.” She told her, fully meaning it. “You being here for me is more than enough. I promise, you never have to worry about not doing enough. And I-” Her grip loosened. “I apologise for making you worry.”
Claudine shook her head, looking embarrassed once again. “Never apologise for that.”
The blonde stared at her for a few beats. Then, tightening the grip on Maya’s hand, she stood up abruptly, pulling the brunette with her to her feet.
“Now come, let us practise. I need someone to beat, after all.”
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