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Fischl saw one of her retainers as a potential suitor.
(Amy saw one of her new friends, Kazuha, as a potential boyfriend [her first one! How exciting!])
At first, Fischl mistook the butterflies in her stomach as leftover nerves from confronting her mirage, but eventually she had to accept that she had a crush on Kazuha. A very ignoble crush, befitting of a common adolescent—not the Prinzessin der Verurteilung!
This could ruin her reputation, unless Lord Kazuha returned her feelings and she could take him as a Prince. She was only sixteen years old, but he couldn’t be older than one or two years older, so it was fine.
(The voice of Amy in the back of her mind thought that was stupid and a very bad idea.)
In actuality, Fischl probably wouldn’t marry Lord Kazuha, but rather wait until they were both older and had fully matured into their roles as Prince and Prinzessin der Verurteilung. That way, they were both ready.
(The voice of Amy told Fischl to calm down a bit—she was too young to be thinking about marriage!)
Oz said the same.
“Mein Fräulein, don’t you think it’s a bit too soon to be thinking about marrying someone?” Oz asked from where he was perched on a nearby tree branch. “Besides, he’s—“
“Nonsense, Oz!” Fischl interrupted her companion. “I have been benevolently ruling the Immernachtreich for many a year. It is only reasonable that I begin accepting suitors!”
“Mein Fräulein,” Oz said again, but Fischl was still talking.
“Besides,” Fischl said, breaking character for a moment. “He’s so cute! And he’s an accomplished sword an, and—ahem.” She took a deep breath, trying to regain her composure. When she spoke again, she was once again Fischl, the Prinzessin der Verurteilung.
“Lord Kazuha would be a most eligible suitor,” Fischl said. “But I shall hold my tongue for now. Come, Oz—we must return to our place of rest!”
And with that, she strolled off. Oz sighed, spreading his wings and taking off after her.
How am I going to tell her he’s too old if she never lets me speak?
***
Fischl tried her best to keep her newfound feelings under wraps. She really did. She even had to speak loudly over Oz on multiple occasions because he tried to expose her! Really, the nerve! Not to mention his disapproval of Lord Kazuha as a suitor. A ridiculous notion, really. Kazuha wasn’t that much older than her—he had to be eighteen at the most!
Still, Fischl would turn away when Lord Kazuha once again displayed his physical prowess or wisdom so he would see her flushed face, and she held her tongue when she felt she would stutter just from the serene air he held about him. She tamped down the urge to follow him about like a lovesick puppy—she was the Prinzessin der Verurteilung! She was supposed to be the one being followed!
Still, it had only been a matter of time before the ever-observant Lady Megistus noticed her odd behavior.
“Fischl,” Lady Megistus began. “I couldn’t help but notice you seem to be a bit… attached to Kazuha.”
“And what of it, Lady Megistus?” Fischl tried to sound nonchalant, but she was inwardly panicking. One of her retainers was onto her!
Well, at least it wasn’t Lord Kazuha who noticed.
“Well, he’s a bit old for you, isn’t he?” Lady Megistus said.
“Nonsense!” Fischl cried indignantly. “What’s one or two years?”
“Um, Fischl…” Lady Megistus trailed off, looking severely uncomfortable.
“Mein Fräulein, Kazuha is 22!” Oz exclaimed. “I’ve been trying to tell you this for days! He’s six years older than you!”
“That is illegal,” Lady Megistus added. “In Mondstadt, Liyue, and Inazuma, he would get arrested for dating you… that, and I’m 90 percent sure he’s more into men.”
“… What?” was all Fischl could say, her voice near silent. She, the Prinzessin der Verurteilung, was… wrong? She had made an incorrect assumption, and it was entirely possible that Lord Kazuha had noticed and did not reciprocate (and for good reason). She felt a hollow pit in her stomach where the butterflies had been, and her face heated in embarrassment.
“Wait—he’s gay?” Oz asked.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure he’s gay. He seemed quite appreciative of the Cavalry Captain upon meeting him when he first entered Mondstadt,” Lady Megistus said. Fischl tuned out the conversation after that.
She had been wrong. And everyone probably knew about it.
She felt like Amy again, that little girl who couldn’t face reality and lost herself in books until she erased herself from existence.
She was ashamed of herself for the foolishness she had displayed. How ignoble.
How pathetic.
A hand on Fischl’s shoulder startled her out of her misery, and she looked up at Lady Megistus—at Mona.
“It’s perfectly normal to have innocent crushes as a teenager, Fischl,” Mona said gently. “But you cannot expect them to reciprocate. Chances are, this crush will fade with time. But, in the meantime, I’ll keep your secret, alright?”
“Okay,” Fischl whispered.
“I will as well, though I was never actually trying to out you,” Oz added. “You got paranoid.”
“Sorry,” Fischl mumbled.
“No one’s mad at you,” Mona said. “You made a mistake. Even queens and kings do that, you know.”
“Really?” Fischl asked. All the books she had read showed royalty as powerful people who were beloved by all and could do no wrong.
“All the time,” Mona reassured her. “They’re human, after all. And so are you.”
“I make mistakes, and I’m a raven,” Oz said. “It’s part of being alive.”
Fischl was silent, fighting off tears. She didn’t need to humiliate herself again.
“Take some time, and then rejoin us,” Mona said. “Aether found the pieces we needed to get back to the mirage.”
“Understood, Lady Megistus,” Fischl said, but the attempt to be Fischl, the Prinzessin der Verurteilung, was halfhearted. Mona, thankfully, passed on a pitying look and returned to the group. Oz hovered nearby, concerned. Fischl sat down on a nearby log, burying her head in her hands.
“You’ll be fine,” Oz said. “… Right?”
It seemed he was just as lost as she was. Fischl tried to muster up words of encouragement, but nothing came up. Oz perched next to her and they both sat in silence.
“It doesn’t matter,” Oz added. “The crush, I mean. He doesn’t know, and it was an innocent mistake.”
Fischl didn’t answer, and Oz opted to stay silent as well, waiting for his friend to recover from the emotional whiplash she had just received.
A few minutes passed. Fischl stood, taking a deep breath. She had to pull herself together. She couldn’t rule the Immernachtreich as an emotional wreck, after all.
“Come, Oz,” she announced, though her voice was quieter than it normally was. “We must lead our retainers to the final mirage.”
“As you wish, mein Fräulein,” Oz replied as he took the the air, and he sounded relieved. Fischl smiled slightly.
She could do without a Prince for a few years longer, when she found someone closer to her age.