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What Kind Of Monster

Summary:

“Sometimes people just aren’t good”

Hunter, knew that,

But what did that mean for him, who even after everything, still missed belos?

(or: Hunter, after thinking about it for a while, asked Eda a question, and then promptly internalized the answer. but eventually, it all comes to a head, and he gets comfort and some more answers that he may not know what to do with, but will help him cope in the future)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

“Sometimes people just aren’t good”

 

That answer had repeated in Hunter's brain on loop for days.

 

He still didn’t know how to feel about it.

 

Hunter didn’t think he knew how to feel about anything frankly. He knew he should feel relieved.

 

Belos was gone, he couldn’t hurt people anymore. He couldn’t hurt him, anymore. But he didn’t. 

 

And they were back to the boiling isles. Everyone they loved was safe and- mostly, okay.

 

They’d stopped the day of unity, his friends were back with their families, healing. And he had been brought to the owl house while everything else was sorted out.

 

It felt weird being in the owl house, so maybe that contributed to how weird everything else felt, but he didn’t know.

 

Maybe it was just everything in general .

 

The world he knew had been stolen right out from under him like the casual rug. And he’d.. dealt. But now he knew nothing, and what he did know got him pitying looks from the owl lady.

 

He was so lucky to have flapjack, he was his beacon of some much-needed stability.

 

Nevertheless, however, even though he had him,

 

He was still so lost.

 

So, to cope with how lost he felt, he’d thought. And thought. And he knew that always ended poorly but he couldn’t really just stop.

 

And one thing he kept thinking about was how could the Emp- Belos do that?

 

Once he’d realized the emerald entrails being made to join the emperor's coven would cause them detriment he’d scrambled to fix it, he’d seen what would happen to their palisman, and he couldn't let that happen.

 

And even after he found out that Darius had planned to just take them back to hexside, and that them and their palisman had never been in any real danger, he’d felt so much guilt it was nauseating.

 

How could Belos deal with that?

 

How could he deal with intentionally planning to kill everyone?

 

How could he deal with hurting him?

 

And eventually, after far too long of the questions just bouncing around in his head. He’d asked the owl lady.

 

She’d paused what she was doing, visibly hesitating, choosing her words carefully before speaking.

 

And Hunter knew she said more than that, but that one sentence was the only thing he heard, it overshadowing anything else she said.

 

Sometimes people just aren't good,

 

How simple a message and how it ate at him.

 

Sometimes people just weren’t good.

 

And he’d not seen it, he’d not seen all the signs. Even though he knew they were there.

 

But he had just looked the other direction. So confident that he was just looking too far into it, or misreading it, or being ungrateful.

 

And even now, even after Belos tried to kill him, multiple times. Even after the mistreatment. Even after he saw Belos, his uncle, splatter against the wall with a sickening 

 

Squelch

 

Before the wall crumbled.

 

Even after it all, even after he realized Belos wasn’t good.

 

He missed him. He missed him so much.

 

He tried not to. But he did.

 

He couldn’t even say he hated him. He couldn't say he hated him but still missed him. Because that would be understandable- or at least he could make some sense of it.

 

But he didn’t hate him either.

 

He deserved to hate him. He wanted to say he hated him.

 

But he didn’t.

 

Sometimes people just aren’t good.

 

And he still didn’t hate him, even after everything.

 

Hunter has tried to make up for everything he’s done, he's tried desperately.

 

But he doesn’t hate him.

 

and he misses him.

 

He misses his uncle, the one who would sometimes tell him things about the human world with a wistful smile. He misses the uncle who would smile at him almost proudly when he tried to carve those wooden figures, even when he messed up and kept cutting his fingers, the one who had gently encouraged him to continue. He missed the uncle who said the titan had big plans for him. Because that meant he was destined for something, he was good for something, he was useful. And if he worked hard enough, he could not only make the titan happy but he could make his uncle proud, truly, completely, happily, proud.

 

He missed that uncle.

 

The same uncle who would use his curse- a self-inflicted curse- to hurt him. To grab him harshly. To scream. To leave him battling infection because of just how deep that cut is, and how hard it was to sanitize. the same uncle who left a scar on his cheek, and a notch in his ear. The same uncle who left a litter of scars on the side of his ribs, arms, and legs.

 

The same uncle who would give him corrections for even the smallest most minuscule misstep.

 

The one who made Hunter flinch at every touch.

 

And he missed him.

 

If Belos was a bad person, a person who hurt countless people, so countless it was pretty much the entire boiling isles.

 

If he was bad.

 

What kind of monster was Hunter to miss him?

 

Even after all Belos had done, even when Hunter knows he’ll never come back, and is relieved by that.

 

What kind of monster still misses him.

 

___

 

The thought stays in his mind for days, then weeks, as the world rebuilds itself. He helps, as much as he’s allowed, he’s told the adults can do it, that it’s their responsibility. 

 

But that doesn’t do more than frustrate him.

 

He sometimes tries to help, but sometimes he just stays back at the owl house with hooty and sometimes King. just trying to do anything he can to not feel useless.

 

Anything to distract himself.

 

Hunter feels such immense guilt at the realization that in doing so he’d been accidentally pulling away from flapjack. Spending less time with the bird. And he tries to stop it, to give them more attention, to always be with him.

 

But what if Hunter hurt him?

 

Hunter may not be his actual nephew but he still grew up with Belos. He was still made by him. He was still a grimwalker. What if he hurt him?

 

What if he killed him, broke the wooden palisman in half just like Belos did. In the same way that’s made him nauseous dozens of times?

 

He can't hurt flapjack.

 

He doesn't want to hurt flapjack.

 

It doesn’t take long at all for him to start drawing away from flapjack again, and then others, getting to the point of barely speaking unless spoken to.

 

He can’t let them know what a monster he is. He can’t lose this. The only time he’s ever really felt safe.

 

Hunter can't lose this.

 

He can't lose them. Especially not because they’ll know he missed him, they’ll think he never changed. They’ll think all of their care was for nothing.

 

The owl lady will kick him out.

 

But he has changed, at least he thinks he has. He doesn’t excuse anything Belos did- except for the things he’s done to him.

 

Because the more days passed, the more Hunter thought maybe he really did deserve it, maybe Belos could see how truly horrible and disgusting Hunter was.

 

Maybe he knew.

 

Maybe that’s why it was so easy for his uncle to decide he wanted to get rid of Hunter.

 

Because not only was he a grimwalker. Not family. Not even a witch. He was also a monster.

 

In the true sense of the word.

 

Sometimes people just aren’t good.

 

And who would know that better than Belos, who’d be able to spot it quicker?

 

But the owl lady, and Luz, and the captain and Gus and Darius and Ms. Camilla and everyone else, they were good people, wholeheartedly kind people.

 

Of course, they couldn’t spot it.

 

They didn't have any frame of reference for it.

 

They weren’t awful people who missed people even when they were bad. They weren't selfish enough to hide it. they weren't useless; not able to help with anything even when he tried.

 

But Hunter is.

 

He doesn’t know why flapjack chose him, he should’ve found a better witch. They deserved one.

 

But now they're stuck with him.

 

At least in theory, if that bird wanted to leave they would have. 

 

He felt guilt from how grateful he felt that flapjack stayed, even just a bit longer.

 

He truly was awful.

 

____

 

He’d tried getting better, tried being better, he helped with anything he could. He shared anything he had that Luz or King were interested in. He played with King more. He gave anything he had to anyone he’d thought would like it. He cleaned and dusted and did anything he could to help Eda. 

 

He tried being good.

 

He didn’t want to be bad.

 

But he shouldn’t have thought that would help anything.

 

No matter what he did he was bad.

 

And that thought was even more sure of itself as he stared at the broken plate on the ground in abject horror.

 

He had tried washing dishes, it wasn’t his turn but he’d volunteered anyway, he’d wanted to help out, to prove he wasn’t a failure, wasn’t useless, wasn’t bad.

 

And Hunter had broken a plate.

 

It had just slipped out of the wet gloves' grip.

 

And suddenly everything was loud as he heard the dish fall. Hit the ground.

 

And shatter.

 

His heart dropping into the pit of his stomach with it. 

 

He’d broken it.

 

Oh titan they would be furious.

 

…And they would know.

 

He’d failed.

 

His uncle- Belos, was right, he only messed stuff up. No wonder he’d needed the corrections if he messed up this bad.

 

He couldn't breathe.

 

But- maybe he could fix it? Maybe he could still make it better?

 

a little desperately he reached down to pick up the shards.

 

The gloves would protect his hands so he didn't even hesitate.

 

And they would be less mad if he at least cleaned up his mess, maybe he wouldn’t even have to tell them- no that would be lying, he had to tell them.

 

Whatever consequences he’d get were his own fault.

 

He shoved the glove-full of glass into the trash before picking up the bigger pieces and doing the same.

 

Another handful, another shove into the trash.

 

He ignored the sting as the especially sharp pieces cut into his glove and then his palms.

 

Great, just great. He forcibly took a deep breath.

 

This was fine.

 

Hunter was fine, he could deal with that later.

 

Another handful, another shove.

 

Another handful. Another shove.

 

Soon it was so little that he just needed a dustpan

 

He should’ve just used a pan from the start- he was so stupid.

 

He tried desperately to take another deep breath.

 

It was fine. It didn’t matter. They wouldn’t know how he cleaned it up. They'd even be happy that he hadn’t burdened them with his weakness.

 

He could still make the owl lady proud. She wouldn't be mad. She wouldn’t know.

 

His breathing wasn't working.

 

His lungs stuttered and he just swore under his breath.

 

Not right now.

 

He was fine.

 

He hated when his body did this, it was so unnecessary.

 

He did his best to ignore it.

 

Where was the dustpan? He needed to deal with this first then he could deal with his body not wanting to breathe.

 

He couldn't just abandon what he was doing.

 

He could feel the glass shards dig further into his palm.

 

He winced but didn't stop his search.

 

He throws open cabinet after cabinet.

 

And can't find it.

 

Or the broom but the dustpan is what he needs. That's what's important.

 

He still can’t find it.

 

He feels the blood run down his wrist, his breathing speeds up.

 

He has to prove he’s good.

 

He can't find it.

 

His vision swirls and at last, he just collapses against the counter, legs moving against his chest like a barrier.

 

He was gonna make b- Eda so mad.

 

And he couldn’t blame her.

 

Belos was right.

 

Hunter was a monster who could never do anything right.

 

He gasped for air and buried his head in his knees. 

 

“Sorry I took so long kid, I heard some shattering but I was underneath King and Luz, you alright-“

 

He went rigid and the voice cut off.

 

He prepared for the punishment. Moving his arms to the sides of him stiffly but not looking up.

 

She’d see Hunter broke her plate, her stuff. And she’d see he couldn’t even do the decent thing and properly clean it up and on top of that he’d hurt himself.

 

He made the careful move not to bleed on the floor.

 

She had every right to be mad,

 

Titan, he’d be lucky if she just left him to deal with everything on his own, just turn on her heel and leave- maybe just not let him use the first-aid supplies to clean up the cuts on his palms when he was done with all the stuff he needed to fix. That's what his uncle used to do for a lesser punishment, but it would be a very tame punishment for this disaster.

 

He heard her approach and scrunched his eyes closed further, 

 

So he was not going to be lucky.

 

Okay, that was okay, he was fine, he was used to this, he knew what to do.

 

He just had to do what his un- what the owl lady wanted.

 

And he needed his breathing to quiet down, he would be lucky if she didn’t notice.

 

He was most definitely not known for his luck though, especially today.

 

And then, she was in front of him, at least if the shadow looming over him- darkening his already dark view of his knees, was anything to go by. 

 

and he couldn’t help but tense even more, his shoulders coming up to where his head would be if he weren't so scrunched.

 

Preparing for anything.

 

Suddenly though, the shadow was gone, at least not looming over him as it had before.

 

“Oh, goldie... I’m so sorry I wasn’t here sooner,”

 

And instantly he had to repress the urge to jerk his head up in pure shock- before he reminded himself of course she wanted to have been here sooner that way she could’ve stopped his complete screw-up.

 

Instead, he just took a practiced unnoticeable glance up, just to gauge the anger-to-disappointment ratio.

 

She didn’t actually look mad , not really. She was just sitting across from him, her legs cross-legged, and her one hand placatingly on the floor. 

 

She looked more concerned than anything.

 

But why? he messed up.

 

Hunter kept messing up.

 

“Alright kid,” she started, getting his attention. “I’m gonna be honest, I’m real rusty with this, but we gotta get you breathing, yeah?” The owl lady told him softly.

 

He didn’t acknowledge her.

 

He knew it was disrespectful. And considering everything else it wasn’t smart, even if she wasn’t actually angry at him now it would make her angry. Why was he testing her patience?

 

But she still didn’t yell.

 

Which didn’t make sense.

 

He kept messing up, he kept being awful, he kept not being good, and she kept not being mad!

 

It didn’t make sense.

 

He choked down a frustrated sob as he breathed harshly into his legs.

 

His chest hurt, it felt constricted.

 

He deserved this though, this was all his fault.

 

If he had just looked closer.

 

He could’ve helped, 

 

Why wasn’t she mad?

 

He heard a steady noise and noticed she’d begun counting.

 

Maybe counting till she officially decided he was a lost cause.

 

3.. 2.. 1..

 

And then she just started over,

 

He blinked, that was one theory proved wrong.

 

Oh yeah, she was doing that breathing thing Gus did. 

 

Why was she still helping him?

 

And he was being so ungrateful-

 

She paused, 

 

He held his breath

 

“Kid, can I come closer to you?”

 

He froze, looking up a little before deciding that was the right choice and nodding.

 

She offered a small smile before slowly and carefully crawling forward- attentively avoiding the pile of tiny shards of glass- and easily sliding over to sit next to him against the counter, but still giving him space.

 

And Hunter just waited with bated breath to see what her plan was.

 

“Okay, now. Again kid, don't feel pressured to agree, you won't be punished if you say no. understand?” she waited till he gave a small- almost unnoticeable nod before continuing “okay then, alright kid. May I hold your hand?” Eda paused before explaining “It might help ground you,” 

 

And even as she asked she didn't make any move towards him.

 

And Hunter knew it could be a trick, he’d dealt with plenty of those.

 

But the more he thought about it, he didn’t think Eda had ever tricked him before.

 

He still didn't know why she wanted to help, but, all the same, after an initial hesitation, and trying to remember which hand was covered in blood and shards of glass, he nodded.

 

And slowly and carefully the owl lady offered her hand, and he took it.

 

And he still couldn’t breathe. Everything still hurt and ached and the tears he didn’t think he’d noticed before were still escaping his eyes- like a petulant child-

 

But suddenly he held onto her lone hand like a lifeline, holding it hard enough to probably leave a bruise.

 

The owl lady just let out a soft chuckle and smiled before starting to recite the breathing thing again, this time decidedly without the movement of her hand.

 

She still didn’t yell at him.

 

And he was almost amazed by that.

 

He was acting like an immature child. Belos would have been furious, why wouldn’t the owl lady?

 

And suddenly guilt filled him, resting in the pit of his stomach and settling deep into his bones.

 

Now, not only was he being childish, he was being ungrateful too, and comparing Miss Eda to Belos.

 

She was nothing like him.

 

Even when they weren’t on the same side she’d never done half the things Belos did.

 

And yet he still missed Belos.

 

The reminder shot through him with an unpleasant shock.

 

And yet he still missed Belos.

 

And- and the owl lady didn’t know, and he was taking advantage of her kindness and she would be so mad- or disappointed.

 

He didn’t know which one would be worse.

 

She’d been so good to him, she’d not even once so much as threatened him since he’d started staying there!

 

And yet Hunter still missed Belos.

 

The person who had, who'd threatened him and delivered on those threats numerous times.

 

The one who’d done so many awful things.

 

And he knew about those awful things, he had felt those awful things for days and weeks following the day of unity, everytime he so much as looked at his arm he remembered those awful things. The coven sigil, and the painful lightning-shaped scars shooting up his arm because of it.

 

Sometimes he still felt it, the phantom sensations of the electric pain traveling up his veins just like they did on the day of unity.

 

He knew about it all, and yet he was still betraying them.

 

He pulled away suddenly from the owl lady, letting her hand go limp and curling into himself instead,

 

He was an awful person for taking advantage of the kindness- he needed to just get over it. Then clean everything up and then he’d- he’d figure something out.

 

That had always worked for him before! 

 

And he didn't want to bother the owl lady.

 

Unluckily for him, she didn’t seem to get the memo. Frowning so hard he could feel it without even looking.

 

Why couldn't she just go away? Leave him to deal with it alone, like Belos used to.

 

And therein lay the many problems he refused to acknowledge.

 

She wasn’t Belos, she wasn’t anything even like Belos.

 

So, after giving him a minute she continued.

 

“Sunshine, Goldilocks. I know, I know. I t’s really hard, but kid, I can't help if I don’t know what’s going on,” she tried before pausing.

 

And he suddenly felt very much in trouble, but he just couldn’t share everything boiling inside him, not right now, not sitting on the floor of the kitchen literally directly beside his mistakes. 

 

But, she didn't even mention the shards of glass, and she didn't push. Instead, pausing, simply breathing, before going “actually, how about we talk about something else?”

 

He made a noise suitable for his confusion but she didn’t explain any.

 

“What about flapjack? That’s your little guy's name right?” Eda asked, 

 

And he took a second before looking at her and nodding, even though he was pretty sure she already very much knew.

 

But still, The owl lady smiled before continuing “glad I got that right! He’s a cute little bugger isn’t he?” Hunter nodded hesitantly “and I swear he absolutely adores you, whenever you're not around for one reason or another he’ll just deflate” she chuckled, a little bittersweetly.

 

“I love him too!” Hunter rushed out immediately, afraid if he didn’t, it would come into question.

 

She just smiled warmly, “you really do, you two have such a bond, you brats are ..usually practically joined at the hip! Little trouble makers,” she laughed again, 

 

and Hunter very particularly noticed the way she said ‘usually’ but didn’t mention it, she was right. 

 

“Is there anything you two little trouble makers have done recently?” The owl lady asked.

 

And he saw it for the very clear escape it was, an invitation to not talk about it, an invitation to talk about something else, anything else. And he tried not to show just how relieved he was for it.

 

he took a breath, carefully considering his words “well… um, flapjack’s recently started trying to preen hooty,”

 

“Slightly horrifying! Next,” she clicked her tongue, before grinning, gold fang sticking out characteristically.

 

He blinked “uh, he’s been trying to steal the flapjacks every time you’ve made them ever since he learned what they were called?” he supplied tentatively, before smiling a little down at himself at the memory.

 

Eda made a motion to keep going in his peripheral vision and he did so.

 

“Oh When we were staying at hexside he started doing this really cute- don’t tell him I said that- thing, where he’d just use my hair as a nest and fall asleep, he still does it sometimes but it started then!” He smiled brightly

 

Hunter didn’t need to even look in his peripheral vision this time to keep going.

 

“Also Luz made them a little hat! He hated it!” He grinned.

 

“Oh! And again when we were in hexside he kept finding every little spot to hide! He especially liked my cloaks- he would always steal them! He really liked the blue one but I think his favorite was probably the golden guard one. Back at the castle I remember one time when I actually got a picture, I uh.. don’t have my scroll anymore from when I left, but I sent it to Willow and I’m pretty sure if I asked she could send it back to me!” He lit up at the realization.

 

“Oh! and I remember there was this one time a little after he first chose me, when we were on a mission on the knee and he did this really cute thing where he just buried himself into my cloak hood between my neck because they were cold!” Hunter laughed

 

“Also! he would just nest on any paperwork he could find and it was actually really annoying because I had to read it over and sign it so I could file it before I got in trouble, but it was almost always far too endearing to move him!” he spoke, using his hands exuberantly for emphasis.

 

And she was just smiling, a whole lot more sadly than Hunter was expecting. Who would be sad about flapjack stories? 

 

Still, though, she was smiling, and so much more genuinely in that single moment than he thinks Belos had ever, let alone at him.

 

And she was still being so nice even when he's messed up so much.

 

And suddenly guilt consumes him in an instant.

 

And he can barely even attempt to stop himself before emotions run high and the guilt is pouring out.

 

I’m sorry- I’m so sorry miss Eda-” The words rush out of his mouth and suddenly he remembers it’s not a real apology unless he admits what he’s done wrong.

 

and she deserves a real apology.

 

“Kid- what?-“

 

“I’m sorry you had to deal with me,” he looked away from her, breathing suddenly not good again, -“ I’m sorry I keep messing up- I tried to be good- I really did and I messed up again- I ruined your dish and couldn’t clean up my own mess and then you had to deal with me-“

 

“Hunter- it’s okay- kid, a broken plate is normal, Luz broke like five within the first week of her living here! you don’t have to be sorry-“ 

 

He just shook his head stubbornly, she didn’t understand, and a part of him almost didn’t want to make her understand, but that was a selfish part, an awful part,

 

A self-preserving part.

 

“No!” He says, much louder than he should’ve, Whirling his head around to look at her.

 

“You don’t understand,” he tried again, much quieter “I’m sorry,” he whispers, 

 

Eda just gave him a sad look.

 

“I've tried, I’ve tried so much, I promise! to be good, and to not be bad- and I thought I was doing well, but I’m not. I'm not Miss. Clawthorne” he admits, quietly “I tried, I don’t want to be bad”

 

“..kid, what makes you- in your words- what makes you think you're bad?” The owl lady asked, slowly, carefully.

 

Hunter took a careful deep breath, Ms. Eda shouldn’t have to deal with his whooping gasps.

 

“…you remember when we talked about um, Belos..?” He started hesitantly, 

 

She nodded before pausing, “kid that was like a month ago!”

 

He visibly deflated even more into himself, and there was a beat before she just took a breath.

 

“Kid, just how long has this been haunting you?” Eda asked softly.

 

Hunter looked down nervously. Suddenly longing to have both of his hands free to fiddle with. Before considering his next words.

 

“I know Belos is a bad person,” he clarified, just in case, because she had to know that he knew that. “he did horrible things, he tried to kill everyone- titan- he tried to kill me, multiple times. I know that,” 

 

“He was a bad person, he hurt me and an uncountable amount of others”

 

“And he’s gone now, and everyone is so relieved- and I am too, but I-“

 

Hunter bit the inside of his cheek, thinking of a way to phrase it.

 

“He hurt me, he was never even good to me,”

 

“But… I don’t hate him, not like everyone else does, and-“

 

He turned suddenly, moving his head to look the older witch in the eyes,

 

And her expression was so clearly sad, that it made him hesitate again for a second.

 

Still, he continued.

 

“Ms. Eda- I miss him,” he finally admitted.

 

A month's over-due sob tore itself out of his chest and he wrapped his arms around his stomach tightly, the dried blood causing an unpleasant sensation that sent shivers up his spine.

 

“Oh, Hunter..” 

 

He sniffled pathetically.

 

Here it comes

 

“I definitely should’ve thought what I was saying through just a little more, baby it’s expected that you’d miss him,” she told him softly.

 

Not what he was expecting.

 

He blinked the wet out of his eyes, “what- what do you mean?”

 

She sighed, but somehow not in an exasperated way.

 

“kid, he was your uncle, all of your life he was your only family, you loved him, and that’s okay, he was your only option as a support system for so long, even when he hurt you, he was your uncle,”

 

The owl lady took another breath, thinking.

 

“Just because Belos was a bad person doesn’t mean you can just flip a switch and hate him, you need time. And you’re allowed to mourn and grieve for him, even despite all he did. In fact, it’s normal for abuse victims to still care for, and miss their abusers,”

 

She gave him another melancholic look,

 

“Baby, he was your guardian. Your family, no matter how much he hurt you, he raised you. You're not bad for missing him, especially when everything is still so fresh. And you may hate him eventually, or you may never be able to hate him. But you're still just a kid, you're only sixteen, and that’s okay.”

 

He tightened his arms, squeezing a little painfully.

 

“But I want to hate him- I should hate him!”

 

Eda just tsk-ed and he froze for a second before she spoke “again, sweetheart, eventually you may be able to, but, also again, you're a kid, you're so young, and it’s okay and expected that you don’t, not right now ” 

 

Hunter wondered if he looked as lost as he suddenly felt.

 

He bit his cheek, settling his face securely into his knees as his stomach swam uneasily and as he barely repressed another sob as the kitchen drifted into a suffocating and loud silence, even exempt from his rackety tears.

 

The keyword there, however, was barely. As hardly two minutes passed before he was overcome with emotion again and the sob wracked his body, with more following.

 

And soon he was a sobbing, hiccuping mess.

 

He kept trying to rub his eyes to rid himself of the tears but more just kept coming.

 

He heard a sympathetic noise.

 

“Kiddo, do you want a hug?”

 

He didn't even respond, instead just barreling blindly into where he heard her voice come from.

 

She let out a small ‘oof’ before huffing a small chuckle and wrapping her arms around him, Hunter burying his face into her neck in return, and just crying.

 

It almost hurt, the big whooping gasps forcing their way out as he tried desperately to get any air in, and as his lungs rejected it every time.

 

And his face did hurt, his eyes and his nose, both red and swollen and aching as they got more so.

 

And his hand-

 

Everything hurt, and Eda was there, holding him like he was sure a mom would.

 

He felt like a child, even though he wasn’t- he was a teen prodigy, and far too old for this. He should be above all of this.

 

But every time she called him a kid, she never said it like it was a bad thing, he simply was.

 

and that was okay.

 

A particularly harsh sob shook him and all the air exited his lungs before coming back in frantic hiccups and gulps. Eda used her one hand to carefully rub circles in his back, just being there for him.

 

“You should hate me,” he told her, a little desperately.

 

Eda didn’t stop rubbing circles, just offering a small ‘mm?’ 

 

“Even- even if I’m not a bad person-“ 

 

“you aren’t goldie,”

 

“Even if I’m not- I still made a big mess off something you said weeks ago- you shouldn’t have to deal with this-“

 

The older witch simply sighed and he almost thought she was going to agree with him, push him onto the ground, and leave. But instead she simply adjusted them both to be a bit more comfortable and took a breath before putting on a small comforting smile.

 

“Kid, I knew perfectly well what I’d be dealing with when I let you stay with me, you're a child soldier whose only guardian failed you. I wasn't expecting you to have no problems,” she said as nicely as she could.

 

 “Sweetheart, I was fully expecting this breakdown, took longer than I thought it would, I'll admit, but I expected it. And I knew I would be there for you through it,”

 

“I knew you’d have problems hun, I knew you’d have issues, and I don’t expect you to fully trust me with those issues. we go at your pace,”

 

but when I can- I will be there for you, no questions asked.”

 

Hunter wasn’t sobbing anymore but he was definitely crying, really hard.

 

He didn’t think Belos has ever even offered anything close to that.

 

The owl lady, the one who’d been a wanted criminal for like, twenty years, was nicer than someone who had been the supposed emperor.

 

He almost wanted to laugh at the pure irony.

 

But his head felt fuzzy, probably from the dehydration, so instead, he simply wrapped his arms around the owl lady’s neck-

 

Or one of them, the other was caught gently by said owl lady, Wincing in sympathy immediately “oh sweetheart, are you hurt?”

 

He nodded, even though he knew that was probably rhetorical.

 

She winced again, “oh kid, I’m sorry. Why don't we patch you up? and then we can watch a bunch of dumb human shows and eat a bunch of eye-scream until Luz and King see us and demand we share?”

 

That sounded.. nice, 

 

His head hurt, and he was so tired, so he simply offered a small nod against her chest and tried not to let his eyes drift close for too long at a time.

 

But maybe he’d not been too good at that as soon he feels himself being carried, and then his hand being patched up.

 

And then he’s on the couch, sinking into it just a little against where he was pretty sure the owl lady sat. And he can’t hear any of the alleged shows, but he doesn’t open his eyes to look for it.

 

Instead, he just settled further into the owl lady’s side, to a point he’d probably be super embarrassed about by tomorrow. But why worry about tomorrow when today he was tired and safe?

 

He suddenly heard careful chirps and trills nearby, and he tried to open his mouth to respond, but he just couldn't, his brain and mouth just not working.

 

Thankfully though, he heard someone else reply in his stead.

 

“Don’t worry, he’ll be okay now.” Eda reassured

 

And it got quiet for a minute, Hunter could tell that much, before a couple more chirps filled the air, these ones more hushed and muted to his exhausted brain, he could only barely make it out.

 

Good, good, my boy, safe, all okay. 

 

Before he felt his bird settle into his hair.

 

And he didn't think he’d ever felt more loved than that single moment as he finally fell asleep.

 

This time, unburdened by the thoughts and nightmares that had been plaguing him for weeks.

 

This time, surrounded by two of the people he knew genuinely loved him.

Notes:

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