Work Text:
1 Maya Fey may not channel the spirit of Bob Ross to “Send good vibes.” Let the man rest maya
2 Maya Fey is to never be allowed the aux on a car trip.
3 Just because they messed up your burger does not mean we can arrest them.
4 Maya fey and Simon Blackquill are not to interact without the presence of a responsible administrator
Klavier Gavin is not a responsible administrator
Nor is Kay Faraday
Or Athena Cykes
In fact, let's just keep the two separated period.
5: There is no Wright Anything Agency Inquisition.
6: Maya Fey is not allowed to advertise spirit channeling on Any of the following: Tumblr, Fiver, Facebook, Craigslist
TIKTOK LIVE IS ALSO NOT ALLOWED
7: The Wright anything agency motto is none of the following
We defend maya fey
Will it blend
Wrights adopted adolescents
Lesbian and Gays united
We’re tired, we’re uncomfortable, and we want to go home!
Can it fuck me?
Blood makes the grass grow. Kill kill kill
Fuck war, death, Pestilence and famine. We got Franziska, Trucy, Phoenix, and Maya
Law for the law goddess
We're all assholes
Wright Adoption Agency
We got the adoption papers!
Wright and his orphans
8: Maya fey is not allowed to ride on a lawnmower
9: Maya can't bargain for people's souls
10:Maya fey is not a Necromancer, nor can she teach others how to raise the dead.
11: Maya must be under adult supervision 24/7
12 : Maya fey may not channel any of the following
Rasputin
Alexander Hamilton
Napoleon
Jfk
Steve Irwin
The ghost of Christmas past
The Ghost of Christmas present
The ghost of Christmas future
Charles Dickens
Any popes
Any anti-popes
Anyone's mother
Anyone's father
Any deceased family member
Adam
Danny devtio
Any memes
Any former President of the United States
Any European dictator
Any South American dictator
Any Central- any dictator period.
Jesus
Ponce Pilate
ANYONE FROM THE BIBLE
Buddha
ANY RELIGIOUS FIGURE NO MATTER THE RELIGION
Bobby Henderson, the creator of pastafarianism is still alive
13: Maya’s allowance is not allowed to go above 15 dollars per month
She is not allowed to have 2 allowances at once following the lead Llama incident
14: Not allowed to recreated "Dumb Ways to Die." With channeled spirits. Especially if that's how they actually died.
15: Maya is never allowed in the kitchen
16: Maya Fey and Trucy Wright are not allowed in the same room for more than 10 minutes
Maya Fey and Trucy Wright are not allowed in the same room ever.
17: Maya Fey is not allowed to attempt to channel any dead fictional characters under the pretense that they “actually existed” and she can “channel them as proof”, including:
The Steel Samurai
The Blue Badger
Anything in the Blue Badger Family
Herlock Sholmes
18: Maya Fey is not allowed to rub the existence of Herlock Sholmes in anyone’s face.
19: Maya Fey is not allowed to take the credit for any specific Lawyer and Any specific Prosecutor finally confessing their repressed crushes and going out.
None of the Wright Anything Agency employees will vague type their boss.
20: While yes Almost Christmas means it's not Christmas, This doesn't allow Maya to destroy Any Christmas decorations she sees in November.
However, after Christmas is allowed.
21: Maya is NEVER Allowed to give pearl coffee
22: No, Maya does not formally work for the Wright Anything Agency. Especially not as the "Food Czar". That is not a real position.
23: Maya cannot send anyone to "Horny Jail." Even if there is a sign on a closet that says so.
24: Maya is not "Herlock Sholmes 2" nor can she claim "that sherlock holmes is real".
25: Maya fey is not allowed to channel the spirits of lost stuffed animals
26: Maya fey shall not hide in the giant bear to do "recon," nor should "I'm doing recon" be taken as a valid excuse. Ever.
27: No matter how many members of royalty she channels, Maya is not and will never be "The queen of the lawyers."
28. Maya Fey is not allowed at the petting farm without a responsible chaperone
Kay Faraday is not a responsible chaperone
Klavier Gavin is not a responsible chaperone
Athena Cykes is not a responsible chaperone
Phoenix Wright needs a responsible chaperone in order to serve as a responsible chaperone.
29: Maya is not allowed to put people in any closet, for relationship or otherwise.
30: Maya is not allowed to channel spirits for any of the following reasons
Bets
Dares
Challenges
Birthday parties
Funerals (what the fuck maya?)
31: Maya is not allowed to start Plumed Punisher discourse, specially not in the presence of Miles Edgeworth
32: Maya is not allowed to start steel samurai discourses with Nahyuta
33: Maya is not allowed to write magisteel fanfic based on nick and miles
34: Maya is not allowed to write plumedsteel fanfic based on nahyuta and simon
35: maya fey is not allowed to discuss any superhero or vigilante show with princess Rayfa
She should not hang out with princess rayfa without someone responsable in the room
Kay faraday cannot be that person
Neither can be klavier gavin
Neither can be athena cykes
NEITHER CAN BE MILES EDGEWORTH (SEE RULE 31 )
While Ema Skye can usually be considered 'someone responsable', she cannot be counted on to surpervise maya and princess rayfa
36: maya fey is not allowed to make fun of the signal samurai or the rainbow samurai in the presence of phoenix wright
37: Not allowed to summon peoples ancestors to prove "Ancestral gays"
38: Cannot channel Mia to file her taxes
39: Maya Fey is banned from participating in musical chairs at parties, regardless of who else is participating.
40: Maya Fey is not allowed to channel anyone on the pretense of a "vibe check"
41: Under no circumstances is Maya EVER allowed to channel Herlock Sholmes.
42: Maya is not an scp, her leaving khurin village does not count as a containment breach