Chapter Text
BANG BANG BANG!
“WAKE UP!” A clearly annoyed voice rang through the house, trailing behind the clanging of two baking sheets.
Jin pulled open Hobi’s door. The young man was sitting up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Do you have class today?”
“Mmm, no,” he managed between his yawns, “but I do have an intern shift today for Happy Smiles Sunshine Fa—”
Jin pretty much stopped listening at that point. It didn’t make a difference because the dentist’s office was across the damn street from the community college anyway.
Next was Jimin.
“You better be up for the first—” Jin stopped dead in his tracks. It wasn’t the sight of his clearly naked son that stopped him. It was the also naked teen girl tangled up in the sheets with him.
“Hi, dad,” Jimin said languidly, opening one eye to look at him.
“What the fuck is happening here.”
“Well… fuck happened.”
“Okay, I don’t have time for this. We’re leaving in 10, get dressed.”
“Ah, that’s alright, John can drive us.”
“Who—nope. No time.” Jin continued down the hall to Taehyung’s room.
When he was about a foot away from the door, he felt an insane radiating heat. He grabbed the doorhandle but immediately let go. He swore the sweat on his palm vaporized. Yeah, no. Jin decided it wasn’t worth it.
He continued on to his youngest’s room.
“Jungkook…” Jin was pleasantly surprised to see the boy sitting, fully dressed and straight as a board in his chair. “You’re up.”
‘Uhhhh… ummmm—yeahhhh, uhhhh…”
Jungkook was a nervous, stammering mess as per usual. Jin did notice some very dark bags beneath his son’s eyes. Guess he hadn’t slept. Oh well, not his problem!
Finally, he arrived at that good-for-nothing Yoongi’s room. He opened the door of the rank, dark room and the bundle under the sheets recoiled away from the light.
“GET UP!” Jin said, banging the baking sheets a few more times for good measure.
“I fucking hate your guts,” his son replied. “I don’t have school today. Or anything else.”
“I know,” Jin smirked, flipping on the light switch in the room.
He banged the baking sheets one last time, making sure to hit them extra loudly in Yoongi’s direction. “Breakfast time, kids!” he yelled as he left for the kitchen.
Jin walked down and got ready to cook. This was the only time in the day he could say he was even remotely close to happy. He returned the baking sheets to the left part of the counter where they normally sat – it’s not like he really baked anything anyway – and got out his good non-stick frying pan. He put it atop the stove and coaxed the gas flame to high. While the pan heated, he retrieved eggs from the fridge. Grade AA extra large, just how he liked it. He cracked one in and savored the sizzle, immediately reducing the heat to medium-low.
He could hear the kids shuffling downstairs behind him. God, such nuisances. He could hear Hobi talking excitedly about his dumb internship. Jungkook was probably hanging off his every word, but he only heard Taehyung’s disinterested grunts. In fact, he even thought he heard Yoongi whine in annoyance at Hobi’s inexhaustible positivity.
“Dad! What are we having for breakfast?” Hobi chirped as he pulled out a chair at the dining room table.
Jin turned around, pan and plate in hand. “No clue. I’m having an egg.”
He couldn’t deny it; he felt a bit of joy seeing the excitement drain from Hobi’s face and Yoongi slam his head down in annoyance. Jungkook looked stunned, but then again, he always looked that way. Taehyung was only interested in whatever crypto bullshit he was following on his phone.
“If you want food, figure it out yourself.” Jin scoffed.
Right then, Jimin made an appearance. He was fully dressed, looking none the worse for wear given his state 5 minutes ago, and followed by a man in his 40s.
“John’s gonna take me to school; I’ll see you later, Dad,” Jimin said. Without missing a beat, he sashayed out the front door with the stranger.
“Who the fuck is John?” Yoongi slurred into the table.
“Jimin’s hookup.” Taehyung droned, slack-jawed and not looking away from his phone.
“Yeah but—”
“Time to go!” Jin had finished his egg and was uninterested in taking any more dumb questions from his least favorite offspring. In the back of his mind he knew he should probably ask about the whereabouts of the girl he saw in Jimin’s room earlier, but honestly he didn’t care.
“Hey, where’s the geezer?”
Jin could not believe Yoongi was still breathing.
“I’m sure your lovely, hardworking , father is already on the clock,” Jin snapped, “something you could consider doing for once in your life.”
“You know, I wrote just the verse for this situation…”
The moment Yoongi began to sway to an invisible beat* the kitchen was cleared.
-
After dropping off the teens at their high school and Hobi at that stupid dentist’s, Jin decided it was a good time to go the grocery store. After all, he had to eat. His time in the store was uneventful, but as he left, there seemed to be some sort of panhandler asking for money outside the store. It had been a pleasant few hours without his brood; he figured he could maybe even drop a few pennies to the poor waif. As he drew near, however, he saw a sight that would ruin his life forever.
It was his son.
Yoongi.
The 22-year-old stood there in a “distressed” crew neck sweater doing some of his god-awful “rapping”. A plastic tupperware, clearly stolen from their kitchen, was sitting completely empty in front of him.
“Yoongi. What the fuck.”
“Unpressed like juiceros, I get mad hose, huh? Dad?”
“ What do you fucking think you’re fucking doing !?”
“Stop it! You told me to get a job! Even when I forget to wipe, I still lay down mad pipe.”
“You. Are. Disgracing. Our. FAMILY.”
“Like we had any grace before this.” Yoongi scoffed, sassily .
“What is wrong with those, those lines ?! They make no sense!”
Yoongi rolled his eyes. “You’re just too old to understand.”
“And what do you mean you forget to wipe ?”
“Look, it’s easy to forget.” Yoongi looked a little sheepish.
“No, it’s NOT easy to forget! That’s gross as fuck!”
“Dad! Stop it!”
“I will not ‘stop it’! You are coming home RIGHT NOW, young man! Wait. No. Walk. You are not sitting in the car with that dirty ass.”
Neither noticed the large crowd that had gathered around them.
-
Namjoon woke up at his desk. Wow, he hadn’t slept that well in a long—oh, crap. He had forgotten to go home on Friday.