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The moonlight crests over the massive pine trees that litter the serene central Oregon woodlands, illuminating the Mystery Shack in a tinted white light, like a faint spotlight on a baron stage. The tourists have packed up their RVs and scattered back to their homes across the country, including the two greatest little tourists who have forever made their mark on not just the shack, but the whole of Gravity Falls.
It’s a bitter cold October night, yet Ford insisted that Stan doesn’t light a fire in the mantle, not wanting to leave any trace of ash, or worse yet, embers, before they depart on their lifelong-awaited journey out to sea.
Ford’s spent the past three hours triple checking the list of provisions that they’ll need for their cross-country road trip. Their plan is to drive across the I-90 for as long as possible before needing to divert. Eventually they’ll arrive at a small coastal town in central Maine where they’ll then pick up their newly built Stan O’ War II for her maiden voyage.
Meanwhile, Stan has spent the past three hours wrapping himself in every blanket he can scrounge up from all corners and levels of the house to keep himself warm, only slightly in spite of Ford’s request for no final night fireplace.
Ford snaps the last suitcase shut, “Alright, Stanley, are you ready to begin loading the car?”
Stan turns himself over on the couch facing the elder twin who has three suitcases in hand ready to make a mad dash to the front door, “Oh come on, Sixer, I just got warm!”
“If you weren’t able to warm yourself up over the last three hours, I sincerely doubt that you happened to acclimate yourself at the exact moment I finished packing up the last of our supplies.”
“I’m sorry if it’s colder than the North Pole in here,” Stan begrudgingly unwraps the first blanket from his cocoon.
“What happened to ‘Mr. Polar Bear’ from last week, huh?”
“Usually ‘Mr. Polar Bear’ has a fire to keep him warm.”
“Unfortunately we can’t light any fires aboard the ship.”
“Not with that attitude,” more layers peel off from Stan’s body. He shivers as the first signs of his body are exposed.
“Or should I say fortunately…”
Stan tosses the last of the blankets on the floor, where a stack now sits knee-high, “Fortunately, ‘Mr. Polar Bear’ has a mate he can snuggle up with to keep him warm, huh?” Stan inches closer and closer to Ford, “Mr. and Mr. Polar Bear? I like the sound of that, don’t you?” Stan throws his arms around Ford which causes the luggage to fly out of his hands and crash against the hardwood floor, springing the now unsealed cases open.
“Stanley, look what you did…”
“Wow, talk about tightly packed, huh? Hey Fordsie, you know what else is gonna be tightly packed?”
“Stan, I swear to God…” Ford drops to his knees and scrambles to shove the loose articles of clothing in his black leather suitcase.
Stan walks over to another black suitcase behind Ford and picks up after his mess, finding a black cassette tape. “Hey Sixer, what’s this you got here?”
Ford’s eyes widen seeing the tape in Stan’s hand, “Stanley, give me that tape!” He crawls over and swipes the cassette from his brother. “Fuck…”
“Hey, come on, what’s the matter?”
“You weren’t supposed to see this until we got to Maine,” Ford whispers dejectedly. “I’ve spoiled the surprise…God damn it, why did I think it would—?”
“Hey, hey, it’s alright! If it makes you feel any better I didn’t read what’s written on it,” Stan grunts as he elbows the suitcase to hold the contents inside before snapping it closed.
Ford gives up on the suitcase he worked so hard on, sitting on the ledge of the stairs that lead down into the living room, “I just wanted something to go right for once…”
Stan joins him on the ledge and wraps his arm around him, “It’s okay, Fordsie…” he massages his hand against Ford’s arm, tracing his thumb up and down.
“I know, it’s just…I wanted to thank you for…for everything.”
“You’ve already thanked me a million times,” Stan releases his hold on Ford and clasps his hands together in his lap, “If anything, I should apologize for not helping you pack. You’ve done so much of the work, and what have I done? I’ve just laid around and bitched the whole time.”
“You saved the world from utter desolation…”
“Yeah, but what have I done for you lately?” Stan nudges Ford’s arm with his elbow, “I mean, other than last night.”
“Stanley…” Ford can’t help but grin as he lifts his glasses to wipe a tear from his eye. “Then, consider this a thank you gift for last night.” He hands the cassette tape to Stan, “Come on, take a look. I think you’ll recognize some of these songs.”
Stan takes the offer and adjusts his glasses. He reads the track listing aloud:
Side A:
Sail On, Sailor - Beach Boys
Hitch a Ride - Boston
Proud Mary - CCR
Dreamboat Annie - Heart
Come Sail Away - Styx
Thunder Island - Jay Ferguson
Pacific Ocean Blues - Dennis Wilson
Water Song - Hot Tuna
He sets the tape on his lap, “I think I’m sensing a theme here. Are all these songs about boats?”
“Yes, well, more like sailing in general. After all, we are about to set sail on our own Arctic expedition.” Ford nudges Stan with his elbow in return. His face heats up as his heart thumps faster in anticipation of the reveal for what awaits Stan on the other side, “Turn the tape over, you haven’t seen side B yet.”
Stan once more reads the track list aloud:
Side B:
An Old Fashioned Love Song - Three Dog Night
Thank You - Led Zeppelin
Maybe I’m Amazed - Paul McCartney
Time in a Bottle - Jim Croce
More Than a Feeling - Boston
Night Moves - Bob Seger
Feel like Makin’ Love - Bad Co.
Stan takes a pause after the last song, “You’re not serious about the last one…right?”
Ford twirls the silvery locks flowing from the back of his head, “I don’t know. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. I guess there’s only one way to find out, Mr. Polar Bear…” Ford leans over, nestles the palm of his hand against Stan’s stately chin, and plants a warm kiss on his brother’s ice-cold lips.
Stan reads the track list of side B once again, making sure he read through it correctly, “Ford…these songs…How did you…?”
“Mabel suggested the idea.”
Stan was reaffirmed once again that Mabel is the world’s greatest grand-niece.
“I asked her for some ideas about how the youth today offers signs of affection for someone and she informed me that kids today make online “playlists” for each other using their musical devices.”
“Oh yeah, I think she showed me some of them. Has she told you exactly how many boys she had crushes on over the summer?”
“Too many for me to keep track of, that’s for sure. I’m not sure how you managed.” Ford shakes off their sidetracked conversation and moves to get back on topic. “Anyway, I came across some blank cassette tapes. When we were recovering your memories, remember how I played songs from your CD collection, filled with albums we listened to in high school? I made note of which songs in particular you reacted to more positively.”
Stan’s cheeks warm, “I certainly was infatuated with a certain someone back in those days; it made listening to love songs that much more special.” Stan’s hand cradles Ford’s cheek and pulls him closer once more. His lips purse and they dive in for another kiss, this time their lips match warmth.
“Stan…” Ford breaks from their kiss, “we should pack the car…” he traces his finger across Stan’s shirt along his sternum.
“Yeah, I certainly don’t wanna do it before we leave in the morning.”
Ford pokes Stan, “That’s not what I meant…exactly…”
Stan’s eyes light up, “Oh, I see what you’re getting at.” They get to their feet and brush themselves. Stan puts the cassette tape in his front pocket, “The faster we get the car loaded, the faster I can load you up…” he gives Ford’s ass a playful smack.
“That better be a promise, Mr. Polar Bear.”
“Consider it a thank you gift for the mixtape,” he tugs on Ford’s sweater, pulling him in for one last kiss.
“We should exchange thank you gifts more often…” their lips meet.