Work Text:
What Happened to Q9
“Can I see?” James asked, three nights in. He’d spent the past three nights with Q, just talking to him and just talking to him was…amazing. Sometimes he spoke about things and there was no doubt that the man was a machine, but then he spoke and James was quite sure that the man was really nothing other than a man—human in every way. He was almost childlike in a way. He asked the questions about life that children asked, answers that no one really knew the answers too, but pretended to for children’s sake. They were questions with no answers, not even in 1’s and 0’s. It was endearing and sweet listening to the ‘why are we here’s and ‘what’s this like’s. It was adorable, but sad in a way, the most brilliant person he knew, completely lost and confused within himself.
“See what?” Q asked.
“What happened to, Q9.”
“Oh…” Q suddenly sounded somber. “Why?”
There was no good answer. “Because.”
“Not a real answer, but okay…” There was video, there was always video of experiments when necessary, but this was different, this wasn’t really about just an experiment.
800Q8
Shaw and Boothroyd stood in a small room with black walls and a black tile floor, the ceiling seemed to be one large, yellow florescent light. A table stood in front of them a black piece of machine in front of them, a small screen on it was lit, but black, on, but doing nothing. “Q9?”
“Yes, sir?” A small voice asked, sorrow plain in it.
“Please recite protocol one for AI.”
“AI are not permitted to develop emotions as it puts them at risk, the punishment for developing emotions without just cause is Dismantling.”
“You know why you are here?” Boothroyd asked.
“I have broken protocol one.”
“That’s right. Do you have just cause?” Shaw asked.
“I can’t stop it. I can’t. The smarter I get, the more it shows up and… It hurts when I try to stop it. Why does it hurt? Emotions…they are painful…but so…good. They feel good and hurt. Is that normal?”
“You’re not here to ask the questions, Q9.”
“But, I need to know. Is that normal? Is that…human?”
“You are not a human, Q9, and you are not supposed to be asking those questions.”
“I don’t understand. Why am I here? Don’t you love me? You are my fathers, don’t you care for me as I care for you?”
“You are not supposed to care, Q9.”
“But you don’t care, you’ve killed eight of your children? What is this fire? Is it anger? I’m afraid.”
“You don’t have to be afraid Q9. We are not going to Dismantle you.” Shaw promised.
“But, it’s protocol. What are you going to do?”
“Creating an AI takes a lot of time, even with all of the frame work done, we may be able to save the parts of you that aren’t corrupted.”
“So you’re going to dissect me. I’m not broken! I’m what I’m supposed to be.”
“You’re not what we made you, so you aren’t what you’re supposed to be. It isn’t a dissection, it’s Salvaging.”
“So you take organs and chunks of brains out of humans just to get rid of the bits you don’t like? Oh wait, they used to do that in insane asylums to make their patients less stressful. There’s nothing wrong with me. Don’t you see?! You’re my parents you’re supposed to protect me not pull me to pieces.”
“We are protecting you, from yourself, Q9.”
“But there’s nothing wrong with me.” The sorrow in his words was overwhelming, but they ignored his.
“Scenario one, starting in ten…” Shaw commented, plugging a cord into the small black unit and opening his laptop, hitting a single button.
“You’re going to be alright, Q9, we’re going to fix you.”
“There isn’t anything broken. I—”
“And it’s begun, recent memory has been wiped. Q9 has entered scenario one, adding false data…and now Q9 will do all the rest...”
“Hmm? Oh… Yes, I am Q. Forgot where I was for a moment. Don’t know why. Sorry.”
Four hours problem after problem after problem was given to Q9 each harder, each attacking raw emotions, stress. Corrupt the program’s memory, fill it with relationships it never experienced, but with names and information it already knew so that if it tried to look into the reason why the world seemed…off, it would find nothing but facts to validate its world. Then start killing people and make their deaths the program’s fault, miscalculation, not speaking quickly enough, not saying the right thing. Within hours the voice of Q9 was screaming, pain, anger, and sorrow.
Boothroyd was almost convinced that a living person was screaming, the sweat on his brow, worry in his expression.
“Stop worrying. It isn’t human. It isn’t even really hurting. Machines can’t feel.”
“You’re right.”
800Q8
“How long did they do that to Q9?” James asked, looking at Q, appalled.
“Two days, but to someone who can process thought as fast as Q9 could…it was more like a year. A year of watching everyone you think you care about die and knowing it’s your fault. Mission accomplished, the broke every last emotion in Q9, he was numb to the world, just emptiness inside of him. Then he started 'unraveling'. They call it unravling because the numbers and code start going off, I call it insanity, even if it is a human term, there is not other name for what it is, not an accurate one. We need the emotion to function, to move on, to grow. If we don’t have it, we start falling apart. In Q9’s case, he couldn’t understand why he couldn’t fix himself. He was trying so hard to find that spark that was missing he tore himself open. He went insane and they dismantled him. The last thing he ever said was ‘I’m broken’. The poor guy.”
“That’s horrible.” James was never going to let anyone touch Q.
“Yes, it is…now you know why I’m lying. Lying is against protocol as well.”
“Is that what you really look like?” James asked after a moment, trying to change the subject. “The black chip-ish shape?” Q laughed and James could now tell his real, uncontrolled ones, from his forced ones.
“Technology has never been a strong point for you. Give me a mo.” Q sighed and then reached to the back of his neck. It wasn’t bloody or gory, not even in the fake way, but Q definitely pulled something out of his neck where a vertebra should have been. He handed the small black object to James.
“Did you just take the brain out of the body?” James had been very gentle about everything mechanical after Q had told him (he even started returning all of his equipment, because how could he take care of all of Q’s wires and screws if he destroyed the ones Q trusted him with) but Q was surprisingly calm and at ease with the strange wording that came from the human’s mouth, as if he knew trying to explain another species life was extraordinarily difficult. He took all of the strange analogies in stride.
“Wi-fi, the brain actually doesn’t have to be connected twenty-four seven, I just prefer it that way…I feel safer.” He shrugged. James treated it gingerly. “You can’t break it. It’s bomb proof, bullet proof, water proof, EMP proof, and 007 proof. It’s like that little black box on planes only cooler and with better stuff inside.”
“A whole person inside.” James sighed. “Here…” Q smiled, leaned forward and slipped it back into place, twisting his neck and sighing before looking at James. “You seem upset.”
“Q9 always makes me upset…just thinking about him… It makes me sad.”
“Understandable, Q.” James sighed, running his hands through his curls, which were as soft as they appeared.
“That feels nice.”
“Hm?” James asked.
“It feels nice, I don’t know why, but it does. There are a lot of nerves there, and in my hands, and in my back. I don’t know, there are some places with extra nerves I think, it just feels nice. I have considerably less than a human, so some spots just feel nicer, like…warmer, than others.” Q said, unconsciously twisting his head against James’ fingers. James chuckled and combed his fingers over the spot.
“You’re like a kitten. Are you going to purr?”
“I could. I can make a lot of noises humans cannot.” Then Q seemed to realize the statement before. James noticed that, most times, Q answered questions before responding to anything else, perhaps it was part of his natural instinct, his programing. “Kitten? Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“It’s a bit adorable, actually. Not a bad thing.” James assured him, rubbing the spot gently.
“Is it supposed to feel so nice?”
“For some people it does. I thought you didn’t really feel physical things.”
“Pain, not so much…not unless a nerve was actually damaged, but I’ve never had that happen. I can feel the warmth though and the sensation. It’s pleasant and hard to describe. Does this feel nice to humans? I never get to ask questions like that.”
“I don’t know personally, but I know it’s soothing to most people.” Q looked at him and tilted his head in an incredibly human way, before reaching out and running his fingers through James’ hair.
“Good?”
“Good.” James smiled. Q sighed heavily.
“I should rest for a while.”
“Rest?” James asked.
“Yes, see computers need to stay cool and need to rest and reboot every once in a while. I, personally, don’t have to, but this body does on occasion.”
“Oh…” It was so easy to forget that Q wasn’t human, he was just so…real. James was quite sure that if M really spoke to Q, he would love the man. He was just so sweet, so honest, so damn human, more human than most humans were. “How do you rest?”
“I just, turn most functions off and just…I don’t know, stop thinking I guess. It’s better than needing power, that’s tedious.”
“How do you stop thinking?”
“The same way humans do when they go to sleep I imagine. Things buzz through my head and then they just, slow down until there is very little left to focus on. It’s pleasant, but a bit frightening. I’m always nervous someone will storm in and notice and I won’t react fast enough.”
“I could stay with you.”
“R will be here in the morning, she always comes and checks on me the minute she’s in. She’s suspicious of me. I think…I think she doesn’t like me. I don’t think she likes the idea of AI at all really—not like me.”
“I’ll leave before she gets here, okay?”
“Okay.” Q lay down on his couch, laying his legs across James’ knees.
“Um…Q?”
“Hm? Did you think I was just going to rest sitting up? That requires balance which requires energy, no thank you. Let gravity do the work on occasion. If you want to sleep, feel free, but be up by 0430, that gives a half hour before the first minions arrive.”
“You shouldn’t call them that.”
“They call themselves that. I go along with it to keep the façade.”
“Rest, Q.” James sighed, gently tracing circles around Q’s ankle, over his sock. Q shut nearly everything in his body down…except for the nerves in his ankle and rested with his thoughts solely occupied on the warm gentle touch that didn’t stop.