Archive of Our Own

“Hyung!” Jisung nearly screams as he sneaks into Minho’s room without a warning, making him jump and drop his phone on the bed suspiciously.

“Jisung-ah!” Minho shouts back, all of his senses alert and ready to act upon.

The other boy simply laughs at the sight, because it must be how he pays his rent, considering the amount of times he teases Minho. 

“You know you could have knocked on the door, right? Like a normal person,” Minho adds more quietly, the tiny amount of anger dissolving as his heart starts beating more regularly. Jisung takes place on his bed with another giggle escaping his mouth, and while he struggles to find a comfortable way to sit, Minho quickly unlocks his phone, where the Twitter app had stayed last opened and swiftly brushes the app off before focusing back to what Jisung has started babbling about. 

But it’s too late—because when he turns his head to meet his best friend, he’s already pouting, round cheeks and shiny eyes silently begging for attention. 

“Mmh?” Minho muses, trying to get Jisung to talk again, refusing to get carried away by the treacherous feelings it arouses in him. 

“I need to talk to you about something!” He claims before going on a rant.

And Minho would love to listen to everything Jisung is saying (although he would never admit it to anyone, ever,) but the fact Jisung didn’t properly close his door is rubbing him the wrong way. He frowns. “How did you even get in here?” he asks, cutting Jisung off once again. 

“Hyung,” he whines, making Minho snicker as he gets up to close the door. He hears Jeongin’s name leave Jisung’s mouth, and he wonders why he even bothered asking. Minho turns back, and he can see through Jisung’s twitch of lips that he’s not really mad. “Now listen!”

“I am listening! Me walking around in my room has nothing to do with my listening capacity,” Minho reasons, making Jisung roll his eyes for what’s probably the tenth time today, because this is how he pays his rent. Do not tell Jeongin, though. Anyway, he sits back on his bed, carefully lays his eyes on Jisung to encourage him to finally go on.

The boy takes a deep breath before he delivers, “I have a new crush.”

Minho snorts. Because he should have expected it, because it isn’t the first time, and surely won’t be the last, either; because it is easier to act like the five words don’t affect him in the slightest. Because that’s what he always does, and he isn’t about to change that right now.

But also because…

“Oh yeah?” he muses instead, watching Jisung as he fiddles with his phone, looking for a picture to show Minho, certainly. Which he does, a second later. It’s almost ironic how much he knows him. “Not bad,” Minho hums indifferently when Jisung groans, limbs going stiff only to push the mattress in a childish manner. 

“Hyung,” he says for what seems to be the hundredth time ever since he’s gotten here. “Why can’t you be a little more enthusiastic?” 

Because. See, there is the thing with Jisung’s crushes: they’re either cute and fictional or very real and unreachable. Which Minho appreciates, quite frankly, but it doesn’t stop him from getting a little butthurt when said crush is either completely different from him or who he chooses to show to the world. It doesn’t really matter anyway.

Jisung shoves his phone closer to Minho’s face, as if it would change his opinion on the stranger’s face.

Truth is, he isn’t that bad. Not at all to be completely fair—he’s fine. And real. And reachable too, for once. But he’s also very different from Minho. Jisung doesn’t need to know about that.

He squints his eyes, the features strangely remind him of someone. “What did you say his name is?”

“Changbin.”

It all adds up so quickly. “Changbin, as in the guy who’s like best friends with Chris?”

“You know him?!” Jisung exclaims.

“Yeah, I do. I told you I hung out with him a few times before we met.” He refrains asking who’s the one not listening now. “I think I’ve seen Changbin a few times too, from afar,” he adds absentmindedly, regretting the words as soon as they leave his mouth.

He throws a glare at Jisung who’s already got his puppy eyes on.

“I’m not linking you two up.”

“C’mon! Why?” Jisung cries and Minho forces himself to look away, searching for his laptop instead.

“Because I haven’t talked to Chris in ages! And Changbin surely doesn’t know who I am. It’s gonna be weird.”

From the few times Minho has gone out with Chris, and from what Chris has told him about Changbin, he already knows Jisung would fit in there perfectly. Maybe that’s what scares him. He pushes the thoughts away as he types his way into a streaming website, but Jisung doesn’t seem to want to let go of the conversation yet. 

“You’re the one making it weird,” he mutters grumpily behind Minho, eyes focusing back on the Tinder profile. “Not bad,” he mimics Minho. “I’d like to see what your imaginary crush looks like, huh,” he elbows him, referring to the one time Minho admitted he liked someone. 

In fact, Minho didn’t mean to say he did: he was a little drunk and he had enough of Jisung constantly talking about new people he wished he was kissing, and asking Minho when he, too, will be infatuated with someone. Especially when the truth is, Minho mentioned that special person with the image of Jisung in mind.

That was a few months back, and they’ve never talked about it again, but Minho thinks he likes better having Jisung semi-doubting his crush than him being fully convinced by the thought that it could be just anyone. And well, while Minho does have a real crush on his best friend, it doesn’t mean he has to know. Putting up a smokescreen has always been his specialty. 

Minho doesn’t reply, and Jisung’s teasing only lasts a second more before he gets excited once he sees what Minho is doing. “Oh my gosh, what are we watching? Not Given again, please, I don’t want to cry.”

Minho rolls his eyes, “Okay, then Yuri On Ice?”

“Ew, no it’s worse.”

Minho sighs, “Okay, then pick one.”

Jisung takes both the laptop in his hands and the command seriously. He scrolls for approximately ten seconds before he gasps and clicks on whatever has caught his eyes, and then nearly shoves the screen in Minho’s face.

He freezes. Gosh, it’s embarrassing.

“This! I’ve seen so many fanarts on Twitter, but I never got to start the show!”

Jisung looks at him expectantly and Minho has no idea how to react. He could say the truth and admit he’s seen the anime. Multiple times. That he’s fallen in love with it; with both the plot and the characters. So much that he created a Twitter account to rant about it, a few months back. So much that he even fell down the rabbit hole and accidentally proceeded to read fanfics about it… Even write some, sometimes. Okay, multiple times.

Or . Or he could lie. He could just say he’s never seen it, and preserve the precious image Jisung has of him.

Yeah, the choice is quickly made.

“Oh, I’ve heard of it too, but I didn’t watch it either.”

Very smooth. Jisung’s smile widens. “Great! Then we’re watching Sk8 the Infinity !” is what he says as he presses play and blocks all the weird ads from coming on the screen.

Minho is doomed.

✎✎✎

Minho is good at keeping secrets. 

Or at the very least, he likes to think so.

It’s not like he’s got many secrets to keep—heck, he doesn’t have the time for that, but the few he’s ever engaged in are surely going down with him to the grave.

It started off as a kid when he caught his older cousin stealing a few candies when no one else was looking, a story sealed with a finger on his mouth and a malicious glimmer in his eyes to keep Minho in the confidence. And well, Minho doesn’t have any siblings, so this felt like the most important thing is his life back when he was seven.

And then, multiple years later, when he let his friend confide in him that they had a hard time trusting people and letting them in, Minho listened carefully. And that’s all he did, in fact. Even when he later on saw said friend’s partner at the time hanging out with someone else, looking awfully close to them, in the same way they were with his friend.

Minho didn’t tell them.

Because his friend was happy, because they finally had learned how to have faith in love, because Minho was no one to destroy the little trust they finally had built. Because he was trying to protect them—as silly as the excuse sounded like.

Looking back as a (mostly) grown adult, it does feel a little stupid. Minho himself would’ve liked being told if he were to be cheated on, but middle-school him didn't have it all figured out yet, and it’s okay. Minho doesn’t like dwelling on the past much. It’s not like he can change it anyway.

He breathes out loudly without even noticing, deep in thoughts.

He cannot change the future either, nor predict it, but he guesses the best he can do is do his best while living the present moment. He groans. He should be asleep, not philosophising about life. He presses his head further in his pillow and closes his eyes harder.

His brain finally shuts up.

Until it gets flooded with thoughts again.

So what if he didn’t tell Jisung about his Twitter account? He’s allowed some privacy, and last time he checked, he didn’t owe him anything. Plus, he’s pretty sure Jisung hides stuff from him, too. The thought shouldn’t make him bitter, yet it does.

It’s not like Jisung will judge him for having that hobby, but Minho is still a little embarrassed to actually vocally mention he’s been writing fanfictions about the show he’s been hyper-fixating on for a few months now. It isn’t stupid, but it feels like it.

Minho feels stupid.

He realises there are plenty of other things he’s hiding Jisung: like the fact he was the one who ate the last piece of cake he was saving in the fridge the last time they went in holidays with Jeongin, Felix and Seungmin last year, or the fact he’s had a big fat crush on him for a while now.

Minho is stupid.

He deludes himself by telling himself he’s doing the good thing by not telling him —by keeping this secret for him only— reassures himself that he’s doing the right one when Jisung is showing him a new crush he’s had for the third time of the week, because this is better than losing Jisung at all. He pretends he’s good at it, too, even when Jeongin looks at him that certain way he does when Jisung is around, the one that slightly pisses Minho off and makes him want to cry at the very same time. He’s never told him anything about this, but he knows deep down Jeongin knows him better than he would prefer.

It’s scary letting someone in.

(There again is one of the reasons why he’s fallen for Jisung: because it has never been scary, not even once, when it came to him. It’s all natural, and this is precisely why he should be scared and back off, but he can’t stay away from Jisung for too long. Withdrawal and shit.)

So a secret it is. To protect Jisung or himself he doesn’t like to speechify on, but it’s fine the way it is.

He also doesn’t like to dwell on it too much, at least not to the point where the thin line between keeping secrets and telling lies becomes blurry. It’s the same difference, honestly.

He’s even better at convincing himself, he often silently concludes. 

✎✎✎

Jisung’s eyes stay fixated on the screen while the chill summery-sounding ending makes itself heard. Minho looks at him expectantly, trying to quietly decipher how he’s enjoyed the show—although he sort of already knows; Jisung doesn’t know how to shut up and is the type to make comments every two dialogues. Not that Minho is any better.

“I wanna learn how to skate,” he simply says, eyes twinkly as he turns around to face Minho. He almost feels bad for laughing at his face.

“Jisung you’ve said that for almost everything we’ve ever watched.”

“Yeah, well, I mean it this time!”

“Tell that to your mom after she signed you up for those volleyball lessons…”

“Oh, shut up!”

“…that you never went to…”

Jisung grabs a pillow with his hands and nearly jumps on Minho with it. “You know it’s hard for me to meet new people!”

And yes, Minho does. But he also knows Jisung understands he’s just messing around with him. The smirk on his lips is enough to tell him he does. He relocates the pillow on Minho’s lap as he abandons all thoughts of fighting, trying to lay comfortably there instead as Minho silently starts playing with his hair.

“Do you know how to?” Jisung then asks, turning his face to slightly have Minho in sight, although he doubts the angle is flattering.

“How to skate?” Minho asks because he’s not sure what they’re talking about anymore, and Jisung nods. “No. I never was that type of kid. I liked rollerblades best. Felt safer.”

“That’s why you enjoyed Yuri on Ice way too much.”

“Okay, first off, that was years ago,” Minho pulls on a strand of hair to make Jisung regret bringing his dark past up. But he guesses it’s only fair after referring to his Haikyuu phase. An eye for an eye, and an anime for an anime, or whatever the saying is. “And I’ve never actually gone ice skating.”

At that, Jisung sits up suddenly, eyes wide as he stares right into Minho’s soul. “Never?” he says, although Minho’s already told him that, but the few streaks of brown hair perfectly framing his face and his pretty parted lips make it a little hard to focus on the conversation they’re having.

He shakes his head no.

“We need to go!” Comes Jisung’s answer immediately, holding Minho’s hands with excitement. Minho looks down on them, blinks a few times and thinks he’s been too obvious when Jisung’s warm hands already leave him. He throws a glance his way and feels better when he understands what they’re doing now.

“There’s a skating rink in town, should I call Hyunjin to ask him to drive us there?”

Minho is absolutely smiling because this would be evil and certainly not because the words make his heart race a little. Annoying Hyunjin has always been one of his favourite hobbies, especially since he’s gotten his driver’s licence.

Minho grabs Jisung’s phone without even answering him, and dials the number knowing damn well Jisung is mirroring his foolish smile too, and it feels good — better than anything else. 

✎✎✎

The doorbells of the shop go off and Minho hurries up to finish putting the last few books they just received on the shelf so that he can go greet their thirteenth customer of the day. Yes, he’s counting. He’s got to keep himself busy one way or another.

“Hel…” he starts enthusiastically as he jumps into the main room of the shop. “Oh, it’s just you,” he finishes once he notices his coworker and friend, but especially coworker, Seungmin, has come in.

He snorts, walking straight into the back of the store. “Nice to see you too, Minho.”

Minho waves him off with his hand as he returns to the room he was previously in. It’s smaller, maybe because of the thousands of books crowding the space, and definitely because of the empty boxes Minho just finalised taking several books out of. He quickly takes them into his hands, tries to flatten them the best he can before he joins Seungmin in the storehouse.

He’s already wearing his sage-green polo shirt with his name tag pinned on it and he’s looking at his phone with a little smile. Minho doesn’t bother to ask what he’s doing or who he’s talking to, it’s pretty obvious—and disgusting, first and foremost. He carefully drops them in a corner of the room, making the mental note of remembering to take them with him once his shift is over.

When he turns back, Seungmin is putting his phone in his back pocket.

“I’ve checked the new books and done the inventory already. There are just these two boxes left to empty,” Minho explains, pointing at the previously mentioned packages.

Seungmin nods and is about to talk, only to be cut by the doorbells ringing once again. Minho is faster to leave the backroom to enter the shop. “Hey,” he sweetens his voice, just to drop the act once he notices who just entered the shop. “Oh. Don’t you have classes to be attending” is the first sentence that comes to mind when he sees Jisung standing there.

The boy laughs while Seungmin shows himself behind Minho. “Oh hey Jisung! Long time no see.”

Jisung waves at him. “Yes, I’ve got no time to play with Felix lately, sorry.” He smiles sheepishly, a hand flying to play with the strands of hair that are out of his beanie near his nape.

“But you’ve got the time to be here,” Seungmin teases. Minho tries hard not to show how bad the words affect him. Seungmin doesn’t actually care, in fact, but he likes to take any occasions he gets to make it about his boyfriend. Minho also knows Jisung has been cancelling his game nights with Felix a lot lately, and if you ask him: no, he absolutely doesn’t know about that because Jisung is at his place. Not at all.

Seungmin really doesn’t care, since he’s back in the storehouse before Jisung even replies, getting the few boxes Minho has told him about. Jisung gets closer to the counter with a grin, which Minho can only parrot. “So, why are you here?” he ends up asking again in a less surprised and much more smitten tone which he hopes isn’t as obvious as it is to him.

Jisung plays along, as if Minho were playing to begin with. “To take you out for lunch, Jagiya.”

Minho bats his eyes quickly as words melt on his tongue, restarts his brain, and then checks the time. “Ah… but I still have thirty minutes left here.”

Seungmin walks behind Jisung without seeing where he’s going exactly given his two arms are holding the boxes up in front of his face. He drops them unceremoniously near the table where Minho placed all of today’s delivery. “You can go if you two are gonna act like this.”

The sentence elicits a pretty laugh out of Jisung’s mouth, but Minho doesn’t have the time to dwell on it that Jisung is already replying in his place. “Don’t be jealous, you’ll see Felix soon,” he teases, which makes Seungmin roll his eyes. And then to Minho, “No need to thank me. I’ll wait for you outside.”

Minho smiles and Jisung is out in a second, with Minho’s eyes still glued on his back. Then he moves, walks through the other room to help Seungmin with the books. “Are you serious?”

Seungmin doesn’t bother looking at him as he hums. “You did the same last time Felix came to the shop.”

Minho would like to argue that this situation was in fact different due to the dissimilarity in which both relationships exist, but he doesn’t want to acknowledge it today and would rather pretend that it is actually the same. Jisung just isn’t his boyfriend with whom he shares an apartment, but that’s obviously just a detail. Or a matter of time? He’s getting lost daydreaming.

“You sure?” he asks again, just in case, and this time Seungmin throws him an annoyed glance. “Okay then. Have fun.”

“Wouldn’t want to miss out on that,” he cynically says. “You too,” he then adds two minutes later, once Minho has changed and walks out the door with the pile of cardboards he needs to get rid of, almost ready to go get lunch with Jisung.

“Okay, this one… She lives alone. She probably had a husband a few years back. But not anymore,” Jisung states once Minho understands who he is talking about. He smiles and quickly licks his ice cream before it melts on his fingers.

People-watching has to have become one of his favourite pastimes. He likes it because Jisung does.

Minho entertains him in the meantime. “Why is that?”

“She decided she had enough of men telling her what to do.”

“A feminist, I see.”

“You know she is.” Jisung continues without sparing him a look, too focused on watching the lady from afar to try and dig more information about who she could be. They’ve been at it for a little more than twenty minutes, but Jisung’s inspiration never seems to run out. “Bet she’s got three cats.”

“Name them.”

Jisung finally tears his eyes off the silhouette to look at Minho with a grin. “I don’t know, probably something lame and basic like Oliver, Luna and…” Minho already knows what he’s going to say before he finishes, “Doongie.”

He rolls his eyes in fake annoyance, but he secretly appreciates his own cat doing a cameo in one of their conversations. He makes a mental note to call his mom later on so that he can talk to him. “Of course that white lady is gonna have her cat named that.”

“Maybe her ex-husband is Korean. And he was the one who gave it to her, duh .”

Minho focuses on eating his ice cream rather than swooning at his dumb stupid words. It’s nothing, and yet he can feel his cheeks hurt from how bad he wants to smile at whatever Jisung is saying.

A second is all it takes for Jisung to move onto a new target. 

“That guy is late—the one near the pharmacy over there,” he points out to a man that’s probably in his early thirties that walks fast enough for him to declare that. “He’s got somewhere to be.”

Minho raises a brow, not impressed by the vagueness. “Where to?”

“To the vet. He’s got to finally get his dog back after it went through a difficult surgery.”

“Lots of animals today,” Minho ponders aloud, but listens to Jisung’s story nonetheless. “Is the dog okay?”

“Of course it is. In fact, it can finally run again. It’ll even run into a lady and Josh,” he turns to talk to Minho, “you know, the owner of the dog,” he emphasises with his hand as if it all made perfect sense. “Well, he’s gonna fall in love with her at first sight. They’re going on a date tonight, by the way,” he adds with a wink.

Minho struggles keeping his indifferent facade. “That’s the plot of One Hundred and One Dalmatians , Jisung, and I’m pretty sure his name is Roger.”

“ Or they inspired Disney to make the movie. Thanks Jo— Roger !”

This time Minho cannot refrain a chuckle from leaving his mouth. After that, they sit in silence for a few seconds, finishing their ice creams as Minho’s eyes scan the crowd to find their next victim. He sees two guys around their age walk from afar, and he feels something heavy rest in his chest.

Still, he asks. “And them?”

It takes an instant for Jisung to find out who Minho is referring to, but once he does, he squints his eyes, as if trying to find a good story to tell. “They’re best friends.”

Minho hates the words although they don’t have a negative connotation to begin with. He stays silent, waiting for Jisung to continue.

“They have been forever. Their mothers gave birth to them on the same day and became friends themselves.”

Minho’s gaze gets lost following the two friends. And it’s all fine— it is —until the one on the left shyly takes the other’s hand in his. Minho wonders if he should make a comment on it, but Jisung cluelessly beats him to it.

“One of them has a crush on the other, but he doesn’t know how his friend would react.”

Minho turns his head to look at Jisung, only to find his eyes already on him. In these very few moments, that happen more often than Minho wants to admit (because he’s certainly overreacting), Minho has no idea what they are; has no idea what Jisung wants them to be. 

Surely, Jisung has caught on to the fact Minho likes him, even though they haven’t been friends since birth. Even if he is too scared to take his hands in public like that. 

Because it sounds painfully obvious when Minho says, “Will he confess?” He almost whispers the words, as if he was confessing his feelings himself.

Jisung looks at him intently, and Minho so badly wants to take off the chocolate stain near the corner of Jisung’s mouth without betraying himself. So he doesn’t. He lets Jisung be, although he knows he’ll get scolded for it later on.

“I don’t know. I don’t think either of them are ready,” he ends up saying in the same hushed tone, and it reminds Minho he’s asked him a question in the first place.

But he’s left wondering so many other things: like how would people watching them picture their dynamic, or something more silly, like how would Jisung’s lips taste against his, or yet again, does he even see him like that? Has he, even just once, thought of him that way, even if he regretted the thought right after? 

“We should go, it’s getting late.”

Jisung doesn’t give him the time to ponder on possible answers, but the fact he’s offering his hand to help Minho get down from the little wall they were sitting on feels like a silent response. 

✎✎✎

catboireki
OMG!!!!! WORDS CAN’T EXPRESS HOW MUCH I LOVED THIS FIC!!!!! okay wait let me calm down, i deadass need to gather my two braincells to try and formulate a correct thought and let u know how good of a writer you are!!! the dynamic between the characters!!! there’s just something about the way you write them that makes me!!!!!!! go feral!!!!!!!!!!! ur characterisation skills had me going crazy here!!! im new to the fandom but im so glad i found ur works so early!! i can’t wait to read ur other fics! thank you so much for writing them <3 hope u have an amazing week!!!!!

 

Bluemoon
This comment is the nicest thing I’ve heard all day :’) And please, you’re so cute hahaha it’s great you’re enjoying the fandom so far! I’m also getting emo at the fact I'm one of the first writers you found here… If you want I can definitely recommend a few fics for you to read! You’re so lovely omg please stoooop!!! Thank you so much for saying all of this, and I hope you’re having the best week too! Let me know if you happen to read other stuff i wrote! I’ve been feeling so uninspired lately but this makes me want to go back to them asap! So thank you <3

 

catboireki
ur the one that’s cute!! ill definitely need your recs and will also let you know once i do read your other fics!!! im so glad that comment helped you a little! let /me/ know if there’s anything else i can do to help!!:)

 

Bluemoon
You're too sweet.. I might let you know! ;) Thank you for asking!

✎✎✎

Falling is risky; and he knows it.

But there is something about the way Langa takes his hand into his that makes him want to dip. “You know I’m here for you, right?” he whispers just for Reki to hear. He doesn’t reply, shies away from the conversation, because if Langa saw him, then he’d know. He’d know how his heart aches for him to get closer and cross the boundaries they’ve set themselves right from the get go. 

Reki thinks Langa is starting to understand, he has to; why else would he act like that? 

The lack of answers pushes Langa to put his fingers on his chin and delicately chase his eyes. “You know I want to be there for you.”

This time it doesn’t sound like a question. It’s certain, set in stone. It needs to be heard and understood—it needs to be known that this might mean everything Reki has ever hoped for.

Yet, he isn’t quite as sure. But he’s willing to try, for once, instead of immediately shutting off and pushing his best friend away like he previously did. 

“Okay then… Will you go to the…

The what, Minho ponders. No, that’s too light. He mulls over . Where could two friends go? What could they do that would make Reki realise he’s safe confessing his feelings to Langa? 

The thought ironically pisses him off. Heck if he’d know.

It’s even harder given the fact Langa is supposed to think this is a date already. He likes to think that life imitates art, but there’s no way this would happen to him in real life. (Isn’t that why he started writing fanfics in the first place?)

His train of thoughts swiftly flows to Jisung, but he’s quick to chase the image away—he simply refuses to become this delusional. 

He sighs as he pushes his laptop aside, easily distracted by a Twitter notification appearing at the top of his phone. He grins at the message his online friend sent him and replies something equally stupid. Then he scrolls on his timeline, scrolls and scrolls again until he sees tweets and posts he’s seen thirty minutes ago, during his last impromptu writing break. He could just drop his phone and focus back on the fanfic he’s trying to write.

But he doesn’t—instead, he opens Tiktok, and wordlessly acknowledges he’s not going to get anything else done for today. Or he thinks so, at least. It’s always how it starts. He laughs at the few videos Jeongin has sent him, and also makes sure to send some back. And just like every time he stays on the app for five minutes, an hour has gone by without him noticing.

The only thing that makes his eyes drift to the top of the screen is Jisung’s text showing up, which Minho clicks on surprisingly fast. Ah. 

Jisung (sent at 11:31p.m.)

hey r u working tomorrow

Minho could check his planning before answering, but he knows Jisung is the type to notice he’s been left on read, even if it’s for a minute. And he’d hate to be the reason why he’d start overthinking, although he seems to be the cause of his every existential dread crisis (but that’s not the question —it isn’t ). 

Minho (sent at 11:31p.m.)

Lemme check

Then, a minute later. 

(sent at 11:32p.m.)

No

Why

Jisung (sent at 11:33p.m.)

hyunjin offered going to an amusement park, and since he wants to invite jeongin i thought it was only fair to invite u 2

Of course Minho would get invited because it is only fair . He knows deep down it’s not only that, and that Jisung truly wants him there, that he’s pretending to pity Minho so that he can get him to come along because that’s the way they tease each other. 

It works.

Minho (sent at 11:33p.m.)

Which one is it? Cause if it’s funland then no

Theyre no fun fr

Jisung laughed at “ Theyre no fun fr”

Jisung (sent at 11:34p.m.)

who do u take me for

(ill ask hyunjin tho bc idk)

Minho  (sent at 11:35p.m.)

A loser?

Minho has a hard time concealing his smirk. For a second, he pictures Jisung doing the same.

Jisung (sent at 11:35p.m.)

just say u don’t want to go and stop wasting my time

(sent at 11:36p.m.)

its funrealm btw

so?

It doesn’t sound any more appealing, but Minho is a weak, weak man.

Minho (sent at 11:35p.m.)

Ok fine im coming

He closes the conversation to open another.

Minho (sent at 11:36p.m.)

Why didn’t u tell me u were going to the park tomorrow

He shoots, not knowing if Jeongin is already sleeping or not.

Jeongin (sent at 11:37p.m.)

You Know I'm in the room right next to yours hyung?

I didn’t know you’d want to come.

Aren’t you scared of heights? Since you climb the stairs everyday to come home instead of going in the elevator with me?

Minho (sent at 11:38p.m.)

Thought you were sleeping already

Also elevators and roller coasters are different

Jeongin ignores his first text.

Jeongin (sent at 11:40p.m.)

Oh yeah?

Minho is too tired to entertain the conversation and explain to him how they truly are two completely distinct things for at least the hundredth time, and realises he should probably turn off his laptop now, as he’s not going to get any more work done. The screen lights up and his eyes scan the sentence where he left off.

Jeongin sends him one more text.

Jeongin (sent at 11:41p.m.)

And you wouldn’t have come if I asked you. 

You’re coming just because Jisung asked you to, aren’t you? ;)

Minho rolls his eyes, gets confused as he wonders how he knows it’s Jisung who invited him as he rumbles and ends up leaving him on read. He doesn’t want to deal with that either. His fingers go back to his computer keyboard and finish for him.

“Okay then… Will you go to the…

“Okay then… Will you g |

“Okay then… W |

“Okay then… Do you want to go to Sun Island with me?”

Langa looks at him like it’s the weirdest thing that has ever come out of his mouth. (They both know it’s not.)

“You mean, the theme park?”

Reki nods, a shy smile blooming on his lips. Langa beams as he agrees, and Reki likes to believe he would follow him anywhere.

Minho slept for five hours and is currently questioning how he’s holding up, dealing with both Jisung’s and Hyunjin’s bullshit at once. On a Saturday morning. With solely one cup of coffee gulped down.

The answer is: he’s not. He’s ready to fall asleep on Jisung’s shoulder at any given moment now if it weren’t for his two friends being so fucking loud. He envies Jeongin, who’s sitting right next to Hyunjin on the passenger side, deep in slumber.

God knows how, given Hyunjin’s voice overlaps with the music he put in the background as soon as he picked them up.

“Do you even know what he looks like?”

He swears he’s not even eavesdropping, the words just happen to fall in his ears and make his throat tighten. He’s grateful his eyes are already closed as he pretends to be asleep.

Jisung doesn’t seem at ease, or maybe he’s just moving because Minho’s head on him feels heavy. Or because the road is stoney and Hyunjin’s car is not the newest model out there—but hey, what would he know? He has yet to take a driving test himself, which he’ll probably never do, or at least not for as long as Hyunjin tolerates him. He keeps those thoughts buried and accidentally listens to what his friends are saying instead.

“No, I don’t think he’s ever posted a pic of himself,” Jisung replies shyly, and then with a pinch of guilt in his voice, “I didn’t find any at least.”

“Stalker much,” Hyunjin jokes, and Minho would have said the exact same thing to tease Jisung. He refuses to acknowledge that he might be doing the same right now, because he said he isn’t eavesdropping. “How old is he?”

Jisung takes a second to reply, and Minho feels his arms moving. “Twenty-four. That’s what his bio says.”

Minho barely refrains the frown from showing up on his face. He wonders who they’re talking about—he also questions if he really wants to know. Sadly, he already knows the answer. So instead, he focuses his mind somewhere else, on the way the engine is purring whenever Hyunjin speeds up, on the soft music playing behind their voices, and slowly, he falls asleep, too.

He’s woken up by Jisung, God knows how long after, with a cute smile and round cheeks to greet him as he caresses the top of his hand. “Hyung? We’re here.”

For a second, Minho is disoriented and blinks a few times to adjust to his surroundings. Right, Funrealm. Hyunjin and Jeongin are already out and certainly waiting for them to come.

“Sorry,” he automatically apologises, without truly having a reason to do so. His mouth feels like sand and he’s embarrassed to realise he’s slouched on the seat. 

But Jisung’s gaze on him is as soft as ever. “It’s okay.” He unbuckles both of their seatbelts before Minho has the time to register what he’s doing, averting his eyes when his hands fly over Minho’s waist. “Let’s go,” he then offers with a beam, and Minho’s racing heart makes him feel a bit more awake than he was a minute ago.

They get out and find Hyunjin all over Jeongin, which has him shrinking on himself in fake disgust. The sight amuses them, and Minho is quick to come and annoy his roommate as well. They joke around as they walk into the park, with Hyunjin leading the way, as always.

They start by going on a flat ride that nearly puts Minho back to sleep–although this time it may be an eternal one–meanwhile Jisung seems to thrive from the adrenaline rushing through his veins. That’s until he sees the people underneath him get smaller and his laughter is transforming into sharp screams that hurt Jeongin’s ears. Minho’s too, obviously, but the fact Jisung’s first logical reaction is to take Minho’s hand into his is enough to make him forget about the situation and be more at peace with the idea of nearly dying on that ride.

Hyunjin, for one, is having the time of his life, and wants to go back as soon as the stall stops. No one follows him, obviously but they do watch him with shit-eating grins when Hyunjin’s screams happen to be even more stridulent than Jisung’s that time around. He gets teased for it once his feet are back on earth, but that doesn’t dissuade him from being a menace.

Except this time around, Jisung has joined him and is now engaging in a screaming competition, which Jisung easily wins, much to the other visitors’ discomfort. They get stared at, Minho knows it and he usually would retreat or walk slower so as to not be associated with them, but it is Jisung we’re talking about, and Minho doesn’t fancy any second spent away from him. So it’s not like he really has a choice, does he?

They’re quick to hop from roller-coasters to log flumes, passing by bumper cars, as they wander in the park. It’s been a while since Minho has had that much fun without overthinking every interaction with his friend. As of now, he’s just enjoying the day as it comes, and not making mental notes of romantic stuff that could eventually happen in an amusement park just for the sake of fanfiction writing. He isn’t.

They spend the whole day enjoying the multiple attractions the park has to offer, and finally end up switching from thrill rides to softer ones as the sun sets down. On Jeongin’s demand, they move onto the arcade area of the park. Minho’s glad because he, himself, was starting to feel dizzy from all the loops they’ve been in throughout the day, but he doesn’t want to give yet another reason for Hyunjin to call him a wimp. 

(He’s seen him throw up once after taking one too many drinks, and it stayed ever since. Minho wonders when he’ll stop. The answer might be never. Hyunjin says it strengthens their friendship. Meh.)

Once there, they’re quick to form teams: Jeongin decides he’s had enough of Hyunjin and Minho doesn’t even seem to be an option, so Jisung as the second half of his duo it is. Hyunjin, as always, mouths off that they’re obviously going to win more tickets than them, and it’s on.

Jisung is the one who thinks of doing a bet—whoever loses has to pay for dinner—and it sounds fair enough for Minho to actually take it seriously. That, and the fact that they’re in the second half of September: any method is good to not use his savings. Especially after spending almost half of his pay of the month to buy Jisung presents for his birthday. Which, without lying, were the best out of all their friends. Felix said it wasn’t a competition and Seungmin added that it wasn’t technically fair because of how they’re always glued by the hips—obviously Minho is going to know him better. Minho simply rolled his eyes to show annoyance, but the tip of his ears told another story.

But he digresses.

Now Jisung isn’t his best friend, but an enemy, a rival, and he’d do anything to have him pay for dinner tonight. Jeongin is just a bonus, because God knows how many times Minho will remind him of this if he loses.

“Let’s start with the dance machine,” Minho says casually without even waiting for an answer, but he does get one. The opponent team is grumbling and Hyunjin is laughing, bouncing happily as he follows Minho.

“It’s not fair! You guys literally had dance classes for years!” Jisung complains, knowing damn well that Hyunjin is currently majoring in one of the fanciest dancing schools of the country and that Minho practised from age 5 to 20. The last four years have been a blur between going to classes and missing them, fooling around and dancing as a hobby while no one’s home. He thought so, at least.

Jeongin is fast to reassure him. “Nah, don’t worry, I’ve seen Minho-hyung dance recently and he’s rusty.”

The comment makes Jisung laugh, and Minho turns around, cocky. “Be my guest then.”

Jeongin accepts the challenge and places himself next to him on the machine as Jisung and Hyunjin sit behind them. Hyunjin whispers not so discreetly, “I love when they get like that.”

Minho turns around and sees Jisung’s stare on him. Me too , he imagines him reply, I love when he gets like that . 

Truth is, he doesn’t respond. Or well, Minho doesn’t hear him. Hyunjin cheers for him as he chants his name, and the game starts. Without any surprise, Minho wins the round. Hyunjin nearly jumps on him with excitement as Jisung consoles Jeongin that he did well.

Then, they switch places and Hyunjin and Jisung are competing, but everyone in the room knows Jisung doesn’t stand a chance against Hyunjin. He’s not a bad dancer if Minho’s opinion is something to rely on, but Hyunjin just has a facility with his body that isn’t given to just anyone. And that, even Jisung knows. So he jokes around in an attempt to distract him, and it slightly works, because Hyunjin is laughing throughout the whole dance and is trying to get back at him—which he kind of fails to do so, too. 

But he still wins the round, and Jisung’s idiocy brings a smile on the non-players’ faces, so all in all together, it doesn’t feel like anyone is losing. They move on to the nearest air hockey table, where this time Jeongin and Jisung crush Hyunjin and Minho. They decide to play more rounds, and when they finally reach their fifth game, with Jeongin and Jisung winning four out of them, it is clear who the winner is.

But Minho doesn’t want to give up yet, although he has no idea where he could potentially beat their asses. 

He stays contemplative as Hyunjin and Jeongin start bickering next to him, which leads them to run to the video games area to see who can shoot more zombies, without noticing that Jisung remains next to him. Minho’s eyes linger on their friends’ silhouette a while longer before he’s brought back to reality by Jisung’s voice.

“Want to play basketball?” he points with his hand to their right, the two alleys on their right now free and waiting for new players.

Minho has never played basketball in his entire life, and Jisung knows it. He must see the face Minho is making and is quick to justify. “We don’t have to make those rounds count. It’s not like they’re here to make sure we're playing for real,” he supplies. Minho smirks, and throws another glance their way, too engrossed in the game to even remember they didn’t come here alone to begin with. Minho might have to talk about it with Jeongin later.

(Or he doesn’t. Who knows where it would lead? There are high chances that it would fire back. Jeongin has a way of knowing shit on people, and Minho would be dead before he dares to try to know what Jeongin gathered on him. He shakes off the thought.)

“Okay,” Minho ultimately agrees and follows Jisung to the game.

He puts the token in the slit and the party starts. The balls come near the edge, and Jisung places himself behind Minho. “It’s pretty simple. You just take the ball,” he marks his words by doing so himself. “And you throw it in the hoop,” then again, he perfectly happens to do as such.

Minho clicks his tongue. “Thank you genius, I wonder what I’d do without you,” he teases, throws a ball of his own and misses the net. Jisung laughs.

“You have to flex your wrist more,” he takes Minho’s in his hands, accentuates the movement, “like this.”

Admittedly, it’s stupid of Minho to be a little dumb struck because of something so little—Jisung is his best friend, that much is established, and sure, they’ve held hands before and have been close, but he cannot the suppress the tingle Jisung’s touch leaves on his skin. Jisung looks at him with a smile, just both corners of his lips up as he looks at him expectantly, wild lights of the arcade brushing his cheeks and making his face look prettier than usual, if that can be a thing. His hair looks darker here than they did outside, and Minho is tempted to put the streaks away from his face to be given more of Jisung to admire.

He doesn’t bulge.

“Okay,” he whispers instead when the machine behind him makes it known that the party is over. Jisung’s smile widens as he nods, encouraging him as he places a token in his hand this time. Minho waits for Jisung to put another token in the machine next to him so that they can actually compare their score when the round is over.

Which Minho does despite Jisung offering not to make it a competition earlier. “I won!” he screams, making Jisung grouse as he notes the interval of a point between their two scores.

“Hyung! This is not a competition!”

Minho’s eyes lighten up, and Jisung already rolls his eyes, “This is not a game! This is competition!”

Jisung can barely hide his amusement. “You suck.”

“Says you,” Minho snorts, pushing a finger against Jisung’s chest. “Mister I-love-basketball-but-lost-against-a-beginner.” Jisung’s tongue pokes through his cheeks and Minho struggles tearing his eyes off the cocky, undeniably hot action. Jisung raises an arrogant brow and that’s when Minho remembers he has better things to do, like get back the tickets the machine is handing him. 

Jisung does the same with a laugh. “There you said the key word!” he exclaims as he taps Minho’s shoulder, hand staying there as he pinches the skin softly. When Minho turns around to face him, he lets his shoulder go only to find Minho’s wrist, fingers running on it to meet Minho’s. 

Minho doesn’t even realise, too focused on Jisung’s next words. “This is simply beginner’s luck! And it doesn’t count!” he can’t chase his smile away even if he tries to. He’s also trying  to force Minho to admit this was nothing—and without any surprise, this is even harder to succeed in. 

Minho spurs him on. “You know it does! I never explicitly agreed to this just being a teaching lesson! So—”

Jisung’s face screams ‘You did!’ but he figures words are no use with Minho, and instead cuts him off by putting his other hand on his mouth, covering it.

The action surprises Minho, but he reacts pretty fast and bites Jisung’s fingers, “Yah! Stop!”

Minho does stop, not because he wants to but because it is difficult to hold still while he’s laughing. That’s when Hyunjin and Jeongin come back, evidently.

“See I told you they’d be all over each other,” Jeongin deadpans, but Hyunjin doesn’t even listen to him. His eyes glisten when he sees the tickets in Minho’s hands. “Did you win?”

“I did!” Minho exclaims and shows them better.

“Did not!” Jisung whines.

Minho puts some distance between them, realising only in that moment that he is still holding his hand. “Whatever.” He feels a little shy now that their friends are back, a little uncomfortable that he’s being this vulnerable for everyone to witness. “Want to play whack-a-mole?”

“Oh yeah!” Jeongin replies first, and is now leading the whole group to the other side of the arcade. Hyunjin and Jisung trail behind, and Minho takes a second to breathe before he follows them, but then he sees that Jisung has turned around, holding out a hand for him to take, a timid smile displayed on his face.

He takes it again. 

Minho knows—falling is risky, but the rush he feels in his veins is worth it. Even if it’s just for today, he allows himself to enjoy the dive, hoping he won’t end up crashing to the point of no return. 

✎✎✎

Minho doesn’t want to go out. 

With the several exams and essays he’s got to work on in order to complete his bachelor's degree, and with his new part-time job at the library, he’s gotten little to no time for himself lately. He cannot remember the last time he’s gone out—even less the last time he went out with someone.

Sure there’s Jeongin, but he isn’t sure that going grocery shopping with his roommate can be called hanging out. There’s Chris, too, but it’s been a while since they last saw each other, and Minho doesn’t want to bother him: which he has the certainty he is doing. Chris is a nice guy, and it’s not that he, himself, isn’t—it’s just that they’re different. The other boy seemed to have caught onto that as well, since he’s never planned anything else for the two of them after their last time going out.

Minho doesn’t take it personally, although he finds himself often thinking about it. He tries to rationalise it: Chris is certainly busy with work or hanging out with that sophomore he told Minho he helped the year prior, or maybe he’s helping Changbin out with uni stuff, if he remembers his best friend’s name correctly. Plus, Minho knows he has to be looking after his siblings and certainly got model-elder-child business to accomplish, or something of the sort. 

Minho wouldn’t understand the feeling—first because he’s an only child, second because if he were to count Doongie as his sibling, Minho would score second. He’d talk to his mother about it, but he’s afraid his feelings will get hurt in the process. 

Whatever. What he means is that he wouldn’t know know. There surely are other things Chris hasn’t been telling Minho, but then again, it’s not like Minho tried to comprehend them either.

And well, Minho too has been occupied. Graduating isn’t as fun as it sounds like in movies, because there’s actually work and revisions to do before he gets to party. And he’s right in his final terms week—meaning he’s seeing the light, but not quite yet.

This seems to be the reason why Seungmin offers to go out with him and his friends tonight.

“It’ll be fun,” he said three hours prior to said hang-out. “It’ll be just Felix, Jisung, Hyunjin and I,” he added, as if Minho has a single idea who these people are. Well, he partly does—he’s heard Seungmin complain about wanting to date Felix for the last two months during their overlapping shifts, and given how quiet he’s gotten in the meantime, something indicates to him things either went right. Or wrong? Again, Minho doesn’t bother asking.

What he does ask is: “Who are Jisung and Hyunjin?”

Looking back, the question makes him laugh a little, especially considering one of the two boys is actually at his place, squatting on his couch as they binge watch YouTube videos as of now. But well, Minho from two years ago couldn’t imagine how big this would get.

So yeah, at first, he doesn’t want to go out. Because he’s tired, because he’s got work to do (and even if he’d take any excuses to dip… he’s not that desperate), because he doesn’t know anyone that’s going to be there aside Seungmin, if he can even say he knows him at all. They’re coworkers, have been for about four months now, and well, Minho doesn’t really do friends. Doesn’t know how to, to be more exact, but it isn’t something he’s trying to work on either.

He wants to say no. Reflects a little longer and thinks back to Chris. Since he’s surely not going to revise tonight, he might as well do something else. Maybe it would be better to maybe make a move, for once. Hanging out with people younger than him doesn’t sound like the best plan for a Thursday, but it soon becomes his only option when he’s left on read by Chris after asking if he's free tonight.

So in the end, Minho does go out with Seungmin.

He meets Felix for the first time, Seungmin’s boyfriend to be, but they don’t know that for sure yet, although they are in a heavy talking stage, which sort of makes Minho depressed. This also leads him to see Seungmin in a new light, and he doesn’t really know which he prefers, but again, it’s not long until the Seungmin he knew previously will be gone forever to be the Seungmin he knows today—lovestruck and boring, although this last adjective applied before already.

He guesses it’s only right—that he, too, is different when at work when annoyed by customers than when he’s out with someone he likes… (not Chris, he forces himself to think). He also meets Hyunjin, Jisung’s childhood friend, but doesn’t meet Jisung himself.

Or at least, not right away.

As he’s been told, Jisung is often late, and the prediction proves to be true, as he arrives forty minutes later, once everyone is at least on their second, if not third, drink. It goes like this, he remembers like it was yesterday: Minho feels a little hazy and blames Seungmin for choosing one of the cheapest bars in town. An unknown voice is quick to mock his friend and join Minho, which he appreciates, whoever that is.

And suddenly, the boy he doesn’t know they were waiting for appears next to him, and the introduction is done.

So this is Jisung. And Minho is well… Minho.

But he’s also wrong. 

He has been mistaken, to say the least, about this not being the best hang out he could’ve asked for for whatever day it was. Little did he know, going out that night has been one of the best things he’s done in his entire life, if he’s being completely honest. Hence why he’s never distinctly thanked Seungmin for making them meet, but Minho likes to believe he found a way to pay him back throughout the past two years. Even if that comes through pretending they’re simply co-workers instead of friends. That’s his way of showing love.

Reminiscing all this sounds like a lifetime away. A life where he has a crush on Chris sounds unbelievable, and one where he isn’t friends with none of them appears mournful. He throws a glance Jisung’s way, who’s now peacefully sleeping, or so it seems, and Minho nearly coos.

He had no idea that Jisung who’s always late, Jisung who’s forgetful, Jisung who’s Felix online friend, would happen to be his Jisung, too. Jisung who comes to his place unannounced, Jisung who gets so passionate when it comes to something dear to him, Jisung who crushes on someone new every two weeks, Jisung whose smile is the brightest source of light Minho’s ever wanted to acknowledge. 

Jisung, with whom Minho shares all of his life too: who gladly receives it all and gives back. Jisung, who never fails to find the right thing to tell Minho, without even knowing how badly he needs to hear those exact words sometimes.

Jisung, who Minho wishes could be his—Jisung, who probably doesn’t feel the same as him, or not as deeply. He hates that his patience is running thin, and that his emotions are starting to outgrow the friend base they’ve established.

Minho sighs, he truly shouldn’t be getting worked up about that when Jisung is a few feet away. He moves his hand in front of him, verifies he’s asleep for real before he opens Twitter.

Bun @bluemoon

Isn’t it funny how words are easy to lay down on a page, but things get actually complicated when it comes to confessing to someone you like irl? ㅠㅠ

“Minho?” He then hears a low voice come through, and he tries his best not to freak out nor look suspicious.

Jisung is still sleeping, and he nearly verges on a cardiac arrest before he recognises Jeongin’s shadow standing in the corridor. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” he murmurs as he looks around, the TV light making Jisung’s presence known. “I thought he had gone home already.”

“He was supposed to,” Minho starts explaining, and marks a pause as he looks at Jisung. ‘But I don’t have the heart to tell him to go now,’ he wants to say, but doesn’t. Instead: “I don’t want to wake him up, he’s gonna be grumpy and I don’t want to deal with that.” 

It’s a lie, and his roommate certainly doesn’t buy it. However, he doesn’t vocally question it, although his eyes on Minho seem to know better.

“Don’t forget to turn off the TV when you go to bed.” He simply reminds him before turning back to go back to his room.

“Sure,” Minho nods, and just like that he’s gone.

Until he hears again, “Minho?”

His first reaction is to look for Jeongin, even if he clearly heard the voice coming from his left. It takes him a second to realise. 

“What time is it?” Jisung asks as he rubs his eyes sleepily. Minho is too fond of him and it’s making him struggle to function like a normal human being, but he tries and focuses on the mission he’s given.

“One thirty.”

Jisung moans as he lets his head hit the sofa once more. “Can I sleep here, please?” he asks, as if Minho is some kind of monster. Minho knows Jisung doesn’t say it like that, but he also guesses there’s a reason behind it. He's been harsh during their first year of friendship—or so he likes to call it that way—enough to set boundaries and not let anyone sleep over, just because he’s never been used to that growing up. He was letting Jeongin over and it was already enough… (the roommate part obviously had nothing to do with it).

He has no idea where that mindset went as Jisung has scratched his way through the walls he’s spent years building. 

“Sure. I’ll go make the bed.”

“Don’t bother, I’ll just sleep here.”

Minho doesn’t like the sound of it. “You’re sure?”

Jisung hums, and Minho suspects him of falling back to sleep. If he isn’t yet, then Minho will ask him if he wants to sleep in his bed. What? It is way more comfortable than their first-price couch they bought when they moved in a few years ago, and Minho only wants Jisung to sleep well. That’s all.

But the moment is gone before he can ask—if Jisung’s snores are anything to go by. He looks at him affectionately before he goes back to his room to retrieve a blanket and pillows. If asked, he’ll refuse to admit he walked fast on his way back just to make Jisung’s slumber more peaceful.

Once he seems alright, Minho grabs a glass of water for himself and turns off the TV as told, walks to his room again trying not to think much of how it would feel to have Jisung reciprocating his feelings and hugging him goodnight. 

The next morning, he wakes up to a few likes and retweets, just like he usually does, sees his mutuals’ responses to stuff he sent them, but also squints his eyes wondering who that person who replied to his tweet is. The @ rings a bell and he guesses he’s seen it on AO3, but it doesn’t matter much. 

Even if they replied: 

Reply to @bluemoon’s tweet: sam @catboireki

ah i know how it is :( i’m here if you want to talk about it <3

And well who knows? Minho might. 

✎✎✎

He does, actually. If that can be considered talking. 

He doesn’t know how it starts exactly. It’s blurry, undefined, caught between a multitude of replies to random tweets and pressed likes like flash signals. That’s the thing about Twitter, or that’s what it is to Minho, or to Bun , to be more precise.

He goes there everyday because he’s bored and he’s got a few people he likes talking to. He’s got a few followers, too, both on there and AO3, which Bun greatly appreciates—but is bad at showing. 

He’s hard to crack and intimidating, or so he’s been told by his mutuals before they became friends, although Minho doesn’t really get why. He guesses it’s just because he doesn’t sound as friendly as other writers do on the app, and because he’s bad at tweeting his thoughts overall, even if that’s the whole point of Twitter. 

He doesn’t mind when someone else does it, but exposing bits of your personal life on his timeline isn’t something he’s keen on learning how to do. He barely shares his life with people he knows in real life, let alone with people online. He’d agree that the screen barrier is a good way to just say whatever without anyone truly knowing really what’s up, though, but it’s still a little hard for him to open up.

But all it takes is one person.

That, and a certain amount of alcohol to get Minho to talk.

Minho (sent at 11:23p.m.):

I miss you

The answer comes perfectly fast.

Jisung (sent at 11:23p.m.):

already?

you’ve been gone for less than 48 hours hyung

did u down the mandatorily birthday soju bottle yet?

Minho struggles reading. For once, he wants to be the one talking.

Minho (sent at 11:24p.m.):

Wish yoiu were herz

Jisung (sent at 11:24p.m.):

gonna take that as a yes :’)

ur alone?

Minho (sent at 11:24p.m.):

Yeea

Jisung (sent at 11:24p.m.):

ur parents already went to bed?

Minho nods as if Jisung can see him, as if he wasn’t kilometres and a few towns away. He’s gone home for the weekend to celebrate his mother’s birthday with his family—it’s only been two days, but it feels like he’s seen Jisung for the last time a month ago. He tries to facetime him as Doongie jumps at the bottom of his bed, but the call gets declined.

He tries again even though he knows he’s going to regret being this clingy in the morning. Plus, he’s not that drunk… He is just a bit dizzy, but anything’s a good excuse if that means he gets to see Jisung.

Jisung declines the call again, but texts him right after.

Jisung (sent at 11:25p.m.):

gonna take those calls as a yes again

yall are a family of lightweights istg

also i can’t answer rn :’( sorry

Minho whines, shifts in his bed like a kid throwing a tantrum, and decides to ignore him.

He doesn’t like sharing his life on Twitter, he swears he doesn’t.

Bun @bluemoon

Do u evzr think of renga getting drunk and being all soft because I Do

And it’s not like he’s talking about himself—he’s just projecting onto 2D characters and being delusional, but no one has to know that.

Bun @bluemoon

You know im not fond if spoiling my fics but i just think best friznds to lovers is the best trope to ever exist and it fits renga. Theyre the standard . And i jdmight be writing them

It isn't long before he gets notifications, but one in particular catches his eye.

Reply to @bluemoon’s tweet: sam @catboireki

u mean fic of the year is on the way?! im about to digest it like no other

Reply to @catboireki’s tweet: Bun @bluemoon

How about u digest me instead?!

Reply to @bluemoon’s tweet: sam @catboireki

😳😳 …. im omw 🏃🏃

Minho smiles and lets his fingers dance on the screen as they click on Sam’s profile. He’s twenty-two according to his location and uses he/him pronouns, just like Minho. Just like Bun? They’re the same person, Minho shuts down the mental gymnastics, but it doesn’t quite feel like it. There’s something about Bun that’s not Minho-like, and he knows it deep down. 

He’s not fond of oversharing his life, because he knows damn well no one cares about his life— Minho ’s life. But this doesn’t apply to cool, mysterious Bun. He masks being hurt at the realisation, but it does sober him up a little. 

He follows Sam.

Jisung (sent at 11:31p.m.):

ur okay?..

Minho (sent at 11:31p.m.):

Yeah, don’t worry

That’s what he replies. What he tweets is something else. 

Bun @bluemoon 

I feel so stupid rn

Jisung (sent at 11:32p.m.):

why does it sound like i should worry..?

Minho is quick to dismiss the text.

Reply to @bluemoon’s tweet: sam @catboireki

whatever it is, im sure youre not :(

Is the first reply Minho receives. And then:

Reply to @bluemoon’s tweet: sam @catboireki

i’m here if you want to talk about it <3

He wonders for a second if Sam’s discourse would stay the same if he knew Bun for who he truly is. If he knew Minho. Probably not. 

Reply to @catboireki’s tweet: Bun @bluemoon 

Thank you. I should just go to bed, I’ve done too much already 

Reply to @bluemoon’s tweet: sam @catboireki

:( alright, stay safe

It’s the last thing Minho sees before he falls asleep, but he’s glad to wake up to Jisung’s text the next morning.

Jisung (sent at 11:43p.m.):

i miss you too

let’s call tomorrow and hang out as soon as u get home

✎✎✎

As expected, they do see each other as soon as Minho comes back.

In fact, Jisung is already at his place when he steps into his apartment, late at night. Courtesy of Jeongin. 

“You’re home,” a voice he doesn’t recognise as Jeongin’s greets him before Minho has the chance to even notice there’s someone in the room—which is before he can even turn the light on and turn around. The sound makes him jump in surprise: the salutation making it seem as if Minho was the one who invited himself to Jisung’s place. He presses his lips in a shy smile once he meets Jisung’s attentive figure. 

For a second he believes he’s alone, but that’s until Jeongin decides to let his presence be known too, with a vague ‘Hi’ and a movement of hsi hand that appears from behind the corner of the kitchen wall, too lazy to go and salute Minho properly. It makes him almost have to do a double-take on who’s his roommate, although there isn’t any more roommate-like behaviour than Jeongin’s. 

Minho doesn’t bother asking Jisung why he’s here. “When did you arrive?”

Jisung’s smile is all gum and fondness as he tilts his head and lets the side of it hit the backrest of the couch. Jeongin answers for him anyway as Minho walks his way to the sofa. “He’s been here since 5. Next time tell him when you’re coming home.” 

Minho mentally cringes. Yeah, he could have let Jisung know he wouldn’t be home until at least nine. But it also felt safer to leave later than normally planned and to ghost him for the whole day after what happened the night before. Oops. 

He could’ve also let Jeongin know, he figures, but what’s the fun in that? 

Minho quickly throws a glance Jisung’s way, and the smirk on his face seems to be telling a hundredth of things. Minho is afraid to hear them all. 

But Jeongin gets up, his laptop in his hands and headphones around his neck, interrupting the moment without knowing he did, surely. “I’m going to bed,” he announces as he crosses the room; and then, right before he enters his room, he speaks up again. “Don’t stay up too late. I don’t want you to be late for Seungmin’s birthday tomorrow.” 

At that, Jisung finally acknowledges Jeongin’s existence. “Oh yeah, what time is it again?” 

Meanwhile Minho frowns. “It’s tomorrow?”

Jisung laughs lowly like he’s trying to be discreet, but Jeongin hears him well, and it just adds to his annoyance. “Don’t you ever read the texts we send you? Or the group chat?”

“I don’t think Minho-hyung knows there’s a groupchat,” Jisung jokes, but little does he know, he is right. Minho doesn’t dare to ask aloud what the heck they’re talking about. 

Thankfully, Jeongin doesn’t spend more time on that detail. “Lunch is at twelve,” he replies to Jisung, who nods back, and then focuses on Minho again. “Should I send you the location?”

“We’re not going together?” he answers. 

Jeongin rolls his eyes. “I have classes in the morning, so I’ll go there right after. You really don’t know about the group chat, do you?” 

Minho offers an awkward smile that makes the younger sigh, while Jisung’s brain seems to be working overtime, “We can go together if you want.” 

It’s Minho’s turn to look at him, and Jisung explains, his phone in hand. “I can ask Hyunjin to drive us there.” 

And just like that, the issue is solved, and Jeongin appears to have heard enough. He doesn’t say goodbye, but then again, it’s not like it would have mattered given how the two friends are too lost in their silent eye contact to notice that he’s definitely gone. 

“So? How was the weekend?” Jisung breaks the ice when Minho sits next to him, putting more space than he usually would. Jisung frowns at the realisation, and Minho feels guilty. 

He swallows. “Great.” When in reality, the term he would've chosen to describe it better was Sad. Nostalgic too? Too many emotions that Minho has avoided unpacking throughout the day and is certainly not going to do now with his best friend and main character of his torment. 

If Jisung notices it, he doesn’t peep a word. “She liked her gift?” he asks instead, reminiscing on the hard time they’ve had to close Minho’s luggage without breaking the precious tea set they put in three days earlier. 

Minho exhales a laugh, “Yes, she did. ‘Thought the flowers on it were pretty.” He finds Jisung’s fond eyes. He knows Jisung loves Minho’s mother, although they’ve met only twice, and he also knows it is reciprocated, which makes it a little harder to deal with all of this properly. According to him, anyway. “She liked that design more, you were right,” he refers to the fact Jisung helped him pick between this set and a simpler, more classic, white and gold one. 

“Ah,” Jisung sounds pleased. “Did you tell her it was me who chose it?”

Minho grabs a pillow and holds it close as he puts his feet up and ends up cross-legged. “No,” he smiles, feeling lighter now that Jisung doesn’t look like he’s going to ask about what happened last night. It’s a big conversation to have, and he doesn’t think he would’ve been ready for it—which is the issue each time, or so it seems. “I don’t want her to put you in the will and kick me out.” 

Jisung giggles at the thought. “Damn it,” he playfully throws a punch in the air, “I’m sure my name would look good on there.” He jokes and then focuses back onto Minho, end of the words trailing more seriously as his brown irises shine in a way Minho has rarely seen him hold for him. Jisung gets closer, and Minho finds himself magnetically drawn to him. 

Moments like that make Minho lose his last correctly functioning neuron. It makes him wonder if Jisung feels the tension too, if he perhaps creates it on purpose, just to try and see what Minho will do. In this instant Jisung feels so close, ready to be plucked for him to cherish. And Minho just wants to do that, honestly, but…

But the moment is gone before it even arrives, as always. 

Jisung whispers, breaking the bubble they’ve been in, “I don’t know if I really want that though.” Minho mentally slaps himself to get it together, but his friend is not helping. Jisung leans in and all the alarms set off in his brain once his perfume reaches his nostrils. “I’ve heard Doongie is gonna get a good part of it.” 

Jisung smiles as he settles back, and Minho stays wordless. That’s until he realises the look on Jisung’s face, flashing a mix of concern and worry. Minho forces out a laugh that sounds utterly normal. Haha. 

“Yeah, no, sorry to tell you but I’m pretty sure he’s gonna get all the money and leave you with five won and more bills to pay,” he ends up replying, hoping he’s saved himself from the feared conversation. 

Jisung seems to understand. “I’ll leave that to you then,” he replies with a smile, only to be cut off by the ringing of his phone. He looks at it, which gives Minho the time to control his breathing. He really needs to stop freaking out at the thought of Jisung potentially asking what’s wrong and him potentially confessing his feelings. An imaginary scenario of Jisung acting disgusted and rejecting him plays in his head, and nevermind. Minho will be stressed.

“Hyunjin agreed to drive us to the restaurant tomorrow.” 

Minho nods, too preoccupied by whatever Jisung might be thinking of him to focus on what’s coming out of his mouth. He tries not to overthink it as he says, “I think I’m gonna sleep, I’m so tired with the trip and all.” He doesn’t debrief that the ‘and all’ refers to whatever is happening between the two of them. 

He stands up, and he notices there’s a millions of questions floating in the air separating them.

The only one that’s asked though is, “Can I stay?”

Everyone knows what Minho replied. 

“You guys need to stop thinking I’m a taxi,” is the first thing Hyunjin says when they enter the car the next day. 

“Aren’t you?” Jisung teases when he fastens his seatbelt and gets comfortable in the passenger seat. Minho is at the back, smiling.

“Am not,” Hyunjin groans, but starts driving nonetheless. “If I were then I’d make you pay.”

He seems to register the words as they come out, and realise the genius idea he’s been missing on, only for Minho to say, “Well then, good thing you’re not.”

He rolls his eyes and focuses on the road as he merges into the traffic. The ride isn’t a long one, since Seungmin’s favourite restaurant happens to be one that’s only twenty minutes away from Minho’s apartment.

When they enter the restaurant, they easily spot Felix’s blond hair from afar, surrounded by Seungmin’s and Jeongin’s respective brown and black strands. Jisung doesn’t wait for a waiter to nearly run to them and scream ‘Happy birthday!’ to Seungmin, which might as well be to anyone else in the building, considering the way everyone turns their head to see where the scream comes from.

Hyunjin beams as Minho apologises to the people eating, and they walk their way to sit at the table. They wish Seungmin a happy birthday more silently, and without further ado, they all order. The food is good and Minho understands why Seungmin wanted to have lunch here. The conversation goes easily, between ‘ Ugh I have a ton of things to do for uni and I'm so tired’ and ‘You guys will never believe who Seungmin and I saw during our date last night!’ Minho is quick to dissociate.

Jeongin, who sits in front of him, seems to notice and hits him in the knee under the table. Minho lets out a silent ‘ouch’ , knits his brows unconsciously as he tries to figure what that was for. He perceives the way Jeongin looks at him, careful and suspicious. Minho immediately nods as if Jeongin reproached him about something and he understands he has to do better—and he swears he tries.

“Who’s coming to tonight’s party?” Hyunjin asks a few minutes later, when Minho is supposed to have been listening to the previous conversation.

Minho swears he tries, and fails. “What party?”

They all turn to look at him as if he’s coming from another planet and Jeongin facepalms himself.

“Seungmin’s birthday party,” Felix explains with a soft smile, because of course he does. Minho’s mouth opens enough so that his teeth peek through, letting the information reach his brain.

Hyunjin and Jisung seem amused by how disconnected Minho is, meanwhile Seungmin replies to Hyunjin. “Well, I thought all of you, but—”

Jeongin cuts him. “He’s coming.”

He doesn’t know where this sudden need Jeongin has to include him in the group’s doings comes from, but he doesn’t mind it. He does need a little help on this aspect lately: it feels like he’s been so in his head about whatever is happening with Jisung that he pushed all the rest aside. He hates realising that. “Yeah, I’ll be here.”

Seungmin nods and is quick to dismiss that line of talk. “I think there are gonna be a few friends from my year and highschool,” he turns around to look at his boyfriend, who’s as cute as ever, “but also, one of Felix’s friends, right?”

“He helped me find my way through the campus when I first arrived three years ago! We’ve kept contact ever since and he wanted to meet Seungmin for real, so I thought it was a good idea for him to come tonight!” He explains with a smile. “And now he gets to meet all of my friends too!” he gestures his hands in round motions out of excitement.

And well, if Felix likes the guy, then it means that the guy could be just anyone. But if Seungmin authorises this, on his birthday night, then he must be someone trust-worthy, Minho reasons.

He feels Jeongin’s eyes linger on him a while longer before his roommate announces he’s got to go back to class, and it’s all it takes for everyone to pay for their meal and say goodbye.

What Minho doesn’t expect is for the guy to be no one else than Chris.

But he doesn’t learn about it right away. First, because he is late, which Seungmin jokes that it is Jisung rubbing off on him when he opens the door to him, and second, because he’s been getting drinks on drinks ever since he entered the apartment.

As expected, the place isn’t crowded, but there are indeed faces Minho has never seen. He doesn’t bother meddling too much, keeps it short and polite with a head bow and tight-lipped smile. Then, when it’s socially acceptable, or what he deems it to be, he dips in the kitchen and drinks two shots by himself to get himself more in the mood.

Only two because the third comes with a visitor.

“Really?” Jeongin asks, an eyebrow raised in disapproval.

Minho downs it nonetheless. “What?”

Jeongin sighs. “Listen, I know you don’t want to talk about it, even less with me, but maybe if you did with Jis—”

Minho cuts him before he gets the chance to pronounce the name completely. “What about him?” he lets out in an absolutely not suspicious manner.

“Nothing,” he drags the word out, making it known that he, in fact, finds Minho suspicious. The silence is loud when Jeongin asks, “Did something happen?”

Minho chuckles nervously. “No,” proceeds to blow air incredulously, and then he bites his bottom lip, doesn’t dare to meet Jeongin’s eye for a second as his mind goes back to the image of Jisung rejecting him. Minho fails to shake the thought away. “Why? Did he tell you something happen?”

He grows nervous by the second and lets his finger play with the cap of the bottle of Tequila. Jeongin eases him. “No. I think he’s doing fine,” Minho locks their eyes together, “I mean, it’s not about him. I just thought it would be easier to talk about what’s bothering you with him, since he’s your best friend, you know?”

Minho stills. Jeongin is right, it’s totally logical and Minho absolutely didn’t think of doing that! Because hey! How simple would it just be to confess your feelings to your best friend who certainly doesn’t see you the same way! Silly him!

“Or you don’t have to, if it’s too tough. You can also talk about it with me? If you want,” Jeongin adds.

Minho appreciates the offer, he truly does, but he doesn’t understand why it would help. If anything, he doesn’t envision any scenario where this won’t fire back against him. He trusts Jeongin to be a good friend, but that doesn’t mean a good friend won’t go against your beliefs for your own good. Minho doesn’t think Jeongin’s perception of good and his merge together, so for now, he’s going to keep it all to himself. 

“I’m okay,” he ends up saying, even if they both know he’s lying. “I’m just having a rough day,” he starts explaining, hand running on his forehead to push his hair back with a sigh.

“Rough day or week?”

Minho throws him a murderous glare. Jeongin raises his hand defensively. “I’m just saying. I don’t like seeing you that way. Last time I did was before you met Jisung and I just don’t want to let it slide like I did then.”

Minho must have underestimated the liquor, because for what other reason would he let himself feel his emotions and feel the need to cry and spill it all while being in Jeongin’s arms. Thankfully, someone else barges up in the room unannounced. Um, delete that, thankful isn’t the right term.

“Minho, here you are!” Jisung screams even if the music isn’t that loud. He’s pretty sure everyone's heard him call for him, and the thought alone makes Minho drink another shot. Jeongin looks at him intently, but doesn’t say anything. “Chris is here!”

Gosh, Minho regrets not eating something before he left either, because the beverage is hitting him pretty fast. The reality does, too, in a delayed manner. “Chris is here?” he asks, barely realising who they’re talking about.

“Well, he’s leaving,” Hyunjin says from the doorframe of the kitchen, right behind Jeongin. Minho blinks a few times. When did he arrive?

Jisung is pulling Minho’s arms before he feels himself moving, “Yeah, so hurry up.” 

“What? Why?” he replies once he’s left the kitchen.

“Because you know him and he knows Changbin,” Jisung reasons as if it all makes sense. Minho thinks he sees why it does, but it might be the alcohol. Jisung doesn’t look too sober, either, but this might be just a detail. 

What Minho doesn’t get, however, is how Jisung still is into Changbin when it’s been… a month since he last mentioned him. 

Hyunjin frowns, following the two friends closely. “Who’s Changbin?”

Minho replies although he’s not the one being talked to. “Jisung’s crush.”

“The Twitter guy?”

“What Twitter guy?” If Minho keeps knitting his brows like that, he’s bound to get wrinkles. He somehow cannot find it in him to care.

Jisung groans. “No, that’s not him,” he replies to Hyunjin as he pushes Minho towards Chris.

“You have two crushes?” Minho finds himself asking aloud. He’s not understanding shit anymore.

“Um, yea? No? I don’t know.”

Minho throws a glance at Hyunjin, who shrugs. He’s glad to see he’s not the only one. They’re now standing in the middle of the living-room, and he feels a few stares on them, but none of them matter until his name is pronounced.

“Minho?”

At the mention, Jisung squeaks like a teenager and hides half of his body behind Minho as if it was him being called, which makes Hyunjin laugh. It takes a few seconds for Minho to realise who’s talking to him—and then decides he would have prefered not to know.

“Oh hey Chris,” he replies still, pretends he’s completely fine in meeting him again in that setting: embarrassingly tipsy over a few drinks and with his current crush standing behind him. Life doesn’t get any better.

As expected, Chris looks ravishing. He’s gone back to having brown hair, Minho learns, but his perfume and dimpled smile still are the same. “Wow, it’s been a while!” he says as if it wasn’t his fault. Minho stops and goes back—it isn’t anyone’s fault. Things just happened and it’s not bad they did. It got Minho to befriend Seungmin, and then Felix, Hyunjin and Jisung. 

So why doesn’t it feel like he’s winning now?

Chris tears his eyes off Minho to acknowledge both Hyunjin’s and Jisung’s presence with a nod and a kind face. Minho hates how it all seems easy for him, when it shouldn’t be difficult for him to begin with either. He was the one who didn’t reciprocate Chris’ feelings back then, so why did he get worked up over it? ‘Why is he still?’ is a better question.

(Because he knows deep down that the issue wasn’t a question of reciprocity, but more so one of admitting it to himself.)

However, Minho bites back saying something petty and instead does what he’s been brought here to do. “This is Hyunjin,” he smiles back, although robotic, “and Jisung,” Minho says as he pushes himself to the side so that Jisung stands in front of Chan.

“Nice to meet you,” he entertains, but immediately looks back at Minho. “I didn’t know you knew Felix.”

“Oh, I got to know him after…” ‘we were a thing’ is something he’s gonna keep silent. Given the look Chan is sending him, he understands. “I’m friends with Seungmin,” he explains himself better, which gives Hyunjin something to scoff about. Jisung is strangely quiet.

“Oh, I’m so gonna tell him you’ve said that,” Hyunjin teases, and then looks at Chris as if to fill him in on a private joke. “They work together and it’s kind of a thing for Minho to not say they’re friends.” Minho doesn’t like it, Chris shouldn’t be allowed to know about him and his life when Minho knows none of his business.

He laughs along and Minho suddenly feels the need to smoke. He’s stopped years ago; he was still trying when he first met Chris, which is probably why he feels the urge to light one or two in a row right now.

“Yeah, it does sound like Minho.” Their eyes meet and seem to say things aloud that hurt Minho like no others. It makes him feel the same way he did two years ago: small, too secretive in front of master of communication Chan. He knows deep down that it’s never been the eldest intention, but well, Minho did feel this way and still does, and there’s nothing he can really do about it.

“That’s Jisung,” he finally speaks up, repeating what he previously said in an attempt to bring the attention somewhere else. He looks at his best friend, whose eyes are as wide as saucers, and in that moment, guilt comes and kicks him in the guts. Still he continues, “He’s a music major, so I guess you two have things to talk about.” 

There, he did what Jisung wanted from him, even if it’s done awkwardly. It’s not like Minho didn’t warn him. 

“Oh yeah?” Chris asks, interest picked, because of course he cares. If it had been him introducing his best friends to Minho, he’s pretty sure he wouldn’t have given it more thought. But that’s where they differ, and why it didn’t work then.

He cuts the newly formed conversation to at least announce he’s leaving. “I’m gonna smoke,” he doesn’t filter, which confuses everyone around him.

“You still smoke?” Chris asks, while Jisung simply asks, “You smoke?”

“No,” Minho says, which makes everyone even more confused. “Just, yeah,” he breathes out in an attempt to explain the situation until he realises he doesn’t care enough to give them that. No one stops him from going to the other side of the apartment, and Minho likes it that way, even if a part of him hoped Jisung would stop him. 

He only realises once he’s out that he doesn’t bear cigarettes on him anymore, since it’s been two years since he last smoked one. So he fights his will to stay alone and cuts the conversation the two persons have going on next to him to ask them for a cigarette. The girl is nice enough to give him one, and even offers to light it up for him—whether it is out of pity or kindness, Minho doesn’t bother understanding.

It’s the cheapest, yet best cigarette he’s ever smoked. He takes drags after drags until he reaches the orange part of it, and yet, Minho is hungry for more. The couple has left right after they’ve given it to him, but it feels like an eternity away already. He looks up at the starry sky and wishes he wasn’t feeling this way. He wants to cry, but he forces himself not to.

It’s stupid to feel the need to tear up over something so silly as someone from the past ressurging back out of nowhere (even if he’s sure scholars would probably beg to differ) and it’s whole lot stupider to actually cry thinking of your best friend, when Jisung’s supposed to be a safe place to him. This time, he doesn’t give a fuck about what scientists have to say on any of the emotions he’s feeling about that, because how in the hell would they know a quarter of what Minho’s going through?

He misses the times where he didn’t feel that way for Jisung, but then again he cannot remember a time where he didn’t. From the very first time he’s seen Jisung’s face, he’s felt love, even if he didn’t know then that it would grow to be the type of love that movies, books, or even stupid fanfictions talk about. 

It fucking sucks.

“That much?” a voice comes from behind, and Minho realises he’s spoken aloud. He is quick to dry his right cheek before he turns around, with an exhale.

“You left Jisung?”

Hyunjin gives him a smile. “He was talking with Chris and I didn’t feel like talking about uni right now.”

“You’re not a music major though,” Minho reminds him. Hyunjin’s presence soothes him down, for some reasons.

“Same difference,” he approaches the barrier and puts his back to it to face Minho. It is clear he wants to say something, but he doesn’t know how. Minho both hates what he’s become, and who he is making others be.

“You want to go home?” Hyunjin offers for the first time since Jisung and Minho have taken a habit to bother him about it. It’s always Jisung and Minho begging him for a ride, not the other way around. Minho is tempted to make the most of it, just to honour it, but he shakes his head no.

“You want to cry?” Hyunjin tilts his head, and Minho gives him a look.

“I just did.”

“Yeah, I know. I saw you try to hide it before I walked in,” he chuckles, but it isn’t mocking. Minho lets himself breathe for the first time tonight and smiles at his friend. “I’m sorry for earlier. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

“You didn’t,” Minho is quick to correct. “I guess the whole situation did,” he throws a glance back to the living-room, where he has no idea if Chris and Jisung are, anymore.

Hyunjin nods, “Yeah, I get it.”

They stay there in silence for a few minutes more, until Hyunjin breaks it. “You want me to go?”

Minho doesn’t know how to say yes, but Hyunjin seems to get it. He’s thankful he’s come to check on him, and he feels better than he did before, but he figures he still needs more time to himself to process what happened.

“I’ll be with Jisung then,” he stands up and walks past Minho, “you can join us whenever you’re ready.”

Minho nods, knowing that it’s the truth. And with that Hyunjin is back to the living-room. His phone lights up in his hand as he clicks on it—it’s a bit more than a quarter past eleven, yet Minho feels like three hours have passed ever since he left his place.

He texts Jeongin to ask if they are still going home together, which Jeongin says yes to, and asks if he wants to go now. Minho doesn’t want to ruin his night more than he’s done already, so he replies no. They agree on texting each other if the situation changes, and with that out of the way, Minho goes on Tiktok to distract himself. It works wonders, because when he leaves the app thirty minutes later to join the party as they wish Seungmin a happy birthday and eat the cake, he barely remembers the reason he’s been sad to begin with.

He takes a cocktail when a toast in Seungmin’s honour is done—this time it’s sweeter, less destructive than the shots he drank previously. He stays with the crowd a bit longer, and appreciates the birthday cake like the best thing he’s eaten in the whole week. He congrats Felix for it too, which makes him go on a rant on the ingredients he used and the recipe he followed. Minho listens gladly, and lets someone serve him a second glass of the punch he’s just finished.

He feels the right amount of tipsy when he meets Jisung and Hyunjin again, laughing like two idiots on the couch, which indicates to him they both are in the same situation as him. The sight makes him smile too, and without a thought, he sits next to Jisung. “What are you guys laughing about?”

They both turn their face to him, and while Jisung’s smile falters for a reason Minho doesn’t (want to) know, Hyunjin’s drunk mouth becomes Minho’s best ally. “People on Twitter.” 

“What did they do?” He sits more comfortably, as if nothing happened earlier. 

“Nothing,” Jisung replies sheepishly at the same moment Hyunjin answers, “Write dumb shit.”

Jisung stills while Hyunjin goes on, “Hyung, do you know what omegaverse is?”

Minho certainly has not heard that right. “Omegaverse?”

“Yeah. You know, wolf fucking,” he then starts laughing histerically, and that seems to be the only thing that makes Jisung laugh along.

“It’s not wolf fucking!”

“How would you know?” Hyunjin counters, wiggling his eyebrows until Jisung punches him playfully.

That’s when Minho butts in. “He’s right, though. Alphas are the only ones acting like beasts, but that’s just because of their ruts.”

Which he immediately regrets when the two friends stop their silly fight to look at him with surprise. He holds no hopes for Jisung, but he silently prays that Hyunjin is too drunk to remember about this tomorrow. “Now, how would you know that Hyung!”

“What do you think got me out of Yuri on Ice, ” Minho jokes, but he truly wishes he had not seen half of the shit he’s seen in that fandom.

Hyunjin seems to be gone, and while Jisung and Minho follow him in his laughter, they calm down before he does.

Jisung takes the chance. “Thank you. You know, for Chris. I wanted to come and thank you earlier, but Hyunjin told me you needed time alone.”

Minho nods, making a mental note of taking Hyunjin out to thank him eventually one of these days. “It’s okay. You got Changbin’s number?”

“Yup,” he accentuates on the p. “Although Chris believes it’s because I needed help from a senior.”

Minho snorts. “Well, the most important thing is that you’ve got his number at least.” Jisung nods in agreement and they both stare at each other before Minho speaks again. “And what about that other crush Hyunjin talked about?”

Jisung seems shy suddenly. But Minho doesn’t want to give up without a fight, “You’ve met him on Twitter, right?” 

He wonders for a second why Jisung didn’t tell him about it; is a little hurt by the realisation that he’s been hiding stuff from him. But at the same time, he knows it is cheeky of him to be sad over that when he’s been hiding plenty of things from Jisung. Starting by the nature of his feelings for him, all the way to his own Twitter fan account. 

He knows they’re not comparable, but he doesn’t care either. 

“Met is a huge word,” Jisung ends up answering, slowly opening up. “We follow each other, but we haven’t really talked yet.” 

“Jisung is too scared to send a dm,” Hyunjin finally comes back into the conversation. 

Minho raises a brow, eyes focusing on Jisung. “How come?”

The latter blushes, or maybe Minho is envisioning. Maybe it’s the dim lights, maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the conversation—either way, Minho finds him cute. He realises he’s hopeless when Jisung opens his mouth to talk about another guy that’s not him, “Because… ugh, he’s just really intimidating? And we’ve talked a few times on the timeline, but it’s mostly me pushing it. I’m scared to bother.”

Minho doesn’t like the sound of that. He doesn’t believe there is anyone in this world that could be annoyed by Jisung’s presence, and he stands by that, in a truly unbiased way. It also makes him wonder if that’s the type of people Jisung usually falls for, and if he should rebrand.

“Just do it!” Hyunjin shouts before Minho can say anything. “If he doesn’t like it, then he didn’t have to accept dms from people he doesn’t know!” 

Hyunjin’s determination makes Jisung laugh, meanwhile something ugly grows inside of Minho. He only then rationalises that if Jisung is either to have a thing for anyone that isn’t him, it might be better if it’s on the guy on Twitter that surely lives in another country rather than real, physical, totally-Jisung’s-type Changbin. Fuck if the other guy ends up being a criminal.

A little jealousy has never killed anybody, he reassures himself. 

He pushes away the feeling of being a bad, self-centred friend as he motivates Jisung, too. “Yeah, you should dm him. Either he replies and you get what you want, or either he doesn’t and at least you’ve tried.” 

Jisung seems to weigh his options some more, until he ultimately thinks they’re right. “But what do I say?”

Hyunjin sounds done with him. Or he’s really sleepy. Maybe both. “I don’t know, something dumb and cute like ‘hi, i love you.’” 

Jisung cringes as an uncontrollable smile creeps up on his face. “Ain’t no way I’m sending that.” 

He turns to Minho in need of help, but Minho kind of feels bad for encouraging all that to happen. “Just don’t send anything that will get you doxxed.” 

Hyunjin laughs at the advice, but Minho thinks it’s always important to remind Jisung—those 2000s babies have no sense of stranger danger!

Jisung’s lips are becoming red from how much he’s been biting it, and no, Minho doesn’t know because he’s been looking. Hyunjin seems to have enough as well. “Just send hey.”

“But what if he answers, what am I going to say ne—”

“You’ll see when he answers,” Minho backs up. “Start off simple.”

Jisung seems resigned as he clicks on his profile to check his followers, and Minho swears he doesn’t want to look, but the colours do seem a little familiar, even if Jisung has Twitter in night mode—it only takes a second, so he doesn’t bother connecting the dots. 

But he does a minute later, after Jisung has typed the three-letters word down and Hyunjin presses send before he could, which leads them to bicker once more while Minho’s screen lights up and the message shows up. 

sam @catboireki

hey

What the fuck has he gotten himself into?

✎✎✎

It’s been five days.

Minho has yet to realise what’s happening—although he can feel it’s gonna hit him soon, and hard.

When Minho saw the dm, he didn’t think much of it at first. He sort of put the thought aside for the rest of the night, only to let it consume him once he was alone again, ready to head for bed, which led to a multitude of feelings to take place within himself.

Confusion was the first to arise, but it left as soon as it came. He didn’t even have the time to be surprised, things were already the way they were, and looking back on the few interactions Bun and Sam had, it made sense for Sam to be Jisung. Or for Jisung to be Sam? Minho was getting a little lost here.

And then, when the realisation sunk in, Minho couldn’t help the shit-eating grin from stretching the corner of his lips. Jisung has a crush on him. Only to fade away pretty fast as well. Jisung doesn’t have a crush on him, but on Bun. Minho’s cooler alter ego—although reality isn’t even half as cool as that. Bun just happens to be a guy on Twitter whose writing Jisung likes, but that’s all. It’s not like he knows the first thing about Bun, nor like Bun’s online persona is anything reliable.

Still, with the last drops of alcohol residing in Minho’s body, the thought warmed his heart for a second. And perhaps it’s what encouraged him to reply and entertain this bullshit.

Bun @bluemoon 

Hey!

What he didn’t expect is that this would be the start to a never-ending conversation—or what seems to be it. 

Minho would know. He’s had plenty of those with Jisung in real life. And well, Sam is Jisung. He needs to remind himself at least twice a day, each every four or five hours, but then again, it’s not like Sam is making it hard to forget.

He talks and makes the same exact lame jokes Jisung says to Minho on a daily basis, which doesn’t help his case. And because Minho knows Sam’s identity, it somehow makes him paranoid that deep down Jisung knows his, too.

Because how come, in the entirety of writers this fandom has, Jisung decided to have a crush on Bun?

And yes, maybe Minho is a little insane, and does ask questions that would potentially make Jisung slip and reveal his true intentions for the first two days they’re talking. Sam sounds clueless though, but it isn’t enough for Minho to let his guard down.

It also crosses his mind that maybe, just maybe, Bun looks suspicious too. Given how Sam reacts to his texts, how he writes and uses the same emojis as Jisung would, Minho starts to overthink their interactions.

Should he change the way he talks so that Jisung doesn’t recognise him? Wait, does he even have a specific way of talking? He’s pretty sure he’s got one in person, but is it also getting transcribed through texts? If yes, will Jisung even recognise it?

Minho’s certain he would for Jisung’s, just because that’s what people do with their best friends. And crushes. It doesn’t really matter, since Jisung checks both cases. It also doesn’t help knowing if Minho is unrecognisable.

In conclusion, Minho is bad at this double-identity thing. There’s even a moment, right before the one week mark goes by, where Minho thinks he should stop what he’s doing. This is Jisung he’s talking about and to, and he doesn’t want to play with his friend’s feelings. He knows way too well how hurtful this can get, and he’d be dead before he’ll become the one to make Jisung feel bad on purpose.

But he doesn’t realise how far this whole situation has truly gone until he hears Jisung talk about it when they meet again.

Of course, he’s not the one to start the conversation. Jisung isn’t either—it’s Hyunjin, who apparently remembers everything of that night, much to Minho’s regret. Everything, except the correct name.

“How are things going with Changbin?” he asks between two bites during a silence at lunch.

Minho freezes on the spot, suddenly feeling betrayed that Jisung has apparently entertained something with him while he’s been continuously talking to Bun. He almost feels cheated on, which is the stupidest thought he’s had so far ever since this started.

Jisung, on the other hand, laughs wholeheartedly. “You mean Bun?”

Jeongin is there too. He doesn’t budge, but Minho knows he’s listening. Minho keeps eating, trying to appear calm, although it is him they’re discussing.

Hyunjin frowns. “Wasn’t there a Changbin?”

Jisung almost seems annoyed. “Yes. But I haven’t talked to him yet,” he says simply. Minho hates that he feels relieved.

Hyunjin’s state of confusion doesn’t look like it’s ending anytime near, so Minho decides to help him out. “Changbin is Chris’ friend. Jisung’s ex crush?” he almost asks, but Jisung doesn’t speak on it, “Bun is Jisung’s most recent crush, you know, the Insta guy?”

He purposefully makes the mistake, which Jisung is quick to correct. “Twitter.”

“Ah,” Hyunjin inhales and exhales as if it abruptly all came back to him. “Whatever,” the word makes Jeongin snort. “How is it going with him?” Hyunjin asks again.

The question intrigues everyone at the table; all eyes lean on Jisung.

He seems shy, averts his own when he replies. “Well. We’ve been talking every day for almost a week and I think…” he looks at his friends, the tip of his ears bright red. He decides not to end his sentence, but instead concludes with, “It’s going well.”

“C’mon, give us more details!” Hyunjin demands excitedly, which makes Jisung laugh.

“There’s not much to say! No, for real,” he adds, shaking his hands as he meets Hyunjin’s annoyed stare. “It’s just been a week so like, of course I’m not gonna know his whole life, but it’s easy to talk to him and he’s really nice.”

The smile Jisung displays is timid, but beautiful, and Minho isn’t sure if he’s ever seen one like this ever sent his way. He feels a little blinded, blinking multiple times as he registers the words and understands what they mean.

Jisung thinks he’s nice. Well, yeah, fucking dumb ass , this isn’t supposed to be news. But he thinks Bun , which for this one time Minho is glad to acknowledge it is him, is nice, and the thought alone makes his heart race a little further.

It also makes his late-night thoughts go away, and the next sentence seals the deal.

“I don’t know where this is going, but I just don’t want it to stop.” Jisung’s smile reaches his eyes while Hyunjin coos, and Minho decides he’d do everything to see Jisung like that everyday, even if that means hiding more secrets from him.

✎✎✎

catboireki
i can’t believe i called it fic of the year, which it!!! is!!! before i even read it. ahhhh i swear ill never get tired of reading ur fics!!! renga embodies the best friends to lovers trope and no one can tell me im wrong!!! thank u for this omggg!!! the theme park scene had me gasping!!!!! i could picture it as if i were there too, that’s what’s insane with ur writing!! it was super familiar and somehow personal?? i was so drawn to this story and them!!! also the machablossom on the side 👀👀 do u plan on writing a sequel for them…? (pls say yes)

Minho lets out a nervous laugh, but answers still.

 

Bluemoon
Thank you so much for commenting! Please the trope was literally made for them and yes it’s canon!! Haha thank you, I’m glad you could visualise the scenes clearly, I’m always scared of messing that up and not putting enough details into them, so this means a lot. Also for that machablossom… it wasn’t planned but I guess i’ll see what I can do 👀

Ten minutes later, Minho’s phone buzzes with a new Twitter notification.

sam @catboireki

shut up

i know ur not fr

Bun @bluemoon

About?:3

sam @catboireki

MACHABLOSSOM SEQUEL????

im gonna fling myself into the sun

Minho laughs, earning a strange look from Jeongin who’s sitting next to him on the sofa. Minho mouths a ‘sorry’ .

sam @catboireki

can u believe they invented domesticity???

Bun @bluemoon

Actually

If I am to write them, I want to take my time

Like full 20k exploration of their relationship and how they became parents of these two idiots

sam @catboireki reacted with a ❤️!

sam @catboireki

what i read is u wanna kiss me

Ha. If only he knew.

But this was said to Bun, so he can allow some flirting.

Bun @bluemoon

What if I do…

sam @catboireki

wait im gay panicking

ive never gone this far

Minho snorts again. This time he doesn’t turn around to confront Jeongin’s stare, he’s too busy pretending he knows nothing of Jisung to keep the conversation going with Sam.

Bun @bluemoon

You’ve never dated anyone?

sam @catboireki

uh

not really?

is that a turn off or smtg

Bun @bluemoon

Lmao why would it be

sam @catboireki

yeah right

some ppl jerk off the thought of virgin corruption

Bun @bluemoon

Is that a call out

sam @catboireki

maybe

Bun @bluemoon

Okay but like that was one fic I retweeted

sam @catboireki

Too much already

Bun @bluemoon

Don’t you dare judge my taste in fics 

Also, isn’t that supposed to go in your way?

sam @catboireki

oh yea ur right

keep going i love it!!

“Who are you talking to?” Jeongin finally voices after hearing Minho giggle for the third time in less than five minutes.

Minho goes silent, which leads to Jeongin changing his question. “Is it Jisung?”

He doesn’t exactly know how to answer this, and for a second, he’s tempted to tell everything to Jeongin, but instead, he ends up going for what is supposed to be the truth to Bun’s limited knowledge. “Nah. Just someone on Twitter.”

“Ah,” Jeongin sounds disinterested, eyes focusing back on the book he has in hands.

Minho touches his screen, but doesn’t get the time to read the next message Sam has sent him before Jeongin speaks again. “Are you sure it’s not Jisung?”

Minho snorts as he stops typing. “Uh, yeah. I’m sure.” 

“I could’ve sworn it was Jisung, though,” Jeongin gives it more thought than the essay he’s trying to write for his class. “You got that same face you usually have when you’re around him.”

Minho raises a brow, curious. “What face?”

Jeongin looks at him in the eyes, and deadpans. “A dumb one.”

Minho doesn’t even bother asking where the respect for his elder went—it’s not like Jeongin cares, Minho’s learned that at his own detriment. “You’re the dumb one,” he replies as he clicks on his phone, not caring whether Jeongin is still trying to make the conversation go further or not.

sam @catboireki

no but

to be completely honest with you

i’ve dated someone before

There are other messages after, but Minho smiles at this because he knows that already. He keeps reading, and his smile falters.

but i’ve never had sex

Minho doesn’t know yet who Jisung is lying to, but he is quick to find out.

don’t tell my best friend tho

Bun @bluemoon

How and why would I tell them

Also, if it’s not too much to ask, why did you hide it from them?

He sees the three dots dance and this time, it isn’t the excitement he’s previously felt that’s rushing through his veins, but his stomach twisting with something ugly. 

Sam is taking too long to answer, so Minho adds. 

They must be a shit friend if you felt the need to do as such..?

The dots disappear, and for a second Minho is scared he’s pushed too far, although he’s pretty sure it’s himself they’re talking about. Sam doesn’t know he knows, though. It’s always the same issue, isn’t it?

sam @catboireki

he’s not!!!! 

he’s just

okay so it’s kinda stupid lmao

but like. when we first met, he just seemed to be the type to have lived plenty of things (and he did, or so i learned after we grew closer) and idk, im really different from him and ik he would never judge me for that, it’s just that i 

it sounds ridiculous

but i wanted to impress him? sort of 

Minho blinks a few times at the admittance. 

Jeongin is here to break the moment, again. “See, you still have that dumb face.”

Minho throws a pillow at him. 

Bun @bluemoon

Why? 

Is what he asks despite all the other questions that are popping in his head. 

sam @catboireki

ahhhhh

im not sure it’s the best thing for us to talk about? given our situation

if that makes sense? 

sorry ㅠㅠ

Minho doesn’t get it, but one thing he knows is to not push Jisung’s clumsy attempt at putting boundaries. 

Bun @bluemoon

It’s okay, dw! 

He so badly wants to ask why they can’t talk about it, what situation they’re apparently in, but Jeongin’s stare on him feels heavy, and he’s not sure he wants to dismantle all of that within his presence.

I have to go, but it was nice talking with you!! :3

sam @catboireki

oh okay

ttyl?

Bun @bluemoon reacted with a ❤️!

Minho stays off Twitter, but the conversation doesn’t leave his mind for all that. Jeongin notices it. “You guys fought?” 

Minho is pulled out of his reverie. “What?”

“You and Jisung? You fought?” 

“I told you I wasn’t talking to him.” 

Jeongin looks unphased. “C’mon Minho, your mouth can lie all you want, but your face doesn’t.”

Minho doesn’t answer, which seems to spite him. “Ugh, why do you act so blind?” Minho genuinely has no idea what he’s talking about. Or maybe he does and he’s trying to dodge a bullet. Jeongin doesn’t have to know. 

“Whatever,” he shakes his head and gets up. “You can’t hide forever, you know,” he says, and Minho is suddenly brought back to middle school, when his parents would scold him for acting childish. “He’s gonna know,” is all Jeongin says before he leaves the room. 

And even if Jeongin certainly is referring to something without having any idea of what he's talking about, the sentence echoes in Minho’s brain until he falls asleep that night. 

Jisung is going to know.  

✎✎✎

sam @catboireki

uni is killing me

Bun @bluemoon

Same

sam @catboireki

u feel me

wait ur still in uni?

Bun @bluemoon

Oh

No lol

I meant like work, but uni used to kill me just the same

At least I get paid for it now 

sam @catboireki reacted with a 😂!

sam @catboireki

i wish

where do u work btw? if u don’t mind me asking? 

Minho ponders. He’s not going to get exposed just because he mentions the bookstore, right? He’s not the first person ever to be selling books in the whole wide world, and it’s not like he’s going to even mention the name of the shop, nor as if Sam knew where he lived. 

It’s safe, his brain quickly weighs down. 

Bun @bluemoon

In a bookstore

Very cliché, I know 

sam @catboireki reacted with a 😂!

sam @catboireki

i was about to say lmao

u must have been told that often by irl friends

Bun @bluemoon

?

sam @catboireki

since u write fics and all, yk?

Bun @bluemoon

Ah, my irl friends don’t know

I’d rather die than admit it

sam @catboireki reacted with a 😂!

i mean why would i want to tell them I write gay fics to deal w my desperate love life lol

He’s not completely joking here. 

sam @catboireki

oh yeah? why? 

oh wait u just answered already

mine know about me reading fics lmao it was embarrassing but like i have dirtier shit on them so its fine 

Bun @bluemoon

I don’t know? It’s not like I have a reason or anything, it’s just that it’s never been their thing? 

Minho doesn’t talk about the part where writing fanfiction used to be a hobby he enjoyed on his own, simply because he had no one to share it with. He started consuming fanfictions way before he watched Sk8 the Infinity , but there is just something about the show that made him want to take part and contribute to it as well. Fucking hell, if you ask him. 

sam @catboireki

oh yeah, that makes sense

Bun @bluemoon

Also did you just admit you’d blackmail your friends without any qualms? 

sam @catboireki

… 

perhaps

Minho starts rethinking everything he’s done in Jisung’s presence, just to ease his conscience. Despite the threat, he finds himself grinning like a fool once he lets his phone down and focuses back on the books he’s supposed to put away. 

“What?” he asks when he feels Seungmin’s eyes lingering on him. 

His friend seems to analyse him once more before he replies, “Nothing.” which means the absolute opposite.

✎✎✎

It’s been two days since Sam last sent a text, and although Minho saw Jisung the day before, it feels weird to find his phone lacking notifications from him. 

Minho could just text Jisung, but then he wouldn't get to flirt with him and have the words reciprocated. 

Bun @bluemoon

Hey

Are you up? 

Minho grins as the response comes less than a minute later. 

sam @catboireki

hey, yes!!

do u need me for smtg? 

or u just missed me that bad ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Maybe the answer is the latter. Surely Minho is going to use the first text as an excuse. 

Bun @bluemoon

Why would I miss you…

Actually I do need you!

sam @catboireki

bc im funny, lovable, and really hot

also i didn’t text in two days and suddenly ur in my dms

sounds an awful lot like ur in love w me bun

Bun @bluemoon reacted with a 👎!

stop booing me u know im right!

also shoot

Jisung is, in fact, right, but Minho isn’t going to tell him that. 

Bun @bluemoon

I’m going to ignore that

I need to know your favourite trope/ship dynamic…

sam @catboireki

👀

see ur making it extra hard for me not to say ur in love with me

Bun @bluemoon reacted with a 👎!

Bun @bluemoon

I never said I was writing anything for you

sam @catboireki reacted with a 👎!

sam @catboireki

i never said anything about you writing smtg for me :3

but now u kinda gave yourself away 

also ik damn well this must mean something for you bc you don’t write fics for just anyone

(yes maybe i stalked u a bit and took notes of every dms u ever sent)

(don’t call the cops on me i swear im sane)

Bun @bluemoon reacted with a 😂!

Bun @bluemoon

You sound insane though

sam @catboireki

and you love it!!

anyway i love best friends to lovers, i love when character a has a crush on character b, and b knows it but doesn't tell a until a confesses!!! i love idiots in love basically

Bun @bluemoon reacted with a ❤️!

Bun @bluemoon

Damn, B is sneaky

sam @catboireki reacted with a 😂!

sam @catboireki

not sneaky, he just likes things being spelled out to him

Bun @bluemoon

Ok so that’s gonna be Kaoru

sam @catboireki

stop reading my mind or we’re gonna make out fr 

Bun @bluemoon

Maybe that’s what I’m trying to achieve

sam @catboireki

shut up

but also don’t

Bun @bluemoon

Make up your mind kitty

sam @catboireki

[rest]  

Bun @bluemoon reacted with a 😂!

✎✎✎

Minho wonders why all of a sudden he’s being like this. 

He swears he’s loved Jisung right from the very first time he’s met him, or well, maybe not Love because it’s a strong word and emotion (and it kind of used to scare him to categorise it as such), but there was definitely something. From the moment they first joked with each other, jumping to the time Jisung asked to follow Minho on his socials (like true friends do… Minho doesn’t have any idea what he’s talking about), to when they started seeing each other sporadically until it became a daily occurence—Minho has known. He’s known , and yet he’s let himself get carried again. 

Because he truly didn’t think it would go this far; it never did. 

It’s been a recurrent pattern in his life after all: go to school, make friends, leave school, leave friends. He’s never understood the point of getting attached to things that he knows are ephemeral. 

But it’s been different with Jisung, and he has yet to figure out why—or how. 

It’s made him realise plenty of things about himself, too. Maybe he’s not as awful as people paint him to be. By people, read him, himself. Although he’s quite sure others have thought of him that way before, too. His mind absolutely doesn’t go to his first girlfriend, Yunjin, whom he left without a warning as soon as Summer began back in sixth grade. It was logical anyway, but he’s not here to talk about past failed experiences. Or is he? Gosh, no one has ever taught him what’s acceptable to think or say aloud. 

So he doesn’t, plain and simple. He gathers thoughts and emotions as if he collects them, puts them behind the best display case he can imagine, and lets them sit there, almost forgetting he once gave them attention. 

But just like the sun reflects on a window and blinds you accidentally, his crush on Jisung sometimes makes him stop in his tracks and look right at it. It’s blinding and often hurts, and he knows it would be easier to deal with it if he just changed perspectives—yet he’s too attracted to the feeling to do so. Plus, it’s easier to complain. Or to be stuck in his ways. Not that he is complaining. Nor stuck. He’s not. 

He’s going too far. Back to the start. Why is he like this? 

Context: It’s Minho’s birthday. 

Anyone and everyone knows Minho doesn’t like the day. It’s not even about celebrating, he doesn’t mind partying, he just doesn't think that the fact it is supposedly his day makes it any more of a better day to get drunk than any other. 

That’s what he says to people. People like Hyunjin or Seungmin, who learned about the date on the very day. 

Jisung knows better. He knows about failed childhood birthday parties and the lack of people coming to them. Minho had not meant to talk about it; he doesn’t like being pitied and he knew damn well that’s what Jisung was going to do once he’d learned about it. What Minho did want to talk about was Doongie. The little kitty his parents adopted to gift Minho on his fourteenth birthday. 

Jisung wondered why, and Minho made a cynic joke about it being the only friend he’s got to come, and well, maybe that’s when Minho did start having a crush. Because until then, Jisung had been predictable, reliable. But then, he didn’t pity him like he had expected him to. No, instead, he joked about it. As if he had known exactly what Minho had wanted to hear then, as if he had gotten to know Minho like the back of his hand without him noticing. 

And so, for the next two years, Jisung has made sure Minho wasn’t alone on that day. The first year, they weren’t close friends yet and Jisung got told about this story once the date had already passed. Last year, it had been a little complicated given Minho had gone home to celebrate it with his parents and Doongie like he usually did, but the fact Jisung ended up calling him later that night made up for it. 

This year, well. Jisung has been the one to knock on Minho’s door, two hours before midnight. (And Minho knew beforehand that he was coming, because Bun had been told. He gulps down the sudden guilt he’s feeling and tries to enjoy his best friend’s presence.)

Minho doesn’t like his birthday, but he hates it even more when he gets wishes for it before due time. Jisung knows . So he gets in with a sly smile that, in Minho’s opinion, is even more blatant than the words, and heads straight for Minho’s room, where Minho was previously. 

And the thing is, they don’t do anything in particular. Jisung gets comfortable and tells Minho about his day, how late he ran to classes this morning, how little sleep he got the previous night (which Minho already knows because he was the one he was talking to), and how tired he is. And yet, he’s here. 

And it’s in moments like that, when Jisung whispers to him the words he’s always hated, those who always made him feel lonely, that he knows why he’s like that, why he’s ready to ruin the friendship because of what he’s feeling—why he likes him. Falling for Jisung has not been sudden, it’s just been unprompted, unforecasted. 

Minho was rooted so deep in this unlovable mindset that he didn’t think that love itself would come and sweep him off his feet the very next day. And yet, Jisung arrived. Local weather in Minho city: average winds of gummy smiles will be Southwest at 3 MPH during the morning and turbulent storms of feelings will be Northwest at 4 MPH during the afternoon. 

Either way, Minho’s febrile umbrella is screwed. 

✎✎✎

Jisung’s stomach grumbles, which elicits a laugh from Minho’s mouth.

“We should order something,” Minho suggests after they played Genshin Impact for the past three hours. 

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking,” Jisung giggles, but it is quickly replaced by a groan.“Ugh, seriously?”

Minho tears his eyes away from the TV where Xiao stands still and turns around to look at him, brows knitted together as to why he’s reacting like that. The answer soon becomes evident when Jisung shows his phone with a black screen, which makes Minho smirk. 

“No battery left?”

“It literally shut off as I was quitting the app, I swear,” he keeps mumbling words Minho can’t make out as he stands up to turn off his Playstation. 

“It’s okay, you can take my phone to order something,” he says, back facing his best friend as he puts his controller to charge. 

The room goes silent for an instant, which has Minho frowning yet again. He turns around to see Jisung on his phone, brows knitted and eyes focused, lips red because he surely bit them a second before. “You’re okay?” 

This seems to shake Jisung out of his reverie. “Uh, yeah. Just struggling to know what I want to eat.” 

Minho chuckles at that, taking the phone back in his hand and looking through the delivery apps. 

After a moment, when nothing to eat in particular comes to mind, he speaks again, “Does that mean we’re gonna end up at the shop at the corner of the street to eat cheap preheated noodles?”

Jisung giggles, knowing damn well that’s exactly how it’ll go. “I’ll go put my shoes on.” 

✎✎✎

Honestly, Minho knows he’s playing with fire. But each text he receives from Sam brings a smile on both his face and Jisung’s, so truly, there isn't a really good reason to stop it. 

sam @catboireki

cats or dogs?

Bun @bluemoon 

Cats 

Is the only correct answer

sam @catboireki

ik i could trust u!!

(me too, if it wasn’t obvious)

Bun @bluemoon 

Nah dw your @ didn’t give you away

sam @catboireki reacted with a 😂!

sam @catboireki

cool i wanted to remain undercover

Bun @bluemoon 

You're doing a good job dw

Wait is it my turn to ask a question

?

sam @catboireki

yea, if u want to :3

Bun @bluemoon

Well, do you have a cat?

Or you're just a furry?

sam @catboireki

IM SORRY WHTASGD

I CANT BELIEVE U JUST CALLED ME THAT???

Bun @bluemoon reacted with a 😂!

STOP LAUGHING???

okay but catboys are not even remotely close to furryism

(also do /u/ have a cat?)

Bun @bluemoon

They do sound pretty close to it to me though?

sam @catboireki reacted with a 👎!

Minho wonders if he should lie about Doongie’s existence, and then realises that the little devil will somehow learn about it and make sure to make his existence a living hell. 

(I do have one)

sam @catboireki

u literally decided ur dn to be bun 

so like whos truly a furry here

Touché , Minho grins. He enjoys messing around with Sam way too much for his own good. 

(that’s so cool!!!! do u have pics?)

Bun @bluemoon

Is that ur way of asking if it’s my real name or smtg

Is what Minho sends as a way to avoid continuing the cat conversation. And it works. 

Also what if my irl name was Bun? You just bashed it for what?!

(it’s not, tho)

sam @catboireki reacted with a 😂!

sam @catboireki

SHUT UP

also …

maybe i did lol

am i that easy to read?

Minho likes to think it’s because he knows him better than anyone else, but again, Sam doesn’t know that.

Bun @bluemoon

I guess I just had a feeling

sam @catboireki

is that your way of letting me down softly

i mean

u don’t have to tell me ur irl name if u don’t feel comfy sharing it

but like

just so you know

if you asked for mine i would give it to you

Just like that, fun’s over. The words are hard to swallow.

Bun @bluemoon

What if I was a killer or something?

sam @catboireki reacted with a 😂!

sam @catboireki

dude u sound exactly like my best friend

Minho’s heart stops.

but also pls don’t be a killer?

He jumps on the occasion to switch subjects.

Bun @bluemoon

I'm not… unless… haha

sam @catboireki

stop being stupid fjdsdhfdz

u don’t know where i live either way

It isn’t working wonders, admittedly. But hey, better that than the mention of his government name.

Bun @bluemoon

Well I know you live in the same timezone as me

So that’s a start

sam @catboireki

i could be visiting another country?

Bun @bluemoon

For nearly the two months we’ve been talking? 

sam @catboireki

ever heard of gap years? 

Bun @bluemoon

Are you doing a gap year abroad? 

sam @catboireki

no

but like

i could be

Minho looks stupid grinning at his phone like a teenager in the darkness of his room. He knows he’s going to regret it tomorrow, or in three hours to be more precise, when he’ll have to wake up for work. 

But he so badly wants to talk to Jisung more, to try and catch more details about him that he’s missed by hanging out with him in real life, as psycho as it sounds. Maybe he does fit the profile of a killer. 

He knows it is bad, deep down, that it is a private violation of Jisung’s intimacy, and he swears it truly isn’t what he wants—that this very factor has been at the centre of multiple crises he’s had whenever he replayed the events in his head. The one that makes him want to ultimately stop this bullshit, but one message from Sam and he’s gone for another round again. 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. 

sam @catboireki

anyway

what i wanted to say initially is you don’t have to tell me your name if you don’t feel like it. but also

wow this is stressful

lol

anyway

i sort of caught feelings for you? ik we haven’t been talking for that long and that, in the grand scheme of things, idk much about you, but like. i know about the way you speak, how talented you are, about the way you joke around, the topics you stand for and your love for cats, and it just makes me want to know more about you? if you’d let me?

Minho is terrified. This is exactly what he feared would happen, and yet it is happening, and there is no way for him to stop things from occurring. There’s a second where his heart stops beating and brain threatens that this is all his fault. And well, it’s not completely wrong. Minho knew this was a possibility, and he let it happen because of how selfish he is. 

He lets the notifications rot on his lockscreen, not daring to open the dms, let alone answer them. 

He’s gone too far and done too much already, maybe it would be simpler to just leave things the way they are? 

He knows Jisung deserves an explanation, but he is not sure the one he’s going to give him is good enough. He’s been too greedy, and now is time for payback, but Minho has yet to figure out how he can ever fix the mess he’s just made. 

✎✎✎

It doesn’t take long before the news is spread. 

It starts with Hyunjin, as it often does, Minho remarks as he hears him and Seungmin talk about it. 

This time they’re at his place, three days after the incident , or what Minho likes to call it in his mind, as if a way to try to minimise the damages done. To be true, he’s not fully aware of it until he sees Jisung in real life again. 

(And no, he has not been avoiding him. He just so happened to have been more needed at the bookstore as the end of the year approaches, and well, maybe he’s been trying to keep himself busy to forget about said incident , too, but it’s whatever .)

It’s a little hard to ignore when he sees how lifeless Jisung looks. Minho’s first, instinctive reaction is to worry, to go and ask what happened. But since he knows damn well what potentially made him feel this way—or he thinks he does… How can he be completely sure it is his fault, though? Maybe he’s just hoping this mattered a little to Jisung, which is fucked up, admitedly—his second, or third, reaction is to downplay it. 

Bun and Sam had only been talking for approximately two months, and a sick part of Minho’s brain refuses to believe this relationship has that much impact on his best friend. He refuses to believe Bun has done more to charm Jisung in two months than him in two years and a half of friendship. 

Minho is still hiding in the darkness of the corridor, watching from afar when Jeongin walks by and notices him. “What are you doing?” he murmurs, an eyebrow raised. 

Minho straightens up. “Nothing. I was about to—”

“You’re hiding?” Jeongin cuts him off mid-sentence, and then looks around. “From what?” Minho’s lungs constrict. “From who ?” he ends up asking as his eyes zoom in on his roommate. 

“Nothing. No one, ” Minho answers in a breath. “I was about to come with you guys.” 

Jeongin scans over him, but this time doesn’t comment on it. Instead, he just says. “Jisung has been asking for you.”

Minho bites his lips, but tries to play it cool. “Then why didn’t he come into my room? He always makes himself at home.” 

Jeongin shrugs, lips pouting. “No idea.” ‘ You tell me ,’ his attitude seems to argue. Or maybe Minho is going too far. He needs to find a way to pacify the sentiment of guilt he’s constantly been living with for the past few days. 

With Jeongin standing in the light of the living room, right at the entrance of the corridor, it is evident Minho’s existence is going to be known. Yet, it doesn’t reach his brain until Hyunjin’s voice gets heard. 

“Hey Minho-hyung!”

All eyes turn to find his figure, and Minho realises there’s no need for him to stay there. He waves back, and the conversation goes on. He meets Jisung’s face once before he looks down again as he walks towards his friends sitting on his couch, meanwhile Jeongin goes back to the kitchen. The fact that a shy smile makes its way onto his best friend’s face is enough to ease his conscience, although he learns a second later, when he looks at him again, that it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“What are you guys talking about?” Felix says as he comes back from the kitchen with washed hands and sits on Seungmin’s lap. Usually Minho would have looked towards Jisung and made a face, but not today. He does feel Jisung’s eyes on him, though, but he doesn’t know how to confront them so he simply doesn’t. 

Hyunjin, on the other hand, throws a glance at Jisung's way, as if to ask for permission. Minho doesn’t follow it to its end, but given how Hyunjin starts speaking again, it means Jisung agreed. “Jisung’s crush.” 

Jisung is quick to take over, throwing a glance Minho’s way. “There’s not much to talk about. He’s been ghosting me for a few days.” 

Felix is full of empathy, as always. “Oh… Did something happen in particular?”

Jisung shrugs. “I don’t know. We were talking just fine and he just… started to ignore my texts?” 

Seungmin seems to think it over. “Did you tell him something that could make him want to run away?”

Jeongin comes at the same time to put the appetisers Minho prepared earlier down on the coffee table. Felix mouths a ‘thank you’ while Jisung stammers. 

“N-no? I don’t think so?” His eyes shun away from the attention, so Hyunjin takes the reins with a whisper. “He sorta confessed.” 

Jisung slaps his arms. “I didn’t!” 

Hyunjin hums. “You kinda did, though. You said you wanted to know more about him because you were interested in him.”

Details seem to have gotten lost in translation, but Minho isn’t going to complain. 

“Well, fuck, okay, how is that bad?”

“It’s not!” Hyunjin replies, looking like he’s been handling the damage control part for the past seventy-two hours. Minho only realises now his lack of answer must have been weird. “I’m just saying that this could be a reason?”

“Has he been active lately?” Jeongin asks, taking a genuine interest in the conversation. 

Jisung fumbles to find his phone and after a minute, he answers, “Not ever since our last convo.” 

“Something could have happened to him,” Felix reasons as he plops another one of the cheese snacks in his mouth. 

“Or he’s just a loser. You should move on,” Hyunjin deadpans before sipping on his drink. 

“He’s not!” Jisung defends, eyes falling yet another time on Minho’s feature. 

He gulps, deciding it should be good for him to finally speak up before it becomes obvious, although he suspects it is obvious to him because he’s the loser Hyunjin mentioned. “Maybe Hyunjin’s right?”

Hyunjin throws his hands in the air, says ‘Aren’t I always?’ as Jisung tilts his head questioningly. “About?”

“About you moving on?” Minho breathes. Just like he pushed Jisung to contact Bun, he can certainly fix the mess he’s created? Or worsen it, depending on how you see things. “It’s not like you ever saw him or anything… So you can always create something like that with someone you know in real life, like Changbin or–”

He wants to say more, but the look on Jisung’s face and Hyunjin clearing his throat both beg him to stop here. 

Thankfully, Jeongin seems to know where Minho was coming from. “Yeah, he’s right. It’s hard to deal with for now, we know, but it’s probably better for you not to hold any expectations of him coming back,” he stops, throws a glance Minho’s way—and whether it is to show support or to reprimand his way of dealing with the issue, Minho has yet to figure out—before his eyes intently stare at Jisung. “And for the moving on part, you don’t have to replace the attention Bun gave you. You could just take some time alone to reflect and realise you’ve done nothing wrong.” 

This is exactly what Minho wanted to say, huh. Obviously. 

“Yeah, not all internet relationships can come out as great as ours,” Felix says sadly, and then, in a lighter tone. “Sorry I set the bar too high.” 

For the first time of the night, Jisung's smile seems to be frank. “Thanks… I guess I’ll do my best to keep what you guys told me in mind.”

And with that, the conversation moves onto another topic, which Minho struggles with following—the creeping guilt of being a shitty friend is becoming too much to handle. He ponders on if he should announce to Jisung he’s the one behind Bun’s account, and what excuses he should give. 

Surely ‘Sorry I flirted with you with my stan account because I have a huge stupid crush on you since the night we first met’ wouldn’t cut it. Or he could send a text as Bun just for Jisung to move on, and not let him know that it was him behind the account. But then, Minho would struggle living with that secret. Should he remove Jisung’s from his life? What?! No!... Wait… What if Jisung never wants to talk to him ever again if he learns that Minho was keeping that a secret? 

The issue is making him go insane. He tries to rationalise it: a sin confessed is half-forgiven, right? He just needs to know how to confess it. Ugh. 

When he focuses back on the (apparently) new conversation his friends are having, he prefers leaving the talking to his other friends. Given the looks both Jeongin and Jisung are giving him, he’s not doing a good job at hiding his emotions either. 

After Seungmin’s party, Jeongin has let Minho know in multiple ways that he was there for him if he ever wanted to talk about whatever was bothering him, and considering the boy certainly has a sixth sense specified in Minho, it isn’t going to be long before he understands what he’s been plotting. 

Minho figures that’s why when they all leave the apartment one by one, and Jisung has yet to cross the door himself, Jeongin decides to accompany the others outside and closes the door behind him so that they can have some time alone. 

So. Maybe Minho does need to talk to Jisung, both as Minho and Bun, and maybe Jeongin sensed it. However that doesn’t mean it had to be now . 

Minho isn’t ready.

“You’re okay?” Jisung ends up asking, although something in Minho’s brain reminds it should be the other way around. 

After all, it isn’t Minho who’s been toyed with. (Even though he knows it’s not what it is deep down, but oh well, appearances are what matter most and you’re absolutely right if you think Minho’s tricky thoughts will find a way to blame him first and foremost.) 

Minho gulps the trail of ideas down. “Yeah… You?”

Jisung bites his lips and moves his hands awkwardly. “Been better.”

“Yeah, right. Sorry.”

There are so many other things he wants to say, so many other things he should be saying, yet the words don’t come. 

“Did I do something wrong?” is the question Minho feared hearing. 

“No!” he immediately replies. “I just… I was really busy with work and I’ve been really tired lately. I wasn’t ignoring you, or anything,” he says, referring to the few messages left unread that Jisung sent these past days. 

“Okay,” he shoots back more steadily, yet sounding doubtful still. He opens the door, wants to say something more precise, but instead settles on, “I’ll see you around, then?”

“Sure,” Minho answers, even if he has no idea when he’ll see him again. He hates how fleeting things are, and there is no one else to blame except himself. 

✎✎✎

Minho really should be aware by now, but nothing ever happens the way it’s supposed to. 

The plan was simple. Step 1: Do a mental recap of what happened and what he’s feeling at the moment. Step 2: Confess to Jisung he’s Bun and that he likes him in more than a platonic, best friend way. Step 3: Undefined for now. 

It’s whatever, because in the end, he managed to screw that up. And right from the first step! Quite impressive—he knows.

What happens instead is that Jisung comes over, on the last day of November. He calls in the middle of night, waking Minho up because he can’t sleep, and well, Minho will probably be dead before he refuses anything to Jisung. 

So. Jisung is over right, and it’s late at night, and he keeps talking, and of course Minho listens, because it is the least he can do. Obviously, the conversation quickly moves onto Bun and how sad Jisung is. And admittedly, Minho understands he made Sam believe there was something between them, because there was, but he doesn’t get how something so invisible as an online relationship could have affected him that much. 

(Even if it is subconsciously affecting him just as much, if not more, given the fact that contrary to Jisung, he has to keep everything to himself.)

Still, he listens. He listens and wishes there was something he could do to make Jisung feel better. Until there is actually a solution given to Minho on a golden plate. 

“I just wish he would give me closure at least. Just an explanation, or to tell me if he was playing with me all along,” Jisung said. His eyes find Minho’s, with an attempt of saying more. Don’t I deserve better? Don’t I deserve the truth?

Minho registers half of the message as he looks away.

To be true, Minho is kind of tired of walking on eggshells each time he’s around his best friend. He just wants things to be back to the way they were, even if that means hiding his feelings. 

So yes, maybe Minho ends up sending Sam a dm the next day—just something small that won’t reveal too much about who he truly is, so that Jisung can move onto something else. And yes, at last, Minho throws away the two other steps he had yet to accomplish in order to leave this story behind. He knows it is bad, if not downright shitty , but he’s too scared that if Jisung ever learns about the truth, Minho will have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

It’s logical and he’d deserve it, but he figures that since he’s managed to keep his crush secret all this time, lying once more won’t be that complicated.

So yeah, he decides on taking this one to the grave. Now that he’s liberated Sam, he hopes that Jisung will quickly move onto the next thing.

It doesn’t have the anticipated effect, given a week later, Jisung calls him again; completely drunk this time, asking him to come join him to a party Minho’s never heard about. Considering the loud music being the boy and the slurred words he hushes through the phone that Minho has difficulty understanding properly, someone in the music department apparently chose to throw a party before classes start again.

And now, it is Minho’s duty to go take care of Jisung—not that he is complaining.

He’s just wondering if that’s really how they’re going to reconnect after two weeks of barely texting each other. If Jisung, despite being intoxicated, truly wants to see Minho, when he could have simply called Hyunjin. With all these thoughts marinating in the pit of his head, the ride is already done.

Inside of the house, there is no time left for imagining. Every sense is on alert: the music is even louder now that he’s pacing through the huge mansion, and he hates the feeling of his shoulders brushing through the sea of bodies, but he’s so eager to find Jisung that he cannot really find it in himself to care.

In the end, he doesn’t find Jisung. Quite the opposite, in fact, since Jisung is the one to shout his name as they meet in a corridor leading to a bathroom, on the second floor.

“Minho! You’re here!” He exclaims as he throws himself in Minho’s arms. Minho is too surprised by the sudden skinship to do anything about it: he stands here awkwardly, arms having forgotten how to hug back.

“Yeah,” he whispers stupidly as if it was the first time he ever saw Jisung.

It’s not, duh. But it is certainly the first time he’s seeing Changbin this close.

“Hey,” the latter waves from behind Jisung, who’s trying to detangle himself from Minho’s limbs, although it really shouldn’t be that complicated given the lack of movement from Minho’s side.

“Hey,” Minho repeats.

“That’s Changbin,” Jisung introduces, and whether he doesn’t remember he showed his pictures to Minho three months ago or the fact Minho is the one who sort of made this happen is something that would have made him laugh if circumstances were different. However, they’re not, and he feels the air constrict in his lungs.

He focuses back on Jisung, not caring for a second if he passes for impolite. “You’re okay?”

Jisung nods, lips stretched in a relaxed smile. “Feeling peachy!”

Minho inspects him a while longer while Changbin chimes in and breaks the silence. “I just made him drink two glasses of water, so I think he should b—”

“Thank you,” Minho asserts, a smile on his lips that’s too firm to be cordial. “We should get going,” he then adds as he takes Jisung’s wrist within his hand.

“What?” Jisung laughs out while being dragged out by Minho. “What are you doing?” he asks again, forming a full sentence this time, once they reach the floor beneath the one where they left Changbin. It’s dark, without any sign of life except for the two of them.

“Getting you home.”

“No, you’re preventing me from getting laid.”

Jisung is behaving like a child, and Minho snorts, although he feels his patience running thin. He’d admit the presence of Changbin near him has something to do with it, and he knows that he legitimately has no right to even be bothered about it, but he cannot ignore the feeling in his chest that begged him to steal Jisung away.

“C’mon, given how drunk you are you can’t even get it up.” Minho apparently settles for acting like a child too.

Jisung is annoyed, or he tries to at least, but the mention of a failed erection is enough for him to break into a smile. “You’re stupid.”

Minho shakes his head and decides to help Jisung walk a little faster by putting his arm around his neck and his own around his waist. Jisung visibly thinks he’s in for another hug and pushes all his weight against Minho’s chest. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

Minho blinks a few times, unsure if he heard him correctly. “Now, you’re the one being silly.” By habit of pretending he doesn’t have any feelings for his best friend, he adds, “Why would I be jealous?”

Jisung leans back, a shitty grin on his mouth that makes Minho shiver. “I don’t know, why would you be?”

Minho frowns, genuinely confused. Jisung breaks into a fit of giggles again, but it sounds strained by the time he stops to catch his breath. “You don’t really want me to move on, don’t you?”

Minho is left dumbfounded. He has no idea, yet thousands of thoughts that could explain why Jisung is acting like that. “What are you talking about?” He fakes, waiting for Jisung to get more precise.

“Changbin,” Jisung says suspiciously fast, as if being inebriated was just a lure. He doesn’t sound mad when he asks, “You don’t want me to get close to him, hm?”

Minho opens his mouth to spit a logical excuse, but nothing comes out.

So Jisung pursues, fleeing Minho’s questioning stare. “You’re the one who told me to talk to Bun, who encouraged all of that to happen,” he then looks back at him, and Minho struggles looking at him right in the eye. “Then, I caught feelings and out of the blue, he’s not talking to me anymore. And it fucking hurt and you know that, but, there’s something that’s hurting me even more,” he stops, his hand leaves Minho’s shoulder to pass through his hair. He shakes his head with a laugh, and Minho grows concerned. “I saw your phone, Minho.”

He squints his eyes, trying to decipher what Jisung means by that. If it’s as bad as he witnesses things are becoming. “My phone?”

When Jisung looks back, his eyes are shining. “Yeah, your phone Minho.“ He gets closer, breath fanning over Minho’s ear, “I know your little secret.” He punctuates each word with a push of his index against his chest.

“You’re drunk,” Minho ends up saying, knowing damn well he’s making all the wrong choices. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Jisung’s laughs sounds sinister. He pursues the conversation as if Minho had not talked, as if he had not brought up the mention of a secret to begin with. “You mentioned Changbin once and I thought, well, maybe this could be a solution. That maybe this would finally get a rise out of you. And now you’re here, forcing me to follow you, but you won’t even tell me what you want? Huh?” Jisung pushes Minho away, only to pull him back in.

His voice gets lower when he implores. “So what is it that you want, uh? Tell me and I’ll do it, Minho.”

A charged silence fills the space between them.

“Or you want me to call you Bun, maybe?”

For a second, Minho feels the reality of things slip out of his grasp. Jisung mentioned a secret, but hearing his pseudonym roll off his tongue is like a cold shower. His friend—although Minho doubts if the term still stands fitting for their relationship now—makes sure to keep him grounded. “I just don’t get it… You flirt with me on that stupid account, and when I flirt back you fucking ghost me? Beg me to move on? And cry when I do? You can’t keep messing with my head like that—”

Jisung’s mood swings are hard to follow, confuse and stress Minho all the same, but it’s only fair after what he’s done to Jisung for the past three months.

One thing is sure, though. “I’m not,” is the instinctive answer Minho gives him. “I’m not playing with you.”

“Yeah,” Jisung’s tone sounds dejected, and Minho knows that the incredulous smile he’s wearing is just a facade. “Then why does it feel like it?”

Minho doesn’t have a good answer to give. He knows he’s crossed every boundary, and he knows he’s hurt Jisung beyond repair when he sees a tear stray out on his cheek.

“I waited, you know. For you to tell me. But,” he sniffles and Minho fights back the urge to take him closer in his arms. One can’t be both the poison and the cure. “It’s like it wasn’t real for you. Like… you were ashamed of having feelings for me, if you even had some to begin with.”

“Of course, it was— it is ,” Minho corrects, ever so softly he’s barely hearing himself.

“Then why? Why’d you keep lying to me?” Jisung cries and Minho hates how helpless he feels at the moment. “I love you hyung. I’ve loved you way before this fucking bullshit happened, but I can’t keep pretending that it’s not hurting me. That you’re not hurting me.”

“I’m sorry,” is all that he can think of. There are too many things that need to be said but he doesn’t know how yet, and he doesn’t want to redirect the light on himself, although they’ve both been hurting. The confession doesn’t even make him squirm with excitement, but instead, it makes him feel even more awful, unworthy of it.

Jisung’s lips form a thin line as he nods. He then takes the hem of his sweatshirt to dry his eyes and cheeks, but the puffiness has yet to go away. “I’m gonna head home,” he whispers before he starts walking back to the stairs, only for Minho to catch him.

“Alone?” Minho barely can conceal the worry in each of his words.

Jisung pulls his wrist back to him, and Minho doesn’t hold any resistance to it. “Yes. I’ll call a cab. You should do the same.” He then goes down the stairs, Minho on his heels.

“I can call Hyunjin if you want?” He offers, in a last attempt at not letting go of him.

“It’s fine, Minho. I think you’ve done enough…” Again, Jisung doesn’t sound annoyed, simply tired, Minho notices. He doesn’t know if that’s better.

A part of him would rather have Jisung screaming at him, to have him tell him explicitly that he never wants to see him ever again—because seeing Jisung cry once more as he climbs on the taxi is somehow worse, because not knowing if this the last time he sees him is actually what’s going to kill Minho. 

✎✎✎

“You’re being dramatic,” Jeongin says as he brings tea to Minho the next day as he stares into the void. “Jisung’s never stayed mad at you for too long, I actually even think it’s not in his capacity.” His eyes get lost too, as if he’s reflecting on the idea.

Minho’s voice makes him snap back to the conversation. “You didn’t see him.” He sips on it and burns his tongue, making a face. “And well, I understand if he never wants to see me ever again. I deserve it.” 

Jeongin flickers his forehead, which makes Minho blink. “Again. You’re. Being. Dramatic. Jisung loves you, and sure what you’ve done isn’t the best way to handle the situation, but it is very… Minho-esque, if you will , so surely he’ll get it, because no one gets you better than he does.”

Minho sighs, growing more desperate by the second. He checks his phone, only to be met with a few notifications that aren’t Jisung, and therefore become irrelevant.

“He’ll be back in two days, once he realises he can’t live without you, or something as cheesy as that,” Jeongin says with a disgusted grimace, but Minho knows he is exaggerating in an attempt at making him smile. It’s not working yet.

The TV is playing but Minho can’t seem to focus on it, nor does he want to. It only seems to be a facade for Jeongin as well when he speaks again three minutes later.

“That story is wild, though.”

Minho snorts, but he’s not amused. “What? Me liking Jisung is that unbelievable?”

At that Jeongin turns his head to look at him, unfazed. “No. I’m pretty sure I knew you liked him before anyone of you losers noticed,” he forces his legs to leave the armrest of the armchair and let them fall back to the group for his arm to lean on. “I meant you writing fics. Like, that’s crazy .”

Minho throws a cushion his way, not caring about, “Hey, my tea!” which he thinks Jeongin is overreacting given he’s missed him.

“You had it coming.”

Jeongin makes sure none of it falls on the ground as he drops the cup on the coffee table with a smile. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Minho rolls his eyes, but he cannot deny that Jeongin’s smile is contagious.

“Can I add one more thing?”

Minho looks back at him, regrets agreeing without having said the word.

“Bun… really? Wasn’t it any better name or you’re just that ba—”

This time Minho makes sure not to miss.

“Still no texts?” Jeongin asks again, five hours later when he catches Minho checking his phone once more. To be honest, he’s avoided the device for almost all day so that he wouldn’t have high hopes and be miserable checking it every two minutes.

Turns out, the fall is worse. “Nope.” He opens IMessage, then Twitter, where he notices Sam still follows Bun. It’s not much, and surely means that Jisung didn’t open the app in days, but it still sends a wave of relief through Minho’s body. 

“Is it me or the group chat has been awfully quiet lately?” Minho asks and Jeongin looks genuinely surprised.

“You finally found it?” Jeongin ruffles with his hair like he’s a kid, which makes Minho shrink on his seat as he grumbles. “Yeah, Jisung showed me.”

For his defense, who the fuck still uses Messenger?

Except for Hyunjin, part time influencer on every social media ever created. Instagram, Tiktok, Twitter, Tumblr, Ask.fm, Kik, you name it.

He bites his lip as he realises the sweep the events have taken. “Do you think Hyunjin knows?”

Jeongin comes back from the kitchen, and Minho has a hard time deciphering what expression is running through his face. Words are quick to help. “I think he knew before you knew Jisung knew.”

Minho’s brain freezes for a second, taking too much time to understand the sentence.

“Do you think or are you sure?” Minho enquiries, and when Jeongin’s face breaks, Minho attacks. “Did he tell you?”

Jeongin has the audacity to act affronted. “Ah, I—” he lets out incredulous while Minho’s stare on him feels heavy. “Listen, it isn’t hard to do the maths. Hyunjin is Jisung’s childhood best friend, and well given the whole story is about you, someone he has a crush on, obviously he’s gonna talk about it with Hyunjin.”

“But did Hyunjin talk about it with you?” Minho keeps asking with an interested, raised brow. “No wait. That’s evident, too, Hyunjin cannot shut his mouth. When did he talk about it with you?”

Jeongin bites back a smile at the truth being told, forgetting this is a very serious conversation. “Okay first off, he didn’t mean to talk about it with me.”

Minho inhales sharply before raising his voice. “So you knew! That’s why you weren’t that surprised about me having feelings for Jisung!”

Jeongin rolls his eyes, “No, dumbass, I told you I knew that since like the first time you invited Jisung over. Jisung told Hyunjin about it after the last time they all came over, for some reason Hyunjin didn’t disclose. Hyunjin told me the next time we saw each other, which was like,” he stops to count on his fingers, “three days later, or so?”

“The betrayal,” Minho whispers, and Jeongin’s face is a silent ‘Really?’

Minho smiles cutely to make amends. “Wait, does that mean the whole group knows?”

Jeongin shrugs. “Dunno. I told you Hyunjin had not meant to spill it to me, and you know that Hyunjin will always privileges Jisung’s feelings over stupid rumours. If Seungmin knows, it’s certainly because Felix snitched, and if Felix knows, then it must be because Jisung who told him.”

Minho gives it some thoughts as Jeongin keeps talking. “Also it may look that way because you know him well, but Jisung doesn’t just confide in everyone. Sure, he trusts us, but the only two he’ll ever come to when facing this type of situation is either you or Hyunjin.”

Minho hums, knowing Jeongin is telling the truth.

“And even if Hyunjin holds grudges easily, he lets go of them just as fast—and you know Jisung is just the same, he just needs a little help. Once Hyunjin does let go of it, he’ll realise what you’ve done isn’t the best, but I’m sure he’ll at least push Jisung to come talk to you and ask for explanations. What happens next is up to the both of you,” Jeongin reasons as Minho stands up to put the dirty dishes remaining on the table in the sink to be washed. “It’ll be fine either way, I’m sure,” he finishes with a reassuring smile.

Despite the pessimistic side of Minho telling him that it isn’t completely the truth; that there’s actually a way where Minho won’t end up fine at all , he decides to remain hopeful for what’s coming and not to overthink what’s potentially going on in Jisung’s brain when he struggles knowing what’s happening in his to begin with.

Jeongin is about to open his bedroom door when his voice rings in the apartment once more. “Also, hyung,” Minho halts, “Don’t be too hard on yourself. Jisung, too, knew who you were and kept going with it instead of telling you directly.”

Minho nods, realising only now that he had never seen things from this perspective.

“Knowing him, he’s probably crying because he thinks he’s been too mean with you, so just, let things come back naturally.”

Minho smiles shyly, and has no idea if words are enough to thank Jeongin. Instead, he takes it on the chin and closes the gap between them to hug him.

An awkward silence ensues until Jeongin breaks it. “Okay, gross,” he says as he breaks the embrace. “Keep that for Jisung once he texts you back, ok?”

Minho laughs, “Yes Jeongin-ah,” he drags the last syllable with the sentiment of feeling lighter than he did this morning. 

✎✎✎

Even if Minho won’t admit it in front of his roommate, Jeongin happens to often be right.

Jisung replies to Minho’s latest text—the one he sent right after he got home after the party—two days after Minho discussed it with Jeongin.

Minho (sent at 02:03a.m. on 22.11.07)

Hey, I hope you got home safely

(sent at 02:17a.m.)

I know you might not want to talk about it now, and I understand if you don’t want to talk to me ever again, but I still think it would be important and better for us to just say everything we have to say.

Because I have a ton of things to say and explain

After that I’ll let you be

(You don’t have to answer those texts now)

Jisung (sent at 11:23a.m. on 22.11.10)

hey

sorry im only replying now

i needed time alone, even if you already know that

i think youre right… we should meet and stop avoiding the issue

when are you free?

As expected, Jisung comes over as soon as Minho gets out of work that day. But something about it feels impersonal. As a starter, he makes sure to come when Jeongin is still having classes, as if he didn’t want anyone to know he was ever here. Minho entertains that this may be the day he’s going to die, then he realises he shouldn’t be smiling about it.

“What are you laughing about?” Jisung asks before taking a sip of his water.

“Nothing,” Minho replies, and changes his answer when Jisung frowns. He knows they’re here to communicate , which he still struggles doing, let’s be clear, but he’s not sure what they meant by doing so. “Just you killing me. It doesn’t sound as weird as it did in my head.”

Jisung’s eye show he’s bewildered, but there’s a certain gleam to it that’s more telling; one that Minho would recognised between thousands of expressions in Jisung’s Encyclopedia of Expressions. He totally just made that up, and will blame it on the stress. On normal days, that glimmer in the eyes has a positive connotation, which is probably why Minho interprets it as a green light.

“I’m sorry,” he starts, breaking the silence between them. “I really am, and I know that what I did hurt you, and I’m talking way beyond the double identity thingy happened. To be completely honest, I had no idea you had feelings for me before that,” Minho lets out a laugh. “I thought it was impossible, even? That I was the only one dumb enough to catch feelings for his best friend, but well—”

“I can’t believe you’re insulting me while apologising and confessing your feelings for me,” Jisung raises a brow, and Minho likes to believe he knows him well to know he wants to drop the act and laugh along. He doesn’t, though.

“Sorry,” Minho hushes, regaining seriousness. “What I meant is, I had feelings for you probably since the first few times we truly had a conversation going. There was just something about you that I can’t explain, that I never found with anyone else, and that I don’t want to find with anyone else. And well, uh, you know I suck with dealing with this typa stuff, and you started talking about having a new crush every two weeks, so I just, got a grip of that, eventually? I really wasn’t planning on confessing, like, ever, but well, this whole story took a turn I didn’t expect.”

Jisung’s eyes are still fixed on him, and Minho takes it as a sign to continue.

“I’m not going to lie and say that I didn’t think we were gonna kiss sometimes. But you just never went and did it, so I eventually thought I was just making it up?” He doesn’t realise how anxious he is until he hears the rhythmic beat his feet execute on the ground. “And then you just mentioned Sk8 out of the blue one day,” Minho’s laugh is jerky, reminiscing the day this mess started without none of them knowing. “You asked if I knew it, and yes I did, but not for the best reasons,” this time Jisung is the one to chuckle, which encourages Minho to go on. “So yeah, I lied. But that was a small, tiny lie, I had no idea it would grow out to end like this.”

Jisung nods, and Minho feels a weight fall off his shoulders.

“Now, it gets more complicated to explain. Because then, you first mentioned to Hyunjin you had a crush on Twitter, and maybe I took it personally because I didn’t know about it until Seungmin’s birthday party, and I promise I still had no idea who that person was until you sent the text. I only realised then because I saw the notif appear on my phone, and I was trying so badly not to freak out in front of you,” Minho stops in his monologue to gulp down his water as well.

He knows Jisung isn’t mad at him, or at least he doesn’t look like he is right now, but Minho wishes he’d break his speech to at least say something too. But then, Minho quickly rationalises that he did most of the talking last time they saw each other, so it’s only normal that it is his turn to do so. Plus, he really has tons of things to explain.

“I really gave it a thought. On whether I should or not text you back. If I should tell you right away who I was. But you looked like you liked Bun way more than you did with… huh, me?” Minho trails with hesitation before he corrects himself, hands shaking in an attempt at repairing the mess when Jisung raises a brow. “I mean. You seem to like us differently. Obviously, because Bun was your crush, and I was—am… your best friend?” Minho exhales and whispers, averting his eyes, “This really isn’t easy.”

“Whatever. I know I was selfish and an idiot, because I was jealous of myself, but I so badly wanted you to see me, Minho , the way you saw Bun. You also mentioned how happy you were and I didn’t want to steal that away?”

“Everything I said… Both as Bun and Minho, they were all real. You mean so much to me Jisung. I know there were better ways of showing it, and that you think I played you, but it really wasn’t with that intent that I did all that. I know I crossed boundaries, but I just wanted more of you, to have the privilege of getting to know you in a different way than a best friend would. I know it sounds bad, but that’s just the truth. I’m sorry it turned out like that,” he reiterates.

Only then he decides to look back at Jisung, who looks more fond than anything else. “You’re so incredibly stupid.”

Minho takes it seriously. “Yeah, I know, I’m so—”

“You know that I confessed to Bun after learning it was you?”

Minho lets his mouth hang open as he blinks a few times.

“And I guess I’m a little stupid too, you were right. I used the excuse of having a new crush every two days to try and forget about the crush I have on you just because you told me you had a crush on someone else,” Jisung explains all too naturally, as if it wasn’t huge news. Which Minho realises it probably isn’t to him since he’s known all along, but it is to him, so what about it. 

“Fuck, you’re really stupid,” Minho deadpans, which makes Jisung roll his eyes, “Don’t push it.”

“That crush, it was you all along,” Minho explains, which leads to Jisung sighing, physically restraining himself of calling Minho a dumb ass for the nth time today. He’s not completely wrong, though. 

Jisung then argues, giving up on exploring both of their idiocy to rather talk about their online relationship—which is, frankly, just a footnote at the page of the same chapter. “Plus, you really weren’t that smooth. You mentioned both Doongie and your place of work.”

“Okay, well, I’m not the only librarian to ever exist? And I didn’t even say my cat’s name was Doongie! You know Doongie would have found a way to get back to me if I had hidden his existence.”

Jisung giggles at Minho’s expense, but he doesn’t mind much, since it sounds like an invitation to follow along, which Minho quickly does. The air feels less charged than it did when he arrived, but it also feels different from when they usually are when it’s just the two of them. Perhaps, something has changed, but Minho has yet to figure it out completely.

“And Changbin?” Minho finds himself asking, which makes Jisung tilt his head to the side.

“What about him?”

“Did something happen between the two of you..?” He asks sheepishly, not aware of how dense the question is when Jisung basically just confirmed, for the second time, that there wasn’t anyone else but him.

Jisung shakes his head no and hums. “Just a few words exchanged about that one assignment I needed help on—nothing out of the extraordinary.”

Minho nods, “That’s cool if he was able to help you.”

Jisung follows his head movement with a smirk growing on his face, “Yeah, that’s nice.”

“And Hyunjin? Does he hate me?”

That makes Jisung laugh out loud. “He doesn’t,” he confides, getting closer to Minho with a hand covering his mouth from the side, as if to hide whatever he’s saying from the people around them, which amounts to zero. “He’s the one who told me to talk to you.”

Minho should be scared of Jeongin’s telepathic powers.

“I wasn’t that mad to begin with, just… sad? and confused and probably overthinking things? Which is why I told you all that at the party. But after numerous talks with Hyunjin, I realised that I was also in the wrong. After all, I knew it was you and I still played along to see if you’d reveal your identity at one point. I crossed your boundaries both with and without knowing, too. I mean, that account was a way for you to escape from your daily life and people you hang out with mostly every day, and I still barged in. It must not have been easy dealing with all of that… So yeah, for that, I wanted to apologise, too,” he finishes with a smile, reaching to hold Minho’s hand, thumb caressing the top of it.

Their eyes find one another once more, and on a common, silent agreement, it only takes a fraction of seconds before Minho cuts the space separating them so that his lips land perfectly on Jisung’s. It’s soft, and everything he’s been dreaming of, and Jisung is kissing him back, tilting his head so as to fit him better.

When they part, Minho laughs timidly as he shakes his head, hands still holding onto Jisung’s. “We’re both idiots, aren’t we?”

Jisung pretends to think it over, only to reply, “Yeah, I think that much is established.”

They look at each other once more, and the tension between them seems to be telling all the words they have left to say. But Minho thinks he’s had enough of trying to guess things, and that he wants to hear Jisung’s voice more.

“What’s next, now?”

Jisung’s eyes form crescent moons when he smiles. “How about you take me on a date to find out?”

✎✎✎

Rating:

• Mature

Archive Warning:

• Creator Chose Not To Archive Warnings 

Category:

• M/M

Fandom:

• Sk8 the Infinity (Anime)

Relationship:

• Nanjo Kojiro | Joe/Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom

Characters:

• Nanjo Kojiro | Joe
• Sakurayashiki Kaoru | Cherry Blossom
• Kyan Reki
• Hasegawa Langa

Additional Tags:

Best Friends to Lovers, Falling in Love, Slice of Life, Non-Linear Narrative, Fluff, They Suck at Communicating, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, Blowjob, Aged Up | Kyan Reki, Aged Up | Hasegawa Langa, Joe is a Himbo, Kaoru is sneaky™, Double Identity, Do not Reproduce at Home, Happy Ending

Language:

English

Stats:

Published:2023-01-19 Words:27361 Chapters:1/1 Kudos:842 Hits:1918

Little Story

Bluemoon

Summary: In which Kojiro so badly wants to catch Kaoru’s eye, he’s ready to do just anything. Even becoming someone else.

Or, Kaoru gets the best of both worlds by playing dumb and pretending he doesn’t know Kojirou is down bad for him.

Notes: 

For catboireki

Hey!! Life has been crazy lately, but I finally got back to this wip I started writing a few months back. It is … Heavily inspired by stuff I experienced myself and yeah. . . All in all, I hope everyone enjoys this mess!!

I’d also like to say special thanks to my … boyfriend :3 who has given me inspiration for this since day 1 and who sorta made this happen. Anyway, if there’s a moral to this story, don’t fake your identity. (Or do, if you wanna get yourself a cute bf ;) )

catboireki
ur a fucking moron GUYS PLS DON’T GER URSELF A FAKE PERSONALITY AND USE A WEIRD ASS PSEUNDONYM ON TWT THATS NOT WHATS GONNA GET U A BF!!!!!!!!

 

catboireki
also i need to come over rn and scream at you for writing the most beautiful piece of art ever created!!!! how dare u be so talented and amazing and funny and hot and mine!!!!!

 

Bluemoon
Well it worked on you so 🤔 I’ll be waiting for you!

 

foxiin01
not that i read all that and actually enjoyed it but /please/ tell me the part where they nearly had sex in the kitchen wasn’t inspired by real events. . .

 

Bluemoon
:p

“Minho!” He hears Jeongin scream an hour later, once he finally checks his mails again. 

He glances at Jisung with a funny face, “Is that how I’m gonna die?” 

“Nah, don’t worry, I think you’ll be fine for as long as he doesn’t learn what we’ve done on the couch,” Jisung assures with a mischievous smile and sparkles in his eyes that morph into fear when he hears Jeongin’s voice again. 

“You guys did what?!”