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Yuuta missed Toge while the omega isolated for his first heat. He knew it was silly; Toge had only been absent for a day so far but Yuuta was so used to seeing him all the time. They weren't joined at the hip, but it was nice to see Toge around doing his odd jobs with the flowers outside the dorms or meal prepping in the kitchen or know he was also around during training.
Yuuta felt his absence keenly: like a splinter he couldn't quite get out and just kept niggling at him.
He had left food – as promised – for his boyfriend seeing as Toge was going to need all of the calories he could get this week, but only the first few had been taken in.
He couldn't deny that he was worried his cooking wasn't good enough. Toge was a decent cook, had years of having to sustain himself, and maybe he had found Yuuta's food lacking. He had never said anything when it was Yuuta's turn to cook for everyone; the guy seemed to clear his plate as if someone was coming to snatch it away from him at any second.
And yet the meals had started to pile up by his door. After the second day of none of his food being accepted – which he was trying his hardest not to worry about – Yuuta cleared away what he had left for fear of causing some sort of infestation.
It was only day four when the bottom fell out of Yuuta's world.
Toge had text him for the first time in days. Yuuta hadn't been expecting much, if any, communication during Toge's first ever heat so seeing his boyfriend's name flash up was a pleasant surprise.
Until he saw the message.
SOS.
Concise. To the point. Completely and utterly bone chilling.
"Toge?!" Yuuta dropped his phone in his haste to get off his bed and out of his room.
He ran across to Toge's door and his face fell when he was confronted by the seal Gojou had placed on the omega's door for his safety. He banged on the door adamantly, even if the seal did mean that it hurt his hand a lot, but there was no response. Gojou's seal scent and sound proofed the room, to protect Toge's dignity, but it also meant that Yuuta couldn't tell if Toge was going to open the door.
The door that could only be opened from the inside unless Gojou removed his seal.
"Yuuta?" Rika hovered over him worriedly and he whipped around to face her.
"Something's wrong with Toge; we need to open the door." Yuuta told her firmly.
"Toge?" Rika looked worriedly at the door. She had grown fond of Toge's boyfriend, which had surprised everyone.
"He asked for our help." Yuuta tried the door handle, but all he got for his effort was a burnt palm. "He needs us! But I can't get in!" Yuuta tried throwing his whole – still pretty meagre – weight into the door, but it didn't even squeak.
"Help Toge!" Rika barrelled at the door like she had been shot out of a cannon.
That, at least, got a creak.
Fuck Gojou and his fucking effective seals.
"Keep trying!" Yuuta urged her as he kept trying to break the door handle.
"What the hell are you doing?" Gojou's thunderous voice, terrifying but unbelievably relieving, came a few minutes later.
"Toge! We need to help Toge!" Yuuta turned to face their teacher and was met with a smirking face that was trying to hide a fury that could crumble mountains.
"Can't manage your knot alone for a week, Okkotsu? Didn't imagine you as that sort." Gojou's words could have cut through a brick wall.
"No! Sensei, he sent an SOS! The last few days meals I had to bin because he never took them and now suddenly he sent that. Something's wrong!" Yuuta turned back to his ultimate worst enemy (read: Toge's bedroom door) and resumed his battle.
"Okkotsu, I'm only going to ask this once. Is this an excuse to try to get into his heat?" Gojou's tone said clear as a bell that if the answer was yes Yuuta could expect to be atomised and removed so wholly from this plane of existence that no one would even remember him in a day or two.
"No! Something's wrong!" Yuuta felt like his heart was about to burst. What if Toge was hurt? Or the heat fever had got too high and he was ill? He hadn't eaten in two days, what if he was weak and vulnerable and scared and alone?
"Move back." Gojou shouldered him out of the way and touched the door, able to see through it now that he was in contact with his seal.
"Shit. You are not going in there." Gojou pushed him back into the hall but Yuuta stood his ground.
"Toge needs me! I'll do whatever you want but I have to be there. He- it's like he called out for me. I can't ignore that." Yuuta's throat tightened at the image of Toge alone and distraught and needing him so desperately.
"I'm not letting you in there without a fucking muzzle." Gojou snapped as he started working on unsealing the door.
"Fine! Anything!" Yuuta nodded quickly and closed the space between them.
Gojou hesitated in his movements for the briefest of split seconds before remembering himself.
"You would really let yourself be muzzled?" Gojou asked.
"Anything if it means I can help him." Yuuta felt like he had never said anything truer than that.
He would do anything, suffer anything, for Toge.
“Put it on.” Gojou produced a muzzle from nowhere like the world’s creepiest magician and held it out to him. Yuuta didn’t even hesitate to slip it in place and buckle it on while he watched Gojou finish unsealing Toge’s door.
The smell was immediate. They didn’t even have to open the door for the acrid scent of cum and distress to hit them.
Gojou, in a moment that shook Yuuta to his core, swore before pushing the door open. A serious Gojou meant nothing good.
Yuuta shot inside Toge’s room and the smell was like a physical wall that he ran into. Distress and sickness and fear mangled Toge’s normally comforting scent and it stopped Yuuta dead in his tracks. How long had Toge been feeling so bad and none of them had known?
Yuuta looked around the room frantically until he found a very naked, very unwell looking, Toge in his nest. Yuuta darted between his omega and their teacher to try to preserve some of Toge’s dignity, quickly unbuttoning his uniform shirt as he went to his lover.
“Toge? Toge?” Yuuta tried not to let his voice shake as he knelt by his boyfriend. Toge needed him to be steady right now. He tried not to give away how much it was scaring him that Toge wasn’t so much as twitching at his name. “Toge!” Yuuta tried a firmer voice, shaking the boy’s shoulder to rouse him as he pulled the omega into his lap.
Yuuta tried to swallow his horror that Toge had wrapped his mouth so tightly with sealing wraps. How long had he been wearing them? How had he been eating and drinking with those seals on? Didn’t they hurt? Yuuta cupped his boyfriend’s face above the seals and hissed at the heat rolling off Toge’s skin.
“He feels so hot.” Yuuta shot a worried look back at Gojou as he wrapped Toge carefully in his shirt. Thankfully it was big enough on Toge that it covered everything that needed covering. Toge twitching in his arms was enough to gain Yuuta’s full attention, and he watched with terrified eyes as Toge’s eyelids struggled open and glazed purple eyes stared up at him.
It looked like something out of Yuuta’s nightmares. Toge looked like he was already gone behind those eyes.
A shaking dirty hand came up to Yuuta’s face and he watched in surprise as Toge held onto the metal bars of the muzzle. The metal fogged under Toge’s hot skin and Yuuta could feel Toge’s fever against his own skin. Before he could say anything, though, Toge’s eyes disappeared back into his head and his fingers went slack in the muzzle.
“Toge!” Yuuta emphasised his shout with a shake of his mate. He had an awful feeling that if he let Toge stay asleep he wouldn’t wake up again. Toge managed to open his eyes again and there was a tiny moment of recognition beneath the haze before Toge broke Yuuta’s heart completely.
Delirious, feverish, half-starved Toge bared his sealed throat for his alpha.
“Woah there.” Gojou said firmly, but all Yuuta could do was try not to cry. As if he could even think about giving Toge his bite right now when clearly what his boyfriend needed was medical attention?
“No, baby, no.” He held Toge tighter to his chest as if he could love the pain right out of him. “When I give you my bite it’s not going to be like this. You deserve better.” Yuuta promised. He tried to nuzzle Toge’s throat like he usually does, but all he achieved was nudging the omega’s neck a few times with the bars of the muzzle.
Toge suddenly lurched against him and turned towards Gojou, who he clearly considered an intruding omega in his space, and Yuuta was too stunned to move as he watched his tiny boyfriend try to make himself bigger and let out a genuine omega hiss at their teacher. Yuuta cringed in second hand pain as he watched the sealing wraps glow against Toge’s skin, surely burning any cursed energy away that he tried to imbue that hiss with.
As much as he hated seeing Toge seal him he was glad for that. Toge trying to curse Gojou could have quite possibly killed him, especially in this sickly condition Toge was already in.
“Toge!” Yuuta tried to refocus Toge’s attention when he hissed at Gojou a second time, despite surely being hurt by the first attempt, but Toge just looked at him with so much hurt in his eyes. It was like a knife to Yuuta’s heart.
“I’m not after your alpha, Inumaki. He needed me to open your door.” Gojou said calmly. Yuuta watched Toge closely and saw the moment the fight drained out of him. Did Toge even recognise their voices right now? He must recognise Yuuta’s scent because he wasn’t turning the alpha out of his nest, but beyond that how cognizant was he?
“Do you think he knows what’s happening?” Yuuta asked Gojou worriedly as he held Toge as close as he could.
“I doubt it. He needs to go to Shoko. Now. I mean, he probably needed to go to Shoko two days ago, but now is going to have to do.” Gojou’s severity made Yuuta’s stomach drop.
“What can I do? What can I do for him right now?” Yuuta tried not to cry as he cradled Toge’s frail feeling body against his chest. Toge was suddenly trying to bury his face in Yuuta’s neck and Yuuta tilted his head immediately for his omega. He couldn’t even tell if Toge was awake or not as the omega sought out his scent, but there was no mistaking the sudden sobs shaking his boyfriend in his lap.
“Hold him tight. We’re going to the clinic.” Gojou was suddenly right in front of him grasping his shoulder.
Yuuta was sure he would never get used to Gojou’s teleportation. He landed with a hard thud on his knees of Shoko’s clinic and hugged Toge tightly as the omega wept into his shoulder. God only knew what nightmares Toge had endured the last few days without anyone knowing.
Yuuta suddenly wished more than anything that he had already bitten Toge before his heat started. At least then he would have felt when something started going wrong and he could have helped Toge before it reached this terrifying state.
Shoko almost dropped the mug she was drinking from, staring in shock at the pitiful entourage they surely made.
“What happened?” She demanded. She hurried over to them but Yuuta’s protective instincts were firing a thousand different messages at once and the loudest was: cursed energy getting close to your vulnerable omega.
He didn’t mean for Rika to manifest.
He didn’t mean for her to lunge at Shoko, the source of the cursed energy his alpha didn’t want near Toge, but lunge she did.
“Get a grip, Okkotsu!” Gojou slapped him upside the head, which served well to shock him and Rika into freezing.
“I- it’s alright, Rika. She’s coming to help.” Yuuta managed to force the words out against all instinct and Rika reluctantly backed down. “Thank you for trying to protect him too.” Yuuta murmured to her before she vanished again.
“Put him on the bed, Okkotsu. What the fuck happened?” Shoko, to her credit, didn’t seem shaken that a special grade curse had almost torn her head from her shoulders.
“I- I don’t know. He sent me an SOS text and Gojou unsealed the door and we- we found him like this. He wasn’t responsive apart from a few seconds. He hissed at Gojou. Twice.” Yuuta felt like he was in shock. His tiny omega had puffed up and hissed at their mountain of a sensei like a kitten trying to square off against a Doberman. Yuuta didn’t think he’d ever forget it.
He was distantly aware of Shoko rapid firing questions at him as he lay Toge carefully on the bed, making sure to keep all intimate parts covered. Toge’s chest was rising and falling painfully fast and his eyes were moving rapidly under his eyelids and he was already soaking through Yuuta’s shirt with sweat.
Yuuta had never seen his boyfriend look so unwell.
“Okkotsu!” This was accompanied by Shoko taking her turn to slap him upside the head. “If you don’t know anything then just get the hell out of my way!” Shoko moved him aside and started checking Toge over. Yuuta thought he saw something like guilt flit over her face as she glanced at Toge’s sealed mouth but it was gone before he could really make out what he was seeing.
“I’m not leaving him.” Yuuta shook his head adamantly. He moved to the other side of the bed to keep out of Shoko’s way while she worked, but there was no way in hell he was leaving Toge again.
“Fine, just keep out of the way.” She didn’t even look away from Toge to snap at him.
It felt like eternity. He watched anxiously, trying to take in every detail of what she was doing, as Shoko used her reversed cursed technique to help Toge’s body pull itself back together.
Gojou stayed by his side and Yuuta got a sense that Gojou was almost as worried about Toge as he was. Toge looked like a posterchild for every omega’s worst nightmare for a first heat. Gojou must have had his share of difficult heats as a special grade omega, especially with no alpha to help him, so maybe he was just as upset at Toge’s condition?
Yuuta could hardly think. He just about remembered to breathe while Shoko worked her magic on the boy he had given his heart to.
When she finally stopped and looked at him Yuuta swore his heart stopped dead. Was Toge beyond help? Had Yuuta been too late again? The thoughts were almost immediately spiralling away from him.
“Inumaki should be alright. I’m putting him on IV fluids; he’s dropped a lot of weight since his heat started and being malnourished isn’t going to help him heal. We just need to let him rest now.” Shoko told them solemnly. Yuuta noticed the sweat on her forehead and the slight shake in her hands as she set up the IV and wondered how much it took out of their school medic to help someone as much as she had helped Toge.
Yuuta’s body moved without his brain’s conscious thought: his knees hit the floor and his forehead quickly followed suit.
“Thank you, Shoko-sensei. Thank you so much.” Yuuta’s nerves felt so taut he was sure his body was vibrating, but he’d be damned if he didn’t properly thank the woman who undoubtedly saved Toge’s life.
“It’s what I’m here for, kid.” Shoko’s hand was suddenly on his head again, but this time it was just a gentle pat to his hair. Yuuta nodded against the floor and tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
“I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been here to help.” He couldn’t stand the thought. He had never appreciated having a doctor on site as much as he did right then, even when he had had broken bones fixed after training.
“Well, I was, so no point worrying about it.” As Yuuta straightened back up he saw Shoko sink back into her chair. “Satoru, your student will be fine in a few days. Please get out of my sight now.” Shoko sighed, and a second later Gojou was gone with his laugh still echoing off the walls.
Yuuta sat on the edge of the bed and looked down into Toge’s face. The flush of fever seemed to have drained from him, but it only seemed to highlight the sickly paleness left behind. Toge had always been fair, but now he just looked grey and impossibly unwell.
“Toge? Sweetheart?” He cupped his boyfriend’s face gently in one hand and ran his thumb back and forth across Toge’s clammy cheek, what of it he could touch over the seals. “I’m here, Toge, I won’t go anywhere.” Yuuta promised quietly as Toge weakly turned his face into Yuuta’s palm. Toge’s breathing seemed much calmer now, no longer strained and frantic, and Yuuta tried to convince himself that his boyfriend was just dozing.
He couldn’t help but notice how the wrappings stifling Toge’s lower face looked grimy and sweaty and uncomfortable against his boyfriend’s skin. Yuuta’s free hand started to unwrap it for him when something hit him in the shoulder.
“Sensei?” Yuuta looked over at her, shocked that she would have thrown something at him, and she just wagged her finger angrily back and forth at him.
“He wanted to be sealed, Okkotsu, it’s not for you to unseal them without asking him.” She scolded. His face must have given away how upset that made him because her face softened. “I don’t like them either, but this is about Inumaki and what he wants. He’s going to be confused enough when he wakes up; at least let him decide himself when they come off.”
Yuuta felt so small under her gaze.
“But…don’t they hurt him?” He always got the sense that that sort of thing would hurt considering it was actively trying to stifle your natural flow of cursed energy. It also left Toge without his main weapon, and surely an omega vulnerable in their heat would want all the weapons at their arsenal just to be safe?
“Kid, he’s not feeling much of anything right now. Let him make the choice when he wakes up.” Shoko said firmly. “If they bother you that much you can always leave him to me-”
“I’m not leaving him again!” Yuuta was shocked at the volume that burst out of him. He hadn’t known he could be so loud.
It felt especially damning in the near silence of the clinic.
“Thought you’d say that.” Shoko was smiling at him like she knew something he didn’t and it unsettled Yuuta for reasons he couldn’t quite explain.
“I’m going to bed. If you need me when I’m not here just push that button, but Inumaki should just sleep through until he’s ready to wake now.” She nodded to a big button on the wall over the bed and Yuuta nodded in understanding.
Once he was alone in the clinic with nothing but the steady trickle of Toge’s IV the situation suddenly seemed to hit him properly. Tears stung at his eyes as he clung to his boyfriend’s clammy hand. When would they have opened his door if Toge hadn’t sent that text? After a week of no contact? Toge likely would have been dead by then.
“I’m so sorry, Toge.” Yuuta’s throat felt painfully tight as he lay down beside his omega on the unfamiliar bed. He gathered Toge in his arms and tried not to flinch at the way Toge’s head flopped unresponsively as Yuuta moved him.
“I’ve got you; I’ve got you.” Yuuta cupped the back of his boyfriend’s head gently as he manoeuvred Toge into their usual sleeping position. Shoko hadn’t said anything but every instinct Yuuta had was telling him that his scent would help Toge right now. He cuddled Toge tenderly and watched his omega weakly move his face into Yuuta’s scent gland.
“I’m right here, sweetheart. Take your time.” Yuuta pressed a kiss against the top of Toge’s head and couldn’t stop his nose from crinkling. The scent he normally indulged in from his boyfriend was almost impossible to detect. Yuuta had been around enough death to recognise its smell, and the fact that it was clinging to Toge’s skin terrified him more than anything else he had faced.
He watched Toge like a hawk that first night. Some part of his brain convinced him that if Yuuta took his eyes off his boyfriend again then Toge would slip away right in his arms, so Yuuta spent the whole night staring at Toge’s face and checking his pulse and his breathing.
It wasn’t until almost lunch time the next day that Toge seemed to shift from comatose to something more like a sleep, but the slight fidgeting was like a lighthouse of hope after the pitch-black storm of the last 12 hours.
“You’re doing so well, Toge.” Yuuta gave his boyfriend a quick squeeze of a hug and his heart soared when Toge sniffled in response to the touch.
“How is he?” Shoko asked when she came to change the IV.
“He seems a bit more responsive but he hasn’t opened his eyes or anything.” Yuuta said as he stroked sweaty hair out of Toge’s face. It was strange to see his boyfriend’s hair so flat; normally it stuck up in all directions after Toge slept and he just left it like that.
“I’m not expecting him to wake up right away, don’t worry. You’ve done a good job scenting him overnight; I’m sure that will give him some comfort even if he isn’t aware of it.” Shoko’s praise brought a brief smile to Yuuta’s face but it quickly faded away as he searched Toge’s face.
“Sensei, I have a question.” Yuuta had been thinking about it for most of the night – since there wasn’t much else for him to do – and he still felt like he was missing something. Shoko hummed as she took one of Toge’s hands and started another round of reversed cursed energy treatment.
“Gojou sealed Toge’s door to keep him safe.” Yuuta began uncertainly. “But Toge still sealed himself. I…don’t understand? Did Toge not trust Gojou’s seal?” At that Shoko looked up.
“What do you mean?” She asked sharply.
“Well, Gojou said it would basically make Toge’s room like a bubble. No sound and no scent would leak out. He said it was to protect Toge’s modesty.” Yuuta blushed at that.
“He said that the seal would do that?” Shoko was holding Toge’s hand tightly, much tighter than she normally would, and Yuuta worried that he had asked something he shouldn’t have.
“Yes. So I was just wondering why Toge chose to seal himself…” Yuuta trailed off at the thunderous look on Shoko’s face.
“That fucking man.” She hissed through her teeth. “He would make everyone’s lives so much fucking easier if he fucking shared details like that.” The intensity of her swearing made Yuuta want to shrink into himself and bring Toge with him.
“Did- did he not say anything?” Yuuta asked meekly.
“Well, he clearly didn’t tell Inumaki since he came to me asking for the seals before his heat!” Shoko snapped. Yuuta’s eyes widened and he looked away from Toge to check Shoko’s face.
She looked like she could have flipped an erupting volcano without breaking a sweat with only the sheer force of her fury.
“You gave him the seals? He asked for them?” Yuuta’s shock quickly burned into anger at Gojou for not telling Toge something so important.
“Of course he asked for them! The poor kid was terrified he’d end up raping someone if he cried out!” Shoko shook her head angrily but Yuuta noticed how the energy she was sending into Toge didn’t even waver.
“He thought he’d…oh. Oh, sweetheart.” Yuuta’s heart broke as he looked back to Toge’s face. He ducked down and lay a kiss against Toge’s forehead before nuzzling his nose against Toge’s gently. “You’re always so worried about hurting anyone. You’ve got to stop hurting yourself instead.” Yuuta whispered quietly, hoping the words would reach Toge wherever he was inside his head.
“I wouldn’t have given him them if I’d known what sort of seal Gojou was going to make.” Shoko gave Toge’s a hand before putting it down on the bed.
Suddenly the strange look of guilt Yuuta thought he’d seen on her face last night made sense.
“I know you wouldn’t, sensei.” Yuuta looked over at her and gave her a weak smile. “You probably gave him so much peace of mind if he thought he might have hurt someone without the seals.”
“Yes, peace of mind is a lovely thing to have while you dehydrate and starve yourself to death.” Shoko snapped as she got up and went over to her computer to update Toge’s notes.
Yuuta had no idea what to say to that, so he just held Toge tightly and searched his face for any signs of waking until Shoko left the clinic again.
If Yuuta was Gojou right then he would have been fearing for his life.
***
By evening, a whole 24 hours now spent in the clinic, Yuuta could take no more. He had to get the awful scent of near-death off his omega’s skin.
If Yuuta’s life had been a romance novel he would have picked his omega up like he weighed nothing – Toge had lost some weight but he was still solid – and slung the IV bag over his shoulder, but Yuuta’s life was astronomically far removed from a romance novel. Maybe more of a horror manga.
So Yuuta carefully got Toge off the bed and into a wheelchair and awkwardly propped the IV stand on the footplate. He tucked Toge’s chin against his chest to try to stop his head lolling deadweight too much while Yuuta transported him; even after a day of working with it the floppiness of Toge’s body right now terrified him. Yuuta moved slowly, anxious not to somehow have Toge tip out of the chair and rip his IV out, and made a quick pitstop at his room for some clothes for them both and his shower caddy before rolling Toge to the bathroom.
Shoko had put Toge into a hospital gown since their sudden arrival, so thankfully it wasn’t difficult to get the omega undressed, and Yuuta dropped it without a care onto the floor. Yuuta shed his own clothes until he was stood in just his boxers and scooped Toge out of the chair so they could share a stool at the shower.
Yuuta sat as far back on the stool as he could and sat Toge in front of him before carefully leaning Toge’s back against his front so Yuuta didn’t have to worry about his boyfriend falling and injuring himself.
“I’m so sorry, love, I’ll try to be quick.” Yuuta pressed a quick kiss to Toge’s sweaty temple, but the acrid scent of cum and sickness reassured him he was doing the right thing. There were times when Toge didn’t care enough to shower, but even Toge would have drawn the line about three days ago if his mind hadn’t been heat burnt.
He set the shower to lukewarm and sluiced the water over Toge’s body, careful not to get the seals around his mouth wet and end up almost waterboarding his mate. Once he was sure he had reached everywhere he turned the water off and absolutely smothered a wash cloth in his shower gel.
He scrubbed determinedly at Toge’s grimy skin, even washing the soles of his feet and between his toes to be sure he hadn’t missed anywhere, but when all that was left was Toge’s…intimate parts…Yuuta had to swallow a strong sense of guilt.
“I’m so sorry, Toge. I don’t want you to get sore.” Yuuta sent a prayer up that it wasn’t too late for that and cleaned between his boyfriend’s legs as gently but quickly as possible. He had thought about asking Shoko if she bathed patients, but Yuuta got the feeling Toge would rather die than be sponged down by Shoko even if she was a doctor.
If it hadn’t been such a horrifyingly stressful 24 hours Yuuta might have been impressed at the amount of cum he washed off of his boyfriend that evening, but as it was all he could think was that Toge must have been having an absolute nightmare of a time to orgasm that many times but still feel so awful that he had to send an SOS.
“You’ve done so well, Toge, we’re almost there.” Yuuta promised as he turned the shower back on and washed all the suds away. There was a definite murky grey colour to the water that came off Toge’s skin. Yuuta tipped Toge’s head back gently to rest against his shoulder and protected the omega’s face with one hand while he worked the warm water through Toge’s greasy hair with the other hand.
He was sure Toge usually used better products on his hair for it to be so shiny but Yuuta gave the boy’s hair a thorough scrub with his own 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner. Once he rinsed the suds out and ran his fingers through Toge’s normally spiky hair he was surprised at how sleek it seemed between his fingers. Maybe Toge was just blessed with amazing platinum hair, like some sort of model?
“Why am I thinking about this?” Yuuta asked the silent bathroom in disbelief at his own train of thought. Maybe not getting any sleep for a few days was starting to get to him.
Yuuta shook his head as if he could shake the stupidity right out and set to work on his last mission: cleaning the exposed part of Toge’s face. While the omega had been recuperating Yuuta had cleaned away so much sweat from Toge’s face as he struggled to break the fever. Yuuta frothed some shower gel in his hands and gently rubbed it over Toge’s clammy brow and down his temples; the motion was almost soothing, like Yuuta was giving his lover a head massage.
And then Toge made a sound.
Yuuta almost fell off the stool in shock and he watched Toge with wide eyes to see if any more sounds came. As desperate as Yuuta was for Toge to wake up he could do without him waking up stark naked in the shower room.
Once a minute had passed in fraught silence Yuuta cupped some water in one hand and wiped away the soap from Toge’s face.
“There. All clean.” Yuuta pressed a kiss to Toge’s forehead. Toge smelt so much like him after being cleaned with Yuuta’s shower stuff; it was so much more of a relief to his alpha than Yuuta had thought it would be. Having Toge not smelling like he was on the verge of death was doing wonders for his nerves.
Yuuta was giving himself a quick wash with his second wash cloth – he might as well do it now because he knew there was no way he’d be leaving Toge’s side to do it later – when Toge made another sound. Yuuta froze and watched his omega’s face closely.
Toge’s eyebrows were pinched together, the most expression Yuuta had seen on his face since they parted ways before Toge’s heat, and suddenly Toge let out another whimper against his seals.
Yuuta had never wanted to rip the damn things off more.
“You’re okay, baby, you’re okay. As soon as you’re awake we’re taking these cursed things off.” Yuuta promised vehemently. He cupped Toge’s cheek with a damp hand, but Toge rolled his head away and into the scent gland on Yuuta’s neck.
Yuuta felt as frozen as that woolly mammoth found perfectly intact in a glacier.
Toge seemed to settle with his face against Yuuta’s neck. Once Yuuta was sure he was okay he quickly rinsed himself off. He stood up and moved a little way away with Toge against him and his foot hooked around the IV stand to bring it with them until he could bundle his omega in a towel somewhere that wasn’t wet. Yuuta dried Toge quickly, cuddling the omega close to keep him warm in case he was feeling cold, and skimmed another kiss over his boyfriend’s forehead before grabbing the clothes he had brought for Toge.
He dressed Toge in some of his sweats and one of the shirts Toge always seemed to borrow and relief hit Yuuta so hard that tears started to prick in his eyes. Somehow Toge seemed so much less sickly than he had half an hour ago. Yuuta scrubbed his arm across his eyes to force the tears away and placed Toge back into the wheelchair and set the IV stand back on the footplate.
“There!” Yuuta gave a watery smile to his unconscious boyfriend and moved back to dry himself off. Yuuta dried and dressed in lightning speed, but each muffled whimper Toge made felt like a knife to his heart.
Toge was crying for something and Yuuta couldn’t do anything.
Yuuta wheeled Toge back to the clinic after quickly throwing his clothes into his room to launder at a later date.
He parked the wheelchair next to Toge’s bed in the clinic and carefully lifted his omega up and back into bed. He made sure the IV stand was where Shoko had left it and tucked Toge in before sinking back into his seat by the bed.
Exhaustion slammed into Yuuta like Maki’s staff now that his task was complete.
Toge didn’t smell like death anymore, but he was still clearly unwell.
Some part of Yuuta had been hoping that Toge would miraculously wake up after being showered. Yuuta was mortified to feel his lips trembling as it sunk in that he had no idea when Toge would wake up. Yuuta tried to stifle his sniffles as he roughly pressed the heels of his hands into his stinging eyes, but he hated the unknown.
Nothing tickled his anxiety like not knowing something important, and right now nothing was more important than Toge waking up properly.
***
Maki dropped some food in for him a couple hours later but, as much as Yuuta appreciated the gesture, Yuuta barely managed more than a few mouthfuls of it. It had nothing to do with Maki’s cooking, which tended to be hit or miss but this one was actually alright, and everything to do with the fact that Toge seemed to be getting more and more distraught.
It didn’t seem to matter how close Yuuta got: the omega whimpered and whined behind the seals he had locked his voice with. Even with his face pressed into Yuuta’s neck Toge would whimper and try to push his face closer, but never seemed any closer to waking.
Around daybreak of Toge’s second morning in the clinic he started crying Yuuta’s name. It was muffled by the seals, but Yuuta recognised it for what it was. His name was one of the few non-food things Toge felt confident to say; there was no way Yuuta could misunderstand it.
“Yuuta!” Toge cried in anguish against his neck, thrashing in the bed as his body struggled with something Yuuta didn’t understand.
“I’m here, I’m right here, baby.” Yuuta smoothed his hand through Toge’s hair and pressed kisses over his face, but nothing seemed to reach his mate.
“Yuuta!” Toge was straining against him one moment and then trying to get closer the next.
“Morning, Okkotsu.” Shoko wasn’t surprised to see him up on the bed holding Toge against him, but whatever she saw on his face made her do a double take.
“What’s wrong?” She came over to the bed and started the process of changing Toge’s IV. Yuuta wasn’t even sure if they were helping; Toge seemed to be fading away beneath his fingertips.
“He keeps calling for me.” Yuuta choked out, clinging to Toge like a lifeline. “I’ve been here the whole time but he keeps crying for me.” It was breaking Yuuta’s heart. He was almost ready to start shaking Toge to see if that finally woke him and ended this hell.
“That must be hard.” Shoko nodded sympathetically as she sorted the IV line out around the clothes Yuuta had dressed Toge in the night before. “It’s a good sign, though, as shitty as it feels. He’s starting to come round more if there’s words. It’s usually a sign that his brain is starting to work through everything that happened.”
“He might wake up soon?” Yuuta looked at their teacher with tears in his eyes, past the point of caring how he looked. At this point, after 36 hours in the clinic with no sleep and hardly remembering to eat, Yuuta probably looked about as haggard as Toge.
“I can’t promise anything, Okkotsu.” Shoko reminded him gently. “The signs are promising, though, so don’t lose heart. You’ve been doing a great job. Scenting him and talking to him is all you can do and you’ve been doing it well. I’m starting to worry this clinic is never going to smell neutral again.” Her teasing managed to pull a weak tearful smile from Yuuta.
“You’re almost there, baby.” Yuuta buried his face in Toge’s hair once Shoko was done. Toge’s natural scent was starting to emerge from under Yuuta’s scent and Yuuta breathed it in greedily. It was more reassuring that Shoko’s words could ever be that Toge was finally starting to smell like himself again.
Yuuta must have nodded off, because the next thing he was aware of was a sound that made every hair on his body stand on end and scraped violently along every nerve he had.
It took a few terrifying seconds to realise it was coming from Toge, who had pretzeled himself around Yuuta in their sleep.
A genuine omega cry.
A noise they were only supposed to make in immense distress to signal they needed help.
Yuuta’s omega was crying for him when he was already as close as he could get.
There was no hope of Yuuta stifling the tears as he gathered Toge up in his lap and cupped the omegas face, desperately wishing the eyes that were moving so rapidly under delicate lids would just open.
“I’m right here, sweetheart. Just wake up. God, Toge, please just wake up. You don’t need to cry, I’m right here. I said I’d protect you, didn’t I? I’m doing everything I can, baby, but you just need to wake up.” Yuuta pleaded. Despite his hands cupped around the omega’s face Toge’s head lolled back and Yuuta lay him back down. Tears were leaving sticky tracks down Toge’s face and Yuuta watched with his heart in his throat as Toge’s head thrashed violently.
Yuuta was abruptly aware of his own distraught scent and realised it was probably contributing to Toge’s pain, so he tried to take some deep breaths and after a couple of minutes he managed to let out a calming scent for his omega. He focused on his breathing as he watched Toge’s face, and after a few minutes of this new scent Toge went slack and the agonising cries stopped.
When Maki came to bring Yuuta some lunch she found Yuuta sat up cradling Toge in his lap and staring blindly down into his omega’s face.
“If this keeps up, I’m dragging you out of here, Okkotsu.” She threatened as she set food down next to Yuuta. “You’re starting to look worse than he is.” She told Yuuta what he had been suspecting for this last day.
“I can’t leave him.” Yuuta shook his head numbly. Hours of Toge crying against his seals had worn Yuuta’s spirit past the bone, but there was no way he could leave. How could he hurt his omega like that when he so obviously needed Yuuta?
“If you want to stay then I want to see you eat all of this. And drink this.” She almost tossed a bottle of water at him but seemed to realise that that would have been a disaster and instead set it down next to the food.
“Thanks, Maki.” Yuuta rubbed his face and grabbed the food she had brought him. He ate mechanically, watching Toge the whole time, and the food felt like ash in his mouth. He made sure to drink his water slowly so he didn’t end up vomiting everything up and being back at square one.
“Good job.” Maki nodded approvingly. As she was collecting up the rubbish for him another muffled cry ripped out of Toge and froze her in place.
“He’s been crying like that?” She asked once she regained the ability to move.
“Yeah.” Yuuta’s lip trembled. “Started a few hours ago. Nothing seems to help.” Yuuta hid his face in Toge’s hair to try to keep his tears from Maki.
They were approaching 48 hours in the clinic and Yuuta had had maybe four hours sleep in that time; his emotions were fraught.
“Try putting the scent gland on your wrist right under his nose.” Maki suggested softly. Yuuta glanced over at her and the soft look on her face shuttered. “Mai is an omega. I used to do it for her when we were kids if she was sick.” She explained stiffly.
“I’ll try. Thank you, Maki. For everything.” Yuuta smiled tiredly before positioning his inner wrist under Toge’s nose.
“Let me leave first!” She shrieked. The thought of being present for another alpha scenting their omega was clearly too much for Maki: Yuuta had never seen her move faster than she did when she booked it out of the clinic right then.
Yuuta burst into tears watching Toge immediately relax at having his scent right against his nose.
When this was over Yuuta would do anything for her. Possibly for the rest of his life.
***
Yuuta managed to sleep a little that night, although it was light and he woke each time Toge did more than stir, but the real miracle came as lunch approached the next day.
Toge’s eyes opened.
He looked dazed and confused, but Yuuta had never loved Toge’s purple eyes as much as he did seeing them that morning.
“Toge?!” Yuuta tried not to shout, but desperation made his voice louder than he would normally talk when they first woke. He watched wide eyed as Toge’s head sluggishly moved so he could face Yuuta. Toge graced Yuuta with a slow sleepy smile as he registered that they were cuddled up together.
Yuuta saw Toge’s mouth open, but now Toge was awake to process the taste of – the surely grungy – seals his nose crinkled cutely.
“Can I take them off? Shoko told me not to do it while you were out but, God, baby, I hate seeing them on you.” Yuuta’s hand was already moving of its own volition toward his boyfriend’s face.
Toge’s hands came up, although it looked like it took a lot of effort.
Off. Please. Toge’s signs were sluggish but Yuuta got the message loud and clear and made quick work of unsealing Toge’s face. Toge didn’t seem to mind his head being manhandled back and forth while Yuuta worked the bandages off, but maybe it was because his brain was still coming back online.
“There!” Yuuta exclaimed in satisfaction as he dropped the filthy seals onto the floor. He cuddled Toge close and took a moment to bask in the relief of seeing his eyes and his entire face. The skin that had been covered looked pasty and wrinkly, like Toge had been underwater for too long, but hopefully that would clear up the longer the seals were off.
Thank you. Toge signed clumsily before his hands dropped back into his lap like they weighed a ton.
“Do you remember anything? Shoko…she said you might not.” Yuuta stroked Toge’s hair slowly as he asked the question he had been dreading. Part of him hoped Toge couldn’t remember any of it, but some of him – the morbidly curious part – almost wanted to know what had happened in that sealed up room.
Hot. Stressed. Pain. Toge signed slowly, as if he was thinking hard about his answer.
“I’m so sorry you were hurting so badly.” Yuuta held him tighter and Toge nuzzled his face into the scent gland so freely given to him. “When I got your text…God, you don’t even know, Toge. I almost broke your door down with Rika before Gojou unsealed it for me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him look so worried.” Yuuta couldn’t help clinging to Toge tighter as he thought about it. Honestly, over the last few days he had been actively trying not to think about the state they had found his boyfriend in.
Toge seemed to think about this, probably trying to line it up with what he could remember, when he suddenly jerked in Yuuta’s embrace. Yuuta looked down worriedly, just in time to see Toge sign.
Muzzle. He signed against Yuuta’s chest. Toge’s eyes had filled with tears and the omega struggled anxiously until Yuuta opened his arms and let Toge move back.
“What’s wrong? Are you hurt anywhere?” Yuuta’s eyes were immediately scanning over his boyfriend. Maybe now that he was moving around aches and pains were becoming apparent that he hadn’t noticed when he was comatose? Yuuta couldn’t help but flicker his eyes down to Toge’s crotch. Maybe he was feeling the repercussions of a difficult heat?
Not hurt. Yuuta muzzled? Why? Tears ran down Toge’s face as he tried to make sense of what he was remembering. Toge’s smaller hands were suddenly on his face, touching all around his cheeks and his jaw as if he was trying to convince himself that the muzzle hadn’t hurt Yuuta.
“The- you remember the muzzle of all things?” Yuuta asked disbelievingly before he realised his mistake. “Well…I guess you would. Sorry.” He caught one of Toge’s shaking hands and pressed a kiss to his palm.
“It was Gojou’s only term for letting me in. If I hadn’t agreed to be muzzled he would have seen to you himself, one omega to another, because he didn’t want me to get overwhelmed by your heat scent and bite you when you didn’t want it. He took it really seriously, Toge. He was adamant to keep you safe. I wouldn’t even have thought of it, to be honest, I was just so worried about you. I think he knew that.” Yuuta laced their fingers together and held Toge close again.
Toge wiggled his hand straight back out to sign, which Yuuta should have seen coming.
No muzzles. Never. He buried his tearful face in Yuuta’s chest.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t mean to upset you.” Yuuta rocked him gently and watched as Toge slowly relaxed into the motion. He felt awful for upsetting Toge so much, but he had honestly forgotten about the muzzle until Toge mentioned it. He should have known that would have stuck in Toge’s mind, but somehow it seemed so insignificant compared to the last few days of Yuuta’s life.
“God, Toge…when we found you…the smell was awful. I couldn’t have been thinking less about claiming you. Everything smelt…distraught. Like grief. And pain. I just wanted to bundle you up and make you feel better. I barely even felt the muzzle, but I would do it again if it meant I got to help you. Don’t look at me like that; I couldn’t just leave you to Gojou when you were calling for me.” Yuuta bumped their foreheads together gently and tried not to cry tears of joy as Toge’s gaze held his.
Toge was awake. He was really and truly awake!
“Okaka.” Toge croaked in protest. His face crumpled at the pain in his throat and he hid himself back against Yuuta’s shoulder.
“Shoko said your throat would probably hurt for a while. From- from prolonged exposure to the sealing.” Yuuta still vehemently wished he had been allowed to remove them as soon as he had seen them marring his boyfriend’s beautiful face.
“Shake.” Toge tried to wave it off, but there was no hiding the way he cringed when it slapped down against Yuuta’s chest like a dead fish.
“You’ll probably feel pretty weak for a couple days. You’ve actually lost weight too. She’s had you on IV fluids since Gojou brought us here.” Yuuta’s explanation only made Toge frown at him.
How long? He signed between them.
A lifetime. An eternity. An agonising, unbearable, unquantifiable time, Yuuta thought.
“You’ve been here almost four days. Shoko looked like she might actually have a heart attack when Gojou teleported us in.” Yuuta laughed, but it sounded hollow even to him. “She was asking all these questions that we didn’t know the answers to and in the end she told us to get lost while she dealt with you.”
Toge looked up at his alpha curiously and Yuuta looked back at him before giving a small smile.
“No, I didn’t move. I don’t think I could have. I needed to see you. I needed to be right here, with you.” Yuuta brought their hands together again and smothered soft kisses over Toge’s skin. “Once she was done doing whatever she did she left you to me. So I wheeled you to the bath with your IV stand and cleaned you up. I’m sorry if that was invasive, but I didn’t think you’d want to lie in all that mess for however long it took until you woke up.”
Yuuta almost wanted to bow his apology. It was the one thing he still felt incredibly guilty for doing – bathing Toge while the omega was out of it – but he was sure it had been the right thing to do.
Toge waved it off easily. A weight Yuuta hadn’t even realised was there suddenly lifted from his chest knowing that Toge wasn’t upset about this. It wasn’t like it was the first time he had seen Toge naked; maybe that was why Toge wasn’t bothered. Maybe Toge just trusted Yuuta enough to know he wouldn’t have done anything untoward.
You did the right thing. I must have been gross. Toge gave him an encouraging smile as he signed, as if he could read all of Yuuta’s inner turmoil.
“You looked like you’d had a really rough time, love.” Yuuta said sympathetically. “It was a relief to get you clean, to be honest. I don’t think my nerves could have handled you smelling so unwell for four days. I barely handled it with you smelling like me.” Toge rubbed his face against Yuuta’s scent gland at that, effectively smothering himself in Yuuta’s scent.
Yuuta had been scenting his boyfriend nonstop since they found him, but seeing Toge finally alert and doing it for himself cracked the stress that had stiffened his heart these last few days.
I’m sorry. Toge signed, taking Yuuta by surprise. I didn’t expect it to be like THAT.
“None of us did. I think Shoko feels guilty. Like she mislead you about how it would be or something. I didn’t really ask; I was too busy watching you like a hawk.” Yuuta shrugged.
He wasn’t sure if he should tell Toge about the miscommunication between Gojou and literally everyone else being the reason Toge had decided to seal himself. Yuuta thought that that was a conversation Toge needed to have Shoko. It was definitely something he knew Shoko would want to talk to Toge about.
You look … tired. Toge signed once Yuuta refocused on his hands.
“That was so tactful for you. You must be under the weather.” Yuuta teased and Toge rolled his eyes. Being able to talk with Toge again deepened the crack splintering his aching heart.
Okay. You look like absolute shit. Please get some sleep. Better? Toge amended.
“Much.” Yuuta nodded. “If Toge can talk shit then all is well with the world.” Yuuta smiled, and when Toge snuggled closer into him Yuuta tried not to fall apart completely.
Toge was finally awake.
Toge had got better.
The ordeal was finally, finally over.
Tears definitely prickled at his eyes when Toge bore his throat for him, returning the gesture he had no idea Yuuta had spent so much of their time in here doing for him, and Yuuta nuzzled into the offered scent gland like a drowning man throws himself at water.
His boyfriend’s scent, finally back to the strength Yuuta was used to and offered to him so willingly, shattered the last bit of the ball of stress that Yuuta’s heart had turned into these last few days. If Toge felt the tears that ran over his neck he didn’t mention it.
Face buried in his boyfriend’s throat; Yuuta finally let himself rest.