Chapter Text
Mike Wheeler would like to let the world know that he hates his life. After the fiasco that was the Mind Flayer, his mother has continued to give both him and Nancy very stern talkings to. Something about telling her when they’re leaving the house, he doesn’t know, he isn’t paying any attention to her lecture. He’s wasting crucial time!
Unlike all the other times prior when it came to dealing with the Upside Down this one doesn’t have a happy ending. With Starcourt burning down, the unveiling of Russians in Hawkins, and the fact that Dr. Owens thinks it’s best for the Byers-Hopper family to move, everything in Mike’s life has gone to shit. And he isn’t even taking into account the absolute fuck-fest that is his strained relationship with his best friend. Which, yeah Mike totally still needs to apologize to Will. Maybe they can rebuild Castle Byers before he moves. He’d have to ask but-
“Michael Wheeler, are you paying attention?” his mother snaps at him.
“Yeah, yes, of course.” he says, knowing he’s fucked. But, he needs to leave, like now, because the other Party members are not going to wait for him. “Mom, I really need to get going. Remember? I was going to hang out at Will’s place, you know, before he leaves.” he says, trying to get his mother’s sympathy.
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It was two weeks after the July 4th incident and the Party was still struggling to find out things to do over the remaining course of summer break. They were planning on going to Will’s place, maybe renting a few movies, and having a sleepover. Like old times. But, this day was different.
Mike knew he and Will still had a lot to talk about and so when Lucas and Dustin said their parents wanted them home at 8, Mike knew that this was the perfect opportunity.
Since Hopper has moved into the Byers’ household, he included a rule that Mike, under no circumstances, was allowed in Jane’s room. Which is actually Will’s old room, and Will now shares a room with Jonathan. Which cannot be comfortable, at all. But Jonathan does spend most of his time either at Nancy’s or Steve’s, so it works out. Kind of.
But that’s besides the point. Jane is having Max sleepover, so the girls have mostly stayed in their own room, going to hide away as soon as Dustin and Lucas left. And since Jonathan isn’t home right now, Mike and Will can talk in the privacy of Will's room. Mike has no idea why Jonathan has been a bit on the fence about him lately. He used to be so chill with Mike, often giving him music recommendations and just genuine advice when he was younger. Although it makes sense why he’s been distant. He kind of hurt Will. He did hurt Will.
Mike knows the air is thick with tension, but both him and Will don’t really want to get into another argument. They’re tired of constantly being at each other’s throats. So they talk about things that don’t pertain to them, to their relationship. Mike asks about Will’s drawings, if he has any new ones- Mike hopes he does, he really wants to add some more into his binder collection of them- and Will asks in turn if he’s made any new tapes. He’s been more into music lately, after Robin and Steve got a job at the records shop. Before they got fired. And for a bit, everything seemed okay. It was like they were Mike and Will again. Like they were still best friends. But Mike knows they’re just playing pretend.
As time passes and the moon rises, both boys begin getting ready for bed. Lying down on opposite beds, Will in Jonathan’s and Mike in Will’s, neither one can fall asleep. And maybe it’s comfort that the dark brings to Mike, or the fact that Will feels hidden within its shadows, do both boys open up.
“I’m sorry.” Mike begins, staring at the ceiling. “I know that this apology is late, and that it might not even mean anything, but I am. For everything. For acting like an asshole to you all summer, and for…saying what I said. I just, it’s hard.”
“What does that mean?” Will asks, with a shake of his head.
“Like- like my brain doesn’t get how I feel. Y’know?”
“Not really.” But he does.
“I just, I feel like…there are a lot of things I want to say and do, but I just can’t do them right. I didn’t want to hurt you Will but I did. And I never wanted to, I never want to do that. You-” taking a deep breath, “you’re my best friend Will.”
“I know Mike. You’re my best friend too.”
“I shouldn’t be. I was an asshole to you, I said horrible things to you and I, Will I hurt you. And I just, ever since El came back in the fall I’ve been scared of losing someone again. That- that one of you would be taken again, because somehow the world only wants me to have one you. And I just, I didn’t want to lose time with her.”
“Yeah, I know. I get it.”
“No, Will it-… I shouldn’t have treated you like shit. I shouldn’t have let my fears get the better of me. Because- because I pushed you away. When I should have been holding onto you…and to the Party. I focused solely on El and I-” groaning out in frustration Mike can’t seem to find the right words. To organize his thoughts, to explain himself and his emotions.
“Mike, you don’t have to keep apologizing-”
“I do! I do. Will, I-”, I love you, more than you’ll ever know, “you’re my best friend. And I already lost you once because of some stupid fucking monster, and I almost lost you again because I’m a dickhead. And I-, I didn’t mean it. When I said it’s not my-”
“Mike, it’s fine. Just drop it. I forgive you okay.”
“Why? Why do you forgive me?” Mike asks, sitting up to look at Will’s figure, still lying down in bed.
“Because it’s not something I hadn’t heard before. Because you’re not the first person to say it. Because I know you Mike, you didn’t mean it the way you said it.”
And Mike just stares, uncomprehending.
“You were just upset. You were scared of losing Jane.”
“But I completely disregarded your feelings. I only cared about myself.”
Turning his head to look at Mike, Will gives a little laugh. “Are you really arguing against yourself? Do you not want me to forgive you?”
“Yeah! You should be pissed, you should-” swinging his legs off the bed, “you should punch me. Right in the face.”
“What?” Will asks, sitting up to stare at Mike’s form. “Are you crazy? I’m not going to punch you.”
“You should.”
“Mike-”
“Why not-”
“Because I don’t want to spend the remaining days of summer mad.”
“What?”
“I- I forgive you because I know you mean it Mike. I’ve spent my entire life watching you lie, I know your tells. And I know that you’ve never lied to me.”
“Will…”
“I’m moving.”
“What?” Mike says, as he moves out of the bed, wanting to be closer to the other.
“I-, Dr. Owens thinks it's best.”
“But that doesn’t- Why?”
“He’s both Jane and I’s doctor Mike. He’s moving to California, and my mom thinks it’s best we move too.”
“That’s bullshit! He can’t just-”
“Mike,” he says, putting his hand on Mike’s own shaking one. Deja-vu huh. Except it was Mike doing this for Will. “I know you’re upset. But you can call. And write to El, you aren’t-”
“I’m gonna lose you. Again?”, he says looking at Will’s face illuminated by the full moon. Mike wishes this moment was a better one, he wishes he had Will’s talent, so he could capture this moment forever. “That- this isn’t fair. Will I-”
Pulling Mike close to him, they end in a crushing hug. And for the first time in a while, Mike cries. The last time he cried like this was when they pulled “Will’s” body from the lake. When his mother’s comforting arms allowed him solitude, allowed him to grieve. Where he wasn’t going to be mocked or ridiculed by his father, or by the bullies. Where he could just, let it out.
As they lay in bed together, Mike’s tears all dried and gone, there is so much Mike wants to tell Will. So much he wishes he understood. Why it’s so hard to say “I love you” now, why he feels safe with him, why out of everyone he could lose he knows losing Will would be the worst.
Instead, they just lie there. Like when they were kids, curled around each other, when it was okay for them to do that. Why aren’t they allowed to do this anymore? Why does he have to limit his touches, his hugs, his emotions? Why can’t he just be happy?
Mike knows Will has forgiven him, but he still hasn’t forgiven himself. He can’t. But for now, he’ll just play pretend. For now, he’ll savor all the moments he has with Will. For now, things are okay.