Chapter Text
Shen Yuan was dead.
Honestly, that wasn’t all that surprising. He learned he didn’t really fear death when he found out he was living with Cystic Fibrosis. After all, when he’d known he likely wouldn’t live past thirty—at best he’d get to fifty— why did he need to fear his inevitable demise? What was surprising, however, was that he had not actually succumbed to his illness. He died via asphyxiation from eating a meat bun while cursing the dumbfuck novel, “Proud Immortal Demon’s Way.” And he was only nineteen years old, too. Way to go, Shen Yuan!
When he opened his eyes, he was in a vast, boundless void. Was this what the afterlife was? Nothing and everything combined? As he slowly came to his senses, he realized there was some sort of screen in front of him. His vision hadn’t even focused for long enough for Shen Yuan to be able to read the text before he heard a voice that sounded strangely like Australian Siri cheer, “Congratulations! Congratulations! Congratulations,” What the fuck? And also, wow, way to rub salt in the wound, Siri. I know I died pathetically, you really don’t need to remind me.
“Shen Yuan is actually quite lucky! To have been selected to be placed into such a sophisticated System… not to mention the man you’ll be hosting— oh, Shen Yuan, you’re living this goddess’ dream!” Wait, goddess? Why was this strange woman practically squealing into his ear? “What the fuck? Sorry, I’ve been— sorry, what?” His brain was not keeping up with this information. What was this strange afterlife? He wanted to die in peace, please and thank you!
Looking around, his gaze landed on a dark green screen. Oh, so this is the screen from earlier… before he could actually read what it said, he was interrupted for the second time by the annoying goddess, but if he was to assume she was filling the role of a sort of exposition-giving NPC, he supposed he could listen a little longer.
“Shen Yuan, you’ve been chosen as a… test subject, of sorts. When you died, this goddess looked through your memories and determined that the concerns you rose regarding the writing of Proud Immortal Demon’s Way were,” she paused to chuckle. So his memories were sifted through and now he’s going to become the guinea pig of a goddess who is unnamed and he has no face nor voice to attribute to her, either? Well, whatever! Sign him the fuck up! “let’s suffice it to say that your comments were valid and brought up some interesting points.
“I’ve been bored for quite a while, so I’ve taken your soul and am now going to implant it in something I call a ‘System.’ Don’t worry, dear, it won’t hurt.” Yeah, like that’s actually the only part of this I have an issue with!, he thought indignantly. “Actually, I would rather not do that, thanks. If you would please, I want my soul to be put back to where it came from. I don’t want any part of this.” He heard Australian Siri sigh, it was an awful sound, before she literally ignored everything he said.
“Little Shen Yuan, what if I told you that you could spend your second life as your darling Luo Binghe’s traveling companion, hmm? Would you agree to help me out then?” Why do you sound like you’re placating a child!? And leave Luo Binghe out of this! It’s just you and me, sister!
Heaving a sigh, he weighed his options. If he gave this strange goddess his soul, he would be able to live and travel alongside his favorite character. At the same time, this was the Conqueror of Realms, Emperor of the Three Lands! Heavenly Demon Lord Luo Binghe himself— and he certainly wouldn’t want someone like Shen Yuan with him. Perhaps if he acted kindly he could find a way to stay on his good side? Damn it! I really want to look at all the plants and animals in PIDW, but I don’t want the blackened protagonist to find a way to carve me into a human stick! But how am I supposed to move forward in my afterlife if I don’t accept her offer? For all I know, she’ll keep me here for eternity until I say “yes.”
Finally making his decision, he replied, “So that’s it, huh? I don’t get a choice? At least tell me there are some other perks to doing this shit.” The goddess giggled, fucking giggled and began an extremely convoluted and long-winded explanation (in which she complimented herself practically every other sentence) of what his second life would entail that basically boiled down to:
1. Shen Yuan, upon his acceptance, (“Don’t say that! I don’t even have a choice!”) will become System 00034, the thirty-fourth of its kind to specifically be designated for protagonists. The best of the best kind of System, that every other System wants to be.
2. He had to sign a contract stating that if he fulfilled the goddess’ request (therefore fulfilling the contract), he would be granted a physical body to live out his remaining days in the Proud Immortal Demon’s Way universe. (“Think of this as a consolation prize, even though you’ve done nothing to deserve it.” She had explained to him. “That’s so cruel! I’ve done everything to deserve a real, healthy body! Why couldn’t I just have been human from the beginning?!”)
3. He will be hosting Luo Binghe, who recently died in his own world (“Proud Immortal Demon’s Way had such an awful ending. The only good thing about this deal is that I can finally fix it.” They both knew that he wasn’t telling the entire truth, but one would never admit it— even to himself— and the other enjoyed his oblivious nature too much to jeopardize it.)
4. His aim was to lead Luo Binghe to his ultimate goal of rebuilding his harem and empire. (“Oh, and as compensation, Little Shen, I’ll give you the ability to communicate with the other System stationed in your world,” she paused for a moment, thinking. After a while of deliberation, she added, “once you meet them.” She was quite smug, though she knew that the only reason she tacked on that condition was to make her entertainment last longer. )
5. Shen Yuan will reduce something called “B-points” any time Luo Binghe acts out of character. (The “B” stands for “Badass!” Cool, isn’t it, Little Shen?) If Luo Binghe loses all of his B-Points, he will be penalized: he has to restart the world from the beginning with a different System. As for Shen Yuan, well… (“I get put back into my corpse?! What the fuck! I was just starting to like you!”)
When he realized the deep green screen was his new body, Shen Yuan began having second thoughts. “I’ll really look like this?”
”Yes, you will, Tiny Shen! Do not fret, the sooner you fulfill the contract, the sooner you will be beautiful and healthy! Now, hurry up! I don’t wish to be bored any longer.” As soon as she spoke those words, Shen Yuan felt a comforting numbness envelop his entire body. He blinked as his signature wrote itself on what looked to be a scroll. Wasn’t forgery a crime or something?
After his soul had just been signed away, (“Don’t say it like that, dear! I’m sure you’ll fulfill the contract.”) the goddess began instructing Shen Yuan on how to transfer his consciousness. “Okay, Yuan-er. Close your eyes and focus on Luo Binghe. What you love most about him, what you hate the most about him… all of him. As my last words to you, I want you to take these to heart,”
Shen Yuan was already losing feeling in his limbs as he remembered how he had felt reading Luo Binghe’s tale for the first time. How he imagined Binghe’s laughter, how he thought he would be if he was shown kindness. True, genuine kindness. He was so far gone he didn’t hear the last words of the goddess. “if you want to be with him, truly… Shen Yuan, all I ask is for you to become someone he will love unconditionally. Be someone good to him, and your contract will be fulfilled.”
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Luo Binghe was dead.
His Majesty, Lord Luo Binghe, Emperor of the Combined Realms, had been murdered by his wives.
He didn’t bother asking why they would want to kill him—Binghe knew he was controversial and could never satisfy everyone he ruled over—no, what Luo Binghe wanted to know was how.
How was Sha Hualing able to convince Mobei-Jun’s forces to overthrow him? Had that pledge of loyalty really meant to so little to her? Clearly, if she wanted him dead. They would meet again, he was sure of it. Instead of letting her live, he’d give Sha Hualing a slow and painful death, comparable to his own Shizun’s. Then in her third life she’d know to never double-cross her emperor. Her Junshang. Never again would he call that woman “wife” or “wildcat.” She didn’t deserve even a modicum of respect, even less an affectionate nickname. She was trash beneath his heel, just like all the rest of them.
How exactly did Liu Mingyan unite the lesser wives under her? They were all sniveling weaklings, that he knew. He wondered what Liu Mingyan saw in them all, but then again, she always had the oddest tastes, didn’t she? Perhaps she’s get a straightforward death. She spent so long blindly following him, hoping he was strong enough to take down her brother’s murderer. Then he’d done so, and she cast him aside. No affection was left for him. It was freely given to Sha Hualing and Ning Yingying, while he was left to pick up the scraps of failed marriages and broken vows. Even still, she was calculating— cruel, even— towards the right person. She knew what was best for her and her loved ones. A beheading would suit her nicely. Straight and to the point, just as she was.
And most of all, he wanted to, no, yearned to know how Ning Yingying obtained that poison! The exact poison he’d seen hurriedly stashed away his his erstwhile master’s drawer. A poison only Shen Jiu knew of. He’d ripped out his Shizun’s tongue, so how had she known where to look? Luo Binghe wanted to watch the world, and these women burn. Perhaps he’d keep Ning Yingying alive. Treating her with sickly sweetness until she could no longer stand it and spilled all her secrets from her pretty lips. After he got what he wanted, he could always kill her and not a soul would bother to say a thing about it.
Here, in this strangely empty void, he presumed he had all of eternity to contemplate how his “loyal” wives had him dead in his bed before he even woke up.
Now, he almost wished that was the case. If he had stayed in that permanent state of self-reflection, he never would have had to meet him. By far the most odd and intriguing little man in history of worlds. Shen Yuan.
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When the strange goddess had told him to travel with Luo Binghe, he should have trusted his gut instincts! No, please take me back! He’s going to rip my soul away from this System and kill me!! Goddess, I want out! he howled to the heavens, only to—predictably— received no reply. He hadn’t even said anything yet, he only just appeared in front of a teenage Luo Binghe and he’s already being glared at. Oh, if looks could kill!
He mustered up what little courage he had and hoped his voice sounded just as calm as he wished he was. He cleared his throat once, then five more times, for good measure.【Luo Binghe, I want to start off with the right foot. Ironic, considering my current body! My name is Shen Yuan, and right now you’re a… teenager, I’m sure you’ve already been able to tell. You see… (｡･･｡) 】Why the hell did he say it like that?? Wasn’t he supposed to sound sophisticated?! This isn’t the time for internal deliberation, Shen Yuan!
【I am known as a ‘System,’ but I would prefer you call me by my name. I know all there is to know about you, and I am also aware that the last thing you remember before meeting me is—】
”This Lord was murdered. This Lord is well aware of what transpired during his first life, you have no need to reiterate that.”
Why was the demon lord so impatient! He had hardly begun to explaim who he was or why he was there before Binghe so rudely interrupted him! Calming himself, Shen Yuan continued,【Well, yes, that’s true. But I need to explain: it is my responsibility to make sure you can fix the mistakes of your previous life, so you may lead a good one this time around. So you’ve been commanded by a higher power to restart your life and rebuild your harem. With me along side you, of course! ٩(•̤̀ᵕ•̤́๑)】
Is it too sappy to say something like “I promise I’ll never leave you?” Yeah, that’s probably too much… looking back at Luo Binghe, he seemed… not too shocked? Which was good! Shen Yuan’s rebellious brain started taking in his features and he had a really weird thought: The protagonist is just as beautiful as he was described! Even more so, even! He loo— before his brain could continue on its Luo Binghe rampage, the man himself began to speak.
“As you said, this Lord is to restart his life. Since this Lord’s death was caused by this Lord’s wives, must everything not pertaining to them stay the same?” Oh, shit… he’s probably talking about changing his fate with Shen Qingqiu… why didn’t my contract say anything about changing the plot like this?! Damn you, vague legal jargon!
【Well, I know what you can’t do, I have like a ton of flashcards of what’s strictly forbidden,— can we get back on topic now? I need to read you this tutorial so we can get started, and I don’t have time for this right now, so please just work with me—】Luo Binghe, you’re really testing my limits right now! You can’t go around asking valid questions I don’t know the answer to!
Luo Binghe stood up in one fluid movement, presumably in an attempt to get closer to Shen Yuan, but groaned in pain and toppled over. Blood soaked through his clothes, all the way to his outer robes.
Shen Yuan immediately dropped the subject of the tutorial in favor of flicking around Luo Binghe, concerned for his well-being. Binghe waved his hand around as if to stop Shen Yuan’s movement. “Do not try to help this Lord with such inconsequential matters. If you must aid this Lord, by order of some sort of god, then you shall. Don’t interfere with this Lord’s life any more than you have to, or this life will not be enjoyable for either of us.” Ah, spoken like a true protagonist! But your speech really isn’t as effective when you’re lying on the ground bleeding to death! If you bleed out, young man, we’ll both be goners!
Shen Yuan watched as Binghe sat himself down in the corner farthest away from Shen Yuan’s screen-like body and took off his outer robe to begin rudimentary first aid. Not knowing what else to do and being barred from helping his Host out, he contemplated just beginning the tutorial.
Even though Luo Binghe said he didn’t want help, the bonus for the tutorial was 100 B-Points, so maybe he could skim some off the top when Binghe didn’t notice and buy medicine? It was worth a shot, at the very least!【Ah, Luo Binghe… I understand you’re rather busy at the moment, so perhaps while I’m speaking you can continue caring for your wounds? ჴ˘ര‸രჴ】
Binghe made a half-hearted affirmative noise, which was better than nothing at this point. The sun was well into rising in the sky by the time Shen Yuan finished relaying what had been explained to him by the goddess.
He paused to allow Binghe to digest all the new information and respond to him by asking questions. He stared off into the distance for a while, before coming back to himself. “So, until this Lord completes his beginner-level quest and unlocks the Out-Of-Character function… this Lord must seek them again, then? And this Lord is unable to do these women or my Shizun any harm?” Luo Binghe seemed deeply disturbed at that news.
【Unfortunately, it must be done, Luo Binghe! If you want to survive here, you need to act kind… like how you were before being thrown into the Abyss.｡ ｡ ゛(ﾉ><)ﾉ】Binghe huffed a mirthless laugh at that, “You truly don’t understand how this Lord feels about this situation, Shen Yuan. The man who abused this Lord for years is right in front of this Lord, about to restart that cycle again, and this Lord is unable to lay a hand on Shen Qingqiu or defend himself?”
Shen Yuan stayed silent when faced with that criticism. He didn’t know what it was like to live a life like Binghe’s. He wanted to say something more, but he knew whatever he said would only fan the flame of Luo Binghe’s resentment. Distantly, he heard footsteps approaching the woodshed and was finally able to give Luo Binghe his beginner-level quest.
Once again looking around the decrepit woodshed, Shen Yuan asked,【Luo Binghe, do you accept the beginner-level quest: “Out of the Goodness of My Own Heart”? | Reward for completing this quest: 100 B-Points】
Luo Binghe looked up from where he was sitting to finally rest his gaze upon Shen Yuan’s form. “So, now we’re getting somewhere. Yes. This Lord accepts.”