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No one ever said anything, but you were sure the secret was out from the way people gave you side-eyes at the GRC camp.
You and Karli had always been close, okay, she always came to you first whenever she was considering a big move, and you were good at keeping secrets, you thought this one would be easy to keep when you’d blearily shared your first kiss on New Year’s Day, your head ringing from the explosions you’d created to close out 2023 with a bang. But, evidently you’d gotten too frisky. Maybe it was the way Karli always made sure you were the first one in the mess hall, or the first to drink out of a bottle that became a Molotov cocktail, or the way you always seemed to get your rations first whenever Karli was in charge of distributing them. One world, one people, you believed in that firmly, and a part of you knew she wasn’t supposed to pick favorites, but still…living in a world where you couldn’t get a shower or eat everyday, you fed off her silver spoon without remorse.
“Dee-Dee,” you called, making the girl at the chess board glance up in surprise, “Where’s Karli?”
She shrugged, but her eyes seared into you— just another uncomfortable sentiment that made you think everyone knew. “I dunno. By the vans was the last time I saw her.”
You nodded and made your way into the street, narrowly dodging a soccer ball kicked by one of the kids as you went.
Dee-Dee was right, Karli was having a hurried, whispered conversation with Dovich while she strapped away boxes of stuff into the van you’d managed to steal along the Estonia-Russia border, she looked worried.
She stopped once she saw you coming, though.
“Hey,” you said cautiously, shoving your hands in your pockets and bouncing on the balls of your feet, trying to appear natural, “Everything alright?”
Karli cracked a nervous smile. “Yeah. We were just talking about how we’re gonna feed everyone during the trip.”
“Ah, yeah. Yeah. I get you.” Estonia hadn’t been kind to you so far.
She raised an eyebrow almost teasingly and pushed in a last cardboard box labelled ammunition before closing the trunk of the van. “Is everything alright with you?”
You nodded. “Uh, yeah, totally. Can’t wait to travel again, that’s all.”
Between the Flag Smashers on the cusp of finding out your relationship with Karli and the creepy text messages you’d been getting ever since you’d arrived in Eastern Europe, you were less than fine, but of course you would never tell her that.
Karli turned to Dovich. “You can leave us.”
He complied instantly.
As soon as he’d turned the corner of the alleyway leading into the GRC camp, Karli reached out and grabbed your hand. “Look, you can tell me anything, alright?”
Your lips kicked up into a sheepish smile. “What makes you think I don’t already tell you everything?”
“When you’re underground, people tend to tell you only the stuff you need to know,” she said. “But we’re different, I just wanna make sure you know that.”
You couldn’t stop grinning now. “I’m perfectly aware, thanks.”
Even though it was broad daylight, Karli reached over for a chaste kiss, and you allowed her to touch you, ignoring the happy little spiral of feeling that came whenever she did that. One of the reasons why you loved her so much was that feeling— you had to force yourself away before you got carried away.
“Alright,” said Matthew, hurrying into the street, apparently not noticing what had just happened, “We can leave by dusk if we start feeding everyone now.”
You couldn’t help but grin at him. “I’m kinda getting a craving for McDonalds, are there any around here?”
You knew the answer. In basically every country you’d been in, you could find a McDonalds.
Matthew cocked his head to the side. “I can see, let’s get a move on!”
Karli grinned at you once again and started for the camp.
John Walker had morals.
Morals and strategies. That was what got you three medals of honour, the ability to keep your head on straight in a fight, pick a target, and roll with it. Sometimes you had to pick a target for leverage, it happened all of the time in Afghanistan, there was that happy medium between justice and a war crime that John liked to linger in. So why was he experiencing such a heavy mental pushback when he suggested to himself that he kidnap one of Karli’s girls?
He wouldn’t even have to hurt her. Just scare her a bit, that’s all. He had known Lemar, known that he wouldn’t have wanted to be murdered without justice— when you were a soldier, you talked about the prospect of being murdered a lot, either because you thought life couldn’t get any worse on the battlefield, or in John’s case, because you were such a good soldier it would be surprising if you didn’t have a target on your head already. Sometimes it was a little bit of both.
He just needed her location. Her location, nothing else. Loyalty tended to run short when people were put on the spot. Just scare her, that’s all.
John rubbed his temples again, sighing. Ever since the serum, it felt like he was experiencing this constant migraine. God, when he got injected with the serum, it felt like his veins were on fire, now everything had been lit on fire since Lemar’s death.
Lemar would have wanted this.
Right. Yeah, he would have. That was a good enough explanation.
He turned over to look at the Captain America shield resting on the other side of the room. Since he wasn’t able to sleep, he kept picking it up and putting it down. It felt so good in his hands— right, even. John had known that he would never truly live up to Steve Rogers since day one, which was exactly why he said he wouldn’t be the new Steve Rogers when he was interviewed by Good Morning America, but he felt like Steve would’ve been proud of him. America needed someone in charge after the Blip, someone to deal with the Flag Smashers.
If he couldn’t find Karli, one of her lieutenants was the next best thing. Yeah. This was the start of another glorious American story. They’d tell it in museums for decades.
As it turns out, there had indeed been a McDonalds in Estonia, so you ordered nearly two hundred dollars worth of burgers and let dinner run a little later than expected. By the time everyone was loading themselves into inconspicuous vans, you realized too late you needed to pee, so you told Karli you were going to find a bathroom and set off.
The way everything worked out, you were a short way from the GRC camp, so you kept your hands in your pockets and your head down as you walked. You were sure Aminah had told you about a shortcut on one of these streets, you just couldn’t remember which o—
BANG!
Something heavy hit the back of your head, and the last thing you saw was your face making contact with the ground before the dark.
Your head was throbbing with pain and your wrists hurt from how tightly they were bound over your head, the rope moving harshly against your skin every time you fidgeted, and whoever had taken you hostage had stuffed a wad of fabric in your mouth so you couldn’t scream.
What the hell was happening?
You blinked the room back into focus and turned your head, trying to figure out where you were. It looked like some kind of warehouse, maybe a factory, there were a bunch of dusty metal mechanisms in the corner of your eye you didn’t recognize. You weren’t even sure if you were in Estonia anymore, but it definitely wasn’t a nightmare, you could see your very real hoodie lying on the floor in front of you.
“Hey.”
You jumped just hearing the voice, and if looks could kill, John Walker would’ve been dead long ago as he strode into view and knelt down in front of you.
“Look, I only need one thing from you, and then I’ll let you go. But if you don’t cooperate with me, I’m gonna have to resort to bloodier methods I don’t wanna use.”
He gestured around the room, then reached for the fabric in your mouth. “Don’t scream.”
You glared at him but allowed the piece of fabric to come out of your mouth, and for a moment you only gasped and gasped and gasped— you hadn’t gotten a good breath of air in hours, it felt like.
In, out. In, out.
Maybe there was a way this could be resolved safely.
John cocked his head to the side, almost smiling at you. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”
You met his gaze. “Go to hell.”
He chewed on his lip, and you couldn’t help but follow his gaze as he took out a thick-handled knife and dragged it absentmindedly up your arm. You were wearing a long-sleeved shirt, so it didn’t touch your bare skin, but you tensed nonetheless.
“Where is Karli Morgenthau?” he asked after a beat.
Silence.
It killed you to do it, but you put on your best confused expression and let your eyes fall onto his face again. “I’m sorry, who?”
John grabbed your face at that, you shrieked at the surprise touch.
“Where is Karli Morgenthau?”
“I don’t know!” you cried. “I swear!”
“You’re lying!”
“Why would I lie when I’m tied up?” you exclaimed exasperatedly. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, just let me go.”
John brought his phone out of his pocket to show you a picture of a security cam dated 03/09/24– your face was clearly in view even though you had your hood up, you were following Karli out to the van.
It hit you like a slap to the face: this was just after Dovich had robbed that bank.
Shit.
“You could end up in prison for that,” John said matter-of-factly, like you didn’t already know.
You grimaced. “I was aware of that when I robbed the bank.”
POW!
He struck you across the face so hard you would’ve fallen to your knees had you not been tied up, and your head swung to the side.
You let out a melodramatic “ow” and spat hair out of your mouth, trying to absorb the sting as fast as possible.
“Where is Karli Morgenthau?” John repeated.
“I already told you,” you replied evenly. “I don’t know where she is.”
“Oh, so robbing the bank was just a one time thing, huh?” he replied sarcastically. “I have more photos of you two, y’know.”
He scrolled through his phone and showed you a video of Karli pushing you against an alleyway wall to kiss you— this time your blood ran cold. You’d responded enthusiastically, you remembered, had snaked your hands up to touch her face as she wedged a knee in between your legs. The video was dated 03/12/24.
“Unless, y’know, you platonically make out with wanted terrorists for the fun of it,” John put in slyly.
You bit your lip. “Yeah, happens all the time.”
POW!
He struck you straight in the mouth this time: you shrieked with pain as the metallic taste of blood pooled on your tongue.
“Where is she?” John roared.
“I don’t know, I swear I don’t know!”
He hit you again and you choked as stars burst in your vision.
“Don’t make me do this,” he said, his voice shaking as he took out the knife again and ran it down your other arm, “I don’t wanna do this.”
It sounded like he was trying to convince himself.
“I don’t know where she is, we went our separate ways!” you yelled at him.
John looked at you, and for a second it was almost like he believed you—
—until he plunged the knife into your abdomen.
You screamed and thrashed against your binds. It was a sting unlike anything else, you couldn’t breathe—
You gasped desperately for air, trying to force it down into your lungs, but were only rewarded with a deeper burn. Because of the super serum, the knife had actually gone most of the way through, you could feel it.
“Fuck,” you panted, “Shit…fuck…”
John still hadn’t taken his grip off the knife, he looked like he could force it even deeper if he wanted. “Just tell me where she is, that’s all you have to do.”
You were losing a lot of blood now, the first wave of nausea wreaked your head as he threatened to tilt the blade upwards. It would take just one flick upwards for him to hit one of your organs— you were tied up, you couldn’t fight back— and then it might be game over for you.
“No,” you snarled, and you felt his hand tense around the knife inside of you.
“Hands off!” someone shouted.
BANG!
You barely saw Dovich before he charged at John, and then they were fighting, metallic and flesh-sounding thuds filling the air as they flew into a corner.
All of a sudden a crowd of Flag Smashers had flooded the room, everyone was yelling, and a much kinder face knelt in front of you.
“Are you alright?” Karli hissed, then she saw the knife. “Shit-“
“Medic!” she screamed over her shoulder before turning to you again. “Can you move?”
“No,” you bit out shakily, “I - I can try-“
“No, don’t,” she said hurriedly, fumbling in her pack for a knife, “Here, here, stay still—“
RIIIP!
She’d cut through the ropes, and with a grateful sting, your arms were free.
“Matthew, help me lift her,” Karli ordered, cursing senselessly under her breath as she tried to put her knife back in the pack, and Matthew dove forward to oblige.
“Where is that God forsaken medic?” she screamed over her shoulder.
You couldn’t care less, you were completely focused on Matthew helping you up now: he was clearly trying to be gentle, but rushing because of the predicament you were in.
As you started moving towards the door, you couldn’t help but look back at the scene. John had a busted lip and Dovich had a black eye, but they were still fighting, their heightened stamina clearly the only thing keeping them going.
“Go!” Karli yelled from behind you, pushing you forward, and you half-waddled, half-scurried out of there.
The next few hours were a blur. You were overloaded with stolen anaesthesia as one of the Flag Smasher medics operated on you and successfully got the knife out of your abdomen, resulting in some pretty ugly neon-blue stitches down your side, and apparently the entire road trip had been paused to search for you after you hadn’t come back, so after you had been found, business resumed as usual.
This meant your reality was staring up at the ceiling of a dingy van, so in pain you were in and out of consciousness, wondering what the future would be like. There was a bright side though: when you were finally able to stay in the world of the living, you were on the Belarusian border.
There was some hold up getting into Poland for some reason, so you were staying in yet another safehouse for the night. Karli insisted on being the only person to help you in, and then, throwing all caution to the wind about subtlety, requested she stay with you.
It would be just the two of you and no one else for the entire night. You had this room to yourselves— it felt illegal, like a secret sleepover you would’ve gotten invited to in middle school had you had a normal childhood.
Yeah, you definitely saw Aminah’s raised eyebrow as she went off to find another room.
“Are you alright?” Karli asked for the millionth time as she tried to settle herself onto the uncomfortable piece of floor she was calling her bed. The room was completely devoid of furniture, so you and her had made the best of what you had: despite your protests, she’d given you all the limp pillows she could find, now you were attempting to find the best way to lie on them without disturbing your new injury.
To be fair, it only stung when you ate, slept, walked, and breathed.
(It stung all the time.)
“I’ll be fine,” you replied. “Really, K, you don’t need to be worried. The medic said it’ll only take a few months to heal, and if I keep my mind off it, time’ll go faster. It’ll work out, I promise.”
Karli pressed her lips together. “I won’t apologize for caring about you.”
Even though your abdomen gave another hiss of pain, you poked her knee with your own in what was supposed to be a reassuring gesture. “I never said you have to.”
Karli couldn’t help but kiss you again, disastrously sweet, and she’d already gone far enough to ensure you had a room alone together, so you let her indulge in you. You indulged in her was probably the more correct term: you stayed like that for a while, on the floor, your mouths lazily roving together, her hand on your face and your hand on her leg, never daring to go any further.
“I love you,” Karli murmured against your lips. “You’re stupidly brave, you know that?”
“I went through all that for you,” you quipped dryly, and kissed her deeper this time.
“I’m gonna make sure Walker never hurts you again,” she breathed back, and even though you were sure she meant it, you also didn’t know if she really knew what she was saying when you were both neck-deep in this glorious feeling, so you said nothing. You sat up on your elbows and dared to move your hand up her leg— then you winced.
Karli felt it too, and her eyes flew open, she stopped kissing you. “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” you tried to say, but the injury had started stinging again, you bit your lip to keep from wincing more.
“Take this,” she replied, and shifted a pillow that had somehow ended up on her side to cushion your injury.
You opened your mouth to protest once again, but Karli shushed you. “I won’t apologize for caring about you.”
You tried to smile up at her. “It’s gonna be a long night.”
Her lips were already on yours again. “I know how to speed it up.”