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Kakashi doesn’t know how to cook very well. He burns rice, the first time he tries, and everything he cooks afterwards never manages to taste not-burnt. Eggs, eventually, become somewhat familiar—and rice does too, in time. Eggs and rice become a staple food choice and, in time, fish joins it as protein that he would otherwise not get.
Anything that doesn’t involve cooking becomes part of his ever-revolving meals. His bento boxes are messy and disorganised, but they are his all the same. He tries. There are never any notes in them, like some of the other kids get, and his rice balls are best described as ‘lumpy’. Still, for the most part, they’re edible.
It’s all Kakashi really needs.
Then, of course, he’s put on a team with the class clown and someone who could, at worst, be described as a hopeless fangirl of a kunoichi. It’s a horrible team. The only saving grace is their jōnin, who ultimately makes a fool of himself within a few minutes of them meeting.
It’s a disaster, to put it lightly. They don’t mesh and Kakashi spends most of his time not learning anything because the other two are too unskilled to know the first thing about being a ninja. Minato seems to be ignorant of their issues and keeps droning on about teamwork like teamwork will save them and-
And they go into the war together and Kakashi is terrified because he knows that wars bring death, and he doesn’t want to die. He’s just a kid, and he hasn’t done anything and he wants to do something, wants to be-
Then it doesn’t matter, because Obito is stolen away from them and it’s all Kakashi can do to follow the track, Rin on his heels, and ignore the mission that they were requested to do.
If there is one lesson that Kakashi knows all too well, it is this: you don’t abandon pack. And Obito, for all his foolishness and stupidness, is pack. Kakashi has to find him, can do nothing less.
He won’t lose another person to this war.
Kakashi does find him, in the end, following the smell of spice that always seems to wrap around Obito. Then there’s a cave-in and they’re all scrambling, running to freedom, and-
And they survive, all three of them, throwing themselves forward into the light with only dust covering them. Kakashi laughs, astounded at their luck; and, after a minute or two, his teammates laugh with them. They are alive and it is glorious. For a second, the war cannot touch them.
Still, the war marches on and they cannot be untouchable forever. They return to the war efforts, to their lives as they had always been, and Kakashi thinks nothing will change. It was a moment in time and maybe he now understands teamwork—but nothing else has changed. Their team is the same as ever.
Except then there is Obito knocking on his door and maybe things aren’t the same. “I brought food,” Obito says, lifting a plastic bag that looks to be stacked high with containers. “You always have that awful bento food and rice and fish and egg, so I figured I’d bring something. You know there’s more food out there than rice and fish and egg.”
“I know,” Kakashi grumbles, even as he widens the door to allow Obito entry. He might not be an Academy student any longer, but his cooking skill hasn’t really increased as a genin. It’s not exactly a skill he’s made any attempts to cultivate either. Why should he? A ration bar here and there will solve all his issues and deal with any nutrient problems that might pop up as a result of his diet.
Obito is not at all impressed when Kakashi tells him this. Rather, he seems quite dismayed.
“I am horrified at your lack of spice rack,” Obito declares. “Do you not know how to cook? That’s like the fundamental of life!”
Chopsticks paused over his noodles, Kakashi raises an eyebrow. “Cooking doesn’t matter,” he says. “We have ration bars, anyway.”
His words make Obito speechless, which is definitely a first, and Kakashi savours the few minutes of quiet he gets as Obito gaps in front of him. One bowl of noodles becomes two and, only when he’s halfway through his second one, does Obito manage to speak again.
“Cooking doesn’t matter?” he echoes, voice high-pitched and twisted with hysteria. Kakashi glares grumpily at him. “How can you say that? Cooking makes life worth living!”
It’s the kind of extreme that Kakashi has come to expect from Obito, so he’s really not surprised in the slightest. Still, he knows better than to push such things with Obito. The other is, after all, somewhat annoying when it comes to topics that he’s passionate about.
So really, when it comes down to it, the fault probably lies with Kakashi, in the end.
Regardless, it leads to a large number of shenanigans and experiments that see Kakashi and Obito banned from cooking in their respective apartment buildings, and ends up with Minato forcefully putting out a fire with a water dragon.
“Overkill,” Kakashi had commented, like he’s not the reason for the fire in the first place.
Needless to say, Minato, too, had been banned from cooking in his apartment building, despite the fact he had been managing as a single bachelor living alone until the cooking combination of Obito-and-Kakashi had entered his life.
It ends with Rin, unsurprisingly.
If Kakashi had to describe Rin and compare her to his first assumption, he’d refuse to od such things. Not only because Rin is rather deadly and an up-and-coming assassin, but also because she’s his friend, now, and his initial thoughts had been rather… uncharitable, even if they had been true. Still, Rin is, undeniably, one of his closest friends alongside Obito. They’re a team, after all.
It’s also how they end up in Rin’s house. Obito has brought his spice rack, which he refuses to leave behind whenever they’re cooking, no matter what they’re cooking, and Kakashi has bought himself his oven mitts. It’s one of the three cooking-related items he owns (the other two are a pot and a spoon, which Obito has criticised multiple times).
“So,” Rin says, gaze as cool as ice and just as deadly, “we will not be setting anything on fire and we will be following the logic whilst we’re in the kitchen. If you do anything that seems out of the ordinary, I will be kicking you out. If you attempt to solve an issue with chakra or some jutsu, I will be kicking you out. If you do anything other than follow my instructions, I will be kicking you out. Understood?”
Kakashi and Obito both swallow. “Understood,” they agree in unison.
Rin might have, in another life, be a battle commander. It’s rather scary to see her now, but that’s neither here nor there.
And, so, it ends with Rin telling Obito that there is a max temperature to everything and he’s not to go beyond it, whilst simultaneously warning him not to put more spice in or so-help-her-she’s-going-to-gouge-out-his-eyes-while-he-sleeps.
It’s a very effective threat.
Kakashi learns his own lessons, too, in that there are actual cook books around which he could have been following all this time if he’d bothered to think for a second and use-more-than-the-two-brain-cells-I-know-you-have.
Really, though, it ends like this:
They sit around a table, food on various platters, and quickly dig in. Kakashi’s kabayaki is enjoyable, even if the skewers are a tad overcooked; and Obito’s hot pot meal is just as good, even if the spice seems to burn the tastebuds off their tongue. It’s Rin’s sukiyaki that really takes the cake, however, and the three of them probably eat far more than they needed to by the end of the evening.
“Alright,” Kakashi says with a sigh, leaning back in his chair. “I’ll admit it. Food is important. I won’t continue eating mainly ration bars as a diet.”
Rin’s chopsticks hit the table with a clatter. “You were doing what?” she asks, even as Obito shouts his cheers for the world to hear. She cracks her knuckles and Kakashi leans back in his chair, definitely not cowering.
“Well,” Kakashi begins, glancing around for help, “you know, I think I’ve got to go. Got to water my bed, make the couch, check that the laundry is still running. See you!”
He vanishes before Rin can get another word in. Rin, with only one person nearby who might know what’s going on, turns her attention to Obito. Obito gulps and slides down his chair. “I don’t suppose you’ll let me go?” he says, and Rin’s glare only worsens.
Obito sighs and gives freedom up for a lost cause. His only hope is that Kakashi will, eventually, avenge him.