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If I only could I could make a deal with ancients

Summary:

Chili pepper reminisces about the mistake that she made as a mother

Notes:

This might be the second chapter but this is actually a prequel too I am fine I am fine I AM FINE these kids have been traumatized enough and I'm going to write about it

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I sat on the small kitchen table with my hands interlocked into each other, holding my chin; it was around 2:00 a.m.
I guess I don't know, I didn't put a clock in the kitchen, and even if I did it's too dark for me to see anything.
Well I know the water glass that is in front of me, that's why I'm in the kitchen in the first place; to get some water after a passionate night with Rye.
But now I am sitting at the kitchen table; everybody else is asleep.
I am not used to this quietness, especially after becoming a mom of 4.
It might have taken me a year to admit it to myself but I am a mom of 4: Gingerbrave, Strawberry, Wizard, and Custard are all my kids, and I love them dearly.
To be honest, getting teleported here was the best thing that ever happened to me.
I used to live on what I stole, starting just with what I needed, but then turned into "I have no other skills so I have to do it to sustain myself" and I started to enjoy it, but being a part of this kingdom is also enjoyable.
Wow, I from two years ago would hate me now, but I've been through a lot of character development, and that's good. Although it doesn't mean I don't miss those days when I could do whatever I want, I'm okay with this life, even enjoying it.
But then I remembered why I sat down; the kids have started changing.
I know they try not to show it, but I can see when Custard calls himself King that much, when Wizard throws himself into his studies even more than before, Strawberry is even more scared, and Gingerbrave, he tries to hide it the most, but I can see his brave smile faltering.
I could feel them faltering; struggling to go on, I could hear the cries and screams when they have a nightmare, and I could feel them changing, becoming less like themselves.
Like me when I had to become a thief, and I hate to see them like this, hate to see the happy-go-lucky kids that I met slowly becoming soldiers in a war that we basically started
Maybe they don't tell anybody, but I know we are the ones who started the war; we are the ones who released her.
I don't think we have ever told that to anybody, and I will not remind them of that but I still feel like they're getting exploited. Because I've been used before, and the ending wasn't pretty, there's nothing I can do about it; these kids have put their minds on saving Earthbread and nothing can turn them from the idea.
I hate the fact that they trust the ancients, who don't really care about them, more than me; their mother who has been protecting them for the last year and a half.
The tears started coming from my eyes as I heard the door creak.
I look to see Gingerbrave with his fresh bandages; I hate to look at those, so I focused on his face.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing, just wanted water." as he quickly went to the sink, Strawberry showed up; noticing us she kind of tried to hide.
"Don't worry, we won't bite." I smiled.
She also started walking toward the sink. Then Wizard came, not noticing any of us until he turned around. h
He gave a surprised gasp; I giggled.
"Don't worry; it's us, pointy hat."
As he went inside the kitchen, Custard showed up, and I smiled.
"I guess everybody wants water at the same time tonight."
I giggled a little bit, like Chili when they first met; it's probably more comfortable for them, although we all know I have changed.
Custard said: "No, actually. I had a nightmare and I was going to get water to not wake you guys up. But the others joined in, they're always."
"Yeah, me too."
They looked at each other.
"That's okay," I said, breaking character "you guys want to talk about it?"
They shook their heads.
"Okay, do you guys at least want a hug?" The moonlight had started coming from the window, so I could see all of them nod. "Okay then."
All of them got their water and drinks as I sat down on one of the benches in the corridors, from the time that this was an actual castle and not a communal living space.
We all sat down and I gave each of them a hug at the same time making sure that Gingerbrave was by my side so that I could control my hugging to not hurt his fresh injuries.
They all quickly fell asleep in my arms; I smiled and pushed my hair out of their faces.
Maybe there's nothing I can do about the fact they have experienced trauma, and probably will experience more of it, but at least I could be there for them, and I think that would be better than facing it alone, like me.
After that, I drifted off to sleep too.