Chapter Text
When you get married it’s supposed to be the happiest day of your life. Most parts of it are. Your mother fixes your hair up and tucks it inside the veil. It matches perfectly with your shiromuku. The white fabric is interlaced with silver thread. The leaves and delicate vines that wrap around your body make you look like fine china come to life.
Nearly your entire body is cloaked, your face being the only thing to stick out. The gloves you wear keep your hands warm in the dreary rain. The gray clouds aren’t a very appealing sight on your wedding day, but nobody will be there to see your wedding dress anyways.
Despite the somber mood your cheeks are warm and your lips manage to form a smile. You’ve only met the man once, but your heart jumps when you think of him.
—-
Tomioka Giyuu was polite enough at your formal meeting. His bow was low and though he only wore his typical demon slayer uniform it complimented his eyes well. The pools of blue reflected everything, you could see your own nervousness reflected in them.
He sat perfectly still across from you, your parents hovering at your sides. You spied at the man through your lashes. He kept an even gaze while your parents discussed the business aspect of this.
Though you technically have a say in the matter you wouldn’t dream of saying no in the proposition. Not only would it be hard to find another man who’d marry this far below his status, but he’s also the most attractive man you’ve met.
There’s a dozen other things you find to like about him too. It’s a short hour that you spend with him, the whole time under strict supervision, but your fingers barely brush his when you pour the tea. The warmth lingers on your fingers, though it might be the feeling on the boiling water inside of the pot.
He moves with grace, perhaps even more than you have. Your parents quiz him, sending all manners of questions his way. Each answer is murmured softly, but they fulfill all of your parent’s requirements. You try to listen as well, but mostly you watch him eat and drink the food you prepared. No smile graces his face, but by the end of the meeting his plate is empty and you count it as a success.
—-
Tucking a fan into your pocket you readjust your shiromuku. The fabric weighs you down like the rock in your stomach. You try to keep calm and you assess yourself in the mirror. Though there’s no imperfections on your face you wipe away some of the invisible mistakes. You check your teeth for the third time that morning to try and catch any lipstick that might cling to them.
Everyone assures you that you’re beautiful.
You wonder if the man hiding down the hall will be the same. During your meeting Tomioka wore his Demon Slayer Corps uniform. The haori overtop it was bold and eye-catching, though it didn’t seem to suit the man very well. You’re looking forward to seeing his choice of clothing for the day.
Moving back your last stray hair all you have to do now is wait.
---
When you step into the small hallway an arm is immediately there to greet you. Taking it, you also look at the man attached. Surprisingly Tomioka still wears the half and half hoari, though underneath he wears the typical grooms clothing. The dark, nearly black, blue melts into his hair and brings out his crystal eyes more. The perfect picture of yin and yang the two of you make your way to the san-san-ku-do. You look forward to drinking the sake cups, not only for what they represent, but also because you can’t quiet your racing mind. Your mind flickers between anxiety and excitement,
Stepping forward you bring the first cup of sake to your lips. Always conscious of yourself, you make sure not to let any of your lipstick smudge against the cup. Drinking from the same place your fiance’s lips touch you’re aware that no matter how indirect, it’s the first time your lips have met. When you place the cup down you’re quick to receive the second. As you sip from it again you nearly choke on the burning feel of alcohol.
As you pass the cup to Tomioka you wonder what he envisions as his drinks. There’s a few different interpretations, but the one you like best is that of father, mother, and child. Today you will become a wife, and hopefully if this path leads you the right way you will become a mother too. Children were not discussed during the first meeting, but you don’t care much. Whatever your husband decides will be what you follow.
Drinking the last cup you seal this fate.
Though you wear a heavy veil, your vision isn’t obscured in the slightest. Still, as you walk away from the empty cups you feel as if you can see nothing. Walking towards the altar you await Tomioka’s vows. Though you’ve barely drunk any alcohol, your head is clouded with anxiety. Ahead of you waits a lifetime of uncertainty.
Your whole life you’ve been taught obedience. Tomioka seems commanding. His eyes have been unwavering this whole time, and as you grasp his arm you notice the sturdy muscle underneath. You separate for only a moment so you can step away. Standing across him at the altar you wait for him to speak.
Your family stands around. Though there’s less than ten people in the room it feels crowded as you stand there. Managing to look the man in the eyes you wait for the priest to speak.
Line after line you can hardly hear the instructions being told. The only thing that makes it into your brain are Tomioka’s soft words curling around your ears.
It’s to be expected, but your face is quick to heat up. The sentences aren’t his own, anybody else could be saying them. There’s probably thousands of other people getting married in this exact same way at the exact same time. Still, the simple and natural way he says the words make you try to hold back a smile.
You can’t say the words quite as easily when it’s your turn to repeat the promising phrases. It’s not that you’re hesitant, in fact that more childish explanation is that you’re rather embarrassed right now. You may not have been isolated for society, but hanging out with other men your age was more or less prohibited.
As you finish repeating the vows back to the man you’ve officially sealed your fate. The words sound foreboding as you think them to yourself, and you try to find better words for it.
This is scary and exciting all at once. There’s some sense of fear lodged deep in your stomach, but most of it is outweighed by joy.
You trust your parents to have picked out a good match for you. So far Tomioka has been nothing but polite. He seems reserved, but shows no doubt as the two of you grasp hands.
---
There’s no reception after the ceremony. Your mother kisses your cheek and presses a small bag of coins into your hand. Pressing the package to your heart you climb into the car and smile out the window. It’s not as if you’ve never been in a car before, but as you watch your family disappears on the horizon.
Turning back around in the seat you smile you steal glances at the man beside you. Tomioka sits quietly, staring out the window. Fidgeting silently you can’t figure out what to do.
Several times you open your mouth as you gaze at him. Every time without fail you can’t think of a single thing to say. Instead, as rain finally starts to fall, you keep your eyes trained on the windows of the car. Silently you pray that the man will speak to at some point during the journey. Occasionally his eyes flicker in your direction, though his face never changes.
You wish you were better at reading other peoples. His demeanor is imperceptible, and any subtle changes completely escape your notice.
You might be married now, but you feel rude staring.
The ride continues in complete silence. Every once in a while your hand twitches to hold his. The brief moment you held it before is engrained into your mind. His hand was warm, but not sweaty. You could feel the years of hard word piled up on the thick callouses. The thought makes you trace your own fingers.
Tracing your palm lines you turn your face back towards the window. Up front a driver sits silently, occasionally you see his eyes flicker back towards the two of you.
You’ve never been so aware of your own presence before. Curled up in your seat you pull the edges of your kimono over your legs. It’s nearly impossible to find a comfortable position in the car, so despite the cold and subtle rumbling you lean against the window.
—-
As the car comes to a slow stop you pick your head up. You hadn’t even realized you’d fallen asleep.
Looking out the window you’re welcomed to the grand view of Tomioka’s beautiful home. It’s large and made out of a beautiful dark wood. Surrounding it are tall shoots of bamboo.
You step out of the car on your own, though you follow Giyuu up the white stone pathway. You offered to help, but he’s able to carry all of your luggage on his own. Though his outfit is loose and dark, you imagine that you can see his muscles flexing underneath.
Still walking behind him, you watch as he adjusts his footing, balancing all your belongings in just one hand, while the other moves to open the door.
Moving inside he sets your suitcases in the entryway, while you slip your shoes off. As the door shuts behind you it knocks out the chilly air and you breath in the warmth of your new home.
Silently you trail behind him. Your family wasn’t particularly poor, but you’ve never been inside a house as big as this one. You’ve only even seen a few this big. The ceiling looms high up over you. Bare walls close in as you walk down the hall.
Though the entire building is spotless, without a spec of dust to be seen, it feels abandoned. The few decorations you do pass tell you nothing about Tomioka’s taste. With the quiet ride and your silent entry you feel more and more awkward. A strange sort of sickness creeps inside your stomach.
Straightening your back you try to brush away any worries. Giyuu is as new to this as you are. It’s not right for you to be so judgmental.
Occasionally you’ll pass a room and Tomioka gestures to it as he tells you the purpose of it. Every room you pass is as empty as the last.
Finally you come to a hallway filled entirely with empty guest rooms. Opening a door in the middle of the hall Tomioka leads you to the entrance of it. “You can do whatever you’d like with this space. My room is just down the hall.”
Stepping inside you’re consumed by uncertainty. “Um, I think most of my personal belongings are in my suitcases,” your voice comes out quieter than intended. Giyuu’s eyes flick towards you for the first time since entering his home.
Without sharing anymore words he nods and walks back down the hall. Left alone you trace the interior of space. It includes a rather spacious closet, which you have hardly and clothes to fill with. On the adjacent side lies your own bathroom, complete with your very own bathtub. Back home you had the luxury of a bathtub in your house, but you shared it amongst your entire family.
A plain mattress and bed frame have been shoved into the corner, contrasted by a rather ornate dresser standing next to it.
The place is very beautiful. High ceilings and fresh tatami flooring surround you. Though it’s yours to keep, you have no idea what to do with it. Maybe you’re just stupid and naive, but you had assumed Tomioka would take you with him.
Still, you hover in the space with worry. The sounds of footsteps fill the hallway. Moving quickly you stand back in your position near the door. Peeking outside the room you come face to face with your husband. He has every single one of your bags secured within his arms.
Drawing yourself against the wall you watch as he sets the luggage down. “Do you need help with anything else?” There’s no trace of annoyance in his voice, but you wilt anyways.
“I should be fine, thank you for your help Tomio- uh Giyuu-san.” His first name feels strange on your tongue.
What feels even stranger is the fact that you don’t know what to call your own husband.
Tomioka blinks slowly. With a quick bow he exits your room.
Left alone you kneel down and begin to sort through your suitcases. Admittedly you’ve brought very little with you. While most of your clothing is packed, only a few personal belongings were important enough to pack in your suitcases. You hadn’t even considered bringing any furniture and looking around the barren room makes you a little sadder. You may have asked for your belongings, but now you have nowhere to put them.
So standing up, you peek outside of your room. The setting sun dims the hall, but there’s still plenty of light to see with. Down the hall you look to where you assume Giyuu’s room to be. Barely you can see some light creeping out from under the door.
Silently you step through the threshold of your own room. As your bare feet slide across the tatami flooring you move to where you remember a closet being. It actually takes you a few tries to find the right door, but gratefully all the wrong tries just lead to more empty spaces.
When you finally find a few blankets and pillows to drag back to your room, you pile quite a few into your arms. The house is warm and well insulated, but there’s a certain chill in your bones anyways.
Fumbling back down the hall you set the futon in the corner of your room. Almost meticulously you spread out the sheets and comforters. Your own bed back home was completely covered with any soft thing you could get your hands on. The array of feathered pillows and old stuffed animals had always left you feeling somewhat embarrassed. A young woman shouldn’t engage in such childish behavior, but now that you see your bed covered in a strangers fabric you can’t imagine falling asleep in this space.
Regardless you begin to peel off the beautiful kimono you had dawned earlier. Underneath you’re confronted with your rather promiscuous underclothes.
Your embarrassment had been tenfold earlier, when you had a painfully awkward conversation with your mother. Still, the idea of being seen by your new husband in the delicate lace had made your thighs rub together in a strange way.
Now you’re standing alone in your room, shivering in the lingerie. Huffing you make your way to the bathroom, deciding to test out the bath. All the hard work put into your complicated updo and thick layers of makeup smothered onto your face will be easily undone with some soap and steam.
Fiddling with the faucets for a few moments you let the bath begin to fill with perfectly warm water. While the water runs you begin the process of removing your undergarments, which have far too many clasps and buttons to be functional. In between pulling buttons and ribbons, you hands also go to all of the pins tucked into your hair.
The thin metal pieces clatter to the ground. Carefully stepping over them you practically leap into the steamy water. As the water sinks into your bones you watch all the dust from the day disappear.
Lucky the bathroom is stocked with some soaps, although the collection is a bit small. Your makeup drips off of your face, though the thick rice paint manages to cling to you. You have to use the nails to scrape away at the thick paint.
Your face feels raw and greasy by the time you’re finally clean, but the soap leaves the rest of your body smooth and spotless. For a few minutes you let yourself dissolve into the warm water.
If Giyuu were here you wonder if he’d let you lean against his chest. It’s probably chiseled and comfortable to lean against. Right now he could be wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning his head on your shoulder. His hair is so long, it’d be fun if you could convince him to let you braid it.
Picking up your head out of the water you notice how cold the water is. It’s almost as cold as the air around you.
Wrapping a towel around yourself you wipe down your body. Slipping your juban on you leave your nice kimono crumpled on the floor. Nobody will notice it’s absence.
Your feet drag slightly as you make your way back to your too firm bed. At the very least the piles of blankets and pillows offer some comfort. Slowly you piled most of them on top on yourself, trapping as much heat in as possible.
Beside you you grab one of the longer pillows and hug it to your chest. Swinging you leg over it you spoon the thing. As sleep begins to creep in you can almost pretend that you’re hugging another person.
—-
In the morning you find that your bed is much to cold. Though the pillows surrounding you have soaked up some of your body heat, but they barely feel lukewarm. Further down your feet are frozen and stiff. The mere thought about exposing yourself to the even colder air makes you shrivel up into the blanket. You’re not even sure what time it is.
You still and try to listen to any sounds outside of the room. No sounds of shuffling or any kind of talking sound from outside your door, though Tomioka hasn’t proven himself to be a very loud person. Picking your head up from the sheets you listen even more intently. Your ears still don’t manage to pick up anything, and you’ll have to leave your room whether or not somebody resides outside of it.
Your feet shuffle across the cold floor, and already you’re regretting your decision. You wrap your arms around yourself and think about putting your thick kimono back on.
Walking back to your suitcase you curse yourself for your stupidity. Opening it up you pull out a simple, yet sturdy kimono. Sighing you decide that you might as well get ready for the day at this point. Revealing yourself to the cold air you go through the tiresome motions of putting on each layer. At the very least you get steadily warmer with each cotton piece. The obi secured around your waist keeps your hips warm despite the lack of hands on them.
Fully dressed you drift back into the hallway and down the stairs. You were shown each room yesterday, but only in passing. Walking through a few embarrassing mess ups you finally make it too a surprisingly empty kitchen.
Looking at inside the cabinets you’re still not very impressed. There’s only two that really have any sort of food in them, and it’s mostly dried or canned. You wonder if Tomioka isn’t entirely human and survives on something else.
Rooting through the cabinets you grab some rice and soup broth. It might not be a very large meal, but you’re not sure if you’ll ever cook for two.
You’re not even sure where Tomioka is at the moment. The thought makes you a little squeamish again, though it’s a distant feeling. You feel sneaky after digging through cabinets and closets, but you needed to find pots and plates if you have any hope of cooking. At least you feel more familiar with the place, and as you set the pot on the stovetop and settle into a familiar routine.
You let the broth begin to boil, adding in the few fresh veggies available. You’ll have to make a grocery list unless you want to starve to death. Moving aside you let the rice begin to cook as well, keeping a careful eye on the food. Though you watch it carefully your ears also prick up to listen for any sounds that would signify Tomioka’s presence.
Even as you move the pots away and dish out the food for yourself you look for any signs of life. Sitting at a grand dining table by yourself you feel that everything is designed to highlight your loneliness. You frown drags down even deeper as you imagine Tomioka here by himself. Though he doesn’t seem eager to recieve your company you’ll offer it anyways.
When you finally hear the stairs creak underneath the weight of a man you compose yourself. Trying entirely too hard you struggle to look relaxed and alert at the same time. Your shoulders perk up even more as the footsteps creep up behind you.
Turning around you smile and try to keep your voice light and casual despite your initial distress. “Good morning Tomioka-san. I hope you don’t mind, but I prepared some breakfast. There’s some extra if you’d like to eat.” Your warm offer is greeted by a cock of Tomioka’s head. He’s back in his uniform from the first time you met him, and it makes your heart hesitate for just a moment.
“My apologies, I’ve been sent on an urgent mission. I’ll be gone for quite awhile.” He remains stoic even though, despite your best attempts, your disappointment must be obvious on your face.
Scrubbing away your fallen expression you’re quick to paste a smile back on, even if it’s not as bright as your first attempt. “May I take a moment of your time to ask you something before you go Tomioka-san?” His chill attitude helps to quell the anxiety that creeps in you as you imagine having any sort of lengthy discussion, or sharing more than a few words.
With a nod from him you fold your hands in front of you. Perhaps you’re taking this too seriously, though it feels like you’re about to make a business proposal. “There’s not much food in the cabinets, which is fine! I don’t want to impose at all.” Your too serious tone dies out quickly as you begin to ramble. “I’m just, will I be able to buy the food myself? I really don’t mind doing whatever you think is best. As long as I don’t starve!” You let out a weak laugh that dies out when Giyuu still doesn’t react.
Going quiet you wait for a response. “I’ll have somebody deliver food today. After that I’ll make sure to send some money. You may do whatever you’d like with it.” He makes sure you’ve picked up what’s he’s said, before brushing past you towards the front door.
Bowing your head you watch him leave without another word.
—-
After cleaning up the dishes and putting any leftover’s in the fridge you stand awkwardly in the middle of what you think is a living room. You’ve decided to really get to know the house, though it seems like most the rooms are barren of everything except the essentials. Other than the occasional houseplant or vase you can only find couches, tables, and threadbare rugs.
Drifting from one room to the other you make your way through the home, avoiding Tomioka’s room. The second floor seems to mostly consist of guest rooms alongside an unused office. The rest of the bedrooms are as uninspired as your own.
Quickly a list of things you’d like to buy grows longer. You don’t want to abuse the money you’ve been promised, but already your sad mood is creeping back up on you and the dreary atmosphere isn’t helping.
The first thing on your list is a phonograph. Your own home wasn’t particularly loud, but comparatively you’re sure you’ll go insane in this absolute silence.
Next you’ll need any sort of color other than the dark browns and blacks of the plain furniture. Tomioka technically gave you permission to do whatever you’d like, though you’re not sure if this is what he meant.
Absent-mindedly you circle around the first floor again until you find a door leading outside. Stepping on the engawa you breath in the smell of damp earth. It’s sunnier than yesterday, but the rain still lingers inside the dirt.
At least the outside has much more personality than anything you’ve seen inside. You saw the well maintained bamboo forest upon your arrival, but now you can also admire the beautiful rock garden in front of it. Idly you wonder if someone maintains the backyard, or if Tomioka takes care of it himself.
Shivering in the slightly too cold air you step back inside. You still haven’t explored Tomioka’s room, and you don’t intend to invade his privacy.
But if you’re married then surely it’s ok for you to enter.
Walking past you convince yourself that it’s ok to just take a peek. You don’t have anything to busy yourself which, other than unpacking (and if you do that it will ensure that you’re really staying in that room, this house, alone). So you hover beyond the door, using your foot to slide it open.
Sticking your head in you’re disappointed to find that the room is hardly more interesting than any other. There’s a bed neatly made in the corner, and a desk with a few stray papers on them. Stepping fully inside you give another quick sweep. Directly beside the door there’s a bookshelf, which is the most interesting thing you’ve seen all day. Though there’s certainly more furniture than any other room, but nothing is decorative or serves any other purpose than to be used.
Turning towards the only thing of any interest, you’re pleased to find that there’s all kinds of books piled onto the shelf. You find plenty of historical fantasy type novels, along with a few plain educational texts. The series of samurai novels doesn’t particularly surprise you, but you pull a few out anyways. Though they’ve obviously been read, only a few show signs of real wear. Taking out the books that are full of weathered pages are curled edges you’re met with a small collection of tragedies. They range in their publication dates, but whether old or new you find stories of romance that usually end in loneliness. Most of the works are popular ones you’ve heard, if not read, before. Though you certainly thought Tomioka seemed like a scholarly type person, you’re still caught off guard by how many old poems are captured within the pages.
Pulling out one of the books in better condition you’re met with the cover of Kokoro. Holding it in your lap you flip through the pages, looking for anything of note. You’ve already read the book, though it’s not something you’d mind reading again.
Sighing you kneel down and shove it back onto the shelf. If these books aren’t going to offer any sort of any type of insight other than their sad themes you’ll read something to cheer you up. Picking up a random book, one of the ones that looks practically untouched, you read the synopsis. It’s some western novel, a romantic one that’s indicative of the german fairytale stories.
Leaving the room alone again you hope Tomioka won’t miss the novel.
Trotting back down to the first floor you rest on a plush seat near the front of the house. You trace the cover, feeling the gentle imprint of the pattern engraved. Flipping inside you find a name written inside.
Tomioka Tsukato
Peering at the name you mull it over in your mind. You know that the man has no family presently.
You’re quick to shut the book. You may be a bit of a snoop, but you’re not nosy enough to go through a dead person’s property. Tracing your hands over the cover you realize why the book is in such pristine condition.
You wonder who Tsukato was. Likely his mother or sister, though you suppose it could be a more distant relative.
Either way you stand up and move back to Tomioka’s room. Carefully you find the spot you took it from, and slide it back into place. Sitting back you look at the rest of the bookshelf. You wonder just how many of these books belong to dead people.
Walking back downstairs you now have no way to keep yourself busy. You could eat lunch now, but all you have is breakfast to reheat. There’s a chance you’ll starve to death before any other food gets here.
—-
This time you’ve decided to take lunch within your room. You rest your back against the bed, eating surrounded by your messy luggage. It really is time that you unpack it, but you’d rather die of boredom before doing that.
Shoving your meager lunch to the side you half-heartedly sort through your clothes. The ones from your wedding night are still piled in the bathroom, but you don’t want to look at them right now. Instead you fold your plainer, everyday clothes. There’s not many anyways, and the rest of your suitcase is a few childish trinkets or gifts from your parents. A strange mixture of sadness and anger surges through you.
Maybe it was stupid of you to get married, or you’re just being too emotional. It’s likely some combination of both.
The only thing that takes you out of your head is a loud knock on the door. Looking up you’re quick to stand and rush downstairs. You don’t know who could be at the door, you might even end up murdered, but that’s certainly more exciting than wandering a lonely house all day.
Opening the door you grin, faced with a man surround by boxes. “How can I help you?”
Startled, the worker looks up. He seems like he’s seen a ghost, but breaks out into a surprised laugh. “I wasn’t expecting an answer,” he sheepishly admits. “Are you Tomioka-san? I have a delivery for you!”
With a surprised noise you nod. It’s strange, being addressed as a Tomioka. You certainly weren’t expecting to see anything brought to you so quickly either. “Is this all just food,” you question the man.
“I’m not completely sure. You husband made quite a large order, I think there might be some cooking utensils in here as well.”
With a pleased smile you clear the doorway. “Could you just put the box right inside for me? I can put everything away from there.” Right away the man grunts, lifting up the big box one more time. He sets it as gently as possible on the rug, and it’s quite a feat considering how heavy all the food must be.
“Thank you sir.” You bow respectfully, but your heart twists knowing that this small interaction will probably be a lone occurrence until you have an excuse to go into town.
“No worries ma’am, it’s my job after all. I hope you have a wonderful evening!” Before you can even say anything else, he’s bowed to you and disappeared back out the door.
Slightly more saddened, you close the door behind him. You’ll have to cheer yourself up by making a dinner with real food. The box isn’t closed too tight, and your able to pry the top off with ease.
Once the contents are exposed you nearly faint. There’s a wide variety of things, ranging from flour and beans to white colored strawberries. Part of you is touched that Giyuu would invest so much money into a small request from you. The other part is just convinced that the man had no idea of what he was ordering. There’s enough food to feed a small crowd, and it seems that you’ll be having a feast over the next few days, especially considering how much of the container is perishable.
—-
After eating until your stuffed, you decide to crawl back to your own bed. So far it just seems like your future is full of boring days, spent rooting through dead people’s belonging. You shouldn’t be so pessimistic, your mother would be scolding you right now if she could read your mind.
It’s hard to be happy though, when you go back to your empty room. Stripping down and undoing your hair you leave the clothing and pins on the floor. The stuff from your wedding is still piled into the corner. You shove your now dirty clothes over the intricate kimono.
Flopping into your bed, you lie there in your thin underclothes. Worming your way under the sheets, you resume the same position as last night. Hugging a pillow you snuggle as deep into the mattress as possible.
—-
The next few days you mostly sit around and try to eat some of the vegetables and fruits before they go bad. The oranges are perfectly ripe along with everything else you taste. The white colored strawberries taste like normal ones, but they are beautiful. You use some of them to make jam, and you attempt to pickle some other things.
Other than that you mostly just lie around. You know the layout of the house well now, and you spend most of your time in the front room or rock gardens. The weather has cleared up, and the sun makes for nice company.
You don’t bother to go into town. It’s dangerous for a woman to be traveling alone, and you don’t have any money to use at the moment anyways. You wish Giyuu had a maid, or some kind of cook that you could bother.
At least the large house gives you plenty of places to bum around in. Though the most interesting place you go back to is Tomioka’s room. Most other rooms are empty, or filled with plain furniture. Your husbands room isn’t too different, but you enjoy just sitting there and gazing at the walls.
It feels different than all the other rooms. You can see traces of life in the worn down floor and the smeared ink that covers the desk. Brushing off any guilt you reason that this house is as much yours as it is his, and you won’t go through his belongings again. All you want is the small comfort of feeling not quite alone.
Once while you’re staring at his ceiling, you fall asleep. His bed doesn’t feel as sterile as your own, and the warmth from the setting sun coaxes you into a light slumber.
—-
Eventually you get into a pattern of falling asleep in Tomioka’s bed. It’s warm and more comfortable than your own bed, plus it makes you feel less lonely. Somehow it feels like you’re closer to Tomioka this way, even though he’s been gone for a week at this point. You wonder what the morality rate for demon slayers is, it has to be high.
Wrapping the heavy blanket around yourself you snuggle into the soft mattress and doze off in the warm afternoon.
—-
When you’re awoken by a soft touch against your cheek, and you startle awake, thinking that you’ve somehow been caught by Tomioka.
Sitting up you brush hair off your face, looking around for who, or what, spooked you. As you tilt your head up, you’re welcomed with a face full of soft black feathers. Swiping your arms around frantically you scare the black bird. It hovers in the air, darting around as you still panic.
“Letter for Tomioka-san! Letter for Giyuu’s wife!” The bird screeches from the air. As you finally lower your hands it hops closer to you hesitantly. When it gets close enough the crow lifts up one of his legs, showing off the paper and bag attached to the foot.
Slowly you inch your hand towards it curiously. As you pull the string from away you grab both ojects. You rub at your eyes and unfold the paper.
Here is some money, you may spend it however you’d like.
I will have Ubuyashiki-sama send a portion of my income back to you.
Tomioka Giyuu
Turning your gaze towards the bag you peek inside of it. Tucked within are a multitude of bills, much more than some stray pocket money. Looking at the crow you’re not sure what to expect. Expectedly the creature offers no explanation.
Peeling the blankets off your form, you crawl out of the bed. “Um.” You look at the bird curiosity. “Will you give Giyuu-san my thank please?” You give an awkward sort of bow. It feels ridiculous to do this for a crow, but it hops closer to you and rubs it’s head against your legs.
Afterwards the bird is quick to hop over to the open windows and fly off. You squint watching the black dot eventually disappear into the sun.
Looking back in your hands you read the letter once more. The handwriting on it is poised, but simple. Your other hand holds the bag full of cash, dozens of ¥10,000 notes inside.
Blinking, you stand in the middle of the room for a moment, before shaking your head and leaving the room. Walking back to your own room, you set the letter on your dresser. Opening the top drawer you drop the bag inside and turn around.
—-
You spend the rest of the day cleaning like how you usually do. Finally you decide to wash your clothes from your wedding and the nights after. Pausing for a moment you decide to wash Giyuu’s sheets as well. You feel embarrassed to be caught in his bed, even if it was just by an animal.
You don’t know what you could possibly do with the cash. Now you have a reason to go into town, but the thought of going alone is still a bit frightening. Pausing in your work for a moment you wish you had a friend to go with, or even a pet.
Picking at the threads of the fabric within the water you dig your nails into the soft cotton. Tomioka’s blankets are a beautiful dark blue floral pattern. Right now you’re stuck with the plain ones you were given. If you go through the closets again you might be able to find something less boring.
That’s something you could use the cash for.
You’ll have to make a list sometime, then find a way to brave the journey into town. You can put your hair up with a long pin perhaps. You’ve heard stories of women using them as a defense weapon.
Your problems would be solved if you could get Tomioka to go into town with you. He didn’t say when he would return, but you have plenty of comforts here. Boredom is the only thing that plauges you, and it’s something you can deal with.
Sighing you drag the blanket out of the water you place it in the other basket. Grunting you pick up the container full of wet clothes, moving outside. Thankfully there’s clothing lines already set up, and you only have to sort through a few drawers to find pins.
It’s sunny again today. The wind keeps you from getting too warm, and you can work quickly. Though you’re sure Giyuu will gone for a few days, you don’t want him to catch you doing his laundry, even if it’s your responsibility.
Afterwards you’re eager to treat yourself to a delicious lunch. You have plenty of fresh fruits to eat, mixing as many as them as possible into your meals. Right now you’re stuck working through the oranges you were given, eating one underneath the sun.
Looking out on the gorgeous forest that lies beyond the rocks and stoned, you try to keep your thoughts from wandering. All you can do these days in think, and you’re mind just circles around to the same topics.
—-
You’re stuck in one of your bouts, thinking about home and your situation now, when Giyuu returns. It happens as if it’s an ordinary occurance, even though it’s been two weeks since he left suddenly. Without even announcing his presence he walks inside and drifts past you.
Sitting up to rush to the threshold of your room. Peeking just around the door frame, you watch Tomioka walk straight to his room. If he notices you, then he doesn’t make any movement that tells you. Once his door is fully closed, you tiptoe out into the hallway.
Approaching his door hesitantly you rest your hand on the solid wood. You want to knock, instead you turn around and make your way downstairs. Pulling some leftover curry out from the fridge you pull it out and set it on the stove to heat. In a separate pot you prepare some fresh rice.
Standing there barefoot in the kitchen you feel that familiar feeling rise in your throat. You’re constantly stuck living in the cycle of avoiding your thoughts, only to wilt when they catch up to you. While you heat up the meal you shove some sweets down your throat, hoping the sugar can give you some sort of comfort.
As you judge the sweet curry to finally be warm enough, you dish out a meal for two. With the steaming rice accompanying it, you drag two separate trays upstairs.
Pausing for a moment you set one serving just inside of your room. The other finds it’s place outside of Giyuu’s door.