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Starry Eyed

Summary:

"Sunlight…" Akutagawa had spoken without thinking, unable to catch himself.

"Sunlight?" Atsushi responded, offering a look of confusion. Truthfully, trying to figure out why Akutagawa had mentioned sunlight when it was already near midnight.

"Ah, that's just…what you remind me of."

Notes:

I love the idea of Akutagawa being mesmerized by Atsushi's eyes, so I started writing and just went wherever Google Docs took me.
There's few tags bc it's literally just soft 'love confessions', idk what else to say, yk?

Work Text:

How peculiar… Akutagawa thought to himself.

 

He was lost.

Or at least, it felt that way.

He was staring at the man beside him, completely lost in his eyes. They were…unnatural. In simple terms, that's what they were. To some others they were unnerving, or 'weird', but not to Akutagawa. To Akutagawa, the man's eyes were…captivating? Alluring? He couldn't really tell. But whatever they were, he knew his eyes were beautiful.

He knew he was beautiful…

 

"Akutagawa?" The voice of said beautiful man snapped him out of his 'trance'. "Is…something wrong?" 

 

"Sunlight…" Akutagawa had spoken without thinking, unable to catch himself.

 

"Sunlight?" Atsushi responded, offering a look of confusion. Truthfully, trying to figure out why Akutagawa had mentioned sunlight when it was already near midnight.

 

"Ah, that's just…what you remind me of."

 

Atsushi's expression quickly changed from confused to almost embarrassed.

 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

 

Akutagawa didn't respond, getting too caught up in his eyes once more.

 

Are those stars? 

 

"Your eyes…" His voice was hardly even a whisper.

 

"Oh." Atsushi let out a quiet laugh, but there was hardly any joy in it. "They're uh, yeah they're definitely weird ." He finally looked away, starting to mess with a loose string on his gloves.

 

"Not to me!" Akutagawa leaned forwards on instinct, his words coming out a little hastier than intended before he caught himself and shifted backwards again. "Not to me…I think they're…" Akutagawa couldn't find the words as Atsushi glanced at him expectantly.

 

"They're…?"

 

"Beautiful."

 

"Beautiful?"

 

Akutagawa shook his head, immediately regretting the action once he saw Atsushi's face fall for just a split second.

 

"No, no!! Your eyes are beautiful, you're beautiful, it's just…" Akutagawa sighed. "You deserve more than beautiful…"

 

Atsushi was…shocked. To say the least.

Him? Beautiful? That was never a word used to describe him, by anyone! And especially not Akutagawa, of all people.

 

"More?" Was all he could get out, a noticeable crack in his voice.

 

"So much more. You're so much more than beautiful." Akutagawa's tone was soft, he'd even go as far as to say it was delicate. 

 

Those weren't words used to describe Akutagawa, nor Atsushi.

Neither of them were soft or delicate. And neither of them were ever considered beautiful by anyone but the other.

 

"That's rich, coming from you."

 

Akutagawa cocked his head to the side, giving him a look.

 

"'More than beautiful' you say." Atsushi almost scoffed. "You, you. The man who's somehow managed to look elegant even in battle, calling me, of all people." He rolled his eyes. " 'More than beautiful' " That time he did scoff, leaving Akutagawa utterly baffled.

 

“Elegant?”

 

“Of course!” Atsushi’s voice was exasperated, catching Akutagawa off guard once more. “You can’t tell me you don’t see it in yourself!?”

 

“I-...” He paused to sort out his own words, not paying attention to his reddening face. “I feel I fight bloody, not elegant…” Akutagawa didn’t meet his eyes.

 

“And I don’t feel more than beautiful, so it looks like we’re even.” 

 

A silence settled between the two, not uncomfortable. But it felt more like a reluctant truce than anything.

 

“How do I show you?” 

 

Now it was Atsushi who was caught off guard. “Show me…?”

 

“That you’re more than beautiful to me. That your smile could be the only light I need for the rest of my life, that you could be the only light I need, and that the very thought of you almost brings me to tears because I just don’t know how to tell you I-” Akutagawa cut his own rambling off before he could say something he may regret. “I just don’t know…”

 

“Akutagawa…?” There was a different tone to Atsushi’s voice now, one Akutagawa recognized, but it was one he could never place the meaning of. 

 

Akutagawa was too wrapped up in his own head, holding his breath like he was afraid of what Atsushi might say next.

 

“Do you love me?”

 

Yes, unbelievably so. He wanted to say.

 

“What gave you that impression?” Is what he said instead. He was too cautious, he was testing the waters, but too afraid he’d slip and drown.

 

“Is that a no?”

 

Akutagawa stared at Atsushi for a moment, deciding his next words carefully.

 

“What gave you that impression…”

 

And Akutagawa swore he heard Atsushi’s breath hitch.