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Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t celebrate his birthdays.
As a regressor, his life has been an endless cycle of repeats, hardly stopping even once. Innumerable days have been spent, and yet time never seems to pass for him. All he could do was to keep going.
Birthdays hardly ever matter to him. He is always 28, sometimes 29, rarely 30, hardly beyond that, before the cycle restarts for him once again.
He can barely remember how he came to even know of his own birthday.
For as long as he remembers, he has always existed without being born.
Of course that is not the case with Yoo Mia, or Lee Seolhwa, on regressions where she would bother to tell him. Yoo Joonghyuk knows for a fact that, what could be a repeat for him was a one time occasion for them. So he tries. He tries to celebrate them, and to allow himself to be celebrated in turn— on regressions that would allow it.
But—
Beyond that, all the days have blurred together. An amalgamation of failed game saves. Yet another trip around the clock tower that never falters. An anniversary of one’s birth — such things mean very little to a regressor.
It is only recently that he’s able to break through that cycle of regret, that time begins to move for him and only very recently that he’s able to slow himself, to allow himself to come to a halt.
He looks up at the clock’s face, towering high above the clouds.
The minute hand moves by a margin, and the hour hand soon follows — once again completing its cycle, just as Yoo Joonghyuk has finished his.
The bell tolls eight times. An hour has passed.
The clock soon stills.
And Yoo Joonghyuk begins to move. It’s about time he heads back.
Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t keep track of the days.
As a regressor, what day it was never mattered. The days would only be counted and numbered, but no one day mattered more than most. With a few exceptions.
On regressions where he is allowed to have her, Mia would never let him forget. Her birthday, his own, the companions birthdays— all these are the special days she would keep to his heart.
However, it is still difficult.
Even as everything has ended, even as everyone has gained their resolution and all that’s been lost has been returned, he still finds it puzzling.
As the carriage of time starts to move for him, he feels a little motion sickness after having gone through so much stillness.
Nowadays, he keeps track of the days by his companion’s habits, their comings and goings, their plans and preferences.
On Mondays he’d make a hearty meal for Yoo Sangah, filled with all her favorite things, to keep her going through a day full of meetings. On Tuesdays and Fridays, he would cook stamina boosting lunches for Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung before they head to the gyms they now work at together. On Wednesdays, he’d make a nice filling dinner for Mia, to replenish her energy after her training with Teacher. On Thursdays, he’d make time to help Seolhwa test out the new herbs they’ve grown, and bake small treats for her tea time with Lee Sookyung. On Friday and Sunday nights, he’d remind Sooyoung not to stay up too late, and brew her some soothing tea for her headaches with the leaves Lee Sookyung gave him.
On every passing weekday, he’d help Lee Seolhwa deal with Kim Dokja’s meals. He’s still at a sensitive stage of his recovery. She would tell him every time, despite him never having asked for the information in the first place. He needs to be kept under a very strict meal plan for now, to replenish his nutrition and as to minimize any complications.
On Saturdays and Sundays, he’d help out at the garden and cook with the children. It was something Yoo Sangah suggested, for them to get “closer” to one another and for the children to “learn some life skills” to prepare for their futures, something she tacked on after learning about Lee Jihye’s ghastly eating habits in college.
Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t mind, he likes to keep his hands busy.
The children may be noisy and rowdy, and they certainly aren’t always helpful in the kitchen, but theirs is always a welcome presence. They have been good to Mia, and she has smiled much more in their company. That is enough reason to keep them around. And if he has also felt the corners of his mouth raising in their presence, that’s no one’s business but his.
So when the children come to him on a Saturday, asking him to teach them how to make his famed Murim dumplings, he doesn’t think much of it. It is a Saturday like any other, and it is thus when they would come to him for their regular lessons.
Still.
“Why Murim dumplings?”
Murim dumplings are definitely one of the greatest, most fulfilling dishes to have ever graced mankind. Its decadent texture, the mild yet juicy flavor, and the perfect balance of spices of its filling are simply to die for. What’s more, they’re entirely versatile in terms of cooking process; one could steam, boil, pan fry or even deep fry it.
Should he impart this divine wisdom to these children, they would no longer seek after the cheap thrills of convenience store dumplings. Those, he had always hated. Even before his regressions, back when it was just him and Mia, neither of them could stand to eat those heinous things.
He nods to himself.
It is an excellent choice of dish. He would be doing them a great service.
But it is a dish not known to many, as its origins are very much of another world.
He figures they would start with something simpler, or more familiar.
Lee Gilyoung looks as though he is about to retort, but Mia beats him to it. “Why not, orabeoni? Didn’t you always tell me that staying in our comfort zone would ‘breed complacency’ or something?”
That certainly sounds familiar.
“Mia said it’s your favorite!” Shin Yoosung, now standing just a bit taller, interjects. Always the neutralizer of the group. “So we were wondering how good it could really be?”
“Gilyoung oppa wouldn’t believe me when I said your dumplings are better than god.” Mia protests, crossing her arms and huffing indignantly.
“All I’m saying is there’s no way dumplings can be that good!” Lee Gilyoung harrumphs.
Lee Gilyoung… It seems these days he’s been hanging around a particular author too much.
“My whole life I’ve never had dumplings that are any good!” The girls turn to look at him with pity in their eyes.
“That’s enough.” Yoo Joonghyuk’s voice is firm and brings them to attention. He looks to Yoosung and Gilyoung and sees that they now have learned that this is not a sign that he is being unkind. Maybe this is a given, with how much company they’ve shared the past few years. But still, for a brief moment, he feels a subtle warmth settle in his chest. Perhaps Yoo Sangah is right.
“We will have to adjust some of the ingredients, but,” he notes the expectant look in their eyes. “I will teach you.”
The three children all look up to him with warm smiles on their faces.
The children are quick learners as always. Perhaps it is due to their weekly training with him, the skills they learned have become habitual. Yoo Joonghyuk nods to himself. Cooking is as much of a learned skill as martial arts. It requires discipline and practice. And these children have certainly committed to these things as far as he’s observed.
He shifts his attention from the dumpling he’s kneading in his hands to oversee their progress. Mia’s hands are quick, but she still struggles controlling her newfound strength, resulting in a few tears around the dough here and there. The results of her training with Teacher seem to be bountiful, but it would be good if she does not overdo it. Speaking of Teacher, perhaps he should bring this matter up to her. Mia is much too stubborn to listen to him these days.
Shin Yoosung is careful, and she seems to work with precision, although this does slow her progress just a bit. He does not need to worry much about her. That child has always had a good head on her shoulders.
Lee Gilyoung notably struggles. Compared to the other two, his fingers are a bit clumsy. And perhaps he was unable to pick up on Yoo Joonghyuk’s quick movements, because after a few failed tries, he can only cease his handiwork to look at the board in puzzlement. His thick brows are drawn tightly as though he is faced with a particularly difficult problem.
These days, Yoo Joonghyuk is nothing if not patient, so he approaches the boy in a calm fashion. “Which part are you struggling with?”
The boy, whose height now nearly rivals his, nearly jumps despite himself. He puts a hand over his heart, as though it would jump out any moment.
“That, um…,” the boy looks away, perhaps in embarrassment. The two girls barely even tried to contain their muffled laughter. He glares at them, though this does not deter them.
The sight is very familiar. Yoo Joonghyuk briefly wonders what it reminds him of.
“Uh, I don’t know how to make the shapes look right.” The boy shows the messy dumplings he’s made on the chopping board. “And some of the fillings keep spilling out, see…”
Yoo Joonghyuk looks on, seemingly deep in thought.
Perhaps Gilyoung mistakes the silence for disapproval, because he goes on almost sheepishly. “Sorry… Joonghyuk…hyung. I’m no good at this after all.”
“Maybe we should just dump my batch and start over?” The boy looks almost pitiful with his downturned gaze.
Yoo Joonghyuk is suddenly acutely aware of what this reminds him of.
He shakes his head. “That is not necessary.”
Should I start over? These are the very words he’s uttered in so many lifetimes, and the very words he’s come to abandon.
He picks up one dumpling, clearly hanging onto its last breath — frayed at the ends with the filling spilling out. “We can still use these.”
With his gloved hand, he carefully scoops out some of the excess filling. “When it spills like this, it means you’ve added too much.”
“All you have to do is to get rid of some of them,” he then uses his fingers to seal the dough around it. “And then seal it back nicely.”
He looks back to see if the boy is paying attention, and is mildly surprised to find his big eyes watching on so keenly.
It reminds him of Lee Jihye. It’s been a while since he’s had a protege.
Once again, the girls seem entirely too amused at this. The glint in their eyes remind him of a certain pair of thorns in his side. He suddenly feels a sense of camaraderie with the boy before him.
“Mia, you should also pay attention,” he adds, no longer bothered to spare her feelings as he often does. “Some of your dumplings are just as torn up as his.”
An indignant orabeoni! is soon heard, but the girl scoots over to their table anyway, with Shin Yoosung in tow.
He clears his throat, before picking up another dumpling, torn at the side. “This one, it means the dough got a bit too dry.”
He wets a finger with some water before reshaping and pinching the dough. “It doesn’t need a do-over. You just have to wet it a bit and close it.”
“To prevent this, you should test out the dough first before adding the filling,” he demonstrates in front of them, stretching the dough a bit and poking at it. “Feel the texture. If you think it’s too dry, add just a little bit of water.”
“This wouldn’t be possible if we were using those premade doughs.”He adds nearly a spoonful of water to the ball of dough in his hand, before continuing to knead it. “Which is why it’s always better to make it from scratch.”
He holds up the dough, now perfect in quality. The children’s oohs and ahhs feel somewhat good to hear.
“As for the others,” he continues as he regards the row of dumplings with odd shapes. “They’re fine, Lee Gilyoung.”
“The shapes may not be perfect,” he holds one up to inspect.
Nothing ever is, after all.
“But they won’t fall apart when we cook them,” he continues. “So I’d say they’re sufficient.”
Still, Gilyoung frowns. “But I want to make ‘em look nice.. Like yours…”
Yoo Joonghyuk feels proud all of the sudden.
“Then, shall we go over it again?” he suggests. An eagerness to learn should always be rewarded.
The boy nods, his face filled with determination.
And so goes the rest of their afternoon.
Because of Gilyoung’s insistence, he has spent more time than he has usually allotted for these sessions. And somehow, they have ended up with more dumplings than they can probably manage.
Now all that’s left is to cook and serve them.
“Ah, Joonghyuk ahjussi… I just remembered,” Yoosung says suddenly, in mock surprise, just after he finishes demonstrating the cooking method. “I think Seolhwa unni was looking for you.”
“Lee Seolhwa?” That’s unusual. Lee Seolhwa is not the type to ask things so suddenly. And Shin Yoosung is not a very good liar.
“Is it urgent?”
“Um.. I think it is,” Yoosung shifts her footing. “I’m sorry I forgot to tell you, ahjussi. You should go see her now.”
Behind her, Mia not so subtly rolls her eyes.
Something must be up after all.
However, before he can make his suspicions known—
“Orabeoni, just go see her,” Mia pushes him towards the doorway. She has grown much stronger than he expected. “We can handle the dumplings just fine. Yoosung’s a pro and you showed us so many times. So just go see that unni already!”
Before he is able to protest any further, the door to the kitchen is already shut and locked behind him. And soon, bickering follows. He can barely make out the words they’re saying, but he can definitely make out the few expletives peppered here and there. Han Sooyoung is clearly a bad influence on these three. He’ll have to give her a firm talking to after this. They must also be responsible for this rudeness.
His thoughts are soon interrupted when a finger taps at his shoulder. As he turns around, he sees the woman he expected. “Lee Seolhwa.”
Lee Seolhwa seems to be in a good mood. Her snow white hair seems especially silky today and her bold red lips are smiling from ear to ear. She seems to be hiding something behind her back. “Joonghyuk-ssi. I’ve been looking for you all day.”
Yoo Joonghyuk can barely protest before he is being tugged around by one hand towards the residential areas. His companions are treating him unusually roughly today. Didn’t they promise to allow him to do things at his own pace?
They eventually come to a stop near Seolhwa’s lab, just adjacent to her herb garden.
“What’s the emergency?” He asks rather seriously. “Did one of your plants act up again? I told you to hold off the fertilizer until we know for sure.”
Seolhwa only smiles, and instead presents him with the package she’s been holding onto the entire time. “I need Joonghyuk-ssi to help me test something.”
Lee Seolhwa had then pushed him into the showers, then upon finishing, had laid him upon her operating tables (”which are clean! So don’t you protest with me!”), and lathered this odd product onto his face (”It’s called a face mask, Joonghyuk-ssi.").
“I’m not trying to be an idol,” he grumbles. “Why are you doing this to me?”
She pinches the skin of his hand, “don’t talk, Joonghyuk-ssi. You’ll break the mask.”
“Help me out a little, why don’t you?” She huffs, and he can hear her uncapping her pen. “It’s a new product I’m experimenting with. I’ve tried it out myself and it’s safe, but I need outside data. It’s supposed to be soothing for the skin.”
Well, he can’t argue with that. He’s always agreed to help her out with these experiments, especially when everyone else is out of commission, which seems to be the case today as he can’t seem to find anyone outside of the kids and now, Lee Seolhwa, who just seemed to pop out of nowhere.
It is a little suspicious, but—
The effects of Lee Seolhwa’s formula on this product seem to be very strong. He finds the muscles in his face loosening and relaxing bit by bit, and the cool soothing sensation is much welcome in this drying heat.
Seolhwa hums, the sound of pen strokes upon paper can be heard. “I see, it seems to be working as intended.”
“Then Joonghyuk-ssi, you should stay here for a while and get the full effect of the treatment. I put some muscle relaxant elixirs in the bathing foams as well, so you won’t be able to move until the time is up.”
Hold on. What did she just say?
He grunts in protest.
“It’s fine, Joonghyuk-ssi. I just need to stretch my legs a bit,” she sounds entirely too amused by this. “Just relax, and someone will come to pick you up when it’s time, okay?”
The click clack of her heels soon fade away in the distance and Yoo Joonghyuk is alone, slowly succumbing to his fate as he starts to fall into deep slumber.
As his thoughts begin to drift, he wonders what the hell his companions are doing to him.
“Oiiii Master.”
A distant voice brings his consciousness back to the surface. Blearily, he tries to open his eyes.
Before him, stands Lee Jihye, a hand on her hip and a mischievous glint in her eyes. She’s grown so much. It’s been a while since they’ve seen each other. Her high school uniform is now replaced with a casual, trendy outfit, and her ponytail is styled just a bit differently to the side.
“Lee Jihye?”
Surprisingly, he has woken up feeling very refreshed, as though all the muscles in his body have been destroyed and regenerated. It’s also the best he’s slept in years. He should tell Lee Seolhwa that her product is proven ingenious once again, even if her methods are a bit questionable.
“Why are you here? Are you slacking at university?”
Jihye pouts, crossing her arms. “I came to visit you and this is what you ask me! Geez, master!”
He looks at her, nonplussed.
“My classes are fine!” She insists. “Now let’s get you ready! We’ll be late for the get together.”
He blinks. Is it time for their yearly celebration again? That doesn’t seem right.
“Aish. Don’t think too hard! Seolhwa unni’s serum would wear off if you stress too much!” She pushes him towards the door until he is willing to walk on his own.
“Where are we going?”
“The riverside….,” Jihye looks at him in surprise. “No way, did those brats forget to tell you?”
Yoo Joonghyuk frowns. “They’re not brats.”
“Ugh, you never say that about me, master! You’re too nice to them!” She complains, though then adds on. “Still, I’m glad you took me in, Master.”
They eventually leave the house after Jihye makes him change his clothes numerous times on account of them being “too boring” for her tastes. Really what did it matter? Why is he letting them push him around like this?
As they finally arrive by the bank of the Han River, Yoo Joonghyuk comes to realize that it’s quite dark out — unusually so.
Just as he is about to question it, Lee Jihye calls out in a loud voice, “Everyone! We’re here!”
“God Jihye-yah, way to ruin the surprise!” A voice that sounds like Jung Heewon’s can be faintly heard in the distance.
“Dumbass, so are you by yelling like that.” A voice that sounds like Han Sooyoung retorts.
Several people sigh.
Then suddenly—
A brief flash of light that nearly burns his eyes, and a faint popping noise soon follow.
Yoo Joonghyuk is then met with a festival of light. The entire riverbank is decorated by lanterns of all shapes and sizes and the popping noise he heard seems to be a party popper, judging by the confetti all over the grass, and he suspects, all over himself as well.
“Wow what’s with that shocked face.” Someone laughs.
“I told you he’d forget again.”
Yoo Joonghyuk notes the faces of those in attendance. There are more than he realized. Kim Dokja smiles serenely in his wheelchair and Lee Sookyung sitting next to him. Han Sooyoung, who is handling his wheelchair while arguing with Jung Heewon, who is standing next to a set of barbecue grills. Lee Hyunsung right next to her, his hands full with several plates of meat — all premium cuts. Yoo Sangah, who is setting the plates on the picnic mats. The kids, with the dumplings they prepared together — all perfectly cooked, sitting on one of those mats. Lee Seolhwa, smiling at him, is already helping herself to a dumpling as she sits next to them. Jang Hayoung, with a camera in her hand, talking animatedly to Aileen Makerfield. Anna Croft, Han Myungoh and even Gong Pildu are there too. And even…
Teacher.
Namgung Minyoung, sitting just a way’s behind the kids and a figure on her shoulder he can only presume to be Kyrgios Rodgraim.
“Happy birthday, Yoo Joonghyuk!”
“Happy birthday, Joonghyuk-ssi!”
“Happy birthday, Joonghyuk hyung!”
“Happy birthday, Joonghyuk ahjussi!”
“Happy birthday, orabeoni!”
“Happy birthday, Master!”
"Happy birthday, Joonghyuk-ah."
Yoo Joonghyuk feels a little stunned, not really sure of what’s going on.
“Hey! Yoo Joonghyuk-ssi! Don’t just stand there and come help us with the meat!” Jung Heewon calls out, holding up the plate of meat in one hand and a pair of tongs in the other.
He walks over, being ushered by Lee Jihye.
“Heewon-ssi made friends with the local butcher,” Lee Hyunsung explains.
“We figured, since you hated eating outside food so much, you’d be okay if we all cooked it together,” Han Sooyoung chimes in, smiling all smug like a proud cat.
“Sooyoung-ah. Don’t claim credit for ourselves like that,” Kim Dokja laughs, and it doesn’t sound as brittle as it used to. He looks up at Joonghyuk kindly. “Yoo Mia came up with all of it. The dumplings included.”
“We all just chipped in to help,” Lee Seolhwa adds, wiping her mouth with a napkin. “The dumplings are all very delicious, by the way.”
The children all grin at the compliment.
“Seolhwa-ssi! I didn’t take you to be such a glutton!” Jung Heewon jokes.
“Heewon-ssi, you’re the last person who can say that,” Sangah teases, a hand on her hip as she shakes her head in mock disapproval. “Just how much meat do we have left after you ate so much of it.”
Laughter starts to erupt all around, filling the atmosphere with warmth.
His Teacher, Namgung Minyoung herself, saunters over, and takes Yoo Joonghyuk in her hand.
“Joonghyuk-yah,” she says, fondness etched onto her aged face. “You’ve truly found some great people here.”
Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes feel unexpectedly warm.
“My disciple.” His Teacher smiles. “You’ve come so far.”
It feels as though a dam had burst. His Teacher’s hand, his companions’ smiles – They had all been too warm.
As he sits among his companions, eating the food they had all made together, Yoo Joonghyuk thinks, not for the first time, that he is glad to be born.
Yoo Joonghyuk doesn’t usually celebrate his birthdays, nor is he used to keeping track of the passing days.
But now that time has finally moved for him, perhaps he can start.